BunnyPuncher
Joined: Aug 02, 2003
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 Posted:
Jan 25, 2004 - 07:59 |
 
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EMU TV: Return of the Smack! Week 1.
“Good Evening once again sports fans, Rent Brockman here for the first edition of EMU TV: Return of the Smack! Just look at the guests we have lined up: Rat King that skull splattering storm vermin from Rats on Parade! And Norfolk, Dollar Diplomacy’s Thrower voted sexiest EMU member by the EMU Fan Club will be here! So tonight is a real case of Beauty and the Beast!”
“To get things started, lets bring out tonight’s co-host! Stirring Spoon Statue from The Scrambled Eggs!”
*A large treeman lurches onto the stage. 5 minutes later he arrives at the anchor desk and takes root beside Rent*
“Stirring, great to have you on tonight’s show!”
“Hoooom Hooom Hooom! Good to be here Rent. I know you have had problems keeping co-hosts around for an entire show. Very little hurts me as you know! So I think I may be able to break the streak.”
“That’s great Stirring, make sure you stick around after the show, Star Player Nobbla Blackwort is here and he said he wanted to meet you.”
*Stirring Spoon Statue begins quivering with rage*
“TREEKILLER is here! My brothers must be avenged!”
*The massive treeman wades into the audience casting spectators around like ragdolls. The roar of a chainsaw and maniacal laughter is heard above the screams.*
*Rent shakes his head and reaches for his bottle of Dorf’s Finest, fills a tumbler to the brim and chugs it down*
“Sorry folks, just when I thought we finally had a decent co-host he goes and leafs us!”
*The surviving audience members boo the terrible pun*
“All right, I’d like to see you Neanderthals try to do this job, aw screw it, lets just go to the big board and see this weeks EMU leaders!”
*Rent winks as the big board is flashed on the screen*
| Quote: |
Pop Goes the World (Goblin) 164pts
Rats on Parade (Skaven) 156pts
Dollar Diplomacy (Amazon) 88pts
Bollywood Starlets (Amazon) 59pts
Gentle Gentlemen (Human) 50pts |
“Holy Toledo! Goblins, Skavens and Amazons oh my! Where are the big guns? The Dwarves, The Chaos, The Orcs? Could these teams be the future of EMU? Only time will tell. Congratulations to the front runners and remember fans, you can keep updated 24 hours a day on the old world wide web at http://fumbbl.com/FUMBBL.php?page=group&op=view&group=738 19 teams posted scores this week! Don’t ya dare miss it!”
“Let’s bring out Rat King, our first guest of the evening! Rat King plays for second place Rats on Parade! C’mon out you dirty rat!”
*A lean scarred and rugged Storm Vermin pops up from behind Rents chair and hisses. Rent screams in surprise and the mostly skaven crowd goes crazy.*
“Holy sweet –beep-! I didn’t even see you coming, much like your opponents never saw you coming this week!”
“Yesss. It was an excellent week for the Rats. The Horned One smiles upon us.”
*Rent looks away as Rat King begins grooming his fur with his teeth.*
“Is it true that 4 elves bought coffins in one of your games”
*Rat King leans back and laughs*
“Yesss Rent, it is true, we killed four elves in one of our matches. We donated the headless bodies to one of our underworld nurseries to be used as tackling dummies. Unfortunately the children were so excited they devoured them before they could be stuffed. Elves are quite tasty with black mushrooms and toad heads you know.”
“Err.. I’ve heard that. Anything else you’d like to say before we bring in our next guest?”
“Yes, a warning. To Pop Goes the World, those pathetic excuses for goblins, we will destroy you. You are pretenders and incompetents; we have amassed our points in half the number of games. Nothing will stop us from winning the EMU Championship! Especially not a smelly crew of diminutive tail chewers from the surface world!”
*Rat King leaps onto Rents desk and hisses, flips the camera the finger and disappears into the shadows. A troll’s voice echoes stupidly from behind the set “D’uh.. was he talking bout us?”*
“Well that was fun. And yes you big ninny he was talking about you!”
*A big troll knocks down the back wall of the set and stomps over to the desk, slams his fist down splintering the chair where the Rat King was sitting. A tiny goblin peeks out from behind the troll’s left leg*
“Me 16 Tons! Nobody talk –beep- about da Pops like dat! Dem rats is da joke! We gots our points fair and square!”
“You tell em 16!” squeaks the little goblin as he sharpens one of his boot spikes.
“Rent! You tell dat rat he’s gonna be sayin hullo to my little friend! After I drive his puny skull into da pitch!”
“Say Hello! Say Hello!” chirps the puny goblin.
*With that, the goblin sticks out his tongue at the camera and scurries off after the troll*
“Yikes. You heard it here first folks. Some bad blood brewing between those two teams and the Championship Race heats up! If those two teams ever meet on the pitch it’ll be spectacular!”
“Okay, someone clean this mess up and lets bring our final guest. From Dollar Diploamacy, that sexy amazon, Norfolk!”
*A beautiful amazon saunters onto the stage, does a high kick to the delight of the crowd and sits down in the new chair*
“Norfolk, you look lovely this evening! Let’s get down to what all the fans want to know! What do you dolls do to.. heh heh… relax after a hard fought victory.. as you are lying around.. naked.. in the sauna. All those women. Naked.”
“Rent you told me we were going to discuss important political issues, such as the rise of nationalism and the state of the Brettonian welfare system!”
*Rent leers*
“That was just pillow talk baby, just pillow talk, that’s all! So lets get back to the whole.. Naked.. thing shall we.”
*Norfolk leaps to her feet and cracks Rent with a right hand*
“This disgusting treatment and degradation of women in Blood Bowl is exactly why we joined the EMU; to prove our equality! We are not just cheerleaders! We are warrior princesses!”
*Norfolk humphs in disdain and stalks off stage. Rent fixes his hair back into place and calls after her “C’mon baby, gimme some sugar!”*
“She’s a tiger that one. All right we’ve reached the end of the show… wait a minute.. I’ve just gotten word from EMU Founder and CEO Nerfic BunnyPuncher that we are going live to Blodgerstown for an EMU Hall of Heads Update!”
“Boss, what do you have for us?”
*The face of an old grizzled Orc appears on the screen”
“Ha Ha! Well Rent, just want to give you a quick update on the head count so far this season! EMU members have harvested 17 heads since January 10th! Truly a massive haul and I wanted to recognize all the EMU members efforts! So on that note, here are the heads collected and just embalmed by Tender Rotter!”
Lillian 'Keep Surviving' Lineman
http://fumbbl.com/FUMBBL.php?page=player&op=view&player_id=565022
Uril-Gal'Karlong Warriors II' Lineman
http://fumbbl.com/FUMBBL.php?page=player&op=view&player_id=587490
Torioc Bloodhunter'Silver Tree' Lineman
http://fumbbl.com/FUMBBL.php?page=player&op=view&player_id=566633
Lenwë 'Forrest Fighters' Lineman
http://fumbbl.com/FUMBBL.php?page=player&op=view&player_id=517621
Kalligar'Stay away' Lineman
http://fumbbl.com/FUMBBL.php?page=player&op=view&player_id=570149
Taraldur'Aman Megilindar' Lineman
http://fumbbl.com/FUMBBL.php?page=player&op=view&player_id=75431
Kynes 'Followers of Usul' Lineman
http://fumbbl.com/FUMBBL.php?page=player&op=view&player_id=572057
Vicent'Tree Rangers' Lineman
http://fumbbl.com/FUMBBL.php?page=player&op=view&player_id=582663
Cid 'Tree Rangers' Lineman
http://fumbbl.com/FUMBBL.php?page=player&op=view&player_id=582648
Klaus Meyer'Disdainful Dukes' Lineman
http://fumbbl.com/FUMBBL.php?page=player&op=view&player_id=475083
Selassie 'Bladerunners' Wardancer
http://fumbbl.com/FUMBBL.php?page=player&op=view&player_id=586625
Orbean 'Bladerunners' Lineman
http://fumbbl.com/FUMBBL.php?page=player&op=view&player_id=498455
L. Matthäus 'FCB' Thrower
http://fumbbl.com/FUMBBL.php?page=player&op=view&player_id=590766
O. Hargreaves'FCB' Lineman
http://fumbbl.com/FUMBBL.php?page=player&op=view&player_id=587836
B. Lizarazu 'FCB' Thrower
http://fumbbl.com/FUMBBL.php?page=player&op=view&player_id=587861
R. S. Cruz 'FCB' Lineman
http://fumbbl.com/FUMBBL.php?page=player&op=view&player_id=587840
“Now back to you Rent!”
“Wow. Seventeen kills that stayed dead. As we say here at EMU TV, the only good elf is a headless elf! Take care folks and we’ll see you next weekend!”
*You may post criticism, requests for guests, or other discussion in this thread* |
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Last edited by BunnyPuncher on %b %25, %2004 - %15:%Jan; edited 2 times in total |
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Wolter
Joined: Dec 26, 2003
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| Posted:
Jan 25, 2004 - 08:14 |
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Hmmm How can Rats on Parade Be on EMU TV when they just a hour b4 had too concede to a elf team?? The shame ohh the shame... |
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Chickenbrain
Joined: Aug 02, 2003
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| Posted:
Jan 25, 2004 - 10:03 |
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Could you put in the name of the murdering team for each head? |
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Join Themed Blood Bowl for the joy of Themed Teams. |
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Barash
Joined: Aug 02, 2003
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| Posted:
Jan 25, 2004 - 11:30 |
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and maybe the murdering player as well? I'd love to see a EMU liberation front or something like that. |
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Barash |
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Chickenbrain
Joined: Aug 02, 2003
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| Posted:
Jan 25, 2004 - 12:12 |
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and well you can hide the url .. would be neat. Cause it looks better. So that player name is clickable.  |
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Join Themed Blood Bowl for the joy of Themed Teams. |
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BunnyPuncher
Joined: Aug 02, 2003
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| Posted:
Jan 25, 2004 - 15:11 |
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You all suck 
The answer to all the above questions is... possibly depends how bored i get. Except i won't be able to tell which specific player did the mugging. (unless you pm me the info and ensure its accuracy).
FYI Wolter: Rats on Parade are coched by Zsarts.. not shadow.. you got the wrong rats |
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Chickenbrain
Joined: Aug 02, 2003
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| Posted:
Jan 25, 2004 - 15:56 |
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None of us suck. We all hail you master of EMU. But still... |
_________________
Join Themed Blood Bowl for the joy of Themed Teams. |
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Zsarts
Joined: Aug 02, 2003
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| Posted:
Jan 25, 2004 - 20:35 |
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Wolter:
if you had just had an elf team - then they would have had to pain in blood for speaking so poorly about my fellow Rats.
Sigh the shame he is trying to put on my team - must be some kind of bad press he is trying to monger.
On behalf of Rat King from Rats on Parade:
Z
PS: hail the master of EMU! |
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