Rabe
Joined: Jun 06, 2009
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Feb 14, 2014 - 00:37 |
 
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--- agility monsters newsflash --- agility monsters newsflash --- agility monsters newsflash --- agility monsters newsflash --- agility monsters newsflash --- agility monsters newsflash --- agility monsters newsflash ---
Coach Rabe announces a break from tournament games
After the latest loss in round two of a Scheduled SMACK Legend, head coach Rabe stated it was time for the Monsters to take a step back.
Defense coordinator Alion: "The team has performed great recently, but we also suffered sever losses. Grimbald, Ranulf, Arzak... The Monsters don't really work with only twelve players. It's time for some more relaxed games, raising funds and - most important - training."
To calm the fans though, Rabe assured that the team will still join all the major tournaments and eventually get back to SMACKing. Rabe: "We still want to win a minor tournament this year. Period!"
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Nediam Nori drops out, a globetrotter steps in
After 59 games playing for the Monsters, troll slayer Nediam Nori quit right after the late game against the infamous Hellbound Charioteers. He busted into the after-match party and stunned team and staff with his decision. Brumbas later repeated his words to the press: "They showed my how I am supposed to fulfill my oath. They also showed me my next target: the Dark Avenger. I won't wait until I meet him on the pitch again! Bye."
While the party was still staring at the locker door shut behind Nediam, another slayer slammed it open. His first words: "Don't worry, I take over. And it's going to be so much fun!"
Torak Hellbound is a slayer known for traveling the old world and beyond, with death being more of an excuse than a real goal. The attempt of some humans trying to ennoble him for saving their city gave him the nickname "Sir".
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the_Sage
Joined: Jan 13, 2011
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Feb 14, 2014 - 13:54 |
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It's sadly ironic that the agility monsters are one of the very few dwarf teams with 4 AG1 players.
(your average AG is exactly 2, whereas a rookie dwarf team is about 2.3)
If there was one team on all of fumbbl that I'd wish to gain tons of +AG and doubles, it's them. |
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Sir_Marcus
Joined: Oct 09, 2013
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Feb 14, 2014 - 14:02 |
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Good luck rebuilding! May your skill rolls be 11. =) |
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Rabe
Joined: Jun 06, 2009
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Feb 14, 2014 - 17:30 |
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We got +AG once... one time in by now (I think) over 130 skill rolls. 
It's very ironic indeed! All the other teams that I ever developed far enough got +AG eventually, even my newest dwarf team (+AG on a rookie runner...). But I'm a big fan of irony - so what?  |
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bghandras
Joined: Feb 06, 2011
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Feb 14, 2014 - 17:52 |
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| Rabe wrote: | We got +AG once... one time in by now (I think) over 130 skill rolls.
It's very ironic indeed! All the other teams that I ever developed far enough got +AG eventually, even my newest dwarf team (+AG on a rookie runner...). But I'm a big fan of irony - so what? |
Greeting card from "Drow Brew"
The card is printed with black magic ink on yellow paper. However handwritten texts are visible, written with blood after the completion of the magic formula. These bloodwritten texts are in brackets below.
"We feel sorry for the loss of those players (as it was not us who caused), and wish a nice recovery from the losses (after we clash, and decimate you again). Don't worry about the trollslayer, was too weak anyway, not deserving to be on the pitch. We wish you get only agility rolls from now on (but you may need to change the training methods). We recommend joint practices with agile teams to achieve that improvement (daggers, chainsawas can also be good motivation tools to learn dodging). Your sincerely, Drow Brew! (this is dwarf blood - the messenger)" |
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Rabe
Joined: Jun 06, 2009
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Feb 16, 2014 - 01:28 |
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Troll slayer Zak Gempicker met his fate
In his 84th game, FUMBBL's 5th all-time oldest troll slayer in the Ranked division, Zak "El Caota" Gempicker found an unexpected and hardly glorious death. After he had survived several deadly blows in the past, among them a hit by Morg 'N' Thorg himself, a rookie skaven lineman killed him on a common block.
Team and staff were stunned after the game, no-one was able to tell what exactly had happened in the middle of the throng.
Bingi: "I... I saw him on the grass. I gave him a swift kick, yelled at him. He did not respond... 'Zak!' I shouted, 'Zak, get up!' - but he didn't. He always got back up..."
When apothecary Silverstaff arrived, there was nothing he could do: "I guess saving two slayers' lives in one match would have been too much to ask..."
Zak will be gravely missed.
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zakatan
Joined: May 17, 2008
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Feb 16, 2014 - 23:26 |
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NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO |
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Rabe
Joined: Jun 06, 2009
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Feb 17, 2014 - 00:28 |
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Dhaktokh
Joined: Sep 16, 2006
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Feb 17, 2014 - 00:45 |
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Dhaktokh
Joined: Sep 16, 2006
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Feb 17, 2014 - 00:46 |
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Ps, check their first skill. You know I found something extraordinary, right? |
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Rabe
Joined: Jun 06, 2009
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Feb 17, 2014 - 09:33 |
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Sounds interesting - and I have yet to take Hail Mary Pass indeed. Wanted to get it on a blocker. I guess I'm too conservative.  I'll watch the replay eventually! |
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Dhaktokh
Joined: Sep 16, 2006
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Feb 17, 2014 - 09:45 |
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Rabe
Joined: Jun 06, 2009
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Feb 21, 2014 - 23:47 |
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Dalandis looking for a successful team to sit in on offensive coordination
Offensive Coordinator Dalandis has withdrawn from training for now. He stated he'd look out for one of the most successful teams out there to allow him to work as an assistant coach for a couple of games. Working in another environment would give him a whole knew perspective and surely let him improve the Monsters' attack tactics.
Rumors have it that head coach Rabe, getting more and more upset with the team's performance on offensive play, considers replacing Dalandis. The elf has been working on the team staff for more than 100 games now.
Interested in temporarily hiring Dalandis? Contact head coach Rabe or Dalandis himself!
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Xovor: The Monsters' hardest hitter?
Xovor "Fanatic" Leadfist has only played 12 games for the Monsters so far, but has caused some notable havoc:
In his fourth game he crippled Pig Sty Alley's Landlady, who was immediately retired by coach Chainsaw.
In his tenth game he smashed Bowl and Chain's badge-hunting assassin, who retired a couple of games later with neither any further injuries nor having acquired his goal to kill two opponents on a single multi-stab.
Finally, in his 12th game, he badly hurt Death is Forever's legendary General DeathSkull on turn one, spoiling the wight's 150th anniversary match (as he was hit too hard to regenerate).
While Xovor certainly holds back with casualties (only three in forty blocks) and Grimbald still leads the Monsters' internal top list with 22 casualties, the currently youngest blocker certainly impresses with his selection of victims.
Who will be next?
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Cheerleaders travel the world
Since head coach Rabe has confirmed that the Monsters won't play any tournaments soon, the team's three cheerleaders decided to take some time off and roam the old world on their own. They promised to be back in time for the next major.
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the_Sage
Joined: Jan 13, 2011
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Feb 22, 2014 - 00:43 |
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Ooh, it was you who removed that pesky little ass. Well done, mate. =D |
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Rabe
Joined: Jun 06, 2009
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Mar 29, 2014 - 09:37 |
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Agility Monsters renewal, part 1: Goodbyes
The Monsters' lineup has undergone major changes over the last couple of weeks. A quick summery of who team and fans had to say goodbye to:
Bingi Greasearmor was killed by an orc in her 45th game. In about 25 games she had developed into one of the finest throwers the Monsters ever had. She set a new record in passing yards (overtaking the legendary Aegil Ironbones) and will be dearly missed.
After 60 games for the team, Indroschim Thunderbrew announced his retirement: "It's about time. I can't keep up with the pace of the game anymore. The Monsters are going through a renewal anyway... Oh, and in that last match, I finally managed my first complete pass - good times and a fitting end!" The departing blocker stated that he'd hit the road now as a wandering bard - and look out for talented players along the way.
Ambo Silenthammer also left, after apothecary Silverstaff had diagnosed him a niggling injury. "I'm battered" he said. "But I'll be back!" After some consultation with different physicians in Altdorf, he decided to start his regeneration at a renown health resort in Bretonnia. He has played 78 games for the Agility Monsters so far.
Bornar "Firehurler" Runeblade left the team after he broke his neck on a failed attempt to go for it. His comment: "Hell, life is dangerous! If I kill myself, I can actually do it with something even more fun than playing Blood Bowl..." It has been verified that he has applied to several collages of magic all over the old world. He promised he'd be "of support" for the Monsters when needed.
"Sir" Torak Hellbound was killed by a skeleton boot in his 13th game - the same game he finally reached a new level of skill. Rumor has it that coach Arktoris and his Charioteers had an extra keg or three to honor the reckless dwarf.
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Rhoda seriously injured and in critical state
After 138 games and countless minor injuries, legendary runner Rhoda has finally suffered a severe one in a devastating game against Cryptic Apocalypse. Apothecary Silverstaff: "She has taken serious back damage. She was actually quite lucky, it could easily have ended even worse without my immediate treatment. Nonetheless, she'll probably remain more vulnerable then she used to be." Head coach Rabe seems surprisingly optimistic: "There are ways and means to restore an important players such as Rhoda. We shall see!"
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Brumbas celebrates 175th game with a touchdown
With a pass caught in the endzone, Brumbas lately set two personal milestones at once: He scored his fifth touchdown and played his 175th game. FUMBBL's all-time oldest dwarf remained modest: "You know, I just play on. I love the sport, I love the team and I am deeply thankful for Nuffle's kindness. My goals? Well, maybe another 25 games... and another touchdown?" (laughs)
Congratulations, Brumbas!
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