Apojar
Joined: Aug 05, 2006
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 Posted:
Mar 01, 2016 - 03:47 |
 
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CHEFCTER: We are back, NBFL fans. You're watching the Season 16 edition of the NBFL Draft Review and Analysis Show. I'm your host, Stabbem Chefcter.
If you're just tuning in, we've been speaking about the first 14 picks of the off-season draft, many of which have been received well by the folks here at Blood Sports Daily Network, or BSDN. We've begun a new feature this year, where we'll bring in one of the veteran coaches in for a quick sit-down to discuss the last grouping of draftees, just so we can get an “insider view†as to what the new players have to offer, or what teams are searching for in their prospects. For this group of draftees, we're honored to welcome another of our long-tenured Coaches in the NBFL, please welcome Kryten to the program. How's it going, Coach? Stabbem Chefcter here.
KRYTEN: Thanks for having me on the show. It was a late night of analysis for our upcoming match against Oakland, but coffee should carry me through.
CHEFCTER: Coach, we know you're busy, so thank you very much for dropping by. Give us an idea of what goes through the mind of a franchise when they're looking for their next player of the future.
KRYTEN: First and foremost, we look to fill in the gaps in our lineup when drafting. Talented Blitzers are at the top of the list, followed by a reliable Ogre. Our standards are rigorous, and if the right star is unavailable, we select a solid Lineman to help win the battle for the pitch.
CHEFCTER: Without giving too much away, what's the key to, to be forward, keeping your job? Coaches have come and gone, but the front office of San Diego has been thrilled to have you stay on as long as you have. What's the secret?
KRYTEN: My tenure has been blessed with two extraordinary throwers in Fouts and Leaf. Their production has ensured a steady supply of touchdowns, so I focus on strong defense to stay in every match.
CHEFCTER: Kryten, you've seen the last 8 players that came off the board. Tell us which team you think scored the best pick for their squad.
KRYTEN: Denvork's selection of Jonathan Anderson is critical to their success or failure in their debut season. We view him as the player to watch in our division - if he is unsuccessful, his squad will sink to the bottom. Expect us to foul him early!
CHEFCTER: The Head Coach of the San Dogo Chompers, Kryten. Thank you very much for joining us today.
KRYTEN: Glad to be here. We'll be checking the week one tapes for Denvork to see how Anderson is getting on, and what we can do to stop him.
We also mentioned that we'll be answering some questions from Spitter, our social media network of choice. Here's a question that was Spit at us from @BallahFromRolla. He asks us, “Who should we look at for the top of the NBFL rankings this year? What are the chances of Green Ball winning again? How far will Anthony Mooredeath go?†#Rolla
It's a few questions in one, but we'd like to talk about all of it. Let's start with the latter portion.
To no one's real surprise, Anthony Mooredeath was the first overall draft pick in Season 16, coming out of Rolla with Dodge, Sure Hands, Pass Block, and 2 counts of (+AG). He is a jaw-dropping talent. His new team, Keggie City, is rather young, but developing nicely. There's going to be a lot asked of him early on, as the team around him develops. We expect him to play a large role in the future success of Keggie City, as well as having a bearing on the way the AFC West shakes down.
For part 2 of our answer, we'll tackle the possibility of a 3-time repeat out of Green Ball. My goodness, this team is good. They are extremely well-coached by happygrue. They are disciplined. They all know their respective roles on the team. These guys are the model franchise to follow for new squads attempt to join the NBFL.
But that is how they've been in the past, as well as their current state. Our question deals specifically with the future. Well, as none of us are true prognosticators, we thought we'd invite another coach to weigh in on the possibility. It is our pleasure, NBFL fans, to welcome the head coach of the Philhala Arni, Coach Relezite. Coach, Stabbem Chefcter here. Good to have you on board today.
RELEZITE: Good to be here, Stabbem.
CHEFCTER: Coach, your team has been the prime competition in the past few seasons to this Green Ball dynasty in the making. Can you give us an idea of what makes them so difficult to account for, let alone defeat?
RELEZITE: Coach Happygrue is a positional mastermind. He is possessed of that particularly rare ability to actually think about the game several turns in advance. He often knows what the opposing coach wants to do better than they do themselves, and he takes control of those critical positions in advance. Also he might be wielding the dark arts, but who isn't these days? Point being, Slann are one of the most position-dependent races in this game and he plays that aspect to the highest possible level. It's frustrating and makes the rest of us look lazy.
CHEFCTER: You're saying you're not lazy?
RELEZITE: That's beside the point.
CHEFCTER: Coach, the question that came to us from Spitter is: What are the chances of Green Ball winning again? So, give it to us straight, sir. What do you feel are their chances of taking the NFC for a third straight year?
RELEZITE: Ah, well, New York broke up their streak in season 14 actually, but it was a dull year. I don't blame you for not watching. Most impressive to me, aside from their 3 Super Bowl wins is that they have won their division 7 years running. They are healthy and strong, so I see no reason why this year will be any different. High odds on entering the playoffs with a bye. That said, however, I give them vastly reduced odds at taking the NFC this year.
CHEFCTER: Oh? Why is that?
RELEZITE: The last two years one of the best coaches in the game has been keeping me from meeting coach Happygrue in the playoffs. Now that the blood suckers are out of the picture, my boys will be serving complimentary frog legs in the next NFC Championship game.
CHEFCTER: Coach Relezite of Philhala, thank you very much for joining us.
RELEZITE: May we meet again at the gates of Philhala.
And now, for part three of the question: Who can we expect at the top of the NBFL rankings this year? According to the folks doing power rankings at BSDN, here's the good (or bad) news for those in each conference...
NFC
Wild card qualifiers – Carolina, Minnesota
Division Winners: Philhala, Green Ball, Atlanta, Arizona
AFC
Wild Card Qualifiers – Miami, Pittsburgh
Division Winners: New Angryland, Cincinnati, Indianapolis, San Dogo
We would like to leave it at that, in hopes of adding some further analysis down there road in a future segment.
For now folks, keep those questions coming! We'll be answering more as we continue our countdown to 32! Let's get back to our draft analysis...
Our 15th pick last season belonged to the runner-ups in the ultra-competitive AFC West...
15. SAN DOGO
Race: Human
Player Selected: Chris James (Gardiner Webb)
Skills: Block, Guard, Dodge – 31 pts
Position: Lineman
Grade of Pick: B
This squad should be familiar to every single fan of the NBFL. They are the epitome of success, as well as “doing more with lessâ€. Compared to nearly every other roster out there, it's an uphill battle for Humans. These guys have been around since the early days. They've enjoyed serious success in the past, and continue to fight, every single season, for the Division Championship. In fact, I cannot remember a season in all of the seasons of the NBFL where San Dogo hasn't finished in one of the top two positions in the AFC West.
This isn't really a roster that has experienced an enormous amount of turnover. That's a tribute both to the Head Coach, as well as the strength and conditioning staff. They have done an other-worldly job in keeping some of these players functioning and performing at a top level. Let us see who is signed on the roster, and offer some insight as to where some help would be most welcomed.
BLITZER: It's most probable, yes. They are permitted to employ 4 of them. 2 of them are somewhat young, one is a Rookie, leaving Karst Hadl as “Old Reliableâ€. A decent player here would certainly help to fill a Rookie hole.
CATCHER: Very unlikely, but remotely possible. The front office usually employs 2 at a time, though they are permitted 4. The two that are on the squad right now, Helen Imaman and Chris Growlkowski, are dynamic, game-changing players. There won't be any improvement to be made over them.
LINEMAN: I would honestly have to say no in this case, despite our usual philosophy of always offering core improvement. There are already 7 players employed, with only 1 of them being a Rookie. Improvement here IS possible, but with the depth at this position, it seems like it would be a lot less of a priority.
OGRE: I would normally say yes, but... There seems to be this superstition... almost a hex if you will, around this team. It honestly seems to those oberserving from a distance that Nuffle simply will not allow this team to have an Ogre, whether he's a seasoned Veteran, a pure Rookie, or somewhere in between. The position, unexplainably, seems to suffer constant injury and death. It really IS a good and somewhat important positional for a Human squad to have, as he can absorb some of the hits meant for the smaller players on the roster. It's just been an unfortunate circumstance the front office has NOT been able to draft an Ogre that has been able to stay on the pitch. Just dumb luck, but people around the league, the team's fans, even some folks here at BSDN, have bought into the theory that San Dogo is doomed to be “Ogreless†until they win the NBFL title. Nobody can prove either way the statement's validity, but it does make for some interesting tall tales...
THROWER: No. Not here. Nobody can explain why or how, but Ryan Leaf is STILL playing. It's been widely rumored that he has some form of magical elixir, named “Gore-Locoâ€, that allows him to play well into the latter years of his life. There's really no other reasoning as to how he's able to play so effectively for so long. The team is permitted to add a second Thrower to the squad, but it certainly doesn't seem necessary.
Our two best possibilities for positions here will be either a Blitzer or, if we're feeling like thumbing our noses at Nuffle, an Ogre.
As we breeze through the Blitzer section of the draft guide, there are still a couple of excellent prospects available. The leading candidate seems to be CJ Bradshaw, out of Old Dominion. He comes out of college with Mighty Blow, Tackle, Piling On, and Guard, with 60 points. He would certainly add some welcomed extra beef to the front line.
San Dogo, however, has other ideas.
They're willng to pass on a Blitzer and an Ogre. The team selects an excellent support Lineman in Chris James. A quiet groan can be heard among the Chompers faithful, as it's not a sexy pick, and they'd be correct in saying that. Should they be disappointed? Well, it really depends. If you're looking for a pick with a lot of confetti and fanfare, then you're certain to be down on this pick. If you're someone who has the patience to watch your team built by slow, steady, time-tested methods, this pick won't seem as bad to you.
James is, by far, the best support player that is available in this draft. He'll prove to be a bit harder than normal to deal with, having Dodge and Guard on board. He is a quality player for anyone in the league.
But is he the right fit here in San Dogo? BSDN's analysis seems to feel his value here will be diminshed.
There's quite a glut of Linemen on the squad already. Adding yet another quality Lineman without addressing the needs of the Blitzer position seems like the team is adding to an already strong category. It's a good player, but it does not really address the area where the most need was or is. The good points are that it adds to an already deep portion of the team. It also keeps a rival from drafting support.
It's a good player. In fact, it's a very good player. We here at BSDN, however, just don't feel like the more pressing needs of the team were addressed with this pick.
Let's move on to our 16th pick from last season, which happened to belong to some.... boys?... from the AFC North.
16. CLEVELAND
Race: Necromantic
Player Selected: Elisha Olabode (TCU)
Skills: Wrestle, Tackle, Strip Ball – 42 pts
Position: Ghoul
Grade of Pick: F
EDITOR'S NOTE: At the time this segment was produced and filmed, the NBFL's suspension for this franchise had not been announced to the media.
With the dominance of Cincinnati these past two seasons, it's been a shame that the media hasn't spent more time covering this franchise. The Dog Pound is a very well-constructed franchise up top. The positionals are nicely developed. None of them have less than 2 skills. It's a very nice team that's forming.
As we look at the roster, however, we believe you'll see some glaring holes that need to be addressed.
Let's look.
FLESH GOLEM: No. The two gentlemen employed, Flay Matthews and Floyd Womack, are more than average for the position. There's no need to seek improvement here.
GHOUL: YES. This is an area of desperate need for the club. They currently don't have one empolyed on the squad. This would be a great place to find a ball-handler for the squad, so the Werewolves can be up front removing the opposition. This is a high area of need.
WEREWOLF: No. Both of these guys are heavy hitters. With the lack of quality ball-handling from other players on the squad, both Jim Brown and Mike Junkin have been pressed into double duty. Both of these guys are set up for demolishing their opponents. There's no improvement that will be made over those two players via the draft.
WIGHT: No. With Webstar Slaughter and Oz Newsome on the squad, there's no need to seek improvement in this position. Their skills translate over nicely to what is asked of them.
ZOMBIE: YES. Somewhat desperately, too. With 6 players on the squad, and only 2 skills among them (both of which are Dirty Player), there is no depth within the core of the squad. There is certainly a large need for improvement in this area of the team.
So, we've peek at the roster, and as you can clearly see, we have two glaring holes that we need to address; a Ghoul and a Zombie. We'll be looking for the best player from either the Linemen or the Skilled sections.
Deep within the Linemen section, a former graduate still awaits a home in the likes of L. Waddle. He graduated a few semesters ago from Texas Tech, coming out of school with Block and Kick. He also graduated at the top of his sporting class, which will allow him to come into the league with some special training of a skill that isn't normally available to him. We here at BSDN would highly suggest training him as a Guard, making him an excellent support player. He would also provide a Kicking game, which is somewhat important for slower squads. Waddle would be a rather valuable asset to this team.
We still have to search through the Skilled section, in hopes of finding a quality Ghoul. In the various candidates awaits Hi-C Scott, who not only has Block, but also comes with some extra movement. He's also relatively close to gaining his next skill, which could be Sure Hands. He could be an ideal ball-carrier, allowing the Werewolves to focus on clearing a path. He would also be an excellent addition.
The front office looks at the available players, and elects to draft Elisha Olabode, a Ghoul out of TCU. We here at BSDN did not care for this pick at all.
Olabode would be a player that you would want to use for blitzing, since you want him to use Strip Ball. On a Necromantic squad, you really want the Frenzy'ing Werewolves doing almost all your blitzing. Leaving your blitz action to a player that has no real offensive-minded skills diminishes the effectiveness of the action, with the exception of that one time where you have to Strip the carrier. This is also provided that the carrier doesn't have Sure Hands.
A case could honestly be made for either player that BSDN has mentioned. Olabode, however, does not really fill any of the holes or needs that the team has. The front office has elected to draft the correct position, but really missed out on filling the important gaps it had to address. This was an unfortunate miss for this club.
Stay tuned, NBFL fans! There's much more fun in store. We're now through half of the teams from the Sesaon 16 draft class. In our next segment, we'll make another stop into the firestorm of the NFC East. We'll also finally stop back at our favorite punching bags, located at the depths of the AFC South. You won't want to miss it! Stick around! |
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Apojar
Joined: Aug 05, 2006
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Mar 08, 2016 - 00:07 |
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CHEFCTER: We are back, NBFL fans! Welcome back to BSDN's pride and joy, the NBFL Draft Review and Analysis Show. I am your host Stabbem Chefcter, hosting alone this season, as we patiently await the return of devoted NBFL enthusiast and spokesman for the Hello Kitty Home Heating Boiler Company, Mr. Kill Wiper Jr.
If you're just joining us, we've been discussing the draft picks of the first 16 teams of the league, meaning we're exactly at the half way point. We're inching closer to last season's playoff squads, all of which offered us a lot of excitement and thrills.
We're also still inviting the fans to Spit those questions at us via our social media network Spitter. You can ask us anything about your favorite NBFL topics. Your favorite teams, coaches, mascots, traditions, anything at all that we can dig up for you. We'll put our best effort forward to get you the inside information you want about your favorite teams.
We've received a question or two more, which we'll be addressing in a future segment. For now, let's get back to talking about some quality clubs in the NBFL!
Our 17th pick this off-season was a slightly odd situation. We'll explain.
17. MALICE
Race: Chaos Dwarf
Player Selected: Eric Blunte (California)
Skills: Block, Sure Hands, Break Tackle, (+AG) – 52 pts
Position: Bull Centaur
Grade of Pick: A+
This is a brand new squad for the NBFL this season... kinda. The front office and the coaching staff remains the same. The entire ownership board had a large meeting after a few years of limited success. They made some hard decisions about the path of their franchise, but they feel that they are now on a better course.
They began by firing the strength and conditioning coaches, accusing them of “being more of ballet choreographers than strength guysâ€. Next, the team re-designed its logo and slogans printed in the dressing rooms and around the stadium. This took all the players by surprise, with new creeds about brute physical strength and administering punishment.
This was not nearly in the MO of the players, who requested a meeting with the ownership. All the players were given ample time for the airing of grievances, which were taken into consideration by the front office. The response came back quickly and firmly. BSDN has obtained a copy of the letter sent out to all the players:
* Yer all fired. Clean up, and git out.
XOXO
This was a complete shock to fans and players alike. The team was completely wiped clean, with the only remainders being the Coaching staff, whom ownership has had great confidence in. The players all went into the dressing room, packed up their stuff for the final time, and left the stadium, hoping that someday, another NBFL squad will give them an opportunity.
Enter the new roster: a group of extremely physical Chaos Dwarves. They love to grind. They hit. They foul. They have a strong running game, something which this franchise has lacked for a number of years, as they had been focused on primarily passing.
The new squad will still be coached by an excellent Head Coach in the person of OTS. Beginning from scratch, he can primarily draft the best player he sees available for his Chaos Dwarves.
The staff analyzes the players that are available, and quickly selects Eric Blunte out of California. This is nearly a dream come true for OTS. Bull Centaurs are the workhorses of Chaos Dwarf squads. It's often said that and extra agile Bull is a gift from Nuffle himself. Blunte is a beauty. He is a fantastic player for this position whose skills translate perfectly over to the team.
It may seem like this is a short review for the new team in the NFC East, but the pick is just ideal. We'll also nominate this pick for the Swipe of the draft. For remote communications over your desktop or laptop computers, take a Swipe at someone you love today!
Our 18th pick is our old, favorite targets for any jokes or criticism that we can muster up. I don't know if we can continue to keep coming up with new joke material, as we've pretty much railed on them for everything we could possibly think of...
18. JACKSONVILLE
Race: Chaos Pact
Player Selected: Marcus Mallet – (TCU)
Skills: Gurad, Mighty Blow, Tackle – 32 pts
Position: Marauder
Grade of Pick: C
This is our third season of getting to make fun of this team. Their first season certainly gave us a LOT of fodder, putting up a staggering 1-win season. Last year, they managed to put up a few more points. As much as we like to make fun of them, they're going in the right direction, developing and building talent though solid drafting.
Beyond all reason, the front office and ownership of this franchise continues to employ Head Coach Apojar to lead its team into battle week after week. He's one of those coaches who have been around since the doors opened, though he's found himself travelling to varous destinations, having been in Arizona, New York, Houston, and beginning his career way back when in St. Louis.
For as much smack that we talk on this program, we previously mentioned that the squad is going in the correct direction. We'll now break down the roster and show you just how the team is stacked, and where we can recommend filling areas of need.
CHAOS OGRE: No. This is the position that Tim Fugger occupies. He is, arguably, one of the top Big Guys in all the NBFL. This is not the place to look to improve.
CHAOS TROLL: No. Another of the good, developing players on this team is Chris Killer. This could be one of the better one-two tandems to serve on a team's front line since the hay-days of the Atlatl 'n Falchions “Super-6â€. There won't be any improvement needed here.
DARK ELF RENEGADE: Perhaps. Having lost former draft pick Metzli to death last season, the squad hasn't brought a new player up to speed as rapidly as they've hoped. Allen Robinson is making progress, but he's not at the level that the squad would like him at just yet. It's possible that this could be an area for improvement.
GOBLIN RENEGADE: This is a possibility, yes. Chad Henne is still a Rookie. The issue here is that the position is not nearly the most vital on the squad. It IS important, but is it worth using a draft choice on at this point? The front office for the club will have to assess this, but it is an area that we could label as “needing improvementâ€.
SKAVEN RENEGADE: I would probably say no. Toby Gerhart is a young player in the role as is stands. He's only 1 point away from a new skill, but he's seeminly been there for decades. Is this his own doing? No. The front office has been critical in the past of head coach Apojar for never finding the right way to use the Renegades on the squad. Gerhart does have an opportunity to become a very reliable contributor if he would just be given some pitch time. Most every drive finds him riding the pine. If he could find some playing time, it seems very possible that he can become a nice compliment to the rest of the squad.
MARAUDER: This is the heart of the franchise; the gears that make everything turn. There is a healthy mix of support and removal here. It's a good base to build on. There's always room for more, however, if a good supporting player comes along.
MINOTAUR: I doubt it. The team has leaned on Ziggy Hood since the franchise began. He's been developing at a steady pace, so percentages would lead you to think that he's on the right path. No need to really search here for improvement.
Having gone through the team, the needs seem to be either a Dark Elf Renegade, a Goblin Renegade, or a Marauder. That leaves us 3 sections of the Draft Guide to look through. Let's look at who would be the best player available in each section.
Linemen – Tyler Fairroll – Wrestle, Strip Ball, (+AG) – 48 pts
Skilled – Devin O'Hara – Accurate, Safe Throw, (+AG) – 31 pts
Blitzer – Larry Smtih – Block, Mighty Blow, Tackle – 44 pts
A Lineman or a Blitzer would have to be a Marauder. A Skilled player could be one of the Renegades. One thing this team desperately lacks is a ball handler. They have the support in place to be able to protect him. They have the removal in place in Foster and Charles Folger. They now need someone to carry the rock.
Already being an agility position, the wisest thing we can see is to draft Devin O'Hara as a Dark Elf Renegade. Coming out of the back field with the ability for a team to throw an accurate pass in a pinch anywhere on the field on a 3+ is a fantastic luxury to have for Chaos Pact. With all the protection they can offer him, it seems like a very nice fit for this club, even with the Animosity. You can live with the nega-trait when you bring a player with AG5 to the table.
Jacksonville instead selects Marcus Mallet, a support Marauder, who comes out of college with Gurad, Mighty Blow, and Tackle. Based on their previous drafting principles, we can see why they would go this way.
In the previous drafts, they have always sought to support their existing stars. They tend NOT to draft stars; they choose to develop them. Drafting Mallet adds a nice compliment to the team's front line, while having enough skill to add to his own repertoire. He's there to pick up a few points along the way, but allow the Big Guys and Foster to perform the lion's share of the work.
It's a good pick, but it's not a GREAT pick. We can see the reasoning for their choice, but they've COMPLETELY missed addressing what is the obvious glaring need for the club. We wanted to find out if there was anything further into the theory of their draft pick, so with what seems to be a yearly custom now, we've invited the Head Coach of the Jacksonville franchise to join us on the program. Welcome once again, Apojar. Stabbem Chefcter here.
APOJAR: I'm surprised you guys wanted me to come back on the show this season, seeing as how you were all a bunch of douches to me last year...
CHEFCTER: I'm sure that was nothing personal... Coach, how are you feeling about your chances this season? As much as we make fun of the franchise, it sure appears that you have them going in the correct direction.
APOJAR: The players hadn't totally bought in to the squad's philosophy in the past. As such, we've tried to alter our drafting scheme to bring in more of the types of players we have been searching for: all-around players that can be on the front line, but also fade back into a supporting role when asked. If you're not willing to play as a team player, we're not going to want you.
CHEFCTER: Coach, what's it like trying to compete in the AFC South? It's been top-heavy the past few seasons. How do you begin throwing your hat in the ring?
APOJAR: Everyone needs to be working toward a common goal. For a good portion of time in the beginning, our stars were out there working for themselves. Foster wanted nothing but to rip into opponents. No concept of defense. The only player we had that wanted to take on all the work was Tim Fugger. He's been our top performer. If we're able to get more people to follow Tim, the team will begin to come together as a unit, rather than a gathering of stars playing for their own future contracts which, by some players' own designs, won't be with Jacksonville in the future...
CHEFCTER: So, you're saying it's your way or the highway?
APOJAR: It has to be, Stabbem. We're a professional NBFL squad, not kindergarten. Our fans count on us to be competitive every year. So far, it's been slow going, to say the very least, but we're at least building for a long, productive future.
CHEFCTER: What do you say to those fans? You've posted a total of 4 wins in 2 years now? Do they have a reason to hope?
APOJAR: Our draft pick this season, Marcus Mallet, has a bright, long, successful future ahead of him. We feel he has the potential to develop much like Foster has, but with an enormous bonus. He comes to us out of school with Tackle, Mighty Blow, and the unbelievably rare skill of Gurad. We don't even fully know what exactly the skill is or does, but when we saw it in the player's write-up in the Draft Guide, we wanted to be the absolute first in the NBFL to draft a player with it.
CHEFCTER: Coach.... you DO know that the skill is Guard, right? It was just mis-typed in the Draft Guide...
APOJAR: It is?... * sounds of the phone being put down, then a long pause is heard, followed by yelling in the background. The Coach can be heard yelling at his staff, “It's only Guard? Are you people CENSORED kidding me?!? You make me look like a CENSORED idiot!!! The Head Coach is then heard rustling around, as he returns to the phone interview*
CHEFCTER: Apojar? You still with us?
APOJAR: Yes, I'm here, Stabbem.
CHEFCTER: Coach, why not draft a ball handler here? It seems blatantly obvious that you are in need of someone to reliably control the scoring for your club.
APOJAR: We had desperately wanted to have Chris Clemons perform the ball-handling duties. We felt that his extra strength would make it that much more difficult to relieve him of the ball. When he was approached about the opportunity, however, he hobbled around the practice squad, yelling out "ME ANKLE'S BROKE!". We all thought he was just faking it, but he hasn't stopped limping around in practice time, which has really seemed to slow him up. So, we had decided to look for another player, but didn't want a Renegade with Animosity handling the ball, as it was a chance we were just not comfortable taking.
CHEFCTER: So Coach, how do you see your season shaping up, as well as the breakdown or prediction for the AFC South?
APOJAR: Well, let's begin with the prediction. I feel as though this could be a season where we make some strides forward, but I'm not sure the squad is ready just yet to make that push toward a post-season birth. Having said that, we see the fearsome squad in Indianapolis taking the division crown. We really hope to make a good run at Tennessee this season, but dealing with Hearthstone isn't a project that anyone really WANTS to tackle.... We feel that a good portion of this coming season will depend on the confidence we can draw off of having to play against Slann on three occasions this year. It's no secret that we've yet to defeat a Frogchise on any level of competition. If we can have strong showings against them, perhaps taking 3 or more points out of the meetings, we'll develop a bit of confidence going forward. If we come out of them 0-3, I'd venture that we'll be talking at the beginning of the next Season's draft, as you've ridiculed me in the past for...
CHEFCTER: Coach Apojar of the Jacksonville Pactuars, as always, thank you very much for joining us on the program.
APOJAR: Thank you, Stabbem. My best to Mr. Wiper if you speak to him.
CHEFCTER: I'll pass that along, Coach. Thank you.
Well, fans, you've heard from them again. Based on what you just listened to from their organization, we here at BSDN feel safe in predicting that we'll be seeing Jacksonville drafting in the top 5 once again next season. For Nuffle's sake, the guy doesn't even know that Gurad wasn't a real skill for his player coming out of college. What kind of chance do you think those poor prospects have that get drafted by this franchise??? Hopefully now, you all can see why BSDN considers this team the laughing stock, the punching bag, the running joke of the NBFL.
You've now heard about the first 17 teams, and 1 joke, of the NBFL draft last season. In our next segment, we'll be delving into one team that barely missed the playoff cut last season, as well as the first of our teams from last season's post-season. Stick around, folks. You won't want to miss it! |
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Apojar
Joined: Aug 05, 2006
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Mar 31, 2016 - 01:28 |
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CHEFCTER: We have returned, NBFL fans! Welcome back to the Season 16 edition of the NBFL Draft Review and Analysis Show. I'm your host, Mr. Stabbem Chefcter. We are cotinuing on this season without my usual co-host and reigning hula-hoop champion, Mr. Kill Wiper Jr.... man, that guy is really well-rounded.
If you're just joining us, we've been breaking down last season's draft picks to offer grades for each team, based on filling of their needs, and how the player will incorporate into the franchise's philosophy. We've already discussed the first 18 teams from last season, with another 14 remaining.
We're also trying to answer our fan's burning questions that they may ask us through our social media network Spitter. Don't be afraid to Spit those questions at us! We may even read yours on the air!
For now, let's return to talkin' turkey, by undertaking the dissection of last season's 19th team, and their draft pick.
19. DETROILET
Race: Nurgle
Player Selected: Larry Smith (Florida)
Skills: Block, Mighty Blow, Tackle – 44 pts
Position: Nurgle Warrior
Grade of Pick: B
This squad from the Motor City is the home of one of the NBFL's all-time greatest ball-handlers, Marcus Easley. Rarely, if ever, has the league had a 50-touchdown player, an incredible feat for anyone that isn't a Gutter Runner.
It's somewhat unfortunate that this team doesn't get nearly the media attention it deserves, as these guys have been eclipsed by the dominance of division rival Green Ball for a number of seasons. These guys may be some of the most annoying, frustrating opponents to play against, with such lovely skills as Disturbing Presence, Foul Appearance, and what feels like a multitude of Blodge. Even if you do manage to get a block in, the chances of putting them in the dirt aren't stellar...
This squad is very nicely developed, but let's see if there's any room to add some help from the college ranks.
BEAST OF NURGLE: No. Sean Brown is on the squad, and he's a solid player. There won't be any improvement to draft at this point.
NURGLE WARRIOR: It's an outside possibility, but not really necessary. The four players that are on the squad are all rather accomplished, though 2 of them are dinged up a bit. If there's a great player available, it would be worth considering.
PESTIGOR: I wouldn't think so, no.The four players on the squad are excellent. There won't be any form of improvement to come out of the draft over this bunch of stars.
ROTTER: Yes. There is certainly room to improve at this position, but it's a bit more of a chance than most teams. Rotters come with Decay, making their every movement a bit dicier than most players. If there's a quality player available, it may outweigh the risks.
With the way the roster looks, we are looking for a high-quality Rotter or a Nurgle Warrior.
Thumbing through the Lineman section, we come across a few possibilities. One of the better choices here may be Harold Coldrock out of Oregon, coming with Dodge and Guard. He fits into the overall scheme that Coach Lorebass has been seeking out; effective players that end up with Blodge, making them extremely difficult to deal with.
Add a bit of Guard into his equation, and you begin to see the beginning of a very nice support player.
Now, let's take a look at the Strength section. Seeing as how there is only one player remaining, let's discuss the merits of Larry Smith as he would pertain to the Sewer Lions.
There are four players already in place on the team, so we'll first have to decide who would be cut, and then see if it's an improvement, or a step back.
Both Nick Fairley and Chris Warner are very dynamic players, despite Warner's lingering injuries. Neither of these players should or would be of any benefit to replace with this draft pick.
Next would be former draft pick Nori Shiima. He also has a lingering injury from a season or so ago. His skill set is just slightly different than that of Smith's, with the latter being a bit more offensive-oriented.
The last of the four would be former draft pick Taylor Loftley. He's slightly younger, but fits closer into the mold that Lorebass desires out of his players. He's healthy, and close to being the club's 5th Blodger.
If we had to decide that one of these players was to be replaced, we would have to say that it would be Shiima. His skill set is not anything out of the ordinary, which would be “easier†to replace. The trade-off here is this: a slightly more mobile player with Break Tackle, or a more hard-hitting player with Mighty Blow. The other extenuating factor is that Shiima has a pesky injury that never seems to heal.
The front office assesses their chances, and decides to draft Larry Smith, electing to replace Shiima, as we had predicted. We here at BSDN are ok with this selection. It improves the health of the squad, and offers them a bit more offensive capability on a team which seriously lacks it.
The honest truth here, as unfortunate as it is, for Detroilet, is that the fans, no matter who is drafted, will not stand and applaud for the choice. There isn't a real “sexy†player left for the Sewer Lions to draft that would effectively address the needs that the squad has. In short, there's no “A+†pick to be made here. We do feel, however, a solid pick was made here. It's not nearly as lateral a move as some draft picks have seemed to be.
We at BSDN graded this pick the way we did due to the percentage of upgrade that the club received here. We simply felt that upgrading the lacking depth of the Rotter position may have offered a greater percentage of assistance than upgrading the Nurgle Warrior position. It does not truly reflect any formal mathematical formula, or even take much into account the more tangible aspects of the scenario, such as the retiring player's injury. In short, it was a good pick, and arguably may be the right pick to make, when there's no “great†pick to be made here. That's a nice problem to have, as it means that this team is fairly well-rounded, having few holes or needs to address.
Our 20th pick belonged to a perennial Playoff squad who shockingly didn't qualify last season, due to a slew of injuries befalling the players.
20. PHILHALA
Race: Norsemen
Player Selected: Devin O'Hara (Western Illinois)
Skills: Accurate, Safe Throw, (+AG) – 31 pts
Position: Thrower
Grade of Pick: A
It's hard to imagine it, but last season, there was an NFC Playoff tournament that didn't have Philhala in it. These boys are the real deal. This has been a top-notch franchise for a number of years now, which begins with their Head Coach Relezite. These boys are a proto-typical power unit. They hit you over and over until finally, players don't get up. The front line of this team could, arguably, draw comparisons to some of those great front lines of the past from teams like Atlatl, Miami, and the old school Chicago Bares.
There's only one oddity to the history of Philhala. In all their time of existence, they have yet to employ a Catcher. Never. When you get down to thinking about it, that's pretty impressive. Even in emergency situations where they HAVE to throw that ball, they've never employed anyone at the position.
Let's add another small bit of history. The franchise has employed exactly 2 Throwers. They are extremely selective at the position, as the two they have employed, Cucuracha Petterflet and Thorarinn Jamskeggasson were two of the best ball-handlers the NBFL has ever seen.
There is a bit of a reason for the lack of positionals, and its name is Chris Harison. He is absolutely dreamy. All 31 other coaches in the league would easily fork over 240,000 gold pieces in salary to have him on their squad. He's been the “everything†for scoring for this team, easily leading them in both Completions and Touchdowns. Add Pass Block and 6 Interceptions into his array, and you have a player that you simply have to account for, wherever he is on the pitch.
Don't be fooled, however. This team is far from being “Harison and Friendsâ€. There are quite a few talented players on this team, so let's see where we can offer them some help.
SNOW TROLL: Not a chance. The NBFL's top Big Guy is here in Thorlakr Thorgeirson. He leads the team in Casualties, so he's asked to carry the load up front. There is certainly no chance of improving through the draft here.
BERSERKER: No. Thidrandi Vesteinson and Bjalfi Bjornolfson are still alive and slugging away at their posts, with well over 120 games between them. There's not going to be any improvement through the draft for these two.
CATCHER: As we had previously mentioned, Philhala does not employ them, making their passing game all the more impressive.
RUNNER: This is a good possibility, but then again.... These guys seem to have developed what we here at BSDN lovingly refer to as the “Kryten Curseâ€. They have yet to ever have a player at this position ever score more than 27 spps. They employ the position, so if there's a good one available, it's sure worth a look.
THROWER: Based on your love of the position, you could make a case either way. Having only had 2 previous players, you could argue that the team has done well enough without a Thrower thus far. Adding a player here, however, certainly does open up a whole new aspect of the game that would have to be taken very seriously, due to the large amount of agility on the squad. You could flip a coin on your thoughts about adding a player here.
ULFWERENER: No. The two players already employed, Kveldulf Lambson and Lief Lambson, are rather good, and carry over 100 games of experience between them. They don't like to miss matches, making them very dependable. There really shouldn't be any need to look for improvement here.
LINEMAN: The core of the squad. The heart of everything this team does. This is one of those rare, pleasant situations where we could honestly say that the core would not be the best place to look for improvement. They are an excellent bunch, with wide-ranging roles that they adhere to with ease.
As you can see, there really aren't a lot of holes to fill here. That's a testament to a well-run franchise. We would best be served looking for a good Runner or a Thrower, as we won't venture into the Catcher market. Let's take a look at the Draft Guide.
Taking into account what Norsemen players come to play with, skill wise, BSDN feels as though the best player available in the Skilled section as a Runner would be Geo Hillsman, who has proven to have some very fast times in the 40-yd dash in the combine. He would face a point reduction, going down to 31 points, but he may prove to be an excellent commodity for a quick score, as well as providing a bit more flexibility in defensive coverage.
If we were looking for a Thrower, the best player that seems to be available would be Devin O'Hara. He looks to be coming out of college as a more than capable QB. His completion rate was one of the higher ones to come out of the NCBB in recent memory. He would certainly take a bit of the workload off of Chris Harison with ball-handling. This would even allow Harison to slide more into a Catcher role if needed.
The front office elects to pick up O'Hara to play their Thrower position. This bodes well, traditionally speaking, for O'Hara, as players at that position tend to have bountiful, famous careers.
In the end, this certainly seems to be a high-quality pick for an ever-looming franchise. It's an excellent choice.
Well well, fans, we've just been given some wonderful news! Our first “double-shot†segment was such a success, we've been told that we're going to give it a second go, thanks to the wonderful sponsors of this program, so be sure to give a shout out to Dead Bull and Starblocks as they've graciously allowed us to keep talking about our beloved Blood Bowl League!
Let's keep the train a rollin'!
Our 21st pick last season belonged to some short, stocky, STRONG warriors out of the AFC North.
21. BEARDYMORE
Race: Dwarf
Player Selected: Geo Hillsman (Gardiner Webb)
Skills: Block, Dodge, Side Step, (+MA) – 51 pts
Position: Runner
Grade of Pick: A
These guys are all about team play; one for all and all for gold is their mantra. It's a decent philosophy to employ, especially being in the bashy confines of the AFC North, with perennial power houses Pittsburgh and AFC Champion Cincinnati residing here.
The "team-first" aspect shines through when you look at the current roster. There isn't a super-star that completely out-paces everyone else on the squad. The most experienced player on the squad is Bullnose Stonehands, a Blitzer. The players that are chasing his total are, for the most part, well rounded role fillers. Let's examine the roster to see what we're talking about.
BLITZER: Not necessary, no. As mentioned before, Stonehands plays here. There's also Kronk BronzeKnuckle, the other Blitzer who is developing nicely. It shouldn't be necessary to seek improvement here.
DEATHROLLER: Possibly. The squad has only ever employed one player at that position, who was quite useful. Since the departure of Dane Gordriver, the franchise hasn't found a player they feel comfortable hiring and training. We'll label this as a possbility.
LONGBEARD: The support mechanism of every Dwarf team is its well-developed Longbeards. This squad employs 10 of them, something rarely seen. It's certainly not a bad idea, as it offers a great spread of Block and Tackle throughout the roster. Out of the 10 on the squad, only 4 are rookies. It's really not a bad group of guys at all. There's always room for improvement, but with the depth currently enjoyed at this position, this wouldn't be the first area I would address.
RUNNER: Now this is a definite area of need. Runners have all the ball-handling responsibilities for the club. If you can't pick up and advance the ball, wins tend to elude your team. Just ask perennial panty-waste Jacksonville, who STILL doesn't have a ball-handler. It's no surprise they keep losing. If Beardymore wants to avoid the same “yuck yuck†status, this would be the place to look for some help.
TROLL SLAYER: Though it would be possible, this would be very low on the list of needs. The two players here are young, but both are close to skilling once again. Despite his youth, Murjin Bloodtooth is close to the top of the casualty list. It would probably be best to search for a different position to upgrade.
It seems to be no surprise at all that the glaring need for this squad is a Runner. Let's see what's available in the Skilled section of the Draft Guide.
There are two very good players that would fit the system in Brandon Carter and Geo Hillsman. They have both learned a bit of extra movement, as well as Block and Side Step. The difference comes in choosing a player who has Dodge or Sure Feet.
Though Sure Feet is a very nice (and underrated) skill to possess, it may not be the best for a Dwarf squad. Why? The simple answer is that there is safety in numbers. With so much Guard to go around on a Dwarf squad, it's often best to play a bit of a slower game, choosing to stay behind the Longbeards. That leaves the Sure Feet skill really only becoming a factor on turn 8, or perhaps a turn 7.
Dodge has a lot more utility throughout the match, offering an out in an emergency situation, as well as the defensive implications. Most coaches would rather possess a skill that has more potential throughout the match instead of a rather narrow situation.
Hillsman is the player that Beardymore should pick up, and that's exactly what the front office does. He fills a glaring need for the boys from Maryland. It's an excellent pick-up. Right player, right scenario. Great pick for this team.
Our 22nd pick of the draft belonged to a team whose name now is synonymous with both “Playoffs†and “hatred of Kill Wiper Jrâ€. Ironic, since this happens to be one of our beloved co-hosts favorite squads to follow...
22. CAROLINA
Race: Elf
Player Selected: Pig Howard (Tennessee)
Skills: Tackle, Mighty Blow, Piling On, Juggernaut – 51 pts
Position: Blitzer
Grade of Pick: A+
If I may quote my friend and “Carolina pariah†Mr. Kill Wiper Jr.,
"This squad is enigmatic. You never know if they'll stay healthy. You never know HOW they're going to beat you. By the time you've run those two thoughts through your head, you look up at the scoreboard and it's already 3-0. They're just that good...â€
For all the negativity and the back-and-forth between Head Coach Jeffro and BSDN's own Kill Wiper Jr., it doesn't seem to have any effect on the output of this club whatsoever. You know your team is in a good place when you can look at the very beginning of a season, and pen in a team that you just know is going to make it to the Playoffs. Carolina is one of those clubs, with other teams being Green Ball, New Angryland, and up-and-staying-up Cincinnati. That's some very good company to be keeping.
The only negative that can be said about this squad is their lack of strength and conditioning. The club seems to average 3+ casualties per match against them. It can become hard to compete when you find yourself constantly 2 or 3 men down by the 2nd half kick-off, yet these boys manage to win game after game. That's a testament to great coaching by Jeffro, the man who constantly talks about “having to Wiper his ass...â€
These guys were outsed from their Playoff run by another up-and-coming squad in Minnesota. They were ultimately left with only 8 remaining on the starting roster. Let's see where the most help can be added.
BLITZER: Yes. Jeffro is permitted to have two hired, but only Captain Munnerlyn, the elder statesman of the squad, remains. He's a wonderful asset to this club, but he's simply not able to do it all alone.
CATCHER: Yes. Out of the 4 they are permitted to sign, only Kelvin Benjamin is still employed. All the others have left the squad via death, injury, or contract disputes. This is another area of need.
LINEMAN: Yes, but... There are 4 remaining on the squad, all of which have at least 2 skills. Added help here is always a luxury, but it would probably not offer us the most bang for our buck.
THROWER: No. It's the only position on the squad that currently has its full compliment of players. The two that are signed are fairly decent. There isn't a need to look for improvement here.
Well, we know that we're not looking for a Thrower. Outside of that, it looks as though it can be the best player available, as there are many needs to fill.
As we quickly blast through each section, here's the best available for each need:
LINEMAN: Tyler Fairroll – Wrestle, Strip Ball, (+AG) – 48 pts
SKILLED: Brandon Carter – Block, Sure Feet, Side Step, (+MA) – 51 pts
BLITZER: Pig Howard – Mighty Blow, Tackle, Piling On, Juggernaut – 51 pts
These are 3 very useful players to most any team. It's a nice choice to have. The front office examines these 3 choices, and selects the Blitzer out of Tennessee, Pig Howard. We at BSDN are fully on board with the selection.
While an agile Lineman is nice, he's so much more of a one-sided player in his skill set. With so many needs to attend to, a player who is more generally-oriented may be of more value. This theory also eliminates the Catcher from the equation.
The other way of thinking is that since this squad is apt to take a great deal of casualties, why not try to get out in front of the problem with a player that can dish it out just as much? You can't expect to really go toe-to-toe with the big bashers, but at least you have the opportunity to even the score a little.
A Blitzer with this skill set will help to clear a bit more room on the pitch for the younger, less experienced Elves to operate. It really is the best option to draft.
We still, however, would like to hear some of the reasoning from those who are closest to the situation. Ladies and gentlemen, it is our pleasure to once again welcome Head Coach Jeffro back to the program. Coach, it's Stabbem Chefcter here. Glad to have you on the show again this season.
JEFFRO: It is good to be back. May I say that I love the direction the show has gone this year. You are performing more than capably holding your own here. We barely even remember what it was like with what's his face..
CHEFCTER: Coach, we've spent a bit of time discussing the holes on your roster. We've also discussed why we felt that drafting a Blitzer was really the best option for the Party. Tell us about the reasoning and the discussions that led you to draft at this position.
JEFFRO: You are spot on. If you weren't doing so well here... well let me say that you would have a front office job offer in a hot minute. But as to how we draft: We're ballers. But ballers need a mauler. Last season we relied a little too heavily on the nasty play of our Linewomen, but when Richard Rodgersss took the injury we knew we needed to look for a sidekick to The Captain.
CHEFCTER: Talk to us a bit about what is now regarded as the best rivalry in the NBFL; between you and the Atlatl 'n Falchions. What is it about them that brings out the very best in your guys?
JEFFRO: We're not the best team in the NBFL, but we look at ourselves like one of the teams in the upper echelon of the league. So I don't think it's really about us looking like we are at our best against our division rivals. We're even keel. But in that regards, it's kinda like when you have a diamond sitting on a pile of shit. That diamond is gonna shine.
CHEFCTER: Are you calling the Atlatl'n Falchions a pile of shit?
JEFFRO: Well... not the team. Not the whole team anyway... the coach maybe. Yeah. Definitely their coach.
CHEFCTER: Oh my.
JEFFRO: You know what it's like when you are just going about your job... performing well... up to your own high standards... and then some hack comes in the general proximity and it just makes you look that much better. You know what that's like... with what's his nuts.
CHEFCTER: Coach, it's been a rather open feud between you co-host and WWII history buff Mr. Kill Wiper Jr. Is there any hope of repairing the relationship? He IS, after all, one of the bigger supporters of your team.
JEFFRO: He couldn't support an 8-year old boys nuts with Jared Fogle's meat hooks...
WIPER JR: Allow me to add to that response....
(the camera pans to the back of the set, to find a wounded, bloodied Kill Wiper Jr entering the set. He immediately begins to put on his earpiece. Chefcter is stunned).
CHEFCTER: Oh my Nuffle, KILLY! You're ok!
WIPER JR: More or less, I'll be ok, sure.
CHEFCTER: My goodness, what happened to you?
WIPER JR: Care to tell them, Jeffro?
JEFFRO: Jeebus! How'd you escape!?! Lemme come clean for our home audience - since it wasn't my fault!! I was just talking to my good friend and supporter Tom Arnold Drumph at a benefit for his presidential campaign. I mentioned to The Tomald (that's what close friends call him... The Tomald) I said "You know what, The Tomald? That Kill Wiper Junior Bacon Shitburger really gets my goat sometimes." The Tomald says "Yeah. He reminds me of those nerds that we would pull their underwear over their heads."... and I says "I want to do that to him with his own sphincter!!" Well, a few Manhattans later and The Tomald leans over and says "I do sooprise fa youz..." and then leaves. The next week, I get up in the morning and there's Ass-Wiper all tied up like Hannibal Lecter!! Beat to snot and delivered to my basement! It was awesome... I felt like Jabba the Hutt. Just kinda kept him there... left the house when the season started and just figured he would die like a starved possum. How he escaped... well... it's a shame however it happened.
WIPER JR: Coach, I'd like to ask you a team-related question. How do you manage to motivate your players for such matches as Malice or Miami? How do they get to look forward to playing an enormously bashy team, knowing that they face serious injury in front of them?
JEFFRO: GODDAMN, you're dumb. I should make you ask that question to Captain Munnerlyn so he can laugh in your face while he feeds your teeth one by one into your fat hairy nose. These are Pro players, you mess... get back in my basement.
CHEFCTER: Coach, how about offering us a prediction on the NFC South this season? Will you be throwing yet another Black Panther Party at the end of the regular season?
JEFFRO: We will hold to our mantra of trying to win the division, working towards home field advantage, and focusing on the Championship. But if there's a party, Chef... you're invited.
CHEFCTER: Head Coach Jeffro of the Carolina Black Panther Party, we thank you for joining us on the program.
WIPER JR: Best of luck to you this season, Coach.
JEFFRO: Thanks, Chef. Don't bother with your back, Wipe-out... watch your front. Someone's gonna make you choke on a rhino testicle. And you deserve it.
CHEFCTER: We can't tell you how thrilled we are to have you back, Killy. Are you okay?
WIPER JR: Sure, Stabby. I've had to deal with furious Deathrollers and Snow Trolls before. I think I can handle some crazed Carolina fans...
CHEFCTER: Are you still a fan of them?
WIPER JR: Indeed, Stabby. It's a great team. They've been absolutely mauled by teams like Philhala, Detroilet, and of course Atlatl, yet every year, you can pen them into your NFC Playoff bracket. That's the tell-tale sign of good ownership and determination. My love, first and foremost, is to the NBFL, and they absolutely epitomize the spirit of what the league is all about. Sure, you may be down for a few games, but it just don't matter when you can score like those guys can.
CHEFCTER: So, you'll continue to root for them?
WIPER JR: Most definitely, Stabby. They're an excellent team, and I also know how much, deep down inside, it really angers Jeffro when I speak so highly of them. It's nearly as humorous as that time Jeffro went into the closet blindfolded for "Seven Minutes In Heaven", only to realize he had made out with and totally felt up his own sister... The bottom line is that I know rooting for Carolina burns Jeffro worse than the VD that his Mama gave him...
CHEFCTER: Dear God, Killy. Did that really happen?
WIPER JR: Sad to say, it did, Stabby. I just feel truly awful for the women in Jeffro's life...
CHEFCTER: Well, on behalf of all the fans of the NBFL and our show, may I be the first to say that we are all ELATED that you have returned.
WIPER JR: Wouldn't miss it voluntarily, Stabby. I love doing what we do...
CHEFCTER: Well NBFL fans, our co-host has returned, and frankly, we couldn't be happier! Tune in to our next segment, as we'll be speaking about two more of last season's playoff teams.
WIPER JR: Have you had any Spitter questions yet, Stabby?
CHEFCTER: We've done a few, but we still have a couple more. We can also invite a new batch of questions to come in, now that Killy has returned. Don't be afraid to keep Spitting at us. We'll get to as many as we can.
WIPER JR: So, stay tuned, NBFL fans. In our next segment, we'll be talking about the other member of the NBFL's best rivalry, as well as one of the successful members of the AFC South. Don't go away, folks! We'll be back with you after these few messages...
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MrNomad
Joined: Mar 24, 2007
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| Posted:
Mar 31, 2016 - 02:31 |
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So that's what happened to Killy!!!!! |
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FRSHMN
Joined: Feb 25, 2013
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| Posted:
Mar 31, 2016 - 02:46 |
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Excellent, once again.
\o/ \o/ \o/ He's back, Terminator-style \o/ \o/ \o/
dudumm, dum dudumm... dudumm, dum dudumm
\o/ \o/ \o/ \o/ \o/ \o/ \o/ \o/ \o/ \o/ \o/ |
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Jeffro
Joined: Jan 22, 2009
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| Posted:
Mar 31, 2016 - 03:56 |
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He LYING!! That wasn't my sister!! I'm gonna send a wild boar to rape you, Wiperblade!! |
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Apojar
Joined: Aug 05, 2006
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| Posted:
Apr 05, 2016 - 17:54 |
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CHEFCTER: Welcome once again, NBFL fans! We are back. You're watching the NBFL Draft Review and Analysis Show. When I say “we†are back, I'm thrilled to announce that we are once again able to bring you this show with my co-host and Broadway pit conductor, Mr. Kill Wiper Jr. As always, I'm your host Stabbem Chefcter. We're delighted to be talking about your favorite teams in this beloved Blood Bowl league.
WIPER JR: That's right, Stabby. I wasn't here for the beginning of this year's production, but the folks here at BSDN have been dissecting last season's draft class, beginning with the teams that needed the most help. We are up to the point where we're speaking about last season's Playoff contenders; teams that enjoyed a bit of success last year, hoping to etch their name on the Championship Trophy.
CHEFCTER: We'd like to answer one of the many Spitter questions that we've been receiving here, and just like old times, we'd like Killy to take a shot at it.
WIPER JR: I live for these, Stabby. Thank you very much. Whatcha got for me?
CHEFCTER: This one comes to us from @TactfullyPactful. He wants to ask “I know you guys love destroying Jacksonville, which happens to be my favorite squad, but can I ask you guys at BSDN to take a serious look at the squad, and tell us what their future is like?â€
WIPER JR: I'd be happy to. We here at BSDN often love to poke fun at the Pactuars, but in all honesty, it's because we have a very good relationship with the front office of the club. They make fun of us quite a bit, but you don't get to see that unless you follow their BloodCasts online. We go back and forth in a friendly manner, and take it with a grain of salt.
You're right to be hopeful about your team's future. In truth, it's been, well.... VERY VERY slow going in the first two campaigns, which is only partly to be expected. Teams similar to this often don't hit any kind of a stride until arriving in the 2100 – 2200 team value range. As we are having this discussion now on the air, the Pactuars have yet to hit the 2200 team value point. They're about to begin the season at 2170, their highest level to date.
Their drafting, for the most part, has been above average.
CHEFCTER: You really think so, Killy? We've been giving them pretty consistent grades of C's and D's.
WIPER JR: I do, Stabby. Their development has been steady, though a bit slow. There are a few shining stars on this squad, such as Charles Folger, Chris Killer, and their captain Tim Fugger. This team does have a bright future ahead of it.
Do they have what it takes to compete right now for a Championship? I do not believe they do yet, no.
Can they contest for a Playoff position this season? That's an awful lot to ask of a squad that has won only 4 matches in 2 years. Stranger things have happened, however.
I see Jacksonville finishing in 3rd, but they'll at least be a factor late into the season. I would figure them to split with Tennessee, split with Houston, but, as usual, lose both matches to Indianapolis. I could certainly see a 5 or 6 win season, but it's just not going to be enough to make the Playoffs this year. Have faith, though. Your team is going in the right direction!
CHEFCTER: I can't tell you how awesome it is to have you back, Killy.
WIPER JR: Glad to be here, Stabby. If it wasn't for those nutty fans in Carolina, you couldn't possibly keep me away from this job.
CHEFCTER: What happened to you, anyway? Do you remember?
WIPER JR: Well, if you remember, Stabby, BSDN had decided to do our live mock-draft broadcast from Carolina's stadium. Some rabid fan, whom it was later discovered was a close, personal associate of "the Tomald", thought that my gender didn't identify with the rest room I went into, so he had me arrested and... well, I'd rather not speak about the rest just yet...
CHEFCTER: Gosh, that's just awful, Killy.
WIPER JR: That's Carolina for you, Stabby....
CHEFCTER: Well then, let's talk about some happier topics. For example, our 23rd pick from last season belonged to the other NFC South power house from... well, from forever....
23. ATLATL
Race: Lizardman
Player Selected: Tyler Fairroll (Missouri – Rolla)
Skills: Wrestle, Strip Ball, (+AG) – 48 pts
Position: Skink
Grade of Pick: A+
CHEFCTER: If it feels like we've been discussing this team forever, you're pretty close to being right. The Falchions are one of the oldest teams in all leagues across the land, not only within the NBFL. Since day 1, these guys have been delivering punishment in the NFC South, having appeared in a Super Bowl or two.
Their front lines are the stuff that dreams are made of. Back in season 2, the Saruii were nominated for Players of the Year. Unfortunately, they lost badly in Super Bowl II. If anyone “enjoys the challenge†of playing against Atlatl, they're lying to you.
Let's see how the team is currently composed, and see if there's a place to add some assistance.
KROXIGOR: Not necessary, no. W'es B'lob is currently employed on the squad, who happens to have the Block skill. It's not easy to come by at this position, so it's probably best not to look for a replacement here.
SAURUS: It's possible. There does happen to be a rookie on the squad, so this could be an area to add some solid depth. The position is the heart and soul of the team, historically speaking.
SKINK: It's possible, sure. There are currently 7 of them signed to the roster for next season. None of them are rookies. K'ry “the Flier†Me'ir is still going strong, acting as the squad's touchdown machine. It certainly wouldn't hurt to add a player here.
Head Coach ryanfitz is in an excellent position here. He doesn't really need a great deal of assistance, so he's able to hire the best player available to him. In normal circumstances, we here at BSDN would feel that adding a 6th Saurus would be more valuable in the long run than adding an 8th Skink. Let's look at what's available.
Saurii qualify both in the Blitzer and Strength categories. As the latter has been completely stripped, we're only able to search through the former.
The best option, it would appear, would be Dinkin Miller, a 25-pt draftee with Tackle and Mighty Blow on board. He's only 6 points away from picking up the ever-important Block. There are other, higher-point, more-skilled players in the section, but they would be even farther away from picking up the precious Block skill.
Skinks get a slight advantage, in that they qualify in both the Skilled and Lineman sections, making them more attractive to consider and draft. Looking through the Lineman section, there's a beautiful candidate remaining in the likes of Tyler Fairroll. It's a beautiful day when a coach with Stunty players can add a draftee with extra Agility. Fairroll also can Strip Ball and Wrestle a ball carrier down, even dodging into the best of cages. This is an excellent candidate for creating havoc in the back field of the opposition.
As we look through the Skilled section, the best player of the group would be Brandon Carter, a player with a good amount of extra movement. His skills, however, would certainly not be unique to the franchise, as he closely mimics the role that K'ry Me'ir fills for the team, making his services slightly less valuable.
We would normally say that a 6th Saurus would be the better choice. Given the options of each position that are available, the better of the two options would be to draft a more impactful Skink, which is exactly what ryanfitz does.
This is a fantastic pick-up for the team, adding yet another threat to the pitch that travels anywhere he wants to go, for the most part, on a 2+.
WIPER JR: Stabby, you're right on the money. Given that the Saurus position is so very developed, they should be able to easily "hide" their one Rookie with some good, overall team play. Fairroll, however, has the skills that any Lizardman coach will covet. He will, in all likelihood, have quite a bit more impact on the average NBFL match than a Block-less Saurus, causing coaches to re-think their ball protection.
CHEFCTER: So, this is the player you would have drafted here, Killy?
WIPER JR: I would have at least considered Brandon Carter, as he could have been a replacement for the injured and ageing K'ry Me'ir. This, however, would have been more of a lateral move, not really offering improvement; just salary cap relief. This really was the correct player to draft for the club.
Our next team to discuss had pick #24 in last season's NBFL draft.
24. TENNESSEE
Race: Orc
Player Selected: Tony Kanal (Oregon)
Skills: Block, Dodge, Frenzy, Mighty Blow – 67 pts
Positon: Thrower
Grade of Pick: C+
WIPER JR: These guys may be one of the best squads in all of the NBFL that you never hear about. They aren't really flashy. They're not terribly self-aggrandizing in the social media streams. They don't throw a ton of high-energy pep rallies or the like. So, what do they do?
Win. This squad is incredibly well-balanced. Everyone on the squad can step into and fill anyone else's role, which they do without hesitation. Everyone here has totally bought into the “team first†strategy that Coach Arktoris has had so much success with in the past.
Their performance in Season 15's regular season was excellent; so much so that they qualified as the #3 seed in the AFC last season. Unfortunately, it began to unravel late in the season and into the playoffs. Injuries crept in and took a heavy toll on the squad. As evidence, there were 3 deaths in their Playoff loss to the #6 seeded Pittsburgh alone. The armor just didn't hold up against the boots, sustaining 7 fouls in the match, taking 6 CAS overall (3/0/3). The roster ended up in shreds.
This off-season, however, offers the club a chance to fill a glaring hole. Let's see where the most help is needed, and see if we can offer some assistance.
BLACK ORC BLOCKER: Yes. This grueling season has seen the squad searching for 2 replacements players here. In reality, it's 3, as a newer player was hired at the beginning of Season 15. Their star player in this position is Karl Klug, one of the old timers of the squad. He could sure use some help at this position.
BLITZER: Yes. There are 3 very nice players under contract here. With the untimely... passing... of their 4th player, it leaves a void that needs to be addressed.
GOBLIN: Maybe, but it's not the top priority. These guys like to run with 2 Goblins, but due to one passing, the team will be in the market for another. It would NOT be the highest priority to address, but it is still a position of importance to the team.
LINEMAN: There are only 2 remaining on the team, A Chu and Brett Kern, both being nice assets to the team. There would certainly be room for improvement here, though it may be slightly more important to address the positionals first.
THROWER: Yes. Having lost Jake Locker in the Playoffs last season, the team is going to be in serious need of a ball handler. This is a very important position for the team to address.
TROLL: No. This happens to be the only position where we can definitely say that no improvement is necessary, since Michael von Bargen III is still slugging away at the opposition. He strikes fear into the souls of many an AFC foe, scoring 75 CAS thus far. You won't improve on production like that through the draft.
There are needs everywhere to address. As any good front office would do, we'll take a peek at each section to identify the better players available, and narrow our field. Here's a list of the best players available, based on sections.
LINEMAN: The best option, given the skills that are typically taught to the position, would be Jaden Oberkrom, coming out of college with Wrestle, Dirty Player, and Kick.
SKILLED: Best option would be Brandon Carter, who comes out of college with Block, Side Step, Sure Feet, and (+MA). He would do well as a ball handler, playing the Thrower position. We've also taken into account addressing the Goblin position, but the Thrower offers better options.
BLITZER: Best option would be CJ Bradshaw, who comes out of college with Mighty Blow, Tackle, Guard, and Piling On.
STRENGTH: At this point in the draft, this is no qualifying player at this position to draft as a Black Orc Blocker.
We can obviously look past our desire to draft a Black Orc Blocker, as there is nobody left that qualifies. We will also eliminate the Lineman from this pool. The set of skills that Oberkrom comes with is nice, but it doesn't really add anything new to the club. He would come with an already-existing set of skills that is plentiful to the existing players on the roster.
We're down to choosing between a Thrower and a Blitzer. It is here that we see a prime example of the “need before greed†theory of drafting. Allow me to explain.
If we examine these two players side by side as they would appear on an Orc roster, the obvious choice in nearly every instance would be the offensive Blitzer. His skill set would lend itself much easier to a ground-and-pound, running attack that favors the physical Orc game.
This situation, however, strays from the norm. Sure, removing the opposition is a wonderful, bloody, riot-inducing scenario. The bottom line, however, is this: you could remove all the opposition from the pitch, but if you can't pick up, control, and advance the ball to the opponent's end zone, it still ends in a tie.
Ball handling is crucial. It wins matches, as well as loses matches when you don't have a reliable source. The most important thing you can do in the opening of your offensive drive is to guard that ball, making sure that you're the only Coach that has a shot at picking it up.
In this case, even though the other positional seems more sexy or attractive, it's worth it in the long run to address the more urgent need, rather than drafting the flashier player. The need for a Thrower should win out over a 4th Blitzer.
The front office, however, goes a bit of a different direction. They do, indeed, draft the correct position, but elect to pick up Tony Kanal out of Oregon. He does have the ability to handle the ball, having Sure Hands. This player, however, is far more offensive in his approach than most, having both Frenzy and Mighty Blow. It addresses the idea, but adds a bit of a more interesting dimension.
Kanal is now able to play both sides of the ball. He'll take care of the ball on the offensive drive. Opponents will honestly have to consider whether or not it's worth it to mark him with a single defender, as he's not afraid to mix it up.
This may also allow for the development of a future player. In the long run, Kanal could become a defensive specialist. Not only can he add a bit of removal to the equation, he can be a security blanket. Most teams won't bother to play a Thrower on the defensive drive. Kanal adds another layer of defense to think about. He could clear away a ball-carrier with his offensive skill set, or scoop up and protect the ball when the Blitzer core knocks it free. If Kanal was used in this way, it would allow the development of a 2nd Thrower to work the offensive side of the ball. This is, however, a very difficult plan to bring to fruition, as injuries and fouls often lead to the corruption of the best laid plans...
We here at BSDN felt that the correct position was drafted. We do feel, however, that the player to be picked up should have been Brandon Carter. It's hard enough to keep one ball-handler alive, let alone a second one. It isn't wise to think in terms of a tandem of two players at the same position when you only get to draft once. Sure, you can hire a second player, but there's no way to know how quickly, or even if ever the 2nd player will develop the way you want him to. It would seem best to take the player that can best put touchdowns on the board now. With the given skills of each player available, Carter's skills fit the needed mold better than Kanal's.
It's the right position to draft, but this player doesn't seem to fit the needs of the position as well as another choice.
CHEFCTER: We've gone through a number of picks now and, as we've been trying to do, we'd like to bring in a veteran coach to discuss some of the positives and negatives of the previous draftees. At this time, we'd like to welcome to our program the Head Coach of the Indianapolis Crypts, Coach MrNomad. How's it going today, Coach? It's Stabbem Chefcter and Kill Wiper Jr.
MRNOMAD: Thank you for the invite, guys. I've been a huge fan of you both for a long time now.
CHEFCTER: Coach, you've been very fortunate with draft picks in the past. Is there any one thing that you are looking for in a player, or a group of players that makes them far more attractive?
MRNOMAD: We approach the draft from a needs perspective, Chef, and after that, the fundamentals. You know I'm old school...make sure you have ball handlers. Hard to win games if you can't score. Make sure you have enough Tackle to bring down Blodgers. Last but certainly not least. make sure you have an ample supply of Dirty Players...never pass up a good spiked knuckle to the neck or at least stomp on a kneecap while your opponent is down.
WIPER JR: Coach, Kill Wiper Jr. here. Nice to talk with you again. Which pick from the previous group interests you the most? Is there one particular one that you'll have your eye on for one reason or another? Which team made out the best so far?
MRNOMAD: Well Killy, hands down, I think Coach Jeffro got a steal picking up Pig Howard as late as he did. He definitely adds some "Pop" to Carolina's team. Puts some teeth into the team and provides a good running mate for Kelvin Benjamin. Gives a duel threat with both of them on the field.
CHEFCTER: Is there a team who you think may have missed the boat on their pick?
MRNOMAD: Chef, I'm sure this comes as no surprise to anyone. I have a lot of respect for coach Kryten and I'm not one to second guess him. But his pick of a very solid Lineman in Chris James when he has a very youthful Blitzer core had me scratching my head. To leave a player like Pig Howard from Tennessee on the board when he could fill a big need on the team...I just don't understand it myself.
WIPER JR: Coach, what's your view going forward for the Crypts this season? We predicted them to win the division. How do you see things shaking down?
MRNOMAD: Well Killy, I'll tell you. Our first game was a tough one for us to swallow. We lost a superstar in Darkmontre Moore. Not only did we lose him we also lost our special teams captain and oldest player on the team in David Attacker. We've managed to pull out a few wins but the road ahead looks bumpy to me. Jacksonville is playing very well right now. So the division is definitely up for grabs.
CHEFCTER: Coach MrNoad, as always, a pleasure getting to speak to you. Thanks for stopping by today.
MRNOMAD: Thank you for having me here guys. Hopefully you'll interview me again during the Playoffs, or perhaps even the Super Bowl.
CHEFCTER: Well, NBFL fans, we're through the first 24 picks now. We're well into the previous season's Playoff contenders, and inching our way closer to last year's Super Bowl participants.
WIPER JR: Stay with us though, fans! In our next segment, we'll be visiting one of the old stalwarts from the AFC West, as well as a perennial killing machine found in the AFC North.
CHEFCTER: You won't want to miss it, folks. Also, please don't forget to keep sending us in your Spitter questions. We'll even answer some on the air!
WIPER JR: Stick around, folks! |
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Arktoris
Joined: Feb 16, 2004
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Apr 05, 2016 - 20:05 |
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completely agree. in fact, with the low performance of Kanal I'd give the pick an "F". The only thing I'd disagree is getting CJ Bradshaw, who was not on the list at the time of our selection.
The reasoning: With last seasons wipe out of players, Tennessee is going through a reinvention phase.
Titanz win and lose by the abilities of two players. Jake on his throwing, and Brian on his fouling. when they do well, the game is a win. When they strike out, the game falls a part.
We lost Jake late last season so the team needs a new quarterback. We decided to try something different. Go with a runner instead of a thrower, while training up another thrower to be the passer.
One will be on defense, the other on offensive plays.
Well, neither are training that great. All attempts to make spps result in embarrassment...mainly due to there being no catcher.
Additionally, the team is quite low on guards. So the ground/pound cage isn't working either.
the end result.
widespread failure.
Luckily though, we haven't seen much damage either. So the team is slowly improving. Once we hit critical mass...the glory days will return! |
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Hail to Manowar! The latest charioteer to DIE for bloodbowl! - Slain, by Ghor Oggaz |
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Apojar
Joined: Aug 05, 2006
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Apr 28, 2016 - 03:13 |
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CHEFCTER: Good day, NBFL fans! You're still tuned in to the NBFL Draft Review and Analysis Show. I'm one of your hosts, Stabbem Chefcter, alongside my long-time co-host and Cricket aficianado, Mr. Kill Wiper Jr.
WIPER JR: West Indies!!!!
CHEFCTER: You are quite the well-rounded individual, Killy. How do you find time for all these interests?
WIPER JR: The off-season for the NBFL leaves a vacuous hole in my soul that I have to fill with something. Often times, it feels like forever, so I try to fill it with a lot of somethings...
CHEFCTER: Interesting....
WIPER JR: There's quite an interesting world out there to explore, Stabby. Just have to have the courage to look.
CHEFCTER: Well said, Killy. I'm quite handy myself, but not quite as excited about traveling as you are.
WIPER JR: I've seen your work, Stabby. Your puppet show re-creations of former World Wars is extraordinary to say the least.
CHEFCTER: I thank you for that, Killy. Speaking of killing, we're here to continue talking about something we passionately have in common: the NBFL. We've spoken about all but 6 of last season's teams thus far. Let's get back into the next two.
The 27th pick from last season belonged to an all-around difficult squad to play against, as they just do everything right on both sides of the ball.
27. INDIANAPOLIS
Race: Undead
Player Selected: C.J. Sssanderson (California)
Skills: Wrestle, Side Step, Diving Tackle – 48 pts
Position: Ghoul
Grade of Pick: A
CHEFCTER: You've undoubtedly heard the expression that it's hard to keep a good team or man down. This team epitomizes that expression. You can throw everything you have at these guys, and they just bounce back at you later in the match. A healthy combination of excellent coaching and Regeneration makes this one of the most difficult teams to extract any form of success against. This is one of the reasons why Head Coach MrNomad was able to make a deep Playoff run last season.
There's always room for improvement though. Let's peek through the roster and see where it can best come from.
GHOUL: This could be a place to add some assistance. Undead teams are allowed to employ 4 of them. There are currently 3 signed, two of which are very good ball-handlers. There's a possibility of adding some assistance here.
MUMMY: No. The best 1-2 punch in the NBFL, arguably speaking, is found here in Rickey Moore and Jeremiah Terrible. These guys have over 100 CAS between them. This is probably not a place to look to add some improvement.
WIGHT: No. With Duane Blockett and Darkmontre Moore on the squad still, there really won't be a suitable improvement to be found over these two, with more than 100 games experience. You can't draft intangibles such as that.
ZOMBIE: These guys are the work horses of the squad. There has been some minor rumors circulating that they also pay into the Chapter Black program that Pittsburgh has been mentioned to use, though with not nearly as many players. The Cyrpts have some of the oldest players in the league, many of which are Zombies. 7 Zombies are signed to the squad, with a massive total of 606 games experience! That's an enormous amount of pitch time. There's always room to improve in the core, despite all that experience, though it may not be the first place we should look.
It does not appear that the franchise employs Skeletons, so we did not include or list them in the above positions.
It seems like there's an enormous arrow pointing at the squad that says “a Ghoul goes hereâ€. By far, that's our first concern for the squad. After that, a Zombie would be our 2nd choice. Let's see who remains in the draft guide.
Looking through the Skilled section, there are, surprisingly, a very nice selection of players remaining. The choices are quite diverse, so we may need to delve further into what we're searching for out of a Ghoul at this point.
We already have Edgarin Jams and Brandon Striker signed to the squad, who are essentially the same player, apart from their crazy personalities.
WIPER JR: That Striker sure knows how to party, Stabby.
CHEFCTER: That's what I was alluding to, Killy. It's rumored that his new roommate, Nurgle Warrior hopeful Blobby Mansmell, are often seen taking in a good amount of the nght life. Jams, however, is the complete opposite, electing to stay late into the night at the team's training facility, studying his opponent.
Both players have Block, Side Step, and Sure Hands as a skill set, so ball-handling for the squad seems to be taken care of. The third player signed, Reggie Whino, is still a bit young, but does have Block already in the arsenal.
Our options seem to be one of two: (A) we search for a more defensive Ghoul, or (B) we search for a more offensive, scoring expert for the club. This choice may very well depend on the players available.
If we are searching for a defensive player, our best option available appears to be C.J. Sssanderson, coming with Wrestle, Side Step, and Diving Tackle. He would be a specialist for tracking a ball-handler, becoming very difficult to get away from. This could add an extra layer of defense for the squad.
If we would like to search for someone offensive in nature, our best option will probably be Brandon Carter, coming with Block, Side Step, Sure Feet, and (+MA). He can add some extra reliable speed and movement to the everyday dealings of the scoring machine.
These are both excellent players. We do feel, however, that the better of the two choices for the squad, given the talent that already exists, is Sssanderson, our defensive choice. He adds more diversity to the position compared to Carter, who more closely resembles the players already in place. This is, according to us here at BSDN, the best choice available for this squad.
WIPER JR: Last season's 28th pick belonged to the champions of the NFC West. These guys may play high, but when they're lit up, they are near impossible to pin down on the pitch.
28. SEATTLE
Race: High Elf
Player Selected: Hi-C Scott (Western Illinois)
Skills: Block, (+MA) – 27 pts
Position: Thrower
Grade of Pick: B+
WIPER JR: This squad is a shining example for how well an agility-based squad can complete within a league full of brutal, physical teams. Another year, another divisional championship for the Weed Hawks and their under-rated Head Coach Stimme. Congratulations to them, and we at BSDN wish you continued success going forward.
These boys are fast. In the time you just blinked, these guys managed another 2 scores. Yet for all the agility they have, this team oddly doesn't have a single interception to its credit.
Scoring certainly doesn't seem to be difficult to these boys, as evidenced by the extended Playoff run these guys made. There really isn't a part of their game that is lacking; even their physical brutality has been quite effective. A third of the High Elves on this squad are in double-digit CAS. It may be a bit more common on teams like Oakland, but this is not a common occurance for High Elves.
Let's take a peek at their roster to see how it's currently constructed.
DRAGON WARRIOR: No. Two beauties already play here in the likes of Rusself Wilsoon and Dashani Skinkslayer. These two are dynamos on the defensive side of the ball. With their rather attractive set of skills these two feature, there really isn't much improvement to come at this late point in the draft.
LINEMAN: Half of last season's remaining squad is at the Lineman position. Captained by Linus Delf, this crew happens to be quite good, with only one Rookie in the ranks. There is always room for adding depth, but this may not be the first place we would look.
LION WARRIOR: It's possible. They are permitted to hire 4 players for the position, with 3 already being signed. The players already employed, Percy Haveit, Riccardo Lookatit, and Tarvaris Checksum, are excellent at their roles. There is certainly room for a 4th player here, though it may not be tops on the priority list.
PHOENIX WARRIOR: This is a place where some talent can do some immediate good. Elf Jackson is on the squad, but he's still rather young. Bringing in a well-developed player out of the college ranks may be just the thing to give this offense yet another shot in the arm.
It seems obvious that we would be looking primarily for a Thrower, as it would appear that the greatest impact can be made. Let's see what the guild has available for us in the Skilled section.
Looking through the available players, two players rise to the top of the heap for Seattle. Let's examine them:
Casey Pachall: Block, Leader, Accurate – 47 pts. (TCU)
This is quite a nice player for any Elf race to pick up. Paschall can deliver the ball to Long Bomb range at 50% accuracy (4+). There aren't a tremendous amount of times where that will be necessary, but it's a nice option to have waiting in the bag of tricks. Pachall is also a field general, being a natural Leader. Let's now compare him to:
Hi-C Scott: Block, (+MA) – 27 pts. (Western Illinois)
Scott adds a small amount of speed to the position, as well as a bit of youth. Why is that part important? He's rather close to his 31-point skill level. It allows Coach Stimme to mold and train him a bit more toward however he wants him to advance, be it Sure Hands or Dodge. He won't be quite as large a hit to the team's Team Value, though that is seldom a concern.
This could honestly be considered a coin flip. Both players have excellent cases for being drafted, but one factor will tip the scales. Seattle is one of the teams that already carries 4 Rerolls in the staff, so this may decrease the value slightly for Casey Pachall and his Leader skill.
Ultimately, the front office selects Scott to be their new Thrower. It's quite a bonus of a pick-up for the franchise this late in the draft.
CHEFCTER: Don't run too far, NBFL fans! We're down to last season's Conference Championship teams. That means there's only 4 teams left to discuss.
WIPER JR: Our next segment features the two Championship runner-ups from Season 15. The first team is a new-comer to the spotlight, while the 2nd is exactly who you'd expect to be here, this late into the Playoff run and draft.
CHEFCTER: Stick around, folks! We're down to the nitty-gritty! |
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Sutherlands
Joined: Aug 01, 2009
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Apr 28, 2016 - 03:19 |
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Looking above at philhalas grade, I like that they fail to employ a "Norse catcher" |
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Arktoris
Joined: Feb 16, 2004
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May 05, 2016 - 00:29 |
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Norse do not have catchers. They were replaced with runners when CRP came out. |
_________________
Hail to Manowar! The latest charioteer to DIE for bloodbowl! - Slain, by Ghor Oggaz |
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Apojar
Joined: Aug 05, 2006
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May 06, 2016 - 00:15 |
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CHEFCTER: Welcome back to the program, fellow NBFL fans! As always, you're watching the NBFL Draft Review and Analysis Show. This is the Season 16 edition, once again being hosted by myself, Mr. Stabbem Chefcter. Alongside me is my long-time co-host, Mr. Kill Wiper Jr. You settled back in yet, Killy?
WIPER JR: I'm doing all right, my friend.
CHEFCTER: What was it like, Killy? All that time you were, in theory, a political prisoner?
WIPER JR: The first few weeks, I was subjected to having my eyes stuck open, being forced to watch an unending loop of Rush Limbaugh showering, drying his soft, supple, shitty body with a shredded copy of the US Constitution. When that didn't break my spirit, they subjected me to adorable cat videos until I passed out from cuteness. Then, the usual waterboarding, Chinese torture techniques, and being photographed in Tom Arnold Drumpf propaganda. Fairly standard torture techniques....
CHEFCTER: I see. Wanna answer a Spitter question for these nice folks?
WIPER JR: I'd be happy to, Stabby.
CHEFCTER: This question comes to us from @lickerofGGW . He wants to know who the best team out there is that we don't get to hear a lot of hype about.
WIPER: Pittsburgh. The media throws a lot of coverage to the AFC East, as BSDN's headquarters, as well as the largest percentage of NBFL fans can be found there. There's so much made of the continued success that New Angryland enjoys, but people tend to overlook what the Pirates are doing year after year; win. This program has been all about building durably, which has translated into long-term success. Mark our words; expect a lot of success (and pain) to come out of the Steel City this coming season.
CHEFCTER: If I was going to pick a club that people need to pay attention to, Killy, I think I'd want to keep my eye on Minnesota. These guys absolutely have to be taken seriously, having made a nice run in the playoffs of Season 15. Their front line is developing into a very formidable force.
WIPER JR: It's great to see some up-and-coming teams making pushes, Stabby. That's what this league is supposed to be all about. Everybody gets a shot!
CHEFCTER: It's fun to watch, Killy. Fans, keep your Spitter questions coming! We'll be happy to answer a few more as we go, but for now, let's discuss the next pick in line.
Our 25th pick last season belonged to a team that has been rated as one of the most lucrative franchises to own in all of Blood Sports across the world.
25. OAKLAND
Race: Dark Elf
Player Selected: L. Waddle (Texas Tech)
Skills: Block, Kick, Guard – 34 pts
Position: Lineman
Grade of Pick: B+
This squad is just one of those teams that you really enjoy talking about. They're not supremely flashy or sexy. They're not out flaunting their off-the-field night club incidents, similar to some other clubs. They simply come into work, and do their business of winning. It's part of the reason why they've been around as long as they have.
We could wax poetic upon their philosophies and successes over the past seasons, but that's not really what you want to hear just yet. Let's first dive into their roster and see how it stacks up from the end of their Playoff run.
ASSASSIN: In all likelihood, no. This team has played, as of the end of Season 15, 264 total games. The front office has employed exactly 1 player at this position. Nick Casa managed to play in a total of 29 games, racking up a total of 6 star player points for his career. Since then, the team has not enlisted a player here.
BLITZER: Maybe, but it might not be a top priority. There are already 4 players signed to the roster, led by the talented Matt Ashmead. All 4 players have already developed 2 skills each. They're pretty darn reliable, so unless someone of a solid, appealing caliber was available, this position may not be the best place to add valuable help.
LINEMAN: With 6 signed to the squad, and 4 of them being Rookies, this could be a place to add some quality assistance. Brandon Myers is the pride and joy of this position, offering some important assistance to the Blitzer core to get the job done.
RUNNER: No. The two that are in place, Justin Zipp and Maurice Jones-Drew, are excellent. It's even better that their skills are designed to compliment each other, making it an even harder duo to deal with. This is not the best place to add improvement, as there won't be a great deal available this late in the draft process.
WITCH ELF: It's possible, yes. They are permitted to employ 2, but only Shomee Yercok, who ironically never does what her name implies, remains on the team. It feels as though she has been around forever, but surprisingly has played less than 30 games going into Season 16.
It's a good sign for a team when you can come up with a lot less needs than holes to fill. This is the case here. This late in the draft, we'd like to find a quality Witch Elf, but we sure wouldn't be disappointed to add a quality Lineman here. Let's consult the drafting guide.
In the Skilled section, we comes across a few diverse possibilities, the best of which looks to be Michael Tolbert. He comes out of college with Block, Mighty Blow, Dauntless, and Shadowing. He would certainly add an excellent compliment to what the Blitzer core does.
In the Lineman section, Colby Whitlock seems to come rushing to the top of the remaining class., coming out with Block, Tackle, and a voucher for an extra training skill, which could even turn into some added agility. That could be quite a valuable asset for this franchise.
Head Coach ex-convict and the front office assess their needs, and elect to draft L Waddle out of Texas Tech. He comes on board with Block, Kick, and a training voucher for an extra skill of his choosing. The player can choose which trainer he uses, so he has a lot more options to choose from, instead of visting a “Lineman-only†coach.
BSDN likes this pick. When you get right down to it, a comparison of the two Linemen considered for drafting will result in, more times than not, a split vote across the board, especially when a special (double) skill comes into play.
There will be many coaches of various Elven teams, no matter which race, that will always try to get their hands on Agility. It's a gift from the Gods, they say. Oakland, however, addresses another excellent need with this pick: Kick.
A well-placed kick-off leads to a number of great advantages for a speedier club. It also offers numerous disadvantages to slower, less agile squads. In short, Kick becomes a rather under-rated weapon for faster, more agile clubs in Blood Bowl.
Ex-Convict elects to draft the skill over the agility. Normally, people would be in disbelief, but the player chosen is coming with both Kick and a double skill of choice, which in Oakland's case, will be Guard.
Having polled the folks that vote in BDSN, the vote was slightly in favor of Whitlock, if we were committed to drafting a Lineman. Waddle, however, provides some much needed support for this squad. This is a fine player to be adding to the mix. I know that I don't ever have to ask your opinion on the Kick skill, right Killy?
WIPER JR: It's such a weapon that nobody ever talks about, Stabby. Precision kicking can delay a squad's advance by a full turn or more. Add to that the Guard skill and you have the makings of an excellent support player.
CHEFCTER: Do you think it's more valuable than added Agility to a Dark Elf team?
WIPER JR: That, Stabby, is REALLY hard to say. It's the thing that so many coaches pray for when their players develop new skills. An AG5 player, no matter what position they play, holds tremendous value, but so does the Guard skill. I may put the Agility slightly higher, but it's really on a case-by-case basis with how useful to the team their other skills end up being.
CHEFCTER: It's an incredibly interesting question to tackle. So much so that we have asked Head Coach Ex-Convict to offer his insights into the process, and he kindly joins us on the program now. Coach, Stabbem Chefcter and Kill Wiper Jr. here, how are you doing today?
EX-CONVICT: I'm good, thanks fellas. It's a busy part of the year but it's always a pleasure to sit down with you.
CHEFCTER: Coach, we've been having a debate regarding the drafting of L. Waddle, a player who comes with both Kick and Guard, as opposed to Colby Whitlock, a player that has Block, Tackle, and a very attractive +AG. What are your thoughts, having chosen the former over the latter? Obviously, you don't seem to feel that +AG is as precious as some others do?
EX-CONVICT: Honestly, if "Mad" Al Davis was still running the team, may he rest in peace, we'd be having the opposite discussion: stats over utility. But through the years, the front office and I have learned a lot of lessons the hard way; first and foremost: you will fail the easy stuff and pull off the impossible. An agile player who hasn't learned how to Dodge in college is still useful, but is also prone to bringing down the team's collective efforts. Right now, our philosophy is very "we" oriented, and we try to coach our players to make the safe, smart moves. Thus when we had the opportunity to take a player who would help out the team in a number of areas, we made the selection.
CHEFCTER: Coach, was there any consideration to drafting a Witch Elf here over the Lineman?
EX-CONVICT: There's always a player in every draft that falls to our usual 16-24 range that would qualify as a "steal" in your draft analysis. Sometimes a player would fit very well as a Witch Elf on our team, and this year there were one or two options that were very intriguing. However we already have a high-priced Witch Elf on the squad, and adding another, while flashy and potentially awesome at times, just hasn't worked for us in the past. Again, with our team-based philosophy, we want to keep our team salary cap manageable.
WIPER JR: Coach, Kill Wiper Jr. here. You recall that I was a former head coach, and a front office executive for a rival team in your division. Tell us your own thoughts and experience on playing in what is considered to be the most evenly-contested division in all the NBFL?
EX-CONVICT: For a long team our division was referred to as the 'AFC Best' because of the quality teams here year in and year out. I still vividly remember the old Kansas City Cheaters team from early in my career; no matter what we did, we could never beat them when it mattered. A few years ago, I had the same feeling with the Undeadver team that was a huge pain in the ass. And of course, you can't say enough about our greatest rivals, the San Dogo Chompers. I believe that for three straight seasons we met on the last week of the regular season with three division crowns on the line, or at least a playoff birth. Playing against these teams twice a season has taken its toll and likely prevented us from going on deeper playoff runs, but at the same time our players and entire coaching staff have been better off for it.
CHEFCTER: How about a prediction for what lies ahead this season for Oakland.
EX-CONVICT: The rest of the season will be the way any NBFL campaign is: bloody, unpredictable, and will come down to the final week. We've had an ok first half, but if we want to represent the ravenous fans of the Black Hole in the playoffs, we're going to have to turn some of these ties into victories.
CHEFCTER: Coach Ex-Convict of the Oakland Elf Raiders, thank you very much for joining us today.
EX-CONVICT: Always a pleasure, gentleman. Remember to Just Win, Baby.
WIPER JR: That division is one of the more interesting to watch. The two top dogs have been slugging away at each other since the dawn of time. Now, Keggiemckill's Keggie City squad has a year of development under its belt. As the cherry on top, add a new Denvork squad, coached by the extremely competent JackassRampant. This division is shaping up to give us nothing but epic fights for many seasons to come.
Let's move on, and discuss last season's 26th pick, which belonged to a perennial death-dealer, making a home in the bash-tastic AFC North. It also happens to be the team we... well, I previously raved about, being the team that nobody hears about...
26. PITTSBURGH
Race: Chaos Dwarf
Player Selected: Sheila Shwim (Washington)
Skills: Multiple Block, Mighty Blow, Guard – 31 pts
Position: Chaos Dwarf Blocker
Grade of Pick: C
WIPER JR: This is a brutal, physical team. They absolutely demolish opponent's bodies and wills as they slowly grind down the pitch toward your end zone. It almost seems that all the Guard in the world won't even save you from the ferocity of this squad. It's no surprise that these guys have a good deal of 1-0 or 2-0 results in their favor.
This is a team in an advantageous position, in the fact that they don't seem to require a lot of help. Let's at least look at the roster to see where it can add some quality assistance.
BULL CENTAUR: Probably not, no. Big Ben Rape-you-berger is on the team, who happens to be a more-than-capable athlete, as many a college cheerleader will attest to. He's joined by Michael Vick, a rugged player who strikes fear into the hearts of the most rabid Curseland fans. There won't be much improvement to be made over either of these two players.
CHAOS DWARF BLOCKER: This is a possibility. They are the workhorses of the squad. These are the guys that aren't afraid to flex their muscles against any opponent. They are permitted to sign 6 players to this position. The team currently has its full allotment, though one player is a Rookie. This position is, arguably, the most important on the squad. It carries a high priority, so this will be close to the top of the list for needs.
HOBGOBLIN: In an exclusive breaking story, BSDN has learned that there is a top-secret training facility for Hobgoblins located down in the underdepths of the Pirates stadium. Exclusive secret footage reveals that they are subjected to a long, in-depth ritual of hazing, punishment, and gratuitous torture just to get their minds in line with what will be asked of them. After going through the “Chapter Black†program, Hobgoblins are ready to viciously dismember any opponent in their path. The real trick to the program is getting them to distinguish between friend and foe. We have been told that the NBFL will be investigating the Pittsburgh Chapter Black program. As details are made available, we will bring them to you.
Having said that, there are only 4 Hobgoblins remaining on the squad after their deep Playoff run, all of which are Dirty Players, to no one's surprise. The best of the remaining crew is Yanice Derrick, despite being saddled with a slight limp as well as some Broadway experience apparently. His strength will more than make up for his lack of distance running. There certainly is a need here for a reserve ball-handler, as well as some extra depth here.
MINOTAUR: It's possible, but less likely. The club does have their 5th generation player signed in the likes of Mean Joe Green V, but he is still quite a young player, only having learned Guard thus far. This would have been a stronger consideration if we weren't already so late in the draft. The chances of finding a difference-maker at this position this late in the draft are slim. It would more be perceived as a lateral move, rather than a seroius upgrade. That is why we consider the move “less likelyâ€.
The most pressing need is a skilled, healthy Chaos Dwarf Blocker. If nothing attractive is available, a Hobgoblin would be the next choice.
Looking through the draft guide, there really isn't a great fit to be found in the Lineman section. We then switch to the Blitzer section, and find a few suitable candidates. BSDN identifies the best option available here as CJ Bradshaw, coming out of school with Mighty Blow, Tackle, Piling On, and Guard. He would face a point reduction to the 35 spp area from 60. He offers support, with some added removal as a bonus.
The front office and Head Coach Nicodemus1, assess the same statistics that we have access to here, but chooses Sheila Shwim, a player coming out of college with Mighty Blow, Mulitple Block, and a regular skill of his choosing.
It's a curious pick, but not without its merits. The Mighty Blow and Guard are certainly attractive, but Multiple Block on an ST3 player is extremely situational. It strikes us as more of an odd trick to pull out of your bag on a rare occasion. To hit a “normal†block, he's going to require 4 assists, meaning everyone has to be positioned in a large scrum in one place on the pitch for it to be successfully employed. It just seems very situational, compared to a player with Guard and Mighty Blow that also Piles On.
In the end, we feel the correct position was addressed, but the player drafted was not the best fit that could have been selected for the squad. He's still a more than decent player, but we do not know if he'll have the effect that the franchise is looking for immediately.
CHEFCTER: Folks, don't go away. We're rapidly nearing the end of this season's show. In our next segment, I'll be dissecting the fearsome, relentless competitors from the AFC South.
WIPER JR: We'll also talk about last season's NFC West Champions, a group of docile lads who won't accept anything less than 2.5 touchdowns per match.
CHEFCTER: Hang in there, NBFL fans! The draft train is chugging on! Stay tuned. |
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Apojar
Joined: Aug 05, 2006
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| Posted:
May 06, 2016 - 00:22 |
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This breaking news:
BSDN whole-heartedly apologizes to all those hard-core NBFL fans who noticed that the Season 16 NBFL Draft Review and Analysis Show has inadvertently aired a segment early.
The network says, through its representatives, that the airing dates for the segments 25-26 and 27-28 were incorrectly switched in its program logs, causing a young, unpaid intern to air the two segments in the incorrect order. We are told by these same representatives that the unpaid intern, who should have been sacked previous to the show's airing, has now been sacked. Unfortunately, his immediate boss, the nighttime programming director, has also been sacked.
So, in brief, those responsible for sacking those that should have been sacked have now been sacked, and, we are told, have been replaced by well-trained, college-educated llamas named Ralph. |
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MrNomad
Joined: Mar 24, 2007
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| Posted:
May 06, 2016 - 01:45 |
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I like llamas myself  |
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Arktoris
Joined: Feb 16, 2004
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| Posted:
May 06, 2016 - 03:17 |
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Spanish speaking Llamas? |
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Hail to Manowar! The latest charioteer to DIE for bloodbowl! - Slain, by Ghor Oggaz |
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