Sutherlands
Joined: Aug 01, 2009
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 Posted:
May 06, 2016 - 03:32 |
 
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Apojar
Joined: Aug 05, 2006
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May 06, 2016 - 05:38 |
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CHEFCTER: We are back, NBFL fans! You're currently watching the Season 15-16 edition of the NBFL Draft Review and Analysis Show. I am your co-host Stabbem Chefcter. As always, I'm joined by long-time NBFL enthusiast and Kentucky Derby Hat Judge, Mr. Kill Wiper Jr. How's it going, Killy?
WIPER JR: Couldn't be better, Stabby. How's by you?
CHEFCTER: I'm well, Killy, thank you. As you fans know, we've been breaking down last season's draft picks, team by team, and assigning a grade for how well we think the new player will mesh into the team they were chosen by.
WIPER JR: Occasionally, we even get to interview a player involved with the decision process, be it a Head Coach, or a General Manager, just to get an insider's perspective to share with you, the fans.
CHEFCTER: We've discussed 28 of the 32 teams already in our previous segments. We're now down to our Final Four from last season's Playoffs.
WIPER JR: But first, before we jump on back in, I believe we have had another question Spit at us from the fans.
CHEFCTER: That's right, Killy. Thanks to Spitter, our social network media of choice, we're able to take questions from fans of any and all teams, and bring them to some of the top people in all of the NBFL for an answer. You ready for one, Killy?
WIPER JR: Bring it on, Stabby! I love these.
CHEFCTER: This one was Spit at us from @BanFranMan69. He wants to know if there's any kind of media bias against the NFC West, as it seems as though they don't get nearly as much air time.
WIPER JR: Not that I'm aware of, BanFranMan. We do try to at least give a general overview of each division as we provide our draft analyses. I'll probably be the first to admit that we have spent a bit more time covering the NFC North and South, as they each had two qualifying teams for last season's Playoffs.
This NFC West division is quite interesting. It's the division where, by FAR, you find the greatest collection of speed in all of the NBFL. Their division rivalries are more like track meets than the grinding, blood-curdling bash-fests of divisions like the AFC East. As such, the fans are drawn must faster to all the blood spilling that occurs, rather than the beautiful, finesse, speed games that these divisions play. I certainly won't say it's “rightâ€, but other divisions tend to garner more attention when your sport is named “BLOOD Bowlâ€.
Two of these squads are Skaven, which have a decent mix of death dealing through their Storm Vermin and Rat Ogres, and speed through their Gutter Runners. After that, you have the blazing agility of the new squad found in St. Louis. All that speed doesn't even bother to mention the Champions of the division, the Weed Hawks, who have a healthy mix of speed and strength of their own.
It may not garner a lot of national attention, but this really is one of the most exciting division races to watch. It wouldn't surprise anyone in the least to see two squads from this division making the Playoffs this year. It might be a stretch to figure one of them to win it all yet, but don't be shocked to see an NFC West team in the Championship match.
CHEFCTER: Interesting analysis, Killy. I'd love to see one of those squads make a deep run. I myself am a bit of an Arizona fan. Who would be your choice for a team that would make the playoffs that not many people are talking about, Killy?
WIPER JR: St. Louis. Agility, blinding speed, these guys have the entire package. Their roster is farily deep, and if these folks can stay healthy, it would not surprise me in the least if Head Coach animefreak2599 can pilot her team into a Playoff birth. What about you, Killy? You have a team that you're high on, but the media is somewhat blind to?
CHEFCTER: I do, Killy. I'm high on teams that have good coaching, and I feel like the new team playing in Denvork has one of the better coaches going. It wouldn't surprise me in the least to see them make a Playoff appearance.
WIPER JR: That pick takes some courage, Stabby.
CHEFCTER: You know how it goes, Killy. You go with what you feel, and I'm feeling like getting back into talking about some draft picks.
WIPER JR: Sounds great to me!
CHEFCTER: Our 29th pick belonged to last season's NFC Championship runner-up. This was the deepest these guys have ever appeared in the NBFL Post-Season.
29. MINNESOTA
Race: Necromantic
Player Selected: Brandon Carter (TCU)
Skills: Block, Side Step, Sure Feet, (+MA) – 51 pts.
Position: Ghoul
Grade of Pick: A+
CHEFCTER: We at BSDN have been long awaiting the arrival of the Wolfkings onto the National stage. This team has been around for quite a while now, but seems to always be over-shadowed by the dominance of their divisional rival Green Ball in the Playoffs.
This is an EXCELLENT team. They've been building a solid program for a few seasons. It's unfortunate that the roster hadn't completely gelled earlier, but now that they have, this team is here with a force. There really isn't anything that these guys don't excel at.
These guys were also rather fortunate to avoid a large amount of serious injuries to their team. Part of this, of course, has to do with these players being able to Regenerate. The rest is good coaching, as ritzi doesn't make it a habit of leaving his good players hung out to dry. Regardless, let's look at their roster to see if there's any place we can offer some assistance.
FLESH GOLEM: No. There are two very nice players signed to long-term contracts playing here in Matt Kalil and Kevin Carter. They are both very effective at clearing the way for the ball carriers to sprint to the end zone. We don't believe that this would be the place that could be upgraded most effectively.
GHOUL: This is a possibility, yes. The team is permitted to employ 2 players, but there is only one currently signed in the likes of Tim Little. He's an average player at his position, who has suffered a knee injury in the past, limiting his overall movement. This is a place where talent can be added with great effect.
WEREWOLF: No. The two players here, Iron Beagle and the venerable Adrian Peterson, are both excellent at what they do, which typically involves opponent destruction. Occasionally, it also involves carrying a ball, which is also second nature to them. This place would not offer the greatest upgrade via the draft.
WIGHT: Definitely not. There are two fantastic players employed here in Kevin Williams and Greg Jennings. Williams is an absolute STUD of a player. He really is nearly unstoppable when you put the ball in his hands, despite having a lingering ankle issue that seems to slow him down. Jennings, on the other hand, may have some of the most impressive efforts that the NBFL has ever seen. True to form, Jennings can easily "put the team on his back, doe...". There certainly would not be a player this late in the draft that could compete with either of these two players.
ZOMBIE: These are the bread-and-butter players for this squad. They are the wheels that everything rolls on. Minnesota currently employs 8 of them, with most of them being rather under-developed. The two captains of this position, Anthony Bar and Harrison Smith have 4 of the 5 skills that all 8 players possess, leaving 5 Rookies to fend for themselves. There can certainly be some welcome help added to this position.
Having dissected this solid squad, the two places we can add some solid assistance would be at the Ghoul position, or picking up a quality Zombie. This leaves us searching through the Lineman and Skilled sections in the Draft Guide.
Looking at possible Zombies, there are quite a few qualified candidates left to draft, each of which offers a slighty different direction to travel. Let's look at a few of these players:
(1) Harold Coldrock – Guard, Dodge – 18 pts.
A high-quality support-type of player that could easy lend himself to the front lines. He wouldn't be nearly as easy to knock down or remove from the pitch. Both skills do not come easily to a player at this position, making him quite a commodity.
(2) Trent Dilfer – Block, Dirty Player – 29 pts.
The team is currently lacking someone to place a well-targeted boot to an opponent's skull as he lay upon the pitch. He's rather close to being able to add another skill, making him fairly appealing to address a further hole that may appear.
(3) Julian Crockett – Dirty Player, Sneaky Git – 25 pts.
This is drafting a dedicated player to take on the fouling role, since no one is really established in this position for the team.
Those would be the 3 most likely draftees to add improvement, but let us also look at the Ghoul position.
Looking in the Skilled section, Brandon Carter quickly rises to the top of the prospect list. His skill set of Block, (+MA), Side Step, and Sure Feet lend themselves to a higher quality of receiver, as well as a late turn ball carrier with a bit of extra movement down the sidelines. He would phase in to the current roster very nicely for coach ritzi.
The front office assesses their options, and elects to draft Carter to play the Ghoul position. We here at BSDN feel as though this is a candidate for the Swipe of the Draft. Swipe is one of our sponsors, offering long-distance communication services covering nearly all of the Old World. When you're missing your family, take a Swipe at a loved one today!
WIPER JR: Last season's AFC runner-up was brought to us from the gauntlet that everyone knows as the AFC East.
30. NEW ANGRYLAND
Race: Chaos Dwarf
Player Selected: I.H. Whitlock (Texas Tech)
Skills: Block, Tackle (+AG) – 33 pts
Position: Hobgoblin
Grade of Pick: B-
WIPER JR: Unless you've lived under a rock for the past few seasons, you cannot hear any talk of bashing in the NBFL without listening to people complain about the Bulltrots. This squad is legendary in the fear it generates throughout the Old World, and it all begins with star Chaos Dwarf Blocker Willie McKillest. He alone has more CAS caused then some franchises from years past caused in their entire existences with 120. The wonderful part about that historical fact? He's not even the oldest player on the team!
The old timer of the squad is Cory Killin, having taken part in over 150 matches now. He hasn't skilled up as rapidly as some others around him, but he's the glue that keeps this squad together. He inches ever closer to joining McKillest in his Legendary status.
There is a bit of an oddity to their air of bashiness. When you get right down to it, there have been a number of times in the past where the roster hasn't even had a Claw player. People would think that Mighty Blow alone would not normally be enough to get the job done so effectively. How do they do it without an abundance of CPOMB?
Good coaching. Many people associated with the NBFL would even go as far as saying GREAT coaching, and it all begins in the front office with the General Manager and Head Coach of the squad, licker. The squad doesn't experience quite the same volume of player turnover that some of the other teams do. Part of that is decent armor values, but it takes appropriate game plans to know not to leave a star player in a precarious position.
These boys fell short last year in the Championship game to Cincinnati, who was on a mission to repeat as champions. Let's see if we can offer some assistance in the form of some useful draft advice.
BULL CENTAUR: Not necessary. There are two beauties on the squad in Steve Grogan and Tom Bulldry. Both of these players are stat-mongers as well as Blodgers. This is an extremely difficult combination of players to account for. Nonetheless, there's no need to seek improvement out of this position.
CHAOS DWARF BLOCKER: Seeing as how these guys are what the race of the team is named after, this may be a good place to always look for talent. As it stands now, half of the players in this position are Rookies. This would be a good place to add a bit more beef.
HOBGOBLIN: This is a very under-rated position on this roster. Not nearly as many Head Coaches give it the due respect that this position deserves. Licker, however, is not your ordinary Head Coach; the same can be said about Nicodemus1 out of Pittsburgh. There are 5 players on the roster here, all of which are rather nicely developed. There's always room for improvement, but it might not be the first place to consider.
MINOTAUR: A player here could certainly add a lot of beef to a squad, but that load of beef comes with a HEFTY TV price tag. The BSDN panel thought on this topic for quite some time. With a team built as soundly as New Angryland, the addition of a Big Guy may not be in their best interest at this point in time. You could develop two separate Chaos Dwarf Blockers for the price of hiring a single Minotaur. They may take a bit of time to advance in skills, but they are still a bit more reliable than the Wild Animal that comes with this position. This probably wouldn't be a place I would look to add assistance.
So, as it stands, we seem to be in need of either a Chaos Dwarf Blocker or a Hobgoblin. We'll be searching through the Lineman and Blitzer sections to see if there is an appropriate CDB.
Deep within the Blitzer section, we find a very useful player still in the draft room in CJ Bradshaw, who would come with Mighty Blow, Guard, Tackle, and Piling On. He will face a points reduction down from 60 to something in the 37-40 area, but still would be a very worthwhile investment into the team's front line.
As we search for a Hobgoblin, we discover in the back pages of the Draft Guide that I.H. Whitlock is still in the green room, awaiting a home. He comes out of college with 33 points, having learned Block, Tackle, and an optional upgrade to his Agility. Chaos Dwarves don't get too many AG4 players to come their way, so they're wise to try and take advantage of these situations as they present themselves. He would be a nice addition to a Hobgoblin core that is, for the most part, somewhat uniform in its approach. He can be a back-up ball-handler, as well as a viable player in coverage. He's a nice two-way player for Head Coach licker.
The folks at BSDN involved in the mock selection process were in large majority picking a Chaos Dwarf Blocker at this position in the draft. With half of them being Rookies, the position certainly could benefit greatly with some extra Guard or Mighty Blow, just to add that extra oomph to the team. It seemed to us that adding a CDB goes further to benefit the squad in the long term than a Hobgoblin does, albeit a player that is extremely agile.
In the end, the Bulltrots get a very nice player in Whitlock, but not, and again, this is the opinion of BSDN, the player that would have made the most impact or improvement. Given the history of success of New Angryland, they've certainly more than proved that they know better than we folks do.
CHEFCTER: Folks, we only have two teams left to break down! It's our last season's Super Bowl competitors. We'll be talking in-depth about all the positions on their roster, and looking to see where we can suggest some help to add.
WIPER JR: We also may have a lingering Spitter question to answer as well, so hang in there, NBFL fans!
CHEFCTER: That's right, Killy. We'll be back after this short break! Stick around! |
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Apojar
Joined: Aug 05, 2006
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May 19, 2016 - 02:38 |
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CHEFCTER: We're back, ladies and gentlemen! We have arrived at the portion of the show that many of you have been waiting for!
WIPER JR: What portion of the show is that, you may ask yourself? You might even ask yourself, “jeez, what show am I watching?â€
CHEFCTER: For those of you just joining us, you're currently tuned in to BSDN's coverage of the Season 16 NBFL Draft Analysis and Review. I'm your host, Stabbem Chefcter. As always now, I'm joined by former NBFL executive, as well as the Lindbergh Baby, Mr. Kill Wiper Jr.
WIPER JR: We're at the very last two teams in our review this season, meaning we get to talk about last season's Super Bowl. It's always unfortunate that one of these teams has to lose this game, given their exemplary performances throughout the season to reach this point.
CHEFCTER: We have to have a winner, Killy. I know that we like to think of everyone as being winners, but for our purposes, especially for this segment, we're going to be discussing last season's runner-up.
WIPER JR: Hard to consider these guys “losersâ€, Stabby. The managed to get their hands once again on the AFC Conference Trophy. It may not have been the hardware they wanted, but it's a trophy that is only awarded to one squad per year.
CHEFCTER: Admittedly, it doesn't have the same attraction is the Scumfarty Trophy, but it's still quite an accomplishment to obtain. Let's talk about the Season 15 runners-up, who happen to be former NBFL Champions themselves.
31. CINCINNATI
Race: Nurgle
Player Selected: Janaka Citrus (Oregon)
Skills: Dodge, Wrestle, Strip Ball, Side Step – 72 pts.
Position: Pestigor
Grade of Pick: A+
CHEFCTER: Congratulations go out to Head Coach Sutherlands, and everyone within the Bludgeoners organization for not only achieving, but maintaining a high standard of success and stability. These guys are truly inspiring to behold. We hope to continue reporting on them for many years to come at these late positions in the draft review.
This is an all-around fantastic team, so very well-rounded. There isn't anything that this team cannot excel at. This starts with great coaching, which this team has in spades. Sutherlands has firmly established himself as one of not only the NBFL's, but best Head Coaches in all of the Old World. He and his Coaching staff develop a well-rounded, utility-based squad that doesn't completely sell out in one aspect of the game. They draft and develop wonderful support. They hit well without having to draft any killer players. They rarely have any sort of ball-handling issues. Everyone has a role.
This is the part where we can really have fun. There really aren't any needs to address on such well-formed clubs. We'll now take a look at the roster, but we get to be like a kid in a candy store, getting to choose what will help us the most.
BEAST OF NURGLE: No. With Mark'em For Hunt on the squad, there won't be a more suitable player available through the draft. His skill set makes it increasingly difficult to break free from his Tentacles.
NURGLE WARRIOR: It's a possibility. The squad is permitted to sign 4 players for the position. Three of these boys are well-developed, but the fourth, DeShawn Willhit, is still young. He does, however, have a rare skill already added to his skill set in Diving Tackle. Though he is young, if there's a well-developed player available that can be equally as hard to deal with, it may be worth a peek.
PESTIGOR: This is also a possibility. This is the nearly the same scenario as the Nurgle Warriors. Three very good, experienced players are already signed. The fourth, however, is young and inexperienced. Tighter Hurtfoot has only developed Tackle so far in his career. Since this position can qualify in a few different sections, the chances that a quality player will be available to play at this position will be far greater.
ROTTER: Maybe. The team already has their maximum amount to trim out the roster, but an upgrade or two here would not be awful. 5 of the 7 players currently signed are nicely developed, as core players go. Adding a quality team member here may add that much more depth to this squad.
This is a wonderful problem to have for any NBFL franchise. It's nice to look around to pick a player who will be more of a luxury than a necessity. We'll be searching first for a positional, either a Nurgle Warrior or a Pestigor. If there's not a solid player available at these two positions, there's no problem whatsoever in upgrading in the Rotter area. Let's see who is remaining in the Draft Guide.
Our first choice would be to most likely add a Nurgle Warrior, which qualifies as a Strength player. At this late point in the draft, there are no available players to choose from, so our hopes of a Nurgle Warrior are dashed.
We'll move on to the two qualifying sections of a Pestigor, which are both Lineman and Skilled sections. We need to further understand the talent already on the squad to really evaluate what we should be looking for.
Two of our 3 players here, Andrew Whitewall and Marcus Hardon seem to have developed more on the removal/hitting aspect of the team. Our third player, Barry Leagle, is the primary ball-handler for the club, with a whopping 35 touchdowns thus far in only 39 matches. It would seem that we aren't looking for a hitter here, but more of either a support player, or some kind of ball pressure. Let's discuss some of the players that would a decent fit for this team.
Antoine Winfield (Clemson) – Wrestle, Tackle – 16 pts.
* She's a nice player, but she only offers a slight upgrade to the player already on the squad. It IS an upgrade, but we're hoping to find something a bit more substantial.
TJ Ricks (Old Dominion) – Block, Tackle, Shadowing – 35 pts.
* He's a nice player, but with only an MA value of 6, the Shadowing skill does not come into play as much as would be hoped for. It seems like a bit of an inflated salary to pay for a player whose skills cannot be valued as highly.
Tonatiuh (San Diego State) – Block, Dauntless, <skill> – 35 pts.
* This is also a nice player. He offers a bit extra beef in hitting, as he's not nearly afraid to mix it up with bigger foes. As we have already discussed, we're not really looking to add to the hitting department.
Janaka Citrus (Oregon) – Wrestle, Dodge, Strip Ball, Side Step – 72 pts.
* This is an excellent player. Adds a bit of extra reliability in Dodge, and able to harass the ball with both Side Step and Strip Ball. He's also fairly close to adding another skill to the arsenal, which could potentially be Guard or Tackle.
Elisha Olabode (Texas Christian) – Wrestle, Tackle, Strip Ball – 42 pts.
* Seems this is a “poor man's version†of previously mentioned Janaka Citrus. If you could have Citrus, it makes far more sense to draft him over Olabode. The only thing that would change our minds is if there was a spending/salary/TV cap put in place by the front office. Sutherlands has no such restriction.
Michael Tolbert (Old Dominion) – Block, Dauntless, Mighty Blow, Shadowing – 51 pts.
* This is certainly a step-up in class over previously discussed Tonatiuh. This player is rather good, but with the decent amount of removal already on the squad, this would not be the most beneficial choice to add to an already deep roster.
We would also like to mention, for the record, that Pestigors also qualify in the Blitzer category. Since we had already established that we were not looking for a player involved in removal, BSDN did not feel it necessary to even consider the section for drafting.
We've identified quite a few good players here, but the one that clearly stands out from the pack is Janaka Citrus, based on what we have identified as our needs. He would offer the squad the widest array of abilities, compared to what is already signed to contracts. Killy, what do you think of this pick?
WIPER JR: I had been one of the first in the meeting to declare this pick an A+. For a player like this to fall all the way to 31, into the lap of the defending AFC Champions seems unbelievable.
The other part that I really like about this pick, Stabby, is that there was the allure of a few more very good hitters out there to be drafted. The front office resisted the temptation to become more top-heavy in removal, and elected to pick up a far more team-oriented player to fit their well-rounded scheme.
There's no doubt that the higher-ups of this franchise are completely dialed in on the current state of their franchise, as it stacks up with the rest of the competition.
CHEFCTER: Well said, Killy. It seems that there's a great deal of forethought and knowledge invested into the draft by Cincinnati. We'd like to get some insight from the franchise, and who better to talk to than the Head Coach of the Bludgeoners himself. Ladies and gentlemen, please welcome Sutherlands to the program. Welcome, Coach. Pleasure to have you on board against this season!
SUTHERLANDS: *looking off-screen* So there she was, draped over my knee... what light? The one next to "On-Air"? So?... Oh. OH! Hi there, yeah. Glad to be here. We were wondering when you were gonna get to us.
CHEFCTER: First of all, on behalf of all of us here at BSDN, congratulations on your 2nd consecutive Super Bowl appearance.
SUTHERLANDS: I'll assume that's not some crack about us not winning the back-to-back championships. We had a lot of dedication to get there, and we're looking for a lot of dedication again this year. You ever been to a Super Bowl? Doubt it. Anyway, what was the question? Oh yeah, thanks.
CHEFCTER: Coach, talk to us about your recent draft pick. What was the process that led you to picking up Citrus?
SUTHERLANDS: Well we already have a great Beast, so we weren't looking there. We had a relatively rookie Nurgle Warrior, but there was absolutely nothing left in the Strength section by the time it got down to us in the Super Bowl section. We had some deaths in the Pestigor section last season that we had an opening for, and then there's always a Rotter. It's tough to field the Rotters anyway, given the 9 positionals that always take the field, so if we were going to draft something there, it had to be a bomb player. New Angryland took the last player we would even consider, but generally aren't looking for a Rotter to be a sweeper. Looking at the remaining players, Citrus really stood out. Already 4 skills, a core of Dodge and Wrestle, he really took the place of the ball fiends we lost last season. Really it wasn't even much of a decision. We were happy to grab such an outstanding player to round out our core at that position.
WIPER JR: Coach, Kill Wiper Jr. here. Talk to us about balance in the team. How easy or hard is it to find that magical balance that just seems to make everybody work so fluidly on a well-developed roster?
SUTHERLANDS: Well the first thing is that you gotta be able to hurt your opponents. Mike leads that, with the help of Domata and Marcus, and then we've got some Rotters who can make sure anyone going down stays off the pitch. Then you need some players who can assist a block no matter the opponents around them. You need a ball carrier. You need some people who can get the ball free. We have a threat for pretty much anything, so the opponents really can't employ a specific strategy. The secret is having a lot of talented players. You can't have such a strong strategy if you're playing with rookies. We actually would prefer another pure bash player on our team, but we don't get a chance to draft a player like that, so we get good utility players to keep us on the triple-threat. So that we don't get a repeat of last season, look for us to develop specific anti-agility talent. We plan on putting Tentacles on Devon Still and developing out DeShawn Will-hit with his Diving Tackle. [ed. note: At time of publication, DeShawn is now deceased.]
CHEFCTER: Coach, how do you approach the value of Rotters to a top-level Nurgle squad? Are they really just a throw-away position, or do they have a real value to a good team?
SUTHERLANDS: Oh they have value, for sure. Take a 40k base player and get him to drop the boot on a 200k player? Oh yeah, that's the stuff. Beyond that, we occasionally employ a Guard Rotter, but they just don't see much play. We very rarely need another Guard on the field at this point, so the Rotters are stuck with Kicking the ball and... kicking the balls.
CHEFCTER: Coach, what's your prediction this year for the AFC? Talk to us about your own division, and perhaps give us some insight as to what will happen in the AFC.
SUTHERLANDS: Oh, easy, us on top. You've got a Lizard team with a rookie core of Sauruses, and then some Dwarves and Chaos Dwarves, which we shine against. None of them will even be close. [ed. note: At time of publication, the Pittsburgh Pirates are trailing the Bludgeoners 58-56 for the division lead.]
WIPER JR: Coach, one other question. You've undoubtedly seen a lot of the picks made before your turn came up. Was there any particular squad that you feel like got a huge steal when their turn arrived? Anybody really bomb on their draft pick this season?
SUTHERLANDS: Well Keggie City made a great pick with that ape. Look at him to be a game-changer. I predict they're going to win their division based on that player alone. Tampa Bowl, on the other hand, took a player who, while no slouch, is not going to have a whole lot of impact on the game. For a second pick I think it really missed the mark.
CHEFCTER: Coach Sutherlands of the Cincinnati Bludgeoners, thank you so much for stopping by the program today.
SUTHERLANDS: You bet. Thanks for having me. *looks off camera* So as I was saying, I had this girl over my knee...
CHEFCTER: These guys have the potential to be a perennial fixture at the top of the Conference, Killy.
WIPER JR: I couldn't agree more, Stabby. Great coaching, great front office. Reasonable contracts so as not to destroy the salary cap. This is really a model franchise for the rest of the Conference to copy. Oh, and it doesn't hurt to have the collection of players that these guys have...
CHEFCTER: Right you are, Killy. If you're looking to emulate a top-level squad, this may very well be the team to use as your model. We wish the Bludgeoners the best of luck in the upcoming campaign. We look forward to interviewing you at the end of the draft once again.
CHEFCTER: Folks, don't run off just yet. We've talked about the rest, now we'll talk about the best. The final team on our NBFL Draft Review and Analysis Show is our Super Bowl Champion from last season.
WIPER JR: You may have heard of this franchise before, as they've been at this position in the show once or twice...
CHEFCTER: That's right, Killy. When we come back, we'll be speaking about that NFC squad that, for some reason, everybody loves to hate. Stick around folks and see who it is we're speaking of. |
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Apojar
Joined: Aug 05, 2006
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Jun 03, 2016 - 04:54 |
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STRIPPER: Good evening, ladies and gentlemen. My name is John Tripper, President and CEO, Chief Evisceration Officer, of Blood Sports Daily Network, or BSDN, as it has come to be affectionately known. We would like to thank you, the NBFL fans, for being loyal, devoted viewers of our NBFL Draft Review and Analysis Show for a multitude of seasons.
With the help of such educated, in-tune broadcasters like Stabbem Chefcter and draft expert Kill Wiper Jr, we have developed the draft process for the NBFL into a yearly star-studded event with immense popularity. Never before had people tuned in to watch people's names be called out, and walk across a stage to join their new franchises. With the devotion of these passionate, now-household names the NBFL draft is now something that people gather with great zeal to enjoy. You, the fans, now show a great interest in learning about the new players coming to join your favorite teams. This is, in large part, to the educated, interesting reporting brought to you by these two pioneers of Draft Coverage.
I would like to be the first to say “thank you very much†for everything you've done for BSDN, for the NBFL, and for all the families and friends out in the national audience. Our product, our brand, and our sport are all endebted to you for all of your efforts.
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NUFFELL: And my name is Blodger Nuffell, former commissoner of the NBFL. For many years, our product wasn't given any kind of National coverage by the media. We had the loyal fanbase tuning in for the regular season, as well as the playoffs, but we were never able to grab any kind of an audience in those “dark monthsâ€, before our pre-season programs began. With some innovative thinking, and ingenius marketing programs, we began to televise our Draft in hopes of capturing some form of market share from our loyal, dedicated NBFL fans.
As the early format began to take shape, a former player, coach, and executive of the NBFL, Mr. Kill Wiper Jr, approached us with a number of suggestions and ideas on how a program of this nature could take shape, and grab the viewer. After listening to his ideas, we scheduled a few more brainstorming sessions to hash out the basis for what viewers such as yourselves enjoy today.
With Mr. Wiper Jr in place, we began to kick the idea around to our current line-up of on-air anchors to see if anyone would be interested in hosting this brand new product. A young NBFL enthusiast, Mr. Stabbem Chefcter jumped at the opportunity. We had previoiusly tasked Mr. Chefcter to provide us with NBFL mock drafts, sideline reports, and insider stories. Within 10 minutes of his interview, his love and passion for the sport was easily visible. All of us in the NBFL knew that his passion, his understanding, his love for our product was exactly the type of person we wanted to bring our product to the viewers.
Thanks to the efforts of these two, we've now seen the birth of Draft parties around the country, where fans gather in their cities to await their team's draft pick's names to be read. We've seen the rise of early jersey sales, with fans hoping to be the first in their area to wear their newest player's number. There is a genuine excitement about the upcoming season taking place far earlier than it ever had before. We owe a great deal of thanks to these two broadcasting pioneers, Mr. Stabbem Chefcter and Mr. Kill Wiper Jr., for helping to exponentially grow our product from a fledgling seed.
Though our current commissioner Jeffro has a great deal of disdain for the on-air duo, we owe a great debt of gratitude to these two commentators. There's something inherently wonderful about finding two skilled journalists who will happily tell you they are fans first, broadcasters second. I would like to say, from the bottom of my heart that used to be there, thank you for everything you've done to grow this show, this sport, this entire franchise that is the NBFL Draft.
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CHEFCTER: We're back, sports fans. Thank you so much for hanging in there with us. You're watching the Season 16 edition of the NBFL Draft Review and Analysis Show. I am your host, Stabbem Chefcter, alongside my co-host and union Steamfitter, Mr. Kill Wiper Jr. How's it going, Killy?
WIPER JR: Hanging in there, Stabby. I love this league. Always makes me sad when we get to the end of these, as we have to wait a full season before we get to talk drafting again.
CHEFCTER: It does seem like an eternity between our shows, Killy. We'll have to do something in-season to fill the void.
WIPER JR: How about a “Where are they now?†segment for some of our previous draft picks?
CHEFCTER: I could be game for that. It's always nice to re-visit some of our previous program's delights.
WIPER JR: Are you ready to talk about our last team, Stabby?
CHEFCTER: You know it, Killy. Why don't you start us off here?
WIPER JR: I'd be honored to, my friend. Our 32nd, and final team to draft their first player was, indeed, our previous season's Super Bowl Champions.
32. GREEN BALL
Race: Slann
Player Selected: Dinkin Miller (Gardiner-Webb)
Skills: Tackle, Mighty Blow – 25 pts.
Position: Blitzer
Grade of Pick: B
WIPER JR: Congratulations once again to the Green Ball franchise and their fantastic Head Coach happygrue on their return to the top of the mountain. These guys have now won the most Championships in NBFL history.
The city itself is living up to its name of Titletown, USA, going back to its days of the Mean Hay Wackers franchise. The natives of the area are accustomed to their boys competing deep into seasons, and with good reason. The franchise is still the only publicly traded team on the Exchange. All the other NBFL squads are privately owned.
Green Ball was the first Slann team to ever arrive at the professional level. All of the NBFL was taken aback with the freakish talents that frogs had. You'd think you had them right in front of you when POOF! You'd blink, and they'd already jumped over you and found the end zone. The NBFL still hasn't fully been able to account for their abilites.
It's not like these boys don't have other abilities and talents working for them. They're certainly not one-trick ponies. Nonetheless, they need other skills to help them compete with such a diverse, talented conference and division. Let's analyze the roster as its stands at the end of the season, and see if we can find a place to infuse some quality help.
BLITZER: Yes. The squad is permitted to sign 4 players here, but there are only 2 remaining, one of which being the legendary Charles Woodson. This is a rather important position for Slann, so this would certainly be an area to address.
CATCHER: Yes. Once again, the squad is permitted to sign 4 players here, but only Rookie Randall Hopp remains on the team, due to incurred injuries. They ARE important to the club, as they are the primary scoring machines on the roster. This would be a position to consider upgrading.
KROXIGOR: Possibly, but in all likelihood, no. This position helps to take a lot of the punishment normally meant for the Blitzer core. They are some of the more reliable Big Guys that play Blood Bowl. They're a perfect compliment to Slann Blitzers, as the squad offers a great mix of Diving Tackle and Prehensile Tail, making it rather difficult to maneuver. Youngster Krox Matthews is on the squad, who has already learned the Guard skill. At this extremely late point in the draft, it seems very unlikely that a quality player will be remaining.
LINEMAN: Yes. These are the workhorses of the team. There isn't much that these guys don't do for the club. The position has been decimated with injuries here, with over half the currently signed players being Rookies. The pride and joy of the position here is Brad Jumps, who is one of the most difficult players to pin down. There is ample room to add some assistance to the roster here.
As you can see, the rigors of a lengthy regular season and playoff run can take its toll on even the best squads. There's a lot of assistance that can be added here, and in multiple positions. Let's see what we have available to select from. We'll discuss the best player available in each of the categories, and hope to find an appropriate match for Green Ball.
LINEMAN: Harold Coldrock (Oregon) – Guard, Dodge – 18 pts.
* This is a nice pick-up in support. Having a player that can Leap into cages and offer an extra Guard is a very nice option to have in your back pocket.
SKILLED: Michael Tolbert (Old Dominion) – Block, Dauntless, Mighty Blow, Shadowing – 51 pts.
* This isn't what you would typically look for out of a more offensive-minded position, but given the remaining talent on the board, this would be an excellent pick up for the squad. Consider that you'd be playing a Catcher as an added Blitzer, but with both Dauntless and Mighty Blow in play. Tolbert could easily Leap into a cage to cause havoc in the backfield. Even if the ball doesn't spurt free, he can follow the carrier around the field with Shadowing. This player can be a fairly potent threat to any offense out there.
BLITZER: Dinkin Miller (Gardiner-Webb) – Mighty Blow, Tackle – 25 pts.
* He's not flashy. He's not sexy. He just gets the job done. He's still a fairly young player, so he would get a chance to learn from and develop under Charles Woodson. He may only have two skills, but this particular skill set adds greatly to his utility.
BIG GUY: Chandon Hawkins (Western Illinios) – Guard, Grab, Juggernaut – 32 pts.
* He's not the most skilled player left in this category, but the skill set he uses lends itself the best to what the defensive side of the ball will try to accomplish. It's a necessity for Big Guys to come equipped whenever possible with Guard. Having a combination of Prehensile Tail and Grab will make it a bit dicier if he happens to get close enough to a defender.
Having identified the best player available at each position, BSDN feels that it is safe to eliminate drafting Coldrock at this time, as his level of utility doesn't necessarily stack up with the other 3 options available. Coldrock IS rather good, but for this particular scenario, the needs at the positionals will outweigh a quality Lineman.
This pick was probably the most difficult to decide within the BSDN group that votes on draft picks. A rather strong case was made for each of the remaining 3 draftees, featuring merits and any potential drawbacks such as past injuries, character issues, or any pending sexual litigation/lawsuits against fellow students on their campus, which seems to be a recurring theme as of late...
After 6 re-votes and passionate speeches made, the consensus was reached that Tolbert, the Catcher would be the player to offer the most assistance to the franchise right now. Not only would he function as a scorer, he would be able to function additionally as a seeker/sweeper, requiring only minimal assistance to achieve favorable blocks. He's a far more mobile Blitzer than normal, making him an excellent compliment to Head Coach happygrue.
This isn't to say that the other potential candidates don't work for the squad; BSDN tried to approach its choice by looking at who would offer the most valuable help right away. Adding a player that could potentially serve as both a Blitzer and Catcher really helps the franchise compete effectively on both sides of the ball NOW.
The front office looks at the same scenario in front of it as we do. They weigh their options, and decide to draft Dinkin Miller, the Blitzer with Mighty Blow and Tackle. This is also a very useful selection, offering a good amount of defensive utility, but is it the BEST player to add?
We had debated back and forth about these two particular players. Tolbert rose to the top of the list due to his two-sided utility. Miller, while still relatively young in his career, would be a slight development risk as he currently lacks Block.
The empirical formula had labeled Tolbert as having a 5.4 value advantage over the Blockless Miller.
CHEFCTER: Is there really a mathematical formula for calculating a player's value, Killy?
WIPER JR: We've developed a highly complicated, lengthy algorithm to evaluate and predict each draft prospect's future impact coming out of college. The algorithm gets calculated for each player and each team. That is to say, players may have a set value based on their skills. Each player will value differently to each franchise due to their current rosters and coaching tactics.
CHEFCTER: Should I safely assume that the details of this formula are not available for public consumption?
WIPER JR: That's correct, Stabby.
CHEFCTER: Fascinating, Killy. It's a very good dicussion to have. It may be best for us to listen to the viewpoint of the most important side of this discussion, which would be that of Green Ball. Joining us for an interview is the esteemed Head Coach of the World Champion Green Ball franchise, Coach happygrue. Coach, it's Stabbem Chefcter and Kill Wiper Jr. here. Thanks for joining us today!
HAPPYGRUE: My pleasure. But please - speak softly. I'm coming down from a team-wide multi-week bender after the untimely passing of Mr. Woodson, may he rest in piece.
CHEFCTER: Coach, congratulations to you, your coaching staff, and your entire roster for once again with the NBFL Championship. What a wonderful season you boys had. Tell us what it's like winning the big one. Does it ever become old hat, or does it mean less than the first time?
HAPPYGRUE: Every season I start out with the personal goal to guide these fine frogs to another NFC North championship... everything beyond that is gravy. This time is special, as it marks the end of an era. Next time around the team will be without any of the original starting lineup for the first time in franchise history. As for the NBFL Championship - that also feels pretty good, mostly because it was a narrow thing. Cincinnati has become a team to be feared, and we were eyeing the same pedestal - and they are a much younger and leaner franchise. If they had taken us down we'd have split 2 trophies each. As it stands, they may end up with 3 by the time they are as old as we are - but in the mean time it feels pretty good. 
CHEFCTER: We've been discussing the long debate that took place in BSDN's analysis room about your choice of pick. It was nearly split down the middle between Miller and Michael Tolbert, the Catcher that was available with Block, Dauntless, Mighty Blow, and Shadowing. Take us through your front office's reasoning. What pushed you over the edge to draft the younger Blitzer?
HAPPYGRUE: Blitz, baby, blitz.
WIPER JR: Coach, Kill Wiper Jr. here. Pleasure to speak with you, and congratulations. Is there any kind of secret to the sustained success your franchise seems to enjoy? You take more than your share of injuries year after year, yet when push comes to shove, you've been able to pen your name into the Conference Championship nearly every campaign.
HAPPYGRUE: Well, I think our opponents will call us lucky. There's some truth to that, but frankly I think we have been well on track to lose some key games and then had an opposing player stumble or the occasional bad call on the field lead to a wild upset when we were feeling down in the dumps. Next season with one big play-maker out and another injured (Brad Jumps), we might not be able to capitalize on the same kind of turnover success we've counted on in the past. I'm guessing our rivals might get some well earned revenge...
CHEFCTER: Coach, care to offer us some kind of prediction as to how you see the NFC playing out this season? Will it be Green Ball all the way once again?
HAPPYGRUE: I can't even guess. We are healthy as a team going into the playoffs with a nice seed... but the team morale is low. It will be anyone's guess as to how far we can make it.
CHEFCTER: Head Coach happygrue of the Green Ball Attackers, thank you for stopping in to the program. Best of luck to you and the squad going forward.
CHEFCTER: Well, folks. You've made it all the way through! We've come to the conclusion of yet another NBFL Draft Review and Analysis Show, which, we unfortunately must announce, is our last. Our network executives have informed us that the NBFL Draft Review and Analysis Show will not be picked up for future installments by BSDN.
WIPER JR: This is a sad, emotional day, Stabby. A sad day, indeed.
CHEFCTER: I couldn't agree more, Killy. I love what I do, and getting to do it with such as class act as yourself, despite the multitude of threats, hate mail, and even an abduction. I couldn't have possibly imagined a better production as what we have proudly put forth for multiple seasons now. Your final thoughts, Killy?
WIPER JR: The NBFL is my life; it's my passion; I'm fortunate to be able to add that since 1947, it's been my job and my way of life. My true hope is that I've been able to share even just a small part of that thrill, that desire, that love of this sport with you, the viewer. Hopefully, you'll be able to appreciate and love this wonderful league twice as much as I do. Who knows? We may be back sometime in the future as guests on some of YOUR programs or Bloodcasts. It has been an honor, a pleasure, and a privilege to serve you.
CHEFCTER: I echo the sentiments expressed by my dear friend, Mr. Wiper Jr. We have been truly honored to bring you a high-quality NBFL program for a number of years now. But, like the saying goes, all good things must come to an end. So, for the final time, this is Stabbem Chefcter....
WIPER JR: And Kill Wiper Jr.
CHEFCTER: ...wishing you all a wonderful and exciting NBFL season, and future, to come. From all of the folks at BSDN, it has been a pleasure serving you. We wish you all the best, and from the bottom of our hearts...
CHEFCTER AND WIPER JR.: THANK YOU.
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FRSHMN
Joined: Feb 25, 2013
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| Posted:
Jun 03, 2016 - 10:43 |
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happygrue
Joined: Oct 15, 2010
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| Posted:
Jun 03, 2016 - 17:27 |
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So long, and thanks for all the fluff!
But seriously, great job on the draft reviews. Always a good read. |
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Come join us in #metabox, the Discord channel for HLP, ARR, and E.L.F. in the box!
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MrNomad
Joined: Mar 24, 2007
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| Posted:
Jun 03, 2016 - 18:35 |
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Truly enjoy reading these. You do a wonderful job every season with them. |
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