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JellyBelly



Joined: Jul 08, 2009

Post   Posted: May 21, 2016 - 19:31 Reply with quote Back to top

Earlier today, after having survived on the Blood Bowl pitch for 67 games, the revered founder and captain of the Valdimar Eagles High Elf team, Felnor, died at the hands of the Orc blitzer Morose Morfug (apo fail, double RIP).

Even though he was a much celebrated figure among the elves of Valdimar, Felnor had a sombre and businesslike character and never let his fame go to his head. Instead, he focused his attention on building the local Blood Bowl team from the ground up; spotting and training talented local youngsters with a passion for the game (most of which have come to a sticky end on the pitch).

It's hard to pick out any individual games where Felnor stole the show, and he rarely scored a touchdown. Instead, he tended to play a more passive (but still very important) role, supporting his teammates in the thick of the deadliest scrums and orchestrating their often complex and detailed plays.

His contribution to the team, both on and off the pitch, will be sorely missed, and many an elven tear will be shed today on the Isle of Valdimar at his passing.

The elves of Valdimar also want to make it known that they are placing a bounty on the head of Morose Morfug, in honor of Felnor. They will donate $15 to FUMBBL if anyone can kill the greenskinned scoundrel (or force him into retirement).

Also, in completely unrelated news, Graendel, the team apothecary, has been promoted to lineelf with immediate effect. His first responsibility will be to man the line of scrimmage and protect the rest of his team-mates (I mean, learn valuable skills..) Smile

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bghandras



Joined: Feb 06, 2011

Post   Posted: May 21, 2016 - 19:42 Reply with quote Back to top

I love that unrelated news!

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JellyBelly



Joined: Jul 08, 2009

Post   Posted: May 21, 2016 - 19:46 Reply with quote Back to top

bghandras wrote:
I love that unrelated news!


Graendel wasn't quite so keen on it! Wink

_________________
"Opinions are like arseholes, everybody's got them and they all stink." - The protagonist, Fallout 2

"Go for the eyes, Boo! Go for the eyes!!" Razz
DarthPhysicist



Joined: Jun 14, 2015

Post   Posted: May 21, 2016 - 19:53 Reply with quote Back to top

I think I've worked with Graendel before. He was poison in the office and was always walking around pretending to know all kinds of herbal remedies. He once tried to treat my cough with some lawn clippings but when I told him to go to hell, he just put them under my chair.

I hope he catches a chainsaw to the face. What a douche.

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Using derivative humor since 2005.
JellyBelly



Joined: Jul 08, 2009

Post   Posted: May 21, 2016 - 20:12 Reply with quote Back to top

DarthPhysicist wrote:
I think I've worked with Graendel before. He was poison in the office and was always walking around pretending to know all kinds of herbal remedies. He once tried to treat my cough with some lawn clippings but when I told him to go to hell, he just put them under my chair.

I hope he catches a chainsaw to the face. What a douche.


Sounds like the same guy. Apparently, he forged his diploma from the High Elven Council of Healers as well.

A chainsaw in the face is a distinct possibility! Smile

_________________
"Opinions are like arseholes, everybody's got them and they all stink." - The protagonist, Fallout 2

"Go for the eyes, Boo! Go for the eyes!!" Razz
DarthPhysicist



Joined: Jun 14, 2015

Post   Posted: May 21, 2016 - 20:32 Reply with quote Back to top

JellyBelly wrote:
Apparently, he forged his diploma from the High Elven Council of Healers as well.


Yeah that's a front for the University of The Phoenix, an online High Elf university where its really just goblins dressed up like ugly elven "professors" with really low-resolution streaming. They'll do anything to make a buck. A friend of mine, he's a dark elf from Roxbury, got his degree from there and has only been able to find a job selling dopants before games to try and make unwitting Ogres fail their drug tests. Its not surprising that they also turnout terrible apothecaries. All they really dream of is opening up a medicinal marijuana store so they have an excuse to smoke all the hash they want.
Shakall



Joined: Feb 15, 2005

Post   Posted: May 22, 2016 - 00:49 Reply with quote Back to top

Great stuff mate. To bad it's in ranked and i can't hunt for that orc. Good idea to put bounty like that, loving it Smile
harvestmouse



Joined: May 13, 2007

Post   Posted: May 22, 2016 - 00:59 Reply with quote Back to top

It might be a good idea to make a blog about the bounty.
JellyBelly



Joined: Jul 08, 2009

Post   Posted: May 23, 2016 - 03:09 Reply with quote Back to top

harvestmouse wrote:
It might be a good idea to make a blog about the bounty.


done! Smile

_________________
"Opinions are like arseholes, everybody's got them and they all stink." - The protagonist, Fallout 2

"Go for the eyes, Boo! Go for the eyes!!" Razz
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