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Joined: Apr 04, 2008

Post   Posted: Oct 03, 2017 - 14:36 Reply with quote Back to top

What a game. Excitement, passion, the fans had come out to see their heroes play.

The agility and flash of the elves vs. the bloody mind(less)ness of the ogres. and bloody it was. Watched on by the likes of Dirty Harry (its rumoured even Morg turned up to watch the game, personally invited by Harry as an equal), Eastwood set out on mission to prove he is the greatest Bro that EVER Lifted.

Meanwhile with some trickery and subterfuge plus the hiring of Grotty (another ag4 star), the Ogres got a first turn td, and then followed this up with a coast to coast hail mary pass score, confounding the elves.

Unfortunately buoyed by this success and too confident Voodoo fumbled an equalising HMP pass right in front of the terrifying Nienna who put the game out of reach as she worked her special brand of elven magic, securing the lost ball and scoring again. Disheartened hired star Brick couldn't muster the strength to get a final TTM TD in the final moments of the match.

As the final whistle blew, c9805222 turned to Konder and wordlessly handed over a large sack of clinking coins...

Back in the changing room, even the ogres cowered from c9805222's wrath, how could they on such a landmark occasion watched over by those that had made the team great in the first place, fail at the final hurdle when so much had already been done to secure victory against this team of elves, a team depleted and missing their iconic captain no less. Smash went to say something and c9805222 popped his hip out for him a second time in two weeks before stalking from the changing room as the ogre's screams echoed throughout the stadium, sending the masses of fans scurrying for cover.

The Sluggers new season was nearly upon them and he was now in the mood to put them through some proper pre-season training.

But first there were some witch elves to punish...


Joined: Apr 04, 2008

Post   Posted: Oct 04, 2017 - 09:17 Reply with quote Back to top

After their 100th match was in the books, the Archers of Avelon decided to take a bit of a vacation. Each went their own way. Kyteth was home with the kids, Revwe went hunting with Nienna, and Throthradir went site seeing on the Mandalian Coast. Even Corbis took a break by shuttering the Tarnished Crown and visiting relatives in the Kathian Mines.

However, Kondor was not seen for months. The witch elf Hera turned up for the next ogre match so she was not responsible for the extended disappearance. When the Archers finally reconvened practice three month later, he was unshaven and very unkempt. Game 100 had shaken him and the witch elf encounter had left him a bit unstable.

The first game after the hiatus was versus the High Elf team Whalelf Ballers. For some reason people always expected Coach Mr. T to be an Orc with a mostly shaved head. But it is not the case. Rather Mr. T is a coach you would never expect to see. He looks more like an accountant than a team manager. However, his methodical approach to the game had afforded him a measure of success. Today, Nuffle laughed at his statistics.

The Ballers could not dodge, they could not pass, and they could not catch. Even a simple sprint lead to tripping and injuries. Therefore, they resorted to fouls. A seafaring dark elf had been designated to officiate the match. While he hated both teams, he must have been a proponent of whaling. In all, he tossed five Ballers overboard for the ten fouls they committed. Quickly calculating the odds of that happening almost caused Mr. T to throw his abacus at the referee.

In the meantime, Revwe went about her business and put five points on the board to claim the One Turn Scum Fumbbl Badge.

As the Ballers retired to the changing room, Mr T was heard muttering about lies, damn lies, and statistics.


5-0 win vs high elves. https://www.fumbbl.com/p/match?op=report&id=3933172

Joined: Apr 04, 2008

Post   Posted: Oct 04, 2017 - 11:53 Reply with quote Back to top

The epic encounter between the Archers and the Lifters took place in mid-summer. For the next three months the Archers took a vacation, but Coach c98 went to work. While the Archers had faced both the Lifting Bros and the dark elf Titans, only the ogres had managed to pull off a draw. That needed to change.

Sure, betting on matches allowed c98 to rake in gold, but the unbearable high elves needed to be put in their place. To make sure that happened, he ordered all of his teams to the gym.

The titans were quickly in fighting shape with Helios stepping up to provide some muscle while ‘Big Daddy’ Cronus served as the team hammer. The RNG forgotten team was not far behind. The humans had not yet faced the Archers the but team captain Dirty Harry was ready to make someone’s day. As always, the lifters were ready to brawl.

Yet every player under contract to c98 was shocked when elves got the call to play. Eastwood considered them little more that mortal, and Cronus saw them as illegitimate grandchildren that were best forgotten.

C98 looked at Hercules. “More than Mortal will take the field tonight. Make sure that your lads strap their jocks and gauntlets on tight. I want to see blood and points.”

Hercules smiled. “You will not regret the choice. I’ll bring the gauntlets and while Electra probably will leave the jock in the changing room, I have a feeling she will put a point or two on the board.”

Hercules headed to the clubhouse and the murmuring ensued.

“Just hush!” shouted c98. “I’ve coached more than 180 games since I last faced the Archers. I chose More than Mortal because they can get the job done. If they fail, I will send someone else. But no matter what, each of you will probably get a shot at the Archers at some point so I expect all of you to be ready.”

The captain of the Bad Boys started to protest only to get popped in the mouth. “I don’t expect you orcs to think. Just do as yer told.”

So it was that with a hint of quiet confidence, More than Mortal took Avelon Stadium by storm upsetting the Archers and putting their names in the center of the blood bowl stage. Twice Electra made a pass to Eros that resulted in a score, and twice Hercules brought pain to the Archers. Vardan’s death marked the seventh time a c98 coached team killed an Archer of Avelon. It also placed him squarely on the Archer Kill-Team’s hit list.

As the Archers of Avelon retired to their changing room, they were scoreless, stunned and left to figure out how an unknown team was now commemorating a win in the middle of Avelon Stadium.

2-0 loss to pro elves. https://www.fumbbl.com/p/match?id=3933802

Joined: Apr 04, 2008

Post   Posted: Oct 05, 2017 - 11:03 Reply with quote Back to top

It is a misconception that a great distance must be covered to find the realms of chaos. In truth, chaos is never far away. Take for example the chaos team Exalted Court. The stadium they called The Courtyard stood on the edge of the Badlands and was an easy ten day journey East from Avelon.

Nevertheless, most travelers steered clear of the region due to the infestation of Brigands and Marauders. The Archers however, traveled wherever they chose. Only a large band of orcs would dare challenge a dozen or more well-armed elven marksmen.

Today, they rolled right up to The Courtyard. Clearly it had once been a great stadium that hosted a successful but now long forgotten empire team. The façade had crumbled but the structure stood strong. Likewise the team that played here was ugly but it was built on a strong foundation. And just in case anyone doubted, the Exalted Court was unbeaten in their young professional existence.

As usual, in hostile territory, the Archers sent Kondor to the front door of the stadium first. As the coach he would make first contact, but as a human, he would serve as bait.

Once he was a stone throw’s distance from the main gate, it began to creek open. Through the opening came the largest beastman Kondor had ever seen. He would have thought the creature was a minotaur had it not possessed curled ram horns. Though the horns prevented any effort to wear a helmet, the beast was clad head to hoof in the Chaos Armor of Slaanesh.

“Hail Archers of Avelon!” came the greeting from the monster in the common tongue of the empire. “I am Coach Guardikai. I assume you fancy a match?”

“We do.” Shouted Revwe from the lead wagon before Kondor could speak. “Direct us to our lodgings. We will have no further dealings with your kind. Negotiations will go through Kondor.”

Annoyed at being rebuffed by an elf, Guardikai snorted and stomped the earth. “That suits me well. Go through the South gate. Your lodgings will be the rooms on either side of the corridor. See you on the pitch!”

Kondor donned a horned helmet and strode to Guardikai. Lowering his head, he offered the beastman a traditional greeting. Shocked at the human’s display of good manners he reciprocated and met the offered head-butt with just enough force to show respect without the danger of breaking Kondor’s neck.

Kondor found himself on his backside but chose to take it one step further. He stood and again lowered his head in a traditional challenge. The stunned chaos coach lowered his as well and delivered a blow slightly stronger than the first.

Kondor was better prepared for the blow and this time it only knocked him to his knees. He was slightly dizzy but he again stood. This time he took a step backwards and spread his arms. “It seems you remain dominant in your abode. Will you be so kind as to show me around the premises?”

The beastman stepped forward and extended his hand to clasp Kondor’s in the traditional human form of greeting. “I will do so joyfully, and I hope you will accept the full hospitality of Slaanesh. And if you so choose, there is room for you among her followers.”

Guardikai turned and led the way through the main entrance. Once inside, Kondor was stunned by what he saw. The stadium was not only where the Exalted Court held games, it was the decadent abode for the followers of Slaanesh. Slaanesh devotees lived within the stadium and dedicated the building as a perverse temple to the pursuit of earthly gratification, hedonism and pleasure simply for its own sake.

Most of the denizens were beastmen or minotaurs, but a large faction were humans and there were even a few dwarfs and dark elves. Each race occupied a section of the stadium and they pitched their tents squarely upon the bleachers. On game-day the tents were dismantled so as to not block the view of the field. The rank of each house was easily understood by its proximity to the field and the size of their tent.

The dominant house was clear. At midfield on the home team sideline stood a magnificent stable. The posts were made of eight foot tall mahogany beams with an entrance directly onto the field. From his vantage point at the entrance of the stadium, Kondor looked down on the field and could clearly see the activity within the black, wooden corral. The beastmen within were not interested in gold or jewels, but stacks of weapons and armor were piled high. At least a dozen skaven and human slaves bustled around catering to the whims of the beastmen and beastwomen. Even the bedding made from straw was so clean and pure it gleamed in the sun.

Still, the beastmen were only the most dominant race in the arena, and the division between races was very fluid. The dwarven area was gilded while the dark elf section was velvety and seductive, and the human section was speckled with various proclivities.

Yet the separations were not always based on race. Some areas seemed to cater a preferred overindulgence. There were tents and stables dedicated to greed, gluttony, slothfulness, and lust. The most prevalent of these was clearly lust located in the Southern end zone from which came the beast and human sounds of pleasure and pain.

Looking at the thousands of revelers worried about nothing but their own desires, Kondor temporarily gave in to the temptations.

“Honorable Guardikai, will I be required to be on the sideline for the game tomorrow, or will it suffice for me to simply be in the building? If I choose to watch the match from the vantage point of the stands, will I fulfill the requirement that a Coach attend the match for each team?”

Guardikai smiled broadly. “It would be against the Slaanesh creed to require a guest to do anything but follow his own pleasures.”

“Thank you Guardikai.” Said Kondor. “Please do not allow the wagon train to leave me hear after the match unless I decide to stay.”

Two days later, Kondor forced himself to leave the stadium and join the wagon train. As Guardikai had hidden the mules, the Archers of Avelon had been forced to set up a small camp outside of the stadium to wait for Kondor. Corbis did not rejoin the team until three more days had passed. Only then did Guardikai returned the mules.

Neither Kondor nor Corbis learned the final score of the match until they returned to Avelon and caught a three week old copy of the Avelon Gazette.

2-0 win over chaos. https://www.fumbbl.com/p/match?id=3934455

Joined: Apr 04, 2008

Post   Posted: Oct 05, 2017 - 14:00 Reply with quote Back to top


As Kondor reached for the door handle to the tavern called the Tarnished Crown he had a very bad feeling. It was too loud. There seemed to be a riotous festival going on. He was never invited to parties, and all the liquor that flowed made him nervous. Still, Corbis said there was important business to take care of so it was time to find out what was happening.

When Kondor opened the door he knew coming was a mistake. On the wall opposite the door hung a giant Fumbbl Badge with the word Fan Factor printed under it. Spinning on his heels, Kondor turned to leave only to run smack into Squiglet, who nudged him back inside.

When his eyes adjusted to the light he looked around and saw a room full of coaches he had coached against and the entire Archer of Avelon Team.

AKA Renton put a hand on his shoulder. "We are here to see you get tattooed. How fun is that?"

Kondor began to protest and tried to pull back to the door. Unfortunately, c98 took hold of his other arm and led him to the bar where he was greeted by Coach Rbthma.

The rotter had a needle gun in his hand and clearly meant to use it. Through Coach Rbthma's slurred rotter speach Kondor thought he understood "Don't worry, I washed with soap. Plus I don't think I have intentionally infected anyone in years."

Arktoris patted Kondor on the right side of the rib and told Rbthma to put it right there.

In the background, Malmir could be heard shouting over the jeering crowd. "Everyone raise your glasses to the Archers of Avelon. May they lose their next 50 matches at our hands!"

The jeering got louder, but all Kondor could hear was the buzz of the needle gun in Rbthma's hand.

Joined: Apr 04, 2008

Post   Posted: Oct 20, 2017 - 07:39 Reply with quote Back to top

Within the heart of the Badlands stands the fortified city of Hightower. While it was built as a military outpost, the presence of soldiers and their stipends soon brought merchants who camped outside the city walls. The merchants brought slaves and began farming beets and turnips as they were the only crops that grew in the region. Eventually a moderate sized population developed outside of the confines of the citadel, and in the old world, where you find inhabitants, you will find a blood bowl field.

Today, the pitch has been turned into a minor stadium and the merchants have banded together to sponsor a team. The coach was chosen from the merchant ranks and based on his penchant for fixing games, C98 was clearly the best choice.

The next difficulty was choosing a name for the team. Living in the Badlands, the outpost and its denizens felt forgotten by the emperor. That fact had its advantages and disadvantages but it was a sore point for the directors of the city. They bantered about team names like Forgotten of the Crown but in the ended decided that such a blatant team name would draw unwanted attention from the Emperor. They settled on the Team That the Ring Forgot. Unfortunately the paperwork was misfiled with the commissioner’s office and officially recorded as Team That RNG Forgot. Sure they could have paid to fix the error but the miserly merchants did not want to spend another piece of gold on the matter. Besides, the error seemed fitting for a team in a place that no one would remember.

The only reason Kondor even knew about Hightower was because C98 mentioned that he coached a team in the Badlands. Since the teams schedules happened to coincide, the Archers of Avelon made a stop in the town on their return trip from the Exalted Court.

Seeing simply a human team from a back water town, the Archers of Avelon took the match thinking it would be easy money and a good tune up game. They were wrong. C98 had the humans in top fighting condition and they quickly set about dismantling the Archers. While the archers had never been a truly muscular team, it was shocking that the humans threw twice as many blocks and managed to drop five fouls on the Archers.

When the Archers finally climbed back into their wagons for the ride back to Avelon their egos were bruised and Kydeth’s leg was broken. They told themselves that they would never underestimate humans again. Kondor smiled knowing that soon they would find excuses for why they lost the match when the truth was they had simply been outplayed.

3-2 loss to humans - https://www.fumbbl.com/p/match?id=3935570
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