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thoralf



Joined: Mar 06, 2008

Post   Posted: Jan 26, 2018 - 05:43 Reply with quote Back to top

happygrue wrote:
I can't find anything to argue with! ;)


I can.

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There is always Sneaky Git.
mrt1212



Joined: Feb 26, 2013

Post   Posted: Jan 31, 2018 - 18:26 Reply with quote Back to top

mrt1212's first blush divisional ranking

NFC South:

1. Tampa Bowl Smokeaneers (I'm the best, I'm the best)
2. Carolina Panzers (Bullroarer4 won division last year)
3. Nawlins Lost Saints (Brasky has a still in the big sleazy now! WOOWOO!)
4. Atlanta Falchions (jmonforton's first season)

AFC South:
1. Warpston Oilers (AFC Championship Winner)
2a. Tennessee Titanz (The Orcs finally listen to coach Arktoris and try harder)
2b. Jacksonville Jagas (Team on the rise)
3. Indianapolis Bolts (Wolvezzz first season)

NFC North:

1. Green Ball Attackers (Hail to the king baby!)
2. Minnesota High Kings (But not this king)
3. Chicagovania Provocateurs (Relezite will do amazing things but also have some epic fails)
4. Detroilet Lions (Poor Lorebass)

AFC North:
1. Cincinatti Bludgeoneers (Papa Nurg ain't going nowhere with Sutherlands at the helm)
2. Baltimore Mavens (Go Flacco or Go Home)
3. Khleveland Khrowns (Jeffro is back in the game but Khemri are hard)
4. Pittsburgh Squeakers (Ignatzami has a fresh team and will need to find their footing within the division

NFC West:
1. Seattle Werehawks (Kevin Williams, is there no respite from your ballerness?)
2. Arizona Kill Em All (MenonaLoco 2nd season with the team and the future looks bright)
3. San Foulcisco 69'ers (Neck and neck with Arizona and tons of experience to draw upon)
4. Los Angeles Scrams (Kzarik starts a new rat franchise in LA - like ingatzami in Pit, might take a few weeks to find footing)

AFC West:

1a. Devork Bronkorks (JackassRampant returns a damn impressive squad and only has to look out for...)
1b. San Dogo Chargers (Kryten, for all his nonchalance will be neck and neck with JR)
2. Oakland Elf Raiders (3rd banana unless they really work it Beast Mode style)
3. Keg City Barbecue Chiefs (#1 Draft pick thats big, bad, and buff and 1 SPP from a skill. Should make some more noise this season and improve upon last but unfortunately still has to face off against a difficult division)

NFC East:

1. New York Deviants (Doofr's 2nd season and coming off a wildcard berth and win)
2. Weaklington Frailskins (Can't keep a good elf down)
3a. Ivalice Plowboys (Antithesisoftime swoops in on the vacuum in Dallas and keeps it Cdorky as heck)
3b. PhilaWAAAGHphia Iggles (Arcayn has a fresh start in Philly but faces a challenge of good coaches with good teams.

AFC East:

1. New York Wrecks (Roboycoyote's Chaos keep getting better and better and he won the division last season)
2. Buffalo Psycho Billies (Namloc is fresh to the league and is rocking the always competitive Necromantic team)
3. Miasma Dolphlegms (DrPoods finally gave in to Papa Nurgle's courting and is in lurrrrrrve with them. He wants to maaaaaaaaaarry them, oooh la la. Expect a much better season outta Miami)
4. New Engerland Cheatriots (Valen does Nuffle's work bringing chaos and excitement to the league in a pint sized package. He may not be able to guide the wee gobbos to the Superbowl but he always provides a satisfying thrill and sometimes even pulls off the big upset. I don't have high hopes for their season but with an AG5 saw on board...it'll be fun as heck!)
MenonaLoco



Joined: Jan 05, 2016

Post   Posted: Jan 31, 2018 - 18:40 Reply with quote Back to top

Time is up, Kevin Williams!!!
"I want to kill him" - "me too", thats how our new me-too movement was born in the division, and it spreads over the league.
This said, division will be ours, MEEHH MEEHH MEMEMEMEEEHEH!! Goat-power!!
ArrestedDevelopment



Joined: Sep 14, 2015

Post   Posted: Jan 31, 2018 - 19:24 Reply with quote Back to top

mrt1212 wrote:
Papa Nurg ain't going nowhere with Sutherlands at the helm


Just like his graduates, eh?

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mrt1212



Joined: Feb 26, 2013

Post   Posted: Jan 31, 2018 - 19:42 Reply with quote Back to top

ArrestedDevelopment wrote:
mrt1212 wrote:
Papa Nurg ain't going nowhere with Sutherlands at the helm


Just like his graduates, eh?


Ohhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh snap.

Luckily Papa Nurgle is the forgiving type.
Sutherlands



Joined: Aug 01, 2009

Post   Posted: Jan 31, 2018 - 19:57 Reply with quote Back to top

mrt1212 wrote:
ArrestedDevelopment wrote:
mrt1212 wrote:
Papa Nurg ain't going nowhere with Sutherlands at the helm


Just like his graduates, eh?


Ohhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh snap.

Luckily Papa Nurgle is the forgiving type.


Negative. AD just made the hitlist. 20 fouls next game!
Jeffro



Joined: Jan 22, 2009

Post   Posted: Jan 31, 2018 - 20:51 Reply with quote Back to top

mrt1212 wrote:

AFC North:
1. Cincinatti Bludgeoneers (Papa Nurg ain't going nowhere with Sutherlands at the helm)
2. Baltimore Mavens (Go Flacco or Go Home)
3. Khleveland Khrowns (Jeffro is back in the game but Khemri are hard)
4. Pittsburgh Squeakers (Ignatzami has a fresh team and will need to find their footing within the division


I will take this as a challenge. Both to not finish fourth (fingers crossed)... and in an attempt to knock Shitcinasty from the perch they must be tired of sitting upon. Prepare thy boiled loins, Suth!! Twisted Evil
Relezite



Joined: May 21, 2007

Post   Posted: Feb 02, 2018 - 19:30 Reply with quote Back to top

Cleveland vs Carolina
Week 1

Pre-Game:

Cleveland - Jeffro 1890
Carolina - Bullroarer4 2480
Inducements - 2 Bribes + Ramtut
Fan Advantage: Carolina: +1
Kick-off Roll: Carolina: Recieving

1st Half:
Flush with a thick rookie roster, Jeffro elects for inducements of strength and damage. He sets a wide line of wrestle skeletons, then spreads his back into a NIN-wall formation, strength forward to bait out some early entanglement. Bull responses with a 9-on-the-line tango, including his overachieving lawnmower.
Kick-off Roll: Nice Weather
Weather stays the same, ball goes out of bounds, with the touchback going to the rookie runner. Bull takes the ball to the north wing and precedes to tear up the line, but deals no damage. The dozer blitzs a draft TG, hoping for a quick break, but settles for a push instead. Jeffro entangles a couple dwarves on the south then throws a couple empty blocks at the dozer. Bull moves the ball soft-center and shortens the pitch to 10-10 by blocking then fouling-KOing a rookie guardian but also failing a blitzer dodge into a BH and ended turn. Jeffro finally gets the machine down, but a strong foul is met only with a stun and an ejection that is bribed away. Bull takes the opening on the south and drives up for a cage and foul, but this foul is even worse than the last and the draftee from UCONN earns his first ejection on his second foul, arguments falling on deaf ears. This ejection opens up a shot on the ball! Which Jeffro takes with Ramtut, who knocks it free AND scoops it up, but isnt in the greatest position. He attempts to move some support up, but trips his dirty player into KO at the end, setting the count to 9-9 at the beginning of the 4th turn. Bull pushes Rammy around a bit, and gets a KO on a blitzer to reach 9-8, but wastes his reroll on a 1-die surf attempt and loses his ability to hit the ball with his slayer safely. Jeffro starts his turn with a good position, but spends his reroll trying to chain push Ram-Ram free and skull skulling a follow up block. Deathroller earns his paycheck by breaking out of his TZ, hitting Hamgut and wounding him (regen: successful), and allowing Bull to pick up the ball and put it in a near unassailable spot. The stall plays out as expected, and the coaches produce no extra damage in the remaining turns.
End of Drive:
Carolina 1-0
Turn 8/7
KOs: Only blitzer stays out.
One-Turn: QS, failed OTT, no damage, rookie throw-ra ejected
KOs: Nothing
2nd Half:
Jeffro's drive. Bull sets up in the standard Open-Faced Slamwich defense, and Jeffro plays 8 up, draftee throw-ra in the back with a couple of skeletons to cover.
Kick-off Roll: Brilliant Coaching: Carolina
Jeffro's KOR puts him in good control of the ball right off, then comes out SWINGING, killing a rookie dwarf lineman and MNG'ing a more experienced one (no APO on either). A foul is met with this teacher's-pet ref though and the last bribe is exhausted with no effect on the damage. The pick up fails neatly, but Jeffro is up 11-9 and the ball is nearly unassailable. Bull takes some ineffective blocks, then gambles on pushing his ag4 running into 2TZ and the ball, which works! Not for any meaningful amount of time though, and the ball is set free, but Jeffro suffers another ban before he can get it (10-9). Bull gets to work and takes out a skelly and strong TG to make it 9-8 and the tables have flipped. Jeffro knows which side the Khemri's bread is buttered on and throws a foul (no effect) before grabbing the ball and running south with it. Jeffro backs up to consolidate ahis drive and deal more damage, but nothing is paying off. He moves north, but a lot more shallow cage-work this time, and it costs him when the throw-ra is KOd and the clock is too advanced to recover. Bonus foul puts the star runner out a game too, but the game is over.
Final Score: Carolina 1-0

Relezite's Extremely Correct and True Opinions (RECTOs):

RECTO 1: Inducements: Double bribes is pushing it with 2 DPs. Babes seem like a steady way to keep all the relevant positions in the game. Didn't matter either way.

RECTO 2: Jeffro Turn 4: Its a tough situation to gauge. Position is looking good after the fluke catch and bad dwarf blocks. Set up to chain push free Ramtut was very good. Rerolling the block is a tough call. Calculating odds puts us at 1/36 WORST 1/12 SAME 1/3 PUSH 5/9 SUCCESS. Meaning its sort of a coin-flip on whether or not Ramtut ends up free or stuck. Ramtut straight dodge break-away is 65/72. Once the RR was spent, the block was 1/36 vs the dodge of 1/6 and was correct, but unlucky. Block - both down - break away with RR and break DT mummy north to the roller.

RECTO 3: Jeffro Turn 5: two TGs could have put a decent amount of pressure on the ball and forced a score. Most of Bull's support was out of range.

RECTO 4: Bull Turn 8: WTF turn 8 GFI you're just asking for it mate.

2nd Half

RECTO 5: Jeffro Turn 4: You're not elves anymore! Khemri don't have the clock-power for giving up a strong drive position. Immediately forced himself into a rushed position for this move and paid for it with the game.
Jeffro



Joined: Jan 22, 2009

Post   Posted: Feb 02, 2018 - 21:01 Reply with quote Back to top

Relezite wrote:
Cleveland vs Carolina
[b]Relezite's Extremely Correct and True Opinions (RECTOs):


RECTO 1: Inducements: Double bribes is pushing it with 2 DPs. Babes seem like a steady way to keep all the relevant positions in the game. Didn't matter either way.
Double bribes was more to maintain numbers advantage after fouling (was going to foul either way)... and yes - didn't matter.

RECTO 2: Jeffro Turn 4: Its a tough situation to gauge. Position is looking good after the fluke catch and bad dwarf blocks. Set up to chain push free Ramtut was very good. Rerolling the block is a tough call. Calculating odds puts us at 1/36 WORST 1/12 SAME 1/3 PUSH 5/9 SUCCESS. Meaning its sort of a coin-flip on whether or not Ramtut ends up free or stuck. Ramtut straight dodge break-away is 65/72. Once the RR was spent, the block was 1/36 vs the dodge of 1/6 and was correct, but unlucky. Block - both down - break away with RR and break DT mummy north to the roller.
Thought about breaking Ramtut free first off, but wanted the DT TG on the closest dorf more than chain pushing Rammy. And regardless of the rerolled garbage, either the double skulled block or the 1, 1 failed BT at that point would have chunked the turn.

RECTO 3: Jeffro Turn 5: two TGs could have put a decent amount of pressure on the ball and forced a score. Most of Bull's support was out of range.
Meh. Wink

RECTO 4: Bull Turn 8: WTF turn 8 GFI you're just asking for it mate.

2nd Half

RECTO 5: Jeffro Turn 4: You're not elves anymore! Khemri don't have the clock-power for giving up a strong drive position. Immediately forced himself into a rushed position for this move and paid for it with the game.
Didn't think I had that great position on the South... but you're right - I ain't elves anymore.
robocoyote



Joined: Oct 19, 2010

Post   Posted: Feb 03, 2018 - 07:07 Reply with quote Back to top

mrt1212 wrote:
mrt1212's first blush divisional ranking

AFC East:

1. New York Wrecks (Roboycoyote's Chaos keep getting better and better and he won the division last season)
2. Buffalo Psycho Billies (Namloc is fresh to the league and is rocking the always competitive Necromantic team)
3. Miasma Dolphlegms (DrPoods finally gave in to Papa Nurgle's courting and is in lurrrrrrve with them. He wants to maaaaaaaaaarry them, oooh la la. Expect a much better season outta Miami)
4. New Engerland Cheatriots (Valen does Nuffle's work bringing chaos and excitement to the league in a pint sized package. He may not be able to guide the wee gobbos to the Superbowl but he always provides a satisfying thrill and sometimes even pulls off the big upset. I don't have high hopes for their season but with an AG5 saw on board...it'll be fun as heck!)


last two seasons *cough*
Relezite



Joined: May 21, 2007

Post   Posted: Feb 03, 2018 - 14:30 Reply with quote Back to top

Relezite's Extremely Correct and True Opinions (RECTOs)

Buffalo vs Arizona
Week 1

Pre-Game:


Buffalo - Namloc 2000
Arizona - MenonaLoco 2580
Inducements - Bribe + Igor + Hack Enslash + Wilhelm

RECTO 1: Good choices. Surprisingly, Arizona's damage ability is not that deep for high end chaos, so maybe trade the igor for something. Personally I am in love with the Count for 390, he's like Sidewinder on steroids for the cage and bash match, but I can't dispute these strong general choices.

Fan Advantage: Arizona: +1
Kick-off Roll: Arizona: Recieving

1st Half:

Namloc sets up in a Fist-of-the-Run-Block defense but leaves Hack Enslash in range of a blitz, perhaps as bait for a key return foul. He also keeps 2 of the 3 wolves off the field, seemingly sacrificing the defense for the safety of his team.

RECTO 2: Gunna go ahead and drop a major WTF here. Wilhelm is defensive powerhouse, and the second MB wolf is a necessary damage/surf threat. It's like you've KO'd your own key players, Namloc. Shelve the chainsaw for your offense and go in with all the wolves.

Menona sets up strong forward since there's not really blitz threat, and the ball is kicked.

Kick-off Roll: Nice Weather (No Change)

Menona prones up the line, but doesnt achieve a dodge-less gap with which to take the easy chainsaw blitz. He secures the ball on the south wing and passes. Namloc opens with a chainsaw blitz that almost backfires but largely keeps his team in the same spots, inviting an advance from Menona

RECTO 3: Chainsaw blitzes are risky. Do them last and sometimes not at all. The chainsaw is a bit of a gamble, and may end up contributing nothing, but with good ordering, you can usually make sure it at least doesnt have a negative impact on your team.

Menona replies, MNGing a rookie zombie (11-10) and engaging the defense in a soft south-mid run. Namloc engages a few tackle zones, then goes for another chainsaw blitz, perhaps hoping to trade it for a key blitzer, but its teeth are not sharp this game. Menona response with a light south-side push and the chainsaw proves its worth when it gets Carson Facepalm ejected to no effect (10-10). Namloc shuffles the pieces of the southside offense around a bit, but leaves a gap. Menona takes the gap, KOing a wight to bring the count to (10-9). At this point, the score is most likely, all Namloc can do is try to earn some turns for his reply. Chainsaw blitz KOs a warrior (9-9), but he scoops to the stall and sends his wolf up-pitch for protection. Coachs trade midfield blows to reach (7-7) (Menona APO Used) at the 8/7 score.

End of Drive:
1-0 Arizona
KOs: Arizona - 1 warrior left in box Buffalo - 1 Wolf left in box

Kick-off Roll: Throw a Rock

Despite having the fame, Menona's elf-like scorer is BHd by an angry Buffalo fan. Namloc gets a KO, but the second warrior comes back at the end of the half and his wolf stays put.

2nd Half:

Menona sets up a Closed-Face Slamwich defense. Namloc takes a strong center backfield approach which pays off when...

Kick-off Roll: Perfect Defense

Menona rearranges to crowd the line, but none of Buffalo's key positionals are bothered. Namloc hits the south side of the line and runs a quick wolf attack down the gap. Menona sets up some strong safeties, but Namloc gets ahead of them neatly. Wilhelm and the Strong wight are KOd, but its not enough to stop the wolf carrier from dodging in for the score at 3/2.

End of Drive:
1-1
KOs: Buffalo with Wilhelm in the box still.

Namloc sets a little bonus zombie on the line and brings both remaining wolves to the final defensive effort. It's a deep defense though, and Menona still puts 10/11 forward.

Kick-off Roll: Perfect Defense

Namloc decides he's not going to be able to take over the line and just tries to minimize damage by rearranging zombies.

RECTO 4: Yeah. You can't take over that line, but the ST5 golem on his southside killer goat could tie up resources away from the ball. Combine that with bringing the wolves into a closer (but still protected) pocket opposite the ball and suddenly you've got more pressure on his position.

Menona secures the ball and sets in on the line. He manages a golem KO blitz (11-10) and gets the ball into a tight pocket. Namloc takes a shot on the mino and blocks the mid advance, leaving the north slightly open, which Menona pushes softly into taking out another zombie in the process (11-9). Namlock does not add to the northern effort and Menona advances strongly while removing a wight (11-8 ) and cementing his pitch lead. Namloc tries a longshot wolf attack, but its not happening and Menona walks it in on turn 8/8.

Final Score: Arizona 2-1
Relezite



Joined: May 21, 2007

Post   Posted: Feb 03, 2018 - 15:16 Reply with quote Back to top

No full review for Green Bay vs Tennessee just a RECTO

RECTO: Ball before bash.
Primarch



Joined: Dec 14, 2003

Post   Posted: Feb 08, 2018 - 03:56 Reply with quote Back to top

Is there a waiting list for this league?
JackassRampant



Joined: Feb 26, 2011

Post   Posted: Feb 08, 2018 - 04:01 Reply with quote Back to top

Yes. Talk to mrt1212.

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Primarch



Joined: Dec 14, 2003

Post   Posted: Feb 08, 2018 - 04:09 Reply with quote Back to top

JackassRampant wrote:
Yes. Talk to mrt1212.



Thank you, will do.
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