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Joined: Sep 25, 2008

Post   Posted: Mar 28, 2018 - 21:54 Reply with quote Back to top

Disclaimer: Woo-tube, not to be mistaken for Cathayan service Wu-xoob.

Joined: May 29, 2011

Post   Posted: Apr 23, 2018 - 05:40 Reply with quote Back to top

The T&P Show

Right, quick, with the new season around the midpoint, Terence, how are all the new teams going?


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Down in Redgum's Rhapsody, coach Faulcon is looking to put his Immortalis Inquietus in premier, it's the lower half of the division he's yet to face, but his 2/1/0 is not that flash yet compared to the top six, with Redgum's Rationalists, Dlock's Evil Moon Rising, HandyK's TingBuDong, Irgy's Ratty Old Elves, and Wex's Calithonian Cygnegeticus close behind.

Bojo's Chrimean Chimera are even going, with the rest, JamesFynmore's Belfast Black Rats, JoeKano's Skye Hoppers, and Daudy's Beyond the Sunset, all having a rough start, with the Norse in particular at 0/0/3 feeling the pinch. Big division, the scores already looking like there'll be a couple headed to premier from here!

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In Karnov's Emblamatic Conf, coach Manzoo leads the way with his Snarling Lunar Freaks! on a perfect start. The old dorfs just will not leave quietly, eh. tussock's Effluvient Dervishes and Foad's Blackwater Cockfighters chasing along behind, with D_Arquebus' Lab Rat Elysium running above average.

Samaranthae's South Shire Dirty Dwarfs are even going, with Grod's Veophiles, Fool's Yeast Lords, and Pdarbs' Elenium falling behind. In particular, the frogs are 0/0/4, with the worst record in the competition thus far. Tough division, mind you, no shortage of past premier champions or contenders here.

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Up to Ramchop's Chronicled Conf, Pyates' Waaaaghton Redskins and Jevouse's Cheasy Hadron Malaprops tied their round three to leave them tied for the run to premier on 2/1/0. Sandune's Wildwood Windlords will seek to catch them tonight with the last round three game a knife edge mirror match.

Tomay's adult swim and cdwat's Sentinels are running even, with BigBullies' Refreshingly Dead, ramchop's Bravado, and Boriz's Jötenheimr Yetis in the running for relegation. The Yetis another Norse team starting 0/0/3, struggling to find that punch even with the big boy on the pitch.

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Then Faulcon's Quingentennial Conf, that's 500 games, it's Smegish's Dean Park Rangers leading the charge to premier alone at the top on 3/1/0, with some solid team building going on too.

No one else is better than average, Bobs' Phoenix Academy Sharp Shooters, almic's Cryptic Cryptids, mushoomy's Pugs Not Drugs, polemarch's Brew Pub Brouhaha, DrPoods' Ratstar Blazers, and Sharper's Green 'n Scabby all with little to set them apart for now. Just Tribalsinner's Rolling Rampage with a tough start, the Dwarfs finding themselves 0/0/3 and a likely trip to the Regionals to beat on the new teams.

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Lastly, Cdwat's Heroic Conf, Relezite storming off to a solid start with Unicorn Gunfight at 3/0/1. With Wozzaa's MekLab Geargrinderz and B2K's Goonbongburra Windjammers chasing close behind, could be a tight conference indeed.

GreySquirrel's Naggarond Raptors, Dunenzed's East Farkner Journeymens Club, and oozeboss's Croakland Raiders are all running even, with Karnov's Crude Oilers and JPM's Styx and Warpstones bringing up the rear. Tight at the lower end, everyone with a few points, no saying yet who'll be in a position to climb or fall from this conf.


A long way to go yet, from here most of the top teams could still end up down in Reggies. Who knows? Bob Borc knows, that's who. Good luck SWL, we're out of time, and money, like most of the teams will be when the end of season bills come due. Sharp financial skills will be needed here, saving beginning in earnest for a lot of these teams now, hopeful the players and hangers on don't get their hands into the kitty.

Who's richest? I hear it might just be the Khemri. I'm liking the look of them, Terence, bringing a fan club, brilliant!


No one likes Khemri teams, Phillip, foul things. Got nothing on those old Goblins, if you ask me.


Joined: Aug 01, 2015

Post   Posted: May 23, 2018 - 01:02 Reply with quote Back to top

This is the journal of Rock, a halfing chef procurer, turned Blood Bowl player-agent.

15/5/2518 16:09

Heard about some mighty fine bacon-on-legs living in the Paintree Rainforest. These pigs are reputed to be exceedingly juicy. Putting together an expedition to lay claim to these gifts to porkkind.

18/5/2518 18:43

Have assembled an expeditionary force. Enlisted Zero and Gish as security against the wild predators inhabiting the Paintree Rainforest. Also put together the best squad of halfing procurers you can find anywhere in the Southern Wastes. 13 of them, along with me, naturally. We’re gonna grab these pigs and get out of the Paintree Rainforest, and get rich! We depart tomorrow.

20/5/2518 20:25

Initial expedition TOTAL success. The weather sucked, but we ventured in the Rainforest, and got on the trail of these pigs. Unusually wide and well-formed gametrail, but that only helped us. After a day in the deep jungle, we happened on a herd of fifteen pigs. These porcine creatures was the most fattest and plumpest pork I’ve ever personally seen. We gathered them together and put them on a line. Currently leading them out. Tomorrow we reach the edge of the Rainforest, and we become the most famous Chef Procurers in all the Southern Wastes.

20/5/2518 22:30

It’s quiet. Outside of the thunder and rain (thank Nuffle for Zero and Gish’s ponchos, we’re all huddled under them right now), there’s not even any animal noises. The pigs are snuffling happily though, they definitely know they’re gonna become the most delicious bits of pork, to the acclaim of all.

21/5/2518 10:30

We woke up and set out, after butchering one of the pork for the best breakfast sausages possible. Our bellies are full. I really wonder what the Master Chefs can make out of these pigs, if we could do these sausages.

21/5/2518 14:47

Luna’s gone. Maybe she wandered away? It’s storming really badly right now.

21/5/2518 19:32

We happened on a clearing earlier today. If I didnt know that nothing lived in these forests, I would swear it was a Blood Bowl pitch. The rain is really bad, the water is waist-deep and the mud is making it impossible to slog forward, so we had Zero and Gish lift us to the canopy of the trees to try and wait out the storm.

22/5/2518 11:15

The storm finally broke, with a pair of earthshattering thunderbolts. Under our trees, there was a tribe of warrior women. They were heavily armed, threatening to kill us over the pigs (turns out we stole their herd by mistake). But thankfully, I sweet-talked them in playing a Blood Bowl game against us with the pigs going to the winner. Turns out they really love the sport, and were tired of playing it only amongst themselves. The game begins 18:00 today. I believe between Gish and Zero, we can pull it off.

22/5/2518 20:30

They defeated us roundly. Lots of injuries, several asleep. We did manage to kill one of them though! But you know what? This is a great chance to get rich. I convinced the two leaders (Genevieve and Mai) that I was an actual Blood Bowl scout, and that we came to test them. I really think this team could be something, so we- both the Amazons and us- are gonna leave the forest, to try and get them qualified for the Southern Wastes League, the finest Blood Bowl league in these lands. I got Genevieve to sign a paper saying half their proceeds will go towards the Chef Procurer team known as the Slashing Bumpkins (which is what we call ourselves!) Clever, isn’t it? Oh, and the best part? They let us keep the pigs, because that’s what they think they’re paying us for our help with getting them to play Blood Bowl on the greater stage of the SWL. Their name is pretty apt, they’re the Cloud 11 Stormbreakers, named after the two thunderbolts that ended the storm when they found us.

Joined: Oct 12, 2013

Post   Posted: May 24, 2018 - 10:25 Reply with quote Back to top

The SWL LXXI Team Achievements

Turns (1165): Unicorn Gunfight
Completions (26): Phoenix Academy Sharp Shooters
TDs (17): Belfast Black Rats
Cas (23): South Shire Dirty Dwarves
SPP (120): Belfast Black Rats
Passing yards (56): Yeast Lords
Rushing yards (260): Wildwood Windlords
Blocks (370): Cryptic Cryptids
Fouls (27): Cryptic Cryptids
Blocks/Cas (13.4): Redgum's Rationalists
Pass/Cp (5.0): Ratty Old Elves & Unicorn Gunfight
Kills (4): Calithonian Cynegeticus, Wildwood Windlords, Veophiles & Cryptic Cryptids

Image The Unofficial Maester Whippy Dean Douglas Sundae
Image Vorticist (Veophiles) 18 spp

The SWL Season LXXI Awards

Image Image Baron von Kitemonger (Unicorn Gunfight) 14 TDs
Image Image Vorticist (Veophiles) 9 cas
Image Image Beard o Zeus (Brew Pub Brouhaha) 116 turns
Image Image Baron von Kitemonger (Unicorn Gunfight) 198 rushing yards
Image Image Kai Bollinger (Bravado) 35 pass yards
Image Image Beithir & Image Adnoartina (Cryptic Cryptids) 8 fouls
Image Image Lothar Xemxesh (Goonbongburra Windjammers) & Image Prancle-Dance Fuffergump (Unicorn Gunfight) 73 blocks
Image Image Alagosson (Phoenix Academy Sharp Shooters) 13 cps
Image Image XiJinPing (TingBuDong) 3.3 block/cas
Image Image Aphrael (Elenium) 5.2 pass/cp

Image Image Baron von Kitemonger (Unicorn Gunfight) 43 spp
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