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Trickey



Joined: Oct 10, 2018

Post   Posted: May 03, 2020 - 13:29 Reply with quote Back to top

My Secret obsession:

So Silky plundered his purse to pay for a me the Mascara snake to cast my eye over the league to see what the go is coming into Crunch season. The tortured soul of the first lady of Osbbl Laskarina Bouboulina is here with me, avid fans of the show will remember Laskarina being felled by a stray boot in last year's Wilkinson Sword final. So who better to give us the report card than the women who almost hand her hand on the Sword:

The Kings Conference

Green_For_The_Green_God!
Laskarina what do you make of the winners of the secret Smack?
Well Snake these plucky and angry young orcs have arguably been the brightest things outside of the Griffens this year. Huge game next round against the Iron clad bikini dwarves to see if they can seal the top spot, who would bet against them, not me they look angry.

_The_Blimp_ Early pace setters Laskarina can they keep the pace up. Well Snake a slip up against the Forest Goblins may of cost them dearly now relying on the Savage orcs to slip up and still to face the Iron clads. The Blimps rise has been on the back of a solid boot though will that help them kick on? I think they will be safely in the play-offs and have a good chance to go to the semi.

Trout mask Replica The greatest team in the league what do you think Laskarina? Well for some reason you have made us follow them the entire season while you keep disappearing to their treatment room. To be honest they have surprised many people and the win against Beards Beers and Bikinis was the surprise of the season, with Giant Crab Frownland making the dwarfs frown. They were then handed a real hiding by the Tofu eating Trembling Tree Huggers and may have seen an end to their challenge for the playoffs.

Beards Beers and Bikinis
Seems we have been talking about this team all through the broadcast so my Handy maiden can these Dwarfs make the cut. Well Snake they have been sending endless opposition players to the apocrathy and I think that will help them steer their slow boat to the play off and then the semis, they can not afford to slip up though and the game against the league leaders might as well be a semi for these contenders.

DSR The paciest team in the league Laskarina do they have what it takes? Well we all know these rats can score they have pace and a real threat, but despite being the only team to beat the league leaders, I can’t seem the scrapping it together to finish in the playoffs. That said many may think they have the easiest last two rounds of the competition.

Trembling Tree-huggers These poor beasts were put on a vegan diet that there coach said would be performance enhancing, unfortunately it has let them down though it seemed like fish was on the menu with almost the performance of the fifth round, of course the Griffons went 5-0. Too little too late and then they will find themself avoiding the mullet but I think the coach will not avoid being eaten.

Shhhh its a secret The Forest dwellers have had a difficult first season in the league and Slowly have come to some form with A comprehensive win over the high flying Blimp, can this help them avoid the Mullet Laskarina? In a word Snake no. I think they are destined for the Mullet but I think they will also take this coveted trophy my firm favourites to take only the second ever Mullet handed out by Silky.

Front Yarders
Another tough season for the Frontyarders Laskarina is there any hope? Sorry Snake I think they may be at the end of the line having fill Silky’s Chum bucket last year they have struggled to get to grips with the league but that is probably because a Gnome tends to last around 3 games though Blink seem intent on going the distance.

The Griffons Conference

Gaen Vale Griffons Your old side Laskarina think they can correct history? I do not understand your reference (he still hasn’t told her the result-ed) Snake but I think this team is well on there way to making Osbbl history the first team to have back to back conferences named after them and then they will pack the sword safely back into their trophy cabinet before going on to seal the Sucker cup perhaps only pausing to build a statue of me.

West Park
Early leaders have let their foot off the gas Laskarina, are they still worthy of the play offs? Well Snake a lot in it for there next two games if they lose against the Haka they will be down and out as they won’t get anything on the Griffons home turf. I think they may have peaked too early.

Banda Sagrada de Magritta
The inconsistent misfits of the league, can they go the distance Laskarina? Well yes I would think so Snake they have been inconsistent on the pitch but beating West park has given them a new lease of life. They will make the play offs but I can’t see them making the semi.

Haka Chibi Hako Siva Tau
with their unorthodox style and strange play style the crowd have coe to love these plucky foreigners some say the locals will pick up their play style and run with it and you're a fan Laskarina? Damn straight Snake a big fan. These are my pick of the outsiders for the semi finals. I can see them upsetting West park and then if they come out Unscathed against the Cheese eaters they will do well in the play offs.

Delicious Heresy
Once again more on the front page than on the back page, Tom Thundercock with more groin strains than humanly possible probably says they haven’t got their strength and conditioning training right again Laskarina, not to mention Cocaine Carl's White Line fever. Yes Snake the perennial underachievers they promise so much but deliver so little. Snake: They did beat the Griffons though Laskarina. Laskarina: Yes I know my ladies were unwilling to get in contact with those things either way I think they will find themselves slipping into the Mullet.

Down Unda Thunda
These squigs mean business don't they. Yes Snake I can tell you they have been amazing too watch who would have known a squig team could be competitive, well not anyone who watched the last two seasons anyway. The first ever squig team to win a game in the Osbbl and I think they have another win in them. To firmly put them a respectable mid league.

Cheese Eating Blender Monkees Entertainment to the max watching this violence laden mincing machine in action not so keen on these Rats though Laskarina. I tell you now Snake I am glad my Griffons came out hardly scratched against these animals they are terrifying. I think they are destined for the Mullet final and it will be a fitting end to a very entertaining season.

Disgruntled Bus Drivers Union
This team has every right to be disgruntled don’t you think Laskarina? Damn straight Snake I think they lost the bus, lost the contract and rumour has it Silky himself has lost the plot with them. They promised to entertain but after a season of quibbling about full stops in their contracts and querying if members were given adequate drink breaks between drives the Bus drivers are at the end of the line, they will bow out of the Mullet graciously and will we see them again I do not know.

So 1 and a half rounds to go before the end of season competitions of the Sword Mullet and then our cup competition the Sucker Cup before we look at going into season 5. Silky has already seen hordes of new teams arrive at Silky towers to negotiate to get into the Oceanic Secret League for season 5 so any sports fans out there hop on to one of the most exciting and competitive leagues going in these bejeweled isles.

Me and Laskarina will bow out for now to look for suitable attire for the end of season prizes. Stay weird Osbblers.
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