PainState
Joined: Apr 04, 2007
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 Posted:
May 03, 2013 - 22:16 |
 
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Krikack: Avatar of Destruction Part 1
The sun was at its zenith, blazing with an intensity that all the creatures of Khemri were in hiding. Except for a lone traveler sitting in a dug out in a sand covered Blood Bowl stadium of by gone days. His hat, travel worn and dusty, provided shade for this man. In his hands he is twiddling away on a wood stick with his dagger. Occasionally looking up to the scoreboard, which stands at the end of the stadium like a monolith. After some time he reaches into his haversack and pulls out a pulsating gem. He reaches over and picks up his staff and pushes the gem to the center of the dugout and moves to the end of the dugout and sits back down. Working over his wood stick into a totem with his dagger, keeping an eye on the scoreboard.
The stadium was electric. The fans amped up to a frenzy like pitch of excitement. The Khemri Premier League Finals match has gone to overtime in a 2-2 match. Two of the story book teams of the KPL. The Khemri Scorpions and the Lahmia Night Crawlers, bitter foes and always a grudge match.
In the north end zone owner suite Tomb King Setra sits on his golden throne. His throng of advisors, ladies, lords and generals are in good spirits. The Scorpions are in good shape going into overtime. The Scorpions are on the cusp of their third title in as many years.
The Scorpions landed a coup in the transfer draft 3 years ago bringing in 2 talented players from the FUMBBL ranks. Ever since, the scorpions have been at the top of the standings. Their arch rivals the Night Crawlers have been bitter ever since that night of the draft. It has never “sat” right with them on how that draft seemed to be underhanded and stacked against them.
The teams come out of the locker rooms and line up for the coin toss. Lahmia wins the toss. The fans erupt in cheers, boo’s and a faint whisper of hurt is heard on the winds. After a few minutes the teams break the huddle and the scorpions kick the ball deep into the Lahmia side. Both sides charge and meet at mid pitch in a massive cloud of dust, blood and brutality
In the south end zone owner suite, sits Nagash, supreme Lord of undeath, vanquished ruler of Khemri by the hands of Setra and patron of the Lahmia Scorpions is troubled. Over time is always a dicey thing and he hates anything that is dicey. He wonders why he even likes Blood Bowl since he hates all things related to chance. A lot of plans hinge on this over time period. Plans laid into motion many years in the making.
Krell, champion of Khorne and undead general of the armies of Nagash is cheering on the Night Crawlers with vigor. It brings back ancient memories deep inside of him of those few years on the pitch himself. He has never missed a Night Crawler match in the last 50 years and his hatred of the Scorpions burns fierce in his undead heart.
The ball lands deep in the Lahmia half and the Night Crawlers pick up the ball and start moving up field. Attempting to get into cage formation to protect the ball carrier. Out of the swirling dust comes the Lahmia’s stellar transfer pick up from 3 years ago, Jill Roberts. She finally has her prey lined up. The cause for all her dissatisfaction of being resurrected in the KPL, all the disappointing losses, the glory of victory always denied, her fame diminished and her purpose taken away, Krikack part Duex. She was promised that transfer spot on the Scorpions, he is the one who denied her. Now is the time to finally add his skull at the footsteps of Khorne’s throne.
Jill picks up two wing men as they blow through the LOS and line up Krikack for a blitz move. Krikack sensing the danger goes on defense and awaits the clash of legends.
Jill comes in low looking to get under Krikacks reach. She brings her claws up and charges in under his gauntlet as he tries to parry her attack away. She gets under his defense and comes up with her claw. It glances off his breastplate and rides up to his should guard. The shoulder guard flies off its buckles. It floats in the air reflecting the sun light. Chain links are shredded and add to the metal flying through the air. A geyser of blood erupts from Krikacks shoulder and he rolls with the claw attack and stands his ground.
Nagash sits up, his eyes glowing green with power. He reels back as a memory from some time in the past, does not know how long ago, but a memory. A vision of a shoulder guard reflecting light with chain links flying. A geyser of blood adding to the vision and clouding his memory. He always assumed it was a memory of some past battle. But yet, the vision ended with a pool of blood in the sand. He grips his staff and stands up. Intently watching this show down of legends on the grid iron.
Jill spins and comes in low again with her claw. Her claw shreds through his game jersey sending more chain links flying but the force of her attack glances off Krikack and she impales one of her team mates right through the chest. The skeleton shatters into 200 bones and collapses on the pitch, fail regen.
Jill is off balanced after her glancing blow and attempts to dodge back as Krikack swings his mighty gauntlet, missing her by an inch. She steps back a pace to get set and then charges back in. Krikack sees the claw coming and performs a deft over under with his fending gauntlet and knocks the blow away. Her momentum off balances her and Krikack pounces. He lunges forward and gets under her arm. We pulls her in to his body in a half nelson move. With his other arm he gives Jill a stiff upper cut. Spittle, blood and a tooth goes flying off into the distance. He uses his massive frame to leverage her off her heels and then flips her on her side. Jill and Krikack go crashing into the sandy pitch. Krikack piles on with his 900 LB frame as he drives her into the pitch on her shoulder.
Krell senses the danger Jill is in and lets out a cry of rage from the owner’s box
Krikack’s massive frame lands on Jill and her shoulder guard grumbles under the weight and force. Bending around her shoulder the edges dig through her chain mail shirt and drive the links deep into her skin. Krikack buries his large fore arm against her head and drives her into the pitch. Jill lets out a cry a pain as he left horn is broken off as her head is driven into the pitch. Krikack head butts her face and there is a crack as her jaw is broken. Broken teeth and spittle come flying out of her mouth. As Jill lays there trying to get her bearings Krikack gets back up and lays a foot stomp across her head shattering her other horn and then lands on her chest as he drives his knee into her. Ribs crack; blood blows out of her mouth and her lungs fill with blood.
Jill Roberts attempts to fend off Krikack’s assault but is too badly wounded to defend herself.
Krikack goes in for the kill. Stomps her on the head and then kicks her. Ribs are shattered and her cheek bone is crushed in. Krikack picks up her body and drops her across his knee shattering her back. Jill crashes to the pitch. Her life blood oozing out onto the sandy pitch, with her last breath she gasps a plea to her patron Khorne.
Krell comes unglued in the owner’s box. He is beside himself with grief. He is pacing the box liked a cage animal.
Nagash walks to the front of the owner’s box. Gazing down on the scene before him. He enters a trance and sees the pool of blood forming at the base of Jill’s dead body; he is shacking as the vision comes back. If this vision is true then this event must happen next. His staff starts to form a nimbus of power, his crown gives off a glow.
Krikack steadies himself and sees that the Night Crawlers are moving down the pitch. With a roar he charges the cage. Breaks the feeble tackles of the cages and bust it up. With all his force he launches himself at the ball carrier. At the last second the ball handler attempts to dodge away but it is too late. Krikack gets him in a bear hug and crashes to the ground with him. His skeletal frame crumbles under the weight and force of the ball. The ball pops out and a mad scramble for the fumble commences.
Time is running out and Krikack needs to make a move to win this match. He charges into the scrum and body blocks the skeletons fighting for the ball. He reaches down and picks up the ball, breaking multiple tackles as he blows into daylight on the other side. As he sprints downfield the Lahmia players are banzai charging him, trying to bring him down. But the force and might is too great. He breaks all their tackles and fends off their feeble blitzes. Just as time is about to expire in overtime Krikack breaks the goal line. Raises the ball high into the air with one arm and lets out a mighty roar of VICTORY!!!!!
The fans let out a roar of cheers. The place is going crazy at the ending to the finals match. Krikack just stands there with the ball raised over his head soaking up the cheers, boo’s and that faint whisper of hurt.
Nagash reels back as the vision becomes clear in his mind. But there is doubt about its meaning. Krikacks frame seems to be blurring in and out. Replaced by that memory from so long ago, his most bitter memory. Sigmar standing over his shattered body outside of Altdorf with his hammer held high in victory.
Nagash clenches his staff and makes up his mind on what must be done…….
Stay tuned for part 2 of Krikack: Avatar of Destruction. |
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Last edited by PainState on %b %06, %2013 - %17:%May; edited 4 times in total |
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PainState
Joined: Apr 04, 2007
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| Posted:
May 04, 2013 - 02:35 |
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Part 2 due out on Monday....Bucs choice of qualifier on Tues. |
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PainState
Joined: Apr 04, 2007
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| Posted:
May 06, 2013 - 19:28 |
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Part 2 of Krikack: Avatar of Destruction
Nagash clenches his staff and turns around. He summons his cabal of necromancers around him. They pull forth a large tome and Nagash turns to the proper page.
Krell is yelling out of the owner’s box a litany of cuss words at Krikack and swearing he will kill him.
“Krell stop your yelling, I am preparing a spell”
Krell turns to Nagash with rage in his eyes and revenge in his heart
“She was just one of your many concubines Krell. I don’t see why you are so upset? Plus we always knew she was a TV bloat to begin with. CPOMB just does not make sense against opponent’s who mainly have AV7 with thick skull. Her demise was a nice TV trim job.”
“She was my first concubine and the greatest Blood Bowl player of all times my Lord. You anger me with your flippant attitude towards one of Khorne’s greatest players.”
“Calm down Krell. Plans have been laid down for years and now is the time to strike. Jill just happened to play a key role in this plan.”
“A plan that resulted in her death!”
“She was already dead Krell, now she is in the throne room of Khorne, where she always belonged.”
“So will my demise be part of some grand plan?”
“Of course Krell, now be silent as I work on this spell.”
Krell stomps around the owner’s box trying to contain his inner rage and fury. Watching the proceedings on the field at mid field as they get ready to hand out the championship trophy.
Setra emerges from the tunnel leading to the pitch with his arm around Krikack. Yelling encouraging words of victory to his champion of Blood Bowl. Krikack is all smiles as he is about to once again raise the trophy in victory and another tournament MVP award.
The Scorpions surround the podium as the officials are getting ready to hand out the trophy and the MVP award. The crowd is cheering and Setra and Krikack stand center stage.
Off in the distance the water boy is lugging his 50 gallon Gatorade jug up onto the pitch to stand with the team. He is part of the team, he thinks, and thus should be able to bask in the glory of victory himself.
Nagash closes the tome and the cabal of necromancers forms a semi-circle around their master, uttering powerful words of magic. Nagash turns around and faces the fan fair in the middle of the pitch and raises his staff. His crown pulsating with power and his eyes turn green. A nimbus of dark energy forms at the head of the staff.
He holds on to its power for a second. Contemplating what he is about to unleash. For his actions will cause serious back lash. Is the risk worth the reward? Will the price for failure be too high? Right when he is about to reconsider his action the vision returns. Sigmar standing over his shattered body, war hammer raised in victory, humanity rising like the sun in the East and casting him back into the shadows.
Nagash lets out a cry of defiance and points the staff at the podium. A bolt of dark energy streaks to the field.
Krikack lifts the MVP trophy high into the sky, basking in the glory.
The old man in the dugout looks up at the scoreboard and senses that now is the time. He stands up and raises his staff over his head. Calling upon the winds of magic he rotates the staff over his head. Powerful magic whips up like dust around him. His wooden totem, that he just made, is glowing with power. The gem in the middle of the dugout turns red and is radiating light.
The dark bolt of energy strikes Krikack in the chest, sending him spinning off the podium and crashing to the ground. The dark energy has him in a web of power which he cannot escape. Under his game jersey dangling close to his heart is a wooden totem that he crafted many years ago. It is crude and chipped but it is the last item he has of his previous life, a charm he will never part with. It begins to glow a white light.
The light is breaking the web of power around him. As the web starts to melt a bolt of power erupts from the totem and streaks across the pitch.
Water boy is picking up the pace. He might just make it for the handing out of the laurels of victory to the team. Out of the corner of his eye he sees the black bolt of power hit Krikack that sends him tumbling off the podium. Water boy never makes it. The rogue bolt of dark energy streaks across the pitch and hits him square in the face. He dissolves immediately into sub atomic atoms and blows away in the wind, along with his 50 gallon Gatorade jug.
Nagash unleashes another bolt of energy that crashes into Krikack as he flails on the ground. The webs of power close in on him.
Setra jumps off the podium pointing up to the owner’s box where Nagash is standing. Soldiers start running on the pitch and a unit of archers are grabbing their arrows, getting set to let loose on Nagash.
Krell jumps in front of Nagash and arrows bounce off his chaos infused armor. “Time to leave my Lord, you have stirred up the hornets’ nest now.”
Nagash and his cabal of necromancers quickly move out of the owner’s box and flee the stadium. Krell slowly follows them to make sure any pursuit is intercepted. And he so hopes someone tries to intercept them because he needs to vent his rage at the demise of Jill.
Back on the pitch Krikack is losing the war against the tendrils of dark magic. He can feel his life forces once again being drained from his body. With all his will he pushes back against the magic and then like a dam trying to contain the flood and it finally gives and Krikacks will explodes like the dam and then darkness.
The old man braces his legs and gets good footing. His staff is now whirling around his head and he can feel the power of his spell coming to full force.
The totem he crafted is glowing brighter and brighter and the wood is starting to smoke and then it catches fire. The totem crumbles to ash and a cloud of dust obscures his vision. Once the dust clears he feels that his boots are wet. As he looks down he sees a 50 gallon jug of Gatorade spilled over and the contents filling the trench in the dugout. Water boy is lying on the ground with his hands covering his face and paralyzed with fear.
The facets on the gem start to crack. The power is too much for it to contain. A loud crack sound is heard and then a blinding light.
The old man shields his eyes and when the light fades he looks up to see the hulking form of Krikack standing in the dugout. Gazing out onto the pitch, still holding onto the KPL MVP trophy.
Krikack looks around and sees the old man standing at the end of the dug out with water boy at his feet.
Krikack looks back onto the pitch.
“This is where is began, did it not? And who in the hell are you?”
Krikack looks at the old man awaiting his answer.
Stay tuned for Part 3 of Krikack: Avatar of destruction. |
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Arktoris
Joined: Feb 16, 2004
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May 07, 2013 - 04:38 |
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The cabal vision gets fuzzy, whizzes, blurs, and refocuses to a new show
DeMaio "Hello everyone, I am interrupting this usual soap opera, Nagash's Hospital, to bring some breaking news on the human's premiere and oldest team...The Hellbound Charioteers. We are announcing that we have entered the GLT Dead tourney to go 'old school' style with fumbbl's meanest nastiest veterans and encourage the same from all the most brutal claw pomb teams. Let's make THE DEAD qualifier earn its name!
Of course, with so many claw chaos, nurgle, chaos dwarves, and norse teams fronted by murderous demon princes...I advise humanity's SECOND most famous team, the Blood Sea Bucaneers to avoid such certain doom. We wouldn't want to lose that purty little ogre so soon...not after what was paid for it.
Ok, that is all. We now let you resume to your soap opera. and as always, Hail and kill."
the cabal vision fuzzes out, chirps and whirls, then returns to Nagash's Hospital |
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Hail to Manowar! The latest charioteer to DIE for bloodbowl! - Slain, by Ghor Oggaz |
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PainState
Joined: Apr 04, 2007
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| Posted:
May 07, 2013 - 19:34 |
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With the return of Krikack back in the fold the Buccaneers sat down and got down to bussiness on which qualifier to enter.
32 kegs of beer and 5 days of hashing it out coach finally steps in.
"Ok guys we are set. Back up to a 16 man roster barring Barber who is laid up for the opening round after that fiasco of a match a few days back.
It is time we that we make the push to put humanity over the top. I entered us into the Forlorn qualifier 6 days ago. We are going to hard charge into the qualifier. Kill as many of them as we can. Lay the PO, DP boot and stomp them into the pitch. Once we are done and the qualifier is burned to the ground we do it again in the main draw. Anybody have any issue with this."
Rodger raises his hand in the back of the room
"Coach did you say you entered us into the forlorn 6 days ago? If so why have we been sitting here for 5 days beating on each other trying to figure this out?"
"Team morale exercise."
"That was a painful exercise sir."
"Yes it was. But, now you guys are all mad at me and each other. What better way to take out your frustration than on another team? Really lay into them. Let it all out."
Buccaneers stand up and collect all their gear and head on out. Krikack and coach have a few moments in the back of the tavern. Coach hands him his throw back #16 game jersey and Krikack shows him his shiny KPL MVP award.
The fans of the Buccaneers are pumped and expectations are really high right now. It is main draw or bust at the moment. The fans are confident it will happen. |
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PainState
Joined: Apr 04, 2007
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| Posted:
May 07, 2013 - 19:56 |
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DeMaio is hanging out in his room, door locked and barred, the windows shut. He is sitting back on his comfy chair with his bowel of fruit loops. Oh he is so excited. The season premiere of Pink Ponies of Fairy land is about to start. He feels really cunning right now. Sending the rest of the Hellbound out on some errand for him so he can have 30 minutes alone and nobody can see what he is watching.
It is about to start and he gets goose bumps. And then the unthinkable happens. His globe starts to get hazy and fuzzy. He shouts out in agony and gets ready to charge down to the cabal provider for a bad transmission once again. And then a face appears.
DeMaio jumps up spilling his fruit loops all over the floor, milk and all. And then jumps behind the chair as he forgot he was wearing his Pink Pony night shirt with the color coordinated transformer bottoms with the feat warmers.
“There you are DeMaio…Pink Ponies huh? Never would have known.”
“BO!!! Your soul will burn in a hell of a 1000 suns.”
“Calm down Pony boy. I just wanted to tell you that was a nifty cabal hack job you performed. Called us out and everything. “
“Called you out? I call a spade a spade my friend.”
“We’ll all the bravado on the side I thought you should know that one of your old friends is back. He saw that little blurb you guys put out there. He was amused but also a little miffed we had not planted you guys into the dirt yet.”
“Hah!!! The Hellbound are immortal, we cannot die.”
“Well our mutual friend he has been to the other side. And he disagrees with that assessment on how that immortal stuff works.”
Krikack shoves Bo out of the frame. Bo lets out a "WHAAAAA!!!" and then the sound of breaking china wear in the back ground is heard. Krikack's face takes up the entire screen
“DeMaio!!! Iam back and Iam coming for your head. Iam going to give you lesson on this immortality BS you keep throwing around.”
DeMaio jumps out from behind the chair and faces Krikack
“Bring it man! Come at me bro!
there is movement behind Krikacks head and then a shimmering on the globe. Krikack gives a big smile and reaches forward. His hand passing through dimensional space. Krikack is emerging out of the globe into DeMaio’s bed chamber
“Holy Crap!” DeMaio immediately retreats to his cubboard and opens up a sack. Rummaging all his collectiable ponies into the bag. Opens up the window and jumps down 2 stories to the back alley. “Hey guys!! Hellbound to me! We got a problem!”
Krikack emerges into DeMaio’s inner sanctuary. Picks up his fruit loops box and drains all its contents in one gulp into his gullet. He scans the room and picks up a picture frame. It is DeMaio and Walker with arms around each other with friendly smiles. Above them is the banner. Top Male Blood Bowl athlete of year awards. Sponsored by the Pole Dancers of Altdorf league/ They both are holding trophies.
“Krikack get your ugly mug back through the globe! I can’t hold this spell forever.”
Krikack turns to leave and picks up DeMaio’s stack of collectable Pink Pony comic books that he has collected since issue #1, including the rare 300 page grand epic which is impossible to find. |
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Arktoris
Joined: Feb 16, 2004
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| Posted:
May 15, 2013 - 00:07 |
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DeMaio - "Hey Krikack, want some more of your fruit loops? It'll make you feel better about losing." |
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Hail to Manowar! The latest charioteer to DIE for bloodbowl! - Slain, by Ghor Oggaz |
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PainState
Joined: Apr 04, 2007
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| Posted:
May 22, 2013 - 18:26 |
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Krikack: Avatar of Destruction part III, the Journey begins.
“How long has it been?”
The old man removes his large brimmed hat and wipes the sweat off with a red rag. “Over 2 years now since the necromancer bound your soul.”
“Nagash, bah” Krikack spits a wad of phlegm into the sand. “He is a treacherous one but it seems you were able to out fox him old man.”
“My name is Sorum “Star Gazer”, High mage of the celestial college. I have been following your “situation” for some time Krikack. The college has a vested interest in what is going on in the land of the dead. Nagash is once again meddling with things. That necromancer who bound you was one of his agents.”
“Did the witch hunters catch him?”
“He has eluded them so far. I have a feeling now that you are back that situation will change. I suspect he will come out from whatever rock he is hiding under to find you, compelled by his true master.”
Krikack reaches down and grabs his duffle and throws it across his shoulder. Steps out of the dugout and starts walking towards the north end zone exit.
As he strides across the pitch the bones of dead Blood Bowlers who litter the field are crushed under his foot. The dust swirls up around him as he strides across the pitch. Sorum dons his hat once again and grabs his gear. As he watches Krikack walk across the pitch all he sees is a dust storm surrounding the giant Ogre. A premonition of chaos and destruction overcomes him. Sorum senses that Krikack is no more. Something else stirs in the Ogre’s soul. He is now an avatar but of what force? He does not know.
“My Gatorade, oh my!” Sorum looks over and sees a scrawny man with tatters for clothes cleaning a large Gatorade jug. “This is a disaster. How am I going to properly hydrate now? Oh wait a minute.” He reaches into his haversack and pulls out a large urn. Pours some dry gatorade into his large jug and starts looking around. After a quick scan he sees what he is looking for and drags the large jug over to a spigot at the end of the dugout. He turns it on and water comes flowing out. He waits for a few minutes as the mud and sand is finally cleared out of the pipes and fills his jug full, stirs it with a wooden spoon. He then takes the large drinking ladle off the side of the jug and tastes it. “Sweet H2O Gatorade, nectar of the Gods.” He sits down and continues to drink his orange Gatorade looking around. “Hey Krikack you need some hydration? Krikack, where in the heck you going?” He looks around and sees Sorum standing there looking at him.
“I am not in Khemri anymore am I?”
“No good sir you are not. I am Sorum high Mage of the Empire and who are you?”
“I am water boy. Hydration specialist for the Khemri Scorpions and keeper of the sacred Gatorade.”
“Interesting, a hydration specialist for an undead team of skeletons. This is very intriguing to me. Well water boy you better get your gear. We have a long walk ahead of us. We will be following Krikack back to the Empire and his destiny.”
Water boy looks around and all he sees is a dead stadium overgrow with desert scrub and bones. He reaches into his sack and pulls out a hat. Lugs the gatorade jug over his back and secures it with straps.
As they follow in the wake of Krikack water boy looks up at Sorum. “I am not going back am I?”
“No you are not. Your fate is now sealed with Krikack. You must aid him in his quest I think. I am not sure but you two are now bound in some way.”
Sorum looks down and sees that water boy looks lost, confused and scared. “Don’t worry water boy. As long as you stay with Krikack it should all work out. Just make sure you keep him hydrated and on his feet it will all work out in the end.”
“So, just keep doing what I always do and it will be all right?”
“That is the plan. I have a feeling I know where he is going. I will put in a good word for you and you will be back in the dugout of another Blood Bowl team.”
Water boy looks up with excitement in his eyes. “Great! It would stink if I had to go back to being a servant and all that. Blood Bowl is in my blood and I’m the best hydration specialist ever. My new team will give me a bonus and I will be able to hang out with the guys. Be part of a team again.”
Sorum and water boy finally catch up to Krikack at the exit of the stadium. Krikack is standing there looking at the old stadium. He reaches down and picks up a hand full of sand. Letting it run through his fingers and falling back to the ground. He has a far off gaze.
“We are off to the north, mage. Through Black Fire pass and back to the Empire. I need to find the Buccaneers.”
Sorum watches Krikack closely and uses his mage sense. He sees the swirls of the winds of magic faintly around him. They are a mixture of reds and black. Krikack senses Sorum’s gaze and looks at him.
“Yes Sorum, I have come back with a purpose. I will leave a wake of destruction across every Blood Bowl pitch in the old world. I feel a calling from something, someone. There is a purpose in this destruction. But I will not question it. For it is what has brought me back and I repay my debts.”
Krikack, Sorum and water boy crest a dune outside the stadium. Take one last look at the stadium of legends and then crest the dune bound for the north. They see a traders trail in the sand headed off to the north east and proceed to follow with the setting sun to their backs. The shadow of Krikack dominates the trail. Sorum senses a presence in that shadow. A very old and destructive presence, not seen since the time of Sigmar and the founding.
Stay tuned in for Krikack part 4: Trail of destruction |
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PainState
Joined: Apr 04, 2007
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| Posted:
May 22, 2013 - 18:47 |
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*** NOTE ***
Page 5 and 6 have the original tales of Krikack part duex in them.
For those who are confused or to lazy to read back many pages here is the link to the match that Krikack Part Duex was consumed in the land of the dead. That is the start to this tale.
The land of the dead when it all started |
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Badoek
Joined: May 17, 2009
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| Posted:
May 27, 2013 - 08:57 |
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wow, nice write up! |
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PainState
Joined: Apr 04, 2007
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| Posted:
Jun 24, 2013 - 18:52 |
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Krikack: Avatar of Destruction part IV: Trail of Destruction
For three days now Krikack, Sorum and water boy followed the traders trail to the North East. Along the way water boy impressed with his knowledge of the land and how to find hidden springs of water in the desert. Keeping Krikack properly hydrated with the magical Gatorade.
Sorum attempted many times over those days to find out the magical properties of that can water boy carries around. But every time he attempted to learn of its magical properties water boy would hide the can or kick him in the shin. Sorum has learned patience and he would find out sooner or later.
Water boy claims he can sniff out water in a 50 league radius. At first Sorum thought it was the boast of a simple minded person but now 3 days later, he is not so sure.
On the fourth day they came upon a tinkers cart moving at a slow pace down the trail. It was decked out in fan fair. Banners hanging on the side of the enclosed coach, flags waving in the breeze from on top. The driver who was ever watchful noticed them following and stopped the cart. As Krikack and his group approached the cart the driver stood up on the front board and with a stick banged on the roof, obviously telling whoever was inside that they have company on the road.
Krikack walks up to the cart and is amused on what he sees on the side banner. Lorebass the terror of Stunty. Will play if you have the cash. another banner shows Lorebass ripping the head off a goblin followed by another picture of Lorebass kicking the goblins head into the stands. But something is just not right in the pictures to Krikack, something seems “off”.
“Keep back Ogre, master does not like big un’s just wandering around his cart. Things get smashed and broke and then he is forced to ninja chop you and cut you down to size.” The old man who was driving the cart jumps off the back side of the cart. Krikack can hear him running to the back of the cart.
“Master there is a large Ogre out here and he looks very formidable. He might be a collection agent from the Empire or a hired mercenary coming to take back that trophy you just stole.”
The back door of the cart blows open to a wild battle cry. A very small person leaps out, does a flip and lands in a combat stance. “Ogre! An Ogre! Where is he? I ‘am getting tired of teaching ogre’s lessons.”
This stunty fellow rolls under the cart and appears next to Krikack and gives him a ninja back hand chop across Krikacks metal jock strap of power. The stunty fellow lets out a roar of pain as his hand is deflected by its magical properties and he falls back on his back side sucking his thumb.
“Hey now! What in the name of NUFFLE is this? Ogres do not wear metal jock straps. You are no collection agent or some riff raff Ogre wandering around. Who sent you?”
Krikack is about to answer when Sorum runs up and interjects himself between the two. “My name is Sorum High Mage of Altdorf and this is my bodyguard, Bruck. I would not test him again good sir. For I feel he could rip you into 4 separate parts and eat you as a snack.”
“Bah, I have been taking down big un’s now for years on the pitch. I don’t fear a big lug like him. I have blodge and sidestep and fend and can outsmart him any day of the week.”
“Those are some seriously mad skills you have. May I inquire who you are?”
“My name is Lorebass the impressive. Stunty star player and hired gun for any Blood Bowl team who will pay me enough gold. I tip the balance of power on the grid iron and any team who hires me never loses, most of the time.”
“Ah, a Blood Bowl star player. It is very nice to meet you. I am an avid fan of Blood Bowl but I must admit I have never witnessed you play or even heard your name.”
“Well that is probably so. For it seems my stunty nature has black listed me from the ranks of big time Blood Bowl. I travel the back roads of the sport playing in the new revamped Stunty Division. But I will make it to the top I tell you. One day I will grace the Altdorf Old Bowl pitch and be on a winning Ranked major’s team, this I swear.”
“Wait a minute; you are that guy who paid some league a lot of money to be able to play as a star player. You have only been around for, like, 4 months now. “
Lorebass, Sorum and Krikack just stare at water boy with blank looks.
“It says so right here in my weekly Blood Bowl magazine, the inside scoop, that appears in my haversack. The editorial in the back really rips into this Lorebass guy as a chump and backed door the stunty div by paying a large sum of money. Furthermore they say that they cannot believe the FUMBBL leagues would violate the integrity of the game by allowing coaches to pay for possible in game upgrades and so forth.”
They are still looking at him with a blank stare.
“This one guy, let me pull it out of my sack, had a hot Blood Bowl thought on how much he hates you Lorebass.”
“Ok, enough of that good sir.” Lorebass rips the magazine from water boy’s hand, spits on it and then rips it in half.
“Hey man! That was last week’s edition.”
“Oh, I ‘am aware of the publication date. It is all lies and rumor mongering to discredit me. For there are many who do not believe I should be able to play. Heck they don’t even have me listed in the help section under the stunty team rosters as a star player for hire.”
“Master we have more company on this back road that you said no one could ever find us.”
Everyone looks out into the desert and on top of a dune is standing another stunty fellow with a red pointy hat looking down at them. Suddenly the sands shift and a bunch of holes appear in the dune behind him. Emerging from the holes is a team of gnomes. All decked out in Blood Bowl gear and wearing various pointy red hats.
Sorum looks around and lets out a moan. “Gnomes, I hate these guys.”
“I agree wizard. This lot of gnomes is worse than most.”
“Lorebass! You lying, stealing, scum of all stunty and by far the worst star player of all time. You said you would not miss our match; you took our money up front and ran off along with my shiny trophy to prop up your career as a top notch Blood Bowl player. I finally tracked you down and we are going to avenge ourselves on you.”
“Well I could say it was all a disagreement but I see that you are all “worked” up and that any pleas from me would fall on deaf ears. “
All the while Lorebass is back peddling and moving himself behind Krikack and the advancing gnomes.
“Hey big guy, I hope your mage is right about you because we are about to waylaid by a bunch of stunty, red pointy hat and high AV thugs who have bombs.”
Just as Krikack is about to say something a black shiny ball lands at the feet of Krikack. BOOM!!!!!!
Krikack slams into the cart and he is on one knee with gunpowder smoke filling his nostrils. Before he can get his bearings he is swamped by 8 gnomes and getting a DP boot stuffed up his back side. But his iron jock strap of power deflects the DP shots.
“Hang in there big guy. Tie them down while I mop up the riff raff and come save you.” Lorebass charges the leader of the gnome gang. “I will show you that I am the best Star Player of all time you S access only thug!”
As Lorebass and the gnome captain are trading blows. Lorebass looks over his should and sees that Krikack has 12 gnomes now buzzing around him like flies. Bombs blowing up all around him and he is getting swarmed by the stunties.
After a few deft dodges Lorebass finally gets the gnome captain lined up for his patent pending kill shot. But to his dismay it bounces off the gnome’s armored pointy hat. “Damn you man. This is just stupid how unbalanced the gnome roster is.”
Meanwhile on the other side of camp gnomes are doing cart wheels in the air. Krikack is now picking them up like dolls and throwing that back out in the desert. Sending them crashing into the sand dunes from about 30 Ft in the air. He has finally figured out that you can catch those bombs and he is now catching them and stuffing them into the gnomes oversized overalls they call a uniform. Laughing with glee as the run around in circles trying to get the bomb out of their overalls before it blows up.
Krikack could get use to this stunty Blood Bowl. This is a lot of fun.
Lorebass is in trouble. It turns out this Gnome captain has picked up a double roll and took tackle before block. That low down gnome. He has Lorebass pinned to the ground as the gnome is sitting on his chest. The gnome reaches into his overalls and pulls out a bomb. He grips the firing pin in his mouth and pulls it and spits the pin into the sands. “I am going to send you to the afterlife in style Lorebass, gnomish bomb right in the face.”
Just as the gnomes bomb is about to blow up he is lifted in the sky and thrown over the dune. A large explosion behind the dune sends up black smoke and sand. A red pointy hat floats on the wind away from the dune.
“Well played Bruck. Based on what I just witnessed I have to say I think you have played some Blood Bowl in your time. That was impressive. It looks like you put 14 gnomes all in the CAS box back there. Then managed to save my life and reputation as the greatest star player of all time.”
Krikack looks at the pitiful stunty Lorebass and chuckles.
“Stunty Blood Bowl you say. I think this would be a fun side adventure for me. Can I tag along with you until we get farther north?”
Lorebass gives Krikack a sideways look. “I knew it, just knew it. You are a Blood Bowl player. Well you did save my life and all. Ok here is the deal. I am headed to a goblin cheaters training facility in the hills not far off. They are holding a clandestine tourney before the Exploding Cup tourney. The EC tourney is supposed to be for rookie teams only. But these guys say they have an inside guy. He can make it look like they are rookie teams. But these guys are going to hold a tourney for some big chief guy. He says they can enter the tourney with some prep matches and he will cover it up. The payout is 100,000 GC for the winner. So what do you say, are you in?”
Krikack looks to the horizon and contemplates the offer.
“I will go with you Lorebass. I need to get back into Blood Bowl shape. This should be an amusing adventure with you.”
As Krikack and Lorebass walk back to the cart. Sorum, water boy and the elderly driver crawl out from under the cart. “Are they gone?” water boy has a rusty spoon in his hand looking to whack a gnome.
“We are headed in the same direction as Lorebass, Sorum. We will follow him up to this Exploding Cup stunty major and then swing north to the Black Fire pass.”
As the troupe collects their baggage and gets the cart moving again in their wake they leave a trail of destruction. Gnomes sticking feet first out of sand dunes. Red pointy hats litter the trail and broken armor glimmers in the sun.
Stay Tuned in for Krikack: Avatar of Destruction part V: Cheaters Invitational |
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Lorebass
Joined: Jun 25, 2010
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nuuuuuuuuuu, I R comedy relief!!!!!!!! |
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PainState
Joined: Apr 04, 2007
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| Posted:
Aug 05, 2013 - 16:56 |
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Last night on the beaches of Lustria a tropical depression formed up and at kick off there was a driving rain storm on the beach. The Buccaneers smelled the salt in the air and knew this was going to be a good day indeed.
Induction ceremony for the Buccaneers as they complete the quest to enter the 1000 matches club and history!!!!!!
Standing across from them were the sentinals to the golden halls of the 1000 match club, the Hellbound Charoteers.
The Ball was kicked high into the driving rain and Beach Brawl II was in full force.
When the final whistle was blown the Buccaneers enter the golden halls. Walking in on a carpet of blood, broken bones, shattered bodies and dead Hellbound players.
Krikack the Avatar of Destruction went off in the match. Beat down and mangled the Hellbound for 4 CAS. Went toe to toe with Might Mouse the Dark Avenger Avatar and beat him down to one knee.
The dark forces are getting stronger in Krikack. A volcanoe of violence is on the verge of being unleashed on the Blood Bowl pitches. |
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CroixFer
Joined: Jan 05, 2012
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Aug 05, 2013 - 17:22 |
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Guess Charioteers are not ready any longer for the LC after such serious defeat... |
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PainState
Joined: Apr 04, 2007
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Sep 05, 2013 - 16:45 |
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**** Blog post that has been chissled into the book of grudges that the Buccaneers have stored in a vault. ****
The Buccaneers are hanging out on the practice field. Tossing the ball around and working on a new play that coach has hatched. When there is a loud cry from the main gate.
Brazzilla, former Buccaneer cheerleader and captain of the Blood Sea's Best Brassieres comes staggering into the compound. Her bikini is shredded, her hair is a tangled mess and she looks like she is on her last legs. She staggers onto the pitch and collapses in a heap.
Coach Hicksey immediatly races to the side of his long lost love. The woman of his dreams and his greatest desire. He craddles her head in his arm and begins to weep. Coach senses that Brazzilla has something to tell him so he leans down and she whispers a epic tale of damnation into his ear.
After her last words are spoken she looks into coaches eyes and then her eyes go blank, she travells to the land of Moor.
Coach lays her head down on the ground. And then he turns to the team who is standing around him in a huddle. His face turns red, a rage not scene since the LCII and the double 1 calamity.
"Chavo!!!! I swear to the god of retribution, Sigmar himself. Infront of all these witnesses that I will hunt you down and dog you all the way to the gates of Hell. I will dismantle and destroy every one of your teams. I will reduce them to slag heaps and their skulls will go on the throne of bone. I will DP foul you all 16 turns and if the Gods allow take it to OT so I can get in 8 more DP shots. It is my mission in life from this point forward to track you down and hound you on GF until the end of time. This I swear!"
Coach gets up and briskly walks out of the Buccaneer training ground.
The players surround Brazzilla, Krikack the gentle giant picks her up in his not so lovely arms, her head is bent at a weird angle. And just like in the game they carry her over to the practice dug out and lay her in the RIP bin. A final salute to one of the Buccaneers greatest cheerleaders of all time and for 1 match was a legendary blitzer.
That is when the Buccaneers hear a outcry of pain, suffering, rage and hate coming from the town square. By the time the team rallies to their coaches side he allready has half the town in the square. Coach tells the tale of Chavo to the masses.
A low down coach who during the Buccaneers VS Hellfishes charity auction donated money to FUMBBL for the honor of coaching the Brassieres. An honor of the highest order which he used and abused. Only played one match with them and then promptly retired. Did not even upload the awesome player pics that the Murker made. Did not even take the time to upload the awesome team pic that was made for the team. Used the players as his maids at his summer house. Some of them were even made to work in the fields. 2 of them were shipped off to Cathay to work in a sweat shop for Chavos T-shirt importing bussiness. But Brazzilla the beauty of the Bucs cheerleaders was made to work in a gentlemens club that Chavo owns. Yes sir! he pawned her off like a lady of the night. But Brazzilla won her freedome. Killed 78 men in an epic adventure that took her 2 years to return home. Only to be slain by a lone assassin at the gates of the Buccaneers complex. He was hired by Chavo when he got word that Brazzilla had almost returned home.
As the tale comes to an end you could hear a pin drop and then a eruption of passion pours forth. Lord and commoner alike cry for justice and revenge! The lords have pledged hordes of gold to finance a raid on Chavo's HQ. The commoners are signing up left and right to man the ships. The weaponsmiths have donated all their tools of war and pillage to this cause.
Tommorow the Buccaneers set out with an armada headed south to the land of the Kiwi. We will track down Chavo and dismantle his stable of Ranked teams. Reduce them to a slag heap and have him crying to mama. Reduced to living in a shadow playing in L matches in the SWL for the rest of time.
Coach is calling for all honorable coaches who are looking for justice and a good beat down. To join the Buccaneers and their armada to hunt down Chavo on GF and avenge the Brassieres. Of course Coach will not turn down any voullunteers from the dishonorable ranks of coaches. Track him down on GF and cry out the battle cry...FOR BRAZILLA!!!!
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Back Story this might be important so you know what the heck Iam talking about.
Blood Sea's Best Brassieres and the Lavino Liquidity where the charity teams that Murker put some effort into making team and player pics for. They played a match right after the Buccaneers VS Lavino show down match for most games for Humanity.
The disrespect of retiring the team after one match can not go unchecked!!!!!!
Iam coming for you Chavo.
Here is the link to the charity acution and the awesome team/player pics |
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