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PainState



Joined: Apr 04, 2007

Post   Posted: Feb 06, 2015 - 15:18 Reply with quote Back to top

I have just been informed by a avid reader of the BSB forum that the plan will obviously fail in epic fashion.

It seems GW has already has made plans for the Gnomish machines of destruction to be built and vaporize the Warhammer universe as we know it and rebuild from scratch.

Thus there seems to be a need for a petition to hit GW to scrap their Gnomish machines of destruction story line and adopt this story line as the start of the new Warhammer universe.

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Lorebass



Joined: Jun 25, 2010

Post   Posted: Feb 06, 2015 - 21:38
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Can we get an executive summary for this? I got lost pretty bad around the middle of the second story post.
Nightbird



Joined: Aug 02, 2003

Post   Posted: Feb 06, 2015 - 22:33 Reply with quote Back to top

Gobbo, Gobbo, Gobbo!!!
We want to hear your story!!!
Gobbo, Gobbo, Gobbo!!!

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The_Great_Gobbo



Joined: Aug 04, 2014

Post   Posted: Feb 10, 2015 - 08:14 Reply with quote Back to top

Dun, chekk out me latest blogg
PainState



Joined: Apr 04, 2007

Post   Posted: Apr 01, 2015 - 16:47 Reply with quote Back to top

Buccaneers get to take on the dreaded and feared Cymebeline. They knew this was going to be a rough match. The fans were going nuts, calling for the Krox to kill every stinking human.

Cymbeline walks onto the pitch and lets out a war cry, the fans respond with cheers. Buccaneers got a bad feeling about this.

The Ball is kicked off and Cymbeline just stands there and then keeps standing there and then he starts rubbing his ass crack. Finally the lizards get their guy focused and in killing mode but it was to late. The Buccaneers had already driven the length of the field and scored.


That was when he came alive, shook off the fog that was clouding his brain and then he GOES OFF!!!!!!!!!

Buccaneers are flying left and right out of the scrum, no mortal man could stand in his way. Dirty Waters goes flying backwards, broken ribs and then BOZ stands tall before the beast. Gives the beast a vintage Rick Flair backhand slap!!!!!! That just enrages the beast, he strikes Boz right in the face, his head goes flying clean off, hits row 9, right into the lap of a priest of Sigmar who raises it on high and starts cheering for Cymbeline. What da heck? Come on man.


And then it happened. That Priest of Sigmar realized the error of his ways, maybe got a vision from Sigmar himself that humanity was getting beat down hard, so the Priest called to the heavens.


Destructor Ware, seeing the decapitated body getting pulverized by the big beast as he piles on Boz's poor body in a frenzy of rage and hate. Calls to Evander to lay the boot.


That was when it happened. Evander Grottystone, lowly J-man who earned a spot on the squad, former bouncer and agitator, a man of low birth and no future, felt the touch of a God on him, SIGMAR HIMSELF.


Evander takes a step back and then he has this feeling that the time to strike was now, he could see a chink in the beasts armor, he raised his boot and kicked with all his might. CRACK!!!! The beast lets out a cry of pain and agony, Evander steps back and then dives onto the beast, smashing him with his gauntlets, his arms become pistons from the heavens, SIGMAR is behind his mighty fists.

Cymbeline, Legendary Krox, killer of everything that walks this earth, lay there beaten down, booted and DEAD!!!!

The apoth comes rushing out to save the beast when a rogue lightning bolt cracks from the sky and strikes him down. All that is left are two smouldering boots in the middle of the field.


BUT

Sigmar was not done yet. The Buccaneers get beat down to the point of no resistance and go down 2-1 with one last gasp on turn 16.


Dez, has that feeling, a feeling in his gut that he cannot be stopped. The ball is kicked off, a gust of wind from the heavens curves the ball right on top of Staubach who catches the ball, runs up and hands the ball off to Dez in a TZ. Bucs get the chain push going and then Dez takes off down the sideline. Deftly dodges, weaves and GFI's down the sideline and in for the Score!!!!!!


Dez rolled in sequence.. 4,4,6,6,6,6 for the OTS attempt.

Epic match, bloody, brutal, a legend bites the dust and a miracle OTS. This match had it all.


Legendary match watch the replay of awesome over and over again.

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Last edited by PainState on Apr 01, 2015 - 17:29; edited 1 time in total
Kam



Joined: Nov 06, 2012

Post   Posted: Apr 01, 2015 - 17:24 Reply with quote Back to top

\o/

Go Bucs!

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PainState



Joined: Apr 04, 2007

Post   Posted: May 15, 2015 - 18:47 Reply with quote Back to top

The door to the locker room flies open, slams against the wall, rebounds and hits coach Hicksey in the chest, Coach punches the door so hard it flies off the hinges, hits a ball boy sitting in the corner and DECAPITATES him on the spot. For a brief second everyone is stunned but then moves on, they did not like that guy any way.

“Listen up and listen up good you jack wads. I have had it and that last match just tears it.”

All the players look at each other and are despondent. They know what is coming. The massive firing of players after a major loss but they are confused, they are not out of the major yet.

“I see your rat brains trying to figure this out. Yep, it is time to cut the fat gentlemen. We are only playing for pride right now and the way I see it atleast 6 of you are such chumps I will not have you on this team any longer!!!!!

“Ok, the following chumps need to grab your jock straps and your cups and leave.

Dez, Get out of my sight you ST 1 AV 6 chump!!!
Matthews, Get out of my sight you –MA gimp who even sucks at being a DP!!!!
Singletary, Get out of my sight, I thought you could man up and rival the greatness of Brady James, how wrong I was!!!

Rice, Get out of my sight, you TV bloat, gimped out catcher who always finds a way to come up lame, you got no pride man!!!!

Russell, Get out of my sight, you good for nothing thrower who is always complaining about playing time and how your knee hurts, oh, go cry to mama!!!

Nate, GET OUT OF MY SIGHT, You had such promise with that +AG but you stink man, I mean, you stunk up the joint so bad that the entire stadium had to be fumigated after the match.

GET OUT OF MY LOCKER ROOM, GET OUT OF MY LOCKER ROOM, NOW!!!!!!!!!

The players are all scrambling, some of them dove under benches, some are hiding in their lockers, 2 of them ran off and are hiding in the bathroom stall with the little latch locked.

Coach Hicksey is enraged, yelling at the 6 Buccaneers who have been released in the big TV trim of the this years GLT major.


Bucs are playing for pride now but at least the guys who take the field will be properly motivated to finish out the GLT strong or else.


Here they are, post Hicksey melt down after round #2 ready to finish out the FTA and get some wins.

Blood Sea Buccaneers

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Last edited by PainState on May 15, 2015 - 23:09; edited 1 time in total
drunkagent



Joined: Oct 20, 2008

Post   Posted: May 15, 2015 - 19:21 Reply with quote Back to top

Rice sacked? he was your best player vs Bloody Stumble in first round!
PainState



Joined: Apr 04, 2007

Post   Posted: May 15, 2015 - 20:03 Reply with quote Back to top

10 minutes later in the other stall in the bathroom the toilet flushes. A gas so toxic fills the room, 2 Buccaneers who were hiding in the other stall pass out on the spot.

Kraghul 'Bone Snapper' walks back into the locker room and it is deserted and trashed out. A decapitated dude is slumped in the corner, towels laying all over the place, 3 locker doors have been ripped off and 4 jock straps are spinning around, stuck on the overhead fan.


"Where in the hell did the guys go?"

Bone Snapper throws on his clothes and wanders off wondering which pub he will destroy tonight

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PainState



Joined: Apr 04, 2007

Post   Posted: May 15, 2015 - 22:56 Reply with quote Back to top

3 hours later Kraghul ‘Bone Snapper’ finally found his spot. In a back alley off the row of a 100 taverns was his destination. A pub that had such a bad reputation that only the meanest low down thugs go there. It was so bad he was told by many he should have a suit of chainmail on and a trusty hand axe if you want to go there.

He stands before the door and looks up at the sign or at least what is left of the sign. Half of it has been hacked off by what looks like a halberd chop and the other half is half baked like it was on fire. All he can see is a jester with a sword through his head.

He opens up the door and walks in with authority, immediately starts to cough and backs out as a cloud of pipe smoke billows out of the pub. He collects himself and boldly walks in.

Walks up to the bar keep, scans the paltry crowd and grins. He thinks to himself that this is his type of crowd. A lair of scum and villainy surrounds him. The Wench in the corner is cleaning her nails with a dagger and over in another corner some rabble rousers are playing darts, with a Halfling strung up below the board to catch any low throws, he has 7 darts in him.

The bar keep approaches him, rubbing his dirty cleaning rag in a stein.


“Give me your biggest stein of ale.”

The bar keep reaches below the bar top and pulls out a 60OZ mug.

“Not big enough manling.”

The bar keep looks at him with a sly look and walks out from behind the bar and into the alley. Comes back in 2 minutes later with a metal trash can. Kraghul nods and the bar keep fills it with 740oz of ale. Kraghul notices that the bar keep is having a hard time lifting it so he walks around the bar and picks it up with one hand.


“Hey big fella, how you going to pay for that?”

“You see that guy over in the corner? Put it on his tab.”

The bar keep looks over to the corner and then back at Kraghul and nods his head. Kraghul walks over to the man slumped in the booth in the darkest corner of the pub and plops down across from him. Reaches over and grabs the man’s stein and dips it into his trash can and refills it.

“Here you go coach.”

Coach Hicksey looks around and sees his rookie Ogre sitting across from him holding out a stein of ale with what looks like rotten lettuce floating on top.

“ Go away rookie, Iam trying to figure out how to right the ship and gets us a win in the GLT. The thought of leaving 0/0/4 is too much to take. “

“Well you know coach, after a tough loss I just get drunk and try to find me a 1 copper girl to lift my mood.”

Coach gives him a penetrating gaze.

“You know rookie. In the big leagues we do not do stuff like that. What “we” do is get really drunk and start bar fights. That way we can get all that pent up anger out and feel good in the process.”

“I don’t know coach. You see Iam on probation in Nuln for doing that exact same thing. My old coach and you seem to think alike.”

“Well he was RIGHT!!!!! That is how you do it when you play Blood Bowl. Now if you want to stay on this squad, you and I are going to go over to that dart board. Beat up those 4 agitators and then sucker punch the fling.”

“I don’t know coach, that judge said anymore hooliganism from me would land me in jail.”

“Son, you play for the Blood Sea Buccaneers, you are immune now from all these stupid laws. You are a professional Blood Bowl player which means you can do what ever you want, well, maybe not anything but almost everything.”

Coach looks at his rookie Ogre. Sees that fire building behind his eyes, sees his fist clinch. Works like a charm coach thinks to himself. Krikack and Gromstomp fell for that speech every time.

Kraghul reaches over and puts his head in the trash can and starts to chug. Stands up and before coach can react, he charges right over into the throng of dart throwers and starts laying them out.


“That is how you do it rookie, keep throwing those haymakers.”

Coach jumps up and joins the fray. Dreams of another Legend ogre floating in his drunken brain.

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PainState



Joined: Apr 04, 2007

Post   Posted: May 16, 2015 - 05:01 Reply with quote Back to top

Oh how the Buccaneers have taken it on the chin.

Entered the GLT FTA qualifier at 2210 TV and now going into the 3rd match at 1280 TV before we hire some more guys.

Just ugly with a capital U.

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PaddyMick



Joined: Jan 03, 2012

Post   Posted: May 16, 2015 - 11:49 Reply with quote Back to top

Great read. Brutal cuts. Good luck in the last game.
PainState



Joined: Apr 04, 2007

Post   Posted: May 16, 2015 - 22:35 Reply with quote Back to top

The next morning and Kraghul is awoken by a lot of men speaking in excited voices. Their voices are nails dragging across a chalk board. He lifts his head but it is stunk momentarily by some sticky, foul smelling ooze. He looks around and it is chaos.

He sees coach talking to a tall man in dark robes, he is very animated and excited. Sitting at the bar he sees a guy signing autographs and shaking hands. That is when he feels somebody poking him in the shoulder. He turns his head, annoyed, then dizzy and then collects himself. He looks right into the face of that stupid halfling they rescued last night. He remembers the fling joining him in a round of shots of flaming Nazis and then it goes hazy.


“Oh, there he is, he finally woke up.” Coach is coming over to him with that tall dude in black robes.

“Hey rookie let me introduce you to Dark necromancer Lord Krulls Dug Tor, he is a big booster of the Buccaneers and one of our biggest supporters.”

Kraghul just smiles and waves a hand at him as he is groping for a stein of ale.

“Last night cleared my thinking rookie. I was so drunk I became sober and have seen the light of redemption on the pitch. The Dark Lord here has come around to my thinking and I called in a favor from him. Last night in a dark ritual in the back room he raised Bo ‘Knows Blood Bowl’ Jackson from the grave. He is back on the squad man! Although he does not remember much of his previous life. He does have flash backs of greatness and the Dark Lord assures me that in time he will remember. I cannot go into greater detail of how this Dark Lord performed his ritual because if I told you you might go insane and fall into a vortex of chaos.”

What? Who? Bo? That guy who has his name on all those Blood Bowl training facilities to pump out the +ST?

“Then I ran across Johnny ‘Blood Bowl’ Manziel. Well it turns out his retirement from the Bucs has gone way south. He spent all his money on booze and women and then drug rehab programs and then lost the rest in a pyramid scheme gone bad. Now even his fame has worn out and no one will pay him for his autograph. He is coming back lad!!!”

Kraghul looks over at the bar and realizes that this Johnny dude is not signing autographs, he is singing letters of intent to repay millions in gold crowns or else.

“Coach, what is Matthews doing back here? I thought you cut him?”

“Oh, no, that is Matthews version IX, I cut version XIII”

“What?”

“Oh, some gnome we rescued on an island a year or so again said he could make us a cloning device. He said that he would make us the perfect Linemen and then replicate him over and over again so we could always have the perfect lino. Well it turns out the cloning device has some issues and instead of getting awesome or dirty we are just getting a dud. So this gnome keeps tinkering with the device to hopefully one day make the perfect Lino.”

Kraghul looks at Matthews IX and then back at coach with a look of bewilderment. Points his thumb at the Halfling sitting on a tall bar stool and says.

“What is up with the fling, what does he have to do with all of this?”

“Do you not remember rookie. That is Puggy Bacon Breath. We rescued him from loan shark thugs. Seems he was down on his luck since no one will ever hire him. Seems those loan shark thugs thought Puggy here was a leprechaun and that he had a pot of gold stashed away. So they were playing darts on his chest hoping he would break.”

Puggy jumps right in the middle of the conversation

“Ok, rookie last night you told me you would toss me into the endzone, give me that thrill of actually playing Blood Bowl again, you are not going to go back on your word, are you? And coach you did say you would hire me next match so I could get back right on that loan I had to take out, are you coach?”

Coach and Kraghul are not sure of what they really said to Puggy but he is just such a poor mutt, how can they go back on their word.

“Well, anyway, Rookie lets get out here and get our new guys up and running and hit the practice field. We need to start working them into the game plan. Our next match, oh boy, it is going to be like the golden days of the Buccaneers dominating a pitch once again.”

Here they are, the new look Buccaneers ready to blow into round #3 and dominate a match.

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PainState



Joined: Apr 04, 2007

Post   Posted: Sep 26, 2015 - 18:12 Reply with quote Back to top

Well with the charity drive about to come to an end the Buccaneers have some big choices in front of me once they kick their $25 or more into the pile of money for a new server.

2 Big options are looming.

#1 Do the Buccaneers do the unthinkable? Transfer over to Box? Mass insanity might ensue from the Buccaneer faithful.


#2 Bring Back Gromstomp: retired living legend? Buccaneers with out a legend Ogre, are, well just ho hum and average. Bucs are know for one thing above all....LEGEND OGRES.


Or I was checking the Bucs past players and we do have some really "juicy" players we could un retire, a lot in fact. I have a LRB4 blitzer sitting at 150SPP with 6 skills and all he has is a niggle. So a lot of options.

So Buccaneers faithful....What should they do? Transfer to Box or bring back a legend Ogre or some other stud past player looking for another shot at glory.

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bghandras



Joined: Feb 06, 2011

Post   Posted: Sep 26, 2015 - 18:35 Reply with quote Back to top

Transform to box.

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