31 coaches online • Server time: 09:06
Forum Chat
Log in
Recent Forum Topics goto Post Theory-craft Leaguegoto Post On-spot substitution...goto Post Juggernaut as counte...
SearchSearch 
Post new topic   Reply to topic
View previous topic Log in to check your private messages View next topic
mrt1212



Joined: Feb 26, 2013

Post   Posted: Jun 02, 2014 - 17:40 Reply with quote Back to top

bghandras wrote:
Rabe wrote:
--- agility monsters newsflash --- agility monsters newsflash --- agility monsters newsflash --- agility monsters newsflash --- agility monsters newsflash --- agility monsters newsflash --- agility monsters newsflash ---

Nogli "The Sage" Jasper-Eye turns into true Agility Monster!

After years freshman thrower Nogli Jasper-Eye has become only the second Agility Monsters player to ever show a noticeable agility increase. He assured that he was all out for the balling and worked hard for where he is right now. More balling to be expected!

Coach Rabe: "I'm baffled! Nogli and Link Leadbottom, our agility trainer, have done beautiful work!"


--- agility monsters newsflash --- agility monsters newsflash --- agility monsters newsflash --- agility monsters newsflash --- agility monsters newsflash --- agility monsters newsflash --- agility monsters newsflash ---


I told you that joint practice with elves do wonders. Smile


Laughing I don't know exactly why this tickles me but it does.
Rabe



Joined: Jun 06, 2009

Post   Posted: Jun 04, 2014 - 10:39 Reply with quote Back to top

--- agility monsters newsflash --- agility monsters newsflash --- agility monsters newsflash --- agility monsters newsflash --- agility monsters newsflash --- agility monsters newsflash --- agility monsters newsflash ---

Rila is the first troll slayer ever to score 10 touchdowns

It only took Rila "Apocalypse" Bullrush 13 games to accomplish what no troll slayer before her has ever done: She scored 10 touchdowns for her team. As the sole top list contender she is practically immortalized.

Even though her latest touchdown was overshadowed by the demise of Jongor and Oham (see below), Rila seems content: "It's a great achievement. No need to stop though: I'll show those slayers out there how the balling is done. Needless to say I couldn't have done it without Rhoda and the boys. They are a great team."


--- agility monsters newsflash --- agility monsters newsflash --- agility monsters newsflash --- agility monsters newsflash --- agility monsters newsflash --- agility monsters newsflash --- agility monsters newsflash ---

Jongor goes down against zombie

Jongor "Bully" Blackmace, backbone of both offense and defense, is no more. In a game against the Sparklehunters he threw an ultimately unnecessary block and suddenly lay on the floor bleeding. When Dragg Silverstaff arrived, the undead creature had already robbed his brain and there was nothing left to do for the apothecary. Even worse: While he was examining him, Jongor's corpse rose and attacked the medic.
It also showed up on the second half, but got quickly knocked out by Nogli when it tried to grab him.

While such things happen all the time in games against the undead forces, the Monsters were still shocked and expressed their grief.

Image
R.I.P. (soon), Jongor!

It has been said that coach awambawamb abandoned Jongor's remains right after the game, but they couldn't be found. Maybe he just wandered off, but with a history of dead Monsters bodies mystically disappearing, it seems unlikely.


--- agility monsters newsflash --- agility monsters newsflash --- agility monsters newsflash --- agility monsters newsflash --- agility monsters newsflash --- agility monsters newsflash --- agility monsters newsflash ---

Monsters applied to Scheduled SMACK Legend

Even with the tragic events of late, the team doesn't retract its application to this week's Scheduled SMACK Legend.

Coach Rabe: "The team was almost ready for some tournament action. The players have trained hard for it and improved a fair bit. It would be devastating to not move on and aim high. I'm sure Jongor wouldn't have approved."


--- agility monsters newsflash --- agility monsters newsflash --- agility monsters newsflash --- agility monsters newsflash --- agility monsters newsflash --- agility monsters newsflash --- agility monsters newsflash ---

Oham Sternhand killed

As if the death of Jongor wasn't enough, a wight murdered Oham "Bigwig" Sternhand later in the same game. His demise faded in comparison though, as do the reactions. In 16 games for the Monsters the former judge didn't accomplish much. His family now threatens to sue the team for negligence. The Monsters' legal department doesn't seem concerned. A member: "Our contracts are boltproof. And they know that."

Image
R.I.P., Oham!


--- agility monsters newsflash --- agility monsters newsflash --- agility monsters newsflash --- agility monsters newsflash --- agility monsters newsflash --- agility monsters newsflash --- agility monsters newsflash ---

_________________
.
Image


Last edited by Rabe on Jun 04, 2014 - 18:46; edited 1 time in total
awambawamb



Joined: Feb 17, 2008

Post   Posted: Jun 04, 2014 - 10:55 Reply with quote Back to top

...till next time, Rabe!

now I must return to my daily desecration of Nuffle's imagery.

_________________
"la virtù sta nel cielo e nella terra, ma anche nelle nuvole e nelle stelle"

Image
Overhamsteren



Joined: May 27, 2006

Post   Posted: Jun 04, 2014 - 15:03 Reply with quote Back to top

Hehe wonder what Oham's average turns/match count was Razz

Btw my Pact team Blitzkrieg Baboons are ready to show your dwarfs how to pass and dodge like a freaky mutant anytime soon. Smile

_________________
Like a Tiger Defying the Laws of Gravity

Thanks to the BBRC for all the great work you did.
Rabe



Joined: Jun 06, 2009

Post   Posted: Jun 05, 2014 - 16:00 Reply with quote Back to top

--- agility monsters newsflash --- agility monsters newsflash --- agility monsters newsflash --- agility monsters newsflash --- agility monsters newsflash --- agility monsters newsflash --- agility monsters newsflash ---

Necromancer collects dead Agility Monsters!

Recently discovered clues lead to the assumption that someone is systematically collecting bodies of deceased Agility Monsters players. While undead Jongor is still missing, Oham's corpse disappeared as well, but could be tracked down almost to its receiver. This, together with information of other semi-reliable sources suggest that a rather powerful necromancer is the driving force behind the thefts. Which leads to more questions, the most concerning: Did he possibly turn those dead players into his undead servants?

Over 2,5 years investigators have tried to find an explanation for the ongoing disappearance of deceased Agility Monsters players' remains (see Newsflash issue from 22nd of October 2512).


--- agility monsters newsflash --- agility monsters newsflash --- agility monsters newsflash --- agility monsters newsflash --- agility monsters newsflash --- agility monsters newsflash --- agility monsters newsflash ---

_________________
.
Image
Rabe



Joined: Jun 06, 2009

Post   Posted: Jun 06, 2014 - 15:38 Reply with quote Back to top

--- agility monsters newsflash --- agility monsters newsflash --- agility monsters newsflash --- agility monsters newsflash --- agility monsters newsflash --- agility monsters newsflash --- agility monsters newsflash ---

First round Legend SMACK match possibly tonight

Coach SpacemanJames and coach Rabe have confirmed that the game between the Monsters and the Spacers is loosely scheduled for tonight. If it works out, the kickoff will be between 20:30 and 21:00 bbtime.


--- agility monsters newsflash --- agility monsters newsflash --- agility monsters newsflash --- agility monsters newsflash --- agility monsters newsflash --- agility monsters newsflash --- agility monsters newsflash ---

_________________
.
Image
Rabe



Joined: Jun 06, 2009

Post   Posted: Jun 19, 2014 - 20:39 Reply with quote Back to top

--- agility monsters newsflash --- agility monsters newsflash --- agility monsters newsflash --- agility monsters newsflash --- agility monsters newsflash --- agility monsters newsflash --- agility monsters newsflash ---

Dead Agility Monsters reassembled as Blood Bowl team

Shocking news: Not only have the bodies of many Agility Monsters players been collected and raised from the dead (as previously reported), but they have also been trained in the art of Blood Bowl once again. Unimaginative and bluntly provoking, the undead team has been named "Ex-Agility Monsters".

Agonizing detail: The infamous Lich Lord Dalforce Ritedabbler who controls the team seems to be affiliated with coach Dalfort, a close friend of Agility Monsters coach Rabe. The latter refused any comment, but sources close to him suggest that he'll confront Dalfort tonight - in the margins of the coach's 1000th Ranked game.


--- agility monsters newsflash --- agility monsters newsflash --- agility monsters newsflash --- agility monsters newsflash --- agility monsters newsflash --- agility monsters newsflash --- agility monsters newsflash ---

_________________
.
Image
Rabe



Joined: Jun 06, 2009

Post   Posted: Jul 13, 2014 - 22:20 Reply with quote Back to top

--- agility monsters newsflash --- agility monsters newsflash --- agility monsters newsflash --- agility monsters newsflash --- agility monsters newsflash --- agility monsters newsflash --- agility monsters newsflash ---

First XFL match probably later tonight!

The Monsters management has confirmed: The team will most likely face 1972 The Cowboys 2 today, starting soon after 23:00 bbtime. Head coach Rabe is optimistic about the first round XFL match: "The Monsters are in good shape and far more experienced than the Cowboys. They have an impressive record, but I'm confident we can beat them!"


--- agility monsters newsflash --- agility monsters newsflash --- agility monsters newsflash --- agility monsters newsflash --- agility monsters newsflash --- agility monsters newsflash --- agility monsters newsflash ---

Three new Monsters for the XFL

Obviously happy, head coach Rabe presented three new recruits for the Monsters. Thereby the team finally consists of twelve regular members again, which should drastically improve their chances in the upcoming XFL matches and elsewhere. Blitzer Uedi Goldchewer, blocker Harad Woodchopper and blocker Grod Powerslave have been training intensely with the Monsters for a few days now, the blockers already proved themselves as journeymen.

--- agility monsters newsflash --- agility monsters newsflash --- agility monsters newsflash --- agility monsters newsflash --- agility monsters newsflash --- agility monsters newsflash --- agility monsters newsflash ---

_________________
.
Image
SvenS



Joined: Jul 07, 2007

Post   Posted: Jul 14, 2014 - 10:48 Reply with quote Back to top

Go new bloods! Wink

_________________
IL-S

SL
Rabe



Joined: Jun 06, 2009

Post   Posted: Jul 15, 2014 - 00:50 Reply with quote Back to top

--- agility monsters newsflash --- agility monsters newsflash --- agility monsters newsflash --- agility monsters newsflash --- agility monsters newsflash --- agility monsters newsflash --- agility monsters newsflash ---

Agility Monsters win first XFL game

After some forth and back, the Monsters managed to beat "1972 The Cowboys 2" in overtime by stopping their offense and stealing the ball. With a bye for round one, the Monsters are now technically in round three of the 9th XFL. Next up is coach Tauro's "Tonight is the night". The teams have more than 14 days to schedule the match. Stay tuned for updates.


--- agility monsters newsflash --- agility monsters newsflash --- agility monsters newsflash --- agility monsters newsflash --- agility monsters newsflash --- agility monsters newsflash --- agility monsters newsflash ---

_________________
.
Image
SvenS



Joined: Jul 07, 2007

Post   Posted: Jul 15, 2014 - 09:37 Reply with quote Back to top

\o/ Go Agility Monsters!

_________________
IL-S

SL
Rabe



Joined: Jun 06, 2009

Post   Posted: Jul 29, 2014 - 14:40 Reply with quote Back to top

--- agility monsters newsflash --- agility monsters newsflash --- agility monsters newsflash --- agility monsters newsflash --- agility monsters newsflash --- agility monsters newsflash --- agility monsters newsflash ---

Tough XFL match coming up tomorrow

On Wednesday, 22:00 bbtime, the Monsters will finally face coach Tauro's "Tonight is the night" in XFL round 3.
Coach Rabe, surprisingly unenthusiastic: "A dwelfballer does what a dwelfballer has to do. In this case: Teaching some brutal dwarves a lesson in the more refined aspects of the game."


--- agility monsters newsflash --- agility monsters newsflash --- agility monsters newsflash --- agility monsters newsflash --- agility monsters newsflash --- agility monsters newsflash --- agility monsters newsflash ---

_________________
.
Image
Rabe



Joined: Jun 06, 2009

Post   Posted: Sep 13, 2014 - 11:24 Reply with quote Back to top

--- agility monsters newsflash --- agility monsters newsflash --- agility monsters newsflash --- agility monsters newsflash --- agility monsters newsflash --- agility monsters newsflash --- agility monsters newsflash ---

SPECIAL: New financial manager sets course for FC preparation

After the quick exit from the Lustrian Challenge Qualifier and ongoing financial troubles, coach Rabe has taken drastic measures to get the team ready for the FUMBBL Cup: He hired his cousin Cerin Goldjuggler as new financial manager. A controversial choice, as Goldjuggler is infamous for his ruthless, sometimes opaque methods.

Rabe: "We are kin, I trust him. There are many lies floating around about him. He offered his service almost for free, and I gladly accepted. I'm sure he can restore his good reputation by working for the Monsters. It's a win-win situation!"

Goldjuggler already developed an action plan of 78 pages. Asked about its essence, he summarized five crucial steps to success:

1. Less training.
2. More winning.
3. More fans (and FAME).
4. No player retirements.
5. Less marketing.

Immediate criticism by other management employees, fans and independent observers was blocked by coach Rabe and his cousin.

Rabe: "I'm well aware it won't be easy for any of us. We'll make up for it with a deep run in this year's FUMBBL Cup! With Celin's help we'll be able to field a strong, confident team. Opponents already struggle to stop us now. Once our player numbers are up, victory is at hand!"

Scepticism not only grows in the team's periphery. Brumbas, last active original team member, is not shy of speaking up:
"I don't like this Celin and even less so his plans. I've played over 200 games for the Monsters now and that approach reminds me of mistakes of the teams' early days that I thought we had overcome. The steep cuts to the training hurts already, and not only our balling abilities. I feel a gap is opening between coach and team. Some of us are afraid that Rabe is suffering from another attack of megalomania and loss of reality. Well, we shall see how it works out. May Nuffle help us."

Amen.

--- agility monsters newsflash --- agility monsters newsflash --- agility monsters newsflash --- agility monsters newsflash --- agility monsters newsflash --- agility monsters newsflash --- agility monsters newsflash ---

_________________
.
Image
Rabe



Joined: Jun 06, 2009

Post   Posted: Sep 13, 2014 - 12:51 Reply with quote Back to top

--- agility monsters newsflash --- agility monsters newsflash --- agility monsters newsflash --- agility monsters newsflash --- agility monsters newsflash --- agility monsters newsflash --- agility monsters newsflash ---

Rabe attacks Brumbas verbally

Less than two hours after Brumbas' assessment has been published in the Newsflash, Rabe furiously retaliates:

"He's been hit over the head a bit too often! Especially in the last game, that we would have won if it wasn't for him getting pow'ed all the time!! He better shuts up and learns how to do his job before he tells me how to do mine!!! After all, he should be lucky: If it wasn't for our new anti-retirements policy, he might be the first one to go!!!!"

The Newsflash will monitor the further development closely.


--- agility monsters newsflash --- agility monsters newsflash --- agility monsters newsflash --- agility monsters newsflash --- agility monsters newsflash --- agility monsters newsflash --- agility monsters newsflash ---

_________________
.
Image
awambawamb



Joined: Feb 17, 2008

Post   Posted: Sep 13, 2014 - 14:01 Reply with quote Back to top

Looks like our cousins are always in the process of bickering for an ounce of mithril... they should learn to go together. The Portents are a tight team, no matter how many legs, tails, horns you got or the colour of your skin.

Very Happy

_________________
"la virtù sta nel cielo e nella terra, ma anche nelle nuvole e nelle stelle"

Image
Display posts from previous:     
 Jump to:   
All times are GMT + 1 Hour
Post new topic   Reply to topic
View previous topic Log in to check your private messages View next topic