| Poll |
| Who is teh sexiest OBBA star? |
| The Duke |
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49% |
[ 26 ] |
| The Duke |
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50% |
[ 27 ] |
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| Total Votes : 53 |
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Alcrab
Joined: Apr 30, 2015
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 Posted:
Sep 28, 2015 - 13:39 |
 
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Round 3 – CONFERENCE SOUTH
GAME 2 - IPSWITCH TOWN FC vs RATALANTA BC
DODGETASTIC! Skaven vs Amazon is a fight of the dodgers. There's a lot of skill on this pitch today, but also a lot of potential for injury. Both coaches are well respected and Ratalanta come into this game with an unbeaten record in the league, but IpsWitch are fresh from a win In their last game so it's going to be tight...
The referee blows the whistle and the game begins with a riot! 13,000 fans charge the field, and it takes a fair amount of time to get hem all off the pitch...
The Zons begin comfortably, collecting the ball deep and organising their formation but Ratalanta's pace means they manage to throw players into the opposition half. German Denis gets within inches of the ball but Paul Cooper keeps his cool and gets the ball to George Burley in the middle of an IpsWitch dominated midfield.
Ratalanta do their best to get back and Davide Zappacosta knocks out Ray crawford in the process, IpsWitch however play on and continue to assert their presence in the middle of the pitch; the rats can't even get near the ball. As the ball is worked into the fnial third, the rats close ranks and do everything they can to apply pressure to the oncoming Zon offensive. Carlos Carmona attempts to break the attack down but winds up stunning himself on the ground and IpsWitch are left with a clear path to the goal...
Arnold Muhren doesn't mess around and walks it in to the bottom left! The fans go wild and there doesn't appear to be enough time on the clock for an equalizer before the break. There is just enough time for Marco Sportiello of Ratalanta to practice his skills, meanwhile Ray Crawford is waking up and the doctor clears him to continue playing so both teams can return full strength for the second half.
But Wait! The Referee appears to be saying something to the Ratalanta captain... this doesn't look good, My word, he appears to be pulling out a red card, but its for Mauricio Pinilla! The cameras missed it but he appears to have stamped on Ted Phillips! Phillips is badly hurt and certainly both players game is over...
The second half begins, I don't know what was said to IpsWitch at half, maybe the foul on Phillips has galvanised them but the don't appear to be happy with just one nill, the second the whistle goes they blitz the Ratalanta defence...
They cover the ball but the rats refuse to give up. Giuseppe Biava knocks into goalscorer Arnold Muhren and injures him, the physios are quick on the pitch with the stretcher though and it looks like they've fixed him to come back on when there's a break in the play. Meanwhile Migliaccio gets the ball and brings it round to Daniele Baselli, not the most accurate pass but theyve got possession again and when a team as fast as Ratalanta have the ball its timer to worry...
Mick mills attempts to tackle the ball but cant bring his man down, its going to be down to who wins the midfield battle. In the middle of the mayhem Billy Baxter fouls Boukary Drame but the ref is having none of it. Suddenly German Dennis trips and lands on his face, giving Mills a second chance to tackle Baselli, this time he takes it, stunning his opponent, the agile George Burley comes to collect the loose ball and support arrives in the form of Frans Thijssen.
Kevin Beattie tries to tackle Biava off the ball but has fractured his own leg! It looks serious, he'll miss the next game for sure...
The now angry ratalanta players force Paul Cooper into the crowd, Migliaccio and Carmona team up to knock Burley down, he gets knocked out in the process as the ball goes loose. Thijssen attempts to dodge out of a tackle in order to reach the ball but he too is knocked out. IpsWitch are quickly running out of players on the pitch.
With this extra space Carmona can easily get the ball out to Sportiello who rushes forward down the left flank. With the defenders so out of positon he's sure to score from there... He doesn't take the shot immediately though and lines up on the left. John wark however gets back and Sportiello is forced to take the safe option placing the ball bottom left. GOAL! 1-1 with only fifteen minutes left...
Paul cooper collects from deep and gets the ball to George Burley who takes up position in midfield. Ratalanta try to apply pressure but Davide Zappacosta ends up getting badly hurt in a tough challenge from John Wark. IpsWitch advance towards the final third with the clock approaching full time, they are outnumbering the Rats on this side of the pitch and the crowd are right behind them. Burley decides to take his chance and powers forward...
THRIKER!! Burley scores with the last touch of the game and steals it, making it 2-1 at the final whistle...
IpsWitch win 2-1 propelling them into the top half of the table. A great run after losing their opening game of the season. Ratalanta are not to be written off though, they will surely come back stronger after this game and are expected to challenge come the end of the season... |
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Alcrab
Joined: Apr 30, 2015
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| Posted:
Sep 28, 2015 - 13:40 |
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Round 3 – CONFERENCE SOUTH
GAME 3 - FC UNITED OF MIDDENHEIM vs HELLAS VERDONA
This game has a bit of everything for the fans! Elves for the ballskills, Gobbos for entertainment, no less than 2 Star Players! Fungus and Nobbla on loan for Hellas Verdona. The gobbos came out in force, nearly TEN THOUSAND goblins turned up and in total there were 15,000 screaming fans here, by far the most popular of our weekend fixtures...
The whistle goes and there is a green blur as the gobbos blitz the opposition. Bosko Jankovic makes it deep into the Middenheim half but trips just short of the ball, Middenheim collect the ball and man mark right across the midfield relying on superior strength over the diminutive Hellas Verdona players.
Almost immediatley, journeyman Coldbrook is knocked out by Rafael but his teammates play on. MY GOD! Out of nowhere Luca Toni leaps OVER a defender and takes out Calovi Eriyapari and the ball flies loose to the awaiting Jancovic who is now back on his feet.
Luckily for Fc United of Middenheim, Imazaithiri has his head screwed on and tackles Jancovic, straight away the ball is loose and the game is open once again. Eninaapasi collects and passes to Eriyapari and Romuro of Hellas Verdona fails to take him down.Eriyapari makes a break for it and now there are 4 elves to only 2 defending gobbos in the Verdona half.
Rafael attempts to throw Pisano into the thick of it but ends up just knocking him out. Two of the defenders do make it to the ball however and the might Jankovic who seems to be involved in everything gets in a perfectly timed tackle and the ball is out. On the other side of the pitch Luca Toni blocks Emafamime and breaks his jaw! So far the Hellas Verdona Gobbos are winning the war of attrition.
Middenheim compose themselves though and Eriyapari once again gets the ball forward and dashes towards goal while teammates do their best to obstruct the opposition. Jancovic gets back to block the shot but its too late and Middenheim open the scoring. 1 – 0.
The elves are now playing with 9 men and loan star Nobbla has been subbed on to cause more damage in the first half. After collecting the ball Simon Laner blatantly fouls Ayelislome and he's badly hurt. The ref immediatley pulls out a red card.
It appears now the manager is having a chat with the ref, he seems to be giving him a small envelope, this is all very suspicious. But oh dear the ref is still unimpressed and gives Laner his marching orders, the nine thousand gobbos in the stand are furious! Does somebody want to explain the rules to them? Any takers?
Middenheim surge forward, they'll have to make do with 7 players now. Toni attempts to get the ball to Emil Hallfreðsson but its missplaced, the whistle blows for half time and it appears Nobbla has been banned from returning for the second half for a rules infringement, it seems he had some sort of non-regulation kit or equipment with him.. It's ok though because he has been replace by Fungus the Loon, another loan signing.
Hellas Verdonas get themselves into a good position, Filip Helander gets himself knocked out though. They move forward into Middenheim's half and it appears Jancovic has fouled Redarifacici, the ref however seems to have given up on trying to regulate this game. The gobbos keep advancing and now Eriyapari of Middenheim as somehow tripped over his own laces and knocked himself out. This games is turning into a complete farce, we're now watching 10 against 6...
BREAKING NEWS! It turns out Nobbla was banned for brining a CHAINSAW onto the pitch, but what's this? The goblin army is cheering, it turns out Ivano Baldanzeddu has one as well! He waves it at Fima Imazaithiri and the poor elf has fainted, he's fallen awkwardly and has been badly hurt, the gobbos now outnumber the elves two to one on the pitch as well as in the stands...
Another minute passes, another foul, no decision by the ref, he look's terrified, he's seeing green in every direction and is too afraid to stop the madness! It may be 1-0 to Middenheim but this is quickly becoming the Hellas Verdona show!
GOAL!!! Giampaolo Pazzini scores making it 1-1, there is still plenty of time in this game and there are now only 6 elves playing.
FC United of Middenheim collect the ball and do what they can to make a coherent formation but this isn't going to be pretty. Pazzini attempts a foul and it seems the ref has taken his pills because he immediately bans the dirty green cheat, Middenheim still have the ball.
Rederifacici makes a break for it, with a little elf ball we could see a winner here from Middenheim! But Eninaapasi trips! Oh dear they are just not looking confident out there today. Albertazzi collects the ball with easy, circles round the midfield and passes cleanly to Luca Toni, Toni bursts free and dashes diagonally across the now empty Middenheim half...
Another cheer from the green crowd, that can mean only one thing! Another foul. The ref is sticking to his guns though, another Hellas Verdona player heading to the tunnel, a stain on the game, a hero to his fans. He is the SEVENTH sending off so far, the gobbos now have more players in the stand than there are elves on the pitch!
Middenheim try their best but Toni walks it in. 2-1 Hellas Verdona, what a turnaround!
*The fourth and final fixture of the wekend was forfeited as the divisions only wood elf team have been dismissed after nasty rumours about wardancers and treeman saplings have surface in recent days.
We do however look forward to hearing the antics of Wimbledon FC's crazy gang and Gobbo Vallecano next week, until then enjoy your round 4 games! PEACE |
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Medon
Joined: Jan 28, 2015
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Sep 29, 2015 - 13:05 |
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In tonight's show we will discuss the matches played in the third round of OBBA League One. We've created a recording studio in one of the rooms of the town hospital. With us in the room are Ruud Gullit (PSV Enthoven, recovering from gouged eye), Sylvain Distin (Elverton BBC, recovering from a fractured arm), and Fabian Götze (SpVgg Underhacking, recovering from a fractured leg). Fabian:'"I protested several times about being on the same room as these stinky pointy ears! But the doctors won't move me away! It's a outrage!"
Royal Valhalladolik (TV 1820k Norse) - PSV Enthoven (TV 1830k Wood Elf)
Date: 2015-09-22 21:32:19
Gate: 31000
The first match of the round was played in the frozen stadium of Valhalladolik. Ruud: "We don't fear those berserkers, we have our own Berserker Van Nistelrooij, who's going all frenzy on the pitch ever since his 2nd skill up."
PSV kicked off for the first half. In their first turn, Royal Valhalladolik KO'ed two elves, managed to block the tree prone, and built a very secure cage around their AG4 blodge ball carrier. But in the subsequent PSV turn, Mateja Kezman, the recently contracted rookie catcher, managed kill norse Berserker Pedro Lopez (The apo managed to patch him up again). Fabian: "I really, realy hate those pointy ears. But I must say I like that STR2 blocking capabilities of that Kezman bloke".
In turn 2, wardancers Ruud van Nistelrooij and Luc Nilis both leaped into the Norse cage and managed to pop the ball loose and score a lightning quick 1-0 in turn 3. Sylvain: "The superiority of the elvish race on the blood bowl pitch is unprecendented. This is the why the spectators keep going to the stadium every week!"
In turn 7 the situation looked grim for Valhalladolid. Ballcarrier Victor was manmarked by two elves and several norse players lied prone. Then, Valhalladolid showed some very nice gallery play. Victor dodged loose, threw a quick pass to Nano who demonstrated a nice catch and sprinted deep into the PSV backfield. Van Nistelrooij could keep up with Nano's sprint and placed a good tackle flooring the norse ball carrier. But Pedro Lopez picked up the ball, handed it off to Luis Prieto who ran it into the endzone. 1-1! Ruud: "Whereas PSV depends more on the individual talent of Van Nistelrooij, the Valhalladolid plays strong as a team and showed a very strong team performance here, involving five different players in the attack."
In the 2nd half, Valhalladolid planned to rack up the casualties. But it was PSV lineelf René van de Kerkhof who killed berserker Sesma in a well placed block (it later turned out that this apparent death only made Sesma stronger, and he re-appeared in the next match as an Ulfwerener). In turn 5 two sepcacular things happened. First, Norse lineman Nano placed a good boot on catcher Hans van Breukelen killing him in the process, but the apo managed to patch him up again. Still, the casualties racked up to 1 KO and 3 BH for the Elves. Next catcher Kezman broke through the Norse defense and scored the 2-1. Fabian: "What I really liked about this drive was the beating on the Elves. 1 KO, 3 BH and one kill by foul. It's a shame the apo brought that catcher back."
In the final drive of the match, the Norse continued with what they are good at: Taking elves out. After a few turns of beating and fouling 8 elves were out, and only the tree, catcher, thrower and a lineelf were still standing... erm.. lying prone... on the pitch. In the last turn, norse AG4 blodger Victor needed to do a handoff to allow berserker Marcos to score. The crowd started shouting and stomping. Marcos hád to score. It was an open target! But alas... Marcos proved to be very susceptible to the pressure that the crowd and team mates, and last but not least himself, put on him. He started sweating and dropped the ball from his slippery hands even with team reroll. So the game ended in 2-1 victory for PSV. Silvain: "The Norse showed some real talent for 'elfballing' this match. We suggest to coach Tesifonte to proceed on this true righteous path and switch careers to start coaching the one true players of blood bowl, a pro elf team."
Red Zharr-Hellgrade (TV 1630k Chaos Dwarf) - Naoned Olympic Spiked Shoe (TV 1640k Human)
Date: 2015-09-22 22:43:36
Gate: 23000
The match between the Red Zharr-Hellgrade and Naoned Olympic Spiked Shoe was played on the same night as the PSV - Valhalladolid match. Red Zharr kicked off and Naoned started the offensive drive with some well-placed blocks. Red Zharr started with very agressive defense and bull centaur I'Van Toplakh raced straight at the ball carrier Erwin ZELAZNY in the back field of Naoned. Naoned wasn't impressed and Erwin simply passed the ball off to catcher Serge GAKPÉ. The Naoned players positioned themselves right at the edge of the field on the right wing. Red Zharr took the bait and the slow dwarves were all lured on to the right wing. A quick break out via a hand-off to AG4 Blitzer Chaker ALHADHUR II left on the left wing far out of reach for the Red Zharr players. Bull Centaur Drakk'n Džajik tried to reach Chaker but tripped over is own hooves. Although Drakk'n did finally manage to reach Chaker and even KO him, the dwarves were still far, far away and couldn't give support. Naoned could easily stall until turn 7 and score the 1-0! Ruud: "The clumsyness and slowness of the dwarven race is legendary. It is easy to exploit for a good ball handler such as an elf or as the talented AG4 Naoned Blitzer Chaker ALHADHUR II. I hope Chaker recovers from his KO so we can see him in action again in the second half".
In the second half, Naoned place a very, very good kick near the edge on the right wing of the Red Zharr defense... or should we say left wing of the Naoned atack, because thats what it looks like after a few turns. The dwarves are all occupied near the line fo scrimmage while the Naoned blitzers rush forward to retrieve the ball on the Red Zharr half, only to be held back by three rookie Hobgoblins. Serge GAKPÉ tries to score in turn 4, but trips over the hooves of bull centaur I'Van Toplakh. The crowd throws in the ball right at the feet of the chaos dwarves who were still guarding the LoS. But thrower Erwin ZELAZNY quickly retrieves the ball is is out to set for a score. In an heroic act, Hobgoblin D'Jan P'Trov killed Naoned blitzer Oswaldo VIZCARRONDO but the apo managed to turn it into an MNG. Finally, while the dwarves are still guarding the LoS, Erwin ZELAZNY walks in the TD in turn 5, 2-0! Fabian: "I really started to like that hopgoblin D'Jan P'Trov during the match. He placed some nice blocks and also handles the ball well. I'm planning om feeding him some warpstone and abducting him to join our own team as Underworld Goblin."
In the final drive of the match, Red Zharr is focused on saving the honour and scoring a TD. Hopoblin D'Jan P'Trov shows off his nice balling skills and completes a short pass to Hopgoblin I'vn B'Janik, who runs off to a left wing attack backed up by the bull centaurs and two Dwarves. I'vn hands off the ball to bull centaur I'Van Toplakh, who blitzes his way free and runs towards the end zone, however with little support. Erwin ZELAZNY manages to get enough assists for a 2D block and brings I'Van to the ground popping the ball free. Hopgoblin I'vn B'Janik wants to play the elvish way and runs towards the end zone for a turn 8 catch, but hogoblin M'Trovikh L'Ka fumbles the pass, leaving the 2-0 for Naoned as the end result. Sylvain: "What were these Hopgoblins thinking? Hopgoblins are no Elves. Why do they even bother to throw the ball, if they know they're going to fumble it anyway?? A well deserved victory for Naoned."
SpVgg Underhacking (TV 1390 Underworld) - Emirate Stadium Swingers (TV 1780k Simyin)
Date: 2015-09-23 22:39:11
Gate: 30000
The match starts with a pitch invansion, leaving many players on both sides stunned. SpVgg Underhacking begins their offensive drive with some turns of Gorilla bashing and chainsawing but causes no casualties. In turn 4, they try an attack over the right wing which turns out to become a disaster. Underworld Goblin Stefan Haas trips over a Gorilla foot and knocks himself out, exposing ball carrier Benjamin Schwarz III to a blitz by chimpanzee Lucas Podolski. Bonobo THomas Rosicky retrieves the ball and the counter-attack by the Stadium Swingers starts. Nobbla Blackwart does manage to badly hurt silverback Wojciec Szczesny II, and warpstone troll Felix Ruml does manage to kill gorilla Mathieu Debuchy II, but this does not prevent the stadium swingers to score in turn 8 of the drive. 1-0 for the apes! Ruud: "Nobbla Blackwart always give me the creeps. You never know what he's up to. I hope the ref sends him home quickly!"
However, a succesful bribe allows Nobbla to stay on the pitch. Let's see what damage he may cause in the 2nd half... The stadium swingers cage up, but a well-plced lightning bolt on bonobo ball carrier Alex Oxlade-Chamberlain allows Underhacking thrower Benjamin Schwarz III to retrieve the ball. A brawl for the ball starts in which a few KOs and CASs are experienced. When the dust settles we see bonobo ball carrier Alex Oxlade-Chamberlain run away with the ball again into the back field of Underhacking. Warpstone troll Felix Ruml feels very stupid for a few turns and can not clear a path towards bonobo Alex. Alex scores in turn 6: 2-0 for the apes! Fabian: "Had I been on the pitch, this would not have happened. My fellow Underworld Goblins failed way too many dodges and didn't place good blocks. There's definately something we should train the coming weeks.".
In the final drive of the match, Red Zharr... erm... SpvGG Underhacking is focused on saving the honour and scoring a TD. In their first turn, thrower Josef Weizmüller picks up the ball and hands it off to underworld goblin Alon Abelski. Warpstone troll Felix Ruml picks up Alon, does not feel hungry, and throws the underworld goblin over the ape defense. Alon lands on his feet and sprints towards the endzone. Wow! TTM-1TTD! Nice gallery play. Underhacking are back in business with the 'Anschlusstor' 1-2. In the last two turns, Underhacking tries to pull off a stunt and sprints into the backfield of the stadium swingers. Unfortunately for them they fail to reach the bonobo ball carrier Jack Wilshere and end the turn 8 with a 2-1 loss. Silvain: "Throw Team Mate touch downs always remain special. It is nice to see a Goblin fly through the air and have him land on his feet in one piece. I really love the sound they make as the fly through the air."
Torpedo Wigan (TV 1540 Chaos Dwarf) - Glassjaw Strangers (TV 1710k Nurgle)
Date: 2015-09-28 23:02:01
Gate: 27000
The fourth match of the round was something completely different. Chaos Dwarf vs. Nurgle. Do not expect gallery play wth passes, catches, dodges and flying team mates here. This will most liekly turn out to become a war on the LoS. Torpedo Wigan kicks off and the Strangers start their offensive drive. Indeed, a war around the LoS started and Nurgle Warrior RObbie Crawford became the first victim witha groin strain. Pestigor Marius Zaliukas managed to break through the defensive line and run into the Torpedo backfield. When ball carrier Pestigor Kenny Miller tried to reach him, he got tackled by bull centaur Bir Rabalou, who even managed to retrieve the bouncing ball. An entertaining scramble for the ball started, in which the bal changed sides every turn. An early turnover due to a skull block by a dwarf led to the doom of Torpedo Wigan. The ball was free for Pestigor Dean Shiels to pick it up and walk it into the end zone... 1-0 for the Strangers! Ruud: "These bull centaurs are very dangerous, with STR4 break tackle and sprint/sure feet they can get anywhere on the pitch. But these slow and clumsy Dwarves simply could not keep up with the pace of the game, allowing the pestigors an easy score."
In the second half, Torpedo started their offensive drive to try to score the 1-1. Hobgoblin Dahsa carried the ball and led the attack over the left wing. Meanwhile, on the right wing hopgoblin Feelon heoically tried to keep some Glassjaw Strangers busy. It led to him begin crowdsurfed and getting badly hurt. But it was not in vain: Enough time was bought for Dahsa to run in the ball for 1-1- in turn 5! Fabian: "This Goblin Feelon is a true hero. He deserves a statue for courage and dare, although he is definately not one of the smartest. Had he been one of us, we would have tought him how to dodge away from the attackers, leaving them standing behind near the sideline."
In the remainder of the second half, both teams desparately tried to claim the ball and score the winning 2-1 in an exciting last drive. Glassjaw Strangers received. Pestigor Kenny Miller picked up the ball and Marius Zaliukas, Dean Shiels and Richard Fosterrushed into Torpedo's half. Torpedo aimed for the quick counter and threw a lightning bolt at Kenny Miller. Unfortunately, bull centaur Ferufezan tripped by a failed break tackle dodge before he could reach the ball. As he went to the ground, he shouted a terrible curse involving Rotter Ray Wilkins' mothers former profession. Ray completely lost it and started fouling wildly at the prone bull centaur as first move of the turn. The ref was only a few yards away and saw it all happen. He showed the red card and sent Ray off to his mother. After the turnover, bull centaur Ferufezan could simply walk to the ball and pick it up and run towards the end zone in a comfortable position to score. Kenny Miller finally got to his feet again after lying on the pitch for two turns. He dodged away from Bir Rabalou and could place a good blitz on Ferufezan, flooring him and picking up the ball in the process. In the last turn, Torpedo took no risks and settled for the 1-1 by guarding the ball rather than to try the unlikely score. Final score 1-1- in a well balanced match. Sylvain: "Elves never ever settle for the 1-1, with our superb agility and movement we can always pull off a last turn touchdown attempt. But I don't blame Torpedo. Had I been a Chaos Dwarf coach, I would also give up on winning any game and settle for the occasional draw."
FFC Tyrol Nainsbrück (TV 1380 Dwarf) - Elverton BBC (TV 1370 Pro Elf)
This match wasn't played in time for our broadcast. Maybe the Dwarves got scared by the Elves and didn't dare to enter the pitch? If they find back their courage before Sep 30th, we might dedicate an additional broadcast to this match. |
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Medon
Joined: Jan 28, 2015
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Sep 29, 2015 - 17:15 |
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Speaking of coincidence! We hadn't yet left the hospital and were still chatting with the nurses when we heard that the final game of round 3, between FFC Tyrol Nainsbrück (TV 1380 Dwarf) and Elverton BBC (TV 1370 Pro Elf), had started! The gate was 27000, with slightly more dwarves in the audience as elves. The dwarves kicked off very deep, with the ball close to the end zone of the elves. But, using a hand-off and a throw, the elves managed to retrieve the ball and bring their MA9 AG5 catcher Leighton Baines in scoring position. But in the next turn Luke Garbott, the rookie catcher, blew up the entire offense by tripping on a go for it as the first move of the turn. After this fast turn-over, the dwarves started 'Elfbashing' but somehow didn't manage to knock down the ball carrier or injure any player. Elf blitzer Phil Jagielka leaped over some dwarves and pushed troll slayer Karald Killger into the crowd. Ball carrier Leighton Baines retreated deep into his own half, waiting for the next attack. In the next turn, rookie lineelf Tyias Browning pushed the other troll slayer Harald Blomer into the crowd. The elves were outnumbering the dwarves! The remainder of the first half was a long battle for the ball, at which more and more dwarves showed up and more and more elves started leaving the pitch. The half ended 0-0 with 5 elves out, and Sean Whitebone was brought into the hospital room with a smashed knee. Nurse: "We always welcome new Elves in our hospital, we even have a special room for them as they are regular visitors"
The elves miraculously recovered at half time and Elverton could field 11 players at kick-off again. The elves kicked-off but sneakily rushed forward into the dwarf half before the ref blew the whistle. Leighton Baines caught the Elves' own kick-off deep into the dwarf backfield. The dwarves managed to retrieve the ball and Trond Mulder was securely caged up by some mean looking fellow team mates. After a failed leaping blitz on the ball carrier by Phil Jagielka the elves retreated to form a defensive line. A second leaping blitz did badly hurt the ball carrier (why was Phil Jagielka not fouled???). James McCarthy retrieved the ball and handed it off to catcher Luke Garbott, who retreated deep into his own half, only to rush forward again the next turn and hand off the ball to Leighton Baines, who rushed forward to score in turn 6! 1-0 for the elves! In the remainder of the 2nd half, the dwarves tried to move forward for a two turn score but it was not succesful. At the final whistle of the ref. it was still 1-0 victory for the elves. Ruud and Sylvain: "Hurray!", Fabian: "Snort snort". |
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Tesifonte
Joined: Sep 06, 2004
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Sep 30, 2015 - 19:47 |
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Coach Mendifonte thought he had seen it all.
But he hadn't.
"MONKEYS???" - he exclaimed. -"WHAT IN THE NINE HELLS ARE YOU TALKING ABOUT???" - he shoved his assistant off the way- "HAVE YOU BEEN ON A CALVADOS STRICT DIET AGAIN!??"
The assistant mumbled something about seeing is believing and opened the changing room door. Then, the screeching and the grumbles were audible. There was a trail of banana peels all over the corridor.
"God. Ferk. No. It's true. What the ferk??" - Mendifonte scratched his head, completely puzzled. "And this cowpie is legal? We're playing animals, god sake. I need to speak to the league commissioner immediatly."
The assistant mumbled something again.
"OK! OK! OK! O-Ferking-Kay! We will play!"
Mendifonte turned to his players...
"Boys... Try to do your best. This is gonna be weird. And for PeteW's sake, be careful with those banana skins alright?" |
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TaChIkOmA! \o/ |
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Eusebio
Joined: Sep 20, 2011
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Oct 04, 2015 - 20:53 |
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Round 3
League of the BESTEST aka Premiership
Beitar Jerusalem : Pro-Russia Dortmund
Result 1:3 (4:0)
Attendance 34.000
The situation was not good for the pro Russians. 0 points to their accounts and just one TD and the Coach Dat Monsta was already doubted by most of the fans. On the other hand, Nicodemus had to win in order to not lose contact to the top. So we were expecting a great game, a tie would not have helped anyone.
Necros started the game. Dani Preda used his instincts to rush to the ball but could not catch the ball. He could pick it up afterwards, but in all this mess Beitar forgot to blitz. Against those lightarmored elfes a serious thing to forget. Freaky elves of Dortmund then decided to do nothing, but a wall... Shame on you! This is called BloodBowl and blood needs to be spilled.
They took that advice seriously: Hack Enslash was blitzed and has gone KO, never to return. He was spotted by the ref and sent from the pitch shortly after his recovery. Angrily Boris, the werewolf sent Star-Cathcer Reusoska in the Cas-Box. Badly Hurt! In return the elves used their Wizard, who brought down the Ghoul. Luckily soon-to-be Zombie-Star Clucas catched the ball. Hummelskin blitzed him, popped the ball free and again it was retrieved by the necros. Hen Azriel cought it. Elves wennt all in and marked as much players as they could.
After a KO on the blitzer Großkotzki, Beitar came to relative saftey near the sidelines, but a 1d Blitz wrestled Hen to the ground. The Ball was gone, but soon regained, after the filthy elves were blocked prone.
Then the miracleturn happened. -2d to make way and then once again Hummelskin brought the ballcarrier down with a 1d blitz! The ball went out of bounds and the elf-fans threw them deep in the half of Beitar, where Immobilitsch picked it up and ran almost to safety.
Just the Ghoul could reach him and so he did. One POW later the situation seemed settled, but with relative ease Immobillitsch dodged in a tacklezone twice, picked up the ball and scored.
Beitar now faces serious troubles and the AG 5 Blitzer scored almost at will. Everything happened fast now. Dortmund kicking deep in the half of the Necros. First Boris Klaimann caused a turnover with one of the several doubleskulls. This brought Beitar in so much trouble they had to pass... and fumbbled! Immobilitsch picked up the ball: 3:0. Beitar scored a quick TD for the 3:1. After a fumbbled pass by Nuri, they had the chance to make it a little less embarrasing, but Klaimann went once again in the KO-Box after tripping during a GFI.
The strange game ended with an interception of the Golem Christian Alvarez.
Dortmund came out of the bottom with this win, but Beitar will need lots of luck if it wants to compete for the title. |
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Eusebio
Joined: Sep 20, 2011
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Oct 04, 2015 - 21:25 |
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Round 3
League of the BESTEST aka Premiership
Scourgehampton : Ragenham 'N Dedbridge
Result 2:1 (4:2)
Attendance 29.000
Ok, lets talk about the elefant in the room: It is chaos, yeah they won, yeah they did a lot of casualties and yeah I know what you are thinking: Everybody can play with clawpombers. And you are partially right: Clawpombers do have tiny... thumbs! And they even say "yeah my thumbs are tiny, but no one ever complained" and that size doesnt matter. We have heared it all.
Only this frikkin Chaosteam just features on of this kind of compensation and judging from previous results Erickan indeed seems to have big thumbs. He is the top coach and his team is on the best way of winning it all.
Ragenham 'N Dedbridge is under pressure already. The game against Scourgehampton would give the general direction of their future in the premiership: competing for the title or relegation!
Scourgehampton received and both coaches received free bribes. Which were not even used when they stomped a poor Mummy to death: Ferguson was on the verge to achieving a new skill, when he was killed in cold blood. After he deceased everybody looked if he would come back from the dead again. He didn´t. Fashanu his brother had to set sails for the KO BOX also. Scourgehampton was 3 Players up, just 2 Turns in the game.
But it got worse: Starplayer Setekh was also killed. This time by Monster-Mino Dusan Tadic. No wizzo could help and Scourgehampton went for the 1:0.
Undead risked it all and could score the 1:1 before Halftime in just 2 turns. The game was on the edge!
Ragenham 'N Dedbridge received and could do the miracle Jonny Giles killed the only Clawpomber! May Nuffle give him everything he wishes! The world is a better place now!
The game went pretty straightforward: Chaos defending and Undead waiting for the right spot. It could be that m0gw41 is an elf-coach usually: Diego costa was far in the own half waiting for a breakaway. His risked it all then and failed a gfi, meaning that chaos, more in numbers, could retrieve the ball and play it home.
Scourgehampton hit hard, and Undead was lucky to be in a Situation where they could have won. Nevertheless, its hard to play with fewer players and every error will be punished! |
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Eusebio
Joined: Sep 20, 2011
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Oct 04, 2015 - 21:39 |
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Round 3
League of the BESTEST aka Premiership
Tranmare Rovers : --- Swampsea City ---
Result 1:0 (1:2)
Attendance 27.000
Kellerderby is what we say in Austria to this game. I wonder why so many fans came, I mean honestly, both one point. Also no TV-Station would have it shown due to the forseeable boredom coming up. Who wants to see frogs jumping around rotting corpses?
Actually it was so boring, that the replay said "no, not again!" Honestly go to the game, try to watch it
https://fumbbl.com/p/match?id=3722083.
So best thing is to call it a 1:0 and thats it! Undead dine in hell tonight... frog legs is on the menu! |
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Eusebio
Joined: Sep 20, 2011
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Oct 04, 2015 - 22:12 |
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Round 3
League of the BESTEST aka Premiership
Watford Hornhits : Accrington Stanley Originals
Result 0:0 (2:2)
Attendance 34.000
This game should have had a winner! The Originals needed one to stay in reach of the top. Watford just managed to be on 2nd spot. Its hard to imagine that The Hornhits will have a challengerfor the title. The team is insanely built, everything a CD Team needs and moa: Not one, but 2 freakishly evil Bull Centaurs!
But lets look at the game! The Originals receive choosing the good old "ALL MENZ LOS" tactics, which first emerged in southern Persia, in the City of "Al Fu´Gdab", where they initially did not play with the Kick-off Event Perfect Defense.
The ball was kicked deep in their half and surprisingly Khemri faced the troubles of not being able to cover the ball as they should, which lead into some bc marking. Eventually the team got back into position, but way back in their own half. Odds of running what must have felt like a mile to the endzone were diminishing every turn.
As expected the Bull Centraui Blisset & Jenkins did great work. At some Point the Rookie-Thrower Les Cocker had to expose himself. Blitz and down!
2nd Half saw a Kick of the Accrington Stanley Originals which landed next to the sideline. It was picked up and then Blissett decided to run for the score. Khemri were all packed up in the middle, so just a sole St4 skeleton named Doug Daniels hat the chance to 1d blitz him. A pow later the ball landed in the crowd and was thrown in the half of Watford. Jenkins was fast enough to get his hands on the ball again, but failed the last dodge into a TZ.
The draw is worth more for watford, than accrington, who will fight for survival in the premiership due to some cruel deaths of keyplayers! |
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Eusebio
Joined: Sep 20, 2011
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Oct 05, 2015 - 21:28 |
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Round 3
League of the BESTEST aka Premiership
Barmbek Bloodletic : CA Bloca Juniors
Result 1:1 (1:0)
Attendance 34.000
The champs, topnotches, gods... call them whatever you like! Bloca Juniors are in tha house, trying to defend their title! To achieve that they needed to win this game, but we were scared... The cupfinals showed us what meanandgl could do to us on a good day. Highest defeat in a long time, so it wasnt only a league match... it was brutal revenge!
We took the ball, cought it directly and started to group in the middle of the field. Clawkiller used his first chance to dive in the cage for the blitz, but could not perform the necessary GFI. Necros regrouped, got marked and regrouped again, and again. There was really not much going on. Except for the last 2 turns. a classic and well done change of sides, but those AG5 Blitzers are cruel. Soria got knocked down and we had almost no chance to score... almost! Wight Mendez picked up the ball and passed it to the fastest wolf this side of the chinese wall.
2nd half started wird a farmpass. Bloodletic lost their second turn to snakes on the first move. Not that agile I guess! Unfortunately not much happens except a Zombie sent off. Another snakes opened the way to the wrestlewitch Emerelle but Rivas could not GFI. That was too much offense, because now we gave up our good defensive position and the bloody elves could break away. and scored in turn 5. Chances for CABJ!
Caging up close to the LOS... who comes flyin´? Right Clawkiller, but his leap brings him right to the mud. small chances of breaking away here! But snakes make it impossible to score!
Nice game, which Bloca Juniors gave away the game by taking too much risk in offense. That were 2 points given away too easily! |
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Stimme
Joined: Jun 30, 2013
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Oct 06, 2015 - 01:25 |
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Here are the reports from the third round of the MLS games.
Seattle Pounders - Columbus Death Crew: 2-1
With two wins already under their belt, the West Coast Lizards were facing the Necromancers from Ohio. After the disastrous last season, Columbus head coach Mr. Bibi Ttethree had successfully rebuilt the team and nearly closed the TV gap to the Pounders. Still, available inducements were sufficient to hire Star Player Hack Enslash for the match.
The sun shone friendly over the CenturyLiz Field (formerly named Quetzal Field), as the fans were eagerly waiting for the kick-off. Seattle coach Stimme won the coin toss, and decided to kick to the Undead. A trick-play, as it turned out. While the Columbus captain was still busy adjusting his pink "Rigor Mortis Awareness" wrist band, the Lizards blitzed the opponent lines. Fortunately for Columbus, the kick was so deep that no skink bothered exposing himself and enter the other half of the pitch. A number of failed one-die blocks quickly stripped Columbus off their rerolls and triggered the fight-or-flight response in Ross Friedwight, the blodging Columbus ball carrier. He chose flight and stormed away, leaving his guards behind. When he was brought down by the Seattle defense shortly after, enough time was left for top scorer Stefanotl Rijitzla to scoop up the ball and run in the leading touchdown for the Pounders. With Columbus already outnumbering Seattle (Rookie saurus Jalil Anybaba was "persuaded" to change sides and had joined the Necromantic in turn 6), all eyes were on Hack Enslash. Who instantly failed his chainsaw foul attempt, the subsequent reroll and stunned himself in the process. Taking advantage of Hack's indisposition, the Pounders went for the fast touchdown, increasing their lead to two by turn 12. With three of their best players out, odds were difficult for Columbus to score quickly, but a quadruple skull block by Osvaldo Oyxlonso opened the Seattle backfield nicely. A last minute attempt to stop Chad Barkson from scoring, failed. Unleashed, the werewolf scored the final 2-1.
Milan Gladiators - Chimpanzee United: 1-4
Coming into the match undefeated, against a Simyin team with both matches this season lost, the Humans were the big favourites. Despite Chimpanzee coach happygrue being known to repeatedly rig games and deflate dice. In theme with this, the Simyin decided to hire a wizard and rely on a dirty trick for the match. Milan coach Mr. Nomad won the coin toss and chose to receive. Little surprisingly, his first blitz attempt ended in a quadruple skull. This did not disturb the balance too much. Unlike the subsequent lightning bolt that stroke Super Star thrower Oguchi Onyewu, who spent the first turns alone in his back field, showboating his strength- and agility-boosted blodging body. Dick Chimpy did not miss that chance to get his extra arms on the ball. Milan's last reroll went into the fruitless attempt to stop him from scoring the defensive tochdown in turn three. While discussing the strategy for the remaining turns, an ape in a monkey costume managed to slip a few pills into Oguchi's drink bottle, very much confusing him for the rest of the drive. The lack of rerolls for the Gladiators and the brute strength of the Cheatpanzees soon ended in a turnover that critically exposed Oguchy. A block, a KO, a bounce, and the ball was united with the Chimps who had no problems scoring in the last seconds of the half. Fortunate KO rolls and violent behaviour temporarily put the Gladiators back into numeric advantage at beginning of second half, but the apes remained unimpressed and even allowed Paul Gorillowitz his second career touchdown. Dominic Adiyiah, by many accused of using speed-enhancing drugs, immediately answered with a one-turn-touchdown for the 1-3. This allowed United to refield nearly all their knocked-out players and, after significantly reducing the number of Gladiators on the pitch, score the final touchdown, again by Gorillowitz. Traumatized, Milan decided to not push for another touchdown, and instead used the remaining time to improve their passing play, in safe distance from any wrath of the apes.
Vancouver WHITE Walkers - Real Salt Ape: 4-0
After two lost games in a row and constantly being outbashed, the Apes were looking forward to a chilled game against a squishy opponent. Unfortunately they ran into the Undead from the West Coast, who had just announced to start another recruitment series to replace the thinned rows of Zombies. Real Salt coach Village I.D. Iot chose to receive, after winning the coin toss - an event that spectators later remembered as the last positive experience of the match for the Simyin. Kick-off event was a Blitz, and mummy Andy O'Brian wasted no time in killing Silverback Lalo Apenandez. Remembering that the best offense is offense, Real Salt decided to push for a fast score and sent gorilla Carlos Apecedo on the way with the ball. Vancouver meanwhile continued dismantling their opponents and removed three more players, eventually also taking down Carlos. Little later, Ghoul Mane the Second scored the first. Out of rerolls and hope, the focus of the Apes changed to fouling Nigel Reo-Coker, top killer of the Walkers. In vain, as Nigel once again underscored his will to live forever and haunt the league until the end of time. Or the next match, whatever would happen first. Meanwhile the Walkers blocked themselves into such a frenzy, that they sheepishly failed to score before the end of the half. Turn 9 saw six remaining Ape members facing the full squad of 14 Undead. Three apes less, T.H.E Bug scored the 2-0, which was followed by two more touchdowns and the end of the Real Salt franchise.
St. Louis Steamrollers - Temper Bay Mutiny: 2-1
With the St. Louis Dwarves and the Temper Bay Pact, two of the league's youngest teams were facing each other. The Steamrollers brought significantly more Block to the match, and Temper Bay coach Spock decided to hire a second apothecary and a babe to counteract physical abuse. He also brought two bribes and star player Ugroth Bolgrot, though, to be able to physically abuse, too. Temper Bay won the coin toss and chose to receive. Star runner Tony Glavin, received, too: Three foot of rotating steel, sending him off the field badly hurt. Another Steamroller followed him quickly, knocking himself out in the failed attempt to seek vengeance from Ugroth. The dwarf defense was no match for the Mutineers, who established a nice little stall nest in front of the opponent's endzone and spent the rest of the half exchanging blows and fouls with the Steamrollers. When rookie Marauder Eric Dented scored in turn 8, two of the fastest and most valuable St. Louis players were injured and one more knocked out, and things looked rather dim for the Dwarves. To make things worse, remaining runner Don Ebert failed a GFI with reroll, dropping the ball and allowing the Mutineers to take control over the pigskin. At this point, Paul "Old Man" decided to make things a bit more exciting again, dodging out and away, running towards his own endzone and then tripping over his feet, leaving the ball ready for pickup. Don Ebert did not let that chance go by and scored the 1-1 in turn 12. The friendly invitation continued, as the Mutineers spread out nicely and decided against a successful pickup attempt, allowing Don Ebert the winning touchdown - despite a last minute sabotage effort by Blocker Denny Vanninger, who decided to knock himself out by choosing Skull over Pow/Push.
FC Edmonton - Timisoara Dragons: n/a
Rumours have it that an unexpected garlic allergy sent Edmonton head coach to hospital just before the game was supposed to kick off. |
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Royston
Joined: Dec 05, 2008
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| Posted:
Oct 07, 2015 - 11:11 |
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Throweck
Joined: Feb 23, 2013
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Oct 07, 2015 - 12:15 |
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Championship Round 3 Round Up!
Arsenal v Daggerinhand Redbeards
A high scoring, high injury splattfest of a game. Two Goals for Danny Welbeck and one for Jack Wiltshire seals a win for the woodies. It was a tough game for the dwarfs. Although they spread the casualty causing between themselves they lost their Runner of worth, Taktak Gonzolo. He will be missed. This match leaves Arsenal with a good shot at promotion if they can stave off further multiple injuries. The Redbeards continue to prop up the table but being dwarves they are not used to high positions anyway.
Peterboroug Un-United v Bristol Reavers
In a game that coach Throweck wishes to forget, the Dark Elves could not match the dominance of the Reavers. With Spog Magoo sealing a goal and AppleJack Sid adding to the tally, Peterboroug could only look on. Bristol Reavers look like favourites to win the championship this season but it will be interesting to see how the Reavers manage next game without AppleJack Sid.
Madchester City XI v Le Zebro Toro
Some dwarf on chaos dwarf action for our third game. With two key players taking serious injuries it was never going to be easy for city. At least they took a hobgoblin out to pasture as a condolence. Zebro Toro took it home with a goal from Isla to confirm the win. It will be interesting to see how these two teams develop in the later stages of the season and what upsets they can cause for other teams.
Bath City Bladuds v Fulham Fallen
Who doesn’t love a bit of Nurgle on Nurgle action? Two powerhouses of the game go at it with everything to play for. It didn’t disappoint! Three deaths and three goals. The Fallen lost their killer Pestigor. This could have an impact on the rest of the season. In addition to the loss of the game, it must have been a tough pill to swallow for Coach DukeTyrion. The Bladuds march forward with all three points in the third round and only losing two rotters. Bath City are in with a shot of the championship title at this stage.
Bury’d v Stanforc Brigade
A relatively quiet affair. With a serious injury to a key LOS player, Stanforc could struggle next game. Graham Barrow had a good game with a Goal and casualty. He wil be worth looking out for in future. Both teams have a shot at promotion.
It’s going to be a tight season! |
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Mav13shc
Joined: Jun 01, 2015
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Oct 08, 2015 - 20:39 |
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Round 4 - Conference South
Game 1 - Lizapool FC vs Wimbledon FC -- wait why do lizapool get the number 1 slot again its not like they're top of the league or anything....
Anyway moving swiftly on, with all neutral fans cheering for the Crazy gang, it was a surprise to see no advantage to either side in the stands, However we did see a Chef and a strange man with robe, beard and rather pointy hat joining the Halfling side. Not quite sure how good their football skills will turn out to be.
Ah it appears the chef is there to distract the opposition, hmm if I was him I wouldn't be doing frog's legs and eye of Newt then -- didn't seem to be appreciated by the lizapool side.
And apparently the fans didn't think much of it too.. one of the lizards obviously made a comment about the food to a Halfling because its all kicking off in the stands... and now its spilled onto the pitch - it'll take a while to clear this mess out......
Ok when the match finally gets under way, Lizapool take the lead with a well worked move up the right - a couple of K.Os helped however the ref will need to be watching Vinnie Jones a lot closer as he completely missed what appeared to be a horrendous late tackle on Lovren,
20 minutes in and plenty of time to equalise before the half ends however Wimbledons ball control lets them down and they fail to clear their own half until just before the final whistle.
Second half the chef's obviously been had words with as the foul smells appear much more to the liking of the lizards.
This time Wimbledon receive with the ball at fashanus feet. a careful movement up the field sees
Cunningham... wait he cant do that surely ref... ref... hmm appears the ref is enjoying the cooking as Cunningham drops the elbow on Enrique and that's the last we'll see of him for this game. then not two minutes later in what can only be described as more of a rugby tackle Cunningham takes Benteke down and he's hurt as well.. how Cunnigham is still on the field you'll have to ask the ref.
And as we approach the midway stage of the second half Wimbledon Equalise can they pinch the go ahead goal.
Sakho some how manages to end up with the ball on the right again and whats that movement on the Halfling bench I see that pointy hat moving whats he saying --- wow Sakho has just been struck by lightning but he shrugs it off with a laugh... you don't see that on the field every day.
Following his movement up field in the dieing seconds phelan makes a desperate tackle to stop a sure fire goal, but its in now does that go down as an own goal -- we'll let you decide.
Game 2
Now see here's the game of the day Ipswitch on the back of beating one skaven team come up against FC Ratzelona Looking for the win to keep them in touching distance of those damn cold blooded reds.
early possession for the Blues sees a sweet pass from cooper to Burley give secure possession in the centre of the park to Ipswitch.
but whats this a hard tackle comes in on Frans ... leaving him a little stunned and opening a hole in the defense... luckily the Rats cant take advantage.
However a few minutes later and Schtoikov has fashioned a chance to get the ball from Burley, the Tackle comes in and ouch I think he's out for the game... looked like he got his studs stuck in the turf and went down like someone shot him.
Ipswitch advance forward until cooper trips over something in the turf ... Ratzelona should really look after their pitch more and oh my he's knocked himself out.
The rats swarm around the ball carrier with little effect however Armor behind the ball goes in for a late challenge on Allan Hunter amd al;though he looks to have stunned himself that looks like a serious eye injury which will end Hunters game prematurely.
Burley makes a lovely cross field movement from right to Left but whats this I think hes strayed to close to the sidelines, and yes he's been "helped" over the advertising hoardings by Laudrup the fans helpfully throw the ball back and Mick mills picks up again for Ipswitch.
And with the loss of players starting to tell, Mick Mills scores the opening goal of the game.
As Ratzelona kick off Pep Guardiolas ball skills are lacking reducing the chance of them scoring before the break
a couple of crunching tackles from Ipswitch and all chance is snuffed out.
So we await the teams kicking off the second half and wow that's a quick equaliser from Ratzelona Pep guardiola making up for his mistake in the first half.
With the scores tied but players up Ipswitch look to slow the pace down and make those extra numbers count, Burley controls the ball nicely but whats this now they're just showing off as Burley and Baxter interchange passes but it could prove costly as Eusebio comes in and takes down Burley - the stretcher comes on and looks like he'll be ok to play in a few minutes.
however the ball is lose and the Rats are looking to capitalise. Arnold Muhren makes a fantastic play though and secures the ball, however not learning their lesson it looks like the Ipswitch team are determined to show boat before scoring, is it going to cost them.
Luckily some stout defense of the ball carrier and a miss placed tackle from that new guy stronglightning gives Ipswitch the last minute score. Final score 2 - 1 a win that moves them up to 2nd in the table.
Games 3 and 4 to come  |
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Medon
Joined: Jan 28, 2015
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Oct 09, 2015 - 09:02 |
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Recently contracted PSV catcher Mateja Kezman turned out to be a secret worshipper of Nurgle! Last match he already showed peculiar behavior for a catcher by killing a Norse berserker. This match against the Glassjaw Strangers his true calling showed. Already in the first half he tried to turn into a Nurgle's Rotter but our apo managed to excorsize the evil demons out of him and patch him up for the second half. But his calling was too strong. In the second half he turned again into a Rotter! His looks quickly started changing and his former team mates hardly recognize him anymore...
Before the match: https://fumbbl.com/i/464848
After the match: https://fumbbl.com/i/466144
Kezman, we will miss you but wish you all the best in your new profession! |
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