| Poll |
| Who is teh sexiest OBBA star? |
| The Duke |
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49% |
[ 26 ] |
| The Duke |
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50% |
[ 27 ] |
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| Total Votes : 53 |
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Roheline_Damlis
Joined: Sep 23, 2013
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 Posted:
Oct 09, 2015 - 17:01 |
 
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SPANISH VERSION
Roheline_Damlis informando sobre lo ocurrido en la jornada 4 de la League Two. Les dejo con los reportes de los apasionantes encuentros vividos en esta ronda:
AFC Hellmouth 0-2 Doncaster Belles
El duelo entre ambos arrancó bajo una copiosa lluvia que favorecía las esperanzas de los 24000 espectadores de ver mujeres hermosas cubiertas de barro. Al ver a Joshua King tan cerca de sus chicas con mirada lasciva, un aficionado le lanzó su mechero, mandándole al hospital para el resto del partido y el siguiente, de propina. El pelo de cabra mojado hacía inútil la armadura de los jugadores del caos, las amazonas pasaban a través de ella como si fuese mantequilla lo que propició un fácil TD para Hill en el turno 4. El resbaladizo balón fue de la grada al centro del campo y de ahí, tras varios rebotes, a las manos de Knight II. Ni un turno había transcurrido desde el touchdown y las Doncaster Belles ya tenían de nuevo el balón en su poder. Con un hábil placaje y robo, Simon Francis recuperó la posesión para los suyos. En el turno 7, Matt Ritchie, harto del marcaje de Knight II le propinó un codazo que la mandó a la enfermería. En el último turno de esta primera mitad, Roberts derribaba a Simon Francis y abortaba las opciones de empate de los AFC Hellmouth. Se llegó al descanso con 0-1. La segunda mitad comenzó con la lesión de Artur Boruc a manos de Hobbes. Las amazonas tenían puño de hierro y los caóticos armaduras de papel. Golpes y más golpes, con AFC tratando de mantener el balón en su poder, pero en el turno 5 una serie de placajes consiguieron que Hobbes robara la pelota. Las amazonas, en estado de gracia, conseguían todo lo que se proponían. Consiguieron controlar bien a los rivales, que no tenían nada de suerte, hasta que la propia Hobbes anotaba en el turno 7. Andrew Surman desafío al destino y logró completar un pase en el último instante del partido. No hubo tiempo para más, 0-2 y Nuffle dejando claro que prefiere chicas medio desnudas a peludos hombres bestia.
Silver Wardens FC 2-2 Hajduk Blitz
Los Silver Wardens recibían la primera patada del partido y consiguieron aprovecharla rápidamente. Nada más empezar, Tom Lees daba un pase atrás a Royston Drenthe II para asegurarse una mejoría de cara al siguiente encuentro. En el turno siguiente, los Wardens abrieron brecha por la banda derecha y tras una entrega a las manos y un regate con suspense, José Semedo II abría el marcador. Hajduk Blitz recibía el balón y tras unos turnos en los que parecían bien cubiertos junto a la banda izquierda de su ataque, el lanzador Aljosa Asanovic se inventó un pase magistral para Tomislav Ivic, que le permitió anotar a placer en el turno 4. Royston Drenthe II daba otro buen pase a Lewis Buxton, que intentaba avanzar por un amplio espacio por la derecha, pero Alen Boksic conseguía en el turno 6 que el balón se le cayera de las manos. En el siguiente turno, Buxton tuvo la ocasión de anotar tras recoger el balón frente a Ivic, pero un resbalón inoportuno le privó de la gloria. Justo después Ivic lesionaba a Glen Loovens, aunque no de gravedad. En este mismo turno, el LONER Fredrich Goldfire hería a Joe Mattock. Las cosas no pintaban bien para los los Silver Wardens. Se llegó al descanso con 1-1 en el marcador y 9vs9 sobre el campo para iniciar la segunda mitad. Nada más empezar, de nuevo Ivic, en estado de gracia todo el encuentro, hería a Sam Hutchinson II. Durante unos momentos no tenía pulso, pero el médico del equipo cortó la hemorragia y dejó el susto en una niggling injury. De nuevo el partido se ponía de cara para los croatas. Éstos centraron su ataque en su banda derecha, con la bola en manos de su lanzador, pero una buena defensa les obligó a retroceder. En el turno 12 consiguió pasársela al omnipresente Ivic, pero éste acabó por perderla. Los Wardens tenían el balón y Lewis Buxton con un gran pase se la cedió a Tom Lees. Éste intentó zafarse de su marca pero... skull. Con los Wardens volcados a la izquierda, Hajduk Blitz tenía una autopista por la otra banda. Un turno más tarde, un mal choque entre José Semedo II y Vladimir Beara acabó con ambos en el suelo y el croata desangrado. Un triste final a una larga carrera. En el turno posterior Josep Skoko adelantaba a los suyos a sólo 3 turnos del final. Quedaba poco tiempo, asi que los Wardens abrieron el campo y colocaron cuatro jugadores muy dentro del campo rival, para aumentar sus opciones de anotar. Hajduk Blitz fue ambicioso y trató de robar el balón... pero un resbalón dejó sólo a Drenthe, que cruzó el campo en diagonal y lanzó un precioso pase largo directo a las manos de Lwis Buxton. Libre de marca, Lewis se resarció del error en la primera mitad y anotó a falta de un turno el 2-2. El último turno sólo sirvió para que Keyren Westwood lesionara gravemente a Fredrik Goldfire, vengando a su compañero Joe Mattock. Finalmente, tras el pitido final, reparto de puntos en el duelo entre altos elfos.
[OBBA] Monstar Zrinjski 0-2 Real Club Celta de Vigo
Ya en el segundo placaje, Real Club Celta de Vigo demostró que no sería fácil para Monstar Zrinjski sacar puntos del partido con la lesión de Wass a Paul Trueshield. Como respuesta, Ugroth Bolgrott sacó a pasear su motosierra y sólo el médico pudo evitar la muerte de Hugo Mallo, que aún así se rompió el cuello. En el turno 3 Bolgroth decidió rematar a Fontás, que estaba en el suelo, y consiguió infringirle una niggling injury, pero el árbitro le vio y le expulsó. Hasta entonces su equipo había defendido bien y tenía al portador del balón encerrado en la banda izquierda. el público lesión a Elena Ekodas instantes después. Un placaje suicida de Orellana le hizo perder la pelota en el turno siguiente. La recogió el elfo Othran Toramino, que un turno más tarde conseguía un gran pase para Arimaspia Rynax que le dejaba en una magnífica situación. Una buena defensa del Celta de Vigo le permitió a Madinda recuperar el balón en el turno 7. Aprovechando un resbalón del ogro enemigo, Madinda asistió a Orellana y éste puso el 1-0 a segundos del final del primer tiempo, que acabó con la lesión de Planas a manos de Dirtbutt, sin duda cabreado por su resbalón en el turno anterior. En la segunda mitad, Real Club Celta fue ampliando su ventaja numérica a base de dejar KO a sus rivales. Mientras el goblin Muddhermorn trataba de avanzar. Cuando su equipo necesitaba que se la entregase a Othran para culminar un buen desmarque de Eashaft Lenorat pensó: "Que le den al elfo y a su mierda de agilidad". Un turno después estaba en la enfermería sangrando por cortesía de David Costas y su equipo estaba en problemas serios. Mediada la segunda parte sólo quedaban 4 jugadores de Monstar Zrinjski en el campo. La suerte no estaba de su lado y Celta de Vigo dejó correr el reloj para finalmente lograr el 0-2 definitivo.
GOOGLE TRANSLATE VERSION:
Roheline Damlis reporting on what happened in Week 4 of the League Two. I leave you with reports of exciting encounters lived in this round:
Doncaster Belles 0-2 AFC Hellmouth
The duel between the two under a heavy rain started favoring the hopes of the 24,000 spectators to see beautiful women covered in mud. Seeing Joshua King so close to their girls leer, a fan threw his lighter, sending him to the hospital for the rest of the game and the next tip. Goat hair wet armor was useless players chaos, the Amazons passed through it as if it were butter which led TD easy to Hill on turn 4. The slippery ball was in the stands at midfield and then, after several rebounds to Hands Knight II. Or a turn had passed since the touchdown and Doncaster Belles already had the ball again in his possession. With a deft tackle and theft, Simon Francis regained possession for theirs. In turn 7, Matt Ritchie, tired of marking Knight II elbowed him that he sent to the infirmary. In the last turn of the first half, he is knocking back Simon Francis Roberts and abort options AFC draw the Hellmouth. It came to rest with 0-1. The second half began with Artur Boruc injury at the hands of Hobbes. The Amazons had iron fist and chaotic armor role. Punches and blows with AFC trying to keep the ball in his possession, but turn 5 placajes got a series of Hobbes steal the ball. The Amazons, in grace, getting everything proposed. They got good control of the team, who had no luck, until Hobbes own scoring on turn 7. Andrew Surman challenge fate and managed to complete a pass in the last minute of the game. There was no time for more, and 0-2 Nuffle making it clear that half-naked girls prefer hairy beast men.
Silver Wardens FC 2-2 Hajduk Blitz
The Silver Wardens received the first kick of the match and managed to seize quickly. At the start, Tom Lees gave the ball back to Royston Drenthe II to ensure an improvement towards the next meeting. In the next turn, the Wardens breached by the right side and after delivery to the hands and dribble with suspense, Jose Semedo II opened the scoring. Blitz Hajduk received the ball after a shift in what appeared well covered by the left wing of the attack, Aljosa Asanovic pitcher chasing a through ball to Tomislav Ivic, which allowed him to score at will in turn invented 4. Royston Drenthe II was another good pass to Lewis Buxton, trying to advance on a broad space down the right, but Alen Boksic getting into Turn 6 that the ball will fall from their hands. In the next turn, Buxton had the chance to score after picking up the ball in front of Ivic, but an untimely slip deprived of glory. Just after Ivic was damaging to Glen Loovens, though not seriously. In this same turn, Goldfire Fredrich loner hurt Joe Mattock. Things did not look good for the Silver Wardens. It came to rest with the score at 1-1 and 9vs9 on the field to start the second half. Just start again Ivic, in grace throughout the match, struck Sam Hutchinson II. For a moment he had no pulse, but team doctor cut the bleeding and put the scare in a niggling injury. Again the match was ahead for the Croats. They focused their attack on your right side, with the ball in the hands of his pitcher, but a good defense forced them to retreat. In turn pass it 12 got the ubiquitous Ivic, but he ended up losing. The Wardens had the ball Lewis Buxton with a cross, he gave it to Tom Lees. He tried to escape your brand but ... skull. Wardens dumps the left, Hajduk Blitz was a highway on the other side. A turn later, a bad clash between Jose Semedo II and Vladimir Beara ended both on the ground and Croatian bled. A sad end to a long career. In the subsequent turn Josep Skoko ahead theirs only 3 innings remaining. Time was short, so the Wardens opened the field and placed four players deep in the opponent's field, to increase his chances of scoring. Hajduk Blitz was ambitious and tried to steal the ball ... but a slip allowed only to Drenthe, who crossed the field diagonally and launched a beautiful long pass directly into the hands of Lwis Buxton. Unmarked, Lewis indemnified the error in the first half and scored in the absence of the 2-2 shift. The last turn only made Keyren Westwood seriously injured Fredrik Goldfire, avenging his partner Joe Mattock. Finally, after the final whistle, distribution of points in the duel between high elves.
[OBBA] Monstar Zrinjski 0-2 Celta de Vigo
In the second tackle, Celta de Vigo showed that would not be easy to get points Monstar Zrinjski's match Wass injury to Paul Trueshield. In response, he took a walk Ugroth Bolgrott his chainsaw and only the doctor could prevent the death of Hugo Mallo, who still broke his neck. In turn 3 Bolgroth Fontás decided on goal, which was on the floor, and got inflicting a niggling injury, but the ref saw him and expelled him. Until then his team had defended well and had the ball carrier locked in the left wing. Elena public Ekodas injury moments later. A suicide tackle Orellana made him lose the ball in the next round. He picked the elf Othran Toramino, a shift later getting a great pass Arimaspia Rynax that left him in a great location. A good defense of Celta de Vigo Madinda allowed to retrieve the ball on turn 7. Taking advantage of a slip of the enemy Ogre, Madinda attended Orellana and this made the 1-0 seconds from the end of the first half, which ended with the injury Planas at the hands of Dirtbutt certainly pissed by his slip on the previous shift. In the second half, Real Club Celta expanded its numerical advantage based KO his opponents. While the move was Muddhermorn goblin. When his team needed to deliver it to Othran to complete a good uncheck Eashaft Lenorat thought: "Fuck the elf and his agility shit". A shift was in the hospital after bleeding courtesy of David Costas and his team was in serious trouble. Midway through the second part there were only 4 players Monstar Zrinjski in the field. Luck was not on their side and Celta de Vigo let the clock run to finally achieve the final 0-2. |
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Wotfudboy
Joined: Feb 17, 2004
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Oct 09, 2015 - 23:24 |
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pythrr
Joined: Mar 07, 2006
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Oct 09, 2015 - 23:34 |
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i love google translate. i will now read all books via this. |
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Village_Idiot
Joined: Mar 09, 2009
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Oct 10, 2015 - 02:35 |
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bwahaha cant believe how well that worked out!
Meanwhile...
MAJOR UPSET IN THE MLS!
YES ANOTHER ONE.
In today's regulation match between the WAAAGH and the Timisorian team, the vampire underdogs WON.
Yes, it's been since OBBA season 3 that this happened, but it's fact all the same. The WAAAGH has been accused of accepting vampire bribes (and several substantially unkinder appendages) to make this momentous occasion, err, occur.
This has propelled the Dragons up to third position within the MLS!*
This amazing turn of events is simply... Amazing.
[EDITORS NOTE: OK, that's it, you're fired. Go buy a thesaurus and take a long walk in a skaven sewer.]
* Well, at least until more MLS matches are completed this round. But it's still pretty amazing...
Congrats to Canvasblack! Sure, the dice were merciful, but he's been pretty stalwart the last 2 seasons despite dismal results. I think this first win will be the beginning of more! That vamp team is starting to look real dangerous! |
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pythrr
Joined: Mar 07, 2006
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Oct 10, 2015 - 02:44 |
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^^ god yr orcs suck balls
YAY VAMPS |
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Village_Idiot
Joined: Mar 09, 2009
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Oct 10, 2015 - 03:36 |
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Medon
Joined: Jan 28, 2015
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Oct 10, 2015 - 07:52 |
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Better change back to Simyin |
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CanvasBack
Joined: Jan 15, 2007
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Oct 10, 2015 - 09:54 |
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Ok so my next question is, WTF is an OBBA Null Team? |
_________________
"When you have shot and killed a man you have in some measure clarified your attitude toward him. You have given a definite answer to a definite problem. For better or worse you have acted decisively. In a way, the next move is up to him." R.A. Lafferty |
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Throweck
Joined: Feb 23, 2013
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Oct 10, 2015 - 10:21 |
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Medon
Joined: Jan 28, 2015
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Oct 10, 2015 - 10:44 |
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To replace mid season drop-outs whilst not messing up the schedule |
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Roheline_Damlis
Joined: Sep 23, 2013
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Oct 10, 2015 - 19:55 |
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Google Translator is Sauron's new soul |
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pythrr
Joined: Mar 07, 2006
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Oct 10, 2015 - 20:17 |
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| Medon wrote: | | To replace mid season drop-outs whilst not messing up the schedule |
yes, that. |
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Candlejack
Joined: Aug 02, 2003
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Oct 14, 2015 - 00:23 |
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Match reports League One - Round 4
Royal Valhalladolik 1 vs 2 Emirate Stadium Swingers
Norse vs Apes, Barbarians vs Savages, Royals vs Emirates. Seriously, how epic can it get?? This matchup promises it all, speed, power and action.
The Apes rush through the somewhat confused norsemen and after an impressive change to the opposite sideline score quickly.
Grim and determined the Royals advance their offence and push hard to get in scoring position. After a hero "1 against 2"-blitz by Lucas Podolski the ball bounces lose but is caught by Nano to score in T8.
In the second half, the Apes catch the Norse men flat footed and swarm the opposing half while the ball is still in the air. But the Norse keep their cool and recover the ball to advance to the LoS on the left sideline. There the ball carrier goes down after a blitz and the ball gets thrown in straight almost all over the field, where the Norse again recover and try for a safety.
In the meanwhile the third gorilla went out with a perm but the Apes keep going. The ball is knocked lose and recovered by both teams several times, the crowd holds it's breath again and again as both teams get players carried out!!
Finally another throw in, the last gorilla, Per Mertesacker, manages to pick up the ball and runs for the td line while being screened by the remnants of his team and in the end scores the winning td.
SpVgg Underhacking 0 vs 2 Torpedo Wigan
Underworld playing up against CD is never pretty, but those CD have a crappy season recoard and also a crappy overall one against Underworld. So there was hope! But not for long...
The Underworld offence was pretty uninspired and the CD managed to remove at least a player every turn. Soon the rats got desperate and tried to break through but got caught by a bull centaur. A final attempt to change sides got stopped early by snaked and so the CD scored easily.
The second half was more or less a walk over for the CDs, the Underworld coach got frustrated and soon ran out of ideas. Thus a rather boring game for the fans but a deserved and easy win for the CD.
PSV Enthoven 1 vs 2 Glassjaw Strangers
A classic, pesky Elves vs stinky slimers. Who will win? Grace or Pestilence? As suspicious as it seems, there are only rumours about this game and no witnesses to be found. George has to investigate on that, though we, the editors, are sure that Nurgle himself intervined and blanked the minds of all visitors to make sure no one can tell future opponents about the Glasjaw's tactics.
Though from our forensics department we got reports that it is safe to assume the game was decided by Enthoven's lack in ball handling. Rumors say that people outside the stadium, those who could not afford a ticket, heard "OOHHHH!!!"s and a "Darn fumble!" close to the end of the first half, as well as breathless silence followed by a huge wave of sighs at the very end of the game. This seems to support the forensic reports.
We have to stress the point that the public has a right to see recordings of important matches like this and the league comissioners have to look into why those are not available in this case. Should nothing happen we might have to start an undercover investigation about this attempt of cover-up...
[OBBA] FFC Tyrol Nainsbrück 1 vs 1 Naoned Olympic Spiked Shoe
This one looked like a slaughter fest on paper and yes, the fans were not to be disappointed.
The Dwarves did what they do best, cage forward and bash through the opposition, removing a fair number of players. Still the Humans managed to get into position again and again so that in the end the Dwarves lost the ball and so the half ends 0:0.
Now the Humans went all in, putting everything into an offence over the sideline. It took the Dwarves some effort but the managed to double screen the way to the endzone. But Naoned is no bunch of sissies, no the just pushed the first line of defence out of the way.
Then the crowd went wild as Serge GAKPÉ threw down his helmet for better sight and charged forward, dodging between the a surprised Dwarf and the sideline, on and on until he left the confused beardy behind him and ran BACKWARDS into the endzone taunting his opponents!
As a response Nainsbrück hammered on Naoned to score in three turns while injuring even more players. This left the Humans with four players for the last three turns, they tried to break through the sideline but this time Serge GAKPÉ was a bit too eager and could not be screened properly by his team mates. One pow later the hope of victory was destroyed even though there was a last vain attempt by Naoned to score, leaving it at a very bloody draw.
Red Zharr-Hellgrade 1 vs 2 Elverton BBC
Another classic matchup, bash power vs agility galore. Who will prevail? Who will be left behind with shame and shattered dreams?
The Elves took the standard approach and broke through for a quick score. A lone hobbo managed to get to the ball carrier and knock him down, but there were just to many pointy ears so the ball was recovered quickly and the touchdown inevitable.
Now the CD formed up to bash their victory home, but the pick up fails and the Elves press hard, even telling their hired wizard to roast the lone hobbo. But that guy was obviously a fake, just a fizzle and some smoke on the pitch but nothing else.
A tense melee emerged where CDs and Elves alternated getting and losing the ball, the Elves get close to the end zone but it seems the pressure was too much and so the half ends 0:1.
In the second offence the CD grind forward but missed that one elf feigned being injured while the cage moved over him and sneakily knocked the ball carreir down. The CD recover the ball but are only able to form a half open cage. Again the Elves try to seize the day but fail miserably and so it is 1:1.
With a lot of players out it seemed grim for the Elves and a tactical twist of the CDs allowed them to reposition before the ball came down. So Elverton went balls out and simply dodged through the opposition and got into another melee, this time close to the end zone.
The CD managed to get the ball back and in T16 the coach shouted "ALL OR NOTHING!!", so the ball went to a hobbo in a tackle zone that tried to dodge for a pass but failed. So the last standing Elf, Phil Jagielka, danced easily around the bulls, picked up the ball and scored the humiliating winning td. |
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The Sanity Resort |
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Mav13shc
Joined: Jun 01, 2015
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Oct 14, 2015 - 02:08 |
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Ok Games 3 and 4 from Conference south -- I know you all have been waiting with baited breath --
Game 3
The goblins of Goblin Vallecano took on the elves of FC middenheim, now the bookies had the good money on the goblins, mainly because everyone knows the cheating little buggers are bribing every ref going.
And looks like its working, how they came away with all 3 points no one is entirely sure, 1st 5 minutes were tame enough with only one stunned elf, even the chainsaw failed to do any damage, however it all kicked off when what looked like metal knuckle dusters were quickly passed from the bench of course this would be absolutely illegal and wouldn't even be considered - however it might explain the 3
KO's and 1 BH elf in the following five minutes.
this left vallecano goblins up and they know just how to make that work for their favour.. For those Orc and Dwarf teams out there -- by getting the ball across the goal line.
Lining up again and only one of the elves had gained enough of his senses to return,
However the new guy brian quicklock really needs to get on the training pitch -- being taken down and stunned by a goblin is a rookie mistake and wont be looked on favourably by his new team mates.
Midway throught he first half now and that guy with the chainsaw still hasn't been ejected, although it looks like he's ejected himself that's a nasty gash.
The elves make a break down the left only to be cut off by the goblins a few more Ko's and the elves are really out numbered now, and a misplaced trap of the ball by Romimi gifts possession to Sanchez, who quickly makes his way down field before passing to rawl bravo who makes a complete hash of the pass but the goblins retain possession and have an open goal waiting to be scored.
Lining up again and 5 elves hiding in the dugout, the goblins sense blood although the chainsaw guy is taking a rest maybe that gash needed a few stitches, however his team mates soon add to the elves on the benches, and even the ejection for a blatant foul just on the half time whistle isn't going to help these elves.
2 - 0 at half time and the goblins still have reserves... what is going on here.
Second half kicks off... but whats this looks like the goblin fans are on the pitch trying to get in on the action -- the elf fans are hiding in the stands ... think some of their players wish they were there too.
We finally kick off and looks like the elves have had enough of that chainsaw player and take matters into their own hands.... ouch that collarbone really doesn't look right and I doubt he's coming back.
However the elves usual silky ball control is letting them down considerably today and the goblins regain possession far too easily and make a quick break down their right, for an easy 3rd... to be fair it looks like the elves are now marking players for a little retaliation rather than worrying about the score...
However with one of the worst fouls I've seen in many years commentating, its the goblins who leave the biggest stain on the field of play with the death of Vinena.
Game 4
What do you mean OBBa Null team isn't actually a team..... and theres not a match to analyse so what am I supposed to do now... oh so I claim my free point now.... ok I can do that  |
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pythrr
Joined: Mar 07, 2006
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| Posted:
Oct 14, 2015 - 22:40 |
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Cindy is back?
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