Karnov
Joined: Jul 14, 2012
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 Posted:
Dec 17, 2014 - 23:54 |
 
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Excellent work, once again Redgum :thumbs-up: |
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Semitence
Joined: May 18, 2013
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| Posted:
Dec 18, 2014 - 01:34 |
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Foul Frank and Powie Strong on the same team... It just can't be. |
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Karnov
Joined: Jul 14, 2012
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Dec 18, 2014 - 02:43 |
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| Semitence wrote: | | Foul Frank and Powie Strong on the same team... It just can't be. |
Lol – The Graders really do hate every blighted inch of Frank, but we can’t help but begrudgingly respect his performance in the league thus far… \o/
Looking a little deeper - Frank and Powie’s respective career trajectories are remarkably similar:
Foul Frank:
Games: 19
Cas: 17
TD’s: 3
MVP’s: 1
Blocks 163 (8.58 per game)
Powie Strong:
Games: 17
Cas: 16
TD’s: 0
MVP’s: 2
Blocks 158 (9.29 per game)
Frank scores more; Nuffle favours Powie more  |
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DrDiscoStu
Joined: Feb 20, 2006
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Feb 26, 2015 - 04:16 |
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COACH ADMITS DEFEAT OF GAME PLAN
The Southern Waste Gazette
DrDiscoStu took the helm of his orc side The Wana Warriors boldly declaring he would revolutionise SWL and Blood Bowl. He promised to claim the title by building a guard/standfirm side that would refrain from any sort of mighty blow or piling on. Block, Guard and Standfirm would be the first three skills taken, except for +ST, regardless of dice rolls.
Furthermore, he claimed that all throwers were useless, that would make a competitive side without them.
In a recent interview, he blamed "mission creep", "statistical surprises", and "beefygoodness and the rest of swl cheese" for what has occurred. After seasons of languishing in conference, mighty blow got taken. Only after guard and stand firm, so he claimed his plan had not deviated. This paper believed him at the time.
The the black orcs started popping up with mighty blow before stand firm, he again claimed the theory was not changing, simply the order in which it would work.
After an embarrassing defeat to the Sphinxes, it should be noted he is now sporting two +ag blitzers without guard, AND a thrower. One can only assume his entire mission statement has been thrown out the window faster faster than you can say "karnov clawpomb".
His only statement being "Well I am still not taking piling on, that skill is stupid" is a clear attempt to salvage what is left of his pride, in this paper's opinion it has not worked and he should just give it up and embrace the semitance of the swl.
edit: sorry this paper meant to write "... embrace the cheese of the swl". Honest mistake. |
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GUARD CONQUERS ALL! |
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DrPoods
Joined: Nov 14, 2013
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| Posted:
Feb 26, 2015 - 05:44 |
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Magic... |
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"Gallifrey falls no more"
Do your part! Join the Adoption Agency NOW! |
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DrPoods
Joined: Nov 14, 2013
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| Posted:
Mar 12, 2015 - 05:48 |
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@SinnersFC Twitter: "RAAAAAATS!!!" |
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"Gallifrey falls no more"
Do your part! Join the Adoption Agency NOW! |
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Toonie
Joined: Jun 03, 2004
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Mar 17, 2015 - 11:43 |
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Rudi awoke with a shudder, his dreams had troubled him for the last week now. But this time he knew what it was, he had been unsure before but now he knew, it was a dark elf from Svartalfheim. Also know as mares, they were what parents used to scare their children with to get them to behave. But Rudi was no child, a retired veteran from the Asgardians, there was little that should scare him. He raced off to tell the others of what had happened. Patrician and Dan both laughed at Rudi when he told them abought the mare visiting during his sleep. Irgy claimed maybe Rudi had taken too many blows to the noggin during his career resulting in Rudi being totally bonkers. The rest of the Asgardians burst into laughter and Rudi stormed off. He headed out of the compound at the Asgardome for a walk to calm down and clear his thoughts.While walking towards the small grove outside the stadium, he noticed someone or something lurking in the shadows on the edge of the grove. He moved caustiously towards the figure and nearly couldn't believe his eyes. It was Benny one, of the halflings that would always be running errands for the coach. Rudi thought of the coach, and how he left all those years ago on a soul searching journey. Benny beckoned Rudi to follow him and Rudi could barely keep up with the nimble little fellow. Benny led him to the road that made it's way down the great mountain and revealed to him several caravans. Benny motioned him towards the lead caravan, where he promptly knocked on the door and said "sir, he is here". The door of the caravan opened and to Rudi's surprise, out stepped the coach. Coach Toonie spoke to him and said "Rudi old friend, I have a plan", suddenly a dark elf appeared from the van, unlike any of the drow he had seen before. Toonie said "today is the start of a new era, today the Shades of Svartalfheim enter the SWL!" |
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Purplegoo
Joined: Mar 23, 2006
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Mar 25, 2015 - 19:33 |
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Hi guys.
I hope that this is an appropriate SWL thread to dip my toe into, apologies if not.
Can I direct you to the front page news if you so happen to have not caught it yet? The next online NAF event is to feature Australasian groups as we attempt to cater for the worldwide membership. As one of FUMBBL's most successful groups, it would be fab to see the SWL support the Aussie timezone feature and make it really worthwhile.
Thanks, and sorry again for poking my nose in. Cheers! |
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DrPoods
Joined: Nov 14, 2013
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| Posted:
Mar 25, 2015 - 20:22 |
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This is probably the best place for it PG. |
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"Gallifrey falls no more"
Do your part! Join the Adoption Agency NOW! |
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Balle2000
Joined: Sep 25, 2008
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| Posted:
Mar 26, 2015 - 06:33 |
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... |
Last edited by Balle2000 on %b %20, %2015 - %18:%Jun; edited 1 time in total |
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Redgum
Joined: May 19, 2009
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| Posted:
Mar 27, 2015 - 09:58 |
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SWL Awards LVIII
Welcome to the SWL awards for Season 58.
First the Bronze Awards, for outstanding performances in the regional league:
Bronze Ball: Viola (Wings of the Condor) and Edward Scissortongue (Brooklyn High Focus)
Bronze Knuckledusters: Big Owl (Brooklyn High Focus)
Bronze Slipper: Ghoulhardy (Error 404 afterlife not found)
Bronze Arrow: Who Me (Ka Os)
Bronze Boot: Cabbapult and Hugh Thompson (Error 404 afterlife not found)
Bronze Shield: Big Owl (Brooklyn High Focus)
Bronze Boomerang: Who Me (Ka Os)
And the Bronze Twahnlow goes to Viola, the Catcher from Wings of the Condor!
The Silver Awards are hard fought, with three Conference leagues meaning tough competition for spots:
Silver Ball: Iolas (Griffon Gate Sentinels)
Silver Knuckledusters: Jubba Grindhauler (Crookwell Green Devils)
Silver Slipper: François Englert (Large Head-on Colliders)
Silver Arrow: Kantil (Griffon Gate Sentinels)
Silver Boot: Hanna Nano (Edamame Diet)
Silver Shield: Shugra the Iron Fist (Sharp Force Trauma)
Silver Boomerang: Kantil (Griffon Gate Sentinels)
And the winner of the Silver Twahnlow is Iolas, High Elf Catcher from the Griffon Gate Sentinels
And now to the cream-of-the-cream. The SWL award winners, the best of the best from Premier League Season Fifty-Eight are:
*drumroll*
The Disco Dan Ball: The Abdominal Snowman (Malapropism Mania) with 10 TDs
The Replacements Knuckledusters: Foul Frank (SWL Fun Police) with 13 CAS
The Xies-ler-aym Slipper: The Abdominal Snowman (Malapropism Mania) with 235 Rushing
The Manfred von Richthofen Arrow: Terence the Tosser (Redgum’s Rodents) with 23 Passing
The John Stone Boot: Talus Ho (Crypt-O-Night) and Osmond Silentshield (SWL Fun Police) with 20 Fouls each
The Eth’el Shield: Foul Frank (SWL Fun Police) with 76 Blocks
The Emilio Luthien Boomerang: Assemblé Stu Jnr (Woodistan Dance Squad) with 8 completions
...And so, to the moment we've all been waiting for. The Duke Snakefield Medal is awarded each year to the SWL Premier League's best all-round performer. It was a strong field in LVII, as it always is, but without further ado we proudly announce...
The Season 58 Duke Snakefield winner is... The Abdominal Snowman, Bull Centaur of Malapropism Mania.
Thank you all, see you again for the All-Star team announcement soon to come. |
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| Tomay wrote: | | Thanks Redgum, you are a legend... |
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DrPoods
Joined: Nov 14, 2013
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| Posted:
Mar 29, 2015 - 00:28 |
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Deep in the dark lands around "The Junction"...
"HOOOOOOOOWWWWWWWLLLLLLLLLLLL".
"Patience, Robbie... Patience". |
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"Gallifrey falls no more"
Do your part! Join the Adoption Agency NOW! |
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Redgum
Joined: May 19, 2009
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| Posted:
Mar 29, 2015 - 13:45 |
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Welcome all to the Season LVIII awards presentation. Congratulations go to Grod’s Technically Minded for securing the Premier title. Tonight we’re pleased to announce The SWL 'All-Stars' Team. All SWL players are eligible for consideration in this team, from the Regionals up to the Premier League.
It gives us great pleasure to announce those honoured for their efforts and performances during SWL LVIII:
Off (C) Wight Crypt-O-Night
GLaDOS Dwarf Runner Technically Minded
The Abdominal Snowman Bull Centaur Malapropism Mania
Kantil High Elf Thrower Griffon Gate Sentinels
Iolas High Elf Catcher Griffon Gate Sentinels
Foul Frank Nurgle Warrior SWL Fun Police
Edward Scissortongue Human Catcher Brooklyn High Focus
Viola Elf Catcher Wings of the Condor
Uzthug Chivas Regal Black Orc Blocker Intoxicated Mayhem
LLstrr Saurus Slumbering Skink
Optimus Prime Dwarf Blocker Technically Minded
Off is honoured this season as the Captain of the All Stars team. In a Premier season that was one of the tightest in recent memory Off was a stand-out performer for Crypt-O-Night. His 5 CAS against the hapless Rodents was a personal best, but he was also brutally efficient against tougher teams such as the Crocs and the Fun police. It was his TD in the final game of the season that kept Malapropism to the draw and saw his team finish equal on points with second place. He is a relatively young player, given his fame and his standing in the game, but the physical nature of his playing style is taking its toll. An old injury has stayed with him and he’s more prone to injury than he once was. Of course he’s more likely to be hitting than he is to be hit, and it’s this aspect of his play that drags the crowds through the gate. This is Off’s second appearance as an All-Star, after he made the LVII team last season.
GLaDOS was the undoubted star of the Premiership winning team in LVII. In many ways this accolade has been coming for some time, but this really was a breakthrough season for him. It opened with his first career hat-trick in the first game of the season, run in mostly against an empty field as the Rodents were cleared more than once in the second half. He continued this form throughout the season, scoring in five more games. His eighth of the season came in the final game, a 1-1 draw with the Skinks, which secured Technically Minded the Premier title. He is well respected amongst his team-mates both for his on-field prowess, and for his leadership. This is his first selection to the All Stars.
The Abdominal Snowman is once again selected into the All-Star team. This is his fourth consecutive selection and sees him join Lus-ler-cith as only the second player to have achieved the feat so many times. So much has been said already about his athleticism, his clean ball-handling, his ability to keep ball safe from his opponents. He has been deservedly recognised with the Duke Snakefield Medal. His hat-trick against the Fun Police was a career first on his way to 9 TDs for the season. He was undeniably an integral part of Malapropism’s push for the Premiership Title, and will be again next year as the Chaos Dwarfs seem well settled in Premier Division and ready to challenge their less-chaotic cousins.
Kantil has continued the good form of last season and surpassed it in LVIII. He threw 13 completions in only 6 games, including an equal personal best 4 completions against Psych Lab. He has over 300 passing yards, averaging more than 12 a game. His is a familiar style of play for an elf thrower, but he has the skills to make it fearsomely effective. His strong arm allows him to set up deep in his own backfield and then fire an accurate pass to any of his waiting catchers. He’s also an incredibly reliable passer, able to select the best option to keep the ball in his team’s possession. In 45 completed passes, he has never been intercepted. This is his first time selected to the All Stars.
Iolas is the other element to the Sentinels’ powerful attacking moves. He scored one TD in Season LVII, in an understated debut that did little to prepare spectators for what he would show this season. Twice scoring a brace, against the Vamps, and against no less an opponent than the champion Whalekillers, he also showed that he could bring the pain, using his impressive strength to inflict a casualty. An obvious threat when in attack (he finished the season with 7TDs) he is also a difficult defensive match-up using his skill and strength to bring down ball-carriers and cause turnovers. This is his first selection to the All Stars.
Foul Frank has been attracting attention and minor accolades over the past few seasons. In Season LVI he was named a Rising Star in the Regionals and last season was on the Conference Rep team. Like the Fun Police as a team, his improvement has been rapid and impressive. He acquitted himself admirably in Premier, using his fearsome array of mutations – claws and rot and his disturbing, misshapen body – to win both the Golden Knuckledusters and Shield. It is perhaps against the thick scales of Lizards that these gifts are most evident, his 3 CAS in games against both Skinks and Crocs testament to his fury and savagery. This is his first selection to the All Stars (an honour he’s sure to wave in the face of his nemesis Powie Strong).
Brooklyn High Focus were an impressive team in their first season of SWL action, running away (deservedly) with the Sandune Regional title and setting themselves up for a shot in the Conferences. At the heart of this success was the form of Edward Scissortongue. He scored a hat-trick against Ka Os and finished with 6 TDs for the season, a fantastic effort for a player in his inaugural season. He has showed himself capable of avoiding would-be blitzers, and of going toe-to-toe when needed. He has impressive strength for a player in his position and is poised for greater successes in Conference next season.
It is unusual for the All Stars to draw on two regional players, but this season, after much debate, the judges couldn’t separate the deserving champion Scissorhands, and his equally deserving opponent Viola of the Wings of the Condor. Where Scissorhands stands out with his strength, it is Viola’s speed and agility that impress. She is a remarkable athlete, the likes of which are rarely seen, especially so early in a career. Despite only having 8 games under her belt she has shown herself capable of amazing feats. A true allrounder, she opened the season with a CAS against Ka Os, and finished with 2 completions and 2 TDs against the champion team. Already having passed 100 rushing yards, at an average over 14 a game, she also has 7 completions and 7 TDs. This is her first All Star selection, but it may not be her last. Definitely one to watch.
Uzthug Chivas Regal is selected to the All Stars for the second consecutive season. He was a major contributor to Intoxicated Mayhem’s successful Conference season and will be pleased to be returning to Premier division in LIX. He is undoubtedly the veteran in an All Star team relatively full of fresh blood. He will open next season with his 120th game, a remarkable feat in itself, made even more remarkable by his resilience in the face of injury. Though he does carry old wounds they do nothing to affect his play. Uzthug’s commitment to unrelenting violence is unabated. Again he had multiple games this season in which he inflicted multiple CAS, against the Horrors, Edamame and Steaked. He averages over 7 blocks a game and more than a CAS every two games. This is his second selection to the All Stars.
Llstrr continues the Skink representation at the highest level, following in the footsteps of Strdthm (who was selected in LVII), he adds to the Slumbering Skink tally which marks them as the most represented All Star side in SWL history. Llstrr is a powerful and experienced presence on the Line of Scrimmage. With 59 games to his name and 430 career blocks he has shown his value in the trenches, but he also has 2 TDs and, interestingly, 2 Interceptions. Season LVIII saw him collect 7 CAS, with pairs against Crocs, Crypt-O-Night and the Rodents. He also made a crucially important hit in the final round game against Technically Minded, which helped to keep the game a draw. This is his first selection to the All Stars.
Our All-Star team this year is completed by another member of the Premiers. Optimus Prime is much shorter than his fellow All Star blockers, but he should not be underestimated. As much as GLaDOS deserves credit for carrying the ball, Optimus and the other blockers made the success possible with their grinding, relentless, toughness. He’s an experienced campaigner, with 34 games and nearly 200 blocks to his credit. He hits hard too, and has been known to attack an opponent even after they’ve been felled. His 3 CAS against the Skinks were crucial in his team achieving the points they needed to secure the title in the final game of the season. This is his first selection to the All Stars.
So congratulations go to all those named in the All-Stars Team. There were a lot of new faces named this year, and some familiar stars perhaps controversially overlooked. Was it right for two Regional players to be honoured while François Englert put together another impressive season and went un-named? Why was no Big Guy good enough for consideration? Who will lay the boots in to the fallen? Are there too many positionals being recognised?
Perhaps. Each would be able to put forward a good argument. With only 11 spots available in the All-Stars, there’s bound to be debate. It says much for the high-quality of the players newly attracted to SWL that this job is so hard, season after season.
A hearty congratulations also to the players selected in their divisional Representative teams:
LVIII Prem-Stars
Off (C) Crypt-O-Night
Abdominal Snowman Malapropism Mania
GLaDOS Technically Minded
Terence the Tosser Redgum’s Rodents
Dodgy Dan Redgum’s Rodents
Gorxl SWL Hunting Crocs
Foul Frank SWL Fun Police
Talus Ho Crypt-O-Night
Optimus Prime Technically Minded
Llstrr Slumbering Skink
Osmond Silentshield SWL Fun Police
LVII Conference Rep team
François Englert (c) Large Head-on Colliders
Iolas Griffon Gate Sentinels
Kantil Griffon Gate Sentinels
Andrew Andretti-Armani Blackwater Sting
Gorgoroth the Razor Talon Sharp Force Trauma
Jubba Grindhauler Crookwell Green Devils
Jur Grady Asha’maniac
Hanna Nano Edamame Diet
Invictus Malalocide
Uzthug Chivas Regal Intoxicated Mayhem
Flippers Jonasson Wonga Wonga Whalekillers
LVI Rising-Stars
Viola (c) Wings of the Condor
Ghoulhardy Error 404...
Who Me Ka Os
Edward Scissortongue Brooklyn High Focus
Huge Axeman Error 404...
Big Owl Brooklyn High Focus
Dreddencarmen Necropolis Nightjars
Cabbapult Error 404...
Clark Freezy Trees
Lorax Freezy Trees
Four Men Eau de Toilet
So that ends another awards post-season.
That's all from us for now so we hope you enjoyed the teams as they were announced, we look forward to seeing you all again at end of season and until then... may the riots be many, may your rocks fly true, and may many a star be surfed into the crowd! |
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| Tomay wrote: | | Thanks Redgum, you are a legend... |
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Toonie
Joined: Jun 03, 2004
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| Posted:
Apr 03, 2015 - 04:29 |
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Coach Toonie looked at the large gate set in the dome like hill.
Above the gate carved into the rock was the word "THUNDERDOME" and underneath that was carved "Two teams enter, one team leaves!"
He remembered what those words meant, to the victor went the spoils of the Thunderdome, the money, the fame and the team's name carved into the wall of champions, to be remembered for eternity.
For the loser it was back to the brutal challengers pool, not knowing whether they'll get the chance to compete again for the title of "Thunderdome Champion"
Toonie opened the gate with the key entrusted to him by Clayinfinity and looked inside.
He said "Better get the cleaning crews in here and send word out that the return to Thunderdome begins today!" |
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cdwat
Joined: Oct 29, 2013
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| Posted:
Apr 06, 2015 - 06:21 |
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Felaern dropped from squad?
The Griffon Gate Sentinels have denied suggestions that super-star enforcer Felaern has been dropped for the team's next game, insisting that his omission is strictly due to a groin-strain.
Pressure has been mounting on the aging super-star after a recent run of poor form. An insipid effort to protect the ball carrier cost his team the game in the Sentinels' Round 1 game against Wings of the Condor. This was followed up by a spineless showing against the SWL Fun Police, where he repeatedly refused to engage the opposition. Felaern appeared to be moving freely when leaving the pitch late in the Round 2 game, leading many to question his commitment to the team.
Felaern has been a vital part of the Sentinels' team, but a recent smashed-hip suffered at the hands of the Large Head-on Colliders has compounded his reduced agility emanating from a broken-neck. These injuries may well bring a premature end to an exciting career if the Sentinels decide that his high wages are no longer value for money. |
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