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DrDiscoStu



Joined: Feb 20, 2006

Post   Posted: Sep 28, 2015 - 14:13 Reply with quote Back to top

Glory, glory to our Wäŋa
Glory, glory to our Wäŋa
Glory, glory to our Wäŋa
And we all go marching on!

_________________
Check out my fishing and camping blog.

The Black Pearl Bounty-Board.

GUARD CONQUERS ALL!
ramchop



Joined: Oct 12, 2013

Post   Posted: Oct 02, 2015 - 06:54
FUMBBL Staff
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Image
Team Challenge - LXI Awards Night

The Team Challenge had grown into a much bigger event than that of the inaugural season. Four Factions battled it out, with the result hinging on a tense affair in the third to last game. Despite the great success of the tournament, and the huge business the sponsor had brought in from the promotions surrounding it, rumours persisted that the CEO was in great danger of being removed from his position at the helm. Cobber Ponzi, stood at the podium a broken man. Dressed in black, looking down at speech notes written by his minions, the only colour being that of bright blue rubber gloves. Yes, he'd lost the will to go on, but there still remained a semblance of self worth that'd prevent him from touching flesh with the decaying victors.

Without feeling, he mumbled his way through the proceedings. "And, so to the runners up. A superb effort from the HEROES to bounce back from last year's drubbings".

He paused, not looking up from his notes. Waiting for the HEROES representative to come forward and collect their 2nd place cheque. Applause rang around the hall as Hero of HEROES Season LX, Monica de la Feugo stepped up to collect the award. Cobber spluttered as if punched in the guts. His face burned a deep red as blood rushed to it and other extremities. "Struth!" He frantically removed the blue gloves and shook Monica's hand profusely.

It seemed that the poor High Elf catcher may never be released, until she was rudely shoved aside. A foul rotting hand greased the palm of startled and disgusted Cobber. The Wastepac Team Challenge Trophy (crafted from finest Plastique™), was snatched with the Undead's other hand. The walking corpse then stepped up to the podium and launched into an angry tirade....

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Congratulations to FOUL, winners of Wastepac Team Challenge Season LXI
cdwat



Joined: Oct 29, 2013

Post   Posted: Oct 08, 2015 - 17:22 Reply with quote Back to top

Image

With a successful season having been wrapped up with promotion to the SWL Premier League, it's time to award the Golden Helm to the...
Sentinels Best and Fairest Player - SWL 61

Votes for the best players were awarded after every match on a 3,2,1 basis. At the end of the season the votes are tallied and the winner determined.

In 3rd place with 10 votes is the dependable thrower Kantil.
In 2nd place with 11 votes is the phenomenal catcher Iolas
That leaves 1st place, on 13 votes. This season's Golden Helm winner is...

#1 Tanyl
ImageImage

On defence Tanyl frequently scooped up the ball when the opponent lost it, and either passed it back safely to Kantil in the backfield, or to a waiting catcher ready to run the ball in. He completed 6 passes for the season with every one of them either directly or indirectly leading to a touchdown. On offence Tanyl was a regular option to receive a pass, even when under pressure by the opposition, scoring 5 touchdowns.

Ladies and gentlemen, the Golden Helm winner for Season 61, Tanyl.

_________________
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Proud member of the SWL HEROES

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ramchop



Joined: Oct 12, 2013

Post   Posted: Oct 09, 2015 - 01:33
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The Good Ship Horton sailed westward against the prevailing winds. On board the Freezy Trees were refreshed, primed and ready for their final round clash. It was a rare event for them to travel home, but after three consecutive losses coach ramchop felt they needed a morale boost. It had done the trick, the players were focused but the coach was not.

ramchop paced the Captain's quarters, angry, frustrated. He was interrupted by the voice of Inner Wisdom....

Inner Wisdom: Forget it ramchop
ramchop: I can't.
Inner Wisdom: Let it go
ramchop: but... but... THIS could have been the Jesters
Inner Wisdom: What could have been, is not.

ramchop pondered this for a moment.

ramchop: You are very wise Inner Wisdom
Inner Wisdom: Yes, yes I am.


Last edited by ramchop on Mar 17, 2016 - 05:47; edited 1 time in total
ramchop



Joined: Oct 12, 2013

Post   Posted: Oct 16, 2015 - 09:21
FUMBBL Staff
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SWL Awards LXI

Welcome to the SWL awards for Season 61.

First the Bronze Awards, for outstanding performances in the regional leagues. It's good to see both stunty and Big Guy in the mix:

Image Image Slam Melon (RIP) (Maimami Vice) 13TDs
Image Image Pocket Rocket (Steel Fists of Dorugan) 7 Cas
Image Image Edwardo Vandes (Mexican Standoff) 117 Turns
Image Image Slam Melon (RIP) (Maimami Vice) 215 Rushing yards
Image Image Gypsy Danger ([SWL] Jeagers) 95 Pass yards
Image Image Jer Kervie (Colour of Money) 17 Fouls
Image Image Pocket Rocket (Steel Fists of Dorugan) 61 Blocks
Image Image Ricardo de Suza (Mexican Standoff) 15 Cps
Image Image Bernon (Psych Lab) 4.6 Block/Cas
Image Image Gypsy Danger ([SWL] Jeagers) 6.79 Pass/Cp

And the Bronze Twahnlow goes to the superb scoring effort of 13TDs

Image Image Slam Melon (RIP) (Maimami Vice) 39SPP


The Silver Gongs are perhaps the most difficult to attain, with nearly 550 players in the conferences this season


Image Image The Abdominal Snowman (Malapropism Mania) 10TDs
Image Image Caging Chris (Easy Mode Maniacs) 14 Cas
Image Image Bender, ImageArnold Schwarzeneggar and ImageData (Technically Minded) 116 Turns
Image Image The Abdominal Snowman (Malapropism Mania) 217 Rushing yards
Image Image Kantil (Griffon Gate Sentinels) 167 Pass yards
Image Image Serafin Stanivok (Jinxed Jesters) 30 Fouls
Image Image Damer Flinn (Asha'maniac) 70 Blocks
Image Image Kantil (Griffon Gate Sentinels) 19 Cps
Image Image Car pool tunnel syndrome (Malapropism Mania) 4 Block/Cas
Image Image Kantil (Griffon Gate Sentinels) 8.79 Pass/Cp

As with the Bronze, the Silver Twahnlow goes to the Ball winner:

Image Image The Abdominal Snowman (Malapropism Mania) 32SPP

Now on to the best of the best. The stars of the Prem Division:

The Disco Dan Ball:
Image Image ghoulhardy (Error 404 afterlife not found) 10TDs
The Replacemnt Knuckles:
Image Image Chuhui (Sotek Sacred Spawning) 10 Cas
The Touchstone Heart:
Image Image Sorris Canchell (Error 404 afterlife not found) 115 Turns
The Xies-ler-aym Slipper:
Image Image ghoulhardy (Error 404 afterlife not found) 188 Rushing yards
The Manfred von Richthofen Arrow:
Image Image Terence the Tosser (Redgum's Rodents) 21 Pass yards
The John Stone Boot:
Image Image Karma Man II (Sphinxes from Mars) 36 Fouls
The Eth'el Shield:
Image Image Huge Axeman (Error 404 afterlife not found) 82 Blocks
The Emilio Luthien Boomerang:
Image Image Terence the Tosser (Redgum's Rodents) 6 Cps
The Geoffrey Grimwade Fist:
Image Image Foul Frank (RIP) (SWL Fun Police) 3.17 Block/Cas
The Duskwind Strongarm:
Image Image sneutrino (Large Head-on Colliders) 4.25 Pass/Cp

Twanhlow treble for the TD kings:

The Duke Snakefield Medallion:
Image Image ghoulhardy (Error 404 afterlife not found) 35SPP


Last edited by ramchop on Oct 19, 2015 - 22:56; edited 1 time in total
ramchop



Joined: Oct 12, 2013

Post   Posted: Oct 16, 2015 - 22:25
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The timid member of the Awards sub sub committee cautiously peeked around the curtain from where he had been hiding for the past four hours. The committee Chair had insisted that if the Team Awards were ever to gain Official recognition they needed to be announced at the same event as the Twahnlows. But he never said what time they needed to be announced. The cunning plan had worked the Great Hall was deserted.

All that remained of the boorish crowd was a Norse lineman unconscious in the corner, the Cabalvision cameraman and a single snotling fingerpainting in a puddle of sick. The Hall was near silent, just the gentle snoring of the Norseman and the quiet tunes of a distant harpsichord. While surprisingly early in the evening, it was clear the audience had departed for the night. There was nothing that'd have cleared the Hall temporarily. No doubt they were off in the city's pubs, brothels and gambling dens never to return.

The sub sub committee member lumbered painfully to the podium, still in crutches from the LX battering. He nodded to the Cabalvision techie for the camera to roll. Just as he was about to begin the announcement in skipped a snotling carrying two kiddie cones. It giggled at the artwork on the floor and gave the spare cone to the vomit artist. In followed a Beastman with a double scoop chocolate dip with flake. And then a Troll, a childish grin on its face, holding a pink balloon with the words "Maester Whippy". The trickle turned to a flood, and very soon the Great Hall was packed with the full playing membership of the Southern Wastes League.

The sub sub committee member sighed, and prepared for another beating...

The Unofficial SWL Season LXI Team Awards!

Regionals:
Turns (1166): Steel Fists of Dorugan
Completions (25): Mexican Standoff
TDs (23): Mexican Standoff
Cas (29): ❄︎❆❅White Fluffy Stuff�
SPP (149): Mexican Standoff
Passing yards (122): Mexican Standoff
Rushing yards (295): Mexican Standoff
Blocks (381): Mad Midgardians
Fouls (25): Colour of Money
Blocks/Cas (11.55): ❄︎❆❅White Fluffy Stuff�
Pass/Cp (4.88 ): Mexican Standoff
Kills (5): Mad Midgardians

Conferences:
Turns (1213): Technically Minded
Completions (27): Griffon Gate Sentinels
TDs (21): Griffon Gate Sentinels
Int (2): Wäŋa Warriors and Public Service Announcement
Cas (28 ): Technically Minded
SPP (133): Griffon Gate Sentinels
Passing yards (182): Griffon Gate Sentinels
Rushing yards (293): Slumbering Skink
Blocks (386): Technically Minded
Fouls (39): Madness Mountain Misery
Blocks/Cas (5.83): Blackwater Glee Club
Pass/Cp (6.74): Griffon Gate Sentinels
Kills (6): Jinxed Jesters

Premier:
Turns (1106): Error 404 afterlife not found
Completions (11): Redgum's Rodents
TDs (14): Error 404 afterlife not found
Cas (30): SWL Fun Police
SPP (125): SWL Fun Police
Passing yards (33): Redgum's Rodents
Rushing yards (253): Error 404 afterlife not found
Blocks (337): Sphinxes from Mars
Fouls (64): Sphinxes from Mars
Blocks/Cas (9.73): SWL Fun Police
Pass/Cp (3.8 ): Large Head-on Colliders
Kills (5): Sphinxes from Mars
Redgum



Joined: May 19, 2009

Post   Posted: Oct 17, 2015 - 14:34 Reply with quote Back to top

Welcome to the SWL All Star presentation evening for Season 61.

It’s our pleasure to announce this season's representative squads.
Firstly, our congratulations to Grumpsh, who becomes the first coach to lead a Necro side to the Premier title with Error 404. Congratulations too to all of the Conference teams who will next season test their mettle in Premier.
Tonight we’re pleased to announce The SWL 'All-Stars' Team.
All SWL players are eligible for consideration in this team, from the Regionals up to the Premier League.
It gives us great pleasure to announce those honoured for their efforts and performances during SWL LXI:

The Abdominal Snowman (c) Bull Centaur Malapropism Mania
Ghoulhardy Ghoul Error 404 Afterlife Not Found
Slam Melon Ghoul Maimami Vice
Grumnir Runner Banner of the Black Stag
Dodgy Dan Gutter Runner Redgum’s Rodents
Kantil Helf Thrower Griffon Gate Sentinels
Huge Axeman Werewolf Error 404: Afterlife Not Found
Foul Frank Nurgle Warrior SWL Fun Police
Chuhui Saurus Sotek Sacred Spawning
Caging Chris CD Blocker Easy Mode Maniacs
Karma Man III Skeleton Sphinxes from Mars



The Abdominal Snowman is the LXI All Stars Captain, and continues a run of successful Bull Centaur players. He continues to add accolades to an already impressive career. He was a stand-out perfomer for Malapropism Mania, scoring 10 TDs in 7 games. In the only game where he was scoreless (against the Intoxicated Mayhem) he contributed through causing a CAS. He played his 50th game this season and shows every sign that he is in the prime of his career with plenty of great games yet to come. He’s fast and agile, with no sign of slowing down. If anything he’s faster than ever. He will have the 1500 rushing yard mark in his sights next season and if he’s able to achieve it he might just carry his team back into Premier Division.

Error 404 made good on a promising season in Premier last season by claiming the Premier title in LXI. Once again, it was Ghoulhardy leading the way. At only 32 games of experience he has established himself with a third consecutive All-Star selection, this time on the back of a title-winning season. He scored two hat-tricks (against the Rodents and the Fun Police) and contributed to the CAS count as well. His career average is over 1 TD per game and nearly 21 yards rushing. Perhaps even scarier than his already scorching pace and his defensive tenacity in the tackle, is the promise that he’s so young he will still get better.

Slam Melon can’t be with us tonight to accept his award, but his coach Karnov, has assured us that the posthumous honour will be passed on to wherever it is in the after-after-life that the ghoul now resides. Melon played only 12 games, but he lit up the regionals with his exhilarating play-style. He was buried alongside his Bronze Twahn, Bronze Ball, and Bronze Slipper. He set a standard for speed among the Vice which has inspired the likes of Donny Rockett and Chico Thuggs to their own amazing feats, and with 15 TDs and over 250 rushing yards from such a short career he leaves a gaping hole in the roster which Karnov will be hoping that Cannibal Smith can fill. One thing’s for sure, if eating the heart of the dead really does grant you their energy, then the Vice’s new Number 7 has a stellar career ahead!

Grumnir again makes the All-Star team. He’s becoming one of the most highly regarded players in the lower levels of the SWL and must be yearning to test his mettle against the best-of-the-best in Prem. He has been named Captain of the Regional ‘Future Stars’ team and rightly so. At 39 games he’s got enough experience and with over 30 TDs and over 800 yards rushing he has shown that he can get the job done. Season XLI saw him accumulate 190 rushing yards and 7 TDs with a dominant combination of strength, speed, and confidence. He is sure of hand, and of foot, and dauntless in the face of powerful opposition.

Dodgy Dan is one of the stalwarts of the oft-fragile Rodents. In a frustrating and often bloody Prem season, he was a consistent bright light of hope. He couldn’t lift his team off the bottom of the Prem table, but his 3 TDs in the final game against the Sphinxes gave the team it’s only win for the season and ensured some happy conversation around the warpstone pipes of post-season. He scored 7 TDs and took his career rushing total past 500, and he will be keen to ensure that the Rodents have a strong Conference season in LXII so that the return to Premier competition is a swift one.

With so many dangerous attacking options, and scoring potential aplenty, the All Stars team would be incomplete without the best thrower in the SWL. Kantil opened the season with a statement of intent: 4 completions and 35 passing yards in a narrow 4-3 win over Tomay’s Cocksville. He barely looked back, leading his team to a Conference title with 19 completions for 167 yards. He was awarded Silver Arrow, Boomerang and Strongarm, and is tonight honoured as an All Star.

There was some controversy last season when Huge Axeman was snubbed by the All Star selectors despite an outstanding season. There will be those who say this selection is a response to that controversy, or the criticism the decision attracted, but to say so would detract from Axeman’s Premier-winning season. It’s rare to find a player better equipped for the brutal task of dismembering his opposition. Not only does Axeman have incredible speed and vicious claws, he has developed great strength and ferocious tackling. He’s rarely on the ground for long, and he is relentless in his pursuit once he has a victim’s scent in his nostrils. He has inflicted 37 CAS in a 31 game career, and his 11 this season, including those in crucial games (3 CAS vs the Sphinxes, 2 vs LHC) could not go unrewarded.

Foul Frank has now achieved a remarkable four consecutive appearance in the All Star team, making him one of the most honoured and awarded players in the modern SWL. He is an inaugural holder of the Black Pearl, and the recipient of the LXI Geoffrey Grimwade Fist. None could match him, at any level of the SWL, for sheer, efficient, brutality. His block to CAS ratio was an incredible 3.17 to 1. He wasn’t quite as prolific as in previous seasons, but his 4 CAS from only 9 blocks against the Rodents made possible one of the most remarkable come from behind victories in SWL history. Sadly, there will be no future honours for Foul Frank, no more selections to the All Stars, as he has fallen in the line of duty to his dark God, Nurgle, and has passed into whatever decaying Hell awaits him. He will be long remembered, and most often with a sigh of profound relief that he is no longer with us.

Chuhui makes his second consecutive appearance for the All Stars, and his third overall. His 10 CAS were enough to earn him the Replacement Knuckles and the Captain’s armband in the ‘Prem Stars’ select team. This season saw him cause his 50th CAS, a remarkable trail of destruction for a Saurus, and due reward for consistency and application. He doesn’t have any remarkable or flamboyant part of his game, but he does well what his team needs him to do. He hits, and he hurts, and he stays on his feet and in the fight when they come to try and put him down. He is nearing his 650th block, and has maintained a remarkable career average of nearly 10 per game.

Caging Chris is another example of a player who gives his coach and his team exactly what is expected of him, and gives it in spades. This is his first All Star selection, and comes on the basis of a Conference season which saw him accumulate a remarkable 14 CAS, more than doubling his career total to date. His career best single-game record came in this season when he inflicted 4 CAS on the High Elfs of Griffon Gate, and he seemed about to challenge his own Personal Best against the Cocksville Blockers. His pact with chaos has granted him hideous claws which he uses to shred the armour of opponents as he drags them down and continues his attack while they lay prone and helpless. Many purists debate this technique as unsportsmanlike, but it is unequivocally effective.

The Sphinxes made an art-form this season of fouling, and Karma Man III in particular showed how effective the dastardly tactic can be. The dead lack any emotion, any empathy, and Karma Man showed how little he cared for his fallen opponents, kicking and stomping with abandon. The sheer unsubtle hackery led to rumours that he, or his equally dastardly coach, had somehow bribed every referee in the Southern Wastes. To lay 36 fouls, many viciously effective, many accompanied by the loud screams of his victims, or by the sharp crack of bones, the squelch of squashed organs… what other explanation could there be?

Congratulations go to all those named in the All-Stars Team. There were a lot of returning and familiar faces named this year, so particular congratulations to the debutantes, and a thought spared for those not here to be honoured, the posthumous All Stars who are lost to our league,but not forgotten. Where last season all of the debate was about the heavily ‘bashy’ make-up of the team, this year it is replete with speedsters and scorers. Perhaps the pendulum has swung too far… Perhaps.
One thing is certain: with only 11 spots available in the All-Stars, there’s always going to be debate. It says much for the high-quality of the players newly attracted to SWL that this job is so hard, season after season.

A hearty congratulations also to the players selected in their divisional Representative teams:

LXI Prem-Stars
Ghoulhardy Error 404
Dodgy Dan Redgum’s Rodents
Terence the Tosser Redgum’s Rodents
François Englert LHC
Ziggy Gravedust Sphinxes From Mars
Huge Axeman Error 404
Tepmazda SWL Hunting Crocs
Itzi Sotek Sacred Spawning
Chuhui (c) Sotek Sacred Spawning
Foul Frank SWL Fun Police
Karma Man III Sphinxes From Mars

LXI Conference Rep team
The Abdominal Snowman (c) Malapropism Mania
Shntsyeooa Slumbering Skink
Frank Thorns Soylent
Flesh Eau De Toilet
Kantil Griffon Gate Sentinels
Car Pool Malapropism Mania
Caging Chris Maniacs
Damer Flinn Asha’maniac
Serafin Jesters
Arnold Schwarzeneggar Tech-Minded
Viola Wings of the Condor

LXI Rising-Stars
Slam Melon Maimami Vice
Grumnir (C) Banner Black Stag
Gypsy Danger SWL Jeagers
Rae Fluffy White Stuff
Luke Skywalker Prancing Unicorns
Bernon Psych Lab
Pocket Rocket Steel Fists of Dorugan
Flay Splatthews Hostile Kiddies
Jer Kervie Colour of Money
Gory Maim Maimami Vice
Monica De La Fuego Mexican Standoff

So that ends another awards post-season.
That's all from us for now so we hope you enjoyed the teams as they were announced, we look forward to seeing you all again at end of season and until then... may the riots be many, may your rocks fly true, and may many a star be surfed into the crowd!

[/b]

_________________
Tomay wrote:
Thanks Redgum, you are a legend...


Last edited by Redgum on Oct 21, 2015 - 14:55; edited 1 time in total
cdwat



Joined: Oct 29, 2013

Post   Posted: Oct 17, 2015 - 15:38 Reply with quote Back to top

Image

Welcome one and all to the awarding of the medal for
The Hero of HEROES: SWL 61.

For the HEROES teams, Season 61 was a stark contrast to the previous season's mediocrity. This led to a lot of strong candidates for the award, with no less than 4 players being level at the top of the scorers list.

Alongside this group was a player that had an exceptional season. He defended by leaping onto the ball carrier, he scooped up loose balls, he made important passes (almost always on a defensive drive). All 6 of his passes led to touchdowns either directly, or a turn later. When he wasn't running in touchdowns (scoring 5 for the season), he was providing a receiving option and taking the pressure off his teammates. For his consistent and outstanding season he won his team's Best & Fairest award, and tonight he claims another honour.

Ladies and gentlemen, the winner of the Hero of HEROES award for Season 61, is:

Tanyl
from the Griffon Gate Sentinels.
ImageImage

Ladies and gentleman, please charge your glasses and join me in a toast to the Hero of HEROES for Season 61, Tanyl

_________________
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Proud member of the SWL HEROES

Bio template here.
Karnov



Joined: Jul 14, 2012

Post   Posted: Oct 18, 2015 - 08:00 Reply with quote Back to top

THE VICE REPORT

It is with great pride that the Maimami Police Department announce the decision to posthumously honour Bronze Twahnlow winner, Slam Melon, by naming the teams inaugural MVP award after him.

The "Melon Medallion" will be awarded to the Vice's best and unfairest player across the course of an SWL season.

In the final game of SWL Season LXI, with Maimami needing a win to secure the Big Daddy Cool Regional title, Slam, under tremendous Ogre duress, cleared the ball from deep within the Vice's own half. His job done, he was taken by surprise and knocked down by an Ogre cheap-shot. He was then fouled to death by an insignificant snotling.

Earlier in the game, Slam scored the the go-ahead score; that touchdown was enough for the Vice to claim the reggies title.

He lived fast and was ended young, but Slam's legacy with the Maimami Vice will forever be carried on from this day forward.

Rest in death, Slam.

_________________
Image
SWLpearls



Joined: Aug 21, 2015

Post   Posted: Oct 18, 2015 - 14:08 Reply with quote Back to top

"That orc" said the tall one in the navy mask "Is like nothing we have seen before. He is young, and still in regionals. Yet he has the potential to be better than the Duke. Let's act now while we have the chance."

There was a murmur of agreement across the group. And so, Luke Skywalker's name was etched onto the Black Pearl list. But would it be enough?

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tussock



Joined: May 29, 2011

Post   Posted: Oct 19, 2015 - 07:22 Reply with quote Back to top

ImageA Season 62 Preview, bought to you by the fine gentlemen at … uh, where are my notes?

Anyway, Terence, tell us about the premiership this season.

--

Well, Phillip, the statistical demons in the labs have told us again and again, the greatest predictor of future fates is the market insurance rates on a team's players, their training schedule, and the number of fans who come to cheer them on. We compile a rough estimate of these as each team's “value” as a rating, and also note their bank balances to determine if they can hold onto it.

--

Right, Terence, but what about the premiership?

--

OK, Phillip.

ImageIntoxicated Mayhem are up again from the conferences with the premiership's greatest haul of legends, amazing thrower Borgan Bollinger, lethal blocking trio Uzthug, Vrong, and Erigor, and running blitzer Gobslag Glenmorangie. Most team's I'd talk your ear off about that superstar troll Wadsack Martell, but he's no shining light in this team, and it hurts their finances to hang onto them all. They've got a top record for greenskins, but that really says it all, greenskins just aren't going to take out the big prize, not against all the speed and agility out there this season, even in the other greenskins!

Rating: 247, all but bankrupt, will struggle to replace any injuries, and it's a shame the mix really doesn't suit them. We may even see Morg'n'Thorg offer to take the field against a squad of this quality.

ImageSlumbering Skink are a team full of stars, oldest franchise by miles, great to see them back in prem, and you've got to rate them a big chance with enough in the bank to buy Wizard licences for both teams every match, wandering apothecaries, bloodweiser babes, secure magic items, and not even flinch. But their big lads are old and showing the wear of years on their bodies, 106 games for Sdlss alone, that's more than most regional teams combined player total! I question if they're still up to the demands of this competition.

Rating: 238, with a bank of 2 million! Spend up, Skinks, buy your way to the title, retire with honour!

ImageSWL Fun Police are our other star-studded lineup, though it's just not the same after those first two. They lost Foul Frank in the middle of last season to end up second, and I think that'll still put paid to their chances this one. Still, they're relatively young for nurglers and will grow to much greater heights yet. One thing's for sure, you don't want to face them early in the season, because they know how to hurt a team.

Rating: 224, with around 400k bank. The thing is, with these guys they need game time, money really doesn't cut it, young Leperous Larry will be a long time before children everywhere scream in terror at his name.

ImageThe superbly coached Error 404 afterlife not found, reigning premiers! We may see more true legends arise here this season, Huge Axeman and Ghoulhardy are both superstars, but it must be said the two of them carry the team and finally finding the afterlife for either of them will spell certain demotion for the squad.

Rating: 213, with 800k in the bank, but they face a real grudge match in the Fun Police first. It'll be a crucial match for them Phillip, if their superstars clear it safely (calling Igor!) they could easily go back-to-back.

ImageWāŋa Warriors with their famously agile blitzer trio Kakadu, Maguk, and Ubirr, perhaps stand a better chance of controlling the game than their elders in the Mayhem, star Gunguril is fast for a greenskin and could get some ball for them, but prehaps just not fast enough this season. I just can't see it suiting them Phillip.

Rating: 207, with 800k in the bank they'll survive the premiers and likely grow as a team for the experience. They still have to expect a demotion in these tough times.

ImageGriffon Gate Sentinels bring two more superstars to the premier division, Kantil and Iolas. Will they even survive it though Phillip? The team around them is mostly young, even a few journeyelves, and their finances are in a rather poor state. Being elves, they could just win every game, or die gruesome deaths on the field and lose every game. I'll bet on carnage against and wins for them from the two big Orc teams they face first up, but from there it just gets meaner and I doubt there'll be enough of a team left to face their nemesis Night Elves later in the season.

Rating: 176, barely 100k in the bank, it's going to be grim. To quote their coach "interesting start to Prem". Enjoy your inducements, you poor things.

ImageSpeaking of grim, Steaked is a ruined franchise, serving up little more casualties for their opposition. With the beating they took last season, it's surprising they didn't just close up shop. I guess winning so much is good for staff morale. Superstar blitzer Grilled carries the team, but he's also carrying a couple of niggling injuries and just won't do it for them all season.

Rating: 165, bereft of finances, journeyelves everywhere, this could easily be a miserable season for them. Being elves, with some very big inducements coming up, they may just win everything anyway.

ImageFirst up they'll face the other night elves, Jinxed Jesters. Such a young team to make the premiers, just 19 games thus far, only a smattering of emerging stars. It'll be a hard lesson in what makes the Southern Wastes League premiership the valued prize it is. Good luck to them, at least they've got a permanent squad!

Rating: 158, nothing in the bank. As with every elf team, winning is never beyond them, and who knows with all those inducements!

Back to you Phillip.

--

Thanks Terrance, but it seems you don't favour the rating as a good metric at all. Sorry that went overtime everyone, now a word from our sponsors, the stats demons in the labs. Ha!
tussock



Joined: May 29, 2011

Post   Posted: Oct 20, 2015 - 08:55 Reply with quote Back to top

ImageA Season 62 Preview, bought to you by the fine ladies in … uh, where are my notes again?

Anyway, Terence, tell us about the conferences this season.

--

Well, Phillip, the Trolls that decide who's allowed in which conferences have given us some startling mixes this year. There's certainly some big names down here from last season's premier division, and some not-so-lively young lights risen up from the draft.

--

Just, Terence, get on with it.

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Right you are Phillip!

High Street Dandies Conference sees no recent premier teams, but most of the squads who just missed reaching it last year, plus some recent arrivals from the regionals for them all to beat on.

Image Malaproprim Mania. Rating: 215, treasury 1 million. The legendary Abdominal Snowman might carry them through, but he couldn't do it last season!

Image Horrors Of Skye. Rating: 207, treasury 1 million. I'd say their two legends can't carry a team, but look who just won the premiership! Have to progress, surely.

Image Mexican Standoff. Rating: 194, treasury void. Totally dominated their trip to regionals, but no funds and already looking the worse for wear, another broken elf team headed for the premier division?

Image Madness Mountain Misery. Rating: 191, treasury 400k. Young for a nurgle squad, they could make it but would struggle if they do, one star is just not a premier team.

Image Cocksville Blockers. Rating: 182, treasury 500k. Old favorites, if they want to make the premiers, this is clearly the best chance for them, but I still don't fancy it.

Image Wings of the Condor. Rating: 160, treasury, haha, ha, sorry Phillip, none. The home of famed superstar Viola, and a constant stream of young elves come to die at her side.

Image High Elvis. Rating: 156, treasury zip. Second season, lucky to be here, it's a big ask to stay, but they'll grow in leaps and bounds for the experience.

Image Maimami Vice. Rating: 139, treasury 100k. Just 12 games, far too inexperienced to be in the big time, but they only lost one regional in a Bribery and Corruption scandal, maybe their coach can keep them ... uh, shambling along?

What a mix. Four big and hard-hitting squads, three elves, and some timid-looking undead examining the rules for inducements. Good luck to them.

--

What about the others Terence?

--

Glad you asked, Phillip!

Fraud Squad Conference brings us the season's tightest competition by far. Most of these teams are within a whisker of each other, and anyone could win it so long as they escape the Greenstars intact!

Image Soylent Greenstars. Rating: 199, treasury 100k. For nurglers they've taken a real beating in recent seasons, one superstar pestigor does not make a premier squad.

Image Redgum's Rodents. Rating: 193, treasury 400k. Great squad, but already showing their age, they should win more than they do. Will spoil a lot of team's ambitions at least.

Image Sacred Spawning of Sotek. Rating: 185, treasury 500k. After their fourth failed trip to the premiers, they're a damaged squad coming into this season. Still, they've won conferences with less talent than this around.

Image Technically Minded. Rating: 184, treasury none. A maturing dwarf squad, they'll be the biggest punishers of the conference. Superb record so far, good chance for them right here, may struggle for funding if they lose a couple of players early.

Image Eau de Toilet. Rating: 172, treasury nothing. Younger twin to the Greenstars, still trying to do it all with one superstar pestigor, and just getting knocked around.

Image Autumn's Leaves. Rating: 171, treasury 500k. Back after a short break, the loss of legend wardancer Lady Maple Leaf in their last outing still showing in their wounded ranks.

Image SWL Jeagers. Rating: 169, treasury 200k. Young squad with an indifferent record, but they're superbly balanced and may do well. No obvious targets for the bash at least.

Image White Fluffy Stuff. Rating: 166, treasury 200k. The other recently-raised undead team in the conferences, this the less successful one, will they even get a win here Phillip?

You have to expect the two young teams to drop down again, but it's anyone's guess who'll progress to the season 63 premiership.


Left Coast Style Conference has three season 61 premier squads, a couple of also-rans from the conferences, and two big names returned from the regionals. There's also a goblin team, whose placement here is under investigation after some brutal complaints from a demoted norse team.

--

On a Tuesday, Terence? Aren't they normally still sleeping off the weekend?

--

They're still going from the weekend! Shocking, isn't it Phillip?


Image Large Head-On Colliders. Rating: 212, treasury 1 million. Three legends and a good team supporting them. You have to expect them to destroy this conference, if not win it.

Image Sphinxes from Mars. Rating: 199, treasury 1 million. Another devistating squad for the conferences, I expect they'll be the one to bounce back just fine.

Image Psych Lab. Rating: 196, treasury 200k. An old team full of young players, Phillip. Still a season or two off their former glories I feel, growing well, can they produce another legendary runner?

Image Chaos All Sorts. Rating: 188, treasury 200k. Have to expect them to struggle against the premier giants and speed of the others, should start well against the goblins.

Image Athel Loren Lovers. Rating: 181, treasury 100k. Superstars Lothario and Cassanova will be asked to do it all over again, and it didn't work for them last time. At least they only face the Psych Lab without their big tree.

Image Orcs for Correct Spellung. Rating: 175, treasury 300k. After rocketing to the premier division, they were shown the door, I can't see they'll be back against the two bigger squads here.

Image Asha'maniac. Rating: 171, treasury 100k. This is a harsh conference for dwarfs, the sort of team building the maniacs need yet will be hard to come by here. A lot will be asked of their superstar slayer Damer Flinn.

Image Colour of Money. Rating: 135, treasury nothing in plain view. No one can say how these cheaters got here, one thing is for sure, they'll play the inducement game with all possible relish, garnished with funds from who knows where. Luckily they'll only face the big hitters later in the conference, perfect draw for them. No wonder there's an investigation.

Back to you Phillip.


Phillip?



Hmm, oh, yes, and what about the conferences, Terence?

Really? Right then, excellent work there Terence, you heard it here gentle viewers. So much to look forward to in season 62. I can't wait for the action to kick off tonight! We now break for a message from our sponsors, whoever they are.


Last edited by tussock on Oct 20, 2015 - 11:05; edited 2 times in total
Wex



Joined: Apr 21, 2015

Post   Posted: Oct 20, 2015 - 10:22 Reply with quote Back to top

Meanwhile, deep in the Southern Wastes

"Where are we, eh?" Administrator Pjj asked.

"Somewhere... Chaosy" replied Renegade Witch-Hunter Wex. (He was somewhat woozy from the transport. In another universe, he would be a Radical Ordo Malleus Inquisitor)

Coach Buuface, face maintained in his trademark permanent scowl that intimidated Goblins and Trolls alike, muttered grumpily under his breath.

Somewhat later

"It appears that we find ourselves deep in the lost Chaos Wastes of the South. As the lost few, we must band together in order to survive. It is only untied that we -"

"United." Relezite interjected.

"What?"

"United. Not Untied."

Taking a deep breath to control his temper, Wex continued, "UNITED, that we can succeed in this new land and be great coaches. Now, ONWARDS!"

Spotting Wex being clearly ready to charge forwards and away, Cyber-Ork m0gw41 grabbed him by the collar and hoisted him back.

"Oi humie what we call ourselves?" he snarled into Wex's face, breath alone causing the Witch-Hunter hat to wilt.

"..."

"Yeh, humie. What we call ourselves?" questioned Erickan, Black Orc musculature bulging as he tried to make himself seem larger than m0gw41's Cybernetically enhanced body.

"The... Alliance of League Individuals from Exotic Nations. Yes, that sounds like a sufficently expressive name."

"Impressive."

"IMPRESSIVE name, yes. Now, ONWARDS!"

And so, this new... Alliance of League Individuals from Exotic Nations, these.... ALIENs... join the WASTEPAC challenge

Image


Last edited by Wex on Nov 02, 2015 - 04:07; edited 1 time in total
DrDiscoStu



Joined: Feb 20, 2006

Post   Posted: Oct 21, 2015 - 05:20 Reply with quote Back to top

It was now October in the northern parts of the southern wastes, and Ubirr sat on his rock and overlooked the wetlands. It was now 'gunumeleng', or as the foreigners called it 'the build up'. It was heating up. He looked to the sky, as gunumeleng also brought with it the storms.

He could see lightning coming. For the next three weeks.

_________________
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Samaranthae



Joined: Aug 30, 2006

Post   Posted: Oct 21, 2015 - 12:42 Reply with quote Back to top

Coach Grumpsh has once against stirred controversy. Allegedly recruiting Osmond Silentshield outside of the post season trading period.

"Look he came to us, alright! He said he wasn't getting no respect and was eyeing off our shiny rings" The embattled coach said at the press conference.

The exact details of the trade deal are unknown but its said to contain several body parts of early round draft picks.

"They should be able to make something out of them"
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