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Patdragon



Joined: May 04, 2016

Post   Posted: Jun 07, 2016 - 17:43 Reply with quote Back to top

Gathered round the hospital bed just as Francis (secondary lead investigating detective) recovered consciousness, sits the lead investigating detective and Peanut the ogre.

LID: Welcome back to the land of the living Francis, You've had a serious concussion and a pretty bad break on your collar bone these last few hours and I was a bit concerned, the doc fixed up the collar alright from what I hear.

SLID: I told you playing those "Maniacs" guys would would end in a serious injury and I just knew it would be me, which is why I got those extra docs for us, lot of good those quacks did for us. Pretty much wet sponged everyone until I went out. Just tell me this was worth it.

Peanut: Peanut bring flowers for Francis

LID:Oh course it was. We learnt so many things while you were out.

SLID : Phew that's good to hear, if we hadn't i'd be even more pissed than I am now. So what did we find? are they the dealers we're after?

Peanut :Peanut find flowers, pretty blue flowers.

LID:Oh you meant about the case...Well we found out a small bit about the case. We snuck into their camp while they were on the pitch and we found no trace of wyrdstone. Either they don't use it and there gifts are "natural" god given gifts or the have it stored else where.

SLIDSo WHAT ON EARTH DID YOU MEAN YOU FOUND OUT LOTS?

Peanut: Peanut sorry, Don't shout at peanut.

SLIDI'm not shouting at you peanut, thank you for the flowers...but where are they...

Peanut:Peanut waited here for ages for Francis to wake up but no, and then no, and then no, and then Peanut got hungry. I'm Sorry.

Head in hand shaking his head in frustration he waits for the boss to answer he previous question

LID: Well it turns out we might be able to get extra resources if we keep up in this league. HQ saw us play and while we lost, they thought this venture is a great idea for promoting the services for when it all comes out and we catch the perps. Until then we keep it on the down low... still, they also put us in contact with this local lounge lizard who might know something. He's a fan of the next team we're scheduled against so he'll approach us at the next game.

SLIDWell i guess that's something...Anything else?

Peanut:Peanut ate the get well card too...Peanut sooo sorry.

b]LID[/b]: Well one more thing... given your injuries you're off the team....sort of.. You're going to be the new team mascot. The crowd were chanting it today and it seemed like such a good idea.

SLIDThey were calling us the pesky Nats... You're not...No..god damn it! No, that's absurd... Wait you mean I won't play on the pitch anymore... hmmm.. maybe that's a good thing.

Peanut: Here, have giant Gnat costume, it didn't taste good, so still here.
oozeboss



Joined: Mar 06, 2016

Post 18 Posted: Jun 10, 2016 - 00:31 Reply with quote Back to top

[deleted]


Last edited by oozeboss on Dec 21, 2019 - 05:52; edited 1 time in total
oozeboss



Joined: Mar 06, 2016

Post 18 Posted: Jun 10, 2016 - 02:54 Reply with quote Back to top

[deleted]


Last edited by oozeboss on Dec 21, 2019 - 05:53; edited 1 time in total
Faulcon



Joined: Aug 02, 2003

Post   Posted: Jun 10, 2016 - 12:24 Reply with quote Back to top

Slumbering Skink Press Release

Once again the media has taken a quote out of context (and even paraphrased it to completely change the meaning) to try and beat up a story. Coach Faulcon would like the record corrected, when compared with Coach Mudden he actually said "I'm not sure I'm good enough to play badly enough", which was in fact meant to indicate his respect for the ability of the frogs and their leader who were performing a feat he does not have the ability to replicate even if he wanted to. In no way was it intended to elevate himself above the other coaches of SWL, all of whom deserve the utmost respect and he will be expecting an apology and a retraction from the Toadal News and their journalists who fabricate such nonsense.
oozeboss



Joined: Mar 06, 2016

Post   Posted: Jun 11, 2016 - 04:05 Reply with quote Back to top

[deleted]


Last edited by oozeboss on Dec 21, 2019 - 05:53; edited 1 time in total
oozeboss



Joined: Mar 06, 2016

Post 18 Posted: Jun 12, 2016 - 13:05 Reply with quote Back to top

[deleted]


Last edited by oozeboss on Dec 21, 2019 - 05:54; edited 1 time in total
Redgum



Joined: May 19, 2009

Post   Posted: Jun 13, 2016 - 11:32 Reply with quote Back to top

Welcome to this very special SWL event, the first of its kind, a celebration of the 25 CRP seasons we’ve all enjoyed, and of some of the best players to ply their craft on dust or sand or grass or ice. To recognise the many and varied talents of the SWL All-Stars, this Decennial All Star team will be a full roster of sixteen, selected from the pool of players who have been named All-Stars in the last ten seasons.

Chuhui (C) Saurus Sacred Spawning of Sotek
Uzthug Chivas Regal BOB Intoxicated Mayhem
Foul Frank Nurgle Warrior SWL Fun Police
Huantza Saurus SWL Hunting Crocs
The Abdominal Snowman Bull Centaur Malapropism Mania
Francois Englert Bull Centaur Large Head-on Colliders
Lus-ler-cith Skink Slumbering Skink
Ghoulhardy Ghoul Error 404: Afterlife Not Found
Hoover Widowmaker Wood Elf Thrower Wings of the Condor
Borgan Bollinger Orc Thrower Intoxicated Mayhem
Viola Catcher Wings of the Condor
Dodgy Dan Gutter Runner Redgum’s Rodents
Dan “Big Daddy Cool” Guido Dark Elf Blitzer Blackwater Sting
Huge Axeman Werewolf Error 404: Afterlife Not Found
Cabbapult Zombie Error 404: Afterlife Not Found
Lady Maple Leaf War Dancer Autumn’s Leaves

The Captain for the current All-Stars team carries his armband into the team as the inaugural captain of a Decennial All-Stars squad. So much has been said of Chuhui already. The biggest problem with celebrating his career is the fear that we will run short of superlatives. He is a founding member of the Sacred Spawning of Sotek, and has put together a career nearing 90 games free of serious injury. Indeed, in all those seasons he has missed only 5 games, and in most seasons he has been among the most turns played for his team. He is the first Saurus in SWL history to achieve Legend status. His first game of the current season has taken him past 900 career blocks, at an average over 10 per game. He has 79 career CAS, 2 TDs and even an interception. Chuhui has been awarded the Silver Shield twice, the Eth’el Shield twice, the Silver Knuckles, and the Replacement Knuckles. His first appearance as an All-Star was in Season LVI, and his most recent in LXIV. He has a total of 6 All-Star selections (the equal most of any player), 5 of these consecutive (the equal longest run of consecutive selections) and has twice captained that illustrious team. While he’s named here on the line, we expect he’ll use his strength to break away, and his speed to make him a threat across the field.

Uzthug Chivas Regal played in 143 of the Intoxicated Mayhem’s 148 games, an impressive record in itself given the tough role that Black Orcs play on the Orc’s line. It took its toll, with a serious injury affecting his mobility in the latter portion of his career, but his role was never one that relied on agility. He was one of the most ferocious players ever to take an SWL field, relentless in his efforts to drag down and cripple his opponents, but he was also a team player. Anyone who stood shoulder to shoulder with him (or opposed him) can attest to his ability to help his fellow orc. He averaged more than 7 blocks a game in his career, an impressive work rate which saw him crack the impressive 1,000 career block milestone. From these he inflicted 79 CAS. Uzthug was selected for the All-Stars in seasons 57 and 58, won Conference championships in LI, LVI, LVIII, and LXI, and played in ten Premier Seasons.

Foul Frank is a Super-Star of the SWL Fun Police and one of the most efficient killers to have played in the SWL. His career was fatally cut short after only 42 games, less than half as many as Chuhui, and 100 less than Uzthug. One is left to wonder what he could have achieved head he had their longevity. In his first season he was identified as a Regional Rising Star. In the next he was named in the Conference Representative team. But it was his third season (LVIII) in Premier competition where he had his break-out. That season he won the Replacement Knuckles and the Eth’el Shield, and secured his first All-Star selection. He would go on to finish with three more, his fourth awarded posthumously at the end of season LXI. He is the inaugural holder of an SWL Black Pearl and winner of the LXI Grimwade Fist. His 65 CAS came at an average of more than 1.5 per game and from fewer than 6 blocks per CAS.

Our final Lineman of the 16 is also recognised posthumously. Huantza had a career plagued by injury, but he played through a couple of different leg injuries which had slowed him, and he died as any SWL warrior would wish, in competition. For all that he was, at the end of his career, slowed, he never stopped hitting hard. In 55 games he caused 41 CAS from 387 blocks, aided by his tackling skills and his willingness to go to ground with his opponent if it meant that he could remove them from the game. He played in three Premier seasons with the Hunting Crocs, and was named an All-Star in two of those Premier seasons, LVI and LVII. While he starts for the Decennial Stars in the Reserves box, he is absolutely worthy to take the field among the best of SWL’s CRP era.

Francois Englert is one of the SWL’s oldest and most decorated players. He was selected to the pre-All-Stars representative Prem team on two occasions, once as captain, and made his first appearance with the All Stars in Season 57, as captain. He returned as All Stars captain for two more seasons (59 and 60), and in many ways is the prototype for fellow star Centaur the Abdominal Snowman. He was sure-handed and agile, the consummate ball carrier, but Englert also developed a defensive element to his game, able to run down and tackle his opponents. He has set many SWL records in the CRP era, and is the biggest star the era has produced. He accumulated 2616 rushing yards, at over 16 yards per game, and scored a massive 138 TDs, impressive records by any measure and enough to make him the first-choice ball-carrier for the Decennial All Stars.

The Abdominal Snowman is the equal record holder (with Chuhui) for the most All-Star selections, with 5 consecutive selections between Seasons 55 and 59, and a 6th selection as captain in Season 61. He is almost perfectly built for carrying the ball, a fact attested by the 1653 rushing yards he accumulated in only 65 games (and average of more than 25 yards per game). He was fast, even for a Bull, and had an amazing set of hands, able to catch or pick-up with confidence. Even if he was caught he was difficult to bring down, held the ball against any attempts to strip him of it, and able to stiff-arm his opponent to make space for himself to run. He scored 76 touchdowns in his Legendary career, showed he could pass the ball on several occasions, and even secured an interception. He was selected to the All-Stars in Seasons… and was one of the first names selected for the Decennial All-Stars.

Lus-ler-cith is a much different kind of runner than the Centaurs, but before being cruelled by injury, he was one of the finest skinks the SWL has ever seen. A member of the storied and oft-successful Slumbering Skink, he is a Premiership title-holder and a Legend of that already legendary team. His strength, on a size-ratio, was remarkable, and his courage to continue after a fractured skull nearly ended his career was worth celebrating. He scored 62 TDs, from 1373 rushing yards, in 82 games, by dodging and sprinting and side-stepping his way to the opponents’ endzone. He helped his team defensively too, developing a diving tackle technique which made him very difficult to evade. He was selected as captain of the All Stars in their inaugural season (55).

Ghoulhardy receives his Decennial All-Star award post-posthumously, having being killed (again) and thus ending his career. It was a short career, for a Legend, his many successes all coming in the space of only 51 games, but this makes it perhaps all the more remarkable that he achieved what he did. Over 1,000 rushing yards, and 47 TDs, say all that needs saying about his threat with the ball in hand. He was remarkably fast, sure of hand, and hard to bring down, but those traits alone are not the sum of his talents. He was a versatile player, capable of hurting his opponents physically (he caused 9 CAS and won the LXII Grimwade Fist), or with a well-placed short pass (he had 14 completions, averaging about a yard each). He was a Premiership champion in LXI, and an All-Star in four consecutive seasons: LIX-LXII, three of these achieved in Premier competition.

Hoover Widowmaker is the perfect example of the Wood Elf thrower, capable of starting deep in his backfield and drawing his opponents on, before stepping up and delivering a pin-point accurate pass. He has a strong arm, and the ability to spot and avoid potential interceptors. In only 40 games he has completed more than 100 passes, for over 700 yards gained. He is a current member of the All-Stars team, having secured his two selections back-to-back after successful Regional and Conference campaigns. We’re really excited for the Widowmaker’s future, and certainly all of SWL would love to see him perform at Premier level.

Borgan Bollinger is the second member of the Intoxicated Mayhem to make the Decennial All-Stars. He’s a much different type of thrower to Widowmaker, as much a carrier as thrower, really. For an Orc, he had remarkable agility, and he was an on-field leader as well, directing his team and helping to avoid those game-turning errors which can beset even the very best. He played 92 games, a testament to his longevity, and threw 91 completions for 367 yards. He also rushed for over 1,000 yards, and scored 26 TDs himself in addition to those set up with his passing. He was selected for the All-Stars in Seasons 59 and 60.

Viola is an amazing athlete, even among the already athletic elven teams. She is off the charts for agility, and has preternatural strength and speed to go with it. For all this, her game plan is simple, but almost impossible to prevent. She has scored 43 TDs in only 50 games, from 782 rushing. So highly regarded is she that a Black Pearl bounty is on her head, but none have yet been able to claim it. While she has been selected as a catcher, she offers great versatility, as shown by her 45 completed passes and 11 CAS caused. She was selected as an All-Star in seasons 58, 59, 63 and is a current All Star for season 64.

Another posthumously honoured All-Star, Dodgy Dan was the first Legend of the now-retired Rodents. 77 games is an impressive career for a Gutter Runner, even more so given the fractured skull Dan had suffered and the sense in those final seasons that he was living on borrowed time. He made the most of it though. He scored 66 TDs, and reached 866 Rushing yards. He was strong, for a rat, and as fast as you’d expect. His specialty was a side-stepping, sprinting, leaping, dodging one-turn touchdown, which salvaged many games for his appreciative coach, and frustrated many an opponent. He was selected for the All-Stars in seasons 61 and 63, and again in his final, fatal season 64.

Dan Guido was a foundation player for the Blackwater Sting, one of the most remarkable teams of the CRP era. In a team famous for its physical attributes (and subject to any number of rumours about what additives were in the team water supply), Guido still stood out. Nicknamed, “Big Daddy Cool”, he started as a bit-player, renowned for a lack of game time. But as he physically developed, he left that reputation behind, becoming a Legend of the SWL. Blessed with incredible agility, strength and speed, he also had a habit of leaping away from, even over, his opponents. He finished his career after 103 games, hobbled by a niggling injury and the lasting effects of a fractured skull. He scored 96TDs from 1,449 rushing yards, and was selected as captain of the Season 56 All-Stars.

Huge Axeman is the sharp edge on the Decennial All-Stars, the point of the spear, the edge of the blade. He is one of the most brutal killers ever to carve his way through the SWL. A wolf of remarkable strength and ferocity, he had 68 CAS from 519 blocks in 51 games at the time of selection, and his career is continuing with two MVP performances to start the latest Prem season. His Legend is built on his frenzied attacks, his sharp claws, and his ability to jump up when knocked down, but he’s also capable as a ball-handling, having recorded 149 rushing yards and 11 TDs. After being controversially overlooked for All-Star selection in Season 60, he hasn’t looked back, becoming a triple consecutive All-Star (Seasons 61-63)

Cabbapult started his career as a Dark Elf Runner for Jevouse’s ‘For All the Steaks’ team, but in his first game he was slaughtered by Huge Axeman. Grumpsh worked his necromantic magic over the corpse, and it rose again, shambling, shuffling, groaning… ready to stomp. And stomp he has. The zombified Cabbapult has had a much greater career than the Dark Elf from which he was made: A Premiership win in Season LXI, multiple selections to representative squads in the Regionals and twice in Premier, with All-Star selection in seasons LX and LXII. Those same seasons he won the John Stone Boot. He has amassed 110 fouls in 49 games, and has oft demonstrated the value of a well-placed kick to a fallen foe.

Lady Maple Leaf doesn’t fit neatly into any of the categories coaches might traditionally use to describe their players. She’s clearly an attacking threat, having recorded 40 TDs in her 51 game career and with enough speed to make the one-turn score achievable, even more so given her side-step and her prodigious leap. She was also capable of delivering mighty blows against her opponents, and had 19 CAS to her name. She could pass the ball, with agility impressive even among the elves, and defensively could leap into a tight cage to pry loose the ball from the opposition carrier. When knocked down she could jump straight back up and use her speed to cover the pitch. She’s a jack (Jane?) of all trades, and master of some, and earnt selection to the inaugural All-Stars in season 55, and again in season 57.


Congratulations go to all those named to the rare honour of the Decennial All-Stars Team. It has been a difficult thing, winnowing down the many stars, super-stars and legends from among those eligible for selection, but to be among the sixteen players chosen from 10 SWL Seasons, at Premier, Conference and Regional, is a high honour indeed. And while we celebrate these 16 as those who rose to the top, we also offer our hearty congratulations also to those players who made the shortlist for final considerations.

We’ll be back again for the All-Stars at the end of the season, the first in the next series of eligible players for the Decennial All-Stars II.

_________________
Tomay wrote:
Thanks Redgum, you are a legend...
Patdragon



Joined: May 04, 2016

Post   Posted: Jun 15, 2016 - 06:19 Reply with quote Back to top

Somewhere safe, somewhere secret.

SLID: So glad to be out of that skintight sauna suit. It stinks like it's still a rotting piece of flesh and I still can't shift the smell after three days.

LID: Well at least you can attend the meeting now without making Peanut vomit. You must have a unique odor for that.

Peanut: Like my Da's cooking!

SLID:Well if anything I've sent it to the cleaners in the tanner section as the at least a tar smell I can cope with. Also found an elf dealer who's offered some “spritz” to perfume it up. Lets just hope its not overly sunny on the next match or that thing will boil me alive. So did we meet the contact?

LID: Indeed laddy and we have a reliable lead for once. A while ago, the time frame is vague admittedly but still recently maybe a month ago a witness saw Bzzark the Bellicose a minotaur with the Charnel House Sanctum in possession of some weird glowing green substance. He didn't know what it was at the time but the very next game he had grown a claw. Now as were playing them next the plan is to try and question this Bellicose, and find out were he got the good from. As no one else has anything “abnormal”on the team we think it's him or his coach that knows someome.

SLID: Wow, that actually does sound like a good lead. I see the main problem being getting this Beef to speak to us. Just how are we going to do that?

Peanut: hmmm....Beef.

LID: I'm still working on that but we may have to go Bad cop, Good for nothing cop on him while were on the field. If we can just get a hold of him for a few minutes Our “potion department” has concocted a new formula to make him more talkative.

SLID: So I guess that'll be a job for Peanut and another, Not sure many of our current lads are the bad cop type, all are good for nothing but we might need some outside assistance for that.

LID: Well Lucky for us I've found us a wizard to blast the beast if all fails.

SLID :Oh please not that Fizzle guy again! He did nothing but give a goblin a light tickle the last time we worked with him. His spells are less effective than the smell of the mascot suit. May I suggest an alternative, We drop out of the game and just investigate this like normal detectives.!

LID: And lose the best leads we've found this month, now you're just talking foolish. We're in this til we find the dealer or until we're recalled. If you're that insistent about the wizard though I'll have a look at plan M as well, just in case.

SLID: Plan M? ...That's not code for another Mascot plan is it? It better not be or i'll end up like mature cheese again.

Peanut: Hmm...Cheese. … Food time.

An ogre stand up and cracks open a trap door, from below.
Peanut: Oi barmaid, We need food down here, Beef and cheese please.

SLID: We really need to train him better in keeping secrets.
cdwat



Joined: Oct 29, 2013

Post   Posted: Jun 15, 2016 - 16:53 Reply with quote Back to top

Image

Welcome one and all to the latest induction ceremony of the
SWL HEROES HALL OF FAME

High Elves are the epitome of the Noble Elf, the ideal. While the flashy, showy, limelight stealers are a part of that, the true Elf is one who is always there, doing the right thing at the right time, being a leader, a companion. Above all, the Noble Elf does all this, and looks DAMN good doing it. Tonight's inductee IS a Noble Elf, and a fitting member for the Hall of Fame.

It's my honour to announce that the next HEROES Hall of Fame inductee is:


Lord Burton
from the High Street Dandies.
Image

Please visit the HEROES home page to see Lord Burton's full profile.

_________________
Image
Proud member of the SWL HEROES

Bio template here.
Patdragon



Joined: May 04, 2016

Post   Posted: Jun 18, 2016 - 06:38 Reply with quote Back to top

In a new secret location

SLID: Well that plan didn't work now did it. We had one task to do, knock out the beef and question him, but what happens, he knocks Peanut out and that damned truth “potion” gets given to him instead! We had to keep people off the pitch just to hold him down so he didn't wreck what is left of this poorly conceived “cover”.

Peanut:We will find the Wyrdstone, its our job, our job, our job, it's our job to find the wyrdstone.

LID: True, the beef just got in a cheap shot when Peanut wasn't looking, but we should have let him back on the pitch he could have done the job and gotten that cow off the pitch.

Peanut: Cow had soft fur. Hard other things but soft kitty fur.

SLID: Well if you had bought those kegs of bludwiser like I suggested we might have gotten him to flush his system quicker you know he has a small bladder. Plus he like the delivery girls, they could have kept him distracted.

LID: He has a high metabolism, it'll be out of his system soon enough.

Peanut: Peanut need bathroom, I tinkle.

LID: See its already just about done with. Go sort yourself out Peanut.

SLID: But at the time putting him on the pitch was a bad move for the mission. He was just blabbing the first things on his mind and as you had told him just to focus on the beef and the mission that what he was talking about. Plus what happened with that new guy you hired, wasn't he supposed to put the boot in to the beef too.

LID: I'm looking into that on a different matter. After the match he just disappeared and I think he may have stolen something...

SLID: Oh great now we might have a leek. Where did you find the guy in the first place?

LID: He was hanging out in a bar, I think it was called the Red rum. He was singing with some friends about slavery and talking about wanting to play blood bowl. So I bought him a drink and after I had a chat with him he went back to his mates to discuss things, then with quite a few of them beaming obliviously thinking there mate is getting a chance at the big time, I signed him up for a test game.

SLID: You seriously need to wait until HQ send us re-enforcements. The new guy Michael did well, he's a fast little bugger, apparently he used to work the beat just outside Mordhiem, so he knows a bit about Wrydstone. What did the Red rum guy steal?

LID: Just some papers as far as I can tell but some were importantly vital.

SLID: Well sound like we should head back to the bar and see if we can track him down. We'll keep a few guys watching the beef in case they get a chance opportunity to question him. So who are we supposed to play next.

LID: Some team with a giant red fist symbol. From sounds of it, just some random brutes. We should be ok if we can avoid their harder hitters. Might even win this one if we're lucky and get popularity too.

SLID: Well lets hope something goes right. We need some new leads...but I guess a win might be ok.

Peanut: Peanut feel better now his flesh keg is empty.
Patdragon



Joined: May 04, 2016

Post   Posted: Jun 19, 2016 - 07:31 Reply with quote Back to top

In another new super secret location.

Michael:Psst! Is that you second detective?

SLID: Yeah over here!

Michael: Lets not meet here again, this place place is a crap hole, you guys really couldn't find a better place than this for a meeting. It stinks like some Nurgle skunkman had eaten a nurgle skunkman covered in rotten eggs and crapped it out, then ate it again and this smell is the result of the second defecation. Ppphooar!

SLID: I've told the boss his choices for these meeting could be better before but he's right in the fact very few people will come here. Even Peanut had common sense not to come here so this place should be secret for longer than last time.

Michael: So where is the boss? This meeting was supposed to have already started by the time I got here.

SLID: Started and finished in five minutes. Everyone else couldn't stand it and according to the boss i'm both used to all this stinky stuff and someone had to wait here for you to do the exchange. Did you manage to get the papers back from that Redgum thief?

Michael: Sure did but I don't see what was so important about the papers, just seems like a load of childish doodles of the boss with super big muscles standing over crudely drawn fallen foes on a blood bowl pitch. Drawn by his kid perhaps.

SLID: He doesn't have a kid and according to the boss this were his personal files on the mission. Sounds like this was a wasted mission.

Michael: Gods damn it. There's something wrong in the head with the boss isn't there.

SLID: According to doctors no but we all know anyone who plays blood bowl is not quite right.

Michael: What's your excuse then?

SLID: Same as yours...Orders

Michael: Talking of order you said this was an exchange, what you got for me.

SLID:New mission from the boss sort of. As we're getting some help from the H.A.N.D they've asked for some help on some Bribery and Corruption issues. Apparently our losing the game vs the Charnel House has put them in an awkward spot. If we can get some information for them and take out a possible threat they might be able to stop an invasion from the sounds of it.

Michael: So what does the boss actually want me to do?

SLID: Well according to the boss you were to sneak into the goblin camp dress up as a small troll and befriend them but after I had a word with him I've convinced him on a better idea you are to find a recruit two mercs to help deal with the upcoming match. Find us a spell caster who can actually fling spells, our current one Andy Fizzle is a drunk and a sub par mage to begin with. Also just find someone who can good at bashing in goblins and trolls, anyone will do here but its the and trolls bit you might have an issue with so good luck with that.

Michael: Might have just the person in mind for the bashing but he doesn't come cheap you got the funds for this?

SLID:Here take this pouch, that should cover what we need. Shushhhh...did you here something.

* sound of footsteps*

* whispered *

Michael: Lets get out of this f-ing sewer entrance shall we. See you at the next match.

SLID:Agreed. Good luck with the search.

----------------- a few minutes later --------------------

Skunkman Oh Nurgle not agian, I really should not have eaten that... next time no eggs...

* the sound of flatulence *
oozeboss



Joined: Mar 06, 2016

Post 18 Posted: Jun 20, 2016 - 03:41 Reply with quote Back to top

[deleted]


Last edited by oozeboss on Dec 21, 2019 - 05:54; edited 1 time in total
D_Arquebus



Joined: Aug 02, 2003

Post   Posted: Jun 22, 2016 - 10:46 Reply with quote Back to top

***hissing of static fades to what sounds like an infomercial for Uncle McVities Troll Tooth Polish, guaranteed to clean those tough blood stains...then ***

Hello this is Xander Sassmund for ‘Blood Bowl 2 XS!!’ on Pirate Radio station, 2GB (Double Gulf Blowholes) and we are catching up again today with Coach D_Arquebus in this, the 3rd leg of the burly beat down of the Pact in this the 65th Season of the SWL.

XS: So Coach D_Arquebus, you have survived the predicted 'tough justice' of the Police and the 'harsh schooling' from the Hostile Kiddies relatively unscathed...

DA: Tell that to Muddle...

XS: Well.. he regenerated those limbs back anyway didn't he? How important IS a troll's head really...? ...*laughs* ... so, now you've run the first 2 in the gauntlet how do you feel you will fair against the 'stomp squads' of the Morticians? Will some of the All Sorts lose heart, or other vital organs, in tonight's match and defect to the opposition?

DA: Well XS, no doubt we will lose some of the lads in tonight's game. But glory isn't always measured in years on the Bowl Fields, and anyone who joins the Morticians is sure to enjoy a robust dental plan and free footwear for years to come.. so we wish em well.

XS: Do you see the expected attrition costing you the game? What is the game plan to rally and rise out of the middle of the pack in the GB Furry Conference?

DA: Well the lads will simply have to match the teamwork effort of the Morticians. They are guaranteed to drag us down into the dirt and grind us in... but that's Blood Bowl. The producers are giving away a large cash bonus to the Morticians for this match. So I'm sure the only thing we CAN count on is that we cannot count on the refs. But we bring some experience to the game with all of that, and Cacophonous Chorus of the Big Lads can be hard to hear.

XS: You feel the Terrible Trio can lead a bashing war against the dead or will the Mummies *ahem* wrap this game up early and have fans home for some home cooked deserts? Some pundits have pointed that after only 11 games the Morticians have a positive 27 casualty differential whereas your Pact are lurking in the low negatives after 43...

DA: Well either way, the lads will make some chaotic noisy plays. The game will be see some big hits, bigger boots, and no doubt a bloody babbling bedlam from the crowd!

**Fades to static**

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oozeboss



Joined: Mar 06, 2016

Post 18 Posted: Jun 22, 2016 - 11:41 Reply with quote Back to top

[deleted]


Last edited by oozeboss on Dec 21, 2019 - 05:55; edited 1 time in total
Patdragon



Joined: May 04, 2016

Post   Posted: Jun 26, 2016 - 16:30 Reply with quote Back to top

Many Detective in a semi-secret location

Peanut: Peanut learn new skill!

SLID: Really Peanut What did you learn?

Peanut: Peanut can now stand very still and not move...Look!

SLID: Very...good peanut.... you keep that up, Kay.

LID: OK detectives, quiet now time for the meeting. So you may be wondering why I called this meeting today.

Michael : Nope, it's about time we had another meeting based on the intel I gave you.

LID: Well first I'd like you congratulate you all on your good work in the field. We've managed some advances and we've overcome some set backs and I think we've grown as a group too. But today I have great news, thanks to our newest recruit Michael we have a solid lead on two wyrdstone users. So far we've been looking at chaosy teams but as some of those teams may actualy be gifts from their god and therefore acceptable in the league under the Gods gift clause we have decide to focus on investigating the skaven teams. AS they are not normally covered under this clause they must be users. In our next game there are two rats by the name of Keytarkat, Crockrat and KendoKat who have grown mutations and what we need to do is take one of them out and take a sample from their fur. Once we have the evidence I can organise a raid on their base.

SLID: That sounds solid sir. You finally read my reports didn't you.

LID: Your reports? No those things are way too boring to finish, this idea came to me when I was reading Furry Potter and the Chamber Pot of Secrets. One of the characters grew horns after he encountered a similar substance called warpstone and grew a claw and horns. Just like our three suspects on the Compare the Meerkat team.

SLID: Sigh.

Peanut: See.... still not moving!

LID: The plan is for the doctors or the professor to take the sample from Kendokat as he's the one most likely to succumb and then bring it back to the lab. The plan for the rest of us is to provide enough cover for the sample takers by taking out as many of other players as we can so its looks less suspect.

Dr Tod: One question Sir. Taking a sample is all well and good but won't we be exposed if you think the stuff is on their fur.

LID: No need to worry about that Doctor, I've planned for that, I've ordered some extra latex gloves just in case..

LID: OK any more questions?

Nearly everyone's hands go up.

Peanut: Still not moving!
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