tussock
Joined: May 29, 2011
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Aug 23, 2016 - 04:20 |
 
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 An SWL first annual Bob Borc Cup preview, bought to you by your minister for sporting achievements, in a most excellent use of imperial funds.
We've drawn the third round now, Terence, a sparkly 16 teams remain for eight matches that leave fans quite the wait before games. How is the league handling the growing anticipation?
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Pillip, some weary old players of ages past have come out of retirement to stage a quick series of filler games, in honour of how long this whole thing has been running. Sixty five seasons, what a league, it's the Birthday Bash.
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Doesn't it include some newer squads from the fringes of the SWL? I hear Morgwegian are making an appearance!
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Morg's just here for the Bob Borc Cup, hopes to find another game or two, but his sycophants are indeed along for the ride and will play in the Bash as well. Back to the real competition!
Round Three: FIGHT!
 vs  While Steaked served up their opening Amazon foes a comprehensive defeat, rarely have the Port Macquarie Snowleopards looked so calm and measured in their solid defeat of the once-champion Norse, especially after running up a huge score with the Underworld first round.
This game has it all, tremendous turnover threats abound, legendary scorer Bolwgan, how can the pundits pick a favourite? But they do, with Steaked firmly just in front, something about the mad-cap ability to tie up the more agile squads and prevent those sneaky hits on their multitude of ball carriers.
 vs  After beating the big Pact, Urban Nightmare never saw the tails of their next fleeing opponent, but there'll be no such running from the endlessly willing hearts of the Griffon Gate Sentinels, who made need another recovery game after the Ogres clubbed them to bits, and now this.
We're hearing about fair favouritism for the Nightmare, you never know with the Sentinels, they're fearless and now-legendary Iolas is no less healthy than he's been for a long time. What will win out in our only real test of bash against pure grace.
 vs  New World Winers and Diners closed out the Human's attack, and have a full set of Diners ready to Compare the Meerkat, who in turn have seen to some plucky frogs and carved up a big Nurgle infestation who rather forgot to score.
This time the New World Winers and Diners are rated 2:1 favourites, but Compare the Meerkat overcame just that to win their previous game with great timing and crushing blitzer work. The question may be one of simple bloodlust, Thralls and Linerats alike may not last long, but the ball-handling stars in the Vampire squads can struggle without their food.
vs After Dallas Drowboys barely beat both Norse and High Elf alike, as if they were kinsmen, they now face our Autumn's Leaves who dramatically saw out a keen Skaven squad in a tense and high scoring game.
Pundits agree firmly on a 3:1 favouritism for the Dark Elves over their Wood Elf foes. I'm not sure I do though, with such tremendous star talent in the smaller team, and well capable of lightning scores, no room for loose passes and lax late play here. Still, the Drowboys are no slouches, and can tie up the best of them.
 vs The premier Champions remain with us, Slumbering Skink again dramatically struggled against the powerful hitting Ash'maniac to pull off what seemed like an unlikely overtime victory. Damer Flynn, we will remember him. They meet Altered Perception just off smashing their opposing Elf foes fresh out of premier in a cagey display of readiness for the big time. A preview of the season 66 Premier battle right here.
The Slumbering Skink are said to be rated 2:1 favourites, but they've looked anything like it this competition, barely beating much less developed teams and the pundits all saying they were lucky to do that. Altered Perception, meanwhile, despite being a fairly young team, are simply playing great bowl, and dominating play in game after game. Still, the Skink are healthy and their great library of playbooks includes so many ways to defeat teams just like this one.
 vs Eau de Toilet beat The Champ with his unbeatable Orcs in overtime, and overcame some regional rookies of the same breed who put up a great fight. They face Public Service Announcement who won against the other big Lizards and cruised through in overtime against an exhausted and fumbling Goblin team.
Our agents are reporting Eau de Toilet at 3:1 favourites, I suspect the game will be anyone's, there's just so much quality ball-handling at lightning speed on the field, both these teams will be hand to stop even if reduced in numbers, and Night Patrol is only half the difficulty of stopping the PSA.
vs  Everyone's new favourite SWL Fun Police cleared the Chaos Dwarves easier than their win on penalties against Chaos, as Gabriel was finally recognised as legendary. They face the Macarbre Morticians entering in round three after their previous opponents got lost on the way to the morgue.
It's marked down as a 4:1 odds romp for the Fun Police, but the inducements on offer here, not to mention the full squad of dirty players, could be key to making it hard work for them, or even pulling off another great upset. Just how will the numbers game play out in these two teams with such different paths to winning it?
 vs  Necromentia get the pass this time for their first game entry against the goblins no one expected to make round three: Colour of Money, sent dwarfs packing without even taking the field, their High Elf opponents will wish they'd done the same with three dead and eventually cleared from the pitch with ten injuries.
The local rumour mill gives the Necromantia 5:1 favouritism, I wonder if odds like that don't just suit goblins down to the ground. Should what passes for coaching staff in the Goblin squad manage to avoid being threatened by their own little ones with sharp implements once more, this could be another massive upset in the making.
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Tremendous! The Colour of Money have made the third round, Terence, those Goblins coming good again, revelling in the great competition that is the Bob Borc Cup.
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The good Goblins are out though, Phillip, overtime just too much for them, and no one really wants to hear about those little ones.
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That's all anyone's talking about Terence! The Imperial court is completely aflame with the gossip.
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That may be the colour of money talking, fans, I apologise on behalf of our network. You can check out all the games you missed from the tournament listings and pop on into the #swl mind-meld if you want the inside gossip from the coaching staff themselves.
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Speaking of money, praise the Emperor! Sixteen teams remain, next week Eight. Who will it be? At least a couple of agile teams, perhaps our regular season champion, maybe some big beefy bash squads, and perhaps even a squad of rats strait from the Regions! Who knows, find out, watch the games, Bob Borc Cup! |
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Luohghcra
Joined: Nov 18, 2008
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Aug 25, 2016 - 03:47 |
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<Ricky d'Bono> Gooood Evening Sportsfans, and welcome back to SWL Grandstand.
<Pavel Stiffly> I can't believe they've given us another shot at this, Rick.
<Ricky d'Bono> Gift horse, Pavel. Don't question it. Anyhew, let's get straight into the action!
The Good
<Ricky d'Bono> This week, we have a few more matches to look at, with 32 intrepid teams facing off for Cup glory!
<Pavel Stiffly> There were some typically SWL matches among them, but the real gems were an upset by those barnstorming rats, and a closely fought elven scorefest.
<Ricky d'Bono> The Misery put on a miserable performance against the Meerkat, Pav.
<Pavel Stiffly> Well, I think we just saw a team on top form, the Meerkats showing both the talent of the players and their coach.
<Ricky d'Bono> Let's agree to disagree there, but I think we can safely say that very few people would have expected such a convincing victory.
<Pavel Stiffly> Compare the Meerkat have definitely declared themselves as contenders - not just in the cup, but for a future Premiership as well.
<Ricky d'Bono> That trip on the sideline, Pav - a completely amateur effort from the Misery.
<Pavel Stiffly> And not a mistake you want to make with rats around! That moment probably turned the game - the Meerkat went into the second half with a 1-0 lead, and receiving the ball!
<Ricky d'Bono> Shitty position for those Nurgle to be in. Outnumbered, and the rats with multiple scoring options left to them. I think we could see where the game was headed from here.
<Pavel Stiffly> Really just a matter of how many TD's could be scored before the final horn. I really loved the way the Meerkats turned it up in the second half, removing Misery players almost at will!
<Ricky d'Bono> No seriously injured though, those Misery lads are tough as old troll jerky.
<Pavel Stiffly> That's... disgusting, Rick. Anyway, the final score was a 2-0 schooling.
<Ricky d'Bono> Speed won out this round. I'd love to see them back it up against the other big Nurgle outfit.
<Pavel Stiffly> Hoo, that'd be one for the books!
<Ricky d'Bono> Speaking of speed - those elves!
<Pavel Stiffly> Now THAT was one for the books. Elvis were really unlucky to lose out in the end - all it took was one silly mistake and it was uphill from there.
<Ricky d'Bono> Yeah, the Drowboys were lucky to progress here, I think. No criticism to the Dallas coaching staff, but I think the High Elvis lads looked the goods on the day - they just couldn't capitalise.
<Pavel Stiffly> It was a truly thrilling game for the spectators though, a full 16 turns of dazzling agility and spectacular passes.
<Ricky d'Bono> Did we watch the same match? The Drowboys looked content to simply beat up their Higher counterparts for the entire first half. Granted it paid off with Elvis leaving the building well early, but it was hardly scintillating, Elven-style blood bowl.
<Pavel Stiffly> Well, the second half had some glorious moments though. Right up until that failed pickup from Michael Jackson...
<Ricky d'Bono> Followed by a complete fizzler of a wiz-
<Pavel Stiffly> A wizzler?
<Ricky d'Bono> Nah, that definitely wasn't a wizzler Pav.
<Pavel Stiffly> Yeah, you know, fizzle and wiz-
<Ricky d'Bono> Oh I know, but trust me. That was not a wizzler.
The Bad
<Pavel Stiffly> Right well. Time for some Special Albert, I guess.
<Foul Albert> Yeah, evenin' lads. I've got the Bad again, and boy, this one is a stinker. Now, 'everyone' loves a good Chaos team, right - all that hitting and blood and casual sociopathic fkn' mayhem. Fkn' ball? What's that? Then you got these Nurgle types - even bloody worse. Er, or better, dependin' on your pee-oh-vee. Put 'em together, you get more guts than a zombie slaughteryard, right?
FKN' WRONG!
This game shoulda been the one to slake the bloodlust of the fkn' masses. Instead we get two full 'alves, a whole extra period of 'injury' time, hah, and ONE miserable death. Yeah, both teams are carrying a couple of lads who'll need to rest next round, the poor dears, but c'mon. These teams cop some Elves? Humans? Death and dismemberment from arsehole to breakfast-time.
Typical fkn' pillowfight mentality. Them villains lot might as well apply to be a Sorority.
...Oh. Police won it, in the end. Guess they must've remembered the ball a bit more than the Glee lads. Whoopdey-fkn'-doo.
<Ricky d'Bono> Uh, thanks Albert. SWL Grandstand: Completely unbiased reporting!
<Foul Albert> Stow it, nancy. I got a dishonourable mention too. I dunno how the Asha'maniac lads muffed it against the Skink, but they did. Was nearly as bad as them Sphinxes last round. A tip for Coach Redmaul, yea? Anti-lizard play 101. Don't let a single fkn' skink alive, or they'll FK ya good!
The Ugly
<Pavel Stiffly> Now, the Ugly.
<Ricky d'Bono> Didn't we just have that?
<Pavel Stiffly> Albert's not that bad, Rick.
Anyway, there was one game that stood out as truly ugly this round.
Mexican Standoff 0 v 1 Colour of Money
Perennially beaten Mexican Standoff were once again at the receiving end of a complete smackdown - this time? By Goblins...
<Ricky d'Bono> Ahhh, that was a joy to watch.
<Pavel Stiffly> Colour of Money were absolutely clinical in handling the high elves this round. Their opening drive saw Fungus the Loon remove two elves for the match. Not to be outdone, living wall Dik Scrushy sent a journeyelf to meet his maker, and a mightily hurled bomb caught Mexican Blitzer Raphael square in the face.
<Ricky d'Bono> It was hard slather for the Elves from that point, but they did manage to delight their fans with a quick steal. Unfortunately that just resulted in a sideline brawl that saw another two badly hurt elves...
<Pavel Stiffly> Let's not forget that the Mexican's dished it out to the Money mob as well.
<Ricky d'Bono> 3 elves on the pitch before half time, Pav.
<Pavel Stiffly> Yes well. It did rather devolve into a muddy, bloody mess from that point. Rookie Looney Boner J. crossed the line with the ball for the goblins just before half time, and that was the only touchdown we saw all game.
<Ricky d'Bono> A truly ugly... half, really. I don't think we can count the second!
Anyway, that's it for us here at Grandstand for another week. If you think we missed your favourite moment from the last round, let us know @SWLGrndstnd. Thanks to those of you who messaged me personally, except @barrenotbar. Please stop! Until next time, thanks for listening! |
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ramchop
Joined: Oct 12, 2013
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Fringe Daily
Hooligan Terrorises High Street
Shoppers in the central city were shocked at the antics of an out of control thug on Thursday. The abnormaly large man initially hurled verbal abuse at the most well dressed of passers by. But things soon descended into violence.
When the thug was confronted by a cloaked figure, he launched into a brutal assault. Onlookers say the attack was relentless. A policeman was said to have stood by too fearful to intervene.
Eventually the attacker left the crumpled figure shouting "and you can stick your f***ing Bloodstone where the sun don't shine!"
The victim was soon taken away by paramedics. Witnesses say he smell strongly of excrement with a strange undertone of freshly baked bread. |
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tussock
Joined: May 29, 2011
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Aug 29, 2016 - 14:34 |
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An SWL first annual Bob Borc Cup preview, bought to you by the masters of fine ales, Oldbugman's Bucket Brews. Best booze you can buy in the Southern Wastes.
It's down to the final eight! Quarter Finals! The best of the best and the luckiest of the rest, in four must-see matches, eh, Terence!
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That's right, Phillip, and don't we have the works on them tonight.
Quarter Finals: FIGHT!
vs Public Service Announcement were too slick for the Nurgle in overtime and too tough for the Goblins the same. Compare the Meerkat have held Vampires at bay, murdered Nurgle, and befuddled Slann all without needing it.
They come together with nothing between them after some lingering pain to the PSA brings them down to the gutters. Both have overcome higher valued teams already, both have outstanding players in top form, both coaches handling their prospects well. The bookies are slightly favouring the big Chaos for the long game, but who knows after the first few blocks land.
Eau de Toilet, Atomica Droppa, Redgum's Revolutionaries, Wäŋa Warriors, Bribery and Corruption, Sacred Spawning of Sotek, New World Winers and Diners, Black as Death, Madness Mountain Misery, Creakland Raiders: only two of you could have been here!
vs SWL Fun Police simply cleared away any threat from the Undead, after it was anyone's game against big Chaos and returning Chaos Dwarfs. Our regular season Champions Slumbering Skink likewise power home through the Dark Elves, after big Dwarfs, and even little Humans pushed them harder, really finding that championship form now.
But here the form giants of the Southern Wastes meet in the Quarter Finals! This may well tease us as to the season 66 championship battle, both such strong threats for the Premier division. Just the slightest of favourites are the Nurgle, but everyone knows this game is either team's for the taking. Will this decide our winner, or leave them so broken as to not stand a chance next round, or indeed in the regular competition?
Macabre Morticians, Blackwater Glee Club, Large Head-On Colliders, Altered Perception, Daemon Ex Tesserae, Sphinxes From Mars, Asha'Maniac, Wildcard Nats: you probably would've stopped here anyway!
vs Autumn's Leaves serenely secured their victory late in a high-scoring game against the bigger Dark Elves, though not as high-scoring as beating the Skaven before. Griffon Gate Sentinels overcame the bigger Chaos killers, despite the pain the Ogres dished out to them, the insurance value of their team knows all about both matches.
You have to expect the Sentinels will be able to match scores with Autumn's Leaves here, and both teams are well capable of turning over the ball, what remains might just be down to the whimsey of Nuffle. But the bookies have the Woodies as 3:1 favourites, so maybe not!
Dallas Drowboys, High Elvis, Freezy Trees, Office Rats, Urban Nightmare, Chaos All-Sorts, Ogre-Ogre-Ogre: you could have been here!
vs Steaked served up the Amazons and the Wood Elves alike, though the latter struggled more with the interference of the crowd than the Dark Elves! Still, a win is a win in knockout. Necromentia meanwhile were physically punished as the little Goblins bought the pain their way, but held enough on pitch to secure a solid win. It must be said this is by far the easiest path to the quarters of any of the teams remaining.
Still, the damage suffered by the Necromantic team is slower to put back together than usual, leaving Steaked as a massive 5:1 favourite, and the younger team drooling all over the inducement lists they haven't seen for some time.
Port Macquarie Snowleopards, Wonga Wonga Whalekillers, Southern Warpstone Scavengers, Colour of Money, Mexican Standoff: this could have been you!
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Not to mention the teams who skipped out. How exciting! Can the mutants force the game long again, can the elves out-stall each other after the shoot out phase, how much do the Skinks want the first of this new trophy, can our fresh out of reggies rats continue their smashing run of form, and does anyone understand why the restaurateurs are talking about serving up dead people, Terence?
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It's like a metaphor, Phillip, don't worry too much about it, just know with Oldbugman's Bucket Brews, you too will find endless joy in watching lightly armoured teams try to outrun monstrous killing machines on these tiny fields with such angry spectators reaching in from the sides.
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Even without them, I'd say, who doesn't love watching Skaven teams get destroyed and win anyway.
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Remember our tournament listings, and there's word of a new season recruitment drive looking for more fresh talent for the Regionals as we head back to the regular round-robin play, against the smallest and worst of the teams that all went out first game here, after a short blooding period to check their fitness.
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Is that us sponsored by the league itself? We've been noticed! Haha. Marvellous. Oldbugman's, bringing the league together since Season 17. |
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tussock
Joined: May 29, 2011
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Sep 06, 2016 - 12:59 |
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An SWL first annual Bob Borc Cup preview, bought to you by the oldest and most firm sponsors the league has: Mr Whippy's Donuts. We love 'em, and there's more of that coming for Season 66!
Final Four, Semi Finals.
Terence? Give us the tale of the teams remaining in the Bob Borc Cup.
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That I will, Phillip, we lost our rising star Skavens, lost the champion Lizards, lost the lucky Necromantic, and even lost our premier High Elves. We're down to four.
Semi Finals: FIGHT!
vs Public Service Announcement meet Steaked.
Our returning giants of Chaos have overcome the Sacred Spawning of Sotek right out the gate, faced down the Bribery and Corruption at the heart of the SWL, worked hard to get past the stench of Eau de Toilet (who themselves laid our premier orcs low), and finally smashed the riotously in form Compare the Meerkat (who had a somewhat easier run, but still smashed some big Nurgs and everyone else they met).
The long-successful Dark Elves have stripped More than Ballgowns of their chance, tamed the Port Macquarie Snowleopards (after they took out some old champion Norse) and finally poisoned the path of Necromanteia (after they were damaged by such mean little Goblins!), but at no small cost.
Steaked are a damaged franchise, again, as quick as they'll be to rebuild, this isn't the strong premiership contenders that we were following not so long ago. Public Service Announcement are hot stuff, there's talk of them making the premier easily for season 67, and winning this game also, 2:1 favourites where it counts, not that you can count-out agility teams.
vs SWL Fun Police meet Autumn's Leaves.
Speaking of giants, old Papa Nurgle stopped the Large Head-On Colliders, barely caught up with the Blackwater Glee Club, penalised the Macabre Morticians, and then arrested the progress of the recently dominant Slumbering Skink (who may well remember the game a while, after nearly faltering against Human, Dwarf, and Dark Elf too, who in turn took out the premier Pro Elves).
Our Wood Elves are in premier with them for season 66, this is a team in top form, scoring freely, turning over the ball, and controlling the pace as needed. They showed out the Office Rats, handily beat the dangerous Dallas Drowboys, and saw off fellow premier contender Griffon Gate Sentinels (after they were hit hard by growing Chaos and brutal Ogres).
This is different territory for the Autumn's Leaves, as much as they'll love the agility-laden premier season 66, and have flourished in this knockout, here waits the SWL Fun Police, and they're not afraid to pull over the quick ones. It used to be a weakness of the team, but they've grown in all the right places, and the 3:1 favouritism over these tremendous Woodies is well founded. Still, agile teams, who knows.
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I counted 39 teams have played in the Bob Borc Cup, Terence, 27 knocked out in their first game, 4 with just a single win, 5 with two wins, 2 knocked out after three wins, and the 4 remaining, elves with three wins, and bash with four. Will the final be elf-ball madness, or claw central? All these teams are clearly in top form, it must be anyone's win.
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If any team can overcome the odds of sturdy old teams loaded with great skills, it's the dodgy delights presented by the best elf teams in the business. Despite the constant losses on the pitch, it's they who rebound time and again to produce magnificent play after play. People say knockouts favour the both of them, by attrition for one, and by scoring freely whenever they pick up the ball for the other. They'll all need the blessing of more than our sponsors.
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Too much of our sponsor's product might see them even slow down! Mr Whippy's Donuts. Who can stop at four? We want more! Remember the Donut Boys, eh.
And don't forget our tournament listings, still time to get in on the new season coming regular season there's three new teams in already, playing up a storm, and at least forty-six teams looking likely already for season 66. Another few would suit the league just fine! |
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Luohghcra
Joined: Nov 18, 2008
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Sep 07, 2016 - 04:34 |
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<Ricky d'Bono> Gooood Evening Sportsfans, and welcome back to SWL Grandstand! What a week we've had...
<Pavel Stiffly> I know! The Meerkat won again!
<Ricky d'Bono> Against vamps Pav, I don't think that counts. Anyway, I was talking about the draw for the Quarter finals! Some thrilling matchups coming up.
<Pavel Stiffly> Before we go there, let's look at last week's cup matches!
The Good
<Ricky d'Bono> The competition is just getting hotter, and this week we had a number of contenders for the highlights reel.
<Pavel Stiffly> More SWL gold indeed. The big story was the Sentinels vs Nightmare mat- Wait, I thought we were agreed on Meerkat v Diners?
<Ricky d'Bono> That's right, the Sentinels! With their High Elven compatriots knocked out in the last round, all eyes were on the Griffon Gate Sentinels.
<Pavel Stiffly> Yeah but the Meerkat dismantled those Vamps!
<Ricky d'Bono> That's right Pav, I think everyone expected more from the Nightmare - especially their coach!
<Pavel Stiffly> I mean, the scoreline was close, but the way those rats pla-
<Ricky d'Bono> The blood certainly flowed, but the Elves just kept on getting at that ball! Coach Carl has shown that he can really elf it up - I'm sure coaches of the fair races will be adding pages to their playbooks after watching that match.
<Pavel Stiffly> *incoherent, muffled shouting*
<Ricky d'Bono> I'm so glad you asked, Pav. I really DO think that the Sentinels can go all the way. Perhaps we'll finally see some High Elves achieve something in the SWL?
<Pavel Stiffly> ...
<Ricky d'Bono> The game certainly started poorly for the Sentinels, with the Chaos followers opening up on the Elves. Some fumbling with the ball didn't help, and the Nightmare managed a steal and the first point of the match.
<Pavel Stiffly> ...!
<Ricky d'Bono> That's right, Iolas stepped up and showed his now legendary poise, helping his team level it up. Then, with time running down, the Sentinels exploited a huge gap in the Chaos line, screening the ball so that Iolas could stroll in and scoop it up a short run from the endzone.
<Pavel Stiffly> *silence*
<Ricky d'Bono> Yeah, pivotal moment in the game that. Sentinels 2, Nightmare 1 at halftime - but Sentinels were leaving the pitch in droves. The Nightmare drive in the second half was textbook grind, and an overtime finish that favoured the Chaos was looking more than likely. With a mere 5 elves left, however, Coach Wex was keen to play the game out in regular time and get home in time for the latest episode of his favourite Cabaldrama - the Bashelorette.
With Iolas on the pitch though, nothing is locked in, and sure enough he was pivotal in yet ANOTHER Sentinel TD, gifting the ball to rookie catcher Intevar for the 3rd time. He backed that up with a stunning leap-blitz on the ballcarrier, and the Nightmare were unable to recover the ball in time to score before the final buzzer.
3 - 2 victory to the Sentinels!
<Pavel Stiffly> *static, followed by a clunking 'pop'* I can't believe you had them turn my mic off.
<Ricky d'Bono> Shut up Pav.
The Bad
<Foul Albert> You two should get a fkn' room, I got dogs more discreet.
Oh look, I've been given the Bad again. Fkn' amazin'.
And the Nurgle again? This is getting fkn' tedious.
*Long exhalation with a hint of death-rattle*
Alright, the Fun Police. Yeah, they're big and scary and have fkn' tentacles wot like to probe places you'd rather they didn't.
But that's no reason to lay down and take it. I've seen teams not only take it, but get right back up and ask for more. And win the fkn' game in the process!
Well, the Morticians fkn' took it alright - laid right on down and spread 'em too. I honestly expected better from that lot, I mean you got a team of fine, upstanding folk, pillars of the Unliving Community right? Solid types, wear good thick-soled boots.
They starts out fine too, some good knocks and kicks. Then it all sort of fall apart, like someone hadn't been keeping the spells up and maybe Doc's stitching isn't as good as it used to be since that unfortunate Golem incident.
Yeah, they fkn' lay down alright. And them Police just steamroll over the top, giving a little fondle on the way. Fkn' disgraceful.
<Ricky d'Bono> So, any comments on the game itself? Any plays that stood out?
<Foul Albert> You fkn' got my comments on the game. Kick off, Morticians lay down, Police roll over them. Fkn' done.
<Ricky d'Bono> Oooookay, well, the final score was 2-0 to the Fun Police! Can anyone stop a Nurgle team in full juggernaut mode? Time will tell!
The Ugly
<Pavel Stiffly> This was a tough call this time around.
<Ricky d'Bono> There weren't any matches that stood out as being truly ugly in terms of injuries, but for sheer casual mayhem, we once again have the Goblins.
<Pavel Stiffly> That's right, it's...
Necromanteia 3 v 1 Colour of Money
The more-successful than anyone expected Gobbos have finally met their match.
<Ricky d'Bono> Yep, in the team of wolfmen and lab experiments who have thus far had the easiest run in the cup by a Middenheim mile.
<Pavel Stiffly> How long is that exactly?
<Ricky d'Bono> While they eventually lost out on the scoreboard, the Goblins really delighted where it truly counts - the casualty box! The sheer spectacle of massive leaden balls being tossed around the pitch was delightful!
<Pavel Stiffly> And then there were the ball-and-chains!
<Ricky d'Bono> Cheap laughs now, Pav?
<Pavel Stiffly> You turned my mic off!
<Ricky d'Bono> Somebody call the apothecary, I think my colleague is still feeling the burn.
Join us tomorrow for our special Finals edition of Grandstand! We have the highlights from a thrilling quarter final, and a special guest giving us the scoop on the top 4. As always, if you have something to say, hit us up on @SWLGrndstnd Until next time, thanks for listening! |
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tussock
Joined: May 29, 2011
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Sep 12, 2016 - 09:50 |
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An SWL first annual Bob Borc Cup preview, bought to you by kind donations from all our viewers. Thanks Mum!
The Bob Borc Cup.
Terence, it's just so exciting. Everyone's screaming for blood, even more so than the gruesome display of the semi finals. Who will the Bob Borc Cup go to?
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Phillip, it won't be the Chaos who lit up stadiums with their shining return to the SWL, it won't be the Wood Elves who are in the best form of their long career despite rising injuries.
Bob Borc Cup: FINISH HIM!
vs SWL Fun Police meet Steaked.
The Nurgs have had a hard road, now aiming for their sixth straight victory, including against current and former premier winners and fellow contenders for season 66. But they have grown all the stronger for it, and are living up to their goal of encouraging the cycle of teams at the top by cycling through the players of the teams at the top!
The Dark Elves were hurt in premier 65, their last game has hurt them again. Four strait wins though, and word from the camp is they love the pain, brings out the best in the players that are left on pitch. No doubt, in this, the big pressure cooker, they are as ready as anyone to take the heat, and what heat it will be.
SWL Fun Police are huge favourites, 9 to 1 odds over Steaked, the biggest of the whole competition, and it must be recalled only a handful of upsets have gone against the bookies. Will this be the great upset everyone has been waiting for? Will this near-perfect Nurgle team wilt under the fearless knife of head chef Filleted? It's happened before, twice, just never at such large odds.
On inducements, there will be plenty, can the Fun Police handle so many threats at once?
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They have so far, Terence. Former champions have been put aside, great clawsome monstrosities have been successfully dodged, a Goblin team even won a game. From massive score lines to one-nil grinds, from massive casualty counts (especially for those Goblins!) to pushy pillow fights, the Cup has had it all. Now it has one more, both teams are obviously capable of taking it, despite the rampant favouritism for those giant Nurgle worshippers.
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These Nurgs are the biggest team the Southern Wastes has seen for a good few seasons now, only the legends of Intoxicated Mayhem managed quite this sort of roster recently, and even them not in their last couple of active seasons. They've been this close before, and fumbled it twice.
It's one of the most regular giant killers lined up against them though, Phillip, and they'll know the last game the Wood Elves were a dodge or two from tying up an easy victory in regular time. If the blessings that snatched an overtime victory have any juice left, Steaked will win their first top-tier title.
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Thanks again, Mum. Thanks to the Southern Wastes League administration, thanks to OldBugman's Bucket Brews, thanks to Mr Whippy's Donuts, thanks to all the Cabalvision providers, thanks to you our viewers on this extended series of the SWL preview show. If we've forgotten any sponsors, it's because you forgot to pay us on time.
The last draft for the regular season round-robin divisions is on, a few poorly represented rosters may still be accepted, fans across the wastes are on edge for not just this game but the whole new regular season. New rivalries, some teams still growing strong, some teams at their peak, some teams rebuilding, and a few starting out as always with just a few games under their coaching staff, aiming to create their own legend in the SWL. Good luck to them all. |
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Luohghcra
Joined: Nov 18, 2008
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| Posted:
Sep 13, 2016 - 05:01 |
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<Ricky d'Bono> Gooood Evening Sportsfans, and welcome to a special Finals Edition of Grandstand.
<Pavel Stiffly> That's right Rick, it's down to the pointy end of the competition and boy is it a sharp one!
<Ricky d'Bono> 8 teams went into the finals, and now just two remain. Before we get to that epic final round matchup, however...
<Pavel Stiffly> Yeah, there have been some absolutely massive matchups in the last two rounds, Rick. The random draw has been incredibly kind to the fans.
<Ricky d'Bono> You aren't wrong there. Lets have a look at the Quarter finals first up.
The Quarter Finals
<Ricky d'Bono> We saw plenty of good, bad AND ugly here, often in the same match. Your precious Meerkats finally burnt out.
<Pavel Stiffly> I don't want to talk about it!
<Ricky d'Bono> Well I do! Coach Daudy went into this one with the favoured team, and he has shown in the past that he can beat Coach Tomay. PSA were in near-prem level performance mode, and proved too hard for the Meerkat to beat.
<Pavel Stiffly> It was a valiant struggle! The Chaos whelps only just won!
<Ricky d'Bono> The rats spent all their time trying to foul warriors and fall over their own tails, Pav. PSA were in a different class. Speaking of class...
<Foul Albert> Ooh, what a burn. Fkn' nancy boy.
<Pavel Stiffly> Skink vs Police up next.
<Foul Albert> And another fkn' capitulation. This shoulda been the final before the final, but it turned into another game o' chicken, and the Fun Police win that one every fkn' time.
<Ricky d'Bono> I think we all expected a bit more from the match, but the Nurgle kill team did show they can match it against even 7 time champions.
<Pavel Stiffly> Isn't it 8 now?
<Ricky d'Bono> Who the hell knows?
<Foul Albert> Ooh, what about them Steaked lads then? Keep getting grilled, keep fkn' winning.
<Pavel Stiffly> One of the bigger success stories of the Cup, that's for sure.
<Ricky d'Bono> I think they've lucked out more than anything. In this instance they were playing the team with the easiest ride through the cup, and even then it was a near thing.
<Pavel Stiffly> Elves only need a near thing, Rick, you should know that better than anyone.
<Ricky d'Bono> Good elves know how to defend without ending up in a box, Pav.
<Foul Albert> They got to be doin' something fkn' right, and for me, it's pleasin' the fkn' fans. Big scoreline, big cas count. Fans dun't fkn' care where the blood comes from.
<Pavel Stiffly> And finally, the last great hope of Asur - the Sentinels - fell down at the second-to-last post.
<Ricky d'Bono> How good were the Leaves though?
<Pavel Stiffly> Yeah, the Sentinels put up a spirited defense in the dying moments of the game but couldn't beat off the Woodies.
<Foul Albert> Elves beating off Woodies? I think I saw that movie.
<Ricky d'Bono> ...
The Semi Finals
<Foul Albert> Fkn' woodies? Beating off? That one was wide fkn' open. Much like the elves in that flick!
<Ricky d'Bono> Soooo, the Semis then!
<Pavel Stiffly> Oh yeah, that random draw delivered once again. The elves got split up, one apiece for the chaotic meatgrinders.
<Foul Albert> Bookies was posting good odds for an all chaos punch up in the finals when that draw dropped.
<Ricky d'Bono> Oh yes, we could very well have had an all bash or all finesse final.
<Pavel Stiffly> First up was Fun Police vs Autumn's Leaves. The Police started to show some cracks here, Rick.
<Ricky d'Bono> They've traditionally struggled against elves, and have spent the last few seasons working hard to correct that weakness. This game showed they still have some ways to go.
<Foul Albert> I reckon it was the elveses game to fkn' lose. Too much time faffing about near the endzone, not enough scoring.
<Pavel Stiffly> I think you can hardly blame them for wanting to stay out of harms way.
<Foul Albert> Didn't do em much fkn' good anyways. Elves is always going to break, especially when they're up against a team like the fkn' Police. Trick is to score more, not stand around holdin' the ball like a fkn' muppet.
<Ricky d'Bono> Regardless of the time spent 'faffing about', the teams went into the second half level on the scoreboard, but miles apart in terms of numbers.
<Foul Albert> Exactly what I'm fkn' saying. Even with half a team on the pitch though, the Leaves still fkn' stole the ball, only to stand around with their fkn' thumbs up their fkn' bums. No prizes for guessing what came next.
<Pavel Stiffly> A lost ball and more bloody smears on the pitch.
<Ricky d'Bono> It was certainly a thrilling semi-final match though, but nothing in comparison to PSA vs Steaked.
<Foul Albert> This one was over at fkn' half time, and then somehow went to fkn' OT.
<Pavel Stiffly> I'm still not sure how Steaked managed to win.
<Ricky d'Bono> Sheer elven brilliance, of course!
<Foul Albert> Elven fkn' bullsh-
<Pavel Stiffly> Yes! It was certainly a brilliant end to a thrilling match.
<Ricky d'Bono> Special mention must go to Filleted. I think he had the game of his life out there, and more or less singlehandedly kept his team in the hunt.
<Foul Albert> First half was your typical fkn' chaos grind. 1-0, elves looking battered. Second half saw more of the same - elves fumbling, getting battered. Then Filleted turned it on and the game changed sharpish, with the Steaked lads finally showin' some fkn' class.
<Pavel Stiffly> When that ball popped free, PSA were well out of position, and despite a blazingly sunny day, the ball sailed right down the pitch into the waiting arms of Butterflied.
<Ricky d'Bono> Gloriously cheeky of him to spend the time signing autographs on the sideline too.
<Pavel Stiffly> 1-1, but the Chaos had some time to win.
<Foul Albert> And then they fkn' muffed it. Not to worry, Coach Daudy says. We get the ball in Over time!
And then they fkn' muffed it. Again!
<Pavel Stiffly> Special mention to Eldril there. His quick thinking forced a handoff with a view to pass and catch in the endzone, but Bulldozer fumbled a critical catch.
<Ricky d'Bono> 5 elves remaining to line up against the Public Service menace, but among them were Steaked - of the timely leap-in-and-stab! - and more-elf-than-elf Boned.
<Foul Albert> Otherwise known as "pick it up and chuck it no matter how many mutant fkn' goat-things are slobberin' on me new boots".
<Pavel Stiffly> Kudos to Butterflied though, who caught a tough catch in a high pressure moment.
<Ricky d'Bono> And then it was all over bar the dodging. And the snarling, bellowing, and inevitably fruitless scrambling to defend by the PSA mutants.
<Pavel Stiffly> A completely thrilling overtime victory.
So, it is down to two. Steaked v Fun Police.
<Ricky d'Bono> Will the Police overcome their elven rivals? Will Steaked manage to pull off the high-percentage play once again?
Either way, it'll be a star-studded experience in the First Annual Bob Borc Cup Final. Join us next week for our thoughts on the big game, as well as our favourite moments from the competition.
As always, if you have something to say, hit us up on @SWLGrndstnd. Until next time, thanks for listening! |
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cdwat
Joined: Oct 29, 2013
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Sep 19, 2016 - 10:01 |
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Welcome once again to the awarding of the medal for
The Hero of HEROES: SWL 65.
The voting this season was much more straightforward, with one candidate standing clearly above the others.
Our winner wound back the clock in SWL 65 to star as the primary receiver and scorer for his team, a role he hadn't played since debuting in SWL 58.
Whilst he scored 8 touchdowns, he also was fierce on defence, repeatedly retrieving the ball from the opposition. Not being content with that, he also filled in as a makeshift thrower when the need arose. SWL 65 saw our winner rise to the top of the HEROES all-time leaderboards for both SPP and Touchdowns.
Ladies and gentlemen, the winner of the Hero of HEROES award for Season 65, is:
Iolas
of the Griffon Gate Sentinels.
 
Ladies and gentlemen, please join me in a toast to the Hero of HEROES for Season 65, Iolas.
Head over to the HEROES page to see all the medalists, updated Leaderboards and much more! |
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Proud member of the SWL HEROES
Bio template here. |
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DrDiscoStu
Joined: Feb 20, 2006
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| Posted:
Sep 20, 2016 - 01:21 |
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Grod
Joined: Sep 30, 2003
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| Posted:
Sep 20, 2016 - 11:23 |
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Heer yay heer yay,
An Fringe Smack comenceth! Teams have come from the 4 corners to challenge for the Fringe Toilet Bowl!
The first matchup is Technically Minded vs Morwegian. While the Dwarves have a massive TV advantage and some titles under their belt, the Morwegian's have one of the craftiest coaches around and a LOT of inducements. Expect a close match.
The second matchup is Same Again vs Grey Isle Gryphon. Similar TV teams both solidly coached. Either can win, but I am tipping the monkeys to "grab" this one. |
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I am so clever that sometimes I don't understand a single word of what I am saying.
Oscar Wilde
Last edited by Grod on %b %20, %2016 - %12:%Sep; edited 1 time in total |
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m0gw41
Joined: Jun 12, 2012
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| Posted:
Sep 20, 2016 - 11:49 |
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From the Southern Wastes Poetry Journal's Sports Section:
Coach m0gw41's haiku review of the Technically Minded Conference:
Compare the Meerkat:
Squishy rats die fast
but score quickly nonetheless.
They will be up there
New World Winers and Diners:
Thirsty, thirsty Vamps,
they're dicing or being diced
Who knows where they place?
Office Rats:
More rats line up next
Almost group minnows will be
smashed to smithereens
Public Service Announcement:
Nasty looking chaps
with freaks and killers galore.
Probably winners.
Redgum's Revolutionaries:
Tiny little Pact,
so young and fresh faced they are,
gonna get battered
Steaked:
The cup winners fall,
niggles and all but the coach
is a lucky one.
Urban Nightmare:
The horror, they cry,
as they see the cpombers
but win they will not.
White Fluffy Stuff:
Such agile dead guys
but high elves they cannot be;
mid table beckons. |
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tussock
Joined: May 29, 2011
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| Posted:
Sep 22, 2016 - 07:41 |
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The fans have been on the edge of their seats, waiting for confirmed matches to show up, and now the draw is mostly complete, the regular season begins anew!
 An SWL season 66 Premier preview, bought to you by our Bob Borc Cup winning franchise: Steaked, delivering only the greatest feasts of classical elven (CENSORED) since season 57. A generous donation to our network by Hubris Rakarth after he placed double his match fee on the dark elves to win, and now apparently owns all the local betting agencies.
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Pillip, I don't know what they were thinking giving elves odds that long, even goblins can win one in three with a spot of luck. You have to wonder if bribery and corruption had a part to play.
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It's all about the colour of money, Terence, and that donation is just right! Previews?
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What a premier division, standing proudly atop the biggest, meanest, and most highly skilled set of teams that have graced the Southern Wastes with their presence in a long time. Only a handful of smaller teams remain, none of them here at the top.
SWL Fun Police had Hubris take them out of the Bob Borc Cup final (in great form), after they earned the last spot into premier with their season 65 conference play, tying for the top spot and coming in second on a countback. In season 64 the premier elves beat them regularly, but this is a more skilled team ready to cut those agile plays down, with growing confidence in the quick return plays. Gangrenous Gabriel will be looking to make his mark on the opposition players and record books once more, in this the team's 12th season.
Rating: 246, 250k banked, my how they've grown. Their first match will be a delight for them, the reigning premiers. If they can do some lasting damage straight away, this should their premier season to lose, barring those little half-gaps that the elf stars and Wizard spells might just keep finding their way through.
Slumbering Skink are just those premiers. Their last game in the Bob Borc Cup was the Fun Police, and they're still feeling the pain, now they get a repeat. This is an incredible squad, capably lead by Shntyeooa and Llstrr, with growing strength despite the constant rigours of the top division. Superlatives don't do them justice; fantastic team, brilliantly coached, deservedly at the top. Been here forever, everyone wants the Nurgs to murder them horribly.
Rating: 220, millions banked, player replacement for the team's cycle of rookie Saurus has barely touched their great treasury, and all the Skinks are veterans with one or more premier rings. The elves struggle with this set up, so much speed, such tight defence on the ball, and such a sturdy group of power surrounding it all. Four in a row?
 Wäŋa Warriors missed the season 65 premiership on a countback, the loss to the Skink was just so close, but that's Premier. Another devastating team with near-unbeatable defence and still growing stronger with youth on their side, only real difficultly is in containing the fastest leapers, and premier is full of them. Could easily win this, and if they don't then have to be expected to stay up for another shot next season, and another after that, growing in strength all the time.
Rating: 214, a million banked, they've won before, they'll almost certainly win again at some point, superstars galore, if they stick at it this could well be the next legend orcs to make the hall of fame, still young for greenskins in just their 13th season, good luck to them, get a few late goblin throws over and win this one.
Altered Perception have rocketed up to the premier division in just their 3rd regular season, 4th overall. Elf teams like this have never taken the title, though they have come very, very close and these dark elves have outstanding form. It must be said, they've had recent losses, this isn't the same team that earned it's way to the premier. Key players remain, they could well beat all the elves, but how do they get past the giants? We may just find out.
Rating: 200, 150k banked, this should be a good lesson in just what direction the team training takes it in future. They could remain in premier, wins not out of reach, even the title, but another round of easier wins down in conferences may turn them into the sort of giants that can dominate even up here.
Autumn's Leaves are growing in confidence and capability, if not in salaries paid in their 13th season. Rapid played turnover is what this team simply lives with as it's motto, and they're getting the job done, both in season 65 to be here and more recently in the Bob Borc Cup, where they almost went all the way. They have what it takes to win, they are in top form, they have to be a threat for premier with players unusually hard to contain even by the standards of agile teams.
Rating: 199, 300k in the bank, unless they decide to go without a replacement treeman, a brave move indeed against the hitting power up here. This will test them, they're clearly a squad to dominate against the Conference squads now, and it could be said there's a couple up here with them, can they also win a few against the greats?
 Daemon Ex Tesserae are in for their second trip to premier, with a much better core of players than the first run, and the usual professional rotation of players through the rest of the team. Could cause havoc, upset any of the big boys, beat any of the other agile squads here, so much speed and agility ready to pounce on the slightest of positioning errors.
Rating: 197, 200k banked, great players, good team, top coach, is it enough for premier? They'll surely win some games, who against could well determine our final winner. I wouldn't put winning it all past them if the play runs their way, wouldn't take a big opening.
Griffon Gate Sentinels are risen from the ashes of their brutal season 62 premier, in this their 15th season. There's only seven regular players in the team currently, facing constant player turnover, with Iolas holding down so much of the workload, but that core is solid and Iolas would be underestimated at the peril of their opponents. They've had a good run to get here, I think this will be an end of it, they really need another good threat to survive a while to contest the premier strongly.
Rating: 188, 200k banked, not the only team lacking a kicker up here, but the only one relying on journeymen to make up numbers on a regular basis. Steaked showed everyone elves can win big games with a team like this, but the odds aren't great for any particular team to do it again.
 Freezy Trees made the top of the struggler's conference last season, and earned their place in the premier. They've traditionally done very well against agile squads, and managed to tie up big hitters with sharp use of star players and wizardry, which they'll have access to aplenty here in season 66 Premier. It's their 1st visit in their 10th season, you have to expect them to find it tough, but they've beaten the likes that are up here before and will be planning how to repeat that every single game.
Rating: 182, 400k in the bank, it's almost traditional for the lowest budget entry into premier to come last. It wouldn't surprise me if this proud bunch saw that tradition skip a season on their way back to the conferences. Good luck to them.
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Even those smaller teams are much larger than many who've made it premier in recent seasons, aren't they Terence? The Sentinels are better off than their last journey up, there's nothing you'd call a small team. Those Fun Police are massive, sure, the Skink and Warriors devastating teams, but for agile squads it doesn't get much better.
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Right you are, Phillip, and while they'll all enjoy good inducements against those giants, they may just struggle to reliably beat each other to stay in contention if they do grab some cheeky wins up there. This whole season is anyone's, so many powerful threats even for teams that only have the one, and no shortage of coaching talent. The tiniest of mistakes from players and coach calls alike will turn this whole thing on its head, let alone a day or two of blood from the Fun Police, or the Warriors.
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Or the elves, Terence, some of them are cold killers, not to mention that great beast of a Snow Troll, and rumours of Icepelt Hammerblow have even been floated. Hubris, the Prince, Eldril, there's quite a lot of rumours.
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It's the coach's choice on the day that matters, the preening stars can brag all they want, I wouldn't listen until they step on the field.
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Other than Hubris, if you'll remember our sponsor, Terence.
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Oh, yes, well, Hubris Rakarth is an exception of course. Genius of the Bob Borc Cup, can he add a Premier division shocker to his list of great victories?
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Of course he can, Terence, see you all at the games, on Cabalvision, the #swl mind-meld for gossip, the tournament listings for replays and matches to come, what a season we have brewing, 2 Rock, 2 Scissors, 4 Paper, can Slumbering Skink possibly hold on to take all four premier seasons in 2516? Keep watching as the legends of SWL current and future decide their fate. |
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DrDiscoStu
Joined: Feb 20, 2006
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Sep 22, 2016 - 13:27 |
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The Following is a transcript from Coach DDS's latest press conference interview
Intoxicated Mayhem making the hall of fame is an utter travesty! We are the only Orc side worthy of getting there. We won Prem! What have Mayhem ever done? Set some record for highest TV to choke rate? I don't think so!! The Fun Police have them well covered.
Without a doubt, me and the Warriors should have been the ones to be inducted. Those on the Hall of Fame committee are a bunch of hacks. Luo has never won anything. Tomay is living on the glory of the past. Hacks!!! They are just jealous, they know in their bitter twisted hearts that I am a blood bowl genius.
A complete and utter joke. It wasn't just the first Orcs prem win, it was the first time that a coach had won in their first prem season! Hmmm... except perhaps for season 1... *inaudible mumbling commences* |
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Check out my fishing and camping blog.
The Black Pearl Bounty-Board.
GUARD CONQUERS ALL! |
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m0gw41
Joined: Jun 12, 2012
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| Posted:
Sep 22, 2016 - 17:04 |
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Excerpt from the fine food and thrall magazine "Sanguinem":
Thrall of Week: Lofty
A vintage thrall, 33 games old; clean, limpid medium pink, quite rich, a really lovely colour. A touch of leather on the nose, slightly exotic, stylish and very expressive.
A bold iron taste leads on the palate, with gamey overtones, rich and quite buttery. Very good balance, albeit slighty delicate, great persistence, very good future.
One to savour late in a meal. |
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Last edited by m0gw41 on %b %23, %2016 - %16:%Sep; edited 2 times in total |
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