theopacman
Joined: Jan 26, 2004
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Dec 30, 2004 - 02:31 |
 
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The rumor mill is buzzing already in these early days of the SWL season 8
This just in from everyones favourite party werewolf Rage Bloodcry
In the wake of the shock 1-3 loss of the South runners up in season 7 ,the Fyord Frollikars, to the relative new boyz on the block Black water down.
One of the stars of season 7 Valgard 'hanse' Greycloak had a horror day
first failing to block a Black Orc with no fewer than 3 players around him in support he also went down despite no one even seeing the Black Orc make contact.Tghis resulted in Black water going ahead 2-1.
Still plenty of time left, BUT the next kick off The Frollikars race forward leaving Valgard in the backfield, only to turn and see him sitting in the KO box getting stuck into the post match Keg....with a Golden stein!!!!
again the Water scored despite some heroics from Aelfgar and the day was lost 3-1
Valgard when questioned later had this to say in his defence "What gam, I'm a little hazy on it I'm afraid" He then walked off with a trail of bearers carrying large chests behind him.
Aelfgar had this to say " The only positive is that what Valgard said pre match will certainly help sell my autobiography "
grrrrrr if i were the coach i would put him on the LOS in the Frollikars next match vs the Archfiends of Atrocity and let him try and strike a deal with one of those dead 'ard mummies. |
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ozjesting
Joined: Jan 27, 2004
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Dec 29, 2004 - 14:21 |
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First off...WOW! What a great thing you have done Snorri!!! Stunning work to bring back the Awards! Thank you SOOOOO much.
But I would have a look at the Silver Boomerang catagory...Baglock had 9 completions indeed...for a total of 4ps...me thinks he is chucking backwards for easy SPPs  Not the stuff Twahnlows are made of. Maybe a calculation like you did for the silver fist...completions divided by total squares...Boral of the Obsidian raiders with 6 completions for 25squares strikes me as a more deserving winner.
Just a thougt...again mate WELL DONE! Looking forward to going for some Gold in Premier this season! |
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Say GO AWAY to CuddleBunny! |
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Snorri
Joined: Jun 07, 2004
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Dec 28, 2004 - 09:38 |
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After getting itself lost on a walkabout for a while, the Twahnlow Awards Party has finally made its way back to town!
It has been a long while, some of the old awards have been eaten by voracious kangaroos and some new ones were found on walkabout. They've also all been cheesily retarnished with a fresh coat of gold and silver paint (gold for premier awards and silver for conference awards).
Bob kicks his gobbo lackeys carrying the prestigous trophies up onto centre stage to begin da ceremonies.
Startin' with the dead 'ard blokes before they get too drunk and destroy the party, we have a couple of new awards. The Fists are now awarded to the player with the highest block/casualty ratio in recognition of his lethal and specialised talents (min. 3 casualties!) while the Knuckles are awarded to the brawler who just can't restrain himself from beating the nearest thing to a pulp (highest casualties!) and is only awarded if that player does not already hold the coveted Fists.
This year the Golden Fists is awarded to Riff Boulderbrother of the Southside Stone Smashers. The Silver Fists go to Horse Head of the Black Crowes. Not often were both these players thrown into the fray, but lethal they were with a 4.66 blocks per casualty ratio!
Many Knuckles to go around this season. With 5 casualties apiece, a set of Golden Knuckles are awarded to Durandal and Shamino of the Warlizards and Grak Redeye of the Southside Smashers. Tied on 7 casualties for the season, the Silver Knuckles go to the Undertaker from Smash Down and Kylie Minogue from the Aussie Crawlers.
For the most number of blocks, the coveted Golden Shield is to be shared by Shamino of the Warlizards and Slilrl of Slumbering Skink. No doubt there'll be a furious chicken scratch for actual posession of the trophy. Also looks like Shamino could be shaping up as a favourite for the coveted Twahnlow's. In the conferences, there had to be no doubt, the Silver Shield goes to Unger Van Kleiber of the Angry Asgardians as soon as someone is able to calm him down a little.
To celebrate the most infamous of the league, the awards for excessive fouling are dominated by the Khemri lackeys of the league. In the premier division, the Golden Boot goes to Edward Worraker of Gumbeast united with an obscene 16 fouls for the season. The Silver Boot goes to the Khemri pair of Ktat Ki of Metibe and Scotty 2 Hotty of Smack Down with 12 fouls apiece.
It seems that this season we have not a single player holding his hand up (pardon the pun) for the Golden Glove awarded to the best interceptor in premiers. A whole season and not a single intercept! This probably says alot about the safe bash and run style of play that currently seems to be dominating. In the conferences however, a few Silver Gloves are to be awarded to Daisy and Ramsey of Beasts of Bowl, Nalthen Stonecrafter of Brothers in Bloodbowl, Red Noggin of the Karaz Krasherz and Spire Hellhound of the Southern Waste Warriors - each with one intercept apiece for the season.
Another new award, the Golden Boomerang goes to the player with the most completions. This season it goes to Adam Hawkin Yardley of Carlton United with seven completions. Maybe he's finally steppin into those boots left behind by Skullface. The Silver Boomerang goes to Baglok of Damage Incorporation with nine completions!
Adding to his collection Adam Hawkin Yardley of Carlton United also runs away with the award for the greatest yards gained from passing, the Golden Arrow. He stole that one with a massive tally of 49 yards, a full 26 clear from his nearest competitor. In the conferences, the Silver Arrow goes to Andrew Johns of Peno Pancakes with a tally of 30 yards. Good Job!
The Golden Slipper (for the most yards gained carrying the ball) goes to Thshltreeaay of Slumbering Skinks with a tally of 95 yards. Always a tough ask to steal this award away from the all conquering skinks. The Silver Slipper go to Baglok of Damage Incorporation with a massive 136 yards gained. Pretty damn good for an orc.
For the most touchdowns in the season, the Golden Ball goes once again to Lord Malice of Lords of War despite stiff competition from the skink Speedy (Warlizards) before he ran into an untimely end. The Silver Ball goes to Blax Landric of Blue Mountain Dragons (with 7 touchtdowns) as he inches ever closer to legend status!
And finally, the stars of the league this season! The Golden Star goes to Leif 'Rabbo' Svensson of Gumbeast United with 26 spps.. The Silver Star goes to
Jason Vorhees of the Creepers with 34 spps! Both good all round efforts.
For now, we skip to a quick break so the party can rage a bit....tune in again in a weeks time once the party starts winding down for the final award - The Twahnlow Medal awarded to best and fairest in the Premier Division.
Dont forget to boast to the world about your player's trophies in the players bio's. |
Last edited by Snorri on %b %22, %2005 - %15:%Jan; edited 6 times in total |
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ClayInfinity
Joined: Aug 15, 2003
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Dec 27, 2004 - 09:52 |
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Sorry Mully, no...
I think he was going to Perth for his Xmas Hols... not sure, but I know his wife is from there... |
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Mully
Joined: Aug 02, 2003
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Dec 26, 2004 - 17:21 |
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Anyone heard from Sonof Sharkboy lately?
Hes been gone for quite a bit |
_________________
Owner of the REAL Larson
Come join the CCC League |
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DaemonicLazoth
Joined: Jul 18, 2004
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Dec 24, 2004 - 03:28 |
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And the Destroyers will gladly accept the challange so they can continue their rampage of destruction. For those that would play us know that we will maim and kill those who would field against us. |
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Never mess with a invisible immovable rod at groin height |
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theopacman
Joined: Jan 26, 2004
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Dec 24, 2004 - 03:14 |
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A Sad day for the Citadel Ancients as Kill Soulscream the star Blitzing Wight (47spp) was underhandedly killed today.
The Ancients triumphant over the Chaos side siren goes players jubilant 2-0 a Golem had scored a TD just to glance over and see a cowardly Beastman putting the boot into Kill while the refs were checking their scorecards.
black Boneheart " Cowardly action , I mean we didn't even have a chance to retaliate , the game was over,(Last turn of the game) I guess we have a new mortal enemy and we have asked the coach to challenge the dirty low lifes first game next season"
Well you heard it here fans a challenge to the L'roths Destroyers . Lets see if they are courageous enough to accept when the Ancients can fight back |
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ozjesting
Joined: Jan 27, 2004
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Dec 19, 2004 - 14:42 |
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Ed Harsh here for Herd and Hoof Magazine
YES! We are in the BIG LEAGUE NOW BABY! With a dominant 3-0 win over the Black Water Blitzers The Mighty Herd has finished Season 7 with a stellar 6-1-0 record and is into the Premier! The game was a celebration of alll that is Crowe. Lions was singing, kids were getting KOd and Gone...just to cap off a huge season for him...returned a dropped pass from Endzone to Endzone to score the final TD. A hats off to all in the SOUTH conference that tried to hold us out...but the Herd has been dancing with destiny since Season 3...and now we are on the the holiest of turf in the SWL. May their horns glitter, the hooves pound and may we represent the SOUTH properly as we head to the top!!!
Black Crowes 3 vs 0 Black Water Blitzers |
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Say GO AWAY to CuddleBunny! |
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ClayInfinity
Joined: Aug 15, 2003
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Dec 10, 2004 - 21:09 |
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Blue Mountain Dragons 3 def Southern Waste Warriors 0
In a very one sided game, the Dragons totally outplayed, out bashed and out scored the Dark Elves from the Southern Wastes in front of a paltry 68,000 fans at Mt Victorious Stadium.
The Dragons big win is pleasing, but the team is aging terribly and is along way past its Premier League winning days of only 2 seasons ago.
As an example of this, star Blitzer Vallee Heitz at the post-match press conference where he won the Game Ball for best on ground, announced that his knee had become alot worse and was retiring effectively immediately.
A sad day in Dragons history that such a stalwart of the side will no longer be there, but a type of day that will need to happen more frequently if this aging side is to regain its glory days.
Signing off from Mt Victorious,
Mr Whippy |
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ozjesting
Joined: Jan 27, 2004
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Dec 10, 2004 - 08:44 |
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Ed Harsh here for Herd and Hoof Magazine
Wow again! Yes dear readers the Mighty Herd has held off their dwarfish cousins from the Shadow Void in a tense thriller! With a handful of handicapps (4) Brouhaha's Revenge! Had a slim chance early but horny defence and a well timed blitz on the ball from Taller saw a scrum form and and no points scored in the first half.
But with numbers back on their side come the second half a methodical push up the middle saw Taller carry over the lone TD in the match to give the Black Crowes a victory and place their destiny firmly in their grasp! With only one match to play it appears it is still a must win game against the Orcs in the last round unless a few other results fall our way.
On a sadder note we must announce the death of StareItCold. The Crowes have played 37 games and with this quiet unassuming Beastman now grazing in the big paddock in the sky there are only 3 goats left with a perfect attendance record. His stats won't show any great deeds but he was a constant presence on the field and a tireless force behind the scenes. Lions has gratefully agreed to sing a self penned tune at the wake. Hoof Prints On My Heart, an ode to StareItCold, will be out soon in a limited edition single. Proceeds, as always, benefit the family.
Stepping in to fill the gap on the roster is a young up and comer CypressTree All of the Mighty Crowe family look forward to welcoming this kid on board for the big season final!!!
Black Crowes 1 vs 0 Brouhaha's Revenge! |
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Snorri
Joined: Jun 07, 2004
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Dec 10, 2004 - 01:48 |
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Well folks, it turns out the Kazicam has been possesed and is recording images of a game stranger than seeing a den full of wolf cubs being raided by a hen's party. Perhaps its just a side effect of the 'Tassie Flux' - random fluctuations in the southern wastes' magical poles.
In the process a diminutively egotistical impish demon appeared from nowhere and decided he'd rent out the cam's internal apartment. And he won't budge. Everybody knows how difficult it is to dispose of unwanted tenants.
Nevertheless, the little imp has a fetish for whipping up oiled renderings of the scenes the camera sees - but even more strangely, it appears his renderings never lie and never need all that fiddling around before taking the usual shot! Strange, but infinitely more reliable than the old cam, so nobody is complainin'.
Anyway, back to the game. With the new cam reporting it spot on, its difficult to refute...but the khemri came outta da gates playing like a bunch of meesely elfs. Pickups, catches, long bombs, back and forth across the field 3 times. Alas, they all came undone when within blitzing distance of a try, a blitz-ra decided to buck the flow and go back to risky bashing instead of making a dodge. That was pretty much the turning point of the game. It's a risky business messing with the winds of magic.
In the end, the Karaz Krasherz stormed home for a riot-interrupted 2-0 win over the Smack Down in a bizarre game that saw not a single cas go to either side. |
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Sparticus
Joined: Jan 31, 2004
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Dec 09, 2004 - 04:47 |
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Thanks Mr Whippy
Imagannabegot here and im standing with the Barrelette's, Offical cheerleaders for the Brothers In Bloodbowl, and dont they look lovely, short stubby legs, little pot bellies, and long shiny beards, what are they ceilerbrating about? well ill tell you today the Bothers went 2-1 over Soft'N'Fuffy in a slow starting game but brutal finish.
First drive of the game saw Soft'N'Fluffy kick the ball off to the Dwarfs, opening drive by the newsiest captin in tranning Segeuire Stonecrafter, under his Rookie leadership the open drive was a utter failure, which saw the drawfs lose control of the ball and give the orcs a massive positional advantage, and they were able to control the play on feild and hold the dwarfs down and keep them in the middle of the pitch, but it seemed one of the orcs made some comment about a dwarf tossing competion, and things changed abrubtly after that, as the final half time whistle blew, Howard for Soft'N'Fluffy was celerbrating his TD only to find 2 of his own players lying in agony and the rookie thower in grave danger but it was too late the damage had been done and and the apoc was allready working over time with the other 2.....
Goin into the 2nd half it saw the Orcs only being able to feild 8 players, and yelling was comming from the dugout of the dwarfs to the tune of "I DONT CARE ABOUT THE 1ST HALF, NOW GET OU THERE AND WIN"... every dwarf must have been listening to that half time speech, casue they all looked fired up for the game, Segeuire Stonecrafter wanting to make up for his earlier failuire lead by example attacking the ball as soon as the kick off, which saw his efforts rewarded by a hand off from a team mate and he was able to score the equalizing TD, Artser Stonecrafter not wanting to missout on a trip to the "Show" took the feild to lead the Brothers in a impressive attack on the ball , and leaving the orcish attack looking sluggish and confused, Artser quickly took control of the ball and went in safley for the winning TD.
well that sums up a HUGE game, both teams played well the orcs making very few mistakes, but the Dwarfs wer able to make some plays and in paid off for them, which sees them in with a chance for the Premier League, as long as they can defeat the Peno Pancakes next week, then there fate lies in the hands of nuffle, Signing off Imagannabegot.... |
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ClayInfinity
Joined: Aug 15, 2003
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Dec 03, 2004 - 01:04 |
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Mr Whippy's Three-Quarter of the Season Wrap
Well my lordy, I am a tad late for my Mid-Season wrap - must have been too long in the kitchen making my next batch of strawberry jam filled sugared topped donuts! Yum-Mee!
Anyway, with the Conference Leagues taking shape and the race on for first place and hence a guernsey in next seasons Premier League, we'll see how the various leagues are looking.
In the North, the Flitter Mice look the goods. They came out firing at the seasons start recording a couple of big wins and have simply said to the rest of the North Conference "Catch me if you can!" The Mice seem fit and healthy and as long as I find no mice in my Donut batter, then I am tipping them to take the title.
In the South, the race is much closer. I tipped the Black Crowes to come first and they do hold all the Donuts coming into the stretch after their recent win over second place holders Damage Incorporation. The Fyord Frollikars cannot be discounted either, but for me the Black Crowes are too big, too strong and too smelly!
In the East, the race is a two horse race between the Orc side Karaz Krasherz and the indominatble Khemri from the top turnbuckle, Smack Down. The title, in my opinion, will be decided when these two sides meet in a fortnights time in Round 6. I am tipping the Krasherz, but it will be close!
The West though is the most even Conference in my opinion with at least 5, perhaps 6 teams still in contention! I do believe though that the pivotal match will be in Round 6 when the Wanna Beatin clash with the Archfiends of Atrocity. This game will either secure the Orcs the title or throw the race wide open and perhaps clinch it for the Archfiends. At this stage, I am not prepared to put my Donuts where my mouth is... um, yes I am!... but I am still not game to tip a champion here!
Well thats about it!
Enjoy the rest of the season, enjoy the games, enjoy the weather, but most importantly enjoy the Donuts!!
Mr Whippy |
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andycapp
Joined: May 26, 2004
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Dec 01, 2004 - 00:56 |
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Kooshee here reporting live from outside Wanna Beatin's training camp. Sorry for reporting so late in the season - it took me this long to get out of hospital from last season.
<Director> Kooshee, get on with it you idiot! I only gave you your job back because you sobbed like a little baby and ...
<Kooshee> AHEM! No need to be like that you poor excuse for a radio executive.
<Director> Don't push me, Kooshee. I'll let the team know you're out here. And remember we ARE on RADIO this time!
<Kooshee> No, don't do that. I'll be nice, sir. So, as I was saying, welcome to Season 7 of the SWL. It's now Round 5 out of 7, and I'm here reporting outside of ... *KOOSH*
(Kooshee is smacked to the ground by the team of Orcs, similar but even harder than last season)
<Director> Looks like they knew you were here all along, you poor fool.
<TEAM> We'z Wanna Beatin! We'z Wanna Beatin!
<Director, muttering> Not this again. Seems like that all this team can say is "We'z Wanna Beatin" ...
<DaSmasha> Wot dat? you'z Wanna Beatin? Hey you'z guyz, he'z Wanna Beatin !!!
<TEAM> WANNA BEATIN! WANNA BEATIN!
*STOMP* *WHACK* *SMACK*
<Director>OUCH! Stop it! Listen to me! *SNAP* Aaaiiieeeee !!!
<Kooshee> errrm, hehehe. Now it's your turn, SIR.
<Kooshee, professional voice> Yes folks, as you can see - I mean hear, this team is always ready for a beatin, especially on the Director here, hehehe. *CRUNCH*
<DaBasha> Hey, 'dis guy'z not squishy at all ... 'im! let'z get 'im again!!! (points at Kooshee)
<DaLobba> STOP! Wait a minute, guyz. Wif 'im sayin' stuff for uz, we can all be Super-Stars like me! (breaks into song) Yeah, I'm a Super-Star, dat is wot I is, no-one else 'ere is, I'm da Super-Star...
<andycapp> Well team, make up your mind. We have to get back to training for (shameless plug) 8:00pm tonight Sydney time, when we play the Brothers in BloodBowl!
(The team hesitates, looking at Kooshee)
<Kooshee> Yes ... ummm ... well, let's see here.
<Kooshee, professional voice> That's right folks! In what should be quite a strong match at the top of the West Conference, this lean, mean and green team of Wanna Beatin look like they are ready for anything. Uh, believe me on that one.
<DaFlinga> I like 'dat. "Lean Mean and Green". 'Dat's just like uz!
<DaLobba> 'Dat iz uz, you brick-brained numbskull. And you'z call yourself a Thrower. Looks like you'z lost your brain some time ago.
<Kooshee, professional voice> Ahem. Yes, there they are! The team currently leading the West Conference. Training very hard for what seems to be their signature move, their set-up play "DaWall". The remaining opponents better watch out for that one.
<andycapp> Hey, that's enough, now! No giving away our secrets. Besides, once the kickoff is in play, all of my coaching goes right out the window. If you can give me this one secret, then you can be our sole reporter. Think of it! No-one else allowed to report on us. Only you. It will be great!
<Kooshee> Well, I'm not so sure that's such a good deal there ...
(a shadow covers Kooshee. Looking up, Kooshee sees DaBludga leering menacingly, drool pooling in the corners of his mouth)
<Kooshee> OK, OK! I'll take your offer. Let me sign off and you can get back to training.
<Kooshee, professional voice> So folks, this is Kooshee, signing off live from the training headquarters of Wanna Beatin. Stay tuned for more updates from me - and only me - Kooshee.
<andycapp> well done, Kooshee.
(The team looks pleadingly at andycapp. Kooshee wonders what is going on)
<andycapp> OK guys, once more each. But then it's inside for lunch.
(andycapp turns, not wanting to see what happens next)
(The team forms a circle around Kooshee, bearing in on him)
<TEAM> WE'Z WANNA BEATIN !!!
*KOOSH* *STOMP* *KOOSH* *CRACK* *KOOSH* *SQUELCH* *KOOSH* ...
<Kooshee> Noooooooooooo! |
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ozjesting
Joined: Jan 27, 2004
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Nov 30, 2004 - 14:10 |
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Ed Harsh here for Herd and Hoof Magazine
WOW! That sums up this top of the table clash between 2 powerhouses of the game. The newish up and coming Damage Inc and the seasoned hard horns of the Black Crowes It was a studied, disclipened display of cunning, guile and might. Both teams coaches had their hands full tring to juggle sweeps and counter sweeps and blocking assingments. The Crowes looked to have a chance to steal a TD against the run of play to close out the first half but Lions got overexcited and tried a 1D block for no sane reason and went face down!
Gone held on to the ball til the last possible moment in the second half...swaying too and fro looking for an opening...finally had to throw a long pass down the middle and hope. Angels took the ball and pulled off the all or nothing dodge to secure the win at the bell!!! What a day for the Crowes fans!!!
A commanding grip on the South Conference table but it will be tense times for the coaching staff as they try to get past the dangers from below.. Stay tuned dear readers...this is unexplored territory for the kids....lets hope they can hang on!
Black Crowes 1 vs 0 Damage Inc |
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