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tussock



Joined: May 29, 2011

Post   Posted: Nov 03, 2022 - 07:30 Reply with quote Back to top

T: Season previews, Phillip, remember those?

P: I hear there's a High Elf team in prem again, what are they up against?

Image Season XCIV Premier Division

T: Well, I guess it starts with Orcs in round 1.

Image (1490) [SWL]Dorruks know what league they're in, the SWL. Just as well they wrote it down like that, or they'd have probably forgotten to turn up for prem at all. The shame of this lot, is they didn't hire a Goblin. There's a Goblin's wages going begging in the treasury, there's a troll to throw them with, what's their other one-turn plan? Bushing the Buns up the pitch? Not likely.

P: 5-0 to the Elves, there, can't be otherwise. No grace in an Orc team.

T: That might be a bit ambitious, Phillip, Takeshi has to be a worry, but I don't see them winning without a Goblin.

Image (1490) Minutes or Centuries will come off the game against the Champion Zons with surely a few more skills, but possibly a touch of dented pride. The Amateurs will be hoping they're missing a few Guards and all, taking a short break for the week at least. If they do bring a famous Goblin along, things could get dicey indeed for the High Elves in round 2.

P: The Amateurs have dealt to Bomber every time he's met them, that won't be a problem, and nor will the horrible tall hat men, just too short in the stride to keep up with an elf team, those boys.

T: Could be half an elf team to face them, but, well, Wizards never go astray, or almost never?

Image (1260) Zealots of Change will be looking for a recovery game after the Turbo Wolves tear them up, and round 3 with whatever is left of the High Elfs after a brutal opening might just cut them short of the needed inducements to get one. Either team could turn up here half full of loners, and both teams will bring enough hitting power to worry a lack of bench.

P: Half a team of rats won't worry a full team of Elfs, Terence, not even a challenge! 3-0 at least.

T: Don't forget it's also half a team of Snotlings, and they do horrible things to Elf teams.

P: While losing!

T: True enough.

Image (1330) Pitch Painters get the horrors about facing the Amateurs every time, they may kill one or two each game, and not leave many Elfs for the follow up match, but they've never come close to beating the High Elfs, just paper thin defence. No chance. Still, those old Trolls are going to take their toll, if they've survived the Dorruks leading in, and if they do it early enough, who knows.

P: We know, Terence, same as always, 3-1, if they make their desperate TTM chances.

T: Lets see what the likely depleted Amateurs face, on their homeward run, eh.

Image (1410) [SWL]Mandatory Happiness survived the prem of season 93, and if there's anything left of them after playing footsie with the Minutes or Centuries, well, you know what they say about Dark Elves. Bloody imperialist race-slavers travelling the world looking for easy targets? They won't find one with the Amateurs! Go hunt somewhere else with a few boots to hurry you along!

P: Certainly so, Terence, High Elfs and Dark Elfs play a very different game, on the bloodbowl pitch, and the High Elf one is just better. 3-2 or so, without a doubt.

T: Just a shame there's no chance of Goblins from here.

Image (1400) Blackwater Picaroons will be fresh off tackling the Zealots when they face their greatest challenge of the season in round six. Maleficent will relish the challenge, looking to take her third prem title in a row, a difficult woman to bring down when not surrounded by a highly skilled set of team-mates, let alone as she will be here.

P: Maybe the High Elves will just have to hope someone else has beaten them already. Or, perhaps, they'll be bringing a pair of hard hitting forwards in the form of Buck Shelford and Norm Hewitt.

T: Assuming any of those players survive to round six is this ever-challenging premier division, let alone round seven.

Image (1480) Turbo Wolves will be fresh off monstering the Pitch Painters, and if the Flesh Golems survived that, they'll be annoying for the High Elves to deal with, along with the rest of them. It's their lack of back up ball carriers has held them from the title the last couple times, but they've been in it to the end each go, and this could well be a championship decider against the High Elves to finish.

P: 2-1 to the High Elves, near-perfect season, what could go wrong, prem rings for the survivors.

T: Which team those rings will go to is anyone's guess really, as much as these High Elves can win any game, winning every game has proven difficult.

Image (1440) Amateur Professionals come in off the back of a comfortable conference win with a rookie thrower and a few storied favourites to take on the best the SWL has to offer. No one here is beyond them, and every team will fear this match up. They might just fear one or two themselves, but such is the modern game.

P: What? Where's the superstar thrower? Terence?

T: Listen, I asked the coach, apparently a lot of money went missing in the post-season party scene, and Bruce Deans has not been seen since that night.

P: Oh, no. How could he take the team's cash instead of play for a Prem ring? What is going on!

T: It makes no sense to me, Phillip, but I guess some people are just assholes.

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tussock



Joined: May 29, 2011

Post   Posted: Oct 23, 2022 - 09:36 Reply with quote Back to top

The Awards Show!
With T&P.

T: Dodge wins again, Phillip, tragically the Goblins that should have had it went on holiday and missed out, and then the Halflings went and poisoned the Dwarfs, and well, the Lenestar sisters just too good for the rest.

P: That is scurrilous, Terence, the Halflings sold the Dwarfs their recipes for rat soup and the wee blokes fell over themselves trying to get out to start a resteraunt. Gave up SWL on the spot!

T: Oh, then why the name change, eh, if not avoiding liability suits?

P: The Amazonian player's have changed their position names for entirely cromulent reasons, Terence, nothing to do with the Dwarfs.

T: And what a season they had, with the Dwarfs, what was it, taking up restraunteuring? Likely, I don't think.

P: Just give us the awards show, Terence, get on with it.

T: I, it, right.

The SWL XCIII Team Achievements

T: With a few teams deciding to take up alternate persuits, the records have mostly fallen to squads that everyone desperately wants to play against, various kinds of Goblins, and High Elfs, who are rubbish.

P: What? High Elves are excellent, Terence.

T: One or two long bombs doesn't make a bloodbowl team, Phillip, despite the achievements it earns.

Regional:
Turns (1152): Motherstone Connection
Completions (7): Motherstone Connection
TDs (14): Motherstone Connection
Cas (20): Kapitol Krushers & Mighty Mortgaged Mob
SPP (77): Kapitol Krushers
Passing yards (15): Motherstone Connection & Giddleberry Lowborns
Rushing yards (229): Motherstone Connection
Blocks (361): Kapitol Krushers
Fouls (36): Lobrot Asylum
Blocks/Cas (11): Mighty Mortgaged Mob
Pass/Cp (3.5): Lone Lada
Kills (?, ?? spp): ???

Conference:
Turns (1145): Minutes or Centuries
Completions (14): Amateur Professionals
TDs (16): Amateur Professionals & Styx and Warpstones
Cas (21): Amateur Professionals & Ophidian Infidels
SPP (104): Amateur Professionals
Passing yards (112): Amateur Professionals
Rushing yards (280): Styx and Warpstones
Blocks (348): Minutes or Centuries
Fouls (53): New Blacktown Expatriots
Blocks/Cas (10.78): Styx and Warpstones
Pass/Cp (9.56): Mexican Standoff
Kills (?, ?? spp): ???

Premier:
Turns (998): Mosgiel Moonrakers
Completions (7): Mosgiel Moonrakers
TDs (12): Mandatory Happiness
Cas (16): Blackwater Picaroons & Mosgiel Moonrakers
SPP (66): Mosgiel Moonrakers
Passing yards (13): Grimbreakers
Rushing yards (206): Mosgiel Moonrakers
Blocks (263): Mosgiel Moonrakers
Fouls (28): Mosgiel Moonrakers
Blocks/Cas (13.93): Black Lagoon Go-Go Bar

Kills (?, ?? spp): ???

P: Go the flings!

T: But look at the Goblins down below, few rats with 'em, sure, some snotlings underfoot, but we all know what makes those teams great,

P: The Gutter Runners?

T: Well, be that as it may, it's Goblins the crowds cheer for.

Image The Unofficial Maester Whippy Stunty Cone
Image Lemon Sweetpea (Mosgiel Moonrakers) 14 spp
Image The Unofficial Maester Whippy Dean Douglas Sundae
Image Auntyshape Grumbleflick (Lobrot Asylum) & Image Geldof da Grinch (Boomtown Ratzz) 14 spp

P: Looks like more Halflings to me, Terence.

T: Don't troll, Phillip, that's Auntyshape's job.

P: To the individual awards!

The SWL XCIII Awards

T: The whole point of the show, the rest of it leads here, gentle viewers, did the team awards come from individual greatness? Let's find out!

Regional:

Image Image Bootsy 'Twinkletoes' Holly (Motherstone Connection) 12 TDs
Image Image Auntyshape Grumbleflick (Lobrot Asylum) 7 cas
Image Image Urag Rattree (Kapitol Krushers) 112 turns
Image Image Bootsy 'Twinkletoes' Holly (Motherstone Connection) 134 rushing yards
Image Image Dr Warpenstein (Motherstone Connection) 15 pass yards
Image Image Blight Sabre Mania (Motherstone Connection) 25 fouls
Image Image Seedling Bill Bush (Motherstone Connection) 77 blocks
Image Image Dr Warpenstein (Motherstone Connection) 7 cps
Image Image Dalcorat Stoikov (Lone Lada) 5 block/cas
Image Image Anrad Rastolnik (Lone Lada) 4.34 pass/cp

Image Image Bootsy 'Twinkletoes' Holly (Motherstone Connection) 36 SPP

P: Speaking of Gutter Runners, what is it makes them so good?

T: Mostly it's 13 players standing between them and the opposition, to be fair, those individual stats are a team effort in so many ways.

P: Their team-mates are up there too, such a stunning player, that Bootsy. All style.

Conference:

Image Image Atlas (Styx and Warpstones) 14 TDs
Image Image Thanatos (Styx and Warpstones) & ImageParker Ust (Albion Itinerants) 12 cas
Image Image The Ticker (Minutes or Centuries) & ImageTime After Time (Minutes or Centuries) & ImageThe Grandfather (Minutes or Centuries)112 turns
Image Image Atlas (Styx and Warpstones) 210 rushing yards
Image Image Bruce Deans (Amateur Professionals) 109 pass yards
Image Image Anigrides (Styx and Warpstones) 39 fouls
Image Image Thanatos (Styx and Warpstones) 92 blocks
Image Image Bruce Deans (Amateur Professionals) 13 cps
Image Image Jude Bellam (Albion Itinerants) 2.34 block/cas
Image Image Lonnie Bhom (Mexican Standoff) 9.56 pass/cp

Image Image Atlas (Styx and Warpstones) 42 SPP

T: More underworld dominance of the player awards, surely other teams can see the trend here, stars and Goblins!

P: No small number of superstars and legends in that lot, striving for premier, or, in the case of the Styx, ducking it yet again.

T: It's like they fear being shown up by the Amazons, surely not.

Premier:

Image Image Maleficent Lenestar (c) (Blackwater Picaroons) 6 TDs
Image Image Thar'th (Bronzed Raiders), Image Ursula Lenestar (Blackwater Picaroons) & Image Hunter Sorensen (Turbo Wolves) 6 cas
Image Image Shadowleaf (Mosgiel Moonrakers) 110 turns
Image Image Búrnhak (Bronzed Raiders) 143 rushing yards
Image Image Brianethe Goatencrush (Grimbreakers) 13 pass yards
Image Image Sweet Gumdrop (Mosgiel Moonrakers) 19 fouls
Image Image Shadowleaf (Mosgiel Moonrakers) 66 blocks
Image Image Tenderthorn (Mosgiel Moonrakers) 6 cps
Image Image Maleficent Lenestar (c) (Blackwater Picaroons) 4.6 block/cas

Image Image Double Rainbow ([SWL] Mandatory Happiness) 1 int
Image Image Maleficent Lenestar (c) (Blackwater Picaroons) 28 SPP

P: Maleficent! Munificent! Omnificent! Magnificent!

T: Are those all real words, Phillip?

P: Dishing it out at will, making the plays from nothing, rightly lauded for her efforts.

T: Fair enough. More teams finding their outstanding play-makers rewarded here, but you've got to hand it to the Zons, two in a row, what will become of them with the new rules?

P: Could be anything, Terence, wouldn't surprise to see three in a row, surely, huge amount of fleet and fragile teams coming up, not so many brutal hitters to quiet the ladies, could be well into making a legend here.

T: Making several of them, if they can hang around.

P: Those treemen are looking scary as well.

T: So long as they don't take root right at the kickoff and leave the team stranded at half way.

P: Small problems, Terence.

T: Problems for the small ones, more like.

P: They'll terrorise the Conferences again, along with the other teams dropping back for a refresher course in having enough tackle.

T: This is not a joke about having enough tackle for the whole Amazon team. They're quite happy to share.

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Wozzaa



Joined: Apr 23, 2016

Post   Posted: Oct 18, 2022 - 07:02 Reply with quote Back to top

The Lunar Observer

What is a Moonraker?

The Moonrakers have just finished their very first (and the first of any Halfling team) attempt at the SWL Premiership, and had a great time doing it. They are heading into their 6th season, also making them the longest running Halfling team to compete in SWL proper.

But where did they get their name?

'Us wur cleverer than ‘E-ah, us diddled ‘E alright.
In a pond up ‘Vizes way – smugglers ‘ad ‘idden a keg ‘o brandy & us wur trying to get at un. Us were scrabbling away with gurt ‘ay rakes when us spied ‘zizeman ‘a’watching. So us pointed to moon’s ‘flection in water & told un us wur “raking vor that gurt cheese”. ‘e thought us wur caddled & ‘ad ‘ad too much tiddley. So off ‘e went, laffing fit to bust ‘is britches. That’s why us Halflings be called “Moonrakers”, s’now.'


Halflings have not always been treated as equals by the Humans that surround them. This ancient tale tells of how the Halflings of Mosgiel fought back, in a small way, against the Humans who had attempted to exploit them by charging exorbitant fees for the Halflings favourite liquor.

The Halflings smuggled all sorts of liquor up the Silverstream, and had many a raucous party. The Humans attempted to put a stop to this with firm laws, but the Halflings found ways.

The moral of the story: Never underestimate a Halfling.

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Semitence



Joined: May 18, 2013

Post   Posted: Sep 10, 2022 - 02:44 Reply with quote Back to top

Channel BB Exclusive!

Rumour has it that an official inquiry into Morg 'n Thorg's performance is to be undertaken. There has been speculation from a number of completely anonymous, unknown & secret sources as to accusations of match fixing. Morg 'n Thorg claims performance issues are related to being overworked, suffering jet-lag, match scheduling issues & claims that in his twilight years, packing on the extra muscle has resulted in higher levels of fatigue.
Analysts speculate that after years of living the high life, financing issues drove Morg to reduce his match fees, and his refusal to work through an agent has resulted in a schedule that is untenable. When asked if there were macro-economic factors in play, Morg 'n Thorg ensured that Cablevision would have the opportunity to hire a new reporter for his next match.
An un-official statement from sources rumoured to have once touched the hair of Griff Oberwald Pty. Ltd. Inc. All Rights Reserved claimed "It was obvious that Morg wanted to lose. Just look as what he did to poor Griff. He's just a jealous Ogre. Ensuring he is injured means more business for Morg...".
The Dorruk fans claim Morg couldn't have been on the take, as they were "going as hard as they could at him" citing a unsportsorclike* foul in the dying stages of the match, though given Morg was completely surrounded at the time it is unknown whether he was taking a bruising, or he rolled over for dramatic effect.
When asked if his big-star moneyball team strategy would continue in the future, Coach Semitence refused to comment.
More to come.

*Any sporting Orc fan knows the only good fouls are ones that ensure you get to play rookies next time you play.
tussock



Joined: May 29, 2011

Post   Posted: Aug 22, 2022 - 03:51 Reply with quote Back to top

The Season 92 All Stars. Image

Last of the free ride for the teams, according to player's agents. These outstanding few will demand a little something extra in many cases now, as will their long-time support players.

Image Tenderthorn bagged nine casuaties on the way to pulling the Moonrakers up to the first Halfling prem appearance in SWL history. What a player, fast for a tree, quick to their feet, and relable as you like at the old overarm skull-crusher, in addition to supporting teammates with every ounce of that twenty-ton trunk. If there's space you don't want your opponents near, just put Tenderthorn there.

Image Skokhoug Hornhide is a particularly stout lineman for the Grimbreakers, with a strong positional game, earning nine casualties through the season. Enjoyed his time against some softer teams, passing the survivors around to the rest of the boys for more. You'd love him on any team, and fits beautifully into the All Stars here.

Image Slugwater the Toad played a cunning positional game, guided by his more alert team-mates and coach, biding his time but smashing into whoever got in his way, and block for block was comfortably the best in prem as a result. In addition, those threatening tentacles gave the rest of his team so much space to work in, what's not to want? Horrible plagues?

Image Maleficent Lanestar(c) is our All Star Captain. She took over scoring duties for her squad when team-mate and last season's All Star Aubrey Uranus was lost mid-season, and carried them to premier victory, on top of bagging a few casualties and just generally being the team's primary play-maker. A player can do anything but long pass, she'd be welcome doing it anywhere, including here with the best of the best.

Image Spocker is chief blitz-taker for the New Blacktown Expatriots, pulling the team forward behind his rushing efforts, and chasing down the nearest skilled target for Trimm to have a crack at after. Get near Spocker, you're going down, and you're staying down. That sort of work ethic is well suited to an All Star team.

Image Parker Ust with all the big boys on this team, it does need a spot of speed to challenge those fast dodgy types, and Parker gave it his all this season doing just that, with 70 blocks and the Silver shield, and a fair six casualties from 'em. He can stand up in tight stuff, and still quickly make ground on almost anyone sneaking past, just what any team needs.

Image The Grandfather has some mighty big springs these days, when he gets wound up he will just go, and go, and go. A couple Cas on the way, on top of the Disco Dan Ball, and the Duke Snakefield Medallion. That's always a spot in the All Stars, and The Grandfather will likely be back in prem again have a crack at the title, and other awards. More faster!

Image Grootrel Silverforged is solo carrier for the Grimbreakers, and has carried them all the way to prem next season. Normally not a huge squad around him, but carries some extra armour, and knows how to dodge the lesser hitters, outstanding reliability, just the basics done so well. Look out for him to carry a premier title too.

Image Guiseppe Garibaldi had an absolute field day in the regions, the wee legend more than capable against less experienced teams of running in score after score, getting three touchdowns in each of three seperate games though the season. Just gotta watch that Monstrous Mouth of his doesn't get him trouble, pride before the fall and all that, even when it is well earned.

Image Emilio Ferrano added a comfortable set of gold Thwahns to his silver ones this season, a reliable arm under the pressure cooker conditions of the premier division, comfortably long passing, and picking up few interesting skills along the way, says he'd love to kick in the face of a few of those fast boys chasing him into his deep pocket start spot.

Image Trimm did not quite see out the season, as the Killer Heelz played hunt the goblins, and the mess they left of him was a bit much for the Apo. A fair number of messes he's left of other players over the seasons, particularly laying in the boot all of XCII, can now rest easy. What a little champ, giving it his all to the very last drop, sadly just left on the spikes of a nasty dark elven blitzer.

--

Prem Stars
The Grandfather - Minutes and Centuries
Kate 'the Claw' Cheney - Turbo Wolves
Phyllis Stein - Mexican Standoff
Wimba Wetsnivel - Black Lagoon Go-Go Bar
Spocker - New Blacktown Expatriots
Slugwater the Toad - Black Lagoon Go-Go Bar
Catalufa Cacklespine - Black Lagoon Go-Go Bar
Emilio Ferrano - Mexican Standoff
Trimm - New Blacktown Expatriots
Iris Payne - Blackwater Picaroons
Maleficent Lenestar - Blackwater Picaroons.

Confs Stars
Grootrel Silverforged - Grimbreakers
Coronado Iko Uwaisland Rattlesnake - Slouching Viper, Midden Dragon
Pomare - GG Luckers
Búrnhak - Bronzed Raiders
Skokhoug Hornhide - Grimbreakers
Tenderthorn - Munchausen Moonrakers
Parker Ust - Albion Itinerants
Bruce Deans - Amateur Professionals
Lerrusk - Bronzed Raiders
Shadowleaf - Munchausen Moonrakers
John Timu - Amateur Professionals

Rising Stars
Guiseppe Garibaldi - Zealots of Change
Finuba Org - Ligna Ludis
Denise Masano - Sun's Out, Guns Out
Morcant Paprika - Animalistic Savages
Boo - Bony Bumpers
Louis Sunberry - A-Maize-ing Cereal Killers
Boyshape Gutwart - Lobrot Asylum
Aovan Cord - Ligna Ludis
Halser Springpot - Scatterbrook Tardigrades
Asteroth - Demise of Chaos!
Scratch - Bony Bumpers

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tussock



Joined: May 29, 2011

Post   Posted: Aug 17, 2022 - 11:56 Reply with quote Back to top

The Awards Show!
With T & P.

P: A more sensible winner this time, Terence.

T: They all had Dodge, that's close enough to Goblins to me.

P: Bit of a stretch, surely.

T: Word is some rule changes in tackling may well make them stretch to make two in a row.

P: The system at large wouldn't ruin a whole class of teams just because they won SWL would they?

T: Or would they?

The SWL XCII Team Achievements

T: Teams starting to set substantial records for this era, expect those to come on line after next season.

Regional:
Turns (1228): Not Brown Bread
Completions (13): Skye Babes & Les Maitres de L'univers
TDs (15): Zealots of Change
Cas (26): Flower Beard
SPP (121): Ligna Ludis
Passing yards (50): 50 Shades of Dulux
Rushing yards (243): Sun's Out, Guns Out!
Blocks (362): Demise of Chaos
Fouls (79): Scatterbrook Tardigrades
Blocks/Cas (10.65): Scatterbrook Tardigrades
Pass/Cp (3.67): Clans of Jyhad
Kills (?, ?? spp): ???

Conferences:
Turns (1151): [SWL] Dorruks
Completions (14): Amateur Professionals
TDs (15): Bronzed Raiders
Cas (35): Grimbreakers
SPP (132): Grimbreakers
Passing yards (122): Amateur Professionals
Rushing yards (263): Bronzed Raiders
Blocks (393): Ophidian Infidels
Fouls (35): GG Luckers
Blocks/Cas (9.26): Grimbreakers
Pass/Cp (8.71): Amateur Professionals
Kills (?, ?? spp): ???

Premier:
Turns (1107): Freedom Foulers
Completions (13): Mexican Standoff
TDs (13): Mexican Standoff
Cas (21): Black Lagoon Go-Go Bar
SPP (101): Mexican Standoff
Passing yards (106): Mexican Standoff
Rushing yards (221): Turbo Wolves
Blocks (342): Minutes or Centuries
Fouls (68): New Blacktown Expatriots
Blocks/Cas (14.62): Black Lagoon Go-Go Bar
Pass/Cp (8.15): Mexican Standoff
Kills (?, ?? spp): ???

P: Some solid numbers back in the passing game, rumors of its demise perhaps over-stated.

T: The "you must spin on one leg while throwing" rule still confuses most players, but the specialists manage.

P: You'd think there'd be more knee injuries, really.

T: Needs more goblins, natural for them to target the knees.

Image The Unofficial Maester Whippy Stunty Cone
Image Belser Nighthand (Scatterbrook Tardigrades) 21 spp
Image The Unofficial Maester Whippy Dean Douglas Sundae
Image Tenderthorn (Munchausen Moonrakers) 18 spp

P: Halfling domination again, there, getting it done, also good at targetting the knees, or the top of the skull.

T: Little devils they are, give stunties a bad name.


The SWL Season XCII Awards

P: Who's got the Twahns, Terence?

T: The players that rightly deserve them, according to our extremely careful snotling accountants, who have the right number of fingers and toes on average.

Regional:
Image Image Giuseppe Garibaldi (Zealots of Change) 11 TDs
Image Image Softacorn Gentlebeard (Scatterbrook Tardigrades) & ImageSunflower (Flower Beard)
& ImageCaleb Yve (Not Brown Bread) & ImageLouis Sunberry (A-Maize-ing Cereal Killers) 7 Cas
Image Image Asteroth (Demise of Chaos!) & ImageMichel de Montaigne (Redgum's Renaissance)
& ImageThe Savior (Demise of Chaos!) & ImageLouis Sunberry (A-Maize-ing Cereal Killers) 112 turns
Image Image Denise Masino (Sun's out, Guns out!) & ImageMorcant Paprika (Animalistic Savages) 197 rushing yards
Image Image Aovan Cord (Ligna Ludis) 28 pass yards
Image Image Halser Springpot (Scatterbrook Tardigrades) 39 fouls
Image Image Boyshape Gutwart (Lobrot Asylum) 66 blocks
Image Image La Sorcière (Les Maitres de L'univers) 13 cps
Image Image Boo (Bony Bumpers) 3.5 block/cas
Image Image Fairy Tern (50 Shades of Dulux) 5.2 pass/cp
Image Image Latundan (Banana Republicans) 1 int
Image Image Giuseppe Garibaldi (Zealots of Change) 33 SPP

T: Underworld and Dwarfs alike loving the conditions in the Regionals.

P: The Dwarfs will love it a bit more when the two meet up in Conferences.

T: Wait, is that a glove award?

P: Not many intercepts these days, when you're supposed to catch them after the required bicycle kick part.

Conferences:
Image Image Grootrel Silverforged (Grimbreakers) 8 TDs
Image Image Skokhoug Hornhide (Grimbreakers) & ImageTenderthorn (Munchausen Moonrakers) 9 cas
Image Image Shadowleaf (Munchausen Moonrakers) & ImagePomare (GG Luckers)
& ImageWormser III ([SWL] Dorruks) & ImageCoach Harris ([SWL] Dorruks) 113 turns
Image Image Grootrel Silverforged (Grimbreakers) 189 rushing yards
Image Image Bruce Deans (Amateur Professionals) 121 pass yards
Image Image Lerrusk (Bronzed Raiders) 27 fouls
Image Image Parker Ust (Albion Itinerants) 70 blocks
Image Image Bruce Deans (Amateur Professionals) 13 cps
Image Image Turmouth Warthane (Grimbreakers) 5.6 block/cas
Image Image Bruce Deans (Amateur Professionals) 9.31 pass/cp

Image Image Grootrel Silverforged (Grimbreakers) 24 SPP


T: Another dominant Dwarf team, it's just as well they're all starting to ask for more money, as they won't all get it.

P: The core high performers here will though, and they'll offer less inducements to other teams as a result.

T: As long as Griff doesn't take pitty on them. He wouldn't do that would he?

Premier:
Image Image The Grandfather (Minutes or Centuries) 8 TDs
Image Image Spocker (New Blacktown Expatriates) 8 cas
Image Image Iris Payne (Blackwater Picaroons) 112 turns
Image Image Kate 'The Klaw' Chaney (Turbo Wolves) 185 rushing yards
Image Image Emilio Ferrano (Mexican Standoff) 93 pass yards
Image Image Trimm (New Blacktown Expatriates) 31 fouls
Image Image Spocker (New Blacktown Expatriates) 80 blocks
Image Image Emilio Ferrano (Mexican Standoff) 10 cps
Image Image Slugwater the Toad (Black Lagoon Go-Go Bar) 5 block/cas
Image Image Emilio Ferrano (Mexican Standoff) 9.3 pass/cp

Image Image The Grandfather (Minutes or Centuries) 28 SPP

P: Well spread around the top teams this time, Terence.

T: Well, the Underworld did party all season instead of playing on.

P: Not that they would've neccisarily done it again, those Amazons were hard to tackle.

T: Back to back is not easy, especially with the pain coming up.

P: Rumours they'll adapt, despite rule changes on the way around tackling ladies, who knows what's ahead.

T: Wall of pain, Phillip, wall of pain.

P: Won't get easier up in Premier division, for sure, solid teams coming up, full of hitting power, speed, skill, and great records, plus some Imperials made it, which is nice for them.

T: If they'd just pay the linemen enough to buy proper boots, but no, everything for the Nobs.

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tussock



Joined: May 29, 2011

Post   Posted: Jun 14, 2022 - 14:32 Reply with quote Back to top

The Season 91 All Stars. Image

3nd season of the new SWL, and players are starting to reach their peak, no more than in the teams that specialise.

Image Aten The big TG had a big season, taking a bite out of most teams, and standing strong to bring an honourable result to the old bones in their first prem appearance. He'll be a terror back in the conferences.

Image Takeshi The Big Un's speed and tackling power was key to keeping up with the feast of dodgy teams the Dorruks faced, but his ability to stay on the park and just keep dishing it out is a big part of why he's here. Plus, no one wants that taking a free shot at them on the line.

Image Hydra The champs this season had more turns than any other team, and the biggest part of that was the big troll that discouraged teams from getting too close, and now and then layed on the hurt for those that did.

Image Thanatos(c) The other part of why they had more turns than anyone was our all-star captain giving every other team a whole lot less turns. Game, after game, after game, including four each against the heavily armour orcs and chaos dwarfs, thirteen in total, devastating form. A champion among champions.

Image Felix Bressart With just five games to his name, seven casulties and two scores showed what a powerhouse the Human teams can put up, bettering almost everyone with a full season to their chances. On the edge of something even better, extended training awaits.

Image Hunter Sorenson Great form with five casualties and three scores in premier, kept his team in the hunt right to the end, always a threat, still sharpening those claws, back for more at the top of the league.

Image Atlas Another superlative season for a Styx player, a massive eleven touchdowns in a premier season, almost unheard of, supremely fast, that extra head to watch for tacklers, barely even needs the team around him, but does it in comfort when they are.

Image Aubrey Uranus Dodgier than even the rest of the Amazons, Aubrey scored eight on the way to a conference victory, not at all shy to share it around and help the morale of the team heading into their training for premier. Expect a feast in the big time.

Image Grootrel Silverforged Comfortably walked in a stack of touchdowns behind his devastatingly effective pack of dwarf linemen, and a few star players they could afford from their solid budgeting. Looking to bring the same to conferences.

Image Bruce Deans Had a shocker at times, but the safe passing skills gave the team the confidence to cover his little errors, and he was always up to chucking it long to recover position after. Quick on his feet, he's got his eye in now and could set records from here.

Image Charli It takes a special talent, a proper dirty little git, to stick the boot in fourty one times in a season. The likes of that is rarely seen in the SWL, not that far off the greatest ever. Something to celebrated, up in prem, where he'll make a mess of the best of them.

--

Prem Stars
Atlas - Styx and Warpstones
Kate 'the Klaw' Cheney - Turbo Wolves
Heinrich Hoeftman - Ostland Horns
Pomare - GG Luckers
Thanatos - Styx and Warpstones
Felix Bressart - Ostland Horns
Aten - Ophidian Infidels
Aegle - Styx and Warpstones
Melaina - Styx and Warpstones
Hydra - Styx and Warpstones
Hunter Sorenson - Turbo Wolves

Confs Stars
Aubrey Uranis - Blackwater Picaroons
Guiseppe Garibaldi - Zealots of Change
Robb - New Blacktown Expatriots
The Grandfather - Minutes or Centuries
Maleficent Lenestar - Blackwater Picaroons
Eisheth Stiletto - Killer Heelz
Takeshi - SWL Dorruks
Bruce Deans - Amateur Professionals
Charli - New Blacktown Expatriots
Pinktint Chestdrool - Black Lagoon Go-Go Bar
Sick Bubblegum - Call of the Zombie

Rising Stars
Puddles - Boney Bumpers
Grootrel Silverforged - Grimbreakers
Rebecca Razzia - Albion Itinerants
Lavender - Flower Beard
Deeptuber Strongbough - Scatterbrook Tardigrades
Orchid - Flower Beard
Colin Canturbury - Latent Talent
Theodore Jerky Oligorp - Latent Talent
Grarmud Boneshard - Redgum's Ravagers
Softacorn Gentlebeard - Scatterbrook Tardigrades
Gramma - Latent Talent

Potential Stars
Iridrit Baradakas - Ligna Ludis
Move 'ZIG' - All Your Balls
Conglomerate - Born to Rock
Seth Wilbeth - A-Maize-ing Cereal Killers
Ivy Sprywood - Blackwater Rocky Road Warriors
Kenzie Gafolern - A-Maize-ing Cereal Killers
Cody Rathiza - A-Maize-ing Cereal Killers
Aovan Cord - Ligna Ludis
Sweat Rag - Sun's out, Guns out
Willow Barkley - Blackwater Rocky Road Warriors
Tindi Laurilen - Ligna Ludis

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tussock



Joined: May 29, 2011

Post   Posted: Jun 04, 2022 - 09:52 Reply with quote Back to top

The Awards Show!
With T & P.

P: More Goblin winners, Terence! What is going on?

T: Goblins are unstoppable, Phillip, if you don't have Goblins on the pitch, you aren't winning the SWL Premier division.

P: Surely that's a bold claim after just two seasons of it.

T: Extrapolation is a fine art, Phillip, and I have it down. Goblins forever more. Nothing but.

P: Let's see if the Goblins themselves contributed, shall we?

The SWL XCI Team Achievements

T: It is a pleasure to bring you the sums. The snotlings have enough fingers and toes between them to make this easy.

Regional:
Turns (1125): Albion Itinerants
Completions (8): Latent Talent
TDs (17): Albion Itinerants
Cas (27): Grimbreakers
SPP (111): Grimbreakers
Passing yards (6): Boney Bumpers
Rushing yards (260): Albion Itinerants
Blocks (366): Los Angeles Ramseses
Fouls (35): Redgum's Ravagers
Blocks/Cas (9.37): Grimbreakers
Pass/Cp (0.60): Plague Banebringers
Kills (?, ?? spp): ???

Conferences:
Turns (1157): Freedom Foulers
Completions (15): Mexican Standoff
TDs (15): Mandatory Happiness & Blackwater Picaroons
Cas (25): SWL Dorruks
SPP (129): Blackwater Picaroons
Passing yards (85): Mexican Standoff
Rushing yards (286): Blackwater Picaroons
Blocks (403): Miscatonic Misadventures
Fouls (65): New Blacktown Expatriots
Blocks/Cas (10.46): Blackwater Picaroons
Pass/Cp (5.67): Mexican Standoff
Kills (?, ?? spp): ???

Premier:
Turns (1029): Styx and Warpstones
Completions (9): Ostland Horns
TDs (14): Styx and Warpstones
Cas (25): Styx and Warpstones
SPP (131): Styx and Warpstones
Passing yards (9): Styx and Warpstones
Rushing yards (256): Styx and Warpstones
Blocks (330): Ophidian Infidels
Fouls (41): Styx and Warpstones
Blocks/Cas (7.60): Styx and Warpstones
Pass/Cp (2.67): Ophidian Infidels
Kills (4, 30spp): Styx and Warpstones

P: No mention of the plagues, Terence?

T: Emisaries of Papa Nurg insist that there is nothing to worry about, and also that sharing is caring.

P: I, um, why is anyone asking Papa Nurg?

T: On to the Stunty Cone!

Image The Unofficial Maester Whippy Stunty Cone
Image Lemon Sweetpea (Munchausen Moonrakers) 20 spp
Image The Unofficial Maester Whippy Dean Douglas Sundae
Image Deeptuber Strongbough (Scatterbrook Tardigrades) 19 spp

P: Season for the Halflings, there, and not a Goblin in sight of it.

T: Teamwork, Phillip, that's Goblin strength, and battling over who gets to foul more.


The SWL Season XC Awards

P: But outstanding players are what we're here for, Terence.

T: That's what I said, Phillip, outstanding team players, like these in the regions!

Regional:
Image Image Rebecca Razzia (Albion Itinerants) & Image Lavender (Flower Beard) & Image Grootrel Silverforged (Grimbreakers) 6 TDs
Image Image Deeptuber Strongbough (Scatterbrook Tardigrades) & Image Orchid (Flower Beard) 8 Cas
Image Image Softacorn Gentlebeard (Scatterbrook Tardigrades) 114 Turns
Image Image Lavender (Flower Beard) 153 rushing yards
Image Image Theodore "Jerky" Oligorp (Latent Talent) 6 pass yards
Image Image Grarmud Boneshard (Redgum's Ravagers) 16 fouls
Image Image Colin Canterbury (Latent Talent) 60 blocks
Image Image Theodore "Jerky" Oligorp (Latent Talent) 6 cps
Image Image Deeptuber Strongbough (Scatterbrook Tardigrades) 5.63 block/cas
Image Image Theodore "Jerky" Oligorp (Latent Talent) 1.00 pass/cp

Image Image Rebecca Razzia (Albion Itinerants) & Image Lavender (Flower Beard) & Image Grootrel Silverforged (Grimbreakers) & Image Puddles (Bony Bumpers) 26 SPP

T: There's our big sundae boy, and a good few others, dwarfs, elves, humans, and, of course, a goblin.

P: Well, it was a fouling award.

T: Indeed, Phillip, indeed.

Conferences:
Image Image Aubrey Uranus (Blackwater Picaroons) 8 TDs
Image Image Eisheth Stiletto (Killer Heelz) & Image Maleficent Lenestar (Blackwater Picaroons) & Image Takeshi (SWL Dorruks) 8 cas

Image Image Aubrey Uranus (Blackwater Picaroons) 179 rushing yards
Image Image Bruce Deans (Amateur Professionals) 58 pass yards
Image Image Charli (New Blacktown Expatriots) 41 fouls
Image Image Takeshi (SWL Dorruks) 78 blocks
Image Image Bruce Deans (Amateur Professionals) 14 cps
Image Image Michael Scott (Scranton Business Park) 4.86 block/cas
Image Image Emilio Ferrano (Mexican Standoff) 6.38 pass/cp

Image Image Aubrey Uranus (Blackwater Picaroons) 27 SPP


T: And speaking of team players, one team's players has dominated the Twahns.

P: Was it the premier champs, Terence?

T: That it was, Phillip, bunch of disgusting little rats and goblins and then some. Love it.

Premier:
Image Image Atlas (Styx and Warpstones) 11 TDs
Image Image Thanatos (Styx and Warpstones) 13 cas Image
Image Image Hydra (Styx and Warpstones) & Image Brick Boyd (Turbo Wolves) 106 turns
Image Image Atlas (Styx and Warpstones) 184 rushing yards
Image Image Aegle (Styx and Warpstones) 9 pass yards
Image Image Melaina (Styx and Warpstones) 29 fouls
Image Image Thanatos (Styx and Warpstones) & Image Aten (Ophidian Infidels) 67 blocks
Image Image Hermann Gemmel (Ostland Horns) 8 cps
Image Image Thanatos (Styx and Warpstones) 5.15 block/cas
Image Image Aegle (Styx and Warpstones) 2.25 pass/cp

Image Image Atlas (Styx and Warpstones) 33 SPP

P: Eight twahns for the Styx!

T: Ten, Phillip!

P: That's what I said, Terence, ten!

T: Gotta be some all-stars in there, rumor is they're all still partying after that performance, and no one's expecting them to make the filing deadline for next season at this point. Tragic really, but, opens things up for more goblins.

P: Perhaps the ones with Black Orcs in them, Terence?

T: Or Big Uns, bound to be a Troll though, they do love Goblins.

P: Congratulations to the winners! Nom nom nom.

T: Hey! That's still not funny. Come on now. Poor Kickbacks.

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tussock



Joined: May 29, 2011

Post   Posted: Apr 01, 2022 - 10:27 Reply with quote Back to top

The Season 90 All Stars. Image

With the league in it's 2nd season of it's newest recovery plan, officials have announced an all star team has been named. Congratulations to the chosen few.

Image Cthonian They say it's easy in the regions, but the beast's dominance on the line set up their team for a run of excellence rarely seen from young Nurgs. One to watch out for in the conferences after the Miskatonic Misadventures creamed their opponents game after game.

Image Mogak Trollfist The quiet achiever of the premier winning Dirrty Duzzin, played every turn of their victorious season, tanking the hits again and again, and celebrated by retiring early. Prem ring and done, why not, rightful champion.

Image Shadowleaf Another excellent lineman for the allstars, crushing his little team-mate's opponents with ease and getting the speed to chase them when they think better of it too. Absolutely no one wants to be on the line against this big boy.

Image Baugar Not that this berserker cared about the treeman, spending all game hunting said little ones and scoring a fistful of casualties in one game for his efforts. Not a bad season outside that game and all.

Image The Ticker was a steady accumulator all premier, one after another, like some sort of regular time piece function. Turned it up to 11 so everyone could hear. Tick, tick, tick, time's up the conference teams next.

Image Buck Shelford How do elves even win hitting awards, they say. What is going on here? Dedication to the practice, is what it is. Pure, mean-spirited, vengeance for what the other team is always doing to the elves. Get them before they get you.

Image Flee-Sulk bagged a stack of touchdowns in premier division, coming within a whisker of the title in the coach's first appearance. They were in it to the end, and so, so close, just not to be after a magical season of keeping the ball away from the best sackers in the SWL.

Image Thanatos was farming like he needed the fans to pull the claws out of his wrists with the constant chants of his name. Who knows, maybe he was, there's definitely claws there now headed to prem, but he's in here for running up the scores in confs more than his hitting.

Image The Grandfather travelled further with the ball than anyone else in the SWL all season, and what better in the all star team than someone who can reliably chase down the fastest ball carriers, and then be so hard to get it back off of when he claims it. Look out confs.

Image Emilio Ferrano The dominant throwing arm in the SWL by streets. Massively better throwing than anyone else got close to, and well, it may not have got them the wins, but the all stars is about the stand outs as much as performance, and any coach would have Emilio throwing for them.

Image "Overfriendly" Fructose Overdose kicked up a storm in the confs, mutilating and killing a few players through the season, and what better thing for a goblin to put his time to. If he could just be a bit sneakier about it, the team might have more money for the other weapons on the squad, maybe win some more!

--

Prem Stars
Flee-Sulk - Hell's Mischief
Sprint-Steal - Hell's Mischief
Sick Bubblegum - Call of the Zombie
The Grandfather - Minutes or Centuries
The Ticker - Minutes or Centuries
Felix Bressart - Ostland Horns
Phantom Stranger - Call of the Zombie
Hermann Gemmel - Ostland Horns
Fritz Berger - Ostland Horns
Mogak Trollfist - Dirrty Duzzin
Mash Flingchopper - Dirrty Duzzin

Confs Stars
Thanatos - Styx and Warpstones
Kate "the Claw" Chaney - Turbo Wolves
Tarik - Ophidian Infidels
Gotham Green - Pitch Painters
Baugar - Banner of the Black Stag
Buck Shelford - Amateur Professionals
Shadowleaf - Munchausen Moonrakers
Emilio Ferrano - Mexican Standoff
"Overfriendly" Fructose Overdose - Lobrot Asylum
Heavy Git - Gits and Shiggles
Early Retirement - Mandatory Happiness

Rising Stars
Creed Batton - Scranton Business Park
Hound of Tindalos - Miskatonic Misadventures
Dmitri Maslow - Lone Lada
two horns - Talons of the Warp
Michael Scott - Scranton Business Park
Cthonian - Miskatonic Misadventures
Deep One - Miskatonic Misadventures
Petya Petroff - Lone Lada
Hunter - Scranton Business Park
Dunwich Horror - Miskatonic Misadventures
Gorzar Rat-eater - Redgum's Ravagers

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Wozzaa



Joined: Apr 23, 2016

Post   Posted: Mar 23, 2022 - 09:26 Reply with quote Back to top

Season 91 Late Draft

buuface: Human

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Wozzaa



Joined: Apr 23, 2016

Post   Posted: Mar 23, 2022 - 07:19 Reply with quote Back to top

SWL Season 91 Draft

wintergreen13: Elven Union
tribalsinner: Dwarf
Plonkl: Necromantic Horror
oozeboss: Snotlings


Late Draft Options:
Elven Union, Norse, Imperial Nobility, Khorne, Lizardmen, Wood Elf, Chaos Renegades, Ogre

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Last edited by Wozzaa on Mar 23, 2022 - 09:27; edited 1 time in total
tussock



Joined: May 29, 2011

Post   Posted: Mar 23, 2022 - 00:59 Reply with quote Back to top

The Awards Show!
With T & P.

P: Our first premier champions of the new era are here, and who would've ever picked greenskins?

T: I was picking goblins years ago, Phillip, it's about time a team of them won prem.

P: Bigger greenskins, Terence.

T: The Black Orcs are also part of some Goblin teams, yes.

P: No, the other ones, though they did have a few goblins, so, fair enough, well predicted.

The SWL XC Team Achievements

T: The clerks were down with something, but the survivors have come back strong, who even fears the Nurgs about the place these days.

Regional:
Turns (1187): Miskatonic Misadventures
Completions (16): Blackwater Rocky Road Warriors
TDs (12): Blackwater Rocky Road Warriors
Cas (30): Blackwater Rocky Road Warriors
SPP (147): Blackwater Rocky Road Warriors
Passing yards (22): Skye Babes
Rushing yards (227): Scranton Business Park
Blocks (360): Miskatonic Misadventures
Fouls (42): Redgum's Ravagers
Blocks/Cas (7.90): Blackwater Rocky Road Warriors
Pass/Cp (4.33): Celtic Ruin
Kills (?, ?? spp): ???

Conferences:
Turns (1156): Styx and Warpstones
Completions (11): Amateur Professionals
TDs (14): Turbo Wolves
Cas (20): Lobrot Asylum
SPP (110): Amateur Professionals
Passing yards (69): Mexican Standoff
Rushing yards (279): Turbo Wolves
Blocks (374): Freedom Fouler
Fouls (52): Lobrot Asylum
Blocks/Cas (11.87): Pitch Painters
Pass/Cp (7.67): Mexican Standoff
Kills (?, ?? spp): ???

Premier:
Turns (1133): Ostland Horns
Completions (6): Ostland Horns
TDs (12): Hell's Mischief
Cas (23): Blackwater Picaroons
SPP (103): Blackwater Picaroons
Passing yards (9): Zealots of Change
Rushing yards (235): Hell's Mischief
Blocks (314): Minutes or Centuries
Fouls (32): Ostland Horns
Blocks/Cas (8.68): Blackwater Picaroons
Pass/Cp (2.00): Hell's Miscief
Kills (?, ??spp): ???

P: Hopefully our coaches avoid whatever's going around.

T: I'm sure there's a couple of Nurgle teams just want more of it.

P: Eeeew. So, Is there a stunty cone?

T: Of course there is, for dynamite teams!

Image The Unofficial Maester Whippy Stunty Cone
Image Gotham Green (Pitch Painters) 18 spp
Image The Unofficial Maester Whippy Dean Douglas Sundae
Image Michael Scott (Scranton Business Park) 14 spp

P: Is that big guy Sundae going to the right player?

T: He wanted it, he gets it, Phillip, hush.


The SWL Season XC Awards

T: Solid turnout of new teams in the Regionals, guess who's the rising stars, eh?

P: That's the other show, Terence, this is the Twahns.

T: That's what I said! Onto the Twahns!

Regional:
Image Image Strezzar (Khornacopia) & Image Hound of Tindalos (Miskatonic Misadventures) 6 TDs
Image Image Michael Scott (Scranton Business Park) 7 Cas

Image Image Hound of Tindalos (Miskatonic Misadventures) 151 rushing yards
Image Image Carmen Miranda (Skye Babes) 16 pass yards
Image Image Hunter (Scranton Business Park) 18 fouls
Image Image Valmanek (Khornacopia) 69 blocks
Image Image Willow Barkley (Blackwater Rocky Road Warriors) 10 cps
Image Image Meh “The Awfully Medi-Ogre” (SupercalifrgilisticxpaliOgre) 2.80 block/cas
Image Image The Morrigan (Celtic Ruin) 4.33 pass/cp

Image Image Strezzar (Khornacopia) 25 SPP

T: The new Khorne worshippers making their mark on the SWL pitch, and the other teams.

P: Absolutely bloodthirsty, but taking a few good hits themselves.

T: Hopefully keeps them trim and not killing everything in sight.

Conferences:
Image Image Kate 'The Klaw' Chaney (Turbo Wolves) 7 TDs
Image Image Buck Shelford (Amateur Professionals) & Image Baugar (Banner of the Black Stag) 9 cas
Image Image Heavy Git (Gits and Shiggles) 113 turns & ImageSurprising Git (Gits and Shiggles) 113 turns
Image Image Gotham Green (Pitch Painters) 177 rushing yards
Image Image Emilio Ferrano (Mexican Standoff) 64 pass yards
Image Image Overfriendly Fructose Overdose (Lobrot Asylum) 35 fouls
Image Image Shadowleaf (Munchausen Moonrakers) 78 blocks
Image Image Emilio Ferrano (Mexican Standoff) 8 cps
Image Image Vic Sponge (Munchausen Moonrakers) 2.34 block/cas
Image Image Emilio Ferrano (Mexican Standoff) 8 pass/cp

Image Image Thanatos (Styx and Warpstones) 35 SPP


T: And our first premier since the ... well, best left unsaid, eh, knock wood, throw salt, turn circles ...

P: Not like you to be suspicious, Terence.

T: Still, new premier, and who won it but Goblins, eh, so I'm not suspicious, just foresightful.

Premier:
Image Image Flee-Sulk (Hell's Mischief) 6 TDs
Image Image The Ticker (Minutes or Centuries) 11 cas
Image Image Mogak Trollfist (Dirrty Duzzin) 114 turns
Image Image The Grandfather (Minutes or Centuries) 164 rushing yards
Image Image Paul Atreides (Zealots of Change) 9 pass yards
Image Image Fritz Berger (Ostland Horns) 28 fouls
Image Image The Ticker (Minutes or Centuries) 73 blocks
Image Image Hermann Gemmel (Ostland Horns) 6 cps
Image Image Howling Man (Call of the Zombie) 5.67 block/cas
Image Image Paul Atreides (Zealots of Change) 1.8 pass/cp

Image Image Flee-Sulk (Hell's Mischief) & Image The Ticker (Minutes or Centuries) 22 SPP

P: I don't see any goblins outside that disturbing little chap in the conferences. Quite a show from the halflings though.

T: It's the quiet achievers that win prem, phillip, that rookie Big Un, just tanking the hits all season, and now declaring he'll be the team's next ball carrier! See how that works out for him come the redraft, eh.

P: At least he'll leave with the Touchstone Heart to his name, right Terence?

T: Right indeed, Phillip. What a season, our second greenskin champs, proper Goblins playing midfield in premier, skavens pipped at the post, and mixed goblin-skaven taking them out at the last. Goblins! Glorious.

P: And the Orcs too, congratulations to all the Twahnlow winners.

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tussock



Joined: May 29, 2011

Post   Posted: Jan 24, 2022 - 07:38 Reply with quote Back to top

The T&P Show

P: There's no twahns for the trials, but if there was!

The Trials:
ImageTopaz (Born to Rock) & ImageGudrun Ophelia (Zenana) 6 TDs
ImageMorg 'n' Thorg (Zenana) 8 cas
ImageGudrun Ophelia (Zenana) 115 turns
ImageGudrun Ophelia (Zenana) 131 rushing yards
ImageIovain Noke (Lone Lada) 14 pass yards
ImageHalser Springpot (Scatterbrook Tardigrades) 13 fouls
ImageMain Screen (All Your Balls) 63 blocks
ImageIvy Sprywood (Blackwater Rocky Road Warriors) 10 cps
ImageWalter Looeast (Know Your Station) 4.25 block/cas
ImageIovaine Noke (Lone Lada) 2.8 pass/cp

ImageGudrun Ophelia (Zenana) 24 SPP

T: Blooding teams near completely dominant in the Trials, as it should be. Zenana's Goodrun Ophelia being one to watch out for as she quickly grows in skill, and being the mainstay of the team's run to take the Bloody Cup.

P: Congrats to Zenana, now on with the main show, SWL kicks off late tonight! Go the High Elves!

T: Not even any High Elves in prem, Phillip.

P: Not yet, you mean, Terence, you just watch this season!

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ImageImage
tussock



Joined: May 29, 2011

Post   Posted: Dec 20, 2021 - 08:02 Reply with quote Back to top

The Awards Show!
With T & P.

P: It's all conferences Terence!

T: A few teams managed to gather some new players for the league, Phillip, most said goodbye. But the league is bigger than it's been in years, 50 teams competing, with rumours of more missing out for lack of forms.

P: But it's all conferences!

T: Yes, that is the tradition, after the great war, the great collapse, and the last one (don't mention the plague), ... wait, does that imply a fourth one on the way?

P: Don't say that, Terence! We're just getting started! Tell us who stood out from these young go-getters.

The SWL LXXXIX Team Achievements

T: The clerks have been toting up the books once more, rumours of improper fielding of extra players are scandalous nonsense and will not be entered into, and also the rules committee are expecting a change there too.

Conferences:
Turns (1194): Zealots of Change
Completions (16): Kingdom Decay (SWL)
TDs (16): Zealots of Change
Cas (24): Gits and Shiggles
SPP (79): Gits and Shiggles
Passing yards (80): Mexican Standoff
Rushing yards (260): Hell's Mischief
Blocks (391): Turbo Wolves
Fouls (45): New Blacktown Expatriates
Blocks/Cas (11.60): Pitch Painters
Pass/Cp (6.67): Mexican Standoff
Kills (?, ?? spp): ???

P: Huge group to conquer for the teams who went all out for farming their special talents. Some smaller than usual with the field of young players, some quite a bit larger with the new rules.

T: That underworld team is a disgrace.

P: They're fabulous, and could do well in prem, give or take for the Goblins.

T: I refuse to admit Goblins have made prem, it makes no sense! These rules need a good looking at if you ask me.

Image The Unofficial Maester Whippy Stunty Cone
Image Gotham Green (Pitch Painters) 22 spp
Image The Unofficial Maester Whippy Dean Douglas Sundae
Image Yog, Master of the Spoon (Git Dynasty) 18 spp

P: A snotling! That must be first.

T: He's even beaten all the Skinks, though they're still rightly disqualified. No one likes Lizardmen.


The SWL Season LXXXIX Awards

T: Fifty teams. Amazing stuff.

P: So many games, so many chances to pass this tricky new floaty ball, who had the courage to throw it long, surely a High Elf!

T: It's always a High Elf, Phillip.

Conferences:
Image Image Giuseppe Garibaldi (Zealots of Change) 10 TDs
Image Image The Ticker (Minutes or Centuries) 11 cas
Image Image Umug Ratbasher & ImageOrok Flingthar (Dirrty Duzzin) 116 turns
Image Image 3rd Umpire (ERGH [Ex Ref Gobbo Hitskwad]) 177 rushing yards
Image Image Emilio Ferrano (Mexican Standoff) 79 pass yards
Image Image Ivar (New Blacktown Expatriates) 21 fouls
Image Image Robespierre (Zealots of Change) 74 blocks
Image Image Femme Fatale (Kingdom Decay (SWL)) 16 cps
Image Image Fritz Berger (Ostland Horns) 1.34 block/cas
Image Image Emilio Ferrano (Mexican Standoff) 7.19 pass/cp

Image Image Giuseppe Garibaldi (Zealots of Change) 34 SPP


T: Underworld! That horrible combination of Skavens and Goblins has proven half way unstoppable. Up there with the acknowledged powerhouses of modern Blood Bowl, Skaven, Undead, Pro Humans, the Green Tide, Amazons, and Chaos Dwarfs!

P: I like how you snuck Orcs and Goblins into one there, Terence, but they've made it up seperately!

T: Madness! Goblins have never even made premier before. History is kind to Undead teams in these early premier, but also to the rest of them, with solid starting skills on these rosters. Surely the Minutes or Centuries have the best tools, but with the new low-tackling allowed on the big boys, well, the bigger they are, the harder they fall. Even a Bull Centaur is more easily bought down now trying to save the day.

P: Make enough holes, like The Ticker was doing all season, well, who even needs to dodge?

T: We shall see, the golden Twahnlows are back on the table early next year, there's a raging Trial of Blood on for some new teams looking to enter, polishing their skills before hitting the regions, and rumor is some old team's players may have even snuck off to the Deserted Isles to try to make something of themselves.

P: If they wanted to make a real legend of themselves, Terence, it was the SWL they needed to be in. These young stars are well on the way.

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tussock



Joined: May 29, 2011

Post   Posted: Oct 08, 2021 - 07:23 Reply with quote Back to top

The Awards Show!
With T & P.

P: Big news Terence! There's some sort of huge clerical error accessing the book of faces and the players have had enough!

T: Spreading unsubstantiated rumours is not what the awards show is for, Phillip.

P: I, but, news!

T: This awards show is for the permanent record of our top performances in the SWL.

P: Oh, fine then, tell us who was best this season, even if it was their last!

The SWL LXXXVI Team Achievements

T: We pay our snotling clerks well, and the troll enforcers hardly need to eat any of them this season, certainly not all of them.

Regional:
Turns (1139): Silent Sydney
Completions (14): Count Homogenised's Mōkai & Feyenoord Rotterdamned
TDs (17): Zealots of Change
Cas (24): Redgum's Repugnance
SPP (130): Zealots of Change
Passing yards (84): Mexican Standoff
Rushing yards (253): Zealots of Change
Blocks (360): Silent Sydney
Fouls (37): Zealots of Change
Blocks/Cas (13.70): Redgum's Repugnance
Pass/Cp (6.45): Mexican Standoff
Kills (?, ?? spp): ???

Conferences:
Turns (1130): Chaos All Sorts
Completions (20): Amateur Professionals
TDs (15): Amateur Professionals
Cas (27): Heroes Before the Fall
SPP (130): Heroes Before the Fall
Passing yards (123): Amateur Professionals
Rushing yards (246): Har Ganeth Hellbores
Blocks (375): Blue Mountain Giants
Fouls (36): Heroes Before the Fall
Blocks/Cas (9.30): Banner of the Black Stag
Pass/Cp (6.15): Amateur Professionals
Kills (?, ?? spp): ???

Premier:
Turns (1118): Bronzed Raiders
Completions (7): Ouch in a Pouch
TDs (13): Bronzed Raiders & Cult of the Firedrake
Cas (24): Crazy Beard Express & Cult of the Firedrake
SPP (87): Bronzed Raiders
Passing yards (31): Ouch in a Pouch
Rushing yards (245): Bronzed Raiders
Blocks (333): Cold Rock
Fouls (30): Crazy Beard Express
Blocks/Cas (8.35): Styx αnd Warpstones
Pass/Cp (4.43): Ouch in a Pouch
Kills (?, ??spp): ???

P: It's a team effort, and many of the teams will of course be returning, despite the news.

T: Don't interrupt the Mr Whippy part, Phillip.

P: It's my job to provide you with softball questions, Terence, stop being mean about it.

T: We've been asked not to talk about the news! Stop asking me about it.

Image The Unofficial Maester Whippy Stunty Cone
Image Leo Rumster (Pipton Picnickers) 15 spp
Image The Unofficial Maester Whippy Dean Douglas Sundae
Image Cah (Concussion Protocol) 19 spp

P: No wonder Leo's leaving, lifetime supply of cones!

T: Shush, Phillip, it's time for the Twahns!


The SWL Season LXXXVI Awards

T: It was one huge party in the regionals again, fourteen teams setting a record for participation in one pool. Maybe this is what the problem was?

P: I thought we weren't speculating?

T: On with the show, then! Silenty Sydney winning the tournament, but no show offs in that squad.

Regional:
Image Image Valerie Page (Zealots of Change) 8 TDs
Image Image Detestation (Redgum's Repugnance) 9 cas
Image Image Decjuba Belt (Killer Heelz) 114 turns
Image Image Gangrene Greg (Redgum's Repugnance) 150 rushing yards
Image Image Christiano Alonso (Mexican Standoff) 53 pass yards
Image Image Swabbie (Social Distance) 8 fouls
Image Image Cherrytwig (Pipton Picnickers) 75 blocks
Image Image Willy Winger (Olde Skye United) 9 cps
Image Image Rocky Balboa (Zealots of Change) 5.75 block/cas
Image Image Christiano Alonso (Mexican Standoff) 7.58 pass/cp

Image Image Óli Johansen (Bear Island Berserkers) 25 SPP & Image Valerie Page (Zealots of Change) 25 SPP


T: Amateur Professionals and Chaos All Sorts winning the two conferences, totally different approches to the game there, but shows any team can make prem in the SWL. Any team at all. There is no secret hidden rule preventing the Chaos All Sorts making prem, for instance.

P: Certainly not, Terence. Scandalous rumors, those.

T: And not at all true.

Conferences:
Image Image John Kirwan (Amateur Professionals) 9 TDs
Image Image Duluk Zombieeagle (SWL Dorruks) 11 cas
Image Image Bedlam (Chaos All Sorts) 114 turns
Image Image Disorder (Chaos All Sorts) 163 rushing yards
Image Image David Kirk (Amateur Professionals) 119 pass yards
Image Image Krycek (Federated Fowlers) 20 fouls
Image Image Enthusiasm (Heroes before the Fall) 87 blocks
Image Image David Kirk (Amateur Professionals) 14 cps
Image Image Egill Þrasison (Banner of the Black Stag) 3.88 block/cas
Image Image David Kirk (Amateur Professionals) 8.5 pass/cp

Image Image John Kirwan (Amateur Professionals) 33 SPP


T: Play Fetch, Loec's Loggers, and Cold Rock were all in it to the end, but Brozed Raiders took out the final game to take their fourth premier title, off the back of an amazing cut-through play by Kofaer that couldn't quite be matched by Diana Wynn Jones. Questions have been asked about the agility and speed of these players for a while now, and the poor snotlings trying to keep up with their records ... is it any wonder?

Premier:
Image Image Kofaer (Bronzed Raiders) 10 TDs
Image Image Cronus (Styx αnd Warpstones) 13 cas
Image Image Talltrunk Leafbringer (Loec's Loggers) 115 turns
Image Image Stampede (Crazy Beard Express) 161 rushing yards
Image Image Torduken (Bronzed Raiders) 22 pass yards
Image Image Splat (Crazy Beard Express) 19 fouls
Image Image Cronus (Styx αnd Warpstones) 93 blocks
Image Image Torduken (Bronzed Raiders) & Image Theseus (Styx αnd Warpstones) 5 cps
Image Image Marrahki Daemonfire (Bronzed Raiders) 4.67 block/cas
Image Image Numb Bat-Bat (Ouch in a Pouch) 6 pass/cp

Image Image Kofaer (Bronzed Raiders) 31 SPP

T: Our predictions last season prooved, well, disturbingly accurate, Phillip. Should we try again?

P: Ooh, well, what if one was to predict a mass player strike due to clerks stealing all their wages and the entire lot of the sacked due to disturbing contract clauses that prevent them playing ever again?

T: Almost like you're predicting a complete rewrite of the rules for player's funds, the rules of the game, the rules for blocking, fouling, passing, money management, and who knows what else?

P: Almost, yes. Wouldn't that be amazing if we were so close to being accurate once more, Terence?

T: Surely impossible to guess that well, Phillip, why, such a thing would've only happened a couple times before in all the history of SWL.

P: Third time's the charm, Terence?

T: We may not see the likes of the stacks of agility boosts on teams that won their divisions this season, if that's all true, Phillip. Who knows.

*SWL remains awesome, come get some, mega-draft on the 13th.

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