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jordinoboy



Joined: Sep 11, 2016

Post   Posted: Apr 30, 2017 - 15:51 Reply with quote Back to top

James Ord III was a vampire, and frankly a rather crap one, he was barely 4 centuries old and not exactly the most powerful or well known, he was a sad man with no redeeming qualities and a crippling fear of whips. he was clever but not so much as to make him anything but just unlikeable.

What he was good at though was getting into trouble, and now he owed some people a lot of money, mostly though no direct fault of his own. He was given two choices, get staked or give the group he had upset entertainment and open a bloodbowl team out of his own meagre coffers.

So now the 6 foot vampire was sat behind a stand that looked like a 6 year old had made it, it had a banner on reading "blood bowl team sign ups". Wearily the vampire ran a hand through his long, thin deep brown hair then rubbed the forehead of his gaunt androgynous pale face. He didn't like this, not at all. Looking out over the field of the Bloodbowl arena that had been built on the cheap he sighed, there was a small crowd, but he didn't think it would fill his roster even if he took all of them, it barely numbered a dozen.

"all right, you can come up" he said finally in a voice that although average in pitch seemed to rumble, like the owner had a sore throat. Nervously the vampire adjusted his cravat, it was badly tied but he had to look the part.

The first person to approach was a skeleton with a big purple robe. "nyah-ha-haaa!! II am heyre for the fooootbawl!" it laughed, in a highly pitched and hammy voice, like a terrible theatrical villain. "I will Tayke all the deayd for maaaaahy owwwwwn teaym!" he cackled lifting his arms and waving them in a way he hoped would seem mystical but just made him look stupid. "nyaaay am Skertol!"

James watched the skeleton, and jotted the name down as the skeleton left proudly, his snickering pet lizard following him, prompting the vampire to write down a plus one next to the skeleton's name.

The next creature that approached was a surprise, a goblin in rags and the remains of a night goblin cap crawled up to the desk and his face appeared up to the nose over the top and sniffed. "No has warpstone!" it wailed in a high pitch yet throaty, growly voice that could only come from repeated scaring on the insides. "Quax needs the precious, the tingle, the feel, yeees, the warpstone is precious needs it!" it complained, until suddenly perking up. "Good master can give warpstone yeees? Will stay around master, get warpstone." It chirped happily.


as the what could only be described as "creature" scurried around the desk looking for something to feed it's habit a dwarf with a what it probably thought was sexy thick bushy moustache and greased back hair walked up with a huge grin. "Stoneleg, PI" it introduced himself as, trying to act cool and sexy, it was a wasted effort as the team lacked any girls however. Happy that his name had been written by the increasingly more distressed vampire the dwarf then walked away to go get a real beer

next up to the stall to sign up, was a guffawing elf. "I'm Langour" he laughed again obnoxiously.

the vampire looked up and cocked an eyebrow. "why are you so h-" he started before he noticed the elf had looked away and was now laughing at the clouds.

"hey look, it's an onion! ahah ahah!" he laughed, walking away and coming up with pictures in the clouds. The vampire was left squinting at the cloud, looked more like a dead dwarf to him.

"ah-kuh" a frog like voice croaked, looking for some attention. after a few seconds more of the vampire squinting at the sky and trying to figure out where this flower the elf had seen was the frog-like voice tried again. "ah-k-RIBBIT!" it let out like a hiccup. this brought the vampires attention and he looked at the frog in front of him. it was a shortish slann proudly holding itself up to full height with a hand behind it's back.


"i am one Frojir Littlehop, and i am your new sta-RIBBIT!" -it let out again loudly breaking it's almost melodic cadence. it looked quite perturbed as it's lower jaw, neck and chest expanded until he looked stuffed with air, which then leapt out as a large ribbit almost knocking him off balance.


the vampire could barely keep from laughing, but luckily he wasn't massively emotive in the face, so it wasn't obvious. the frog glared for a moment as if daring the vampire to smile, when he didn't the frog stormed off out of embarrassment.

"I am batgoblin" came the growly tone of a goblin in a rather silly looking wing suit. It was attractive for a goblin, built more like a small ork with a large strong square jaw. "I am the night, the hope for all goblin kind!" it growled before hopping off, trying to take off with it's wing suit.

the next goblin to walk up smiled creepily. "I'm here to sign up for blood bowl, cause apparently that'll make a good chapter." turning towards us he smiled. "yeah, I'm calling you on it, it's a stupid idea, this'll never work, no-one will like it." then the goblin turned back to the vampire. "I didn't do anything of the sort and you know it, just write what I actually do okay, it's not that hard" the goblin laughed. "sorry about that, name's Waxid, the author writing this doesn't know what he's doing" the goblin teased, before leaving, he had better things to do.

the next player signing up was an older man with a pipe he was chewing on thoughtfully. he had a thick stubble on his chin and thick powerful forearms. "I yam pappy, you can put me down fer yer team, i'll bring some power to tha game! Agkagkagk!" he laughed, muttering through the pipe lightly.

the vampire was about to ask if he was still young enough to play, but the older looking man interrupted him. "I yam playing if you likes it or not, sos ya better be respektink yer elders." He warned, walking way to pick up one of the helms set aside.

"I am batgoblin, and these are my hammers of justice!" batgoblin called, popping into view again and lifting up his fists.


the vampire ignored him however and returned to looking over the applicants, only to fine a large sand golem it seemed like, watching him silently. it didn't breathe, it didn't move, just watched him, then it took a pen and wrote down one word: "Dunke" well, the d was backwards but you could tell what it was. then with the slow deliberate movements of a tectonic plate he moved away, moving so little it creeped out even the vampire.

"da boss said i was ta come and watch your fine establishment until things got moving and yous got da money flowing ya see." a threatening looking elf told the vampire, slickly putting his hand and by extension a large stake on the table, it was clear this was an offer you didn't refuse.

James knew what was good for him and put down Stakesies name, for fear of losing his life if he didn't. with that the large elf stood and walked away, spinning the stake round in his hands.

The vampire was visibly shaking as the next guy came up and laughed boisterously, it was a large strong looking man wearing a bearhead cloak. "I thought you could do with a hand, and a real man on your team, Don't want any of your guys to get hurt, i'm Torfdin!" the boisterous Norseman grinned and offered a hand, which the vampire took, the Norseman shook it so hard James thought his arm would be torn off but the vampire smiled anyway and used his other hand to write the huge man's name down. The Norseman smiled and walked away to go and talk to the other players and get some names.

it was getting down in numbers now the vampire told himself, twelve players, he'd be a bit low if he didn't bolster these ranks, it was barely one man more than a team. His thoughts were interrupted though by a voice. " Here bloodbowl to play i am!" the voice announced, then it sighed. "I'm here to play bloodbowl" he tried again, slower.

The vampire looked up to see a tiny pixie riding a small raptor. "And you are?" he asked, raising an eyebrow at the black, quilted doublet the Pixie war as he impressively flicked a hand through his hair.

"the Rider, Black Rottinham!" He announced proudly, posing atop the raptor that bucked lightly and screeched as if on cue.

"indeed" the vampire nodded jotting down the pixie's name and "w/ raptor" next to it

the rider smiled and kicked his heels, letting the raptor trot off again.

It was then the last player walked up, a rather quiet, almost shy goblin. "Do you still have a place? I'm Squicks I'd like to join up" it asked meekly.

"may I ask why?" The coach asked confused at such a request from the unfitting goblin.

"well I used to work for the royal goblin bank of the swamps, a-as an accountant, but I got fed up and decided I wanted something more entertaining, live life a little, you know" he let out happily clutching a little bowler hat, grinning inanely.

"Well if you're sure" the Vampire warned jotting down the name. 15, he managed it, it was hard to believe but somehow he had a full roster. He couldn't let any of the loonies go but he supposed starving vampires couldn't be chewsers.

Standing up the coach felt a hand on his shoulder. he froze in terror, it wasn't stakesie was it?

"James Ord?" a soothing female voice asked.

"the third" the vampire found himself correcting and turning to face the voice, then rather wishing he hadn't.

Before him stood an overly attractive wood elf with a large white and red striped Mohawk and huge . . . green eyes. she caught him staring but gave him a few seconds before frowning and grabbing the vampire's chin and forcing his eyes away from her abundant front and to her frankly breath taking face.

"am you who?" the vampire squeaked, the only bit of colour his face had seen in three centuries rushing to his cheeks as he tried to maintain eye contact.

The wood elf rolled her eyes, she had hoped this wouldn't happen, that was why she'd asked for a dead coach, a vampire was almost as bad as a human. placing a hand absent-mindedly over her neck as if protecting it she continued. "Yes, I'm your assistant, I'm here to make sure you understand all the rules and don't cheat as well as offer advice concerning protocols." she explained.

"so not a cheerleader?" the vampire asked, seeming disappointed, which only got him a rather cross slap.

"so do you have your team ready? if so we can start on Monday" She continued, as if nothing had happened.

while the vampire held his jaw in pain he nodded . "i'll see everyone Monday, you all made it on" he mumbled, he felt like it had been dislocated, however he smiled again dopily as he watched the elf from behind while she left, barely noticing as the regulation ogre body guard started moving the stall and managed to clout the vampire round the head with it, knocking him face first into the mud.

Monday would be an interesting experience.
jordinoboy



Joined: Sep 11, 2016

Post   Posted: May 01, 2017 - 01:00 Reply with quote Back to top

Interesting was one way to describe it, another would have been frightening. the team was a mess, they hadn't even started yet and there were problems, dunke was too large for his uniform and so only had a helm they had found, an old black orc helmet. Batgoblin wouldn't even wear the right uniform and the team had shown very basic knowledge of the sport and nothing more. Squicks had never even seen a match before.

Their coach stood to one side while the team had their breakfast in the mess hall. he was brooding sulkily into the sachet of blood he was drinking from, it was cheap stuff, only the tackiest vampires could handle but when you reached the level of incompetency that James had reached it was all you could afford. The coach thought back to his last attempt at feeding and winced, he was lucky that had grown back, that redhead had had a nasty kick.

He couldn't believe he'd got this ragtag group, he wasn't sure what he was expecting, but his unlife depended on this bunch of wierdos being somehow good at the sport, he couldn't teach them after all.

then the elf walked into the mess and James' eyes nearly popped out of his head, skin flushing red enough to make the pouch of blood he was sipping from look pale, he wasn't wearing the green shirt and thigh brown pants of casual wear today. she was wearing a bloodbowl uniform, or at least that was all it could be described as, her perfect shapely smooth legs and abundant curves stretched it to the very limits of decency, it should have covered her fine and been a little loose, but this elf had clearly never been able to wear anything loose in her life.

This was perfectly normal for her however and as she caught the coach she crossed her arms. "move your eyes monster or I'll remove them and make sure they don't regenerate. " she told him, she wasn't even so much annoyed as she was putting the vampire in his place, it was so cold and matter of fact the cold blooded creature shrunk away under it and shivered lightly.

He hurriedly turned to his team and cleared his throat so he didn't have to look into those horrible green pools. a normal man would only see the most beautiful verdant jewels, but the vampire had seen what she could do with them, their haunting beauty cut both ways.

The team all turned to face the coach, well, Langour was drawing something with a crayon but everyone else at least acknowledged their coach.

The vampire suddenly felt very insecure and adjusted his shirt. "alright, this is our first day and we need to find out how you guys work together, go over the basics and drill." the undead started, quickly loosing the interest of the team.

However the elf rolled her eyes and pushed the vampire aside, clapping hands together she smiled, drawing every eye too her. but in a second she changed, bellowing at the team. "GET UP LADIES AND OUT ONTO THE FIELD, YOU'RE DOING DRILLS, NOW!" she commanded. the team almost fell over themselves to obey and were quickly going out to the field. The she elf smirked at the vampire. "they're not your friends, you're not playing this for fun, they are a team, you pay them, command them." she told him coldly, before leaving.

The vampire remained alone for a few minutes brooding, then straightened up as much as he could muster and followed after the team. finding them sat on the reserves bench awaiting orders.

________________________________

The vampire approached and steeled himself, well, more tinned himself. "you all understand the rules yes?" he said sternly as he could manage. there was a murmur and a yes.

"right, I am Coach, Mr Ord. You will call me Coach or Sir. This is" then the vampires eyes opened wide, he hadn't asked, I'm sorry what was your name?

the elf smiled, a little, maybe she could straghten up the coach eventually. "Alrisea Larbrent" she told him, arms crossed, still waiting to see the coach cock up the simple act of explaining drills to the players.

The vampire nodded awkwardly, trying to hide that he was still so detracted by her body, it was kind of sad. "yes, and this is my assistant, Alrisea Largebreasts" the vampire smiled, before catching his mistake and then catching a backhand so harsh he was literally knocked clean off his feet.

Giving the vampire an added swift kick in the back with her cleats both out of habit of playing the sport and just in case he had meant to say that, the Elf scowled back at the team, who had all frozen in place, but she quickly relaxed. "don't worry, so long as you don't act like this you're fine, but just call me Alrisea, I'm here to make sure he coaches you right." she explained. then pointed to the field and a set of dummies, I want you to split in half, half of you will practice tackling those dummies the others will perform passing and agility drills, this will go for two hours and then you'll switch so we can find out what you do best" she explained, letting the teams stand and go to do their drills.

Stepping on the vampire as she walked over to the teams Alrisea began to watch the players, making notes of what they were good at, to assign positions to them.

_____________________________

Everybody got on with minimal chatting untill a couple of hours Torfdin pulled away from his strength drills and walked over to Waxid and Skertol, patting him on the back the norseman got the goblin's attention and began to talk to him about something then turned away. Almost immediately Waxid was back putting his all into it

Alrisea motioned Torfdin over but she didn't need to ask "I saw he was having a bit of trouble so I gave a little advice, nothing major, just didn't understand and was getting bored, poor guy" The tall strong norseman laughed as he walked over.

The elf nodded. "alright, why did it bother you he was getting bored?" she asked, holding her chin thoughtfully.

the large norseman laughed a bit awkwardly. "didn't wanna see the little guy get hurt, told him Skertol was a better blocker anyway, so the undead's job was stop him getting hurt on the field, that made the goblin feel a bit better humouring the guy with his passes. gotta be able to rely on your team mates" he grinned widely.

the elf nodded and laughed too, more honestly. "I think we have our captain then." she explained, patting Torfdin on the shoulder. She would have continued but she noticed that Langour was trying to eat his ball whole and rushed over to stop him.

________________________________

For the most part the Team was split into positions and ready to go to lunch by the time James had pulled himself together enough to get up off the floor, still holding his cracked ribs and the puncture marks.

to his horror the first thing he saw was stakesie approaching with a wooden box. placing it down at the coaches feet the elf oppened up the crate to reveal a large supply of warpstone. "you're gonna give dis to dat dere Night goblin, da boss sez you's to make sure he has a fun mutant ta watch. da goofs no good at da game naturally anyways so it's not likes it matters." he explained with a devious grin.

the vampire couldn't refuse, not directly anyway, these would at least keep the noisy goblin placated anyway.

After a few more hours, and a practice match the team was sent home for the day and James was left by himself to look over the list the elf had left him on her notes through the day. It was not an easy thing to get through, he didn't know enough about bloodbowl but he got the general idea, he just hoped she was right and they performed how she expected, their first game was coming up soon.
jordinoboy



Joined: Sep 11, 2016

Post   Posted: May 01, 2017 - 23:33 Reply with quote Back to top

James was still holding his bruised back which he popped trying to relieve the stress on it, while he sat at his uncomfortable wooden chair and creaky desk in an office that was honestly more of a closet.

Checking the mail the she-elf had bright in the vampire turned over one of the letters, a stamp with the word "OBBL" had been placed on it. James lifted an eyebrow, what was an obbl?

Turning the letter over and peeling up the back he pulled out the letter and read it, before looking blankly at the wall. they wanted his team to play an exhibition? he couldn't pass that up!

Jumping to his feet the vampire leapt over the desk and dashed onto the field where Alrisea was training the team. "We've been asked to an exhibition match, we need to go and play some guys from Steingart" he yelped.

The rest had been a blur of movement and soon the vampire as in his team's cart with everyone else.

____________________
The journey took about half a day and it was late evening, but they made it to their destination ready to play the next day. with the supplied coffers The vampire bought some rooms at a nearby inn and the team rested up.

___________________

The next day on the pitch everyone waited nervously until the allotted time, James watched the other coach from across the field as Alrisea encouraged the rest of the team. The vampire felt there was something strange about the way she stood with Torfdin, it wasn't just captain and coaching manager.

His thoughts however were interrupted by the whistle, it was time for first kick off.

The teams set up to bash, with the kick off being to the barriers. the team suddenly moved into action, the Vampire on the sidelines was quite impressed

Taking the left and right wings Torfdin and Pappy covered the more agile players While Rottingham and Quax covered the ball, the Pixie doing remarkably well at ignoring the mutterings of the goblin about how doing well would get it the precious warpstone. while the rest of the fielded players pushed up the center.

The team held together well as players moved to block them, a large golem on the opposing side clouting batgoblin halfway through him introducing himself. "I am bat-ugh!" being the resounding cry.

Leaping back to his feet Batgoblin took out one of the assists on the golem, badly hurting him enough that he spent the rest of the game nursing his nose. "The hammers of justice do not lay down villain!" he growled gruffly over the fallen human.

the team was pushed around a little but held strong for the most part, until Langour was distracted by a butterfly and giggling was tackled by an opposing player, who had expected more resistance and also face planted, drawing a few seconds of concern from all sides as Langour was pulled off the field.

taking advantage of this lull Batgoblin charged into the enemy ranks, followed silently by Dunke. On the left the team opened up a path with Torfdin jumping on a skink, trying to pin it and thumping to the ground with it.

As the Defence dove to the left trying to cover up Frogir was able to trip an elf player, knocking him out as the frog leapt at him from the left. while Quax dove on the skink, forcing it away so Rottingham could dive passed into the opponent's side of the field, while pappy pulled his back trying to tackle a fleeing player and hit the ground.

At that time a mutating dwarf dove at Bat goblin holding him up while a goblin ran at Rottingham. but managed to miss the fairy and hit his nose, knocking himself out.

Still Wresting and clawing at the Skink Quax left it sprawled on the ground while Frogjir tried to move to keep the opposition held up for Rottingham.

At the same time The dwarf was smashed to the ground by the hammers of justice and pappy pulled himself up, grumbling and brushing off his jersy he stormed back into the action. "I yam not out of dis yeckt!"

it wasn't long after this when a pained "Nyaaaaah!" was let out by Skertol and he was taken off the field in a stretcher, the opposing golem had hit him full strength.

Pappy stood next to the Opponent he had tried to tackle earlier and cracking his knuckles Smashed him to the ground with a mighty punch. then moving on he helped batgoblin get another swift hit, this time on a human who had got in his way.

The goblin did not smile though. "It is good to see you pappy, the hammers of justice need no help, but if you want to share the fun."

the older human laughed. "agkagkagk! if you insiskt" he agreed as they covered the opposing players they had just taken down.

While the batgoblin and Pappy were talking Frojir knocked out the skink finally and Torfdin smashed the mutant dwarf again. while raptor dove at a goblin, smashing into the ground as the greenskin dove out of the way.

Just as Rotting ham dived for a score the opposing golem smashed himself against Dunke who took the hit rather petter than his opponent, who knocked himself out for a moment or two.

Most of the simply unconscious players got themselves up and rejoined the pitch, there was only a few seconds till halftime but it was how the game was played so the teams set up a scrimmage again. and in the last few seconds the golem threw himself at bat goblin and the mutant dwarf tripped, trying to tackle dunke.

___________________________________________

the vampire was impressed and was beaming so wide it looked like his head would split in half. he hadn't realised the opposing team hadn't actually being paying full attention to the game until Alrisea stepped into full view, and it dawned on him. He suddenly felt much worse.

"My, you guys are doing great, well done. Especially you Torfdin, You're leading them like a pro, great score Rottingham." the she-elf congradulated them, she was smiling at Torfdin again, James wasn't sure why.

______________________________________________

after a few minutes of relief the vampire was alerted to the second half starting, they could still tie or lose! this could be terrible. he was about to say something but Alrisea was already guiding them onto the pitch and the undead had to hold his tongue.

the fans were all with the opposition however and Jeered at the barriers as they set up, giving the opposition a much needed moral boost.

This only helped for little while though and as the teams drove forward after a harsh first turn of hitting on the line the mutant dwarf dove for Batgoblin again in fury, this goblin was showing him up! both players were left on the ground but mostly unharmed. at the same time the Opposing ballman dove for the Skin and managed to drop it, letting the barriers break through to get raptor and stakesie next to the ball, keeping the ballman in place.

Rottingham was also moving towards the ball as Torfdin dove at a goblin, crushing his ribs and leaving him in no condition to play for a while and Torfdin a bit dazed. Off on the sideline Alrise went crazy though, bouncing happily. "you get them Torfdin!" she called happily, much to nearly every male in the stadiums approval as a seismic movement of elf fought against that tight jersey.

The Opposing team was also distracted by this display as while the golem managed a solid blow on pappy, batgoblin was run into by an opposing player and both crashed to the floor.

As a couple of players got in close to the ball and the three barrier players around it Stakesie smiled, eyeing up the sprite trying to cover him and booted the poor player heavily. While raptor was distracted and chased another player away. as the other players cleared a way through Frojir bounded over and with a powerful blow on the ballman freed up the ball, letting Rottingham dive after it and grab it from under the opposition's feet.

Enraged by the fairy the opponent golem tried to escape Batgoblin and get Rottingham, though the caped avenger managed to trip the golem heavily. sending it crashing to the ground. While at the same time Raptor caught up to and jumped on the player she was chasing and jumped on them, stunning the poor human.

It was then that Pappy received a strong hit, pulling his back again and leaving him stunned on the floor for a little while as the dwarf punched batgoblin again while he was dealing with the golem.

Another dwarf running tackled into Stakesie and left him prone, getting up and swearing at the dwarf. while Quaxid jumped on an opponent, clambering over his head and dragging the larger norseman to the ground and knocking him out, the goblin jumped off and giggled, singing to itself about the juicy rewards of warpstone it would get.

Getting himself up once more was batgoblin smashed by the dwarf Frenne Gilly, the mutant was getting very mad at the goblin and focusing solely on him.

There was some pushing but both teams were starting to equalise till the other dwarf and the opposing pixie tripped stakesie, leaving him on the floor. letting the pixie charge at Rottingham, while Stoneleg smashed the ballman, letting Frojir give chase. Rottingham managed to get the other Fairy away from him and was about to score but the fairy got Away from the slann and dove for Rottingham, missing and stunning himself as his jaw collided with the ground.

Giving Frenne a last punch Batgoblin stood square with the dwarf as the bell went and Rotting ham scored at the last second, brining the win and leaving the two teams to separate to Goblin and Dwarf.
_________________

a two nil victory! the entire team was ecstatic and with a huge smile The vampire said the closet thing to leadership he had yet. "you guys did great, drinks are on me tonight!" Much to the delight and cheers of the team.

Alrisea smiled as she hugged close to Torfdin. "they even voted you mvp, you guys have done great." she reaffirmed cheerily, leading the team mates out of the stadium.
jordinoboy



Joined: Sep 11, 2016

Post   Posted: May 05, 2017 - 23:20 Reply with quote Back to top

"we need a plan, I'm running low on money." a cultivated voice spoke calmly, it was a bretonnian voice, complete with fairly thick accent. the speaker had a hand on his bucket helm, avoiding the rampant horse crest on the top. It was spinning a gold coin in his fingers.

The smelly unwashed mass next to him frowned at the coin and scratched is stubble thoughtfully. "but Lord Redcobra, your father William has disowned you for being such a bloody coward" the slack peasant repeated the knight's father's own words back to him.

the Knight frowned and glared at his servant. "yes, and we know what happened to my brother Harry on his quest, yes, beheaded, not for me thank you. I know what my father said, but unlike you I have something between my ears. I just need a plan." he scolded, almost losing his calm demeanour. then he turned to look at the coin again. more crossly, glaring across at his servant a time or two.

"and that's a second score, right at end time, the Barriers go home with the win." a voice spoke, this drew the brettonian's attention to the magic mirror in the corner. it was a replay of a bloodbowl match a few days ago.

"hmm, Baldrip! I think I have an idea. we'll join their bloodbowl team, they'll have plenty of money from their wins, and if they're that good a team they'll be able to protect me, i'll be safe!" he chuckled, clutching the coin and sneering in pride.

"But I thought you hated bloodbowl, a lot of brawny morons throwing themselves at each other with no skill. " the peasant asked.

"no, why would I do that? the sport of kings, it's the role of a knight, to earn the grail playing bloodbowl!" he continued, trying to convince his servant.

"fair enough, could have sworn you refused and that's why your father kicked you out of castle Redcobra" the peasant agreed.

___________________

the knight strode confidently onto the barriers playing field with his helmet on and strode up to the wood elf overseeing the players.

"it's you lucky day, I am lord Redcobra, I saw your victory the other day and would like to offer my services for a price." he said smartly.

"I fought you said you was wantin' to take them for every penny they was werf and win back your father's respect with being the leading player in an otherwise pathetic rabble?" the Peasant asked confused at the sudden change in his master's personality.

"not quite baldrip, what I said was I'd make the other team wish they'd paid twice the price to lay for their side and show my father how it was done!" the lord turned smartly. The elf watched him with an eyebrow cocked, she didn't believe a word of the lord.

"Oh, can i help you?" James asked, finally making his appearance, walking over and clutching his hand after an unfortunate instance earlier when he'd tried to touch something he shouldn't.

"yes, I was hoping to join your amazing team, after all it would be an honour to join the soon to be great Langwiese Barriers!" he chortled happily

"well, I'll be glad to have you of course, after Skertol quit, he didn't like the game apparently, so we're two players down. sign them up at once, it's great to have such eager players!" the vampire agreed mirthily, blown away at his luck.

the elf sighed a bit as the vampire left again to get some ice. "what a clot, doesn't have a brain between his ears, I've seen Simian players with more intelligence." the brettonian sighed lightly, before smirking at his luck.

"must be easy to trick money out of?" he asked the elf who just smiled a little, she might like this Knight
jordinoboy



Joined: Sep 11, 2016

Post   Posted: May 10, 2017 - 01:09 Reply with quote Back to top

The first round of Obbl opened as as was to be expected James was part of the group sent to compete in the bastion stair challenge, and as was to be expected the teams were much tougher. the first game wasn't even a match, Squicks was killed, Torfdin seriously hurt his arm and Quax had had such a severe blow the mutant was left in a vegetative state, they'd never stood a chance.

The rest of the team hadn't done much better apart from batgoblin, who not only got mvp but the only real casualty too. he had been a beast on the field, smashing through players but not doing any serious damage quite a feat as most of the time it was three on one and he survived multiple fouls. James had been severely devastated and spent several days in his room, hanging from the ceiling, he refused to leave.

___________________

Meanwhile in the wastes a pair of halflings were dining on the corpse of a letter. "Bloody hell, they didn' tell me the armour would be fused to you fer'ever, makes eating a bit difficult" the taller halfling grumbled, trying to force the fort and the food through the slats in his helmet, nothing but blackness existing behind them, not even a hint of eyes.

"tender meat though" the smaller one admitted, he was dressed like a miniature norseman and looked perpetually angry, even went talking about the food. he scowled at it with a fierceness words couldn't do justice to, especially impressive with his 3'9 stature.

"and how am i goin' to piss in this? 'in't no flaps or holes or nuthin'!" he continued grabbing what in armour usually would have been a cod piece but here was just another piece of metal the greaves weren't boots, more like pants. There really was no way fluids were getting in or out.

"you were the one who asked for power from the blood god, and you got it, stop whining and eat your dinner" the other one told his friend.

as if on queue Khorne's voice boomed across the landscape, or at least it seemed to, he spoke directly into the halfling's brains. "A VAMPIRE AND HIS TEAM OF BLOODBOWLERS HAVE SACRIFICED TWO OF THEIR OWN FOR MY GLORY, YOU WILL REBUILD THEIR NUMBERS SO THEY CAN CONTINUE TO GIVE ME SKULLS AND BLOOD!" He demanded with blazing fury.

The armoured halfling stood and wiping off his helm of Bloodletter juice patted his friend on the shoulder. "of we go then" he reassured the smaller halfling.

_____________________

Back on the field Alrisea was seeing to Torfdin's arm, or at least, making it look like that's what she was doing, and missed the two halflings entering the arena and heading in towards the managers office. Where they knocked and waited, ignoring the blubbering coming from inside.

they waited a few seconds then knocked again, louder, but instead of waiting they walked straight in, swinging the door wide open. there was a thud, followed by a softer thud and a third thud that landed between the other two in volume. then appearing from behind the door stood a black bucket, with a suit under it, the suit lifted it's arms and some pale hands grasped the bucket and began to pull at it.

"dez is jus' greet! aye can' evan pool of zee been!" The bucket wailed before with a loud pop the Bucket came loose and shot across the room, revealing a red faced vampire with a broken nose. it grumbled and broke it's nose back into place and as the red grazes began to regenerate he turned to the halflings.

"vell, vat is it you're wantink!?" it snapped, before sighing then calming again. "what do you want?" it asked again, wrangling control of it's accent

The halflings watched the vampire for a few seconds. " we saw your match" eventually the smaller one said, frowning and glaring forward. "we've come to offer you the strenght of a pair of Chaos halfings." he continued.

"I didn't think halflings could be swayed by chaos powers?" the vampire asked curiously.

the larger halfling spoke first. "we weren't we searched them out, most halflings are fat and lazy, growing fat and playing games, they hate fighting. But I wanted power, so I brought my friend her and we came looking for Khorne's favour, it's rare but it happens" he explained as the smaller one smiled and nodded. "I am Godaran and this is Sodsi" He introduced himself.

"It's a type of pickle" Sodsi said simply, his glare daring the vampire to make a wisecrack.

James was a little smarter than this though and chose not to, it wouldn't have been a clever one anyway with him. "alright, I'll sign you up, feel free to go and join with the training session and I'll do the paper work." the vampire smiled with a huge, fake grin, waiting until the halflings left then slumping down on the table. "I hate this job"
jordinoboy



Joined: Sep 11, 2016

Post   Posted: May 23, 2017 - 00:01 Reply with quote Back to top

It was another bloody game, the barriers were unable to do much but bash away and mitigate a little damage, it wasn't easy and the tide of battle was against them taking out many skilled players first. Littlehop was killed but stacksie managed to kill another who foolishly charged him, though was hurt himself the most lasting damage was done to their opponents though as the barriers only had one injury that meant a player missing the next game, when Stoneleg took a kick in the pants

"dat was dissssskraceful!" the vampire bemoaned. "vat have you being teachink zem to dou?!" he demanded of his training instructor, his stress audible in his voice. "an you! torfdin, you barely did anyfing!"

the two sighed, then a few seconds later so did James. "look, I'm sorry, this is a stressful job, i have to be responsible. I'm glad your arm is better." he said, patting the slightly taller norseman on the shoulder.

then his attention turned to Alrisea, then down her shirt for a second before pulling back up. "they can kill well enough we need to train them to play better! alright?" he asked, then ushered them out. "i need to find a player to replace the frog." he grumbled lightly shutting the door and thinking to himself as behind the door the black shadow of Alrisea and Torfdin combined before moving out of sight towards the away team shower room.

after a minute or two James sighed again to himself and opened his office door, only to see a large ball of green material fall off the handle, lifting it it fell into the rough shape of a shirt, but massively deformed on one side dropping it he spotted something else, some sort of sling? lifting it up he saw it was pretty deformed too, some sort of vest? "what on earth?" he asked confused, it was warm, dropping it he shrugged and continued walking.

________________________________________________________

out in the deserts of Araby a young man walked cursing his luck. "oh, how could this thing happen? to be separated from my troop at the hands of this hot arid wasteland and not in the glory of battle. i-" he never managed to finish his sentence in a rather unimpressive poof of smoke he was gone.

________________________________

"wish i could be- . . . Oh my various gods" came the same voice as a some how even more pathetic poof of smoke signaled his arrival somewhere different. he was in a room, a fairly large one, it smelled of slightly damp rain forest, mixed with pungent fruit. he couldn't help but inhale deeply and sigh with a smile, barely noticing it's dulling effect. from the roof hung silk curtains and the only light was from two sun lights. the walls were smooth and painted sand yellow.

the Bedouin had never felt so blessed, was this heaven? as if to confirm he could see the form of an ample young woman showing from behind the curtains as a shadow. his jaw dropped as she threw her hair back and turned to face where he was. then a beautiful tanned olive hand slid through the curtains and beckoned forward with a long slender finger.

"o-of course" even from behind the curtain this was the most blessed figure of a woman he'd ever seen and was clearly not clothed, inviting him forward. Before this he could never have believed a figure like this could exist.

he walked forward slowly, disbelieving of his luck, this had to be a dream right. as he walked closer the shadow seemed to loom, it was huge, every step not only made the show look even more developed but larger? if he'd been in his right mind the Bedouin might have been scared, worried, but now he was addled by that scent and whatever magic laced this place, mind clouded by lust. as he got to the curtains he found them massive, towering maybe 50 feet above him, behind them sat his prize, looming almost as large above him, it had to be a trick of the light though? reaching out for the material the very ground opened up and the Bedouin was gone.

the air remained still for a moment then a behemothic female form thrust itself through the curtains "wheeeeere isssss heeeee?!" it hissed, behind the form, from the navel down was a huge snake, nearly 200 feet long. it's green eyes glanced around, the cold slits grew wide. it's meal had been stolen! the rage and noise of huge figures wailing shook the room.

___________________________________________

the vampire James Ord had been returning with it's meal when the roof above him opened and a dark skinned human fell through, smashing him in the back and sending both of them to the floor.

the Bedouin was the first to stand and held his head as he did. "where am i?" he asked, rather confused. this didn't last long as his confusion turned to panic! "where is she? nooo! where is she?!" he barked, he had been so close to her.

the coach groaned, chin still planted firmly on the ground. "you are in the languiese barrier's offices, looks like you were warped here somehow." he grumbled. "as for she, i haven't seen her."

"you a bloodbowl team?" he asked as pappy walked passed, grumbling and smoking.

"yeah I'm the coach, I'm looking for another player" the vampire admitted softly, rubbing his head, still dazed on the floor.

"hah, well good luck there my friend, no sane man would play that sport." the Bedouin giggled, however both males stooped dead as Alrisea snuck out off the locker rooms in front of them clad in her shorts and a woefully inadequate towel to grab her shirt before walking back into the locker room and locking it.

the silence continued for several seconds. "was that a wood elf?" eventually the Bedouin asked.

the vampire sat up and nodded. "she's the trainer." he explained.

there was more silence. "how do I join your team?"
mrt1212



Joined: Feb 26, 2013

Post   Posted: May 23, 2017 - 00:08 Reply with quote Back to top

Loving the write ups! Keep it up!
DeathRollerDAD



Joined: Oct 02, 2014

Post   Posted: May 23, 2017 - 08:02 Reply with quote Back to top

Brilliant last chapter
jordinoboy



Joined: Sep 11, 2016

Post   Posted: May 24, 2017 - 05:49 Reply with quote Back to top

a draw, in the final seconds their win was snatched away. even with that monster crab smashing against the team was pretty impressive, but that stupid armoured halfling had got himself missing the next game to heal, and on top of that he had the raptor hurt too.

After the game rottingham had just left, no word, nothing, he was just gone, raptor too. it wasn't for three days until they found the note he'd left, painted in 3 foot high letters on the wall of the stadium entrance. "suck it losers"

there was much dismay at the disappearance, mostly from James, who now had to find two players again.

"oh goodness gracious me! that looks soooo uncomfortable! you should remove it, it was not made for things bigger than your head, i do not know how you can cope!" an arabyan accent spoke. James was just coming round the corner in time to see the Bedouin soaring back and hitting the floor, sliding a few feet further before crashing into the wall seemingly very dazed.

Stepping over him to see Alrisea pulling her shirt back on properly and scowling the Vampire nodded, the Bedouin was a braver man than he.

"there's a zombie here to see you." she said in a voice dripping with poison to the vampire, then continued walking, booting the Bedouin in the side as she walked past.

a zombie? did he know any zombies? the Vamp wasn't sure, however he was going to go see anyway.

____________________
As he stepped out of the office section of the stadium he heard a familiar song, there wasn't a 'bowl fan who didn't know it. it didn't have a name, but it was a popular song with Norse and some of the less. . . .reputable teams, only known as "the one about the wench and the blitz" in civilized conversation. a disgusting song that involved where she got her ball scored. and went into just how attractive she was for several verses. including tasteful descriptions like "bigger than ork hands could manage", "overflowing vigorously" and how many men she attracted

"arrn so the bayl came off thar smallar" The voice warbled, it was the voice of someone who'd drunk for thirty years then decomposed for another few decades all the while gargling salt water.

The vampire looked around, only to see a decomposing pirate with a wooden parrot and a hook leg. he had a bottle of something he was drinking from between coarse lyrics that made even the vampire uncomfortable.

"you were looking for me?" the vamp asked up, beginning to walk through the bleachers towards the singer.

The singer frowned. "yar, ya gone and desterbed me right wen aye were gettin' to tha part about'er ass!" he grumbled, taking another swig. "yaaar, well as it were happenin' aye did want tar be seein' ya lad. Aye saw yar last game, and aye wants in, 'am joinin' ya scervy crew!"

The vamp was shocked, but before he could ask if the pirate was sure there was a roaring noise and the wall behind the away goal burst open and a large skaven machine like a deathroller trundled through, atop it was a rat in a leather lab coat, black gloves and goggles several inches thick. he was laughing maniacally until the machine hit a rock, stalled and threw him off.

"what de hell was dat?!" the vampire yelped, tripping backwards over a bleacher. pulling himself up quickly he brushed himself up and tried to look normal and nonchalant in a hurry, only to look even more stupid.

"oh my, i thought i'd fixed that, definitely, yes." the rat pondered, looking over his machine.

James knew his duty so he stood and walked over to the rat, ready to . . . . go and get Alrisea if things got messy.

"excuse me why did you drive that thing through our wall?" the vamp asked, placing a hand on the rats shoulder.

the rat turned and smiled, his dark red fur was falling out, showing he was pretty old, if the mild shake and wrinkles didn't show that. "oh my yes, i came through to offer my services, this is my baby, i want to show the world what she's made of" the skaven giggled.

The vampire looked back at the broken wall then back to the smiling mouse. "so what's your name?" he asked, calmly, this machine could do some damage he told himself.

"Raticous Squeakworthy!" he said proudly, holding his coat lapels with his thumb. the vampire nodded, impressed, this would be a good thing to unleash on his enemies on the pitch.

it was then his illusion was shattered, as the rat smiled. "yes miss, i do believe it will be quite a beast on the field" it said again.

"I'm a man" James found himself correcting as the rat leaned forward, cleaned his goggles by rubbing a sleeve over his eye then nodding. the rat was blind, and clearly not all there, well, it was too big an opportunity to turn down. This next game would be interesting
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