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DrPoods



Joined: Nov 14, 2013

Post   Posted: Jul 11, 2017 - 17:23 Reply with quote Back to top

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Greetings all and welcome to your special presentation.

As we move into the last few matches of the season I was interested (as I am sure many of you are) about the stats. Who lead the league in CAS? Who threw their weight around? Who ruled the skies?

Anyways, I found what I was looking for and thanks to the wonders of internet witchcraft, here are your NBFL Season 18 Regular Season leaders.

The Iron Glove Award - Most Casualties

#.....Player...........................................Team...................................CAS.......Blocks
1 - J. Anderson (XVI/10, TCU)............Denvork Bronkorks................19.........123
2 - Acker..............................................Lost Angels of the NBFL.......15..........100
3 - Choto Klecko [MIA]........................New York Wrecks..................15.........136
4 - Charles Monson.............................Minnesota High Kings............14.........149
5 - J'se V'ld'z #66 (G)..........................Atlatl 'n' Falchions.................13..........87
6 - Mike "The Strong Man"
Pollak [FL]............................................Cincinatti Bludgeoners...........13..........116
7 - A'uhtze'an Kelce.............................Lustriadelphia Pterosaurs.....12..........114
8 - Ryan Fitzofstone Buffalo [BUF}......New Bloodland Patriots.........12..........121
9 - Charles Folger [TENN]...................Jacksonville Pactuars.............11..........79
10 - Bud Gastineau [ARK]....................New York Wrecks..................11...........86

J.Anderson of the Denvork Bronkorks is the clear winner. Sheer brutality people! A lean, mean, green, CAS-ing machine!

Next Up? Most Blocks!

_________________
"I gotta fever and the only prescription is MOAR COWBELL!!"
"That's right... shop smart: shop S-Mart... You got that?"


Last edited by DrPoods on Jul 11, 2017 - 17:44; edited 2 times in total
JackassRampant



Joined: Feb 26, 2011

Post   Posted: Jul 11, 2017 - 17:33 Reply with quote Back to top

Badass. Waaaaaaaaaagh!

_________________
What is Nuffle's tree? Risk its trunk, space the branches. Touchdowns are its fruit.
What is Nuffle's lawn? Inches, squares, and Tackle Zones; reddened blades of grass.
DrPoods



Joined: Nov 14, 2013

Post   Posted: Jul 11, 2017 - 17:36 Reply with quote Back to top

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The Fists of Fury Award - Most Blocks

#......Player...............................................Team.................................Blocks......Turns
1 - Charles Monson..................................Minnesota High Kings.........149..........201
2 - Choto Klecko [MIA].............................New York Wrecks................136.........188
3 - Gohl-Dee (MIHN)................................Indianapolis Crypts..............126..........198
4 - J.D. Hinnant........................................Seattle Werehawks..............123.........180
5 - J. Anderson (XVI/10, TCU).................Denvork Bronkorks..............123..........194
6 - Ryan Fitzofstone Buffalo [BUF]...........New Bloodland Patriots.......121..........185
7 - B. Maxwell [Clan Torxas]....................Waaaghrizona Carnivorcs.....119..........210
8 - Xenexchuk Logan...............................Lustriadelphia Pterosaurs.....116..........212
9 - Mike "The Strong Man" Pollak [FL].....Cincinatti Bludgeoners.........116..........215
10 - Charlie two-bar Krueger....................San Foulcisco 69'ers............115..........208

Congratulations to Charles Monson of the Minnesota High Kings. A High Elf? Really? Number don't lie people and the old warhorse used his beaten up body to make his presence known. More nuts and bolts in him than a hardware store but he made it count!

_________________
"I gotta fever and the only prescription is MOAR COWBELL!!"
"That's right... shop smart: shop S-Mart... You got that?"
DrPoods



Joined: Nov 14, 2013

Post   Posted: Jul 12, 2017 - 02:21 Reply with quote Back to top

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The Golden Arm Award - Most Completions

#...Player.........................................Team.....................................Completions.........Yards Passed
1 - Spike Glennon II......................Tampa Bowl Smokeaneers.............19.........................48
2 - Justin "Lucky Ducker" Zipp......Oakland Elf Raiders........................17.......................103
3 - Ndamukong Suh.......................Miami Dark Fins.............................15........................58
4 - Jaym MacMain.........................Da'Kawgo Kodiaks.........................15.........................26
5 - Otto "Moxon" Graham [NIB].....Cleveland Pansy Dawgs................13.........................35
6 - Heath Shuler............................Weaklington Frailskins....................12.........................83
7 - Ryan Tannihill...........................Miami Dark Fins..............................12.........................2
8 - Antonio Brown II.......................Blitzburgh Seers.............................10........................17
9 - Carson Palmer [Arizona]..........Miami Dark Fins...............................9..........................16
10 - Rodney Peete........................Carolina Black Panther Party............8.........................42

Spike Glennon II of the Tampa Bay Smokeaneers gets the gong this season. Although, as fans of big time Air Coryell action, we can't help but feel that the "chuck and duck" Smokeaneers passer was somewhat eclipsed by the glory of Justin Zipp's 103 passing yards.

Congrats to Spike!

Next up: We get to see the Lucky Ducker get his!

_________________
"I gotta fever and the only prescription is MOAR COWBELL!!"
"That's right... shop smart: shop S-Mart... You got that?"
DrPoods



Joined: Nov 14, 2013

Post   Posted: Jul 12, 2017 - 02:41 Reply with quote Back to top

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The Memorial Justin Zipp Air It Out Award

#...Player........................................Team...........................................Passing.....Completions
1 - Justin "Lucky Ducker" Zipp......Oakland Elf Raiders.......................103.................17
2 - Heath Shuler............................Weaklington Frailskins....................83.................12
3 - Ndamukong Suh.......................Miami Dark Fins.............................58..................15
4 - Spike Glennon II........................Tampa Bowl Smokeaneers............48..................19
5 - Rodney Peete...........................Carolina Black Panther Party..........42..................8
6 - Otto "Moxon" Graham [NIB].....Cleveland Pansy Dawgs.................35..................13
7 - Chris Growlkowski....................San Dogo Chompers......................32..................3
8 - Kevin Williams..........................Seattle Werehawks.........................27...................3
9 - Broadway Joe Bryant [HAW]....New York Wrecks...........................26...................5
10 - C. Palmer...............................Waaaghrizona Carnivorcs...............26...................8

Not so "lucky" after all. A posthumous award for the Raiders QB, Justin "Lucky Ducker" Zipp. Aired it out in true style and died in glory. Now that's what passing numbers should look like!

_________________
"I gotta fever and the only prescription is MOAR COWBELL!!"
"That's right... shop smart: shop S-Mart... You got that?"


Last edited by DrPoods on Jul 12, 2017 - 03:01; edited 1 time in total
DrPoods



Joined: Nov 14, 2013

Post   Posted: Jul 12, 2017 - 02:58 Reply with quote Back to top

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The Memorial "Honey Badger" All The Balls Award - Most Touchdowns

#......Player......................................................Team.....................................Touchdowns..........Turns
1 - Rhys Llyod [MIN].....................................Tampa Bowl Smokeaneers..............16....................110
2 - Toady Nelson..........................................Green Ball Attackers........................15...................178
3 - John "Brazilliam Merganser" Storm [O]...Malice Cow-Boys.............................14....................131
4 - Helen "Honey Badger" Imaman [WISC]...San Dogo Chompers.......................14...................173
5 - Teresa "Aladdin Sane" Gervase SL..........San Foulcisco 69'ers.......................12....................183
6 - J. Fonoti (XVIII/15, Hawaii).......................Denvork Bronkorks.........................12....................210
7 - Brandon Hill [Bama].................................Blitzburgh Seers..............................11....................171
8 - JJ Keels [VAMP]......................................Lost Angels of the NBFL..................11....................183
9 - Joss "No Loss" Tillard..............................Blitzburgh Seers..............................10....................115
10 - Hendrik "Hi-C" Scott..............................Minnesota High Kings......................10....................195

Congratulations to Rhys Llyod (parents can be so cruel) of the Tampa Bay Smokeaneers who ran in a bucketload of TDs this season. God, how we hate him.

_________________
"I gotta fever and the only prescription is MOAR COWBELL!!"
"That's right... shop smart: shop S-Mart... You got that?"
ex-convict



Joined: Jun 28, 2005

Post   Posted: Jul 12, 2017 - 03:48 Reply with quote Back to top

DrPoods wrote:
Image

The Memorial Justin Zipp Air It Out Award

#...Player........................................Team...........................................Passing.....Completions
1 - Justin "Lucky Ducker" Zipp......Oakland Elf Raiders.......................103.................17


... Now that's what passing numbers should look like!



All you passing-elf teams should be ashamed that a runner beat you. Just throw baby.

_________________
Part of the NCBB and the NBFL.

Don't drop the soap.
robocoyote



Joined: Oct 19, 2010

Post   Posted: Jul 12, 2017 - 05:22 Reply with quote Back to top

and the discord chat talked poods into naming the award after Zipp haha
ex-convict



Joined: Jun 28, 2005

Post   Posted: Jul 12, 2017 - 06:02 Reply with quote Back to top

Shouldn't it be the 'Let It Zipp Award'? Sounds better

_________________
Part of the NCBB and the NBFL.

Don't drop the soap.
DrPoods



Joined: Nov 14, 2013

Post   Posted: Jul 12, 2017 - 06:06 Reply with quote Back to top

ex-convict wrote:
Shouldn't it be the 'Let It Zipp Award'? Sounds better


No, my good man, it does not. Very Happy

_________________
"I gotta fever and the only prescription is MOAR COWBELL!!"
"That's right... shop smart: shop S-Mart... You got that?"
DrPoods



Joined: Nov 14, 2013

Post   Posted: Jul 13, 2017 - 02:32 Reply with quote Back to top

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The Rolling Stone Rushing Award

#......Player.....................................................Team.................................Yards....Turns
1 - Broadway Joe Bryant [HAW]....................New York Wrecks..............322........201
2 - J. Fonoti (XVIII/15, Hawaii).......................Denvork Bronkorks............320.......210
3 - Kevin Williams..........................................Seattle Werehawks............307........223
4 - Hendrik "Hi-C" Scott.................................Minnesota High Kings........278........195
5 - Terry 'Avenger' Clemson[CLEM]...............New Bloodland Patriots.....274........212
6 - Helen "Honey Badger" Imaman [WISC]....San Dogo Chompers........255........173
7 - Joss "No Loss" Tillard...............................Blitzburgh Seers................248.........115
8 - John "Brazilliam Merganser" Storm [O]....Malice Cow-Boys...............242........131
9 - Goff...........................................................Lost Angels of the NBFL....237........175
10 - Barry "Summerfest" Leegle [WISC]........Cincinatti Bludgeoners.......237........215

"Broadway Joe is my entire offense" says Coach Robo. You ain't wrong, mate.

An excellent season by the (allegedly) 'roided up Beastman who rumbled his team to the top of the AFCE and into the playoffs.

_________________
"I gotta fever and the only prescription is MOAR COWBELL!!"
"That's right... shop smart: shop S-Mart... You got that?"
DrPoods



Joined: Nov 14, 2013

Post   Posted: Jul 13, 2017 - 02:56 Reply with quote Back to top

Image

Moving on to (perhaps) the most popular award of this awards season. It's the hotly contested...

The Jeffro's Posterior Pounding Award - Most Fouls

#......Player.......................................Team........................................Fouls....Turns
1 - Brian Coulter.............................Tennesse Titanz..........................41..........74
2 - J. Crick......................................Denvork Bronkorks.....................37.........135
3 - Braxton "The Serial" Killer.........Houstovania Wolfens..................37.........146
4 - Josh Mauga...............................Keg City Brew Chiefs.................35.........102
5 - R. Nkemdiche............................Waaaghrizona Carnivorcs..........34.........102
6 - D'mnic D'vis #4 (QB).................Atlatl 'n' Falchions.......................31..........51
7 - Jacquies Spliff II.......................Tampa Bowl Smokeaneers..........30.........103
8 - Chase Cuffthem........................Indianapolis Crypts.....................28..........85
9 - V. Walker...................................Denvork Bronkorks.....................24..........84
10 - Quinn.......................................Lost Angels of the NBFL............23..........64

Gobbos, man. Filthy, little bastards with wicked hobnailed boots. Don'tcha just love 'em?

Congratulations to Brian Coulter of the Tennessee Titanz. A shining light in a struggling season for the big Greenskins.

_________________
"I gotta fever and the only prescription is MOAR COWBELL!!"
"That's right... shop smart: shop S-Mart... You got that?"
JackassRampant



Joined: Feb 26, 2011

Post   Posted: Jul 13, 2017 - 02:58 Reply with quote Back to top

Coulter may lead the volume stats. But Crick killed Helen the Honey Badger.

_________________
What is Nuffle's tree? Risk its trunk, space the branches. Touchdowns are its fruit.
What is Nuffle's lawn? Inches, squares, and Tackle Zones; reddened blades of grass.
Antithesisoftime



Joined: Aug 20, 2014

Post   Posted: Jul 13, 2017 - 03:02 Reply with quote Back to top

And Braxton changed a lot of seasons with his contributions
DrPoods



Joined: Nov 14, 2013

Post   Posted: Jul 13, 2017 - 03:39 Reply with quote Back to top

All I am hearing here is a request for me to call a Waambulance.

_________________
"I gotta fever and the only prescription is MOAR COWBELL!!"
"That's right... shop smart: shop S-Mart... You got that?"
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