harvestmouse
Joined: May 13, 2007
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 Posted:
May 01, 2019 - 23:50 |
 
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| koadah wrote: | | Throweck wrote: | | koadah wrote: | | harvestmouse wrote: | | Is this kind of abuse really hurtful? |
Yes. Definitely.
Being called nigger by one person is much less of a problem than everyone equating you with shit. |
Everyone? You mean one person in this case right? |
Well. that is how it's going to seem if we're going to say that it's "normalised". |
Clearly the OP is hurt, which is a great shame. It's hard for me to comment as I really can't relate to it. Also it's far more an important issue to the OP than it is to me.
So I think we should all try to learn from this. A flippant comment clearly means a lot more to others. |
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koadah
Joined: Mar 30, 2005
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May 02, 2019 - 00:21 |
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| harvestmouse wrote: | | 3. is possibly going off on a tangent, but that was my initial feeling....sick of it. I also admit I don't pay the TV licence. I never watch the thing. |
Well, yeah. I know what you mean and I do pay for a TV license.
But hey, if women's football is the only way that Arsenal can be champions and England have a serious chance in the world cup, I'll take it. 
| harvestmouse wrote: |
Clearly the OP is hurt, which is a great shame. It's hard for me to comment as I really can't relate to it. Also it's far more an important issue to the OP than it is to me.
So I think we should all try to learn from this. A flippant comment clearly means a lot more to others. |
It's another brick in the wall.
If I was joining Fumbbl now, I don't think I'd use my real picture. I guess that is against the rules too. 
It probably wouldn't help anyway, as I'm not very good at keeping a low profile. |
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O[L]C 2016 Swiss! - April ---- All Star Bowl - Teams of Stars - 2 more teams needed |
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fidius
Joined: Jun 17, 2011
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May 02, 2019 - 00:29 |
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A guy in my gaming group once asked us all to stop using the word "retarded", because he has a son with Down's. None of us were under obligation, but we took it out of our collective vocabulary because we love him.
Seems to me that's a better approach than criminalizing the language. |
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mrt1212
Joined: Feb 26, 2013
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| Posted:
May 02, 2019 - 00:42 |
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| fidius wrote: | A guy in my gaming group once asked us all to stop using the word "retarded", because he has a son with Down's. None of us were under obligation, but we took it out of our collective vocabulary because we love him.
Seems to me that's a better approach than criminalizing the language. |
That is how it should work but relies on the counterparty actualizing what they are doing and then giving a toss about how it affects people. Absent that, you have conscientious people fleeing a thing and leaving it to the wolves to divvy up.
The tragedy of the commons isn't just about 17th century land usage |
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Arktoris
Joined: Feb 16, 2004
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May 02, 2019 - 00:48 |
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| fidius wrote: | A guy in my gaming group once asked us all to stop using the word "retarded", because he has a son with Down's. None of us were under obligation, but we took it out of our collective vocabulary because we love him.
Seems to me that's a better approach than criminalizing the language. |
AoP-Vimes made a similar request to me when I referred to homosexuals as gay. He said he considered that derogatory. He and I had a lot of fun gaming with each other. Out of respect for the fun and friendship we had, I honored his request.
but yeah, would be nice if liberals practiced what they preached instead of trying to give themselves a free pass.
I've been around long enough to know those that used to call blacks the N word back in the 50s, fit the same profile of those I witnessed calling gays, the F word in the 80s. And it's ironic, those that used to use the F word...are the exact same people who use the word Homophobe today.
N----r, f----t, homophobe...it's all the same to me. A word democrats say to feel better about themselves at another's expense. Tomorrow they'll come up with another word and another group of people to assault.
Round and round it goes. They seem to need it.
but anyway, which words are acceptable and which aren't...Christer's call. This is his virtual living room. Respect the host's wishes, or leave his house. |
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koadah
Joined: Mar 30, 2005
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| Posted:
May 02, 2019 - 00:49 |
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| fidius wrote: | A guy in my gaming group once asked us all to stop using the word "retarded", because he has a son with Down's. None of us were under obligation, but we took it out of our collective vocabulary because we love him.
Seems to me that's a better approach than criminalizing the language. |
I guess your group didn't have the guy that carried on saying it over and over.
This is Fumbbl dude. We don't all love each other.
Edit: This is a big part of why I prefer [L]eague. In smaller groups, people tend to behave better towards each other.
Also, if you are the commish, you can kick them out if they don't.  |
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O[L]C 2016 Swiss! - April ---- All Star Bowl - Teams of Stars - 2 more teams needed
Last edited by koadah on %b %02, %2019 - %01:%May; edited 1 time in total |
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mister__joshua
Joined: Jun 20, 2007
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| mrt1212 wrote: | | fidius wrote: | A guy in my gaming group once asked us all to stop using the word "retarded", because he has a son with Down's. None of us were under obligation, but we took it out of our collective vocabulary because we love him.
Seems to me that's a better approach than criminalizing the language. |
That is how it should work but relies on the counterparty actualizing what they are doing and then giving a toss about how it affects people. Absent that, you have conscientious people fleeing a thing and leaving it to the wolves to divvy up.
The tragedy of the commons isn't just about 17th century land usage |
I agree that that’s how it should work, but how will we ever get to that point if we’re telling people to F off and calling them homophobic bigots as our opening gambit? |
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"Yeah, well, you know, that's just, like, your opinion, man." - The Dude
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mrt1212
Joined: Feb 26, 2013
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| Posted:
May 02, 2019 - 01:01 |
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| Arktoris wrote: | | fidius wrote: | A guy in my gaming group once asked us all to stop using the word "retarded", because he has a son with Down's. None of us were under obligation, but we took it out of our collective vocabulary because we love him.
Seems to me that's a better approach than criminalizing the language. |
AoP-Vimes made a similar request to me when I referred to homosexuals as gay. He said he considered that derogatory. He and I had a lot of fun gaming with each other. Out of respect for the fun and friendship we had, I honored his request.
but yeah, would be nice if liberals practiced what they preached instead of trying to give themselves a free pass.
I've been around long enough to know those that used to call blacks the N word back in the 50s, fit the same profile of those I witnessed calling gays, the F word in the 80s. And it's ironic, those that used to use the F word...are the exact same people who use the word Homophobe today.
N----r, f----t, homophobe...it's all the same to me. A word democrats say to feel better about themselves at another's expense. Tomorrow they'll come up with another word and another group of people to assault.
Round and round it goes. They seem to need it.
but anyway, which words are acceptable and which aren't...Christer's call. This is his virtual living room. Respect the host's wishes, or leave his house. |
 Now we all see how the white catholic male is the most put upon person in today's society, amirite? |
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Gozer_the_Gozerian
Joined: May 30, 2015
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| Posted:
May 02, 2019 - 01:08 |
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I hear Catholic choirboys have a pretty rough time. |
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Choose the form of your destroyer. |
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mrt1212
Joined: Feb 26, 2013
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| Posted:
May 02, 2019 - 01:16 |
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| mister__joshua wrote: | | mrt1212 wrote: | | fidius wrote: | A guy in my gaming group once asked us all to stop using the word "retarded", because he has a son with Down's. None of us were under obligation, but we took it out of our collective vocabulary because we love him.
Seems to me that's a better approach than criminalizing the language. |
That is how it should work but relies on the counterparty actualizing what they are doing and then giving a toss about how it affects people. Absent that, you have conscientious people fleeing a thing and leaving it to the wolves to divvy up.
The tragedy of the commons isn't just about 17th century land usage |
I agree that that’s how it should work, but how will we ever get to that point if we’re telling people to F off and calling them homophobic bigots as our opening gambit? |
People generally don't respond at all to polite requests unless they have rapport with the other person and see value in considering it. Fidius' example is case in point.
Very infrequently you'll have someone get called out by a relative stranger politely, take stock and attempt to not do it again.
In general, leaving it to individuals at the receiving end of crap to do all the vigilance work while the unaffected consistently ask "whats the problem here?" is going to eventually result in someone like EKG going HAM as he did.
I've been banned from various forums for various racist things I've said over the years. It didn't hit me until I was around 25 or 26 that my nonchalance towards other people's existence actually kept me out of things I enjoyed. Other people had enough of my shit, locked me out and went on enjoying life. Meanwhile I was left with people on 4chan...
I don't speak for every LGBTQ person but frankly, I'm just tired of trying to polite my way towards my life not being the stand-in of general frustration at a game or life or whatever. I could spend my time sitting every kid down who does this and telling them whats what and they'd run and hide under the skirts of people chiding us, the ones who are constantly put upon for being different from orthodoxy for being too impolite to consider.
I haven't even begun to be impolite
Here is an analogy. People that are marginalized are smoke alarms for authoritarian power. Sure they can be loud and obnoxious, sometimes they beep when there is no fire, but the US especially seems to think that smoke alarms have it out for them and they're superior victims to all else because that smoke alarm is just soooooooooo rude.
If one thinks that smoke alarms are out to get them, they'll have to literally catch fire before they see any reason for concern. And they may even go to some lengths to prevent firefighters from coming in because they just don't trust the smoke alarm.
The smoke alarms are pisssssssssssed that fires keep happening and they keep getting ignored. |
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Antithesisoftime
Joined: Aug 20, 2014
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May 02, 2019 - 01:37 |
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| Sigmar1 wrote: | | Antithesisoftime wrote: | | I eventually accepted a match against the offending coach, and I made every effort to brutalize his team as much as possible |
Wait a minute...you've brutalized one of MY teams! And on more than one occasion!! |
LOL
I've brutalized a lot of teams in my day.
I just typically make it a point to play to win first, then brutalize.
The game I was talking about, winning was a secondary thought. I still won it, but that's because he lacked players to stop me. |
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smallman
Joined: Sep 24, 2007
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May 02, 2019 - 02:06 |
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I find it laughable how easily some people get offended these days. You could call me any name, and I will only conclude you have the problem.
Gay is normal for rubbish, but I don't say it in games anymore to avoid reading whining. With my friends I say gay.com, I have 3 gay friends.
I say dice rape when it happens, surely this is fine?!?! Rapists should get jailed forever, and pedos death penalty, irrelevant. |
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Jim_Fear
Joined: May 02, 2014
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| Posted:
May 02, 2019 - 02:50 |
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Our thoughts and prayers go out to all of those hurt by this senseless tragedy. |
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ph0enyx13
Joined: Nov 14, 2015
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| Posted:
May 02, 2019 - 05:56 |
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| Patator wrote: | For all who say that it's common language, so it wasn't directed at the coach, therefor not insulting :
Indeed.
It was not insulting to this gay coach.
It was insulting to all gay (coach or not).
The pejorative use of a term describing a category of people is discrtimination and phobia.
That being said on this case :
- I strongly support a policy that sanction the pejorative use of gay (or girl, ...) in a strong enough way to make it disapear.
- For what I understand of Christer decision : the rules of the website are more hard on sweary language that they are on the pejorative use of gay. This is debatable and eventualy we could ask for a change. But with that in mind christer did react and sanctionned both side.
Finaly I also have witnessed some mysoginy, way much than homophobia. So maybe a little "campagn" or at least that kind of debate is a healthy reminder to everyone to stay vigilant. By that I mean careful with your words and don't let it pass.
But do it politely. 
PS : Fumbbl is a great community by internet standard. Let it stays this way and continue to improve |
I agree, no one should be allowed to say the word "girl" on here. All nonmale coaches and players should instead be referred to as SRY deficient. |
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Antithesisoftime
Joined: Aug 20, 2014
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| Posted:
May 02, 2019 - 06:59 |
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| ph0enyx13 wrote: |
I agree, no one should be allowed to say the word "girl" on here. All nonmale coaches and players should instead be referred to as SRY deficient. |
Can't tell if sarcasm, or serious.
I don't mind people calling me a girl, because I am. I do get offended when people use my gender as an insult, because they're essentially calling women inferior by using my gender as an insult. It's the same as using gay as a pejorative, because it insinuates that homosexuals are inferior to heteros.
That's what this is about. |
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