mrt1212
Joined: Feb 26, 2013
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 Posted:
May 02, 2019 - 18:18 |
 
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| Kondor wrote: | | awambawamb wrote: | wow.
due to the recent events, I suppose a large part of us should either
1) get over it (build up some armor)
2) cool down (really, think before typing and speaking)
I thought about it, lately, and I've noticed a lot of us just don't care. People don't care about speaking, don't care about commitment, don't care about language, don't care about what this is all about - having fun. |
As I have grown older I have simply grown more apathetic. I look at the original post and I just don't care anymore. It is strange because I have watched the culture of the first world become hardened to realities around us and then we hyper focus on items like this that are of little import in the grand scheme of things.
Like almost everyone, I fall into a couple of categories that are easily mocked. I now brush it off when I hear people use offensive language. In fact, I often make fun of my own groups using some of our stereotypes. (There is a kernel of truth at the base of those stereo types.)
Anyway. I agree that we should be civil and avoid language that easily offends others but we should also try not to be easily offended.
I read a quote that said something like. "One who takes offense when no offense is met is a fool. One who takes offense when offense was meant is often a greater fool." By that standard, Western societies are full of fools.
Now I choose to ignore the blathering fools who shout he said this or she said that.
In the last 10 years I have lived in Brazil, Kyrgyzstan, and now Madagascar. There is so much wrong in the world and so many places to focus my energy. There are so many places for any good person to focus their energy. It bothers me that these are the issues that draw people's ire. |
As I've grown older, I've grown more conscientious because there are people I want to reach and foster relationships with where my own blitheness got in the way of that.
To your point about there being bigger fish to fry, I recently stepped in some crap about that vis a vis American politics on Twitter. Who am I, a person who doesn't have many if any existential threats daily, in any position to determine what is the proper size fish to fry in any moment. Where do I get off telling American Jews that there are bigger fish to fry than pervasive antisemitism? Where do I get off telling gay men that there are bigger fish to fry than daily baseline denigration of their existence? Where do I get off telling people "that's how the world works and I won't lift a finger to change it because my life is fine."
To wit, the quote you reference doesn't capture the modern situation.
"You said something pretty crummy."
"I think it was in fact not crummy at all and you're just a soft baby. What a fool. *Insert a reinforcement of the original crummy thing to show how much you don't care about the other person's interpretation of what you wrote*"
Note that people can chew gum and walk simultaneously and stepping up for others who are denigrated for no other reasons than complacency and impulse doesn't preclude focusing on other issues. Maybe for the man who is unwilling to change, it is difficult to do both, but stepping up for others doesn't preclude any of the other activism and outreach I'm involved in - it's part of a full court press. |
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koadah
Joined: Mar 30, 2005
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| Posted:
May 02, 2019 - 18:39 |
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Wuhan
Joined: Aug 02, 2003
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| Posted:
May 02, 2019 - 18:46 |
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Endzone
Joined: Apr 01, 2008
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| Posted:
May 02, 2019 - 19:02 |
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Crush your opponent under your iron boot and send him on his way with a chainsaw - in the game. In chat be respectful. |
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SpecialOne
Joined: Oct 17, 2005
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| Posted:
May 02, 2019 - 19:24 |
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Thanks for your words of wisdom mrt1212.
I hope this is not offending, but I find it somewhat funny that the person starting this topic is named extremegrazedknee and is gay. To me this points to a person who can take a lot of humor from his friends about sexuality, but when it comes to strangers online he gets offended. Thats his business, not mine, but I still see a glimmer of humor in this man. |
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mrt1212
Joined: Feb 26, 2013
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| Posted:
May 02, 2019 - 19:56 |
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| SpecialOne wrote: | Thanks for your words of wisdom mrt1212.
I hope this is not offending, but I find it somewhat funny that the person starting this topic is named extremegrazedknee and is gay. To me this points to a person who can take a lot of humor from his friends about sexuality, but when it comes to strangers online he gets offended. Thats his business, not mine, but I still see a glimmer of humor in this man. |
I too chortled at the name message juxtaposition. |
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asteflix
Joined: Jan 20, 2014
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| Posted:
May 02, 2019 - 20:15 |
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I hope we can get this thread to 99 pages like the cpomb complaint thread |
_________________
''How do you get a cat out of a blow-up doll its stuck'' |
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koadah
Joined: Mar 30, 2005
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| Posted:
May 02, 2019 - 20:49 |
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thoralf
Joined: Mar 06, 2008
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| Posted:
May 02, 2019 - 20:58 |
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| Arktoris wrote: | welcome to my world.
signed,
every white, male, Catholic |
Let me stop you right there, good Sir. |
_________________
There is always Sneaky Git. |
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Balle2000
Joined: Sep 25, 2008
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| Posted:
May 02, 2019 - 21:36 |
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there are so many opinions on the internet |
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ramchop
Joined: Oct 12, 2013
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| Goldenblue wrote: | | I'm new to this site so I don't know how much my opinion here is welcomed but I think a temporary ban followed by a longer one for repeated use of that homophobic slur would be fair reproach. I'm a teacher and it is what i'd do in class. It just is not acceptable for somebody to be doing that in a public forum. |
Coach A: gay
Coach B: Please don't use that word like that I find it offensive.
or
Coach A: gay
Coach B: f**k off homophobe i'm queer
Anyone thinking the second approach is the right one for changing opinions, teaching others, is wrong in my opinion.
FUMBBL has a very diverse mix of people.
People who were born in the 2000s, the 90s, 80s, 70s, 60, 50s... maybe even the 40s. All grew up with different social norms
People of different religions, people of no religion
Asians, Europeans, Americans (North and South), Africans, Australasian
Native English speakers, English as a second language, those that struggle to navigate the site as their English is so poor.
People from countries with 90%+ same ethnicity, people from multicultural societies, majorities, minorities
Urban, rural
PhDs, high school dropouts
Conservative, liberal
Deaf, autistic, going blind, etc
Single, married, parents, grand parents
Broken homes, abused, drug addicts, "perfect" home life.
Straight, gay, bi, male, female, trans, etc
People with different world views.
Tolerance works both ways.
Would you call out your racist Great Aunt Bertha, every time she said something offensive? Every time?
Would you demand that she apologise?
Would you demand a complete stranger apologise, knowing nothing of their background?
Any assumption that the coach who said "gay" has not received correspondence from admin is wrong. Banning is a tool available to admin. So is communication. A sledgehammer approach is not taken to every indiscretion.
I am reasonably confident that Coach A will not say "gay" at his dice in FUMBBL chat again. The difficulty I personally have now is that had Coach B not kicked up a stink and been abusive then perhaps Coach A might still drop the odd "gay". Without these pages of discussion Coach C and Coach D might be just as inclined to. So do we condone reactive abuse? |
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Dominik
Joined: Oct 29, 2004
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| Posted:
May 02, 2019 - 22:01 |
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I wrote "faq" (sic!) sometimes more than 10 years ago in the chat and did not even know exactly what I meant. |
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awambawamb
Joined: Feb 17, 2008
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| Posted:
May 02, 2019 - 22:06 |
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...we should all roleplay our most recently played race. hate and slur would be highly justified if not necessary, and everyone would hate elves. EVERYONE.
BRAAAAAAP
(now with sounds! http://tinytuba.com/ ) |
_________________
"la virtù sta nel cielo e nella terra, ma anche nelle nuvole e nelle stelle"
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amazingprizzini
Joined: Dec 08, 2009
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| Posted:
May 02, 2019 - 22:53 |
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It is fun shouting "Braaaaains" when I play my undead.
If, on the other hand, I ever typed in "Gay brains", that would be messed up. Or, really, giving my zombies any sort of discriminatory phrases. Zombies are better than us! They don't care what you are, as long as you have delicious brains.
That said, ugg, I can't believe people are sill using gay an insult. Don't be a damn fool, but also try not to be angry in chat. |
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MenonaLoco
Joined: Jan 05, 2016
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| Posted:
May 03, 2019 - 00:46 |
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"I don't want to thought police anybody but..." - the "but" eliminates anything that comes before it in a sentence like that, you know. And it has become obvious: This indeed seems to be about getting more. More than apologies, more than a pm discussion, more than letting the admins know.
Question is: When is it enough? What can somebody else do now for you, so you feel better? Dealing with your anger is your own task, you know. Judging by Christers answer, everything that someone else could do for you in this situation, has been done. |
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