ozjesting
Joined: Jan 27, 2004
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 Posted:
Jul 15, 2004 - 02:27 |
 
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Ok Stable fans here it is! Stable E.S.P.N The Exclusive Stable Prattle Network! The newsletter with all the hard hitting reports and news you need to know about all your favourite Stables! The idea is this...the SWL has had great success/fun with the creation of Channel BB
Mainly the plan is to have a central reporter type from each stable and/or team who does write ups in the style of sports page reporting. Match-up previews, pre/post match interviews, and any other fluffy thing you want to write about your stable and teams. For fluff and funs sake it really works best if you keep it sounding "reportery". Check out the link for some ideas and styles of what they have done over on Channell BB. Now it is over to you! |
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JanMattys
Joined: Feb 29, 2004
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Jul 15, 2004 - 02:37 |
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Your favourite Reporter from the Dragon Lands is about to arrive at the Sports Centre. As soon as we can get past the entrance guards, dear readers, you will be given confidential information on what's going on behind the scenes!!!!! |
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ozjesting
Joined: Jan 27, 2004
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Jul 15, 2004 - 02:57 |
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Socket Tooem here for the Four Skull Fanzine
Welcome sports fans to the inaugural season of Stable league! It looks like it has all the hallmarks of a great year. So many teams, so many dreams, so many ways to die!
We here at the FOUR SKULLS stable are wound up and ready to spring onto the back of DRAGONLANDS UNITED. A motly assortment if ever there was one. This is how round one looks to be shaping up
Stout Skull vs MithDrannor's Destiny
The captains pick form the United stable. This reporter was shocked to see the Chaotic cousins of the noble Dwarves offer themselves in this early round. Expect to see all sorts of nasty tricks from the Chaos Dwarves. They will be hoping for a big game from their Bulls. Stout Skull though has the upfront power to see off their charge...and will have a few nasty surprises for the hapless hobgoblins as well. Stout Skull to win 2-1 and most likely give the gift of Niggle to 2 lucky players!
Imperious Skull vs Paralipomeni
This is the game of the round in this reporters opinion. The Elves are already greatly insulted that they even have to play a game, let alone be paired against these vermin! Speed match ups are about equal and I predict high scoring early and rat pain late. Elves to win 3-2 with CAS about equal.
Last Skull vs Dragonlands Coolers
Suprise packet game to say the least. If the Coolers get their Block on early it could be a long and painful day for this upstart Human squad. If Last can dance clear and stay cooler than the Coolers it could be a score'O rama that will embaress the Capitains offering. To call it a draw would be weak so...Last to prevail 2-1...or lose 2-0 and have 3 MNGs. Can't wait to see this one folks!
Stryke's Skulls vs Oblio
Orc against Orc. Not much to say here readers. I expect that most of the game will resemble a 2am street fight with little attention payed to the ball. Both teams come loaded for bear and whoever gets the king hits in early will prevail. 1-0 to the Orcs.
Thats the wrap up for this week sport fans...get your tickets early as this will surely be a sell-out season! See you on the field! |
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Say GO AWAY to CuddleBunny! |
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Wallace
Joined: May 26, 2004
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Jul 15, 2004 - 05:51 |
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Hi, Solo Mike here from the official Stable League news room. Have I got a treat for viewers today, a rare opportunity to interview the illustrious league owner and general head honcho Sconed Bling.
Mike: So Bling, are you pleased with the number of stables you’ve managed to get into this league in only it’s first season?
Bling: Man the Bling don’t care how many cats have come to play, they should be honoured I let ‘em in to the greatest sports entertainment league in the universe. I had to knock back mobs or riff-raff man, I’m like “hey you wanna play the best, you gotta bet the best” know what I’m saying man? I can’t have any ol’ turd tossers in my house!
Mike: So the coaches playing in this league should feel lucky then?
Bling: Brother they are the luckiest cats ever to grace Nuffle’s red pitch man. They will be known always as the original SOB’s that played in the most famous league of all time!
Mike: Are you expecting all coaches to live up to your expectations? You seem to have high hopes for your franchise?
Bling: Man you know like anyone, that when it comes ta Blood Bowl coaches, there are gods and there are sods. Now I know that we gunna find us some gods in this league man, I can feel it know what I’m saying? But I sure the sods will shows em selves too, it aint perfect yet. You dig what I’m saying man? You know the types, their all like “hey man I just couldn’t get my guys to play this week, my like blitzer just got a pedicure and my catchers perm needs a couple days to set dude”, man those cats can be a pain in the ass, even for Bling, the man with the worlds sexiest ass!
Mike: What are you going to do about teams that don’t play their games then?
Bling: Man the Bling aint gunna do nothin. I aint gunna go near them SOB’s. I got some people that know some people that know some Ogre’s if you dig my drift man. I mean I know cats can have problems getting to games sometimes, I’m the worlds most sensitive guy you know what I’m saying? I know things can be complicated hassles can happen, I’m understanding of that, you know man, I’m down wid that dude. But you know man, Ogre’s aint so understanding you know? Their all like straight down the line, so if something were to happen to some team you know, it happens sometimes.
Mike: I guess all coaches will be making sure they complete all their games then! Moving on Bling, who’s you hot pick for League Champions this season?
Bling: Man you know I can’t be all like this team or that team is gunna win. I’m like the wisest dude ever to live and breath you know what I’m saying man? I know not to go round showing favourites even before a blocks been thrown man! I just say this man, whichever bunch of mothers wins this will clearly be the badest bunch of ball players going round in all the world man, and that coming from the Bling means a lot man, know what I’m saying dude?
Mike: Well not really but that’s all we have time for today. We are grateful for giving up your time to talk to us Bling.
Bling: You should be Man. |
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JanMattys
Joined: Feb 29, 2004
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Jul 15, 2004 - 11:00 |
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Latest news from the Dragonlands HQ
"Today is a good day to die".
Nothing can describe the Norse expectations for the League better than the Chorus of their Official Hymn.
And now, dear readers, let's have a talk with you favourite guys...
Coach Mattys, you describe the team as if there's no future, but it seems you couldn't care less...
Mr. Mattys: It's not that I don't care... It's that I can't do anything about that! They will keep running right onto everything on their way until they meet an abyss and will be lost forever. Till that day... stay off the tracks!!! I did my best to organize some training sessions, but these guys always show up late, often with some serious injuries I prefer not to investigate about. They do not fear my punishment (actually, I rarely even raise my voice), they just fear the moment when ale and meat stocks will be depleted. That's why we have a special contract with our sponsors, that grant us extra-ale with every Td scored. I just need it to keep them in line.
Thankyou Coach! Now let's see what Blitzer Sergio thinks about the Last Skull Team. Sergio?
Sergio: What? you want to know what we think about the Last Skull? What the hell should I think about sissies who come and play wearing shiny cute little armors? They come dressed like a bunch of tin cans! Come on, that is not serious! *burp* But I want to tell our fans that they'll have the bloody, violent match they deserve. We will kick those human butts, and when it's over we will do the same to their supporters, to the referee, to the reporters - HEY COME HERE I DIDN'T FINISH YET !!!! - ...and if we have some spare time to our own supporters, to stay in shape. Is that clear? IS THAT CLEAR????
...
Ehm...
Ok, Ladies and gentlemen, our last guest is the secret weapon of the Coolers: Krajaz the Mino... What do you want to say to your fans, Krajaz?
Krajaz: MOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!!!!
Remember, dear readers: you heard here first!!!!!!! |
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Mully
Joined: Aug 02, 2003
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Jul 16, 2004 - 04:56 |
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Crossfire Plague 1 vs Steeltoed Wardogs 1
A much anticipated matchup between the 2 top ranked coaches of their respective Stables was more about fumbles and blown opportunities than stellar play. The Plague received the opening kickoff and other than manhandling Wyvern (RIP saved, SI niggle) they barely managed to cross midfield.
The orcs seized the opportunity for a 1-0 halftime lead.
Then it was the orcs chance to blow the game. Unexplainably setting up 2 gobbos deep they were just asking for trouble. And trouble they found as the Plague stole the ball and tied the game at 1-1. At this point, the fans had seen enough shoddy play. They proceeded to riot in protest and the game was called.
Quite an unsatifactory ending for both squads. |
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Owner of the REAL Larson
Come join the CCC League |
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chunky04
Joined: Aug 11, 2003
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Jul 16, 2004 - 15:18 |
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Here at the local tavern for an exclusive interview with Stout Skull captain and blitzer Hazkal is Coopers Ontap.
Coopers: Hello Hazkal, tell me, what do you think of you're upcoming matchup vs your evil cousins of Myth Drannor's Destiny?
Hazkal: I'll tell yoush what I fink about thoshe guysh, and vey ain't my cushins neiver! Mathdraino's only destinty is to feel the backsh of our hands I tells ya! Theysh can't even drink any good, like lves they are. Just look at them Bull Centaur thingys, gotta be some serious beshtiality going on to produce them things. That's how the Chaos Dwarfs started you know, always fondling the liveshtock!
Coopers: Are you sure you're not taking them too likely, you are quite drunk the day before a match.
Hazkal: Lishen here buddy, you don't tell me how to prepare for a Blood Bowl match, and I won't shove that bloody microphone where only elves go, kapeesh? We's juss havin some prepatory ales, in order to promote right and proper finking on the pitch tomorrows. Now, if you want the real scoop, you'll have to come a bit closer.
<Coopers moves in>
Hazkal: <Buuuuuuuaaaaaaauuuuuuuurrrrrrrrrgggghhhhhhhhpppppppppp!>
Editor's Note: Coopers is reviving nicely in hospital. We thank you kind reader who sent flowers, even if they were addressed to the wrong person. |
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chunky - you are eloquence on legs |
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Mentok
Joined: Nov 19, 2003
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Jul 16, 2004 - 15:58 |
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Kapow! Zok! Swoosh! - Rabbadab 3-0 (4-0)
After having won the coin toss, "Spacial reclining armchair crew" figured out, it would be best to take out the evil CDs ASAP b4 they could challenge the lizzies who already were in fear (which probably woulda ended in a slaughter).
Team Captain Mentok decided to face Nittistrand and his Rabbadab. Experts expected a tough close game, but well: These expectations were destroyed early in the match when the talented BOB Robin blitzed the opponent's bull centaur and skillfully inflicted an injury. The CDs then lost faith and their ball carrier was brought down soon after that. Aunt Harriet, the very popular orc's thrower, had no problems to pick up the ball and then sprint. While reducing the number of the hobgobbos on the field by making some hideous crowd pushs, Aunt Harriet stood next to the endzone talking to her boyfriend who cheered happily for about 4 turns.
Half two started with a moderate pitch invasion inspired by Aunt Harriets drunk bf and his pals. One more poor hobgobbo was seriously injured. This was the time for the blitzers Chief O'Hara and Comm. Gordon. Each of them killed one opponent and again an easy TD could be scored. This time, the penguin did the job running down the sideline almost without complications. 2-0 !
The unlucky CDs even had to take the 3-0 having a very offensive orc setup against their 7 players who were left on the pitch. A hobgobbo dropped the ball which he intended to pass to another of his kind who managed to break thru the orcish wall.
An easy blitz again by Robin gave Aunt Harriet a free path to the ball. She successfully threw it to Chief O'Hara who then could score in turn 8 without a real defense action.
SRAC is looking forward to the next three matches that aren't announced yet by "It's on". |
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I am Jack's colon. I get cancer, I kill Jack. |
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chunky04
Joined: Aug 11, 2003
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Jul 18, 2004 - 01:37 |
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Coopers Ontap here, with another interview with Stout Skull captain Hazkal after their unimpressive 1-1 draw with Mith Drannor's Destiny.
Coopers: Hazkal, your players seemed rather apathetic today, is this a result of a hangover induced by last nights drinking?
Hazkal: What nonsense! Strong drink only enhances a Dwarf's marvellous metabolism. What you saw out there was nothing short of a conspiracy! Our knuckledusters were taken from us before the game, and given to those damn bastard dusty buggers! That's why we couldn't even hurt a single hobgoblin, while they ditched both our trollslayers. I tell you, it was only the drunken rage promoted by Bugman's finest that got us the TD to tie at the end! Now begone before I belch in your general direction! |
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chunky - you are eloquence on legs |
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JoeKano
Joined: Aug 30, 2003
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Jul 19, 2004 - 16:29 |
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Hi Folks, this is Bob Borc here on secondment from Channel BB! with the wrap on the Stryke's Skulls V's Oblio greenskin showdown for rd 1 between Four Skulls and Dragonlands United stables.
In what turned out to be a grueling match played under a boiling hot sun for most of its length these two tough and committed teams battled it out to a draw on the field ending 1-1 on the scoreline. In the stands how ever it was quite a different story with the Stryke fans striking back for the perceived injustice of Oblio fans thrown rock that KO'd one of Strykes Black Orc Blockers with a rock of their own that might more properly have been called a boulder as it slammed home killing the 2nd thrower for Oblio #7 Sarkomand. With the costs in repairs and cleaning for the stadium subtracted neither team walked away with a decent purse and some of Strykes Skull's fans just simply walked away, vowing never to return...
"We com ta see blud and gore and guts, not this poncy elfy like ball handling and stuff. lessen dey makes wid more o da casualties, i aint coming to see this poncy team agin" growled one aggrieved fan....
With 2 games now played for this matchup the scores are level at 2 draws both one all, can either stable turn this round around with the two remaining games...I think its going to be close fans........ |
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"Take the Strength, crush the opposing linemen, drive them broken before you and hear the lamentation of their Cheerleaders!!!"
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chunky04
Joined: Aug 11, 2003
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Jul 27, 2004 - 23:45 |
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Well Bob, it seem the epic contest between Four Skulls and Dragonlands United has ended in a draw, far from Coach Chunky's 3-1-0 prediction.
Yes Jim, but we all know Coach Chunky's predictions are generally outlandishly stupid.
Ouch Bob, well let's go with a quick recap.
First cab off the rank was the Four Skulls captains, Stout Skull going at it with their twisted cousins from MithDrannor's Destiny, and these two teams played a bitter, hard fought draw. So to did the two Orcish teams Stryke's Skulls and Oblio.
At 0-2-0, all depended on the softer of the Skulls. Last Skull stepped up to the plate and showed them how it was done, with a 3-2 win over the captain of United, Dragonlands Coolers. Secure in the knowledge that we couldn't lose, the Imperious Skull deigned not to play with anything like the vigour required, and were defeated by the ratmen of Paralipomeni 2-1. |
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chunky - you are eloquence on legs |
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Rasfahan
Joined: Feb 26, 2004
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Jul 29, 2004 - 14:23 |
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Mr. Doun: "Good evening, ladies and gentlemen. We're here, reporting live from the four matches of the Pushbacks vs. the Elves in Disguise. Unfortunatly, the Elves in Disguise Coaches are not available to comment on the matches, but the Pushbacks graciously agreed on an interview.
Mr. Doun: "What made you choose Pushbacks as a name for your stable? That does not sound exactly like you are aspirants for the title."
Arcon: "Beer!"
Waldbaer: "Well, we're in it for the spirit. With all that ingenious opposition, and our first season together, we'll be contend with a good middle-field place at the end of the season."
Khelmin: "Yeah, spirit it is. O' course we're gonna do our best to win, and if there comes some spirit with victory, my team will all claim it."
Rasfahan: "I'm in only for my players. And THEY know what's in for them if we don't make it. I mean, it's not like I'm a bloodthirsty lunatic, but it just gets to me if they mess up, wouldn't be the first player whose gorge I slit..."
Mr. Doun: "I see. What then, do you attribute your decisive victory with 2-1-1 in the first matchup to?"
Arcon: "Beer!"
Waldbaer: "Certainly, we were, a bit lucky, especially the Trodden Flowers with taking no injuries. Another thing was that the opposition didn't manage to play to their own strengths in most of the games."
Khelmin: "Tis all a matter of motivation. And what he said bout spirit. Almost as important as beer. Of course, anyone can win against a couple of skeletons."
Rasfahan:"Sacrifices to Nuffle. You see, we prepare all those virgins pre-game, and during every important move - now who was that coach who said: 'There aint no unimportant moves out there on the battlefield' - anyway, during every important move we cut out the int..."
Mr. Doun: "Thank you, Mr. Rasfahan that was very, umh, enlightening. So, I was wondering how do you get all these players from different races to cooperate?"
Arcon: "Beer!"
Waldbaer: "It's all a question of willpower. You just take their free will away and the restless souls cooperate."
Khelmin: "Anyone of them make trouble and I just send Pit'n'Chris over. Quite a stopper for arguments, they are - stupid as an ox, too."
Rasfahan: "I don't care how they get along with the others. If anyone makes trouble, I'll tear out his throat with me bare hands and feed his bo..."
Mr. Doun: "Umh, but aren't those players expensive professionals?"
Waldbaer: "I gladly make use of any leftovers of expensive professionals, so we only loose a couple of bucks on each."
Mr. Doun: "So, how did you motivate your players to move against such brutal an opponent?"
Arcon: "Beer!"
Waldbaer: "Moti... what?"
Khelmin: "Whips'n'Chains. Works wonders on oxen and hobgoblins alike. As for the others, they're mostly in it for the spirit..."
Rasfahan: "Well, Mr. Doun, that aint no flowerfield out there, as I always tell me players. They knew what was coming for them when we don't at least tie the match. You see, we're kinda out of virgins at the moment, so whoever slacks up is gonna be drawn, quartered and his test..."
Mr. Doun: "I'm sure these are very efficient approaches to coaching. Anything else you have to say about your matchups?"
Arcon: "Beer?"
Waldbaer: "Well, we played elves, after all. Fragile, and a bit... well, you know what I mean. Can't be much different when they're dead, I said. Of course, that other coach pulled off some brilliant strategies that I surely hadn't expected him to use this early in his career."
Khelmin: "Yes, some nifty coaching on their part, 'twas a nice and fair fight. Of course, our brute strength just overwhelmed them."
Rasfahan: "No stinkin' dead highelf will stop a drow, I always say."
Mr. Doun: "And with this wisdom, we return to our central. Thank you for this interview, Sirs. This was Dan Doun for Stable ESPN." |
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sk8bcn
Joined: Apr 13, 2004
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Aug 20, 2004 - 12:45 |
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We regret to anounce you the death of Stable ESPN. We loved the round we played.
Now official announcement. Is annyone ready to restart that tournament? |
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JanMattys
Joined: Feb 29, 2004
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Aug 20, 2004 - 12:54 |
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I created a new tournament with the help of Ebenezer... guys, find a buddy and apply!!!
Overlord League.
ps: we will miss the Stable.  |
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Rasfahan
Joined: Feb 26, 2004
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Jan 29, 2005 - 13:52 |
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I am herewith grateful to announce the re-opening of
Stable ESPN
Chief Lawn Ornament Rasfahan has condescended for a short
comment on his NoPow stable:
Rasfahan: "Ya know, like awr der previous stable, der Pushbacks,
we're in it for der fun. Pows are fer wussies, we'll baggem wid skulls." |
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