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Last seen 3 years ago
Win Percentage
Shambling Undead
Super Star
Shambling Undead
Win Percentage
Win Percentage
Frequency: Unique
Armor Class: -8
Move: Teleport
Hit Dice: 22
No. of Attacks: 5
Damage/Attack: See below
Magic Resistance: 85%
Alignment: Lawful Evil

Other coaches with a higher fouls/game stat:
paulhicks BigMac Burnalot ...

I can bash, crush, smash, stall, and foul.
I am also a bit lucky sometimes.

I usually don't foul past turn 14, unless there is a good reason.
(are you going to give me a good reason? :D)
If you are just the crazy suicidal type, I can smash on request...

I can also score rather quickly if I want.

With my teams, not many people accept my challenges so I tend not to make them.
Often I put my teams on Gamefinder and go away for a bit and see if IRC is blinking when I get back.
If I don't answer quickly, don't take offense please.

Plorg is honored by the tributes for his teachings.

Tournament Wins
: New Horde (Chaos)
FUMBBL SMACK Elite XLVI : DarkStorm IronHelms (Dwarf)
FUMBBL SMACK Pro IV : Shrieking Legion (Undead)
FUMBBL SMACK Pro LII : Happy Snowflakes (Norse)
FUMBBL SMACK Sched PRO IX : Four Mummies and DPs (Khemri)*
FUMBBL SMACK Veteran LXXXVI : Last Tango (Undead)
FUMBBL SMACK Veteran XCV : Zombaz (Necromantic)
FUMBBL SMACK Veteran CXXXVI : Kill Us Please (Khemri)
FUMBBL SMACK Veteran CLXII : Girls School (Amazon)
FUMBBL SMACK Rookie XCVI : RookSmack Hills 2nd Brigade (Halfling)*

FUMBBL Champion Cherrypicker June 2007
(Annihilists . . . . Horrible Slaughter . . . Ow . . Last Tango . Plorg's Rats .)
FUMBBL All-Time Top 100 CR (as of Nov 2007: #71 @ 180.59)
First Official M.M.U. Member

BLOODBOWLMANIA 2 : Shrieking Legion (Undead)
BASHFEST 2006 TRASH : Happy Fun Pals (Khemri)
Whiskey Bowl IV : Kings of Mayhem (Norse)

SEXY Eshin Adepts I : Stabby McStabbers

I enjoy stalling and fouling
Should I take +ST?
Plorg On Fouling

Plorg's Picks:
Grotty Little Tournament III
Ulthuan Invitational III
Ulthuan Invitational III Qualifiers
Warpstone Open II
Grotty Little Tournament II
XFL Dark Elves 2006
XFL Khemri 2006
Ulthuan Invitational II

Werewolf Games:
Chaoston: Arena Isle: GM TPK
Paranoia: Mindblock Communist Loss
Gnomes and Goblins: Gnome WIN
Quantum Werewolf: Wolf Loss (coin toss)
Dicing with Death: Ninja WIN
Werewolf: Chaoston: GM
Werewolf Returns Again (again): Wolf WIN
Werewolf Returns (again): Wolf WIN
Werewolf: Carnageton: GM
Underworld : Evolution: Villager WIN
Werewolf ... Returns!: Villager WIN
The CUBE: Scientist WIN
Werewolf 12: High Seas: Backup GM
Vampire 4 : Blood Drive: Thrall PERFECT WIN
Vampire 3: Watcher WIN
Underworld: Villager Loss
Werewolf: Seventon: GM
Mafia 2, back in New York: Vigilante Loss
Vampires! (WW Round 4): Healer WIN
Werewolf - A new dawn: Wolf Loss

Team Development Strategy:
1) Choose two normal skills and one doubles skill that each position doesn't have yet and can access.
If necessary, plan different branches for various stat increases or doubles choices.
Example: Chaos Guard Claws
2) Stick to these skills in team development.
3a) If these skills don't work for you and you hate the team: Retire or unrankify team and make a new one.
3b) else you like these skills and all your players have them: Goto 1.

Note: If Dirty Player is not in the skill priority list, set aside two players as utility DP/Kick

Cool Players
All of these are/were a lot of fun to play. More of my players should be like them.
Betrayal Chalk Grogax IronHelm Murgolo
Grigonz Wshoo Dozer Unit Alpha Kosmo

CR Graph

IRC Chatter and Awesome Quotes

<Bthieson> he is a big fan of the foul
<joppie> i hate players like that
<Bthieson> isn't that right plorg?
<Plorg> i do enjoy a merry bit of fouling yes
<Plorg> ho ho ho
* joppie smacks plorg for fouling
* heinz cheers Plorg
<Ninjabob> which is why I won't play you, Plorg
<Bthieson> yea..I think I won't either
<Plorg> ok ;(...
<Plorg> i understand
<Ninjabob> fouling for tactical reasons, yeah
<Ninjabob> but for fun?
<joppie> i might consider it when i got 10 dp as well
<Plorg> it was certainly tactical
<Plorg> but also fun

"Something is deeply wrong when a bunch of halflings are just destroying orcs like that."

<Dalibor> i am trying to recover from quals for the main tourney, but it is damn hard :(
<Plorg> i doubt i would be a good candidate for a recovery match :D
<Dalibor> i know ;)

<Plorg> thanks for the game
<Nature_Warden> Last time I play that many DPs...
<Nature_Warden> At least with unbashy teams
<Plorg> that's what they all say
<Plorg> and then they never play me again ;D...
<Nature_Warden> *Sits in stunned silence*
<Plorg> it is both a proud and lonely state for me
<Nature_Warden> Hell I want to play you again, you a**, Vampyres are expensive!!
<Plorg> you want revenge!
<Plorg> excellent
<Nature_Warden> ^_^
<Plorg> this could be the beginning of a beautiful relationship

<paulhicks> that was great
* paulhicks gives plorg a pair of golden toe cap boots as a prize

Plorg can be kind!
<bdtimmer> want a ranked game vs delf? [120/106]
<bdtimmer> i dont seem to do well so might be a good recoop game for ya...
<Plorg> hi
<bdtimmer> :)
<bdtimmer> did you want to play your halflings? [115/68]
<Plorg> sure
<bdtimmer> you host?
<Plorg> have you seen the team page?
<bdtimmer> what do you mean
<Plorg> just checking if you looked at the team page
<bdtimmer> of your team?
<Plorg> yes
<bdtimmer> no i didnt, looked at ur rating
<bdtimmer> oof, uh...
<bdtimmer> why is your rating low??
<Plorg> ok... just to warn you it's not a gentle team
<Plorg> so you don't have to play them if you don't want to
<bdtimmer> why is ur rating low? it looks like a strong team
<Plorg> not many rerolls so less TS there, also the spps are low and fairly evenly distributed
<bdtimmer> but a team str of 68? i must not understand what that means.
<Plorg> e.g. one guy with three skills is worth two guys with one skill TR/TS-wise
<Plorg> one guy with four skills is worth four guys with one skill, etc
<bdtimmer> i can give it a shot. I play for fun anyway
<Plorg> ok, if you're sure... keep in mind these flings spend their money
<Plorg> so i'm going to buy enough chefs to steal all your rerolls
<bdtimmer> yeah, i think i will pass. You are scaring me
<bdtimmer> thanks for the waring
<Plorg> hehe ok no problem
<Plorg> good luck!
<bdtimmer> gl tho

<runreallyfast> the purity of your fury never ceases to awe me, Plorg...

<Plorg> hi
<Plorg> your chaos my khemri?
<mistermurphy> Parle Francais?
<Plorg> un tout petit peu
<mistermurphy> S**t
<mistermurphy> I mean
<Plorg> LOL
<mistermurphy> No :P

<TheSpoonyBard> I'm noticing a distressing trend on gamefinder...
<Ro> wats that spoony?
<Plorg> hi!
<TheSpoonyBard> him
<Plorg> :D

Post-game chat with specs
<Ro> Plorg??
<Ro> mercy??
* Ro is crushed
<LicentiousHamster> <Plorg> they are booing b/c i didn't foul
<LicentiousHamster> Damn RIGHT :P
<BowlBot> *** Virus in the Woods 1 vs 2 Zombaz ***
<LicentiousHamster> I want Hasu's winnings T.T 90k for one match? Damn sir.
<hasudrone> darn
<hasudrone> was close
<Plorg> :D
<Ro> pffffft
<Plorg> fun tho
* Ro thinks plorg has gone soft
<Plorg> tough to play ag2 vs wood elves and win
<Plorg> if they stay down, then why foul?
<LicentiousHamster> Because you're Plorg. You have a reputation to maintain.
<Plorg> partially true
<Plorg> but not necessarily
<Plorg> i've lost games by doing that
<Plorg> fouling not because it was optimal, but because there were specs expecting me to
<shadow46x2> ....
<shadow46x2> tell me how you could have lost that game by fouling in t15?
<shadow46x2> :p
<Plorg> not THAT game
<Plorg> but in the past
<Plorg> and if they stay down, then it's an acknowledgement of surrender
<Plorg> if they DON'T stay down, well then it keeps going
<LicentiousHamster> I can respect that :)

Plorg + Drink = Yoda
<TheSpoonyBard> bblast thespoonybard
<BowlBot> TheSpoonyBard: TheSpoonyBard was accessing the website 12 minutes ago.
<TheSpoonyBard> I'm not on
<TheSpoonyBard> :(
* Plorg pokes TheSpoonyBard with his own existentialism
<TheSpoonyBard> whose existentialism?
<TheSpoonyBard> yours?
<TheSpoonyBard> or mine?
<TheSpoonyBard> or is there a difference?
<Plorg> <TheSpoonyBard> or is there a difference? THAT is an ecxellent question
<Plorg> cx
<Plorg> xc
* Plorg is now known as PlorgDrunk
<PlorgDrunk> to which i have no ready answer because of the profundity of the question
<stochastic> Are you sure you don't mean the irrationality of the question?
<PlorgDrunk> the implication that my own existentialism is somehow different from his is a very deep question
<stochastic> people don't have their own 'existentialisms' unless you mean different versions of the philosophy, at which point you are just talking about opinions which really isn't that deep
<PlorgDrunk> if the divine source is within all of us, then are we not all pieces of the divine? then could it not be said that each of us is simply a different facet of each other
<Xyon> lol
<princevaliant> don't put your divine source in me - I don't know where it's been
<stochastic> lol
<stochastic> hAHA
<Xyon> lineman got mng injury but mvp first skill double 1 age and niggle, hehe
<PlorgDrunk> the divine in me is the same at that which is already in you
<Xyon> but got double 5 for skill too
<PlorgDrunk> too late! it's in you already!
* PlorgDrunk points at princevaliant
* PlorgDrunk laughs
<PlorgDrunk> xyon, your lineman has a purpose in the plan of fate. that purpose may be retirement
<Xyon> yeah
* princevaliant takes a cold shower and washes out all the divine source Plorg put in me
<PlorgDrunk> by doing so you futilely attempt to remove the divinity of your own existence
<PlorgDrunk> which does not reside in the skin or germs that reside upon it
<PlorgDrunk> although...
<PlorgDrunk> it kind of does
<PlorgDrunk> you are making an act of defiance against your divinity
<PlorgDrunk> which is your right to choose to do so
<princevaliant> from your point of view...yes, I agree
<princevaliant> I worship the BowlBot, he generates my random life. He doesn't put divine source in me either
<PlorgDrunk> i advise against the worship of bots
<PlorgDrunk> !8ball do you still work?
-Nuffle- Toys are disabled in #Fumbbl.
<PlorgDrunk> that would be a no
<PlorgDrunk> from #fumbblminors:
<PlorgDrunk> <PlorgDrunk> !8ball do you still work?
<PlorgDrunk> <Nuffle> PlorgDrunk: Absolutely!
<PlorgDrunk> <PlorgDrunk> !8ball do you encourage humans to worship you?
<PlorgDrunk> <Nuffle> PlorgDrunk: Not a chance.

<Synn> come on cherries
<Synn> where you at
<Ro> O_o
<Synn> theres one
<Synn> bbteams Ro
<Synn> :(
* Plorg paints his face shiny red
* Ro hands plorg his im a cherry sign
<Synn> tard
<Synn> and yes plorg.....
<Synn> giving up handis to you is like paying money for a lottery where the prize is AIDS
<unx> ...

Moral Contemplation
<Emphasy> and its home!
<Plorg> Zen Master Fouler 2008-01-28 Did 10000 fouls.
<Emphasy> muahahaha
* Plorg bows
<Plorg> goes well with the zen master basher and blocker
<Emphasy> hehe hell yeah
<Plorg> you should try halflings
<Emphasy> im not a big fan of stunties in ranked
<Emphasy> neither to play with or vs
<Plorg> ;(...
<Emphasy> i know they can be freaking awesome
<Emphasy> when you pick right;)
<Plorg> my flings talked teams out of committing suicide yesterday
<Emphasy> :)
<Plorg> all i had to do after they challenged was ask: hi, are you sure?
<Emphasy> hahaha
<Emphasy> noobs underestimate stunties
<Plorg> [23:59] <**coach1**> howdy...
<Plorg> [23:59] <**coach1**> my necros vs. your halflings?
<Plorg> [00:02] <Plorg> hi, are you sure?
<Plorg> [00:02] <**coach1**> uhm
<Plorg> [00:02] <**coach1**> well...
<Plorg> [00:02] <**coach1**> you will most likely win
<Plorg> [00:02] <**coach1**> oh, wait, lemme look at your cas stats
<Plorg> [00:03] <**coach1**> ok, sorry, nevermind
<Plorg> [00:03] <**coach1**> :)
<Emphasy> hahaha
<Plorg> [03:01] <**coach2**> hey
<Plorg> [03:02] <**coach2**> your flings fancy an easy game with my woodies? :p
<Plorg> [03:04] <Plorg> hi, are you sure?
<Plorg> [03:07] <**coach2**> hmm, actually maybe not that wise :p been fouled to pieces th last few games :p
<Plorg> [03:08] <Plorg> heh :P
<Emphasy> hahaha
<Emphasy> priceless
<Emphasy> i get the picture
<Emphasy> haha
<Plorg> so i am actually surprisingly merciful
<Emphasy> yeah
<Emphasy> whats up with that ghandi?
<Plorg> i just give them a chance to back out
<Plorg> so when they do sign up, i have no moral qualms about fulfilling their wish
<Emphasy> well
<Emphasy> they are the ones thinking they are picking hardcore
<Emphasy> i wouldnt give them a chance to back out of that
<Plorg> hmm
<Plorg> i shall contemplate this

Scare Away His Brethren

by Dead Cripplin'

<...instrumental guitar intro...>

There's a Khemri who's sure Dirty Players are gold,
and he's trying to scare away his brethren.
When he gets a game he knows that the elf team is hosed,
with a boot he can get what he came for.

Ooh, ooh, and he's trying to scare away his brethren...

There's a guy with the ball but he wants to make gore
cause you know sometimes boots need two cleanings.
RIP'd by the crook, referee's whistle sings,
sometimes none of our sins are forgiven.

Ooh, but he makes a blunder...
Ooh, but he makes a blunder...

There's a feeling I get when my boot cracks his chest
and his spirit is crying and leaving.
In the Cas box I've seen piles of blokes as they scream
and the cheering of spectators gawking.

Ooh, but he makes a blunder...
Ooh, but he makes a blunder...

With the pitch cleared at noon if the ball falls real soon,
then the Thro-Ra will lead us to victory.
And a new half will dawn for elves who stand long
and the Khemri will get what they're after.

If there's a lineman at your feet yo, don't be an elf now,
It's just a pitch clean for the Foul Queen.
Yes, there's a ball that you can go try to score a long run,
but there's still time to foul the lineman.

Ooh, but he makes a blunder...
Ooh, but he makes a blunder...

Your team is losing and it won't go, in case you don't know,
the referee's calling you to join him.
Dear fouler, can you hear the specs go: Hey did you know,
Your win relies on a whimpering ref!

<...guitar solo...>

And when the clock's two turns to go,
the elves are winning 4-to-0.
There was a Khemri we all know
who likes the fight and wants to show
how every sting still burns so cold.
And if you listen very hard
the truth will come to you at last.
Not all is foul, there is a ball
Don't take the fight and not the goal!

And he's trying to scare away his brethren....

<Plorg|drunk> !8ball should i try to foul more often?
<Nuffle> Plorg|drunk: Absolutely!

Plorg's first week on FUMBBL : Awards
Khemri Player 2005-05-15 Played 10 matches.
Adept Basher 2005-05-15 Caused 50 casualties.
Losing Streak 2005-05-15 Lost 5 matches in a row.
A Khemri coach is born!

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