Today the professional Blood Bowl circuit was shaken as at a press conference it was announced that Skurry Quickpaw
, star thrower of the Karak Eight Freaks
had failed a drug test. The test, which involves urinating into a beaker and seeing how long it takes for the liquid to burn through the glass, found that his urine did not contain any trace of unnatural chemicals. The announcement has caused outrage throughout the sporting community.
Club coach, Bezer, who as part of his takeover of the Freaks began a systematic and widespread doping programme, was shocked by the news and apologised to his opposing coaches for his player not acting 'in the spirit of the game'. Numerous potions, brews and fungal supplements were added to the diet plans of the players including a Brain and Nerve Tonic brewed by the night goblin owned Madcap Brew Corporation. The Tonic is said to increase brain function allowing for players to be able to learn new and better skills quickly, as well as the benefits of causing gigantism in some players. The side effects, including spontaneous head explosions, were described by Bezer as 'wholly overplayed'.
Skurry himself stated that he had begun to have 'ethical concerns' about being force fed untested medication in a statement which was remarkably eloquent for a Skaven. The Club Apothecary/Warlock Engineer, Quikk Fix, who was responsible for implementing the programme clarified that the problem had occurred as it was placed on each player to self-administer and that from now on players would have to come in everyday to be administered by Quikk Fix himself. Fix also announced a rigorous increase in random testing to ensure cheats are caught as soon as possible.
The club has already forced numerous goblin players into retirement over the scandal but it is thought, for the time being at least, that Skurry will be allowed to stay on at the club due to the dire financial situation the Freaks currently find themselves in. However, the player was fined over 3000 gold pieces and has been given medical assistance to 'prevent any further instances of clarity.'