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The_Great_Gobbo
Last seen 2 days ago
Goblin
Experienced
Goblin
Record
40/38/625
Win Percentage
8%
Orc
Emerging Star
Orc
Record
13/2/14
Win Percentage
48%
Overall
[R]
Emerging Star
Overall
Record
53/40/638
Win Percentage
10%
Archive

2018

2018-01-05 12:15:30
rating 5.4

2017

2017-12-27 16:43:51
rating 5.5
2017-03-01 21:20:56
rating 6

2016

2016-12-12 17:33:50
rating 5.9
2016-12-08 21:04:33
rating 6
2016-12-07 21:09:17
rating 6
2016-12-06 17:59:32
rating 6
2016-10-06 08:51:41
rating 5.7
2016-04-20 19:06:50
rating 5.8
2016-01-18 08:46:18
rating 5.8

2015

2015-12-24 12:58:46
rating 5.4
2015-10-12 15:43:14
rating 6
2015-10-05 15:10:52
rating 6
2015-10-01 14:42:06
rating 6
2015-08-06 15:36:54
rating 5.7
2015-07-17 00:28:10
rating 5.8
2015-07-15 15:22:22
rating 6
2015-06-30 11:54:03
rating 5.9
2015-04-22 14:17:08
rating 5.6
2015-04-20 12:52:18
rating 5.6
2015-04-10 01:05:15
rating 5.5
2015-03-17 00:43:05
rating 5.7
2015-03-12 14:31:14
rating 6
2015-03-11 00:24:39
rating 5.8
2015-03-04 13:54:35
rating 6
2015-03-02 15:21:24
rating 5.3
2015-02-23 15:46:24
rating 6
2015-02-19 12:56:45
rating 6
2015-01-22 12:58:39
rating 5.6
2015-01-20 18:36:18
rating 6
2015-01-20 13:55:35
rating 5.7
2015-01-13 17:42:41
rating 6
2015-01-12 14:19:44
rating 5.6
2015-01-01 18:21:17
rating 6

2014

2014-12-31 10:04:22
rating 5.7
2014-12-30 10:59:38
rating 6
2014-12-23 09:56:24
rating 6
2014-12-10 14:26:16
rating 5.9
2014-12-09 19:10:26
rating 6
2014-12-01 09:22:30
rating 6
2014-11-29 11:30:56
rating 5.9
2014-11-26 18:07:55
rating 6
2014-11-09 22:35:16
rating 6
2014-11-07 12:26:08
rating 6
2014-11-06 11:55:47
rating 6
2014-11-03 13:49:56
rating 6
2014-10-28 21:49:57
rating 6
2014-10-28 19:50:01
rating 6
2014-10-24 11:36:26
rating 5.9
2014-10-23 11:43:20
rating 6
2014-10-21 01:42:26
rating 5.9
2014-10-19 22:19:28
rating 6
2014-10-17 23:39:15
rating 6
2014-10-13 23:48:20
rating 6
2014-10-01 15:24:43
rating 5.9
2014-09-26 17:01:02
rating 5.9
2014-09-25 20:40:17
rating 6
2014-09-23 14:10:11
rating 6
2014-09-16 15:35:31
rating 6
2014-09-16 00:15:22
rating 6
2014-09-11 16:16:54
rating 5.8
2014-11-29 11:30:56
20 votes, rating 5.9
What a week! Part 1
It is Monday, and the mood around the Green Tide camp is grim. The last seven games have been an unmitigated disaster, lowlights of which included the deaths of Shiggla Koldblud, Krishnash Elfmaima, Ziggrit Nosepikka and Nurnk Spidarida, super star player Yakka Flemfroat suffered a smashed hip AND a smashed collar bone and star player Droggle Ratkilla suffered a smashed collar bone, a pitch invation which saw every Tide player attacked and stunned and more perfect defences than you could shake a stick at. The Great Gobbo is at his wits end (which is not a short journey before anybody says it).

KO! Magazine: "What's the matter Great Gobbo?"
The Great Gobbo: "I dunno, I az nevva sin bad lukk like it! It'z like we az pissed Nuffle off persunally"
KO: "Perhaps Nuffle is a cat lover!"
GG: "Yeh......YEH!"
KO: "That was meant to be a joke Great Gobbo"
GG: "Fink about it tho, I bet sum o dose katz wot Nige ad woz blakk, an dat iz well unlucky innit!"
KO: "Don't talk superstitious rubbish. Anyway there is nothing you can do to change your luck"
GG: "Oh ent der? We'll see bout dat!"

Tuesday rolls around and we arrive at the training swamp the same time as a courier bearing a large wooden crate.

KO: "What's this Great Gobbo?"
GG: "Ahh gud, itz ear like ee sed. I went an saw Honest John last nite an got meself a lukk changing kit, gizza and wiv der lid"

The crate is opened to reveal an odd assortment of items including a small plastic child's trumpet and mysterious bottles of black liquid. On top is a piece of paper which reads as follows:

'Congratulations on your purchase of Honest Johns Luck Changing Kit! Inside this crate you will find everything you will need to successfully capture a leprechaun, nature's luckiest creature, who will grant you three wishes for their release.

Contents of this kit:

1 x Official Leprechaun Catching Net
1 x Official Leprechaun Stunning Club
1 x Box of Lucky Charms Cereal
1 x Official Leprechaun Hunting Horn
10 x Bottles of Gwiness Grog

Instructions for use:

STEP 1.

Find a location where a leprechaun is likely to be. Traditional spots include end of rainbows, mystical forest clearings and under large toadstools.

STEP 2.

Pour the Lucky Charms cereal into a bowl and leave out as bait to draw in the leprechaun.

STEP 3.

Keep your Official Leprechaun Catching net and club handy whilst you wait in hiding for the leprechaun. Whilst waiting drink your Gwiness Grog to improve your leprechaun spotting ability.

STEP 4.

When you spot your leprechaun blow your Official Leprechaun Hunting Horn to signal the start of the hunt, then net your leprechaun. Using the club provided break its legs to prevent escape. If it gives you any lip smack it a few more times with the club to ensure maximum co-operation.

ENJOY AND HAPPY HUNTING!

Honest John accepts no responsibility for the non-existence of leprechauns.

KO: "How much did all this cost?"
GG: "Sekret. Now kum on Nige, we az a leprechaun ter katch!"

TO BE CONTINUED.....
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Comments
Posted by scipio_uranus on 2014-11-29 11:42:30
Where can I buy this kit??
Posted by SerenadeOfSorrow on 2014-11-29 11:52:34
i wanna buy 1 to ...does honest job do bulk discount?
Posted by fredoman on 2014-11-29 11:55:37
very nice... thx for this Gobbo :)
Posted by The_Great_Gobbo on 2014-11-29 11:56:25
Honest John iz a bit like der A Teem, mebbe if yew kan find im den mebbe ee will sell yer stuff. Cash only mind, no refundz.
Posted by Garion on 2014-11-29 11:58:44
I love The Great Gobo
Posted by Merrick_ABAO on 2014-11-29 12:49:10
Seems legit.
Posted by Emeyin on 2014-11-29 13:42:12
Had a good laugh. Thanks.
Posted by Stimme on 2014-11-29 22:55:15
It's been a bad week for goblin teams. CTGFM lost legendary Groucho and only a few games later, also super star Bonzo II. Something is in the air. And it is not green and smelly.