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jdmickleburgh
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2018

2018-09-23 07:56:20
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rating 6
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rating 5.4
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rating 5.3
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rating 6
2018-07-22 18:31:23
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2018-02-04 09:26:54
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2017-12-14 18:28:46
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2017-01-01 16:52:33
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2016

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2015

2015-12-29 13:43:59
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2016-04-30 21:50:15
26 votes, rating 5.7
Journal of Ogrephysical Research #1
Ladies and gentleman, the inaugural issue of The Journal of Ogrephysical Research has been published. Detailing all of the most recent advances in ogre science, it is the published location for cutting edge research performed in the field by the Large Ogre Colliders.

As this is the first issue of the journal, any feedback, compliments, criticisms or suggestions for features you wish to see would be greatly appreciated by the publishers. Please use their contact information in the "Publication Information" tab below.



In this issue:


It was a bumper month for ogre science, with 10 elements being discovered on the pitch. The LOC would like to thank all of their research partners who made this groundbreaking (often literally) research possible

ElementDiscovererInstitutionDirector of InstitutionDate
BoronDown Under-WorldFrawsteh2016/03/30
HydrogenK'Chain Che'Malle BBazakastine2016/03/30
OxygenAmazing Stuffthenumber172016/04/03
HeliumLobito otiboLalbaceleste2016/04/14
LithiumLobito otiboLalbaceleste2016/04/14
PhosphorusZomlebritiesZynox2016/04/18
SiliconMonaco SlyqueBlodgeyDocker2016/04/22
NeonLegion of Azgorthmdd312016/04/22
NitrogenBudapest Punksokostomi2016/04/25
ZincFragilissimae Lightweightsdoclystria2016/04/27

The LOC would like to report a month of mixed success. There have been some amazing highs (as detailed in the research highlights) but also lots of moments of stupidity. Field work has been an area where the LOC have really struggled to pull their weight this month, as is evidenced below with a breakdown of the races they have gone into partnership with and the outcomes from those partnerships.

35 research partnerships were undertaken in the month of April. 5 of these proved succesful for the LOC, 4 produced inconclusive results and 26 had a negative outcome.

The most common research partners were lizardmen, but in a case too many cooks spoiling the broth, this led to too much bonehead spoiling the game, and no successful outcomes were achieved by the LOC.

Conversely, research undertaken in conjunction with ogres and dwarves (those most unlikely of partners) led to fruitful results for the LOC.

In the next month, the LOC are looking to take up research with Elf, Halfling, High Elf, Khemri and Norse scientists. If you know of interested researchers from these races then please make an appointment with the LOC using the scheduler



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Despite the lack of success in the field for the LOC this month, there were a few endeavours which bore fruitful results and many more examples of excellent practice, if not excellent results.

In their first collaboration in the box, the LOC teamed up with a group of dwarf scientists for a joint piece of research into "the effects of block and tackle when applied to snotlings in a field." This collaboration was ultimately successful for the snotlings who managed to thwart all dwarven attempts to probe them. Read more about this research here.

Storm were overhead when the ogre institution managed by coach Sniffer came to visit the LOC institution. It is with deepest regret that we must acknowledge several violent incidents breaking out during this visit, leaving several ogres dead and maimed. However the LOC still managed to get some constructive research accomplished during the visit and you can read more about this research here.

Further violence broke out during a visit by a group of travelling Chaos Dwarf researchers. The LOC attempted to calm the Chaos Dwarfs by taking them to the canteen on site but sadly the Dwarfs were too preoccupied with the latest advancements in snotling smashing and so many cups were broken. The LOC managed to repair a lot of the damage (research grants go a long way) but the scene was still similar to a bull in a china shop. On the plus side, a paper was published into "the effects of snotling introduction into a boiling liquid solution." Further details here.

More recently, the LOC participated in a science tournament entitled the "black box brawl" - aiming to explain the core concepts of research to a lay audience. The tournament was a knock out style and in the first round the team from the LOC were drawn against a nurgle research team, whose research consisted of explaining how Nurgle's Rot can be used to advance quality of life. Sad to say that the LOC lost the debate that day but their talk (along with the Nurgle talk) is still available as a NAF talk and is viewable here.


Ogre science is a risky business. The JOR is sad to report the loss of the following 9 colleagues and friends this month.


Yoichirogre Nambu had only been with the LOC long enough to conduct and complete 4 research ventures before he was taken from us.


Roland Eötvögre came to the research institue a day before Yoichirogre and was sadly fatally wounded during the same research expedition that took Yoichirogre.


Yoichirogre Nambu, the brother of Yoichirogre Nambu, lost his life during a lab explosion that also claimed the life of his friend Niels.


Niels Bohgre completed his PhD at the same institution as Yoichirogre and accompanied him in his trip to the LOC institute. He too lost his life in the lab explosion. Investigations are ongoing but the wires leading into the lab look as though they were gnawed through, with some cheese left near the crime scene providing extra clues as to the culprits.


Erwin Schrödogre had been with the LOC for some time. He was known for the agility with which his brain worked as well as the power with which he would guard his views and research from dissenting opinions. You will be missed Erwin.


Richard Feynogre had a long and completely uneventful career at the LOC research academy. He showed up, put in his time and left at the end of the day. The editor of this journal struggled to find anyone who could give a personal testimony about Richard's life.


Yoichirogre Nambu was a founding father of the LOC research academy, having been with the academy since day one. He was known to stand firm in arguments as well as the tenacity with which he would guard his positions. He had a troubled personal life, being often in trouble with the police for grabbing female ogres close to his place of work and it is this that led to his contract with the LOC being terminated.


Roland Eötvögre was also a founding father of the institute, completing 25 research projects prior to his demise. He would socialise with Yoichirogre and they shared the same positive and negative personality traits. He was also let go during the police investigation of the institute, bought on by his and Yoichirogre's actions after work.


Niels Bohgre had a promising science career ahead of him before he was cut down in his prime. He was used to vigour with which new ideas are debated, standing firm on his positions and guarding his research from false conclusions and interpretations. He was known to pile on to false claims in the field of ogre science. His friends remember him for always keeping them honest. Sadly he fell victim to a progressive neurological disease which meant his brain was no longer as agile as it once was.


The Journal of Ogrephysical Research is published by Old World Press.

If you wish to submit an article, comment, criticise or complain then please contact the editor here.

Rate this entry
Comments
Posted by ArrestedDevelopment on 2016-04-30 22:30:03
This is killer! :D

... I'm not sure I'd be mass (spec) retiring ogres in for lack of doubles in the box though D:
Posted by thoralf on 2016-04-30 22:45:50
Bestest.

An Internet to you, Sir!
Posted by jdmickleburgh on 2016-04-30 22:50:04
I had nearly 600k in the bank. Retired 3 and got 3 rookies. 2 of them died next game.

Will never make that mistake again.
Posted by ArrestedDevelopment on 2016-04-30 23:07:38
Yeah - it makes sense when you think of it in a vacuum: the problem is, as you found out the hard way, after 30 games, dropping your skills pool voluntarily can really backfire; because the scheduler doesn't care what your TV is if you're the only team in the draw able to play against a high TV monster :(
Posted by jdmickleburgh on 2016-04-30 23:15:39
Yep. Game 30 was nice and fair.
31: https://fumbbl.com/p/match?op=view&id=3798327
32: https://fumbbl.com/p/match?op=view&id=3798356

But playing a game where you have 8 ogres on the pitch, that's some hard hitting research!

Did you make a mass spectrometer joke? Ha, nerd.
Posted by SporesOfAnarchy on 2016-04-30 23:46:28
Enjoyed the fluff.

Keep up the good work.

:)
Posted by Miceycraft on 2016-05-01 00:22:23
Really nice work buddy. Thanks for all the fluff! Good to see some team background. Makes me feel a little happier when I think back to my matches against high TV killers that just say hlgf ;)

hopefully we can get a matchup again at the point so I can help with the research!

I look forward to seeing the next issue :)

+6
Posted by The_Great_Gobbo on 2016-05-01 09:00:48
Dis iz very gud stuff, we likez
Posted by B_SIDE on 2016-05-31 10:09:40
Just had a chance to play against this coach and team. A better sportsman and more entertaining team I have not seen. 6/6.