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jdmickleburgh
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2016-06-01 18:58:13
14 votes, rating 5
Journal of Ogrephysical Research #2


The Journal of Ogrephysical Research is proud to be sponsored by Goblin Championship Wrestling, a brand new promotion looking to move the frantic pace of squared circle action onto the blood bowl pitch. Coming soon to CabalVision and filling the 10pm slot left vacant by "So You Think You Can Block"

Ladies and gentleman, the second issue of The Journal of Ogrephysical Research has been published. Detailing all of the most recent advances in ogre science, it is the published location for cutting edge research performed in the field by the Large Ogre CollidARRs.

The promised revamp of the journal layout has yet to materialise due to strike action being undertaken at the publishing house. Next month is apparently the new timeframe for this.



In this issue:


Sometimes a negative result can tell you as much as a positive result. This applies to the LOC's results on the field as well as to their results in the lab this month. A relatively poor showing with only 5 discoveries. Granted, there were only 28 partnerships undertaken, compared to the 35 of last month, but the LOC would like to ask research partners to pull their weight. And then put said weight fully into their blocks.

ElementDiscovererInstitutionDirector of InstitutionDate
ArgonClassic All StarsOlgrot2016/05/04
PotassiumWMD's in The BoxBillBrasky2016/05/08
BrominePoet Laureateswintergreen132016/05/21
ArsenicBloody LifestyleZynox2016/05/21
Selenium'Ead Hunterzfluffy_bunny2016/05/28

The month of May saw 28 research partnerships undertaken as the reputation of the LOC grew and scientists from all over the old world clamoured to work with them. Once again, the LOC were let down by their work in(/on) the field. This month more than last was defined by "what ifs." What if this avenue of thought hadn't distracted an ogre at the exact wrong moment, meaning he missed the bigger picture and subsequently failed to achieve his potential. What if this ogre had been in this place, rather than that place. Think of what more could have been achieved.

Nevertheless, May still saw a great variety of different research groups, with different methods of undertaking research and unique approaches to problem solving. Only 4 of the 28 collaborations proved succesful for the LOC but ogre science is about putting the hours in. The slog will eventually bring about the results.

Research partners and outcomes in May, 2516


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Extra security measures have been installed in the lab after 4 seperate raids on our expensive equipment by a group of goblin pirates. Visitors are urged to report any sighting of these green menaces near the facilities and a 2ft high fence has been erected around the facility as it is believed this is tall enough to keep the green menace at bay.

Combining last month's research with this month's further study has meant the LOC are able to present a true record of their box work so far


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As can be seen, the only race that has refused to collaborate so far is the Khemri. It is thought that their dusty and traditional methods are incompatible with the modern high speed and high tech world of ogre science.

Research highlights have been few and far between this month. A few promising avenues were opening up but this were shut down due to allegation of foul play leading to deaths of visiting researchers.

As has been noted elsewhere and is no longer covered by the official secrets act, the LOC were asked to conduct research into the impacts of weapons of mass destruction upon the health of snotlings. However this research was beset with difficulties from the outsut as allegation of foul play flew back and forth and when the dust cleared both Stark and Rivers, two legends in the field of chaos science, were dead in the lab.

The LOC were delighted when they heard that the Classic All-Stars were able to pay a short visit to the ogre lab. Despite allegation of steroid abuse hanging over some of their researchers, the All Stars are widely respected in the field of chaos science, none more so than the truly phenomenal Juergen Demonfeeder. This researcher has the strength of an ogre and the agility of mind that surpasses an elf. However he hadn't anticipated that he'd run into (literally) his old flame Bertha Bigfist. The shock of seeing Bertha caused Juergen to suffer cardiac arrest and sadly the LOC medical team weren't able to revive him.

The highlight of the month happened when the LOC went to visit the notorious undead researchers Boots r us who are making fanatastic advancements in health by ridding the world of the scourge of cpomb. This curse, which has been sweeping the old world like a plague of goblins, is being answered by the undead with a unique approach: insertion of boot to the face of the cpomber. A novel approach indeed. The LOC were overjoyed at recent advancements in this field, as CPOMB has at times ravaged the halls of the LOC. Much fruitful discussion was had and the LOC left renewed with hope and vigour.


Ogre science is a risky business. The JOR is sad to report the loss/retirement of the following 3 colleagues and friends this month.


Erwin Schrödogre lost his life during the visit of the Classic All Stars. Rumours that he was having a secret affair with Bertha and died of a broken heart after seeing the enthusiasm with which she greeted Juergen Demonfeeder are unfounded.


Werner Heisenbonehead had only been working with the LOC for a short period of time before some falling equipment landed on his back and he had to retire from active science. A promising career cut short by a lack of basic elf and safety.


Paul Ograc was a fixture at the LOC, having been with the institution since almost day 1, only missing a few shifts due to illness and injury sustained on the job. Uncle Grumpy, a troll know to frequent the underneath of bridges close to the LOC research institute, is wanted in connection with Paul's death.


The Journal of Ogrephysical Research is published by Old World Press.

If you wish to submit an article, comment, criticise or complain then please contact the editor here.
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Comments
Posted by Miceycraft on 2016-06-01 21:15:25
Nice work JD. Genuinely these journals are one of the best bits of fumbbl, I love teams with all th fluff behind them. Especially when they are box teams too so no cherry picking!

I look forward to the next one. Hopefully I can discover some elements with your scientists next month.
Posted by jdmickleburgh on 2016-06-01 21:18:11
Hopefully I can get my ass into gear and sort out those page graphics we were talking about... Cough cough... I mean sort out the strike at the printers
Posted by garyt1 on 2016-06-02 00:34:10
Fantastic research!!
This is a bit highbrow for the Ogres of the World of Wrestling team but Littl Lord Lucan approves.