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ttorvatn
Last seen 4 hours ago
Lizardman
Star
Lizardman
Record
44/6/31
Win Percentage
58%
Orc
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Orc
Record
41/8/29
Win Percentage
58%
Overall
[R]
Super Star
Overall
Record
116/12/127
Win Percentage
48%
Archive

2018

2018-11-23 19:14:25
rating 6
2018-11-22 22:26:57
rating 6
2018-07-13 14:23:09
rating 6
2018-03-29 22:54:48
rating 6
2018-02-03 00:13:00
rating 6
2018-02-02 04:00:04
rating 5.2
2018-02-01 03:55:19
rating 6
2018-01-18 05:36:42
rating 5.4

2017

2017-11-15 17:26:53
rating 6
2017-11-14 19:03:04
rating 6
2017-11-12 23:34:37
rating 6
2017-10-08 10:19:08
rating 6
2017-07-21 11:55:09
rating 6
2017-07-21 11:45:29
rating 6
2017-05-02 22:54:16
rating 6
2017-04-11 18:25:33
rating 6
2017-03-28 20:48:26
rating 6
2017-01-27 11:42:14
rating 5.3
2017-01-25 18:25:48
rating 5.4
2017-01-24 02:15:28
rating 5
2017-01-22 19:40:08
rating 5.2

2016

2016-11-15 22:35:45
rating 5.5
2016-10-22 01:34:31
rating 6
2016-10-01 11:09:57
rating 3.7

2013

2013-11-21 14:00:45
rating 5.4
2013-11-07 13:14:01
rating 3.5
2013-10-07 15:46:18
rating 4.4

2012

2012-01-07 11:25:51
rating 4.8

2011

2011-07-09 21:21:07
rating 2.5
2016-10-22 01:34:31
6 votes, rating 6
Carroburg internal...
Coach Vatn barges into the changing room where his team are still in their uniforms. They all look depressed after the surprise loss to the Wolfskins, except for Friedrich, who is desperately trying to find someone to tell that he didn’t mean to harm those two players… Coach is more animated than usual, and his face is glowing red. “You people”, he announces with a loud voice, “…you are a Dee-Ai-Ess-Dji-Ar-ei-cee-e; a true DISGRACE to the sports!” Everyone looks away, and nobody wants to meet the coach’s eyes while Friedrich mumbles as he tries to fit the spelling together to a word.

“You!” Coach Vatn screams as he points at lanky Hattendorf, the back-up catcher. “First you fail to pick up the ball (R7: roll 2 on a 3+), and then, when Turbin sacrifices himself to pick it up FOR you, you can’t even handle an easy catch on a handover!!!” (R8: Turbin rolls 4 and then 6 on a 5+ pick-up in two tackle zones, while Hattendorf rolls 1 and 2 on the 3+ catch of a hand-off). Hattendorf’s brown eyes glow, but he quickly turns away and mumbles: “No explanation, coach!”, knowing full well that when the coach is in this mood no explanation is going to help.

Friedrich puts his huge hand in the air: “If you would listen, coach, I just want to tell you that I was only trying to push those guys a little…” Coach Vatn turns away and looks for Anders. “And you Anders, how could you stumble on that easy Dodge (R6: Anders rolls 1 and 1 on a 2+ dodge)". ?” He shouts in the general direction of Anders' bench, but he is not there. Coach looks desperately around for his 6’3” star quarterback, but can’t see him anywhere. “He’s at the doctor, coach”, Nicola says while Friedrich uses his big arms to show how he pushes someone. “Juuust a tiny small push it was, coach. I swear…”

“Ah, well.” TJ is the next target and coach Vatn homes in on him like a guided goblin missile, or possibly a drunken sailor… “And you!” He points at TJ’s broken arm. “How could you possibly miss dodging that slow oaf Theismann (MA4)? Do you think I pay you to stand there and get hit?” Pale-faced from pain, and clutching his broken arm, TJ answers in his northern Marienburg accent, “Just trying to do my job and protect the ball, coach.” Friedrich’s pleads once more with coach Vatn. “About those hits, coach, they were… well… unintended, sort of…”

“Will you SHUT UP!” Coach Vatn screams to Friedrich. “You got two cas, Friedrich. Two cas! I am satisfied with that. In fact, you were just about the only one doing your job out there today. So now SHUT UP!” A dazed Friedrich sit back on his bench, mumbling: “thanks, but I really didn’t mean it…” Nicola tries to soothe him, and Friedrich explains in a wondrous tone: “I don’t think the coach is angry with me, Nicola!” “No kidding, big guy”, Nicola says with a grin. “This is what he has wanted you to do for the whole season. You are his hero today!” Friedrich nods confusedly. “Isn’t it strange that you can be a hero for hurting people…?” (1 on a bonehead roll…)

“And you worst of all, Althoff!” Coach Vatn stands across from the big Blitzer. “Why on EARTH did you not score when you were free in the first half, instead of letting those guys sack youl??” Althoff, never a man to back down, nevertheless looks ashamedly down: “I’m a hitter, coach. Never had to run the ball in my whole career…”

Everybody jumps as a loud crash sounds as Inga’s helmet is thrown onto a pile of other helmets. “That’s enough, coach!”, she shouts assertively. “You know full well Althoff did not score because you were standing less than an inch outside of the sideline, screaming to him to continue to stall! It’s not as if you weren’t loud. I could hear you from the other side of the field!” She saunters up to the coach, and stares him in the eye. Up in the eye, actually, as she is fully 2 inches shorter than him. Not that coach Vatn feels very superior at the moment, remembering full well what Inga has just mentioned. “Ehm…”

Inga does not intend to let up, though. “And it was you who told me not to put TJ on the midline. He could be blitzed there, you said, and then we didn’t manage to score and equalize the game.” Coach Vatn ungraciously looses the staring contest with the young back-up quarterback. “It has been known to happen…” he claims with a small voice. Inga pushes her advantage: “And YOU have been telling us all week about what a pushover the Wolfskins would be, and how we should save ourselves for the REAL match against the Unicorns… Or do you deny that?” Coach Vatn takes one step backwards to get some distance to his quarterback. “Ehm. Well… they are usually better…” .

“And where were you yesterday when we were supposed to watch the replay of the latest wolfskins match?” Coach Vatn nervously twiddles his thumbs. “uh..I had told Anders what points I wanted to make..” Raoul murmurs: “A friend of mine thinks he saw the coach at a house of ill repute… guess he must have been mistaken, coach?” Coach Vatn excuses himself as he blushes a brilliant red. “Uhm. Time for me to go I guess..” He retreats meekly out of the changing room before more can be said about last evening.

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Comments
Posted by bghandras on 2016-10-22 09:00:28
Watch out for that backup QB. :)
I guess she will roll Stat, or coach will put her on the LOS.
Posted by Meanandugl on 2016-10-22 10:29:01
Hilarious, you made me laugh. Really great fluff, thanks a lot