“No worries, I love frogs. :P

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Dear Kam,

I am here to learn how to cook, boil, slice and dice Slann properly. Could you enlighten me?

- BG Handras

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Dear Mr Handras,

It's pretty easy. I learned this recipe from Gramma Kam. First off, you need boots. Not every kind of boots. Heavy, spikey boots from the Moot. It's essential to tenderize the meat. Then you need cherries. Don't ask me why, it doesn't even go well with Slann meat, but my gramma always said "start with a cherry". And finally, you need a Blood Bowl team, and fans as well, with rocks, to tenderize the meat even more.

Once you have all that, ask your trees to slash the first frog they see. That's what Bretonian cooks call a bouquet garni. Then come the boots. You need enough boots to separate those juicy legs from the body. At this point, you may have to get rid of the ref for a couple of turns: it's hard to cook when frogs are trying to bite you. Kicking him in the nuts is pretty effective, and should give you a few turns to breathe.

Here is the most important part: you need to degorge (as say the Bretonians again) the legs in milk. Preferably Bull Centaur milk. It has a spicy, chaotic aftertaste that can't be reproduced. Milking a bull sounds kinda dangerous (and perverted), but trust me, it's worth the risk. After a half time marinade, your legs should be almost ready, and most of your flings will probably be at the kitchen door, faking injuries. It's time to deep fry them in your chef's cauldron. Don't overseason them: that'd kill the taste. And don't overcook them either: it dries faster than chicken. You can serve them with rice or Bretonian fries.

Swamply yours,

- Kam, head chef of the Flying Sammiches”