“Smart play from DoubleSkulls meant the Rotters took no chances, caging the ball at every opportunity, and scaring any nearby rats with their disgusting faces. For their part, the Rats were weak, and disorganised. The absence of their Captain, Hitler (due to being framed for crimes he couldn't have committed) meant they lacked any strong presence on the field, and it showed as they were beaten from pillar to post by tougher opposition. The only consolation was the death of Socks' Mr Green, due to a swift kick to the head from Graf Zeppelin. A smashed hip to Claudia Schiffer means she will miss the next game and never move quite as quickly again.”
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