| Player | Position | Games | SPPs | Skills | Injuries |
13 | Grass Nolton III | Goblin | 4 | 1 | Dodge, Right Stuff, Stunty | d |
15 | Greeny Watson IV | Goblin | 7 | 5 | Dodge, Right Stuff, Stunty | n |
15 | Greeny Watson III | Goblin | 9 | 20 | Dodge, Right Stuff, Stunty, Side Step | d |
13 | Grass Nolton II | Goblin | 10 | 0 | Dodge, Right Stuff, Stunty | d |
9 | Natasha Green II | Goblin | 20 | 10 | Dodge, Right Stuff, Stunty, Diving Tackle | m, -ag |
15 | Grass Nolton | Goblin | 14 | 4 | Dodge, Right Stuff, Stunty | m, -ma |
13 | Greeny Watson II | Goblin | 17 | 18 | Dodge, Right Stuff, Stunty, Side Step, Jump Up | -ag |
13 | Greeny Watson | Goblin | 1 | 5 | Dodge, Right Stuff, Stunty | d |
12 | Malcolm Greenstein | Goblin | 34 | 21 | Dodge, Right Stuff, Stunty, Side Step, +ST | m, n |
11 | Seth Green | Goblin | 33 | 31 | Dodge, Right Stuff, Stunty, +AG, +MA | m, d |
10 | De'Green O'Neal | Goblin | 34 | 20 | Dodge, Right Stuff, Stunty, Side Step, Diving Tackle | m, m, m, d |
9 | Natasha Green | Goblin | 11 | 9 | Dodge, Right Stuff, Stunty, Side Step | n, m |
8 | Steve Greenberg | Goblin | 13 | 7 | Dodge, Right Stuff, Stunty, Side Step | -ma |
7 | Eric Greensfield | Goblin | 25 | 19 | Dodge, Right Stuff, Stunty, Dirty Player, Sneaky Git | d |
6 | Bugs Bunny (with a chainsaw) | Looney | 34 | 22 | Chainsaw, Secret Weapon, Stunty, Sure Feet, Dodge | -ma, n |
5 | Kermit | Pogoer | 34 | 25 | Dodge, Leap, Very Long Legs, Stunty, Sure Feet, Sprint | m, m, m, m, d |
4 | Katyusha | Bomma | 37 | 10 | Dodge, Bombardier, Secret Weapon, Stunty, Catch | |
3 | Christian Fundamentalist | Fanatic | 11 | 5 | Ball & Chain, No Hands, Secret Weapon, Stunty | n, -st, m, -av |
2 | The IRC Lurker | Troll | 37 | 31 | Mighty Blow, Always Hungry, Loner, Really Stupid, Regeneration, Throw Team-Mate, Guard, Multiple Block, Break Tackle | |
1 | The Forum Lurker | Troll | 35 | 36 | Mighty Blow, Always Hungry, Loner, Really Stupid, Regeneration, Throw Team-Mate, Guard, Break Tackle, Thick Skull | m, m |