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Sjögunnarsbo Swashbucklers

Et conteram arbores.

Ahoy, ye mateys! Empty your grog and ready your sea legs! Do you have what it takes to leave the landlubbers behind and set sail with a cut-throat band of scallywags and ne'er-do-wells? Do you feel the sirens call of pillage, plunder, loot, treasure and booty? Good! Because you've just been press ganged into Sjögunnarsbo Swashbucklers. Here's your cutlass and your pistol, sailor. You'd better pull your weight or it's the plank for you, savy?

To be a Swashbuckler is to boom about on the minor Swedish lake "Åsunden" and to set fear in the honest salts that dare sail there! Merchant ships, tourist boats, even small fishing vessels - no one is safe from our canons. No parley, no quarter. You get caught by the swashbucklers you either join our crew or get sent to Davy Jones' locker.

Unfortunately plunder is on the decline. And being restricted to an isolated body of water severely limits the amount of treasure to be won at the point of a sword. To help compensate for this unfortunate turn of events, and to keep the hoard filled with booty there is but one cause of action - gold must be won in a game where ones skills in lying, cheating, kidnapping, rampaging, plundering, marooning, sinking, fighting, stabbing and so on can be fully utilized. This leaves but one option:
BLOOD BOWL!


The Crew:




Other Stuff:




"Run? I thought you said rum..."

Grogmaster Julie
To be in charge of the drink onboard a pirate ship is to be a god amongst men (or elves, as the case may be). And the Grogmaster is perhaps the most vital of champions in the war against sobriety. The Grogmaster is expected not only to hand out the rations to the rest of the crew, but also be in a continuous state of drunken haze herself. Julie is the current holder of this prestigious position and she is a villain true and through. She excels and pillaging, plundering and pilfering but also dabbles in hijacking and murdering.

She doubles on the Blood Bowl pitch as the team's runner, a role in which she has yet performed little of note.




"Bah! Bathing never lasts, so why bother!?"

Dirty Old Keith
It is a commonly held belief amongst buccaneers that bathing is an abomination unto Nuffle. But the ships quartermaster, Dirty Old Keith, embodies this view more than anyone in Sjögunnarsbo Swashbucklers. He reasons that a body cleanses itself with it's natural oils, and that they'll kick in any day now. As a quartermaster Keith is in charge of maintaining and handing out equipment to the ships crew. He's a rascal, a knave and a really bad egg.

When playing Blood Bowl, Keith takes to the field as a merciless blitzer ready to let his hook hand pierce the soft flesh of any daft fool who dare stands in his way. In theory that is. In practice he has yet to perform anything noteworthy...




"Well now, don't go around asking questions you don't want answered. Like what's in the stew."

Scurvy Blum
Of all the crazed corsairs on the Raggamuffin, the ships cook - Scurvy Blum, is perhaps the most unhinged of them all. He's a frothing madman that treats cooking like a torturer would a victim. The food he puts on the table is damn near uneditable and manages to be both severely overcooked as well as wriggling like were it alive. Yet the crew dare not complain for fear of mysteriously disappearing and ending up in next Tuesdays "mystery stew".

When the Swashbucklers engage in the glorious game of Blood Bowl, Scurvy Blum holds the position as Blitzer and is more than ready to take the fight to his enemies. So far, his deeds have been fairly unnoticeable - but who knows what gruesome fates he has planed for his foes?



"Argh! There be very few problems that a good flogging won't solve!"

Katy "Flog 'em" O'Doyle
There are lots of people who associates whips with harmless bondage fun, but the ships bosun - Katy "Flog 'em" O'Doyle, is not one of them. She is in charge of maintaining the discipline aboard the Raggamuffin and prides herself on her ability to flay the skin of the back on whoever is unfortunate enough to stand between her and the businesses end of her whip. Katy is a consummate professional, and a first class liar and cheat.

When playing the game of Blood Bowl, Katy prefers to play the role of Blitzer, where she can put her skills at hurting people in very painful ways to good use. So far she has not yet performed anything of note, but a good grip and a strong whip may get her very far indeed!



"If it weren't for the fact that the ship needs a crew, you'd all be walking the plank right now!"

Liam Plankwalker
On a pirate ship, the administration of plank walking and the maintaining of the plank is a sacred duty, and one that Liam Plankwalker performs with a fanatical devotion. To make someone walk the plank, he reasons, is the cleanest and most artful way to take a life leaving neither body nor uncomfortable stains on the ships deck. A true pirate, Liam is a rascal, a knave and an all around scallywag.

There are no planks on the Blood Bowl pitch, but to Liam the plank is a state of mind that easily translates to the art of Blitzing. So far he has not yet drawn any real attention to him.



The Pirate Code
Aye. To be a pirate is to hang the rules of polite society by the neck until dead. But that doesn't mean that we act as mindless beasts! No. For a man (or elf, as the case may be) must have a code. Here are the set of laws that each buccaneer know by heart:


Article I: Water is for sailing, not drinking!
The Pirate who slakes her thirst on water is the daftest of fools! Ken ye well
the beverages of the pirate: The grog! The rum! The ale! The wood alcohol!
Any pirate who is caught with a skin of water is to be flogged with fifteen lashes!


Article II: Take what ye can! Give nothing back!
The Pirate is amongst liars, thieves, and cheats what the lions is amongst lambs. To bear the proud hat (tricorn or otherwise) of the pirate you must be prepared to steal everything that isn't bolted down, then return with the appropriate tools to remove said bolts (which shall then be stolen as well).


Article III: Suffer not the Ninja to live!
Arrrgh! The Ninja be the lowest of gods creatures, vile and ridiculous to the extreme! The very anthesis of good natured piracy! Be not only the opposite of everything the ninja strives to be (the pirate be loud where the ninja be silent, the pirate be blunt where the ninja is subtle and so on) but actively seek to eradicate the stain of ninjutsu whenever it is possible!


Article IV: Scurvy is a state of mind!
Blimey! There be lots of fancy talk recently on how the dreaded condition known as "Scurvy" is a disease that can be cured by eating "fruits" and "vegetables". Nothing is further from from the truth! As all honest salts know, scurvy is beaten by sheer willpower alone! Any fool who buys into the superstition that fruit keeps the teeth locked in place will face fifteen lashes with the Cat O' Nine tails!


Article V: Dead men (and women) tell no tales!
Survivors - what are they good for? It is a well known fact that you need to be alive in order to witness against someone in court, unless your one of 'em nasty zombies or other sneaky undead types. So it stands to reason that there is little use in leaving an enemy alive. As such all captured enemies are to walk the plank, take a pistol to the head, dance the hemp fandango or meet an otherwise gruesome end - unless they elect to join the crew that is.


Article VI: Keep math skill sharp at all times!
It may be true that X marks the spot, but how are ye supposed to find a buried treasure if you cannot truly tell what X is? To this end the crew will be tested on their mathematical abilities on a biweekly basis. Any crewmember who fails to achieve a passing grade on this test shall find themself on the whipping end of a rope and face fifteen lashes!


Article VII: Hide your IP by using a proxy!
The fool engages in piracy with her IP address exposed for all to see! This will eventually lead to capture by the authorities and subsequent walking of the plank. The true pirate connects via a proxy so everyone thinks your in Brazil while you're actually in Mongolia.


Article VIII: Not all treasure is silver and gold, mate!
Truer words have never been spoken, for there are also bank notes, platinum, pearls, Apple shares, diamonds, Pokémon cards, paintings, rechargeable batteries and so forth. To the real pirate everything can be pawned to the right person, so make no discrimination in what you chose to pilfer.


Article IX: Port is the ships left, Starboard is the ships right!
For crying out loud ye daft swabbie, how bleedin' hard can this be?


Article X: Lights out at 8 pm!
Hoy there, sailor! Don't you know it's a day tomorrow as well. You may be a plundering, pillaging rascal - but that is no reason to stay up after bed time! Any crewmember caught up after 8 pm (without the captain's written permission) will face a flogging they won't soon forget - fifteen lashes that is!


Yar! That be the long and the short of it. Keep the pirate code in mind and don't forget to have fun while you're at it!



The life of a pirate is fast and brutal, and age expectancy is somewhat low. There are no small amount of gruesome ends available to the career of a promising buccaneer. Those that get sent to Davy Jones' Locker during active duty are penned here, in the dead book, so that all may remember the glorious deeds of these once fearsome swashbucklers.



Sandra McKraken
Killed by - Onkel Vinter, Teenage Mutant Ninja Banjos
Alas poor Sandra, we hardly knew ye!



A pirate loves many things: Pistols, cutlasses, hooks, tricorn hats, parrots, rum, canons and broadsides. But all of that pales in comparison to the pirate's natural craving for booty! Indeed a pirate's worth is often determined by the size of their booty alone. All plunder and treasure that the Sjögunnarsbo Swashbucklers gathered are stored here, in the hold of the Raggamuffin.



Two wooden nickels, a paper clip, an IOU and a dirty postcard
Currently the plundering game is not going that hot, and the crew is a bit down on their luck. As such, the only "treasures" readily available are of questionable value...



Maritime life is often filled to the brim with danger, and the life expectancy of a captain (especially one who chose to sail under the blag flag) can during unfortunate circumstances be woefully short. So that a captain's experience is not lost when the inevitable occurs, she keeps a thorough log on what goes on aboard the ship.


Day 15
We scrambled, scrapped and slouched. We fought like pirates. And in the end, we won our victory in our very first game! The entire mess was a horrible chaotic affair and much blood was spilled - Sandra McKraken now sleeps in David Jones' Locker, and not even a hook hand could make David Deckhand useful again. We now prepare for our second game - against the feeble garden critters of "Garden Critters".
Annabelle Sergeant, Captain of the Raggamuffin

Day 14
Another splendid step forward! We have been approached by sponsor in the form of a beer company called "Gnoblars Gold" and they want to actually give us money in order to drink their product. We pirates will drank whatever, so it's definitely a win for us. Blood Bowl training is going very well and we actually have or first real game scheduled - against the chaotic scallywags called "Teenage Mutant Ninja Banjos"! We'll make them walk the plank for sure!
Annabelle Sergeant, Captain of the Raggamuffin


Day 7
We've been making marvellous progress! Several members of the crew are now familiar with the concept of "pass" and we're pretty close to trying one out. De Bylin thinks we've got what it takes to play in a league called "LÖBBL" pretty soon.
Annabelle Sergeant, Captain of the Raggamuffin

Day 5
Blood Bowl training is going better than expected. So far we've only managed to kill three members of our crew, and we're quickly learning about a thing called "the ball" which apparently is a big deal. The manager called "Stephan de Bylin" is overseeing the efforts and making sure that Katy and Julie's gear are properly fitted.
Annabelle Sergeant, Captain of the Raggamuffin

Day 2
Today I was approached by a most vile and nicotine smelling man in a cheap suit with a soup stained tie. I resisted the urge to kill him out of common curiosity. It turns out that he's a manager in search after a new team for a strange sport called "Blood Bowl". Apparently there's booty and violence aplenty to be expected. This might be my big break
Annabelle Sergeant, Captain of the Raggamuffin

Day 1
Woe is me! While other buccaneers pillage and plunder on the seven seas we are stuck here in this miserable little lake. Looting is on the down, sacking is non-existent, even the simple joy of pilfering is getting rare. The crew haven't been paid in a long time. If this is kept up, I'm sure to have a mutiny on my hands. But how can I satisfy the crews need for blood and gold when there hasn't been another ship around for months!?
Annabelle Sergeant, Captain of the Raggamuffin



Quite different from the rest of the worm ridden ship, the Manager's Office (Or Admirals Quarters) is pleasant, well furnished and decorated in a contemporary style. Individual matches might be won and lost on the pitch, but it is here that the grander game is being played - a game of finances, talent scouting and budget cutting.

Stephan de Bylin - The Manager
Stephan de Bylin is the Manager and owner of Sjögunnarsbo Swashbucklers (as well as Marbäck Fangtastic Four, The Pleasing Peacocks, and the Waffer-thin Mints) and a complete sociopath. He is a man so devoid of sympathetic qualities that he has been divorced nine times during his life (quite a feat since he's been married only seven times). There are few vices de Bylin has not, at some point, indulged in. This includes but are not limited to: Drinking, gambling, smoking, wastefulness, violent behaviour and drug abuse - indeed, during a party in the late nineties he sniffed so much pixie dust that most of the emotion receptors in his brain burned out, leaving him only capable of feeling anger, lust, slight annoyance, avarice, narcissism and a thirst for coffee.

De Bylin is not a good manager, he has little love for the players in his teams and only value them for the money they are capable of earning him. He shows an alarming lack of interest in preserving the life and dignity of his employees, going so far as to raise the question on whether or not other people actually deserve to exist. This is perhaps most obvious when he refuses to discharge players when they've become obsolete, preferring to send them to their deaths on the line of skirmish instead of retiring them with a paid pension.



New Team Page Beta
Player Ma St Ag Av Skills Inj G Cp Td It Cs Mvp SPP Cost  
1
Witch Elf
7 3 4 7
Dodge, Frenzy, Jump Up
Block
  2 2 1 0 1 0 7/16 130k
(110+20)k
 
2
Witch Elf
7 3 4 7
Dodge, Frenzy, Jump Up
Wrestle
  1 1 0 0 0 1 6/16 130k
(110+20)k
 
3
Runner
7 3 4 7
Dump-Off
Dodge, Block
  6 2 5 0 0 1 22/31 120k
(80+40)k
 
4
Blitzer
7 3 4 8
Block
Mighty Blow, Dodge
  6 1 3 0 4 0 18/31 150k
(100+50)k
 
5
Blitzer
7 3 4 8
Block
Dodge
  5 1 1 0 0 1 9/16 120k
(100+20)k
 
6
Blitzer
7 3 4 8
Block
Guard
  6 1 0 0 1 1 8/16 130k
(100+30)k
 
7
Blitzer
7 3 4 8
Block
Guard
  6 0 0 0 2 1 9/16 130k
(100+30)k
 
8
Lineman
6 3 4 8   6 3 0 0 1 0 5/6 70k
(70+0)k
 
10
Lineman
6 3 4 8
Kick
  6 0 0 0 1 1 7/16 90k
(70+20)k
 
11
Lineman
5 3 4 8 -ma 5 0 0 0 0 0 0/6 70k
(70+0)k
 
12
Lineman
6 3 4 8   6 0 0 0 1 0 2/6 70k
(70+0)k
 
11 players  
Coach: GrimLavamancer Re-Rolls (100k): 2  
Race: Dark Elf Fan Factor: 4  
Current Team Value: 1400k Assistant Coaches: 0  
Treasury: 60k Cheerleaders: 0  
Team Value: 1400k Apothecary: Yes  

Games Played:6 (4/1/1) |TD Diff:3 (10 - 7) |Cas Diff:-2 (9/1/1 - 9/3/1)
Last Opponent: Radiant Raptors (Old)