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Der Green Tide
Roster [R] Goblin
Team Colours: Green innit?

Symbol: Yer wot?

Owner: Der Great Gobbo

Head Coach: Der Great Gobbo

Home Stadium: Weez lost der furst wun, den we used der Badlands Community Swamp befoar movin inter our new staydeeum jus outside Heiligerberg kalled Greeda Stinkbreath Memorial Field wich KO! Magazine payed fer.

Der Green Tide are a very new team, formed in 2514 when a mysterious and enigmatic goblin calling himself 'Der Great Gobbo' turned up in the Marshes of Madness. Claiming to have had a vision from Gork and Mork themselves, in which he claimed they had given him the knowledge to become a Blood Bowl coaching genius, and despite displaying the signs of repeated hallucinogenic toad abuse he managed to rally many goblins to his team by declaring that he would only play goblin linemen, to prove to the rest of the World just how good goblins could be.

As part of their series "'Ard Knocks", KO! Magazine have sent a reporter to follow Der Green Tide, and his reports have quickly made the team famous, if not exactly feared.

In an exclusive interview with the Grotty Little Newspaper the Great Gobbo reveals how the Tide were formed.

Ello, Great Gobbo ere. I az bin asked ter rite an article fer der Grotty Likkle Newspapa so I fort I wud give yew der offishul istory o der Green Tide. Everyfin yew iz about ter reed iz der truff, der ole truff an nuffin but der truff, except fer der bitz I mek up or lie about fer legal reesunz.

Der story of der tide beginz wiv me. I wuz just a normal gobbo, livin in Lustria were I wuz employed by a kumpany kalled Playboi ter mek sum tasteful paintinz o dese Amazonian chikkz wiv no kloves on. Wun day me an me paintin bush were spotted by der gurlz an so I ad ter leg it. I eventually lost em an meself in der process, owevva I ad ended up next ter a swamp. Fer sum reezun all I gud fink about were kokkonutz so I started lookin round fer sum. It wuz den dat I saw diz weird lookin toad, ee wuz red an wite stripey wiv a blu ead. Bakk in der Marshes O Madnezz funny koloured toadz iz fun ter likk so I got out me net an nabbed im. I gave im a gud lik den sat down an waited. I musta fell sleepy az next fing I no Gork an Mork iz talkin ter me! Dey tell me dat der gobbo race iz a laffin stokk ter der ovva racez an dat I needz ter go an restor our onour. Ter do diz dey teech me evveryfin dere iz ter no bout Blud Bowl an give me a certificate dat sez I am a Blud Bowl koachin geenyus. Finully dey tell me dat I kan only use gobo linemen so dat evverywun kan see ow gud we reelly iz. Wen I wek up I av bin majikally transported ter der Badlands an I set off on me misshun ter rule der Blud Bowl world!

Az I wuz walkin besidez der Marsh O Gallylee I saw too gobbos, Dag Gobguzzla an Snik Stranglegut. Dey were kastin a net inter der marsh, fer dey were fishamen.

"Oi yew, folla me" I sed, "an I will mek yer fisherz o gobbos"

"Zog off" sed wun

"Wot yew jibba jabberin bout yew krazy fool?" sed der ovva, "fisherz o gobbos? Wot doez dat even meen?"

"Nah, dunt be like dat" I sez, "kum an play Blud Bowl fer me"

DG: "No"

GG: "Aww go on...."

SS: "No"

GG: "Dere will be money, fame, grog an cheerleederz!"

DG: "Ow much money?"

GG: "Enuf fer all, now folla me!"

SS: "Look mate, I ent signin nuffin till me lawya az a look at dis kontrakt..."

DG: "Wotz dis meen, 'powwa o atturnee'?"

GG: "Ladz, ladz! Were iz der luv fer yer fella gobo?"



SS: "So wot doez yer meen?"

GG: "I meenz trust me, I az bin sent by Gork an Mork ter form an all gobo linemen Blud Bowl teem ter prove ter der world ow great gobbos kan be!"

DG: "Y didn't yer say so! K'mon Snik letz leeve evryfin behind an folla diz stranga"

GG: "Datz moar like it"

DG: "I wuz bein sarkastik! Look jus zog off yer weirdo before we urtz yer!"

So I wandered off alone worryin dat no wun wud play fer me until I kame across a massif kave. Sittin outside woz a big, red, sad lookin squig. I kud see strait away dat dere wuz a big forn stikkin in er paw an dat it woz urtin er. I went kloser an she growled at me, but der pain wuz so much it woz moar o a wimper. I slowly reached out, held der forn an den yanked it out az fast az I kud. Der squig yelped an jumped up den realized dat er paw didn't urt anymoar! She woz very gratefull an gave me a big likk. Az I went ter walk away she started ter folla me, an diz gave me an ideer. I retraced me stepz bakk ter der marsh where doez gitz woz still fishin an spoke:

GG: "Rite den yew too, yer kan eivver folla me rite now an go fishin fer gobbos or wotevva I sed, or yer getz et by diz squig oo I am kallin Nigel. Yew az free sekkundz ter deside! WUN!"

DG: "Letz kill diz fool"

GG: "TWO!"

Nigel grinned showin a mouff full o razer sharp fangz

SS: "So den boss, wen we off?!"

DG: "Yeah, we will folla yer an wotevva, jus don't let er eet uz!"

SS: "Wot iz yer name"

GG: "My name is der Great Gobbo, but yew kan kall me koach!"

We set off ter der Badlands Community Staydeeum after earin dat dere wuz a big game bein played der between der Chaos All Stars an der Underworld Creepers. Unfortunatly dew ter a navigatinal error we arrived late an ad missed der game, so ter keep everywun appy I took em ter der nearest tavern I kud find, wich woz der Bridge. After getting our grog I noticed a group o gobbos sat rownd a table lookin miserable, until I realised dey were Dirty Dan frum der All Starz an Garbage Throttlesnot, Slasher Bowelgrim, Fester Rustblade, Wildman Teethgarland and Ace Fireblade o der Creeperz. I ad ter go ovva an talk ter em.

GG: "Ey ladz, wotz der matta"

DD: "Oh nuffin, itz just dat playin wivout Morg ent der same. No wun chukkz me der ball"

GT: "Itz even wurse in der Creeperz mate, doez ratfaced gitz wont give uz der ball at all!"

SB: "Yeh, an dey iz so zoggin fast dat dey always getz it furst"

AF: "All we end up iz iz kannon fodda for der durty mouses"

WT: "An dey et me alf time cheese samwich"

GG: "Well den diz iz yer lucky day!"

I jumped up onter der table an yelled fer qwiet. I dodged der nife frown at me an set Nige on der culprit. Der tavern suddenly got very qwiet az Nige gulped down der final leg.



GG: "Nige.......fankz. Az I wuz sayin, my name iz der Great Gobbo an I az bin sent ear by Gork an Mork ter start a gobo linemen only teem ter show der rest o der world jus ow gud we really iz. No moar spendin all game waitin fer sum marauder ter decide ter frow yew der ball, no moar bein punchbagz fer durty skaven, NO MOAR MR NICE GOBBOZ!"

A huge cheer goes up

GG: (pointing at the pro players) "Yew iz jus der sort I wuz lookin fer, yer hired! Welkum ter der teem. We iz kalled.......Der Green Tide!"

FR: "ent gonna be inna Tide"

GG: "Legend in der mekkin if evva I saw it"

"OI!" sed wun o der lokalz, "yew karnt put dem in der teem!"

GG: "Oh yeh Mr?......"

Gnash Doomspida: "Gnash Doomspida"

GG: "OK den Mr Doomspida, y karnt dey be in der teem?"

All the pro players listened intently. Doomspida realized dat ee woz der center o attenshun an esitated.

GD: "Well.....dey ent frum rownd ear"

GG: "Hmm, gud point. Rite den we need sum keen local ladz, yew"

"Me?" sed an unwary gobo

GG: "Yer yew! An ill tek yew too an yew five. Eight lokalz yeh? Karnt complain bout dat!"

FR: "Ent gunna be inna Tide"

GG: "Yew pros karnt leave now, ovvawise der iz too many lokalz. Dats numbaz dat iz!"

"Im not joinin any teem" sed a local

GG: "Not man enuf, eh?"

"Wot?! Im az gud az any bluddy forener any day!"

GG: "Rite, datz sorted den"

FR: "Ent gunna-"


FR: "I iz gunna play fer der Tide! I iz, I iz!!"

An dat iz ow Der Green Tide wuz formed. Possibly. Jus rememba wun fing:


Our furst evva win!!

Our badgez we az kollekted:

Fingz we az killed:

Smash 'fingers an' thumbs
Jay-z II
Ja Rule
Tristan Hideousstone
Duane Strongfield
Aaron Silentshield
Paul Hotrock
Harold Blueshield
Samdulac "Le sorteur fou"
Eol IV
Sean Fastwing
Osmond Hotwing
Sid Rond
Jael Baete
Bone Grinder
Hydra III
Yorick Vilehammer
Profi 2
Haneah Koronilean
Keussinan Hirashima
Danny Amendola
Montel Jr.
Vincent Hideousstream
Stillwaters Rundeep
Dadatn Diveshot IV
The Drunk Brother
The Iron Hamster
Treasurer Kyle
Poison-Alice Cooper II
Robert Dirtyrock
Peter Parker XXII
Zan Zenling
Nelvillil Ashbleeder

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# Name Position Ma St Ag Av Skills Inj G Cp Td It Cs vp Sp Cost  
1Dinky RatfaceGoblin6338Dodge, Right Stuff, Stunty, +ST, Jump Up, Side Step, +AVn440401245640k (40+120k) 
2Gribble KneebittaGoblin7237Dodge, Right Stuff, Stunty, Side Step, +MA, Catch, Sure Feet 664110346340k (40+90k) 
3Funkk RedeyeGoblin6237Dodge, Right Stuff, Stunty, Side Step, Diving Tackle, Jump Up 32100543140k (40+60k) 
4Agga YellaeyeGoblin6237Dodge, Right Stuff, Stunty, Side Step, Diving Tackle 15110121640k (40+40k) 
5Ogga SnotbubbleGoblin6237Dodge, Right Stuff, Stunty, Dirty Player 35020111340k (40+30k) 
6Fungus TreefaceGoblin6237Dodge, Right Stuff, Stunty, Side Step 2300011740k (40+20k) 
7Gunk ToejamGoblin6237Dodge, Right Stuff, Stunty 2100000040k (40+0k) 
8Wozzit ZitfaceGoblin6237Dodge, Right Stuff, Stunty, Side Step, Diving Tackle 26300232240k (40+40k) 
9Snikk SnakkGoblin6237Dodge, Right Stuff, Stunty 400000040k (40+0k) 
10Kikk SabbinGoblin6237Dodge, Right Stuff, Stunty, Side Step 900011740k (40+20k) 
11Fingus WurmpantsGoblin6237Dodge, Right Stuff, Stunty 200000040k (40+0k) 
12 Airy BigfootGoblin6247Dodge, Right Stuff, Stunty, +AG, Catch, Safe Throw, Accurate, Hail Mary Pass, Sprintn95129205718040k (40+170k) 
13Mental HermanGoblin6237Dodge, Right Stuff, Stunty, Dirty Player, Sneaky Git 45000131740k (40+50k) 
14Pewky BadgutzGoblin6237Dodge, Right Stuff, Stunty 400001540k (40+0k) 
15Ronka TonkaGoblin6237Dodge, Right Stuff, Stunty, Side Step 15010021340k (40+20k) 
16Grizzle CrotchbiterGoblin6237Dodge, Right Stuff, Stunty 400000040k (40+0k) 
16 players  
Coach: The_Great_Gobbo Re-Rolls (120k): 6  
Race: Goblin Fan Factor: 5  
Team Value: 1840k Assistant Coaches: 4  
Treasury: 160000 Cheerleaders: 4  
Tournament Weight: 1840k Apothecary: Yes  

Games Played:482 (24/28/430) |TD Diff:-1252 (348 - 1600) |Cas Diff:-1531 (371/178/70 - 1531/421/198)
Last Opponent: Elfthroposophy