<b><i>"Get back, yer b@st&rd, I'll break yer legs"</b></i>

Supposed ‘hard man’ with a hinted-at history of military service, Max is the older, apparently sensible half of The Phoenix’s door staff.

Initially only taken on to work Talent Trek ’92 at the old Neptune club, he now spends his days buying questionable products from TV Channel Armchair Super Store, and his evenings eating chips and passing on words of wisdom to his sex-mad younger colleague, Paddy.

<b><i>"Not only have I seen the film 'Cocktail' 6 times, I also was once an Inn Keeper."
"Where was that?"
"In St. Peter and Paul's ground breaking production of the nativity".</i></b>

Spencer is one of the bar staff at the club. A likable, but naive young man, he returns to the club following a disastrous spell as the club's DJ. Despite not impressing at the interview, he is swiftly employed by Jerry St.Clair after revealing that his wages will be paid by the DSS.

Alan is the other half of Les Alanos, the resident Organ player. Quieter than Les, he is somewhat the "sidekick" of the duo, mixing his musical work with a job as a lorry driver for haulage company Sweet Truck Haul.

Owner of The Banana Grove and Brian’s long-time nemesis, there’s nothing Den Perry would like more than to drive The Phoenix out of business, and goes out of his way to cause mischief.

<b><i>"A pound for 2 questions, bit expensive isn't it?"
"Yes it is love, and your second question?"</i></b>

Holy Mary is a cleaner and member of the bar staff. A devout Catholic, her kindly, hardworking nature makes her a popular addition to the club. Her daughter also named Mary, a part-time worker at the club, is dating ladies-man club bouncer "Paddy", something Holy Mary is not too happy about, although she keeps a brave face about it. She has an unseen son, Joseph, who is studying Woodwork.

<i><b>"I don't need a suit, I've got special skin. Asbestos you see, doctors are baffled."</b></i>

Kenny Senior, (not to be confused with the footballer Kenny Dalglish) is Bolton's biggest liar. Most of his statements are either vastly exaggerated or complete lies. According to him, amongst other things he has played swingball in Pwllheli with Robert DeNiro, slept with Bonnie Langford, appeared on centre court at Wimbledon despite being unseeded, and got Jackie Chan a price for some paint.

<b><i>"Number 26, the answer was… he died in a plane crash."
"Yes! Get in there!"</b></i>

Young Kenny, so called because of an older Kenny at the club, is a quiet chap who never seems to really like getting into the thick of things. He is a handyman at the club and can put his hand to most things but isn't the sharpest tool in the box.

Marion replaced Joyce as Mary's cleaning partner at the Phoenix and as hard as it may seem, made Mary look bright! Marion and Mary make a great team as they are both as dense as each other and get excited by the least little thing. Even though they aren't the brightest pair the Phoenix has ever seen, they do lighten the mood.

Dodgy Eric sells a bucking bronco to Brian Potter as a replacement for a faulty pool table. Later, Eric brings Brian an inflatable bouncy castle, which appears to be shaped like an erect penis when inflated, but is disguised as a snake by Eric.