What Quinoa lacks in swiftness he makes up for in being a truly next level protein source. And for being the only one of our number who has played every game. True that means he's scoring an average of 0.6 SPP per game but many skilled linos have come and gone during the team's life and Steve is still standing in the places no-one else wants to be, waiting to get hit. He's hoping his second skill will come before the sword of Damocles plummets...

But he doesn't like to talk about it. Except at breakfast, lunch and dinner. And elevenses. Kind of hard to get rid of then. But thanks to the excellent conflict resolution techniques they worked out in a tipi commune in North Wales, so far no-one on the team has punched him in the face or said something that hurt his feelings a bit. There's plenty of orcs and dwarves and ogres and things that can do that kind of thing for them (although they're not so good at the wordplay- OOOGGrraaoorrr! being intimidating but not particularly incisive).

Alpaca Farmer is very proud of the fact that the team's jerseys are knitted from the wool of the alpacas from his farm. Its true that chain mail might me more useful but he points out that alpacas carbon footprint and ecological impact is lower than any other source of wool on the planet so its worth the odd lost team mate to avoid polluting the teams karma.

Steve is the bloke who drives the van. He's the one who fixes and empties the compost loos at the fortnightly 'envisionary devotion circles' in a field outside Glastonbury. He's so useful that people haven't really noticed until recently that he has psychopathic tendencies, well to call them tendencies is like saying that Dwarves are 'a bit on the small side'. None of the meditation or yoga seems to curb the fact that when placed on the field he immediately launches himself repeatedly at the nearest jugular and bites as hard as he can. It makes Highly Evolved's players quite uncomfortable to be in a position now where they are utterly reliant on this skill to not just win but survive at all. They're more ok with him carrying on cleaning the toilets.