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mushoomy



Joined: Oct 18, 2013

Post   Posted: Sep 27, 2020 - 08:01 Reply with quote Back to top

Image

===
Week 6

Strawberry: Welcome everyone to a very special edition of the SWL Fantasy league!
Chocolate: And by special, you mean it's hosted by me!
Strawberry: That's right, Chocolate. We're one week out from the grand finale, so we figured we'd rip into this season's top 10 duds! But first, here's this week's leaderboard.
Chocolate: I thought I was the host?!
Strawberry: Yes... but consistency???
Chocolate: Sod the leaderboard! Let's have suspense before the grand finale!

===

===
LEADER-BORED
1:(+0) Foad - XXXspp in XX games
2:(+0) HaruHaru - XXXspp in XX games
3:(+0) Tussock - XXspp in XX games
4:(+1) Semitence - XXspp in XX games
5:(-1) Mushoomy - XXspp in XX games
6:(+0) Sharper - XXspp in XX games
7:(+1) MiyusoBot - XXspp in XX games
8:(-1) Ramchop - XXspp in XX games
9:(+0) Klazam - XXspp in XX games

Chocolate: Ta-da!
Strawberry: I guess this does the trick...
Chocolate: Foad keeps his spot in first place, but how far behind is HaruHaru? Meanwhile, MiyusoBot has taken Ramchop's short lived lead, in what is being described by many as the most intense rivalry in the Fantasy league yet!
Strawberry: I'm sorry, Chocolate. But HaruHaru has a triple X like Foad. Does that mean he's broken into triple digits?
Chocolate: It sure does! But we won't know for sure until next week!
Strawberry: ... alright yup. That's definitely how it works.
Chocolate: It's how it works when I'm host!
Strawberry: Onto team of the week?
===

===
Team of the Week:

Chocolate: No time or place for team of the week this week, Strawberry.
Strawberry: And why the hell not?
Chocolate: Spoilers! It'll reveal too much about the final results.
Strawberry: The team of the week is Foad isn't it?

CRASH!!! BANG!!!
===

===
TOP 10 DUDS OF THE SEASON:

Chocolate: Alright! With Strawberry knocked out, we can get into the real segment! Chocolate has taken over! Let's start at number ten...
===

===
NUMBER 10:
Image Rudy (Federated Fowlers) - 110k - 3spp in 6 games - 220 cost/spp per game

Strawberry: Uhhhhh... what happened? Have we started yet?
Chocolate: Yup! We just wrapped up talking about the team and player of the week. Onto the top 10 duds now.
Strawberry: And Rudy is number 10?
Chocolate: Pick numero uno!
Strawberry: ...So Rudy is number 10?
Chocolate: *sigh* ... yes Strawbery, Rudy, Foad's choice of OWA Catcher is number 10. Scoring 1 touchdown all season (so far), Foad won't be happy with this dud!
Strawberry: ...Is Rudy number 10?
Chocolate: ... Onto number 9!
===

===
NUMBER 9:
Image Darren Lockyer (Aspley Boncos) - 150k - 2spp in 3 games - 225 cost/spp per game

Chocolate: Darren Lockyer is our number 9. An unfortunate last minute pick by Klazam.
Strawberry: Sorry, feeling really dizzy. Only 3 games?
Chocolate: That's correct Strawberry! After getting a casualty in Round 2, Darren Lockyer has been missing every second game! Seems like he thought 2spp was enough to collect this season's check. Next!
===

===
NUMBER 8:
Image Cracker (Pugs Not Drugs) - 130k - 2spp in 5 games - 260 cost/spp per game

Chocolate: Our very own, Cracker is our number 8! Life hasn't been the same since he had his skull cracked.
Strawberry: Poor Ramchop
Chocolate: Indeed! Especially since Mushoomy's other wight, Chip, has gotten 20spp so far this season! Cracker was definitely the wrong choice.
===

===
NUMBER 7:
Image Pooroogooroo (Didgeridead) - 110k - 2spp in 5 games - 275 cost/spp per game

Chocolate: Another bad choice from Ramchop, Pooroogooroo is another 1 casualty wonder!
Strawberry: No wonder Ramchop has been battling MiyusoBot all season.
Chocolate: No wonder... No wonder... Next!
===

===
NUMBER 6:
Image Muffin (Bloody Sphynxes) - 170k - 4spp in 7 games - 297.5 cost/spp per game

Chocolate: Block... Claw... Mighty Blow.... but only 2 casualties! Muffin disappointed 2 fantasy coaches this season.
Strawberry: Being MiyusoBot and Klazam.
Chocolate: I was going to say that.
Strawberry: Just because you're the host for once, it doesn't mean you can say everything.
Chocolate: Whatever. The fantasy league is tough at the bottom end of the table. Life is harder for Muffin... and Strawberry it seems.
===

===
NUMBER 5:
Image Comghan Sycamoreolive (Nottingham Arrows) - 160k - 2spp in 4 games - 320 cost/spp per game

Chocolate: Up next is the first ever rip-off of the week, Comghan Sycamoreolive, chosen by Sharper
Strawberry: After being shown u-
Chocolate: Look, you're most likely going to be doing all the talking in the awards ceremony. Can you at least let me run this segment that you gave to me after you infected me with fleas!
Strawberry: Now you know what it's like hosting the show with you as a cohost.
Chocolate: Don't make me knock you out again...
Strawberry: YOU WHAT?!!
===

===
NUMBER 4:
Image Nightmare (Mutated Antagonists) - 130k - 2spp in 6 games - 390 cost/spp per game

Chocolate: Nightmare has been a nightmare for HaruHaru. Only 2spp's in 6 -
Strawberry: Look Chocolate, they can read that. You knocked me out???
Chocolate: Yeah, did you want me to do more than that?
Strawberry: If your SWL career is anything to go by, you can't get more than 3 casualties in a game.
Chocolate: I haven't even gotten one this episode!
Strawberry: Leaderboard... Team of the Week... Player of the Week... 3!!! Anyway, Nightmare shouldn't count. He's got the 50k big guy discount.
Chocolate: It's still 50k not well spent. Onto the top 3 choice casualties!
===

===
NUMBER 3:
Image Gorden Tallis (Aspley Boncos) - 140k - 2spp in 6 games - 420 cost/spp per game

Strawberry: Again with the big guy discount!
Chocolate: Again with the big mouth - shut up! Gorden Tallis is a well deserved 3rd place dud, chosen by Sharper. You'd expect a block snow troll to do more.
Strawberry: One would expect you to do more with a whole episode to yourself! No one's going to remember this one.
Chocolate: You're not going to remember it either if I knock you out again.
Strawberry: Always if. Never will. Admit it. You like me to much to ever do such a thi-

CRASH!!! BANG!!!
===

===
NUMBER 2:
Image Fast Az Finn (Flack Ork Flockers) - 150k - 2spp in 6 games - 450 cost/spp per game

Strawberry: See! You couldn't even do it!
Chocolate: I'd like to see you try, mister 3 casualty career.

CRASH!!! BANG!!!

Chocolate: Like Fast Az Finn's performance for Mushoomy's fantasy team, pathetic.
Strawberry: At least you do good segways...
Chocolate: HA! I WIN!!!
Strawberry: No you dont, because this special feature is flawed! There are plenty of players who haven't scored a single SPP. Some of whom are more expensive than your number one dud! Face it Chocolate. I am better at this then you.
===

===
Honourable Mentions:

Chocolate: An honourable mentions section then!
Strawberry: Some would call these the actual duds of the fantasy league.
Chocolate: Some being you. Here are all of the players who haven't scored a single SPP this season so far...

Image Achomkim (Concussion Protocol) - 20k - (Ramchop)
Image Caolan Redcedar (Redgum's Repugnance) - 40k - (MiyusoBot)
Image Dinglebat III (Trondheim Hammers) - 50k - (Foad)
Image Mutiny Morton (Salute οf the Jugger) - 50k - (Klazam)
Image Bowser (Mutated Antagonists) - 60k - (Sharper)
Image Arthas Menethil (Legends of Azeroth) - 70k - (Tussock, MiyusoBot)
Image Robert Terwillicker (Federated Fowlers) - 70k - (MiyusoBot)
Image Eve, the Vampire Slayer (Blackwater Cockfighters) - 90k (Sharper)
Image Yasmirullah (Didgeridead) - 100k - (Tussock)
Image Turbo Angry Dog III (Trondheim Hammers) - 110k - (Semitence)
Image Herb and Cheese (Bun Dead) - 120k - (Tussock)

Strawberry: That means only Mushoomy and HaruHaru's fantasy teams are the only one's that all players contributed spp to! Must mean the race between Foad and HaruHaru is quite close then?
Chocolate: Might be! You'll find that out next week though. But first, this season's ultimate dud.
Strawberry: That isn't any of the players above...
===

===
NUMBER 1:
Image Cyan Bloodbane (Druchii Dynasty) - 100k - 1spp in 6 games - 600 cost/spp per game

Chocolate: And just like that, Cyan Bloodbane is our dud of the season! 6 games, 1 spp, 100k in cost. Really doesn't seem like a worthy investment now, does it Sharper or Klazam?
Strawberry: 1 spp is better than no spp. Why can't you see that?
Chocolate: I can see that Strawberry. I just refuse to admit that you're right.
Strawberry: Regardless, you're the host this episode. Congratulations to Cyan Bloodbane... or... not...
===

Closing Words:

Strawberry: Alright. Did you have fun, Chocolate?
Chocolate: Surely I can do it again next season?
Strawberry: Depends on how the ratings do. Do you guys like a bit of suspense before the final week? Or do you really not care?
Chocolate: I'm sure people do.
Strawberry: Right... See you all next week, for the grand finale.
Chocolate: And unlike every other week, the full standings are not available down below.
Strawberry: Pssst... they are. If you want to spoil yourself, the full standings are down below.

Link to full standings
MrCushtie



Joined: Aug 10, 2018

Post   Posted: Sep 30, 2020 - 05:57 Reply with quote Back to top

SWL DEATH WATCH SEASON LXXXIII WEEK SIX

Welcome back, for the penultimate week's death report! We've had the goblins from the Norscan Peninsula University Accounting Department working double time, adding up all the deaths and injuries since the new era of Blood Bowl, just to tell you who's the most violent player of all."
"We have?"
"We certainly have, Bob. They've been working so hard we haven't heard a word from them all week. They've been sat, cooped up in the pantry, which is the only space we had for them, busily counting away and -"
"In the pantry?"
"Yes, in the pantry. Next to the kitchen. Why do you ask?"
"Well, I thought they were snacks, Jim..."
"You ate the Norscan Peninsula University Accounting Department?@
"Well, not all of them. I was saving some as a snack."
"What are you, a troll now, Bob?"
"Hey - us big guys resent being lumped together like that. And we all get hungry some times."
"Never mind your stomach, Bob. Let's just make do and get on with the deaths, but without any accountancy goblins, where will be all the stats we know and love?"


Image Pete II, not quick enough to escape MacFast. Norse Ulfwerener, 0 SPP.
"A blast from MacFast and his career is past, eh Jim?"
"I actually think you eating goblins was better than you writing poetry."



Image Brian, the Vampire Prince, won't be getting resurrected after a block by Crazy Crace. Norse Lineman, 16 SPP.
"Well! Honestly, if you go prancing around impersonating nobility like that -"
"Do you mean calling himself a vampire, or the chainmail budgie smuggler he was wearing?"
"-uh -"



Image Stone Cold, living up to his name after a hit by Bruiser. Chaos Beastman, 38 SPP.
"He's living up to his name? But he's dead."
"It's difficult, isn't it, Bob?"
"So you're saying Stone Cold isn't really dead? That's great, he was my favourite beastman!"
"Sorry, he is dead."
"Oh."


Image Troll, slain by Fred Woodman. Human Lineman, 0 SPP.
"Hang on. A troll, or a human? Which is it?"
"I think they're just trying to confuse us on purpose, Bob. I didn't think there could be a joke name stupider than 'Fred Woodman' and then Troll appears."
"To be fair, he's disappeared now."


Image Pizza Scroll, had his crust stuffed by Cronus. Undead Ghoul, 4 SPP.
"Ah, delicious undead pizza. They were scraping him off the pitch like a burnt pizza topping."
"On the bright side, at least he wasn't Pineapple..."


Image François Volente, elf-on-elfed by Mornelithe Falconsbane. Wood Elf Lineman, 7 SPP.
"One more for the wood chipper, eh?"
"On the one hand, I do enjoy seeing those greased up elves beating each other off ... the pitch. But it is just a bit too much."
"I think what you mean is an ST5, AG5 blitzer is a bit too much..."
"There's always time for a Stu Wilsoning, Bob."


Image Witzie, didn't have such a nice time with by Nice-as-Nasty. Khemri Skeleton, 0 SPP.

Image War-failin Tonix, defizzed by the big boots of Tebec. Skaven Lineman, 9 SPP.

Image Grarp the Lamuellan Baker, sent back to his bakery by Maruvie Tiberus. Skaven Lineman, 0 SPP.
"Didn't he die just last week?"
"Hmm. Something is amiss here. I suspect some of the coaches are trying to cheat their way to the Squashed Freddo by sending in imposters with the same name, and then paying the apo to kill them."
"That's Blood Bowl for you Jim. Desperate strokes to get the biggest prize in the business."
"Speaking of the biggest prizes in the business, apart from that Norseman, there's not been many skilled players removed this week."
"Well, you say that, but how about:"


Image Maruvie Tiberus, took a very hard hit from the boots of Aaron Hardhammer. Elf Blitzer, 8 SPP.
"Lovely revenge foul there by the journeymouse, Hardhammer. I expect he was jumping up and down on Tiberus's head, acting like it was a job interview for the Bandits."
"Bandit? No, they should never ban fouling, Jim!"


Image Genor Ziva, blocked by Benjy the Mouse. Elf Lineman, 0 SPP.
"Genor, shown the door."
"To be fair, he showed he had guts, going up against Benjy."
"Yes, he showed he had guts. And a spleen. And both of his kidneys. And a bladder. And ..."


Image Olympe Maxime, given an inappropriate feeling by Uncleshape Sleazyhands. Human Lineman, 11 SPP.
"Well, I'd have to say that Uncleshape might be one to watch. As Manshape's protege, he's already learned how to block. Could this finally be a successor to Ladyshape in the Scoundrels' hall of fame?"
"As long as they keep him away from Shandyhands, what could possibly go wrong, Bob?"


Image Little Miss Legneck Won't Stop Bouncing, certainly has stopped bouncing after a foul by Ludo Bagman. Goblin Pogoer, 28 SPP.
"Now that serves those goblins right for chortling too much."
"I heard them complimenting the 'Doom on a proper gang foul."
"Such lovely sports, the Scoundrels."
"Well, they call it a compliment. Looked more like itching powder in everyone's jockstraps."


Double Trouble
Image Cullan Hemlockwing, turned into so much chipboard by Aggro' Hardnukkle. Wood Elf Catcher, 27 SPP.

Image Ian Grottyhawk, a hawk who ended with a squawk after meeting Aggro' Hardnukkle. Wood Elf Lineman, 0 SPP.
"A lovely way to end the week. Well, not for those two wood elves. But two wood elves ending is usually a lovely way to end something, right?"
"Are you keeping your end up, Bob?"


It's a short Death Watch this week as we're busy preparing for the big end of season finale. Coach Happy Amateur has been polishing the plates, the remaining goblins are counting all the deaths and injuries to figure out who deserves the prizes, and we'll all be back this time next week for the awards that everyone cares about. We'll leave you with the damage from the Curse this week, and the customary parade of injured bodies:

Image Big T., 2 kills. Groin Strain
Image Chris Jubba, 1 kill. Smashed Ankle
Image Niabatteroo, 1 kill. Smashed Hand
Image War-failin Tonix, 1 kill. Dead
Image Maruvie Tiberus, 1 kill. Dead
Image Little Miss Legneck Won't Stop Bouncing, 1 kill.Dead
Image Xenopus Laevis IIIIII, 1 kill. Fractured Skull
Image Savage Truth, 1 kill. Gouged Eye

Image Image Image Image Image Image Image Image Image Image Image Image Image Image Image Image Image Image Image Image Image Image Image Image Image Image Image Image Image Image Image Image Image Image Image Image Image Image Image Image Image Image Image Image Image Image Image Image Image

_________________
Image
mushoomy



Joined: Oct 18, 2013

Post   Posted: Oct 06, 2020 - 02:51 Reply with quote Back to top

Image

===
THE GRAND FINALE

Strawberry: Welcome everyone to the grand finale of the SWL Fantasy League Season 83! After a 7 season hiatus, the fantasy league reboot was an exciting one, filled with intense rivalries between coaches, and in one case, a bot.
Chocolate: Maybe Ramchop would be better off picking his choices randomly next season. Far less stress free.
Strawberry: Yes... before broadcasting, he had requested to Mushoomy that we cancel the show! He must know what's coming...
Chocolate: SHAAAAAAAAAAAME!!! SHAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAME!!!
Strawberry: Indeed Chocolate. A quick teaser for what's to come. Before jumping into the final
===

===
PLAYERS OF THE SEASON
Image Felix (Federated Fowlers) - 28spp in 7 games - (Tussock)
Image Torgan Silvermead (Blue Mountain Giants) - 28spp in 7 games - (Semitence)

Strawberry: Congratulations to Tussock and Semitence for picking this season's top performers, Felix and Torgan Silvermead!
Chocolate: Two touchdown hogs. Seems to be the way to go. Pity you weren't playing this season, Strawberry.
Strawberry: I let you score your fair share! Besides, not my fault Mushoomy didn't train anyone else. Seems to have learned that lesson though.
Chocolate: Jeepers! Torgan Silvermead is one expensive player! 220k... Semitence got his money's worth. What's this season's best deal?
Strawberry: Glad you asked Chocolate. Glad you asked Chocolate.
===

===
DEAL OF THE SEASON
Image Aeneas (Styx αnd Warpstones) - 24spp in 7 games - 23.3 cost/spp per game

Strawberry: Congratulations to... basically the whole fantasy league for finding this season's best deal, Aeneas!
Chocolate: Who didn't choose Aneas?! He was in good hands with JPM at the helm!
Strawberry: The only coaches to not choose Aneus were MiyusoBot, Ramchop and Klazam.
Chocolate: Ok. MiyusoBot I can understand - Random picks. Klazam I can understand - Late entry... but Ramchop??? SHAAAAAAAAAAAAAAME
Strawberry: Guess Ramchop isn't a fan of Anus. Onto the next player award!
===

===
STUNTY OF THE SEASON
Image Bind Soul (Blood Crag Strips) - 20spp in 6 games - (Foad)

Strawberry: Although we can't encourage coaches to choose a stunty player with a discount, we can certainly acknowledge the best pick. Congra-
Chocolate: Do skinks really count though? Sure, Bind Soul is great, and he's stunty, but really?
Strawberry: Well they fit the criteria. Congratulations Foad for picking this season's best stunty! If this was a tabletop tournament, Foad would be stunty king.
Chocolate: Is he the Fantasy king though?
Strawberry: Let's find out shall we! Let's kick of the final standings starting from the bottom.
===

===
HOPE YOU HAVE A USE FOR A WOODEN SPOON IN YOUR FANTASIES

Klazam
Image Jon the Silastic Armorfiend (Brockian Brown Bandits) - 6spp in 6 games
Image Khugthauc (More Food for Thawt) - 9spp in 7 games
Image Muffin (Bloody Sphynxes) - 4spp in 7 games
Image Darren Lockyer (Aspley Boncos) - 5spp in 4 games
Image Lemon (Pugs Not Drugs) - 3spp in 7 games
Image Cyan Bloodbane (Druchii Dynasty) - 3spp in 7 games
Image Amazonia (Kingdom Decay (SWL)) - 6spp in 7 games
Image Herbad Ith (Cult of the Firedrake) - 10spp in 7 games
Image Mutiny Morton (Salute οf the Jugger) - 0spp in 6 games
Image Burst Inner Tube Watson (Singed Poor Scoundrels) - 2spp in 6 games
Image Kutanshy (Concussion Protocol) - 3spp in 7 games
Total:51spp in 71 games

Strawberry: It's always tough for late entrants and Klazam certainly faced a lot of pain being one this season.
Chocolate: KUTANSHY GOT A TOUCHDOWN??? After all my trash talking.... that's embarrassing.
Strawberry: Hahaha, yes it is, Chocolate. Herbad Ith was this team's top performer this season. Sadly, that top performance only contributed 10spp towards Klazam's sad 51.
Chocolate: At least he passed 50.
Strawberry: At least he passed 50...
===

===
NOT LAST, BUT STILL SHAMED

Ramchop
Image Salty Dog Seldon (Salute οf the Jugger) - 12spp in 6 games
Image Jon the Silastic Armorfiend (Brockian Brown Bandits) - 6spp in 6 games
Image Cracker (Pugs Not Drugs) - 4spp in 6 games
Image Gangrene Greg (Redgum's Repugnance) - 17spp in 7 games
Image MacHandle (MacHumburgers) - 6spp in 6 games
Image Pooroogooroo (Didgeridead) - 2spp in 7 games
Image Daniel (Trondheim Hammers) - 4spp in 7 games
Image Weak (Crazy Beard Express) - 11spp in 6 games
Image Mephisto (Mutated Antagonists) - 6spp in 7 games
Image Snickers (Cold Rock) - 3spp in 7 games
Image Achomkim (Concussion Protocol) - 0spp in 7 games
Total:71spp in 72 games

Strawberry: Ah Ramchop. You got so close to passing MiyusoBot in round 5. Sadly, you failed.
Chocolate: SHAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAME!!!
Strawberry: Top performer for this team was previous rip-off of the week, Salty Dog Seldon, who contributed 12 spp.
Chocolate: Unfortunately, it was not enough to push Ramchop's team past 1spp per game.
Strawberry: And was not enough to push him past MiyusoBot
Chocolate: SHAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAME!!!
Strawberry: SHAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAME!!!
===

===
DID A LOT BETTER THAN EXPECTED

MiyusoBot
Image Tindra Voidrunner (Druchii Dynasty) - 13spp in 7 games
Image Caolan Redcedar (Redgum's Repugnance) - 0spp in 4 games
Image Iron Otto (Covid 6) - 2spp in 4 games
Image Stampede (Crazy Beard Express) - 18spp in 7 games
Image Sorrow (Kingdom Decay (SWL)) - 2spp in 6 games
Image Robert Terwillicker (Federated Fowlers) - 1spp in 7 games
Image Sturm Battlehand (Blue Mountain Giants) - 5spp in 7 games
Image Muffin (Bloody Sphynxes) - 4spp in 7 games
Image Raklah (Bronzed Raiders) - 2spp in 5 games
Image Djizzax The Wretched (More Food for Thawt) - 13spp in 7 games
Image Squee Lassrate (Vermintidе) - 2spp in 2 games
Image Anduin Wrynn (Legends of Azeroth) - 15spp in 7 games
Image Thor Jr the Flaybooz (Brockian Brown Bandits) - 4spp in 6 games
Total:81spp in 76 games

Strawberry: The completely randomised team, MiyusoBot, did surprisingly well this season. Beating 2 other teams and passing 1spp per game.
Chocolate: Certainly a pleasant surprise and it was very entertaining following this team's progress.
Strawberry: Change of heart then Chocolate?
Chocolate: Change of heart indeed.
Strawberry: A few cool players in this team, but the best of them all was Stampede, contributing a large 18spp toward this chaotic team.
===

===
ESCAPED UTTER HUMILIATION

Sharper
Image Comghan Sycamoreolive (Nottingham Arrows) - 2spp in 4 games
Image Gorden Tallis (Aspley Boncos) - 2spp in 7 games
Image MacHandle (MacHumburgers) - 6spp in 6 games
Image Lemon (Pugs Not Drugs) - 3spp in 7 games
Image Giles (Federated Fowlers) - 14spp in 7 games
Image Faeclol The Swift (Hаrlequins) - 16spp in 7 games
Image Cyan Bloodbane (Druchii Dynasty) - 3spp in 7 games
Image Eve, the Vampire Slayer (Blackwater Cockfighters) - 0spp in 2 games
Image Weak (Crazy Beard Express) - 11spp in 6 games
Image Aeneas (Styx αnd Warpstones) - 24spp in 7 games
Image Thor Jr the Flaybooz (Brockian Brown Bandits) - 4spp in 6 games
Image Bowser (Mutated Antagonists) - 0spp in 6 games
Total:85spp in 72 games

Strawberry: Narrowly escaping utter humiliation by 4spp, Sharper is most likely thankful for placing 6th this Fantasy league.
Chocolate: So close to being shamed! Disappointing honestly...
Strawberry: Unfortunately, escaping humiliation isn't enough to add the fantasy cup to Sharper's large trophy cabinet.
Chocolate: He'll be glad that he chose Anus for sure!
Strawberry: Ramchop, Klazam, this is where you could be if you went with the An-... Did you change.... I expect nothing less from you.
===

===
CLOSE TO THE PODIUM, BUT NO CIGAR

Semitence
Image Torgan Silvermead (Blue Mountain Giants) - 28spp in 7 games
Image Vilgorgin (Harlequins) - 9spp in 7 games
Image Neapolitan (Cold Rock) - 8spp in 7 games
Image Lemon (Pugs Not Drugs) - 3spp in 7 games
Image Glee Strawberry (Bravado) - 25spp in 7 games
Image Turbo Angry Dog III (Trondheim Hammers) - 0spp in 5 games
Image Jormama Liewood (Nottingham Arrows) - 5spp in 6 games
Image Filing-lay Flabbergast (Lab Rat Elysium) - 4spp in 4 games
Image Aeneas (Styx αnd Warpstones) - 24spp in 7 games
Image Arthas Menethil (Legends of Azeroth) - 0spp in 2 games
Image Iron Otto (Covid 6) - 2spp in 4 games
Total:108spp in 63 games

Strawberry: Semitence is up next in the standings, and oh boy did he come close to a podium finish.
Chocolate: Finally! Team's that have passed 100spp!
Strawberry: Getting into the good stuff Chocolate. 3 players carried Semitence over the spp line, being Torgan Silvermead, Glee Strawberry and... Aeneas.
Chocolate: Nearly got you that again.
Strawberry: Nearly... these 3 players contributed 71% of Semitence's total spp! Goes to show how crucial some of your picks can be.
===

===
CLOSER TO THE PODIUM, BUT CERTAINLY NO METH PIPE

Mushoomy
Image Niabatteroo (Didgeridead) - 18spp in 6 games
Image Torduken (Bronzed Raiders) - 18spp in 6 games
Image Fast Az Finn (Flack Ork Flockers) - 6spp in 7 games
Image Queen of Blades (Mutated Antagonists) - 15spp in 7 games
Image Mirhi Tybressa (Trees and Peas) - 6spp in 6 games
Image MacHandle (MacHumburgers) - 6spp in 6 games
Image Bruiser (Crazy Beard Express) - 8spp in 7 games
Image Filing-lay Flabbergast (Lab Rat Elysium) - 4spp in 4 games
Image Aeneas (Styx αnd Warpstones) - 24spp in 7 games
Image Stewart, the Vampire Aristocrat (Blackwater Cockfighters) - 3spp in 7 games
Image Kutanshy (Concussion Protocol) - 3spp in 7 games
Total:111spp in 70 games

Strawberry: Missing out of the podium by 5 spp's, Mushoomy will be furious with some of his picks!
Chocolate: As the creator of the SWL Fantasy League, you'd think that he'd put a bit more thought into some of his picks?
Strawberry: You could say that, but Mushoomy is one of 2 teams not to have a single player that didn't contribute.
Chocolate: Or... I could say that again and shame him!
Strawberry: Only coaches who place below MiyusoBot have the right to be shamed Chocolate.
Chocolate: Aw...
===

===
UNFORTUNATELY FOR THIS GUY, BRONZE CONTAINS NO SILVER

Tussock
Image Gareth Madronebrook (Nottingham Arrows) - 7spp in 7 games
Image Felix (Federated Fowlers) - 28spp in 7 games
Image Time (Speeeeed Killzzzz) - 7spp in 7 games
Image Herb and Cheese (Bun Dead) - 0spp in 1 games
Image Glee Strawberry (Bravado) - 25spp in 7 games
Image MacHandle (MacHumburgers) - 6spp in 6 games
Image Yasmirullah (Didgeridead) - 2spp in 7 games
Image Daniel (Trondheim Hammers) - 4spp in 7 games
Image Kerros Walters (Aspley Boncos) - 10spp in 7 games
Image Aeneas (Styx αnd Warpstones) - 24spp in 7 games
Image Arthas Menethil (Legends of Azeroth) - 0spp in 2 games
Image Kutanshy (Concussion Protocol) - 3spp in 7 games
Total:116spp in 72 games

Strawberry: Onto the top 3! Tussock is our third place finisher, with 116spp in 72 games!
Chocolate: Ouch! Only 5spp behind our second place.
Strawberry: The fight for second was certainly very tight.Tussock had some great picks, but unfortunately, those great picks weren't enough to win the battle for second place.
Chocolate: So what you're saying is winning the battle for second is the more impressive accolade?
Strawberry: No...
Chocolate: But it's the winner of the tighter contest?
Strawberry: Yeah... your point?
===

===
WHO CARES ABOUT FIRST PLACE? SECOND IS WHERE IT'S AT!

HaruHaru
Image Niabatteroo (Didgeridead) - 18spp in 6 games
Image Dave Loveridge (Amateur Professionals) - 17spp in 7 games
Image Carriwitchett Clackbox (Lab Rat Elysium) - 13spp in 7 games
Image Blemoa The Menace (Malice Renegades!) - 18spp in 7 games
Image Nightmare (Mutated Antagonists) - 2spp in 7 games
Image Lime (Pugs Not Drugs) - 6spp in 7 games
Image Suzie Scabs (Redgum's Repugnance) - 10spp in 7 games
Image Aeneas (Styx αnd Warpstones) - 24spp in 7 games
Image Khadgar (Legends of Azeroth) - 8spp in 7 games
Image Gelidus Rimewood (We'reWho!) - 2spp in 7 games
Image Kutanshy (Concussion Protocol) - 3spp in 7 games
Total:121spp in 76 games

Strawberry: Alright, fair.
Chocolate: Look Strawberry, without me, no one would be interested in the build up to the winner.
Strawberry: I reaaaaaally don't think that's true... HaruHaru is this season's runner up with 121spp!
Chocolate: During the fantasy league preseason, we had pointed out that HaruHaru's top 3 players cost more than half of the budget. The question becomes: "Did they pull their weight"?
Strawberry: Not quite! Only a third of HaruHaru's total. Thankfully, the rest of his team pulled their weight.
Chocolate: Well done HaruHaru... buuuuuuut you weren't even close to this season's champ.
Strawberry: Sorry...
===

===
I MEAN, DID YOU EXPECT ANYONE ELSE?

Image

Foad
Image Cah (Concussion Protocol) - 20spp in 7 games
Image Bind Soul (Blood Crag Strips) - 20spp in 6 games
Image Glee Strawberry (Bravado) - 25spp in 7 games
Image Furiosa (Murder Maidens) - 7spp in 7 games
Image Mark Donaldson (Amateur Professionals) - 15spp in 7 games
Image Rudy (Federated Fowlers) - 7spp in 7 games
Image Vivandi Lidorn (Harlequins) - 9spp in 6 games
Image Weak (Crazy Beard Express) - 11spp in 6 games
Image Aeneas (Styx αnd Warpstones) - 24spp in 7 games
Image Custard (Pugs Not Drugs) - 12spp in 7 games
Image Anduin Wrynn (Legends of Azeroth) - 15spp in 7 games
Image Dinglebat III (Trondheim Hammers) - 0spp in 7 games
Total:165spp in 81 games

Strawberry: And our winner is.....
Chocolate: On screen anyway!!!
Strawberry: Yes... that's right... it's Foad!!!
Chocolate: FOOOOOOOOOOOAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAD!!!
Strawberry: With only 4 out of 12 players contributing less than 10 spp, Foad dominated this season of fantasy goodness, topping the leaderboard 6 out of 7 weeks!
Chocolate: We said they'd be hard to beat, and they were!
Strawberry: A huge congratulations from all of us on the fantasy league committee.
Zombie Elvis: ARRRRRRRRGH!
Chocolate: GET BACK IN YOUR CAGE!!!
===

===
Final Words

Strawberry: And that's it for this season's fantasy league!
Chocolate: And a great one at that. Do you think Mushoomy will let us host again next season?
Strawberry: Ah... so you enjoyed hosting then...
Chocolate: No... for the money and shaming... totally...
Strawberry: Sure sure. A huge thanks to the 9 coaches who participated in this season of the Fantasy League! It was a pleasure to host, even the worst bits with Chocolate. To end this season off, we'd like anyone to flick Mushoomy a message with the following feedback:

- Should Strawberry and Chocolate's contracts be renewed?
- Should the budget for next season be increased?
- What are your thoughts on a 3spp bonus for stunties?

Chocolate: Aaaaaaand would like everyone to theorise what the best possible fantasy team for last season could have been! The best team devised will be featured in the first post of the next fantasy league.
Strawberry: Should be a fun off-season activity. Thanks again for tuning in. As always, full standings are available down below.

Link to full standings
MrCushtie



Joined: Aug 10, 2018

Post   Posted: Oct 06, 2020 - 06:18 Reply with quote Back to top

SWL DEATH WATCH LXXXIII WEEK SEVEN GRAND FINALE

Here goes with the top 17 performances from the last week of the show we like to call the Southern Wastes League:

Image Stone Cold, warmed up nicely by Bruiser. Chaos Beastman, 38 SPP.

Image Daniel, punished for having an even stupider name than the elves by none other than Fred Woodman. Norse Runner, 10 SPP.

Image Jock Hobbs, Hobbs by name, crumbling like a Hob Nob in hot tea by nature after a hit by Bill II. High Elf Lineman, 6 SPP.
"Aren't Hob Nobs massively anachronistic in the Blood Bowl universe, Jim?"
"Not as anachronistic as you using words like 'anachronistic', Bob!"


Image From Oni to just plain 'oh no!' following an encounter with MacNooooo. Human Lineman, 22 SPP.

Image We bid farewell to the suspiciously Kislev-sounding Ogre player Kutanshy, now cut and dry after being tackled by Petero Civoniceva. Ogre Snotling, 6 SPP.

Image Alice, flattened by Targon Heavyiron. Amazon Catcher, 20 SPP.
"I know it's a tradition for catchers to be squashed beneath heavy objects in this league, but what was that? Didn't Heavyiron know you can't win the Stu Wilson if you're on the pitch?"

I hope you washed your hands section

Image The Business Man II, sacked by Neapolitan. Nurgle Pestigor, 25 SPP.
"That's another reason not to have ice cream on your lunch break."
"He certainly turned three different colours there."


Image Colonel Autumn, fouled by Kit Kat. Nurgle Rotter, 0 SPP.

"Is that winter coming?"
"No, it's a wheelbarrow doused in hand sanitiser. That's the only way to get rid of them."


Image Super Nova, would have stars in his eyes if he still had any eyes after a hit by Trozyrk The Insane. High Elf Catcher, 20 SPP.
"There goes another 20 SPP catcher."
"There'll be another along in a minute, I'm sure..."


Image Caging Hades Chris, uncaged by Haldir Axebreaker. Necromantic Zombie, 0 SPP.

Image David Puddy, given a lesson the Classics by Eurynomos. Human Lineman, 0 SPP.
"Well, that, or beaten to death by a Norse drummer from one of those death metal bands. I don't know, I just read the cue cards and try to stay out of trouble."

Image Failing to regenerate, it's Dan, the Vampire Justicar, fouled by Pineapple. Norse Lineman, 6 SPP.
"It's ironic, isn't it? It hurts a lot to sit on a pineapple, but it hurts a lot more when one stamps on you..."

Image Bait-Shy Nu-k, decarbonated by Fizzy. Skaven Lineman, 6 SPP.
"I wouldn't wish pain on anyone, but I kind of feel it should have been Tonix that had his bubbles taken away by Fizzy..."

Image Not so nice for Nice-as-Nasty, Block by Fox da Mox. Skaven Rat Ogre, 14 SPP.
"Here last week to pick up a prize, this week, just being picked up and thrown in the bin. That's nasty, alright!"

Image Dragon Chivas, nothing but a fiery taste in the mouth of Impak. Wood Elf Lineman, 5 SPP.

Image Diesel, drained and restrained by Blacksprout Mellowthorn II. Chaos Dwarf Minotaur, 6 SPP.
"That's one hell of a mellow thorn, eh?"
"That's right. And the first time in (un)living memory that somebody actually killed a Chaos Dwarf Minotaur."


And finally, finishing off the season in style, it's a Dark Elf Lineman with a lovely pair of (slightly singed) boots:
Image Shareth the Heartstealer, stolen away forever by the first fireball fatality of the modern error. Sorry, era. Dark Elf Lineman, 6 SPP.






Well, what a season it's been! After a confoundingly slow start, we didn't think we'd have anything to write about. But the last few weeks have turned into a mass brawl, with players being torn apart left right and centre. With a record setting 19 deaths in week 5, and 17 in a week when the murder hobos of the Conferences, those Alternative Facts, could hardly bruise an elf, this has been a spectacular send off for the end of the season.

With a smashing new set of plates commissioned by the highly professional artist known as Happy Amateur, we expect this season's awards to go with a bang. But before then, let's review some of the glories of the season.

First up, the Curse of the Death Watch has claimed quite a few players:

Image Griff Oberwald, 1 kill. Fractured Leg
Image Ched, 1 kill. Groin Strain
Image Edward Silentshield, 1 kill. Dead
Image Mobad Tendaeriodr, 2 kills. Dead
Image Mornelith Falconsbane, 2 kills. Broken Ribs
Image Stuart, the End Level Guy, 1 kill. Smashed Knee
Image Rogski Splatterhand, 2 kills. Smashed Hip
Image Big T, 1 kill. Fractured Skull
Image Kullo Ironflagon, 1 kill. Broken Neck
Image Kezhan, 1 kill. Broken Neck
Image Borrl, 2 kills. Fractured Arm
Image Dhimvaco Tholnath, 2 kills. Smashed Ankle
Image Ferrari, 1 kill. Fractured Arm
Image Xenopus Laevis IIIIII, 1 kill. Fractured Skull
Image Ambivolence, 1 kill. Dead
Image The Accountant, 1 kill. Smashed Hip
Image Cronus, 2 kills. Fractured Arm
Image Ruffen' Kneeslamm, 1 kill. Pinched Nerve
Image Shin Shadowstrike, 1 kill. Smashed Ankle
Image Chris Jubba, 1 kill. Smashed Hand
Image Pete, 5 kills. Dead
Image Burger, 1 kill. Dead
Image Corpse, 1 kill. Groin Strain
Image Frankie the Mouse, 2 kills. Dead
Image Takharth Stoneheart, 1 kill. Smashed Knee
Image Elmer "Foodie" McCol, 1 kill. Pinched Nerve
Image Big T., 2 kills. Groin Strain
Image Chris Jubba, 1 kill. Smashed Ankle
Image Niabatteroo, 1 kill. Smashed Hand
Image War-failin Tonix, 1 kill. Dead
Image Maruvie Tiberus, 1 kill. Dead
Image Little Miss Legneck Won't Stop Bouncing, 1 kill. Dead
Image Xenopus Laevis IIIIII, 1 kill. Fractured Skull
Image Savage Truth, 1 kill. Gouged Eye
Image Albert, 3 kills. Groin Strain
Image Hannah Abbott, 1 kill. Smashed Hand
Image Blemoa The Menace, 4 kills. Broken Ribs
Image Golem Pokémon, 2 kills. Pinched Nerve
Image Nice-as-Nasty, 1 kill. Dead
Image Mobad Kulmokr, 1 kill. Smashed Collar Bone

Wow. A few repeat visitors there. Let's give it up for the frog with the twice-fractured skull, the one and only Xenopus Laevis IIIIII! And another big hand for Big T, the only minotaur to take a fractured skull from the Curse and still come back for seconds!

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Last edited by MrCushtie on Oct 06, 2020 - 08:42; edited 1 time in total
MrCushtie



Joined: Aug 10, 2018

Post   Posted: Oct 06, 2020 - 06:27 Reply with quote Back to top

But it's not just about the glorious killers who meet their final comeuppance. Let's put it there for the players who put it on the line, day in, day out, and then just get maimed for their troubles. Take a look at all the positionals, per race, who took their share of a beating this season:
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Of course, nobody tunes in to look at dead linemen. Look at this amazing graphic rendition of all the dead and seriously injured players from the season:
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Last edited by MrCushtie on Oct 06, 2020 - 19:20; edited 1 time in total
ramchop



Joined: Oct 12, 2013

Post   Posted: Oct 06, 2020 - 12:51
FUMBBL Staff
Reply with quote Back to top

The SWL LXXXIII Team Achievements

Regional:
Turns (1138): Gorgoth Heavies
Completions (13): Kingdom Decay (SWL)
TDs (11): Gorgoth Heavies & Legends of Azeroth
Cas (23): Legends of Azeroth
SPP (113): Legends of Azeroth
Passing yards (41): Murder Maidens
Rushing yards (214): Legends of Azeroth
Blocks (353): Murder Maidens
Fouls (39): Singed Poor Scoundrels
Blocks/Cas (14.8): Legends of Azeroth
Pass/Cp (5.3): Salute οf the Jugger
Kills (3): Gorgoth Heavies

Conferences:
Turns (1184): Blue Mountain Giants
Completions (22): Amateur Professionals
TDs (18): Federated Fowlers
Cas (29): Real Fake Alternative Facts
SPP (143): Amateur Professionals
Passing yards (154): Amateur Professionals
Rushing yards (283): Blackwater Cockfighters
Blocks (373): Blue Mountain Giants
Fouls (40): Federated Fowlers
Blocks/Cas (11.4): Styx αnd Warpstones
Pass/Cp (7.0): Amateur Professionals
Kills (5): Styx αnd Warpstones

Premier:
Turns (1125): Flack Ork Flockers
Completions (10): Bravado
TDs (9): Lab Rat Elysium, Cult of the Firedrake & Druchii Dynasty
Cas (26): Bronzed Raiders
SPP (92): Flack Ork Flockers
Passing yards (26): Druchii Dynasty
Rushing yards (192): Flack Ork Flockers & Didgeridead
Blocks (331): Flack Ork Flockers
Fouls (34): Bronzed Raiders
Blocks/Cas (14.7): Bronzed Raiders
Pass/Cp (4.3): Druchii Dynasty
Kills (3): Bronzed Raiders


Image The Unofficial Maester Whippy Dean Douglas Sundae
Image On Second Thawt (More Food for Thawt) & Image Cah (Concussion Protocol) 20 spp


The SWL Season LXXXIII Awards

Regional:
Image Image Zharkorth Bloodhoof (Gorgoth Heavies) 7 TDs
Image Image Magni Bronzebeard (Legends of Azeroth) 8 cas
Image Image Uther Lightbringer (Legends of Azeroth) 115 turns
Image Image Brawndo The Thirst Mutilator (Salute οf the Jugger) 99 rushing yards
Image Image Femme Fatale (Kingdom Decay (SWL)) 17 pass yards
Image Image Pinkeye Growthspurt (Singed Poor Scoundrels) 21 fouls
Image Image Manshape Gutwart (Singed Poor Scoundrels) 74 blocks
Image Image Femme Fatale (Kingdom Decay (SWL)) 11 cps
Image Image Uncleshape Sleazyhands (Singed Poor Scoundrels) 5 block/cas
Image Image Paedophryne Amauensis III (Skye Hoppers!) 4.34 pass/cp

Image Image Zharkorth Bloodhoof (Gorgoth Heavies) 27 SPP


Conferences:
Image Image Torgan Silvermead (Blue Mountain Giants) & ImageFelix (Federated Fowlers) 9 TDs
Image Image Fred Woodman (Amateur Professionals) 12 cas
Image Image MacKillkenny (MacHumburgers) & ImageMacSpeed (MacHumburgers) & ImageBender (Federated Fowlers)114 turns
Image Image Torgan Silvermead (Blue Mountain Giants) 230 rushing yards
Image Image Dave Loveridge (Amateur Professionals) 143 pass yards
Image Image Thriller Filler (Federated Fowlers) 29 fouls
Image Image Semla (Bun Dead) 79 blocks
Image Image Dave Loveridge (Amateur Professionals) 17 cps
Image Image Big T (Big Boys Don't Block) 3.86 block/cas
Image Image Dave Loveridge (Amateur Professionals) 8.42 pass/cp

Image Image Fred Woodman (Amateur Professionals) 34 SPP


Premier:
Image Image Niabatteroo (c) (Didgeridead) 6 TDs
Image Image Brattleboro "Guzzla" Schrinton (Lab Rat Elysium) 6 cas
Image Image Glee Strawberry (Bravado) 115 turns
Image Image Niabatteroo (c) (Didgeridead) 147 rushing yards
Image Image Dodgy Service (Bravado) 14 pass yards
Image Image Khezhan (Bronzed Raiders) 19 fouls
Image Image Hazhek Copperfist (Bronzed Raiders) 59 blocks
Image Image Dodgy Service (Bravado) 6 cps
Image Image Brattleboro "Guzzla" Schrinton (Lab Rat Elysium) 6.5 block/cas
Image Image Dodgy Service (Bravado) 2.34 pass/cp

Image Image Glee Strawberry (Bravado) 25 SPP


Last edited by ramchop on Oct 07, 2020 - 07:04; edited 1 time in total
MrCushtie



Joined: Aug 10, 2018

Post   Posted: Oct 06, 2020 - 19:18 Reply with quote Back to top

SWL DEATH WATCH AWARDS, LXXXIII

Image
You Can Dish It Out But Can You Take It Butter Dish for the team that inflicts the highest number of serious injuries and deaths, while suffering the least itself, was grabbed not by one of the predicted Chaos teams, all failing to hit hard this season, but by the Federated Fowlers with a highly respectable 16-4 ratio, including two crowd-pleasing surfs and four fouls.

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On the other hand, the You Can Take It But Can You Dish It Out Butter Dish for the team with the highest casualty rate and the lowest number of kills and serious injuries was initially awarded to Lab Rat Elysium, sustaining 15 injures and only gaining 5 in return, but as giant ratmen don't exist and therefore aren't eligible for prizes, Trees and Peas (13 injuries sustained for only 1 kill) take the beloved dish home to the forest with them.

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Because the 'Peas took the Dish, The Delicately My Dear Kid Gloves are jointly awarded to four teams, the Bloody Sphynxes, Mythic Blood, Kingdom Decay and Speeeeed Killzzzz, each only causing two injuries this season. That's one glove each, figure it out amongst you.

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The Massively Patronising "It's Called Blood Bowl For A Reason!" Bowl was initially going to the Blood Crag Stripes for a surprisingly low total number of deaths and injuries (4!) but they did have the disadvantage of only playing 6 games this season. Instead, the Bloody Sphynxes with a lamentable contribution of only 5 bodies, take it this season.

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The Glass Cannon Glass Cannon for the team that suffered the most injuries while injuring more players than anyone else did - in a shock surprise, a Chaos Dwarf team takes this award for the first time - suffering three deaths, two permanent injuries and a host of MNGs, the Crazy Beard Express went 15-8 to win. Usual contenders like the Cockfighters and the Boncos were way off the pace here. And before anyone starts complaining that it's easy to get the Glass Cannon by sacrificing hobgoblins, just check out the donations that the Express made to the Death Watch:
For:
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Against:
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Well ok, that is quite a few hobgoblins...

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The Oozeboss-SquirrelyDan You Can't Make An Omelette Without Breaking A Few Eggs Omelette, now named in honour of this 7-person bloodfest, went to Lab Rat Elysium, who managed to pull off not one, but two 5-injury omelettes in a single season. Pretty good going for a team of non-existent giant ratmen, we say.

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The What Took You So Long Digital Watch was initially a three-way tie between the Flack Ork Flockers, Cold Rock and the Waaaaghton Redskins, all taking until week 7 to get a kill. The Flockers at least managed to seriously hurt somebody in the first week, taking them out of contention, and the Redskins take home the prize, having only managed a single kill in the entire season. Do Wood Elf Linemen even count, any more?

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The Gastrotheca Riobambae III Commemorative Squashed Freddo - yet again, just three injuries to win. A tie between two elves, the malingering Sheridan Shaw just took off three games, whereas François Volente would hoist the mangled confectionary for being properly injured ... except he's dead. Broken ribs in the first week, smashed knee as soon as he got back, and then dead in round 6.

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Now that the Terrifying Chamberpot Of Certain Doom is no longer available for shoelaces, it was available for Fred Woodman to pick up. One of three players to kill three times this season, Woodman picked up the chamberpot based on his superior serious injury score. And to show there was no animus from the Death Watch committee just because he has a silly name, we filled the chamberpot to the brim for him. Hats off!

Thanks everyone, and come back soon to see next season's even-more-reliable predictions!

_________________
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mushoomy



Joined: Oct 18, 2013

Post   Posted: Oct 15, 2020 - 02:52 Reply with quote Back to top

Image

===
TEAM OF YOUR DREAMS
Image Spee Daymon (Vermintidе) - 29spp in 6 games
Image Wynfreda Winsor (Ceasg-Coast Corsairs) - 28spp in 6 games
Image Felix (Federated Fowlers) - 28spp in 7 games
Image Zharkorth Bloodhoof (Gorgoth Heavies) - 27spp in 7 games
Image Gary Whetton (Amateur Professionals) - 24spp in 7 games
Image Glee Strawberry (Bravado) - 25spp in 7 games
Image Chip (Pugs Not Drugs) - 20spp in 7 games
Image MacPickerrupper (MacHumburgers) - 17spp in 7 games
Image Aeneas (Styx αnd Warpstones) - 24spp in 7 games
Image Anduin Wrynn (Legends of Azeroth) - 15spp in 7 games
Image Gelidus Rimewood (We'reWho!) - 2spp in 7 games
Image Kutanshy (Concussion Protocol) - 3spp in 7 games
Total:242spp in 82 games

Chocolate: Isn't this team sexy?!!
Strawberry: Oh how I long for this team. But I would never be able to field that many spp hogs! They'd always fight!
Chocolate: If only there were some way to gain 242 spp's in one season of SWL. It would certainly be a FANTASY.
Strawberry: Well good news everyone! There is a way to track how many spp your dream team would get! The SWL Fantasy League is back for another round of spp goodness.

Chocolate: Right... now that that's over can I go off script?
Strawberry: Didn't you find that cheesy in a good way?
Chocolate: Maybe cheesy is what we should be aiming for with the Lab Rats winning last season. Boost the ratings?
Strawberry: Since when did you care about ratings?
Chocolate: Since when did you care about me being on a script! We didn't do that last season.
Strawberry: Yeah... we didn't... and how many episodes went of the handle, Chocolate?
Chocolate: Not enough - so we're back for more! What is the Fantasy League? Read below and see for yourself!
===

===
What is it?

The SWL Fantasy League is a fun way to add extra excitement to spectating SWL. It is a way to compete with fellow coaches by creating fantasy teams out of your favourite players in SWL.

How it works:

-You have a 1200 budget to select players from SWL Season 84 teams. A player's total cost is their positional price plus their skill cost. WTR cost is not included.

-You may spend 1250 on your team if you include a big guy on your roster. A big guy includes Trolls, Ogres, Mummies Etc. This number does not increase if you were to choose more than one big guy.

-Rosters must have between 11 and 16 players

-Only one player from each SWL team. For example, you cannot have two players from Concussion Protocol.

-Maximum of one position type per race. This means you are unable to get 2 Skaven Gutter Runners, but you may get 1 Skaven Gutter Runner and 1 Underworld Gutter Runner. (Yes, that means if you wish, you can field 4 types of goblin!)

-Players must not be hired if they have earned spp in Season 84 of SWL. This means any player that has earned spp in season 84 is ineligible for your fantasy team.

-You may not choose a player from your own SWL team. This is to ensure full focus on SWL. This also means if you are not currently an SWL player, you may still participate in the Fantasy League.

-MVP's are not included in SPP Total.

-Optional: Include a name for your Fantasy team (e.g. The Rookies). Otherwise, enjoy the name that Chocolate gives your fantasy team.
===

===
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Last Season's Winners

Foad
Image Cah (Concussion Protocol) - 20spp in 7 games
Image Bind Soul (Blood Crag Strips) - 20spp in 6 games
Image Glee Strawberry (Bravado) - 25spp in 7 games
Image Furiosa (Murder Maidens) - 7spp in 7 games
Image Mark Donaldson (Amateur Professionals) - 15spp in 7 games
Image Rudy (Federated Fowlers) - 7spp in 7 games
Image Vivandi Lidorn (Harlequins) - 9spp in 6 games
Image Weak (Crazy Beard Express) - 11spp in 6 games
Image Aeneas (Styx αnd Warpstones) - 24spp in 7 games
Image Custard (Pugs Not Drugs) - 12spp in 7 games
Image Anduin Wrynn (Legends of Azeroth) - 15spp in 7 games
Image Dinglebat III (Trondheim Hammers) - 0spp in 7 games
Total:165spp in 81 games

Strawberry: The team that has accumulated the most SPP by the end of the season will be crowned the champ of the Fantasy League and will take back the Fantasy Cup and unlimited bragging rights.
Chocolate: Last season, Foad took out the title with this amazing team! It's no TEAM OF YOUR DREAMS, but it was enough to take out the top spot.
Strawberry: Please get your teams pm'd to Mushoomy by the end of SWL ROUND 1 to participate.
Chocolate: And if you want to be helpful, send the team using the following format.

Player ID Name Race Position Team Price Starting SPP Starting MVP Starting games

Chocolate: Do note that teams are currently undergoing rebuy process. Some obvious picks may want to retire. Be aware of this and check the rebuy link to see whether the player you want, wants to retire or not.
Strawberry: We're looking forward to having an even more successful fantasy league than the last! To tune into all of the updates, make sure you watch the SWL Channel BB every week, for all of your fluff needs.
===

===
Past Winners

Season 66: Budget of 1500, No Big Guy bonus, Must have 1 player from your own team, MVP's included
Winner: Manzoo - 203spp in 71
Runner-Up: Karnov - 186spp in 70
Wooden Spoon: D_Arquebus - 99spp in 58

Season 67: Own player ruling excluded, Not allowed to choose your own players
Winner: m0gw41 - 173spp in 68 games
Runner-Up: Tomay - 152spp in 63 games
Wooden Spoon: Manzoo - 93spp in 64 games

Season 68: 50k Big Guy bonus introduced, excluded mvp's, FortisBot was created
Winner: Tussock - 159spp in 64 games
Runner-Up: Balle2000 - 134spp in 66 games
Wooden Spoon: Redgum - 88spp in 56 games

Season 69: No new changes
Winner: Mushoomy - 169spp in 68 games
Runner-Up: Balle2000 - 164spp in 73 games
Wooden Spoon: Relezite - 69spp in 57 games

Season 70: No new changes
Winner: Mushoomy - 152spp in 66 games
Runner-Up: Tussock - 144spp in 65 games
Wooden Spoon: Pdarbs - 69spp in 67 games

Season 71: No Fantasy League due to the redraft

Season 72: Budget of 1100
Winner: Jevouse - 148spp in 63 games
Runner-Up: Tussock - 127spp in 66 games
Wooden Spoon: Pdarbs - 72spp in 57 games

Season 73: Budget of 1150, FortisBot officially broken
Winner: JPM - 166spp in 75 games
Runner-Up: Mushoomy - 125spp in 69 games
Wooden Spoon: Sharper - 72spp in 64 games

Season 74: Budget of 1200
Winner: Ramchop - 178spp in 69 games
Runner-Up: Mushoomy - 146spp in 75 games
Wooden Spoon: Pdarbs - 59spp in 72 games

Season 75: Teams may now have 11 - 16 players
Winner: Mushoomy - 162spp in 68 games
Runner-Up: Daudy - 156spp in 74 games
Wooden Spoon: Nebula753 - 47spp in 61 games

Season 76 - Season 82: No Fantasy League due to lack of interest

Season 83: No new changes
Winner: Foad - 165spp in 81 games
Runner-Up: HaruHaru - 121spp in 76 games
Wooden Spoon: Klazam - 51spp in 71 games
mushoomy



Joined: Oct 18, 2013

Post   Posted: Oct 21, 2020 - 02:09 Reply with quote Back to top

Image

===
MiyusoBot 2.0 Reveal

Strawberry: Hello everybody and welcome back to a bit of pre-season fun.
Chocolate: After SHAMING Ramchop and Klazam last season, MiyusoBot is back for more with a brand new randomised team.
Strawberry: Instead of revealing this wonderful disaster of a team, we thought it'd be better to reveal each player individually, and break down how many SPP MiyusoBot 2.0 is expected to get this season.
Chocolate: Cover your eyes! Here comes your first piece of competition...
===

===
Team Roll: 48 | Player Number: 7

Image Raisin Toast (Bun Dead) - 70k

Strawberry: Up first is the potential scoring undead ghoul, Raisin Toast. Not a bad start, don't you think, Chocolate?
Chocolate: Not too shabby, not too shabby. Although this piece of toast hasn't been buttered with any skills, he's only 1 touchdown away from one! Will he roll AG and become a scoring powerhouse?
Strawberry: Possibly! But most likely not. We expect Raising Toast will score 2 touchdowns at most this season.

Predicted SPP: 6spp
===

===
Team Roll: 62 | Player Number: 4

Image Tarman (We'reWho!) - 40k

Strawberry: Next up is Necromantic zombie, Tarman!... Not awfully exciting...
Chocolate: If MiyusoBot 2.0 keeps rolling like this, he'll end up DEAD last!
Strawberry: Pretty suiting having only rolled dead players so far.
Chocolate: Aaaand you just killed the joke. Well done.

Predicted SPP: 0spp
===

===
Team Roll: 80 | Player Number: 8

Strawberry: Ah! At last! A high roll!
Chocolate: Not just a high roll, but from last season's prem winning team!
Strawberry: A gutter runner from D_Arquebus would boost MiyusoBot's spp for sure.
Chocolate: Who's number 8 then?...

Image Ars-Cynical X (Lab Rat Elysium) - 50k

Strawberry: ...
Chocolate: ...
Strawberry: We need a new number generator...

Predicted SPP: 0spp
===

===
Team Roll: 69 | Player Number: 12

Image Eunoe (Styx αnd Warpstones) - 40k

Chocolate: Alright this is just depressing. Should we just scrap this team and start over?
Strawberry: As tempting as it is Chocolate, we still have a lot of budget left. We might roll something large.
Chocolate: I mean, really though. We could have rolled Cronus... We could have rolled SPP king, Aeneas... Eunoe??? I'm not going to be able to shame anyone this season...

Predicted SPP: 0spp
===

===
Team Roll: 63 | Player Number: 1

Image Murder Thunder (Blood Crag Strips) - 140k

Strawberry: Chocolate! Wake up! This could be a hit!
Chocolate: Since when was a rookie kroxigor a hit?
Strawberry: Not just a rookie kroxigor, Chocolate, but one called Murder Thunder!!! Surely this beast of a player will murder some guys?
Chocolate: By that logic Strawberry, I would have melted on the pitch...

Predicted SPP: 4spp
===

===
Team Roll: 61 | Player Number: 6

Image Zheccag (More Food for Thawt) - 80k

Chocolate: See, this could have been a good roll if it were Khangor, but what's Zheccag going to contribute?
Strawberry: You always were a pessimist Chocolate. Think of the possibilities! A wrester breaking armour! Or even a beastman pass play!
Chocolate: I'm saying it now to all of our average-looking viewers at home. There's no point watching MiyusoBot this season.
Strawberry: *sigh*... onto the next roll I guess.

Predicted SPP: 5spp
===

===
Team Roll: 63 | TEAM ALREADY CHOSEN | Team Roll: 60 | CANNOT BE LINEMAN | Player Number: 2

Image Aggro' Hardnukkle (Vermtide) - 220k

Strawberry: HOLY SMOKES!!! WE GOT A BIG ONE!!!
Chocolate: Earning 21 spp last season, Aggro' Hardnukkle may potentially be the CAS machine MiyusoBot DESPERATELY NEEDS in order to shame a couple coaches.
Strawberry: And with the agility boost, Aggro' Hardnukkle might even score a touchdown or two!
Chocolate: Let's keep rolling like this please!

Predicted SPP: 15spp
===

===
Team Roll: 79 | CANNOT BE KROXIGOR | Player Number: 3

Image Mobad Rilmiod (Cult of the Firedrake) - 100k

Strawberry: A mighty blow Saurus in an agile division certainly isn't bad!
Chocolate: Eh... Not as cool as the last pick. Mobad Rilmiod may get a CAS or two, but would need to be rather fortunate to get any more than that.
Strawberry: Orrrrrr he could smash up the entire premiership!

Predicted SPP: 6spp
===

===
Team Roll: 66 | Player Number: 6

Strawberry: WHeeewwwww... triple 6's. Surely that must warrant a devilish player?
Chocolate: Do we need more CAS getters though? We need a scorer!

Image Bharkhak Stonefist (Bronzed Raiders) - 160k

Chocolate: I change my mind. This is a pretty cool hard hitter.
Strawberry: Bharkhak Stonefist may not have claws, but he sure has strength! A few CAS and he'll be a worthy roll to the team!

Predicted SPP: 6spp
===

===
Team Roll: 79 | CANNOT BE BEASTMAN | Player Number: 16

ImagePuggy Baconbreath (Real Fake Alternative Facts) - 200k

Strawberry: Wooaaaaah! Now this could be fun! Pity we've used the big guy discount already.
Chocolate: What do you mean by big guy? Puggy Baconbreath is tiny! I'd smash him off the pitch!
Strawberry: Wrong Puggy... Block, claw, mighty blow minotaur... man if MiyusoBot 2.0 was a real team I'd be afraid to set foot on the pitch...
Chocolate: I clearly see puggy! This is fake news I tell you! FAKE NEWS!!!

Predicted SPP: 8spp
===

===
Team Roll: 59 | CANNOT BE BEASTMAN OR MINOTAUR | Player Number: 3

Image Dudette Love (Big Boys Don't Block) - 140k

Chocolate: Man... MiyusoBot 2.0 is so set on getting casualties you'd think that I made the team...
Strawberry: You're not wrong. Completing the Chaos Chosen set, Dudette Love brings another set of claws to the table.
Chocolate: I think you were onto something before, Strawberry. I totally would need to bring my poop bags with me.

Predicted SPP: 4spp
===

===
THE TEAM

MiyusoBot 2.0
Image Aggro' Hardnukkle (Vermtide) - 220k
ImagePuggy Baconbreath (Real Fake Alternative Facts) - 200k
Image Bharkhak Stonefist (Bronzed Raiders) - 160k
Image Murder Thunder (Blood Crag Strips) - 140k
Image Dudette Love (Big Boys Don't Block) - 140k
Image Mobad Rilmiod (Cult of the Firedrake) - 100k
Image Zheccag (More Food for Thawt) - 80k
Image Raisin Toast (Bun Dead) - 70k
Image Ars-Cynical X (Lab Rat Elysium) - 50k
Image Tarman (We'reWho!) - 40k
Image Eunoe (Styx αnd Warpstones) - 40k
Total 1240k

Predicted SPP: 54spp

Strawberry: Well there you have it folks! This is your benchmark for Season 84.
Chocolate: And a very very low one at that.
Strawberry: Although a lucky CAS season could propel the team forward, you're going to have to choose extremely badly in order to be shamed this season.
===

===
Closing Words:

Strawberry: Season 84 has officially kicked off, but it's not too late to pull together a team!
Chocolate: DON'T BE A SLACKER!!! Only 5 games have been played so far. There are plenty good picks to choose from.
Strawberry: With 8 teams signed up for season 84 of the SWL Fantasy league, we only need 2 more teams to beat last season's numbers and with more teams comes more writing material for SWL Channel BB.
Chocolate: And more pay for us!
Strawberry: It takes 20 minutes to make a team, then all you have to do is tune in every Sunday for some hopefully enjoyable fluff. We hope to see you enter. Bring on Fantasy League Season 84!
===
MrCushtie



Joined: Aug 10, 2018

Post   Posted: Oct 21, 2020 - 21:49 Reply with quote Back to top

SWL DEATH WATCH PREDICTIONS , SEASON LXXXIV

It's that time again, with the season just started (but we promise our prognosticators have not been sneaking a look at early results!) as we bring in the new, Grudge-o-matic enhanced predictions for who's taking home the prizes in 8 weeks time:

The You Can Dish It Out But Can You Take It Butter Dish for the team that inflicts the highest number of serious injuries and deaths, while suffering the least itself, was handed by the Didgeridudes to Federal Fowlers. In their first Premiership season we'd expect them to take a few more hits, but with the softhanded elfball promised by the top division of SWL LXXXIV, all bets are off. Safe money says the Really Fat Alternating Farts will prioritise hurting over scoring again, but let's face it, it's either going to be a surprise effort by the Amazing Proverbials, or Bonzo Rapiers. Hard to call this one, as although Sharper's chorfs are reliably hard hitting, it's not often that the team escapes without a few broken hobgoblins.

The You Can Take It But Can You Dish It Out Butter Dish for the team with the highest casualty rate and the lowest number of kills and serious injuries will go to Mordor Mayhems. They have one Mighty Blow blitzer right now, but Furiosa will probably spend half the season in traction and the Conferences are no strangers to Tackle.

The Delicately My Dear Kid Gloves, for the team that damaged the least number of opposing players will be taken by Sale of the Jug ... Er because it's no good spamming Guard if you can't back things up with plenty of Mighty Blow. And rerolls. Or at least that's what some goblin on Farcebook told us, and who are we to argue?

The Massively Patronising "It's Called Blood Bowl For A Reason!" Bowl is going to Pigs Not Dogs, as this Necromantic side has been consistently disappointing when it comes to thumping people. Yes, they might be able to win multiple Premiership titles, but they've never come close to double figures for serious injuries, and that's what the fans all want.

The Glass Cannon Glass Cannon for the team that suffered the most injuries while injuring more players than anyone else did - pretty much a shoe-in for Asthma Broncos. Miyuso's games always end up with a lot of players off the field, and bouncing down to the Regionals for a season gives him a chance to beat up some unprepared rookies. But we're also sure that AV7 will be a treat for more than one new team...

The You Can't Make An Omelette Without Breaking A Few Eggs Omelette, won't be retained by Lobrot Enthusiasm as there just aren't enough hard hitters in the Prem to take on the current champions. We expect it to be a slaughter fest led by Semla as Bored Dead destroy all the snotlings of the Bonny Booze

Who will take the What Took You So Long Digital Watch? As always, nobody cares, it's an award for making people wait and nobody has time for that. All we can say is, if the Wormington Redsocks retain this for a second season, Impackt should take up a new sport. Get stuck in!

The Gastrotheca Riobambae III Commemorative Squashed Freddo went to Braver Dough last season, but still nobody's cracked the elusive four injuries in a single season. Will ramcheap's wooden elves pull this one off?

The Terrifying Chamberpot Of Certain Doom got scooped up by everyone's favourite joke name, Franklin Wheelman but this season we believe it'll be that vicious minotaur, On Second Fart that will be clenching the Chamberpot in his tentacles come the end of everything...

_________________
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