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SkittleMosaic



Joined: May 17, 2018

Post   Posted: Aug 09, 2021 - 10:33 Reply with quote Back to top

After a timid first two seasons, the players and coach of Ouch in Pouch got enough experience to pull off an aggressive and impressive 4-2-1 season to come second place in their Conference and make Prem!

The Rebuy

This season, Ouch in a Pouch was able to accrue enough funds with a young enough squad that they didn’t have to fire a single skilled player! This may have been a mistake as a more selective approach may have afforded some more meatshield rookies. As such, there likely won’t be much of a team left by the end of the season, so this season may be the best opportunity Ouch in a Pouch gets to take Prem.

The Team

Stronk Squad - Macropounder, Drop Beargrills and Taz Devilspinner

These three work in tandem; Beargrlills kills, Taz holds her ground and lends her strength, and Macropounder does a bit of both. Macropounders’ injured leg almost got her cut from the team, but her Blocking skills were too important to the function of the team. Keeping Macro meant less meatshields, and with Taz unable to shake their niggling injury, the frontlining Stronk Squad may be short lived…

The Sweepers - Numb Bat-Bat and Thyla the Unseen

A pair of pesky runners, with Numbs two heads (Bat and Bat) and Thyla always on her Guard they are a formidable pair. Both are working on new skills to score in one turn and tackle the opposition respectively. Unfortunately this means they’re likely to get Blodgeoned and Stepped on quite a bit...

The Sackers - Rakali Alleywrecker and Quoll Patrol

Circling the enemy, waiting for the ball carrier to become exposed, these Wrestlers are waiting to Tackle the opposition or Strip the Ball away. They are in a high risk environment but if they survive this Daunting task they will be stronger than before.

The Other Ones - Sparky and Puntoroo

Sparky can Kick, Puntoroo can Pass. It may have been a mistake to keep Puntoroo when the Gutter Runners are as good as she is at ball retrieval and the funds could have provided 2 more meat shields instead. Time will tell.

The Meatshields - Dead Ringer and Brushed Aside

Luckily there are a lot of Possum-Skaven in the Southern Wastes…

The Competition

The Chorf Meat Grinder - Crazy Beard Express & Bronzed Raiders

Bronzed Raiders have won Prem 3 times before, and CBE was the only team to beat Ouch last season (and CBE had a flawless season to boot). Stampede will be incredibly difficult to get the ball off, and The Legendary Torduken is no slouch either! Their unusual lack of Claw matters not against Skaven armour. Both teams will turn Ouch into roadkill, and having to play them back to back out the gate will set the tone for the rest of the season.

Ninja Wolves - Play Fetch

They dominated their conference and continue to get better every game. 2 extremely agile werewolves will be incredibly hard to stop on both offense and defense for any team, and even more so with a battered team. Expect Play Fetch to dominate for as long as those Wolves draw breath.

Deadly & Dashing Dynamite - Styx αnd Warpstones

Aeneas and Cronus are relentless goal scorers and killers respectively. Luckily that’s about all the team has to throw at us at the time of writing, but the coach has years of experience; this is their fifth time in Prem which is an extraordinary feat especially for a Dynamite team. If Ouch has recovered from the Chorf grinder then Styx will almost certainly have a wizard at their disposal, fueling Styx' evasive and perfected “goblin and mouse” tactics.

The Legendary Lizards - Cult of the Firedrake & Cold Rock

Cold Rock is the defending champion, and Cult managed to stay in Prem. Both have a formidable Saurus lineup, though Cold Rock opted to fire some Saurus to keep their power Skink Snickers, while Cult retired the lightning fast Herbad Ith to retain all the Saurus. The ball is possibly safer against Cult but the players of Ouch are not.

Wildcard Woodies - Loec’s Loggers

A team unexpected to be in Prem with a 3-0-4 record last season. The team is a little undercooked compared to the rest of the field as they had to let their Strong Catcher Arithel go in the rebuy, but as we are playing them at the end of the season we may be looking at a different beast come match day.

Summary

I think Ouch currently has all the tools to go toe to toe with every team, though it’ll be extremely tough to get up over every match. A 5-2-0 is what would be needed to take Prem and likely the limit of what’s possible, and would likely need 4 wins to stay there. Will those tools stay intact for the season or do the job properly? Watch this space to find out!


Last edited by SkittleMosaic on Aug 09, 2021 - 14:01; edited 2 times in total
SkittleMosaic



Joined: May 17, 2018

Post   Posted: Aug 09, 2021 - 13:45 Reply with quote Back to top

Game 1 vs Crazy Beard Express

CBE won the toss and chose to receive. An aggressive contact strategy from Ouch in a Pouch prevents a cage and gets them a successful shot on the ball at the expense of a few players. In an attempt to conserve the Blitz to move Macropounder, a rerolled 1 in 9 block into a failed 2+ pickup left Ouchs' players in a dangerous position which CBE continued to capitalise on and stay well ahead on attrition. A crazy play by the Two Headed Numb Bat-Bat gave Ouch a chance to score, but were losing players too fast to convert. They did prevent the score and Macropounder managed to kill Loco, and may be able to stay relevant with some solid KO rolls. 0-0.

Second half Ouch did not get solid KO rolls and was down 5 v 9. A Perfect D complicated things but with enough dice Ouch got a light screen with a GR in range to score. Stampede, who was Apo'ed to life first half, was fast enough to knock the GR down. A bit of brutalising and CBE had pitch cleared Ouch by turn 3 and casually scored on turn 8. 0-1.

Aftermath
Ouch suffered 2 deaths and 2 MNGs (no deaths of crucial pieces) but Numb Bat-Bat followed up her crazy dodge, pickup and pass play by picking up Agility! The sea of Journeymen meatshields and lower team value may mean the team is in a better position than it was before this trainwrecking! A loss at the start of the season is a huge blow though and the team will require some big wins against quality opposition in the next few games to stay in the race.
SkittleMosaic



Joined: May 17, 2018

Post   Posted: Aug 22, 2021 - 03:43 Reply with quote Back to top

Round 2 vs Bronzed Raiders

The 3 time champs chose to receive. They ground up the board and some linerats as Chorfs tend to do. Ouch tried to pick off Thad’hak, separate the Raiders into 2, and had a late shot at the ball, but to no avail. The Raiders scored on turn 8. Ouch had 3 of their 7 KO's come back, enough for a one turn attempt, and Numb Bat-Bat would’ve pulled it off were it not for the tripwire. 0-1.

Ouch started the second half with 8. They tried to push down the right flank with a sideline cage but an urgency for forward movement and a failed Hob KD left Numb Bat-Bat exposed, which Torduken made short work of with Tackle and Kofaer scooped the ball and was off. Ouch made a few desperation plays to try and get it back but to no avail. 0-2.

Round 3 vs Play Fetch

Ouch received. Play Fetch took 2 kegs. It was more of a moshpit than Ouch preferred but the 3 guard pieces put in work and they were able to foul out the Ag 5 Wolf Diana (and tried on the Ag 4 Nathaniel but was sent off). When Play Fetch seemed reasonably stuck on the left flank the ball moved right. Play Fetch tried to threaten but Ouch cut them off and held til turn 6. 1-0.

Diana rolls a 1 for KO! A deep high kick gets the ball on Nathaniel and is covered by a loose screen on their right flank. 3 gutters dodge and GFI their hearts out to cut through from the left to get the ball loose and onto Quoll Patrol! Xander KOs Quoll Patrol and Nathaniel scoops and passes to the Ma 8 Ghoul Berewick. Some linerat assistance and a dodge blitz from Drop Beargrills pops the ball loose. Thyla the Unseen runs to the endzone and the now ludicrously agile Numb Bat-Bat dodges, scoops, GFI’s and long bombs for a turn 8 score! 2-0.

Diana rolls a 1 for KO!!! No one turn score attempt. 2-0.

Diana rolls a 1 for KO!!!!! Early KO’s put the pressure on Ouch. A vulnerable position from urgency let Ouch ground the ball, but the Gutters were swept aside easily enough and Nathaniel scooped to score on turn 4. 2-1.

Diana rolls a better KO Sad 8 v 11. Diana threatens the ball but Ouch hands it off and gets the ball into range with a sideline cage. Diana goes for a GFI and 3+ dodge dive but snakes it. Taz clears the way for Thyla the Unseen to score on turn 6. 3-1.

Ouch keeps their good pieces safe. Play Fetch continues to roll 1s. 3-1.

Round 4 vs Styx αnd Warpstones

Styx kicks with a Wizard and 2 kegs. Ouch pushes hard for the 2 Styx MVPs, not killing Cronus but an obvious foul from Rakali Badly Hurts The Legendary Aeneas (which Styx does not apo). Cronus seems determined not to kill anyone so Ouch helps by injuring themselves. A decent screen keeps the ball safe for a couple turns but the threat of a wizard forces a turn 6 score. 1-0.


A Blitz! puts huge pressure on the ball but a decent pass puts Cronus in range with no one to easily hit the ball. 3 Gutters are fast and dodgy enough to put him down but not score in response. A cute turn 8 TTM fails. 1-0.

Ouch is down 8 v 10 a couple turns in but able to put enough pressure to force a turn 4 score (and Styx still has the Wizard to potentially turn the game around.) 1-1.

Ouch probably respects the Wizard too much and scores on turn 5 with some cute chain pushes. 2-1.

Ouch successfully defends to force another TTM attempt which falls flat, and Cronus couldn’t even kill a frog so a Goblin stepped on it. 2-1.

Aftermath

After Round 4 we are 2-0-2, enough to take prem with 3 more wins, or stay there with 2. The team is looking better than ever after surviving some lethal killers and getting over Play Fetch (with Nuffle's help) which Ouch considers the favourites. We have enough money to get 12 players if we wish, though we need to wait for the other teams to play their games before deciding. These last 3 games are gonna be a ride so strap in!
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