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Joined: Apr 10, 2011

Post   Posted: Nov 02, 2022 - 05:05 Reply with quote Back to top

Nelphine wrote:
Look you, Szeattle tried to improve our MNG standings! We have 1060k tv MNG for our next match!

Edit: Wait, you're not counting serious injuries or niggles as MNG?? Bah! We're over 300 MNG already! (its actually a little over 32 per week, means more than 1 player per team per game)

Oh yeah, I'm just counting pure MNGs only Wink We've done a lot more damage than that if you count NIs and SIs!

Joined: Jan 29, 2016

Post   Posted: Nov 03, 2022 - 05:25 Reply with quote Back to top

NBFL Playoff Race


—In the hunt for the 1 seed —

New York Kroaks 65 pts.
Games remaining ( Dallas 40 pts, Chicagorks 58 pts)

Still in first, but need to win out for the 1 seed, and while they control their own destiny they have the toughest schedule of the teams trying to get the first round bye. They will play 2 teams looking for playoff spots. The game against Dallas will see 3 missing blitzers.

Tampa Neigh Buck'n beards 62pts
Games remaining (Atlanta 3pts, Los Angeles 44 pts)

Tampa has locked up the otherwise young NFC south now eyes the Bye. They should be in a spot to rest up if they don't push for the 1 seed in week 14 against the bashy elves in LA.

Szeattle Scimitars 58pts
Games remaining (Trans-Fat 13 pts, Arizona 40 pts)

Szeattle should coast into the final week on a winning streak, but will run into an Arizona team trying to secure their own playoff spot. A big division rivalry that will be one of the week 14 games to watch

—Still trying to win the division—

ChicagOrkz Borkz 58 pts
Games remaining (Woodington 22 pts, New York 65 pts)

Manglesota Lyc'ns 58 pts
Games remaining (Detroit 10pts, Mean Fae 46 pts)

Manglesota controls who wins the division. The divison winner could be in any spot 1-4 with the runner up the 5 or 6.

—Fighting for the Wildcards—

Los Angeles Glams 51 pts
Games remaining (Carolina 23 pts, Tampa 55 pts)

The Glams can still win the west, but it’s more likely a wildcard chase. A couple of tricky but winnable games that lead into what could be a very meta last game. With Tampa possibly resting, or maybe just playing for pain in what might be these two teams playing back to back with a round 1 match up. They may need a win as a tie would give Arizona a chance to catch up and get in on the head to head tiebreaker.

Arizona Redbulls 54 pts
Games remaining (NOLA 27pts Szeattle 51 pts)

More likely to win the west than the Glams, but in a very similar situation. Winning out may be what they have to do to push Mean Fae out of the playoffs. If it comes down to it, they do have the tiebreaker over the Glams and would have the tiebreaker over Dallas and Mean Fae.

Mean Fae Quackers 46 pts (12 games)
Games remaining (Illadelph 12 pts, Manglesota Lyc'ns51 pts)

If Mean Fae wants balance they need to drop the last two games. They may need to win them both to hang on to a playoff spot, but a late season push has them controlling their playoff fate.

Dallas Crowbar 40 pts
Games remaining (Detroit 10pts, New York 65 pts,Woodington 22 pts)

The last team with a shot to get a wild card. A get back to winning game against the vamps could set up a must win game in the rivalry with the Frogs. The week 13 matchup would be the 10th time these teams met, with the Kroaks taking the last 2 for a narrow 3-4-2 series record for the Kroaks.


Last edited by dashergeaux on Nov 10, 2022 - 13:17; edited 5 times in total

Joined: Jan 29, 2016

Post   Posted: Nov 03, 2022 - 17:15 Reply with quote Back to top

NBFL Playoff Race


—In the hunt for the 1 seed —

Las Vegas Evaders 66 pts (West Winner)
Games Remaining (Houston 65 pts, Denver 23 pts)

Beat Houston, and the #1 seed belongs to the evaders. Tie, and they need to win or be be better than Houston week 14. Could fall to the 3 if they can't find more than 6 points in the last two games.

Houston Treants 65 pts (South Winner)
Games Remaining (Las Vegas 66 pts, Jakesonville 40 pts)

Just win for the 1 seed

-Probably holding down the North-

Cleaved Land Bedlam 65 pts
Games Remaining (No-Skincinnati 36 pts)

The division isn't a sure thing. Could be the one, but without another point, could be the 5 if Baltimore continues to win.

—Still trying to win the East—-

New Ziggland Chariots 47 pts (2 games remaining)
Games Remaining (Buffalo 37 pts, Baltimore 51 pts)

The Chariots were a preseason favorite for the one seed, but struggled to keep up with the actual elves. Some big missing pieces are going to make for a tight finish, and could see them miss the playoffs entirely. They can tie Buffalo to wrap up the East, but losses make it anyone's game.

Buffalo Chill 37 pts
Games Remaining (New Ziggland 47 pts, Florida 24 pts)

Buffalo can steal the division but need a lot of help. They first need to win against a beat up Charoits squad, easy enough, but then need to hope that New Zigg struggles with a Baltimore and that the Gents don’t go on a run of their own to steal away the 4 seed. Playoffs are possible, but the division win is likely the only real shot at a spot.

Brew More Gents 33 pts (2 games remaining)
Games Remaining (No-Skincinnati 36 pts, Pittsburgh 33 pts )

Brewmore needs a Buffalo win vs New Zigg, then a Chariots loss to Baltimore while making sure they win out themselves. They would win the division on tie breakers with two wins and a tie, but there is little margin for error and they need the New Ziggland stumble to Buffalo. Like Buffalo, if they can’t win the division they playoffs may have to wait until next year.

—Fighting for the Wildcards—

Tijuana Charros 51 pts (2 games remaining)
Games Remaining (Orkapolis 34 pts, Titannesse 25 pts)

Tijuana is the one of the best defensive teams in the league. And they’ll need a couple of games where they put up points to stay in contention for a wild card spot in the muddled AFC.

Baltimore Nevermore 51 pts
Games Remaining (Florida 24 pts, New Ziggland 47 pts)

Baltimore has been surprising teams all season and whipping their fans and players into a Frenzy. A week 14 game against a New Ziggland team limping to the finish line could determine if they get in, but they could also be safely in with two wins with a few breaks.

Jakesonville Jortles 40 pts (2 games remaining)
Games Remaining (Denver 23 pts, Houston 62 pts)

The Marv Levy of the NBFL is back. Coach mrt is leading his rats into what could be his return to the Playoffs after a few lean years. He’ll need to close strong, and may benefit from a Houston team looking to say healthy week 14, but that Houston team would also love to deny the division rival a spot. No one wants to play gutter runners in OT, so they would be a scary playoff opponent.

No-Skincinnati Bungles 36 pts
Games Remaining (Brew More 33 pts, Cleaved Land 58 pts)

The Bungles are learning the hard way that ties just don’t get you into the playoffs. They’ll need to pick up their pace and win a couple in the home stretch against playoff competition to lumber into the playoffs.

-Mathematically possible… maybe??-

Orkapolis Wargs 37 pts (2 games remaining)
Games Remaining (Tijuana 44 pts, Kansas City 32 pts)

Kansas City Geese 35 pts (2 games remaining)
Games Remaining (Titannesse 25 pts, Orkapolis 34 pts)

And there were 2.


Last edited by dashergeaux on Nov 11, 2022 - 03:09; edited 5 times in total

Joined: Apr 10, 2011

Post   Posted: Nov 04, 2022 - 04:59 Reply with quote Back to top

NBFL Week 11

This was a fun week for star players: Griff Oberwald found himself (or his body double) recruited by Tijuana and Morg caught a dislocated shoulder trying to stop Tampa Bay. Not to mention if we peer into our crystal ball to week 12 we can see the demise of Mr. Ghoul-Chewer and maiming of Morg in the same match! But enough about these flouncy stars and their regenerating limbs: the league dished out plenty of hurt to players without dedicated medical staff.

Dead of the Week

Lenny Ford: Cleaved Land beastman; Fend, Tackle
Richard Bucket [O]: Floridaman lineman draftee; Dodge, Dirty Player, Sneaky Git
Luke Tenuta: Buffalo lineman; Tackle, Sprint
Von Miller: Buffalo lineman; Dirty Player
Maliek Collins: Houston lineman; Wrestle, Dodge
Coll Qmet: Titannesse pestigor; no skills
Marc Brown [HOWL]: Tijuana pestigor draftee; Block, Mighty Blow, Tackle, Guard, Claws, Juggernaut
Frank: Illadelph chosen blocker; Block
DeMarcus “Tank” Lawrence [DAL]: Arizona dwarf blocker; Guard, Mighty Blow, Stand Firm

Death of the Week: This week’s top honor goes to our first killed legend of the season: Marc Brown, the Terror in Tijuana. While I can’t say I’ll personally miss playing against this killer, amon242 can rest easy knowing Brown gave it all in a 2-0 win over division rival the Geese.

Maimed of the Week
Reshad Jones [QUZ]: Carolina bloater draftee (-AG); Block, Dodge, Guard, Stand Firm
Pastis Ricard: Pittsburgh lineman (-PA); Guard, Stand Firm
Divine Diablo: Las Vegas lineman (-PA); Guard
Latavius M:Denver skink (-AG); no skills
Miyuso the DrunkFinn: Mean Fae lineman (-MA); Sure Hands, Sneaky Git

Total NI this week: 17
Total MNG this week: 18

Joined: Aug 02, 2003

Post   Posted: Nov 06, 2022 - 04:47 Reply with quote Back to top

The NBFL lost a peaceful soul with Marc Browns passing - he loved everyone who played the game and his loss will be felt by those who came into contact with him, gently guiding them to the injury box.

RIP Marc!


Marc Brown - gone too soon 2020 - 2022

Joined: Apr 01, 2011

Post   Posted: Nov 10, 2022 - 05:30 Reply with quote Back to top

Week 12 standings! How we missed them! Getting down to the wire, and the race is certainly coming down to the wire! Who are the favourites, who are the wild cards, who are the insane freaking frogs??!?!

Close now means within 2 draws.

1: New York (East) - Secured Playoff Spot week 12, Secured Division Title week 12
2: Tampa (South) - Secured Playoff Spot week 12, Secured Division Title week 12
3/4: Manglesota (North), Szeattle (West)
5: ChicagOrkz (North)
6: Arizona (West)
7: Los Angeles (West)
teams near 7: Mean Fae (North)
Outside shot at 7: Dallas

All 6 of the teams competing for the 5 3-7 spots, could get any of those spots.
All 7 of the top 7 teams in NFC, could still take the number 1 bye.

1: Las Vegas (West) - Secured Playoff Spot week 11, Secured Division Title week 12
2: Houston (South) - Secured Playoff Spot week 11, Secured Division Title week 12
3: Cleaved Land (North) - Secured Playoff Spot week 12
4: New Ziggurtland (East)
5/6: Baltimore (North) - Secured Playoff Spot week 12, has tiebreaker over Cleaved Land
5/6: Tijuana (West)
7: Jakesoneville (South)
close to 7: Orkopalis, Buffalo, No-Skincinnati, Kansas City, Titannesse
Outside shot at 7: Pittsburgh, Brew More

Tijuana needs a single point, or for both Orkopalis and Buffalo to fail to win all their remaining games, and their spot will be secure. #7 in AFC has like 37 teams (its actually 8 ) competing for it.

Last edited by Nelphine on Nov 10, 2022 - 18:50; edited 1 time in total

Joined: Aug 01, 2015

Post   Posted: Nov 10, 2022 - 06:27 Reply with quote Back to top

NFC Predictions:

East: Kroaks at 68
North: Borks at 68
South: Tampa at 72
West: Seattle at 68

Wild Cards:
Manglesota at 65
Arizona at 64
Glams at 61

Sad People:
Grue at 60
Dallas at 54

My predictions based on gut feel + coaches.

Joined: Apr 10, 2011

Post   Posted: Nov 11, 2022 - 19:30 Reply with quote Back to top

NBFL Week 12

We got another one, this time between Woodington and Illadelph. Despite the best efforts of coach garcangel, whose elves were punching up a storm out there, no SI or kill occurred in a match for just the 6th time this season! I suppose we could see Dallas/Detroit end up with no serious injuries or deaths when they play Sunday… but who am I kidding, it’s vamps v. dwarves! It’s gonna be a bloodbath! Also: not waiting until then to publish the deadlist, that’s waaaay too long.

Dead of the Week

Kodak Black: Baltimore marauder lineman; Dirty Player, Block
John Metchie: Houston catcher; Block

Death of the Week: I mean, look at this. Pathetic! Death of the week goes to Willow Rosebark and Varag Ghoul-Chewer. *throws down papers in disgust and exits stage left* (to be fair, there were three killed journeymen too but… [insert John Travolta meme from Pulp Fiction here])

Maimed of the Week
Nick Powden Jr.: Tampa chaos dwarf blocker (-AG); Mighty Blow, Guard, Stand Firm, Pro
Michael Kisser:LA lineman (-AG); Wrestle, Sidestep
Ellidan: NOLA lineman (-AV); Dodge
Shaq Lawson: Buffalo lineman (-ST); no skills
Brandon Dozer: Las Vegas lineman (-PA); Fend
Dave Brown [DUKE]: Jakesonville gutter runner draftee (-AV); +ST, Block, Side Step, Fend, Tackle
Laurent Magveil [UCSD]: Jakesonville blitzer draftee (-PA); Tackle, Mighty Blow, Dodge, Guard, Side Step
Rayshon Jortkins: Jakesonville linerat (-AV); Tentacles, Frenzy
Griff Oberwald: Tijuana rotter (-ST); no skills
Short Klazam in a Tall Hat: Mean Fae lineman (-AG); Jump Up
Travis Brown [UNM]: New York blitzer draftee (-MA); Block, Tackle, Stand Firm, Dodge, Guard
Javier “Stoney” DeadOrc: Manglesota zombie (-AV); Block, Guard
Polian Edra: Szeattle lineman (-AV); Stand Firm

Total NI this week: 12
Total MNG this week: 14

Joined: Apr 01, 2011

Post   Posted: Nov 11, 2022 - 19:36 Reply with quote Back to top

and, since winter doesn't count them, we also got Willow killed!

Joined: Apr 10, 2011

Post   Posted: Nov 11, 2022 - 21:10 Reply with quote Back to top

(she got called out in the death of the week Wink )

Joined: Aug 02, 2003

Post   Posted: Nov 11, 2022 - 23:34 Reply with quote Back to top


Griff Oberwald: Tijuana rotter (-ST); no skills

Griff is not quite the star when you take away all his skills

Into the maggot soup you go!

Joined: Apr 01, 2011

Post   Posted: Nov 16, 2022 - 06:58 Reply with quote Back to top

Week 13 is coming quickly to an end (although 3 games have yet to be played), so lets take another look!

Close now means within 1 draw.

1: New York (East) - Secured Playoff Spot week 12, Secured Division Title week 12
2: Tampa (South) - Secured Playoff Spot week 12, Secured Division Title week 12
3: Seattle (West) - Secured Playoff Spot week 13, Secured Division Title week 13
4: Manglesota (North) - Secured Playoff Spot week 13, Secured Division Title week 13
5/6: ChicagOrkz (North), Los Angeles (West)
7: Arizona (West) - has tiebreaker over Dallas
teams near 7: Mean Fae (North)

5-7 are all being contested by 4 teams. On a Win, Mean Fae has more points than any of the current 5-7. On a draw, they are ahead of Arizona.

The bye (and all 4 of the top 4 spots) is being contested by 4 teams.
- If the Kroaks win, they get the bye.
- If the Kroaks draw or lose, Tampa gets the bye if they win.
- If Kroaks lose, Tampa gets the bye if they draw (Tampa has tiebreaker over all other competitors, including Kroaks).
- If both Kroaks and Tampa lose, Manglesota has the tiebreaker over Kroaks (if they win both remaining games); Szeattle has the tiebreaker over both Manglesota and ChicagOrkz; Manglesota has the tiebreaker over ChicagOrkz; Szeattle has the tiebreaker over Los Angeles; Szeattle (if they win) and Kroaks would be tied for conference record, and so by dint of touchdowns (16-8 + a loss for New York, 19-9 + a win for Szeattle) Szeattle has the tiebreaker over Kroaks.

1: Las Vegas (West) - Secured Playoff Spot week 11, Secured Division Title week 12, Secured Bye week 13
2/3: Houston (South) - Secured Playoff Spot week 11, Secured Division Title week 12
2/3: Cleaved Land (North) - Secured Playoff Spot week 12
4: New Ziggurtland (East) - Secured Playoff Spot week 13, Secured Division Title week 13, Secured Number Four Spot week 13
5: Baltimore (North) - Secured Playoff Spot week 12, has tiebreaker over Cleaved Land
6: Tijuana (West) - Secured Playoff Spot week 13
7: Orkopalis (South)
Outside shot at 7: Buffalo, Jakesoneville, Brew More, Kansas City

5 teams compete for the 7th place wildcard.
Orkopalis secures a playoff spot with a win (and if Tijuana loses as well, Orkopalis would move to 6th). On an Orkopalis draw, Jakesoneville, Buffalo and Brew More could beat Orkopalis (Orkopalis loses tiebreaker to all of these teams), but only if they win all remaining games.

Joined: Apr 10, 2011

Post   Posted: Nov 19, 2022 - 22:24 Reply with quote Back to top

NBFL Week 13

Oooh, no kills or Serious Injuries in this pillowfight between Szeattle and Trans-Fat Crisco. The rest of the league more than made up for it, though, with a flurry of kills. As we slide into playoff season we also had a fun first: more niggling injuries were doled out than pure MNGs this week for the first time this season!

Dead of the Week

Jake Pummel: Los Angeles lineman; no skills
Stalker [NCC]: Carolina bloater draftee; Block, Guard, Stand Firm
James Winsome [FSU]: Atlanta blitzer draftee; Tackle, Dodge, Side Step, Jump Up
Londyn Ramen: Atlanta lineman; Wrestle
Ed Norton: Baltimore lineman; Wrestle, Dirty Player
Khalil Shakir: Buffalo assassin; Tackle
Krat Likth: Jakesonville linerat; no skills
Tim Jorts: Jakesonville linerat; Horns
Kreekin Allen: Tijuana rotter; Dirty Player
Zygum: Illadelph chosen blocker; no skills

Death of the Week: Well would you look at that – a return to form from the league! 10 kills! (11 if you add in the fact that Eldril “died”). And two dead draft picks, so that means we have two in the running for Death of the Week. While Atlanta’s James Winsome was a star with three (!) secondary skills, I hear that it’s going to be tricky (i.e. impossible) drafting 3-skill Strength players in the upcoming draft, so Carolina is going to be feeling the loss of Stalker more acutely. On a team just trying to get the basic pieces in place this is quite a setback, and so earns Carolina the dubious honor of Death of the Week.

Maimed of the Week

Jerry Lei: Titannesse rotter (-AV); Prehensile Tail, Foul Appearance
Rekokhel Okwara [LVS]: Jakesonville gutter runner draftee (-PA); Tackle, Leap, Side Step, Dauntless, Wrestle
Ex-con: Mean Fae lineman (-AV); Strip Ball, Pro
Spew Pastorino [PAIN]: Detroit vampire draftee (-PA); Block, Guard, Dodge, Pro

Total NI this week: 19
Total MNG this week: 12

Joined: Apr 01, 2011

Post   Posted: Nov 24, 2022 - 06:38 Reply with quote Back to top

Week 14 has finished with a bang! For the first time ever in the history of the league, TWO wizards worked in the same week!

This leads us to the following standing:

1: New York (East) - Secured Playoff week 12, Secured Division Title week 12, Secured Bye week 14
2: Szeattle (West) - Secured Playoff week 13, Secured Division Title week 13, Secured #2 week 14
3: Tampa (South) - Secured Playoff week 12, Secured Division Title week 12, Secured #3 week 14
4: Manglesota (North) - Secured Playoff week 13, Secured Division Title week 13, Secured #4 week 14
5: Los Angeles (West) - Secured Playoff week 13, Secured #5 week 14
6: ChicagOrkz (North) - Secured Playoff week 14, Secured #6 week 14
7: Mean Fae (North) - Secured Playoff week 14, Secured #7 week 14

1: Las Vegas (West) - Secured Playoff week 11, Secured Division Title week 12, Secured Bye week 13
2: Houston (South) - Secured Playoff week 11, Secured Division Title week 12, Secured #2 week 14
3: Cleaved Land (North) - Secured Playoff week 12, Secured Division Title week 14, Secured #3 week 14
4: New Ziggurtland (East) - Secured Playoff week 13, Secured Division Title week 13, Secured #4 week 13
5: Baltimore (North) - Secured Playoff week 12, Secured #5 week 14
6: Tijuana (West) - Secured Playoff week 13, Secured #6 week 14
7: Orkopalis (South) - Secured Playoff week 14, Secured #7 week 14

Las Vegas Evaders, 80 points
(Elven Union - 2220TV)

New York Kroaks, 75 points

(Slann - 1990TV)

Szeattle Scimitars, 72 points
(Dark Elf - 2140TV)

Tampa Neigh Buck'n Beards, 69 points

(Chaos Dwarf - 2390TV)

Houston Treants, 68 points
(Wood Elf - 2580TV)

Cleaved Land Bedlam, 68 points

(Chaos Chosen - 2950TV)

Manglesota Lyc'ns, 65 points
(Necromantic Horror - 2180TV)

Los Angeles Glams, 65 points

(High Elf - 2270TV)

Baltimore Nevermore, 61 points
(Khorne - 1970TV)

ChicagOrkz Borkz, 61 points

(Orc - 2260TV)

Mean Fae Quackers, 60 points
(High Elf - 1880TV)

Tijuana Charros, 58 points

(Nurgle - 2290TV)

New Ziggland Chariots, 53 points
(Chaos Dwarf - 2340TV)

Orkapolis Wargs, 51 points

(Orc - 2020TV)

Average TV: 2250

in 2016 groupings, this is:
5 mutants (Chaos Dwarf, Chaos, Khorne, Nurgle, Chaos Dwarf)
2 bash (Orc, Orc)
1 dead (Necromantic)
1 dash (Slann)
5 elves (Pro Elf, Dark Elf, Wood Elf, High Elf, High Elf)

Joined: Jun 28, 2005

Post   Posted: Nov 26, 2022 - 14:19 Reply with quote Back to top

NBFL Ex-con Playoff Preview: Season 29 Edition

Once again it is playoff time in the NBFL! The switch to the BB2020 ruleset changed some dynamics, but most of it still comes down to coaching skill...maybe with a little luck too! Which team from the AFC will represent the conference with previous victor Denver in a funk all season? Can anyone in the NFC prevent the defending conference AND Super Bowl champion Tampa Neigh (the artist formerly known as the Destroit Lynels) from going back to the big game? Keep on reading to see our latest predictions!


1. New York Kroaks (9-4-1, 75 pts, East winner)
2. Szeattle Scimitars (9-3-2, 72, West winner)
3. Tampa Neigh Buck'n beards (9-2-3, 69 nice, South winner)
4. Manglesota Lyc'ns (8-3-3, 65, North winner)
5. Los Angeles Glams (8-3-3, 65, West)
6. ChicagOrkz Borkz (7-4-3, 61, North)
7. Mean Fae Quackers (6-6-2, 60, North)

The NFC played out exactly as everyone predicted, with the...wait, what? The Kroaks finished in first? And the Lyc'ns won the North?! And the first year Scimitars took the West?!?! Well this is certainly not how the experts drew it up, but the NFC was tightly contested, with the top seed being fought over by several teams during the final two weeks.

NFC Wildcard

(2) Szeattle Scimitars vs (7) Mean Fae Quackers

Congratulations, Nelph! Your reward for taking a first year team and winning both your division and the #2 seed is...an opening round match against Grue! Granted he is also using a first year team as opposed to his tyrannical frogs and OP apes, but still!

Neither team appears to be very deep going into this one, and while Grue will currently get some inducement help, Nelph has some cash banked to induce whatever he desires as well. Of course the real story line of this game is the battle of the two leading backwards passers in the league: Jack Devlin [O] (8 comp for -7 yards) vs Kryten is to Blame! (32 comp for -150 yards, not a typo)! Who will be able to advance backwards into the next round?!

Prediction: Szeattle 3 - 2 Mean Fae (OT)

This will be a fascinating game to watch, likely with several big swings in momentum, wizards, and tough pickups. It is perhaps foolhardy to pick against Grue, but the Scimitars simply have a better team, while Mean Fae may not have all the tools it needs quite yet.


(3) Tampa Neigh Buck'n beards vs (6) ChicagOrkz Borkz

Much to the delight of the other NFC playoff teams, one of these two bullies will be knocked out entirely and the winner will hopefully be beat up in the process! Two coaches that have won Super Bowls face off (indeed, Aste defeated Dash to win his title) early on, and expect this one to be a slug-fest!

Both squads currently sit at 13 players, with Aste gaining some inducements if the TV's hold. However expect both sides to put in some money for some goodies, though one might wonder if in this particular matchup we don't see as much fouling as usual? A tactical foul on a key player like Assiniboine Assisinator [MB] or Gibson ''The Night'' Dork [MzST], sure, but maybe not the array of armored players that both sides wield. Who, if anyone, will be left standing by the end?

Prediction: Tampa Neigh 1 - 2 ChicagOrkz

In what really feels like a toss-up, in the end I went with the team that simply has less Av7 on the field! The Borkz might be able to body-up the Beards, which would either force the hobs to come and assist, or risk the orcs gaining the blocking momentum...in theory, at least.


(4) Manglesota Lyc'ns vs (5) Los Angeles Glams

The surprising Lyc'ns were predicted by some to finish last in the division (yes, even behind the Vamps. Whoops), even if their potential for a .500 season was noted. Well, Manglesota did even better than that, winning their division and a date with Stimme and the Glams in round one.

LA is no stranger to making the playoffs, and they once again have a very solid-looking roster. Currently Mangle has a slight player edge (14:13) and will get some inducements, but both sides have money to spend as well. Can elf-stopper Genome Ratkin [CIN] and co. corral the Glams? Or will the notoriously stronk Hevlin Dodges pull off the usual elven shenanigans?

Prediction: Manglesota 1 - 2 Los Angeles

Counted out before the season and even during it, coach Lorebass can continue to play the 'no one believes in us' card with the locker-room; will the team respond yet again?

NFC Divisional Round

With the actual games previewed, it is time to look at the hypothetical matchups generated by our notoriously unreliable picks!

(1) New York Kroaks vs (6) ChicagOrkz Borkz

Out of all the surprising things that happened during the regular season, the frogs surging to a single-loss record and the top NFC seed was perhaps the most unforeseen. After an almost Thanos-like balanced record of 18/20/18 in prior seasons, did the frogs finally figure things out or merely get lucky?

Well we're about to find out, as their next challenge looks a lot like their previous one: a week 14 match against these very Borkz. Both sides were a bit hesitant, as losing had bad implications, but now the gloves are off. Will the frogs be able to stay on the field long enough to take advantage of the few shots they will get to change the game?

Prediction: New York 0 - 2 ChicagOrkz

Ultimately the Borkz are just a bad matchup for these frogs, and should be able to control the action throughout the match. If only someone in the prior round could give us an assist wink.


(2) Szeattle Scimitars vs (5) Los Angeles Glams

Well, well, looks like we have NFC West rubber match fittingly in the Divisional round. Head to head, Szeattle got a tie and then a win against the rival Glams earlier this season, so is it LA's time to return the favor?

Both sides have a game to play prior to this so the depth, TV, and treasury are all up in the air, but it should be fascinating regardless.

Prediction: Szeattle 1 - 2 Los Angeles

In the end, we believe in Stimme finding a way. Also, he has more rerolls for the second half/OT.

NFC Championship Game

(5) Los Angeles Glams vs (6) ChicagOrkz Borkz

This potential NFC title game features not one, but two teams who overcame the lack of a division title and fought their way through two rounds of higher-seeded contenders to make it here.

Will the elves find a way to deal with the beef n teef wall of the Orcs? Can the greenskins effectively hunt down the stat-up catchers? Who will represent the NFC in the Super Bowl??

Prediction: Los Angeles 1 - 2 ChicagOrkz (OT)

An OT thriller of a championship, but the wall of Stand Firm makes it unlikely for the elves to be able to OTS, drawing out the game long enough for the orcs to grind out a win.



1. Las Vegas Evaders (11-1-2, 80 pts, West winner)
2. Houston Treants (8-4-2, 68, South winner)
3. Cleaved Land Bedlam (8-4-2, 68, North winner)
4. New Ziggland Chariots (5-6-3, 53, East winner)
5. Baltimore Nevermore (7-4-3, 61, North)
6. Tijuana Charros (7-3-4, 58, West)
7. Orkapolis Wargs (6-3-5, 51, South)

Meanwhile in the AFC, we find a much bashier group overall, albeit with the two elven teams at the top. In fact, Las Vegas and Houston played in week 13, with the bye on the line. Armed with a week of rest and the best record in the league, are the Evaders the favorite to win it all? Or will someone rise up and take them down?

AFC Wildcard

(2) Houston Treants vs (7) Orkapolis Wargs

The Wargs are one of four(!) first year teams in the playoffs (Szeattle, Baltimore, and Mean Fae are the others), but find themselves starring down a team that they have already lost to twice this season, giving up three scores in both contests.

Perhaps they can use that experience to glean some information on how to stop the dreaded Baz-dakastine offense? Likewise, can they keep their cage layered off and safe at all times while on offense? Finally, will they be able to use their bountiful inducements to prove that the third time really is the charm?

Prediction: Houston 2 - 1 Orkapolis

Perhaps, but they may just have to settle for only giving up two scores this time. The crucible of the NBFL Playoffs is simply different, and both Houston and coach Baz have shown they have what it takes.


(3) Cleaved Land Bedlam vs (6) Tijuana Charros

The AFC may say that these two teams deserve each other, as Cleaved Land remains as fat as ever, while the Charros are more than happy to cut down and/or stomp teams into the ground (+37 CAS this season). Bedlam are at a mere +20 CAS, perhaps from diversifying their roster to deal with the elven teams that have knocked them out of the playoffs in previous seasons (albeit lizards did it last year).

Regardless, both sides will look to impose their will onto the other, and Cleaved Land is very accustomed to giving up a lot of inducements. Who will emerge from this game looking like Rocky at the end of the first movie?

Prediction: Cleaved Land 1 - 2 Tijuana

The swing factor in this one is that the Chaos don't have the treasury to buy much, and without a counter-wizard, the slightest edge goes to the Nurgle. Down with the undivided! Pick a side already!


(4) New Ziggland Chariots vs (5) Baltimore Nevermore

The final AFC matchup features a team that always proves the doubters wrong in the Chariots, vs a team that people were intrigued by but cautious to believe in all season in Baltimore. But the low TV Khorne have gotten the job done all year, and are still getting hundreds of inducements despite New Ziggy currently missing a Bull for the game (albeit a rookie)!

It will be exciting to see both teams block, frenzy, blitz, frenzy-trap, foul, and simply scrap with each other for 16 turns! Meanwhile, the important Trayveon Williams [EnM] must be protected for the Khorne side, while the Charriots have a more diverse attack with three potential carriers. Who will the haters have to shut up about after this one is over?

Prediction: New Ziggland 2 - 1 Baltimore

As much as it pains me to both pick Ziggy AND pick against Khorne (as the OG nbfl khorne player, for bett...no it was just for worse), the margin for error for Baltimore is simply slimmer due to only having one real ball carrier. Neither team has many rerolls (for some reason), but having the extra agility could be the biggest difference in a close game.

AFC Divisional Round

We look to the future again, stepping into the multiverse or whatever they're going on about these days.

(1) Las Vegas Evaders vs (6) Tijuana Charros

The Charros, after punching their way through a 3000 TV Chaos team, find themselves facing off against the top seeded Evaders as a reward for their efforts. No rest for the wicked, ey?

Since joining the league last season, Las Vegas and Tijuana are 1-2-1 against each other, with the sides splitting the games this season. Interestingly enough, the only two losses on Vegas's resume this season came against Nurgle squads (Titannesse being the other)! Might they find something during film study over the bye week to make sure it doesn't happen again?

Prediction: Las Vegas 1 - 0 Tijuana

What they discover is that it helps to have your opponent face a 3000 TV Chaos team the round before, leaving them (likely) without a key piece or two for this game.


(2) Houston Treants vs (4) New Ziggland Chariots

Both teams are coming off of games against bruisers (orcs for Houston, khorne for Ziggy), but when you are one game away from the AFC championship, you suck it up, rub some dirt on it, and get back out there!

This could be a fascinating battle where positioning is of the utmost importance, from making sure you don't get outflanked by the Baz-daka offense to deciding when to take your big swing turn at the ball on elf defense. One factor that can't be overlooked, however, is the lack of skills like Stand Firm to prevent a possible elven OTS.

Prediction: Houston 2 - 1 New Ziggland

Losing a Bull Centaur partway through the season might be too much to overcome, as one needs all hands (hooves?) on deck to stop the 'Daka'. Rest assured, Ziggy will fight like hell the entire time, though!

AFC Championship

(1) Las Vegas Evaders vs (2) Houston Treants

Unlike the other conference, the AFC has no cinderellas as their top two seeds flex their relative muscles and fight their way to the conference title game!

A rematch of that pivotal week 13 game, will Houston be able to turn the tables this time? Or will the Evaders prove to be too elusive?

Prediction: Las Vegas 1 - 2 Houston

In close games like this, sometimes you just gotta go with the team that has the best player. In this case, that would be Stan "the Man" Jones {MD}, who is looking to cement his place in league history with a third title.


NBFL Super Bowl 29

After months of work, between the draft, the metagaming, the boots, the snakes, the glory, the infamy, and everything inbetween, we finally arrive at the Super Bowl!!

ChicagOrkz Borkz vs Houston Treants

Aste and Baz were division rivals in the AFC South for several seasons, smack talking each other while winning three straight Super Bowls combined (26 for Aste, 27 and 28 for Baz)!

The time has finally come to answer the age old question: was it more impressive to win back to back titles with Woodies, or win a single title with rookie Norse??!


Both sides whip out their respective impressive arguments, clashing them together with reverberations that could be heard in the next apartment over!

They go at it for hours, thrilling a crowd of envious onlookers!

The two sides, exhausted but evenly matched, steel themselves for one final thrust that will decide everything!

Prediction: ChicagOrkz Borkz 2 - 1 Houston Treants (OT)

In the end, the big, green, meaty orcs are too much even for the emissaries of the hard wood!

Butthurt beyond comprehension, Baz swears his revenge and switches to the 'Big Bone', aka Tomb Kings!

Having spent everything he had, Aste fails to get up for next season and is subjected to pounding after pounding; eventually he switches races to Amazons, perhaps inspired by getting dominated too often!

NBFL Super Bowl 29 Champions: ChicagOrkz Borkz

There you have it folks! Yet another set of playoff predictions that will ultimately prove false! Best of luck to everyone in the tournament!

Part of the NCBB and the NBFL.

Don't drop the soap.
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