Nelphine
Joined: Apr 01, 2011
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 Posted:
May 04, 2023 - 14:55 |
 
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With week 12 in full swing, we take a look at the playoff race - not the hard unalterable facts, but rather.. the wishes, the dreams, the forlorn Hope's!
The race for the bye:
NFC
Three teams have a shot at this:
Szeattle, 76 points
ChicagOrkz, 69 points
Mean Fae, 62 points
- All 3 have 2 games left
Mean Fae needs to win both games, Szeattle to lose both games, and then have the tiebreakers. Not impossible, but a daunting task.
ChicagOrkz needs to win 1 game, Szeattle to lose 1 game, and then do better than Szeattle in the last game. Or, win 2 games, and have Szeattle win 0 games.
Anything else, Szeattle has the bye.
AFC
Omg what are you guys DOING in AFC?? There are 46 teams still able to win the bye!
Orklapolis, 55 points, 3 games left
Houston, 54 points, 3 games left
Tijuana, 53 points, 2 games left
No-Skincinnati, 51 points, 2 games left
Cleaved Land, 47 points, 3 games left
There are so many permutations for this, not even I am going to list them all out. Also, I'm on a bus and it's annoying to switch tabs. Suffice to say, AFC is fixing for.. who knows what.
If Orkapolis wins all 3, they get the bye.
If they draw 1 and win 2, they get the bye.
If Orkapolis win 2, and lose 1, then:
- if Houston beat Orkopalis, win at least 1 other game, and dont lose their last match, Houston gets the bye
- otherwise, Orkapolis gets the bye
If Orkapolis draw 2 and win 1, then Houston can win if they win 2 and draw Orkapolis.
- otherwise, Orkapolis gets the bye
If Orkapolis draw 1 and win 1
- if Houston wins at least 2, they get the bye (they have tiebreaker over Cleaved Land)
- if Houston wins 1 and gets 2 draws, then:
- - if Cleaved Land wins all 3, Cleaved Land gets the bye
- - if Cleaved doesn't win at least 1, then:
- - - if Tijuana wins 2, Tijuana and Houston use tiebreakers for the bye
- - otherwise Houston gets the bye
- If Houston has at most 1 win and at least 1 loss, then:
- - if Cleaved Land wins all 3, Cleaved Land gets the bye
- - if Cleaved doesn't win at least 1, then:
- - - if Tijuana wins 2, Tijuana gets the bye
- - otherwise Orkapolis gets the bye (they have tiebreaker over No-Skincinnati)
If Orkapolis draw 3
- to be continued... maybe
If Orkapolis win 1 and lose 2
If Orkapolis draw 2 and lose 1
If Orkapolis draw 1 and lose 2
If Orkapolis lose all 3 |
Last edited by Nelphine on %b %05, %2023 - %23:%May; edited 3 times in total |
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Nelphine
Joined: Apr 01, 2011
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| Posted:
May 05, 2023 - 00:46 |
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Next up, divisional titles!
NFC East:
- Still a 3 way race here, although the Kroaks have a not entirely commanding lead
New York Kroaks (41 points)
Witchington Commies (36 points)
Dallas Crowbar (26 points)
NFC North:
- These 2 teams play each other in week 13, so that could be the title decider!
ChicagOrkz Borkz (69 points, only 2 games left)
Mean Fae Quackers (62 points, only 2 games left)
NFC South:
... All four are still in it. This is almost as bad as the AFC!
Atlanta Atrocities (48 points)
Clampa Bay Robotineers (43 points, only 2 games left)
NOLA Powers From Above (38 points)
Khornolina Black Hats (30 points)
NFC West:
- The only division with their title already decided
Szeattle Scimitars (76 points, only 2 games left)
AFC East:
- A 3 way race continues here, and there isn't a clear front runner
Buffalo Chill (40 points, only 2 games left)
New Ziggland Chariots (39 points, only 2 games left)
Brew More Gents (30 points, only 2 games left)
AFC North:
- Despite a third team being within 21 points, these 2 play each other, so no matter the result, one of these 2 get the title
No-Skincinnati Bungles (51 points, only 2 games left)
Cleaved Land Bedlam (47 points)
AFC South:
- 2 teams, almost neck and neck, and they have yet to play! That game could make or break the division
Orkapolis Wargs (55 points)
Houston Treants (54 points)
AFC West:
- 2 teams still in the running, but one of them is a mile ahead and unlikely to falter now
Tijuana Charros (53 points, only 2 games left)
Kansas City Geese (33 points) |
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Nelphine
Joined: Apr 01, 2011
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| Posted:
May 05, 2023 - 22:51 |
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Finally, in both conferences, there is fierce competition for the number 7 wild card playoff spot.
First, a quick look at the other wild card spots. In NFC, Mean Fae Quackers and Los Angeles Glams are miles ahead of the remaining wild card contenders. In AFC, Cleaved Land Bedlam and Houston Treants are ahead. These 4 teams, or their divisional rivals (ChicagOrkz Borkz, No-Skincinnati Bungles, and Orkapolis Wargs) will probably hold the 5 and 6 wild card spots for each conference.
So, number 7:
NFC
Note: These teams will also include both the NFC East and NFC South division titles.
Atlanta Atrocities (48 points)
Clampa Bay Robotineers (43 points, 2 games left)
New York Kroaks (41 points)
Trans-Fat Crisco Porky Diners (41 points)
NOLA Powers From Above (38 points)
Witchington Commies (36 points)
Outside contenders
Manglesota Lyc'ns (34 points, 2 games left)
Khornolina Black Hats (30 points)
Detroit Riots [NBFL] (30 points)
Dallas Crowbar (26 points)
AFC
Note: These teams will also include the AFC East division title.
Buffalo Chill (40 points, 2 games left)
New Ziggland Chariots (39 points, 2 games left)
Kansas City Geese (33 points)
Jakesonville Jortles (32 points)
Pittsburgh Pirouettes (31 points)
Outside contenders:
Brew More Gents (30 points, 2 games left)
Las Vegas Evaders (29 points)
Floridaman Drunkfinns (19 points)
Denver Brontos (19 points) |
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Nelphine
Joined: Apr 01, 2011
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| Posted:
May 07, 2023 - 04:49 |
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Week 12. Be within 1 win, or, lose all hope ye who enter here!
NFC
1 (76 VP): Szeattle Scimitars (NFC West), secured playoff spot week 11, secured division title week 12
2 (69 VP): ChicagOrkz Borkz (NFC North), secured playoff spot week 11
3 (55 VP): Atlanta Atrocities (NFC South)
4 (48 VP): New York Kroaks (NFC East)
5 (62 VP): Mean Fae Quackers (NFC North), secured playoff spot week 12
6 (54 VP): Los Angeles Glams (NFC West)
7 (45 VP): NOLA Powers From Above (NFC South)
43 VP: Clampa Bay Robotineers (NFC South)
43 VP: Witchington Commies (NFC East)
41 VP: Trans-Fat Crisco Porky Diners (NFC West)
34 VP: Manglesota Lyc'ns (NFC North)
33 VP: Dallas Crowbar (NFC East)
30 VP: Detroit Riots [NBFL] (NFC North)
30 VP: Khornalina Black Hats (NFC South)
16 VP: Illadelph Sunshine (NFC East)
9 VP: Arizona Redbulls (NFC West)
AFC
1 (62 VP): Orkapolis Wargs (AFC South), secured playoff spot week 11
2 (54 VP): Cleaved Land Bedlam (AFC North), secured playoff spot week 12
3 (53 VP): Tijuana Charros (AFC West)
4 (40 VP): Buffalo Chill (AFC East)
5 (54 VP): Houston Treants (AFC South), secured playoff spot week 11
6 (51 VP): No-Skincinnati Bungles (AFC North), secured playoff spot week 12
7 (40 VP): Kansas City Geese (AFC West)
39 VP: New Ziggland Chariots (AFC East)
36 VP: Las Vegas Evaders (AFC West)
32 VP: Jakesonville Jortles (AFC South)
31 VP: Pittsburgh Pirouettes (AFC North)
30 VP: Brew More Gents (AFC East)
21 VP: Titannesse Kraken's (AFC South)
20 VP: Baltimore Nevermore (AFC North)
19 VP: Denver Brontos (AFC West)
19 VP: Floridaman Drunkfinns (AFC East) |
Last edited by Nelphine on %b %14, %2023 - %06:%May; edited 1 time in total |
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wintergreen13
Joined: Apr 10, 2011
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| Posted:
May 12, 2023 - 08:06 |
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NBFL Season XXX Week 11
Here at DotW headquarters we feel it is our job to, um, *mumbling* monetize our brand. And in the spirit of this bold new direction, we are going to be innovating with lots of the features that tweenz and teenz love: listicles, viral whatchamacallits, soap bucket challenges, reader polls, and awards! This week we are handing out a brand new award that we like to call the Andre Tippett Memorial Mutilated Team Award (ATMMTA). To win this prestigious hunk of iron you need to show a real team-wide commitment to death. Like the lemmings that Disney scared into running over a cliff back in the 50s, thus forever tainting our collective understanding of these cute little fellas and inspiring one of the best computer games of the 90s, the entire corps needs to put in the work of self-immolation. This week’s inaugural award goes to knine and the Khornolina Black Hats, who sent 3 players to their eternal slumber in week 11, including KC D’Brickshaw, an absolute unit and the powerhouse of the team. Once customs clears this thing I’m 72% sure you’ll find it waiting on your doorstep in 6-31 months.
Ooooooh ad time! What advertising poetry will we be graced with this time? This week’s DotW is brought to you by Bloodweiser: the Baron of Beers.
Uh… all it says is “It’s beer. You want beer. So drink this beer.â€
Short and to the point, but I'd be lying if I said I wasn't thirsty now. Damn ads, you’ve worked your black magic on me yet again!
Dead of the Week
KC D'Brickashaw: Khornolina bloodspawn; Break Tackle, Block, Tackle, Guard, Stand Firm
GRM Reaper: Khornolina bloodseeker; Block
Hubert Cuthroy [O]: Khornolina khorngor; Dodge, Wrestle, Leap, Strip Ball
Jeremy Ruckert [BRO]: New York linefrog; Block, Guard
Jonathan Hankins: Dallas troll slayer; Guard, Stand Firm
Adrian Claymore: Denver saurus; Block, Dodge, Guard, Tackle, Diving Tackle
Alejandro Gregor: Denver skink; Diving Tackle
Death of the Week: Back in the saddle again / riding down that lonesome road / to the… uh… house I love so muuuuuch / the MORGUE (heavy metal riffing). Back in top form, Denver sent another saurus to sleep with the fishes this week. A blodging, diving tackling, guarding sumbitch, Adrian Claymore was one of the few surviving saurii left on a Denver team that has been hacked down into a nub of its former self over the last two seasons. Will Denver soldier on as the final refuge for Lizardmen in a ruleset that is quite unkind to them? Only time (and end of season PMs) will tell!
Maimed of the Week
Rooney “Save Our Last Goodbye†Dork: ChicagOrkz bubby (-AV); Block, Guard, Stand Firm
Jeffro the Dancing Goon: Mean Fae lineman (-PA); no skills
Thwunk: Clampa Bay halfling (-AV); no skills
Edward Hotsnake: Dallas longbeard (-ST); Guard
Cooper Rush: Dallas longbeard (-MA); Guard, Mighty Blow
Champ Bailey III: Witchington blitzer (-AV); Jump Up
Dave Brown [DUKE]: Jakesonville gutter runner (-MA): +ST, Block, Side Step, Fend, Tackle, Diving Tackle
Dawson Poscidion [TTRR]: Baltimore bloodseeker (-AG); Block, Guard, Mighty Blow
Linarit Ghulen: Las Vegas lineman (-ST); no skills
Dick LeBeau: Buffalo lineman (-AG); no skills
Davon Godchaux: New Zig dwarf blocker (-AV); Juggernaut
Total NI this week: 18
Total MNG this week: 17 |
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Nelphine
Joined: Apr 01, 2011
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| Posted:
May 14, 2023 - 05:09 |
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Week 13 is here, and the race for the playoffs is getting extremely tight!
NFC
1 (79 VP): Szeattle Scimitars (NFC West), secured playoff spot week 11, secured division title week 12
2 (76 VP): ChicagOrkz Borkz (NFC North), secured playoff spot week 11, secured division title week 13
3 (52 VP): NOLA Powers From Above (NFC South)
4 (51 VP): New York Kroaks (NFC East)
5 (62 VP): Mean Fae Quackers (NFC North), secured playoff spot week 12
6 (61 VP): Los Angeles Glams (NFC West), secured playoff spot week 13
7 (50 VP): Clampa Bay Robotineers (NFC South)
46 VP: Witchington Commies (NFC East)
The bye for the NFC will go to Szeattle (against Los Angeles) if ChicagOrkz (against Detroit) does the same or worse; if ChicagOrkz does better, it will go to ChicagOrkz. (If Szeattle loses and ChicagOrkz draw, the conference record will be tied at 7-2-1, and ChicagOrkz will have a 5-1-0 division record vs Szeattle with 4-1-1)
If Atlanta (against NOLA and Manglesota) win either match or draw NOLA or NOLA draw Clampa Bay, Atlanta get the South division title. If they lose both or draw against Manglesota, and NOLA (against Clampa Bay and Atlanta) win both, NOLA gets the South division title. If Atlanta loses both, and Clampa Bay (against NOLA) win, Clampa Bay gets the South division title.
If Kroaks (against Trans-Fat Crisco) win, they get the East division title. If Kroaks tie or lose, and Witchington (against Dallas and Arizona) win both, or if Kroaks lose and Witchington ties one and wins one, Witchington gets the East division title
For Witchington (against Arizona) to make the playoffs, they need to win, and Clampa (against NOLA) to not win - Witchington would have the tiebreaker 5-3-2 if Clampa draws to 4-5-2. But if NOLA wins and draws, or wins both, then NOLA still beats Witchington.
48 VP: Atlanta Atrocities (NFC South)
41 VP: Trans-Fat Crisco Porky Diners (NFC West)
36 VP: Dallas Crowbar (NFC East)
34 VP: Manglesota Lyc'ns (NFC North)
33 VP: Detroit Riots [NBFL] (NFC North)
33 VP: Khornalina Black Hats (NFC South)
19 VP: Illadelph Sunshine (NFC East)
12 VP: Arizona Redbulls (NFC West)
AFC
1 (62 VP): Orkapolis Wargs (AFC South), secured playoff spot week 11
2 (61 VP): Cleaved Land Bedlam (AFC North), secured playoff spot week 12, secured division title week 13
3 (60 VP): Tijuana Charros (AFC West), secured playoff spot week 13, secured division title week 13
4 (47 VP): Buffalo Chill (AFC East)
5 (61 VP): Houston Treants (AFC South), secured playoff spot week 11
6 (51 VP): No-Skincinnati Bungles (AFC North), secured playoff spot week 12
7 (46 VP): New Ziggland Chariots (AFC East)
40 VP: Kansas City Geese (AFC West)
The bye for the AFC goes to Orkapolis if they win either against Titannesse or against Baltimore. If Orkapolis ties both games, and Cleaved Land (against No-Skincinnati) wins, Cleaved Land will have the tiebreaker (6-2-2 vs 4-4-2) and will get the bye.
Whichever of Buffalo or New Ziggland does better in their match wins the East division title; if they have the same result, Buffalo wins the division.
If KC wins and Buffalo loses, KC has the tiebreaker over Buffalo (conference record would be : 4-4-2 for KC and 3-3-4 for Buffalo).
So for KC to get in, they need to win (against Tijuana), and either Buffalo (against Denver) or New Ziggland (against Las Vegas) to lose.
36 VP: Las Vegas Evaders (AFC West)
34 VP: Pittsburgh Pirouettes (AFC North)
33 VP: Brew More Gents (AFC East)
32 VP: Jakesonville Jortles (AFC South)
28 VP: Titannesse Kraken's (AFC South)
23 VP: Baltimore Nevermore (AFC North)
22 VP: Denver Brontos (AFC West)
19 VP: Floridaman Drunkfinns (AFC East) |
Last edited by Nelphine on %b %19, %2023 - %16:%May; edited 1 time in total |
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Nelphine
Joined: Apr 01, 2011
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| Posted:
May 18, 2023 - 00:48 |
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As week 14 starts, we look at what the NFC playoffs will be!
NFC
--------------------------------------------------------
1. The bye, West Division Title
86 VP, 11 wins, 3 draws, 0 losses:
Szeattle Scimitars
(Dark Elf - 2190TV)
Nelphine
--------------------------------------------------------
2. North Division Title
83 VP, 11 wins, 2 draws, 1 loss
ChicagOrkz Borkz
(Orc - 2570TV)
asteflix
vs
7.
53 VP, 5 wins, 6 draws, 3 losses:
Witchington Commies
(Dark Elf - 2080TV)
Garcangel
--------------------------------------------------------
3. South Division Title
59 VP, 8 wins, 1 draw, 5 losses
NOLA Powers From Above
(Elven Union - 2390TV)
BillBrasky
vs
6.
61 VP, 7 wins, 4 draws, 3 losses
Los Angeles Glams
(High Elf - 1780TV)
Stimme
--------------------------------------------------------
4. East Division Title
58 VP, 7 wins, 3 draws, 4 losses
New York Kroaks
(Slann - 2300TV)
ex-convict
vs
5.
69 VP, 9 wins, 2 draws, 3 losses
Mean Fae Quackers
(High Elf - 2070TV)
happygrue
-------------------------------------------------------- |
Last edited by Nelphine on %b %24, %2023 - %05:%May; edited 7 times in total |
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Nelphine
Joined: Apr 01, 2011
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| Posted:
May 19, 2023 - 17:23 |
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And now for the AFC!
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The bye.. is complicated and messy. 4 teams are within 2 points of each other. Win, make sure your competition doesn't win. Orkapolis, Houston, Tijuana, and Cleaved Land all have a shot - if any of them do better than all 3 of the others, that one gets the bye. On an equal result, Orkapolis has it over any of the others; Houston and Cleaved Land have more points than Tijuana; Houston has the head to head over Cleaved Land. These 4 teams will get #1, #2, #3, and #5, however it shakes out.
With only 1 point less, if Houston does better than Orkapolis, Houston gets the division, and Orkapolis gets #5. If they get the same result, or Orkapolis does better, Orkapolis gets the division, and Houston gets #5.
With one game left we have 3 possibilities:
If Houston wins, they get the division and the bye. Then Tijuana gets #2, Cleaved #3, and Orkapolis #5.
If Houston draws, they get the division. Tijuana gets the bye, Houston gets #2, Cleaved #3, and Orkapolis #5.
If Houston loses, Orkapolis gets the division. Tijuana gets the bye, Cleaved Land gets #2, Orkapolis #3, and Houston gets #5.
--------------------------------------------------------
1. The bye, South Division Title
68 VP, 8 wins, 4 draws, 2 losses
Houston Treants
(Wood Elf - 2040TV)
Bazakastine
--------------------------------------------------------
2. West Division Title
67 VP, 7 wins, 6 draws, 1 loss
Tijuana Charros
(Nurgle - 2300TV)
Amon242
vs
7.
49 VP, 4 wins, 7 draws, 3 losses
New Ziggland Chariots
(Chaos Dwarf - 1420TV)
Wolvezzz
--------------------------------------------------------
3. North Division Title
64 VP, 7 wins, 5 draws, 2 losses
Cleaved Land Bedlam
(Chaos Chosen - 2550TV)
Captainmalkor
vs
6.
54 VP, 6 wins, 4 draws, 4 losses
No-Skincinnati Bungles
(Tomb Kings - 2350TV)
Dutchlife
--------------------------------------------------------
4. East Division Title
54 VP, 6 wins, 4 draws, 4 losses
Buffalo Chill
(Dark Elf - 2380TV)
Jeffro
vs
5.
62 VP, 8 wins, 2 draws, 4 losses
Orkapolis Wargs
(Orc - 2260TV)
Xelron
-------------------------------------------------------- |
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ex-convict
Joined: Jun 28, 2005
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| Posted:
May 26, 2023 - 04:10 |
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NBFL Ex-con Playoff Preview: Season 30
The Tournament of Tournaments is here once again! Fourteen teams have claimed their spot and will now compete to win the Super Bowl title! Can the undefeated Scimitars keep up their blessed run? Will the two Orc teams continue to bomb their way to victory? And will anyone remember that the defending champion Bedlam are still lurking??
NFC Conference
1. Szeattle Scimitars // 11-3-0, 86 pts // Dark Elf // Nelphine // West
After taking a rookie Dark Elf team to the NFC Championship last season, coach Nelphine followed things up by emerging through this campaign unbeaten and claimed the top seed in the process. Led by matchup nightmare Seth B [BALL], who is supported by an odd but diverse cadre of players, the Scimitars will attempt to keep that 'zero' at the end of the record for at least three more games.
2. ChicagOrkz Borkz // 11-2-1, 83 // Ork // Asteflix // North
In almost any other season, 83 points would give you the bye in your conference, but the Borkz will have to settle for the 2nd seed and an extra game. But when you have a dynamite roster with nine Guard, seven Mighty Blow, and an assortment of other tools and key Stat upgrades, what's one extra opponent?
3. NOLA Powers From Above // 8-1-5, 59 // Pro Elf // BillBrasky // South
Coach Brasky seems to have found his groove again after trudging through middling seasons with Chaos Pact, and has been elfing people left and right since halfway through last season. With somewhat of a boom-or-bust playstyle (only one tie), NOLA has proven to be a problem when they can force the opposition to put the ball on the ground.
4. New York Kroaks // 7-3-4, 58 // Slann // ex-convict // East
The Kroaks had come back down to earth hard after a blessed run to the top NFC seed last season, sitting at 1-1-4 heading into a Week 7 match against division rival Dallas. But star Blitzer Benjas Darrama [UNAM] killed acclaimed Dwarf Runner Chad Henne [Jax], and the apparent blood sacrifice pleased the Old Ones, because the Frogs have not lost since.
5. Mean Fae Quackers // 9-2-3, 69 nice // High Elf // happygrue // North
Making the playoffs for a second straight season behind a dynamic (?) backwards-passing game, the Quackers are ready to ruffle some feathers this time around. Giving coach Grue some inducements seems like a bad idea!
6. Los Angeles Glams // 7-4-3, 61 // High Elf // Stimme // West
The Glams are a perennial playoff contender, combining awesome players and impressive coaching. Similarly to the Quackers, LA will have to take the long road to the title but should be getting inducement help along the way.
7. Witchington Commies // 5-6-3, 53 // Dark Elf // Garcangel // East
The Commies claimed the final playoff spot ("our" spot) in their inaugural season, proving to be feisty as they only lost three games all year. Led by the contributions of "We have Seth B at home", Witchington will have their hands full with their first postseason opponent.
NFC Wildcard Round
(2) ChicagOrkz Borkz vs (7) Witchington Commies
Because that opponent is the mean, green wall known as the Borkz. Being a first year team, the Commies don't have a ton of tools to deal with the well-developed Orcs, so their only path to victory is likely from a fortunate eldril and/or wizard turn where they can steal the ball away.
Prediction: ChicagOrkz 2 - 1 Witchington
Even if the inducements can lead to a scoop-and-score, the Borkz are good enough to essentially win the rest of the turns and thus the game.
-----
(3) NOLA Powers From Above vs (6) Los Angeles Glams
While an Elf battle on paper, this game is actually a clash of styles between one team that wants to get into a chaotic track meet (NOLA) and one that wants a controlled chess match (LA). The Pro Elves are in their element when things are frantic (26 TD for / 19 against / 13 games) while the High Elves prefer a calculated victory (20 TD for / 13 against / 14 games). Whether you win a game 3:2 or 2:1 ultimately matters not, but which team will end up victorious?
Prediction: NOLA 2 : 3 Los Angeles
Unfortunately for coach Brasky, the Glams are certainly capable of winning a shoot-out as well as a more grindy game. Plus, LA's two Mighty Blow Blitzers will probably enjoy this match against Av7 Elves.
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(4) New York Kroaks vs (5) Mean Fae Quackers
The Kroak's second half surge earned them a date with the Quackers in the first round of the playoffs, a team that they tied 1-1 a season ago. But Mean Fae has a Frenzy player and more Guard this time around, plus some assistance from inducements; will it be enough to stop the streaking Frogs?
Prediction: New York 2 - 1 Mean Fae
Something, something, Great Plan?
NFC Divisional Round
(1) Szeattle Scimitars vs (6) Los Angeles Glams
The two NFC West rivals meet again! Having just played each other in the season finale, the Glams will have to earn a rematch against the Scimitars. But since coach Nelphine moved to Szeattle two seasons ago, he is 3-1-0 against coach Stimme! Can LA hand their rival their first loss, both head-to-head and this season at the same time??
Prediction: Szeattle 2 - 1 Los Angeles (OT)
Though this game will ultimately go into Overtime, nothing has fundamentally changed about this matchup to suggest LA will change their fortune against their Dark Elf rivals!
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(2) ChicagOrkz Borkz vs (4) New York Kroaks
Facing another NFC North team (their third in two seasons), the Kroaks will need an even Greater Plan if they hope to leap out of this game with a victory. The Borkz can diminish the effectiveness of sacker Bob Kuechenberg [Miami] simply by having the illustrious Gibson ''The Night'' Dork [MzST] carry as he usually does!
Prediction: ChicagOrkz 1 - 0 New York
New York would need a Lord Kroak level of wizard to crack open the Orc cage, and they may not even get to have one in the match. Coach Aste and his well-built Green Machine move on!
NFC Championship Game
(1) Szeattle Scimitars vs (2) ChicagOrkz Borkz
While it isn't fun to predict the chalky title game, Szeattle and ChicagOrkz were far superior to the rest of the conference, each winning at least 11 games. They appear to be on a collision course in what should be an epic game!
Prediction: Szeattle 2 - 1 ChicagOrkz
While we believe that coach Aste has the best team in the NFC, and he doesn't have a natural predator like last season (wildcard vs Dash), trying to go through three straight agility teams that might have wizards will probably catch up with him somewhere. And coach Nelphine is enough of a lucker to where it will probably be in their game!
-----
AFC Conference
1. Houston Treants // 8-4-2, 68 pts // Wood Elf // Bazakastine // South
The Treants took care of business the last few rounds and ended up with the top AFC seed, and once again look to be loaded. Speed, agility, Stan, and...a dirty player? Watch out for the 'daka' once again.
2. Tijuana Charros // 7-6-1, 67 // Nurgle // Amon242 // West
The Charros are not to be underestimated, winning the tough West division and only dropping a single game all season. In a much more balanced spread of styles than the NFC bracket, Tijuana has the tools to deal with the Bash and the Ball of the AFC. Whether they will have enough to go through three straight rounds after losing a Pestigor late in the season remains to be seen, however.
3. Cleaved Land Bedlam // 7-5-2, 64 // Chaos // captainmalkor // North
The Defending Champs quietly advanced through the regular season, never truly dominating yet also rarely losing either. Still an absurdly large team, TV wise, when healthy, the Bedlam cannot be counted out as long as their core trio of Beasto, Beastly, and Matthews are still around.
4. Buffalo Chill // 6-4-4, 54 // Dark Elf // Jeffro // East
Arguably the strangest team in the league, the Chill give no shits and lend no quarter. Seemingly armed with a legion of Dark Elven-vampires, Buffalo was second in the league in Touchdowns scored (29), yet first in worst Block differential (-20 per game, one of only two giving up more than -12 per game). Thus the question is whether the few blocks they do throw lead to touchdowns, because they are so difficult to keep down.
5. Orkapolis Wargs // 8-2-4, 62 // Orc // Xelron // South
The Wargs have now made the playoffs both seasons in Orkapolis, and were certainly problematic for teams to deal with this year. Led by star Blitzer Dean Colvard [UNCC], these Orcs are ready to improve on just making the wildcard last campaign.
6. No-Skincinnati Bungles // 6-4-4, 54 // Tomb Kings // Dutchlife // North
The Curse of .500 is broken! Or was it sub-.500? Either way, the Bungles finally got over the hump and claimed a playoff spot after years of trying. Now that they are in the big dance, what kind of damage can they do, both literally and figuratively?
7. New Zigguratland Chariots // 4-7-3, 49 // Chaos Dwarf // Wolvezzz // East
The Chariots limped into the tournament despite one broken wheel, a missing driver, a dead horse (or whatever was dragging the chariot), and a decimated roster. Armed with no Bull Centaurs, only five Blockers, and what appears to be the best randoms-only Hobgoblin in history.
AFC Wildcard Round
(2) Tijuana Charros vs (7) New Zigguratland Chariots
Fortunately the Chariots will also be getting a lot of inducement help for this game. Which stars will we see show up? Morg? Glart? Hak? Borak? The Bomber? The possibilities are endless!...probably. Regardless of who and/or what New Ziggy uses, they'll have to get a lot of things to go right to pull off the upset here.
Prediction: Tijuana 2 - 1 New Zigguratland (OT)
And boy, will they get close to doing so. Taking the game to OT, the Chariots take advantage of the relative lack of depth that the Charros bring to the table, letting them compete each drive. However the good players that coach Amon has at his disposal are excellent, and they prove to be the difference in this rock-fight.
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(3) Cleaved Land Bedlam vs (6) No-Skincinnati Bungles
Well now, we get an immediate rematch on the AFC side of the bracket! In Week 14 these two played to a 0-0 tie, beating each other up in the process. Ironically, even though the Bungles took out more important players than they lost, they end up costing themselves valuable inducements in doing so! Still, the missing players were quite good, and losing any more of the three remaining Warriors could lead to relative board control for No-Skincinnati!
Prediction: Cleaved Land 2 - 1 No-Skincinnati (OT)
I was very closing to calling this one the other way, because this looks to truly be a toss-up game. With a wizard in hand, the Bungles are going to give the defending champs absolutely hell in a slug-fest. But when the chips are down, the Chaos have more ways to make a dynamic play and that could very well be the difference.
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(4) Buffalo Chill vs (5) Orkapolis Wargs
While no less fascinating than the previous two matchups, this game feels destined to follow one of two scripts: 'Script A' has the Wargs decimating the ranks of the Chill, playing fundamentally sound, and winning the game as Buffalo rolls an absurd number of dodge dice but can't quite complete long sequences. 'Script B' has the Wargs decimating the ranks of the Chill, but the game breaks down from an organized Orc-grind as the Dark Elves constantly harry and harass in the open field, finding a way to steal the game with just a handful of players left. So which way does this movie go?
Prediction: Buffalo 1 - 2 Orkapolis
Ultimately I would be afraid of a short-kick + Blitz, wizard, or some other game-alerting turn giving Buffalo the chance they need to win the game, but I am not going to bet on it.
AFC Divisional Round
(1) Houston Treants vs (5) Orkapolis Wargs
Yet another clash of division foes, but here we find Houston and Orkapolis needing to break the tie of their season series after splitting the two games. Each somehow managed a 1-0 victory, showing that the margin between the two is likely much smaller than the difference in their seeding would suggest. Who's style will ultimately win out?
Prediction: Houston 1 - 0 Orkapolis
Fittingly the game will finish with the same score as the other two, but the Agility and Movement across the board for Houston makes the difference.
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(2) Tijuana Charros vs (3) Cleaved Land Bedlam
A rematch of last season's brutal wild card battle that was eventually decided by coin toss, the Charros were left to ponder what could have been if they had emerged victorious as they watched the Bedlam go on to win the title. But they can earn a measure of revenge here in the Divisional round, in what promises to be an exciting Part II between these squads!
Prediction: Tijuana 1 - 2 Cleaved Land
This is yet another game that could go either way, but Cleaved Land is a proven playoff veteran squad while Tijuana has yet to get the job done when it matters most. Could that difference in experience by the difference?
AFC Championship Game
(1) Houston Treants vs (3) Cleaved Land Bedlam
These two AFC powers also faced off in last season's playoffs in what appears to be a recurring theme. The difference, this time, could be that while Houston has only had to play one game thanks to getting the Bye, Cleaved Land would have had three games in a row against Tomb Kings, Tomb Kings, and Nurgle. Ouch.
Prediction: Houston 2 - 1 Cleaved Land
Also, you know, Houston won this matchup earlier this season, whilst throwing a paltry 15 blocks!
"Not bad." - Garc, probably.
NBFL Super Bowl 30
The Big Game!
Szeattle Scimitars vs Houston Treants
We've come a long way since the Chaos mirror match Super Bowl from Season 24! Though it must pain people to see both top seeds projected to win their respective conferences, such is the power of having the bye!
Also, these are two outstanding teams and coaches! We cannot assume that either side will get here unscathed, but an Elf battle will be fascinating regardless.
Prediction: Szeattle 3 - 2 Houston
Fine, I admit it: this is the first prediction this Preview that I don't actually believe in. But I also don't want Nelphine to complete an unbeaten season and/or win a title, so I'm using the power of the Ex-con Curse to stop him! Muahaha!
Hope you enjoyed this season's Playoff Preview article! Hopefully you were able to catch the Twitch Broadcast either live or afterwards! |
_________________
Part of the NCBB and the NBFL.
Don't drop the soap. |
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T_Witch
Joined: Sep 01, 2008
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| Posted:
May 29, 2023 - 04:29 |
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You called the CLE vs. CIN wildcard game perfectly.
Slugfest, OT, won by a dynamic play...only thing off is I denied him a wizard. |
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ex-convict
Joined: Jun 28, 2005
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| Posted:
Jul 10, 2023 - 21:57 |
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NBFL Season 31 Draft Preview
We return once again to our favorite offseason activity: er...no, not the one involving halfing hookers. I speak, of course, about the Draft! Teams get two rounds to add some much needed NCBB graduate-level talent to their squads, while new teams also get to select from experienced former NBFL players to start the franchise with! Let's break down the team needs and possible picks for teams during the Main Draft!
1. Floridaman Drunkfinns / Miyuso / Norse
Norse have always been difficult at NBFL-level TV, and being stuck in a tough division hasn't made it any easier for Coach Miyuso. But he runs it back again and has the first pick of the draft to significantly upgrade his squad with!
Draft Needs: One Berzerker, a healthy Yhetee
Possible Pick: John Cannon Air Force Warpstone Falcons AF Blitzer 147 1 +ST, Mighty Blow, [Chosen Primary], +ST, Tackle
When you pick first, you take the best player on the board. And John Cannon, aka "Murder Rat" in college, is an absolute monster who just happens to also fit right into the open Blitzer spot on the roster.
2. Arizona Redbulls / Klazam / Chaos Dwarf
The Redbulls are in a bit of an odd spot in that they have a good roster on paper still, but had an unfortunate season on the field and pick early.
Draft Needs: One Blocker, maaaybe replace an injured Bull or Blocker with a weird skill?
Possible Pick: Dwayne Allen Fayetteville Bronchospasms FAY Skill/Blitz 91 0 +ST, Mighty Blow, Guard, Tackle, Side Step
Filling their one real need of a Blocker won't win the headlines, but perhaps it could round out the roster for a rebound season. Dwayne loses Tackle but immediately becomes a problem for opponents to block.
3. Illadelph Sunshine / charlie1331 / Chaos
Illy has not had much success in the pros so far, though the roster is starting to round into form. With only one win in 21 games, it must be embarrassing for the chump that lost to them...oh. Shit.
Draft Needs: Best Beastman available, preferably a killer-type
Possible Pick: Gonzalo 'Thor' Ponzz Poli Puerkos POLI Blitzer 72 17 +AG, Tackle, +MA, +MA
Before anyone screams, Mr Thor is a mere three Spps away from getting Block (or Wrestle). A super-mobile, rangy safety is always welcome on a Chaos roster, and would be a very nice consolation prize if a pure hitter isn't available.
4. Denver TBD / jmonforton / Skaven
After years of valiant playoff runs, culminating in a Super Bowl appearance, coach Jmon has moved on from the Lizards to try a new challenge. He probably thought, "if I'm going to lose swaths of players regardless, I should probably play the team perhaps most adept at playing down numbers," and decided to switch to rats. What kind of monstrosities will he unearth now that his St2 players won't bloat the team with simple General skills?
Draft Needs: All, new franchise
Possible Pick: Tadeusz Piotrowski St. Francis Dead Flash STF Blitzer 100 3 Mighty Blow, Tackle, Frenzy, +AG, Juggernaut, Stand Firm
Mr Piotrowski would be an outstanding Blitzer to anchor the defensive efforts of the new version of Denver. He can reach difficult spots, send opponents to meet the fans, and hold his ground in key situations. What's not to love?
5. Baltimore Nevermore / KidCrestHill / Khorne
What a difference one season makes: in their first campaign, the Nevermore shocked the league and made the playoffs as Khorne, yet everything fell apart the very next run and here they are picking in the top five. Fortunately the roster emerged relatively in-tact, meaning that a solid draft and better dice could have Baltimore rebound very quickly.
Draft Needs: Two Khorngors, one for hitting and one with agility
Possible Pick: Rosy [IVCC] Ranchers IVCC Line/Skilled/Blitz 60 9 +MA, +MA, Block, [Chosen Primary]
There are a lot of options open to Coach KidCrest here, including some intriguing but expensive +ST players. But Rosy could be a long term investment towards having an incredible Safety-type player, choosing between skills like Frenzy (I know, but Ma8 and starts with Juggs), Grab, Tackle, Mighty Blow, Two Heads, and more.
6. Cryptolina Reapers / Waagh / Tomb Kings
Welcome back, Waagh! After having to step away due to IRL stuff, Carolina (sorry, Cryptolina) welcomes their beloved coach back with welcome arms...except that now the citizens are all skeletons. Weird. Nurgle's plagues must have rotted away all of their skin, or something.
Draft Needs: All, new franchise
Possible Pick: MIguelito UNAM Pumas Malditas UNAM Strength 73 17 Block, Mighty Blow, Guard, Tackle
Getting a four-skill Tomb Guardian who's three Spps away from Stand Firm would be a fantastic way to start your Khemrian empire.
7. Jakesonville Jortles / mrt1212 / Skaven
The Jortles continue their warpstone-friendly experiments to see what Coach Mrt can come up with in the lab (mrt most certainly belonging to Clan Moulder). What will these rats find in the draft to turn into their next freak of nature?
Draft Needs: Two Gutters, one Thrower
Possible Pick: Harold Floyd "Tina" Brooks Fayetteville Bronchospasms FAY Skilled 66 10 Wrestle, Dauntless, +AG, Leap
This would be a fun toy for the Jortles to have, giving them even more ability to threaten the ball and scoring.
8. HEnnessy Titanic Hangovers / knine / High Elf
Coach Knine takes over in Tennessee, apparently with his drink of choice in hand, and immediately has a tough task in front of him. While one of his division rivals picks immediately in front of him (potentially stealing a good player he wants), the other two draft a bit later...because they were the two representatives in the AFC Championship game. Good luck!
Draft Needs: All, new franchise
Possible Pick: Destiny UPike Pain Bearers UP Skilled 106 23 +ST, Block, Side Step, +MA, Tackle
While Destiny could become either a Catcher or Blitzer, selecting them as the former allows them to maximize early returns by already being extremely close to already adding Dodge and becoming a complete player.
9. Pittsburgh Pirouettes / Keshdr / Pro Elf
The Pirouettes continue to look for the right formula that will let them catch up to their division rivals, two of which made the playoffs last season.
Draft Needs: One Blitzer, Two Catchers, and a Thrower
Possible Pick: Aria Grimm Oregon Waterfoul O Skilled 124 0 +ST, Block, Dodge, Side Step, Tackle
If a Catcher is the target, Grimm could be an excellent selection who is ready to kick ass immediately.
10. Deadlanta Howlcons / GotrekSlayer / Necromantic
Coach Gotrek gave it his all for many years as Nurgle but has decided to try something different, and finds himself in a new home as well. Will he find a way to be competitive in a relatively young division?
Draft Needs: All, new franchise
Possible Pick: Jett Bender Ohio Wesleyan Battling Benders OW Skilled 90 0 +ST, Block, Dodge, Mighty Blow, Guard
The Guard skill is a bit strange but you can't complain when landing a former college stud like Jett Bender (who earned 60 Spps his freshman season). It wouldn't be surprising to watch Jett earn enough Spps to take a shot at AG/ST (with tackle or SS as a fall-back) in just his first professional season either.
11. Las Vegas Evaders / wintergreen13 / Pro Elves
The Evaders looked like a dominant franchise during their first two seasons, making the playoffs twice, including one trip to the AFC title game. And then that thing that generally happens to Pro Elves hit them hard last season. But you know what they say: "If you ain't dyin, you ain't pro."
Draft Needs: One Blitzer, Two Catchers, and maybe a Thrower
Possible Pick: Hill Mz State Bull Dawgz MzST Blitzer 62 11 Tackle, +MA, Mighty Blow, Frenzy
Mr Hill proved to be a tough Blitzer in college, and could continue that role in the pros here in Las Vegas. The sideline wouldn't be very safe, and those juicy targets would always be in range.
12. Brew More Gents / ryanfitz / Dwarf
The Gents continue to be a fan favorite as they foul the bejebus out of everyone. Turns out that even if the opposition has no players left, that you still need to be able to score as Dwarfs to win. And last season, Brew More lost both of their runners along the way.
Draft Needs: Two Runners, one Troll Slayer
Possible Pick: David ?Bubba? Brooks Fayetteville Bronchospasms FAY Skilled 60 4 Block, Guard, +MA, +MA
Another slightly odd place to have Guard, but when you can get an Ma8 Runner with Block, you take it. With Mr Brooks in the fold, that would be three players with double MA (plus another with a mere single MA increase); this could be the fastest Dwarf team of all time!
13. Kansas City Geese / HyperboLemuR / Human
Honk honk! The Geese have been feisty during their two seasons, having more ties than losses so far. Actually winning games has been the challenge, however, but some draft reinforcements could supplement their core; can it finally get them over the hump?
Draft Needs: Two Blitzers, one Catcher
Possible Pick: Rollo Chester Jr. Ottawa Bee-Bees OTT Blitzer 82 6 Mighty Blow, Tackle, Guard, Stand Firm, +MA
Very similar to the two Blitzers that are already on the roster, but Mr Rollo is the complete package and solidifies the 'Grit-and-Grind' philosophy that the team emanates.
14. Detroit Riots / HouseBlackfyre / Chaos
Detroit was...slightly better as Chaos after switching from Vampires the campaign prior. The team still plays in a very tough division, so progress will be incremental but nonetheless crucial moving forward.
Draft Needs: A 'Help Wanted' sign outside of team HQ
Possible Pick: Donovan Lackus Texas Tech Red Reptiles TT Blitzer/Strength 71 15 Block, Tackle, Mighty Blow, Guard
Barring a +Stat Beastman being available here, Detroit should target a Warrior-candidate to fill their open spot. Mr Lackus would already be the best one on the roster, as isn't far off from adding another skill (Stand Firm? Claws? Grab?) as well.
15. Trans Fat Crisco Porky Miners / Cervus / Human
The Porky Miners started strong last year, winning the league season-opener before fading down the stretch. What kind of player can they add to ensure that they take the next step?
Draft Needs: Two Blitzers, another Catcher
Possible Pick: Junior SayOw! Karak University KAMU Blitzer 46 11 Mighty Blow, +MA, Guard
Adding more speed to the team could help deal with the various Elves in the NFC West, and SayOw! is already progressing towards their next skill: perhaps Tackle? Save for a Stat?
16. Manglesota Lyc'ns / Lorebass / Necromantic
The Lyc'ns had a charmed season two campaigns ago, making it to the Super Bowl, before falling back down to earth a bit this past year. That can happen when you play in a division against both Aste and Grue, but Coach Lorebass still has a very capable roster at his disposal.
Draft Needs: One Wraith, replace one Golem
Possible Pick: #30 Matt "Deadwards" Edwards (CB) U.Con. Huskies UCONN Blitzer 58 23 Mighty Blow, Tackle, Guard
"Deadwards" experienced college as a Necro Wight but could find himself as a Necro Wraith in this new era. He would fit well in Manglesota, assisting teammates and hunting elves from Day 1.
17. Dallas Crowbar / OTS / Dwarf
Clearly the stubbornness of the Dwarfs has rubbed off on Coach OTS because he is still sticking with them despite losing both Runners last season. When is he going to help us accomplish our goal of the NFC ELF?!
Draft Needs: One Runner for us to kill again, also a Troll Slayer
Possible Pick: 30D-004 Julian Fleming Bro-hio State Buckeyes BRO Skilled 56 5 Block, Side Step, Sure Feet, On The Ball
Not a lot of great fits with whats left on the hypothetical board, but OTS recognizes one of his former players (an elf, just saying) and brings him back into the fold. Fleming's first assignment will be saving up enough Spps for a stat increase.
18. Clampa Bay Robotineers / dashergeaux / Human
Clampa Bay saw a promising rookie season go south as the team was ravaged by injuries. They will look to retool the team around their two selections in the compensatory draft, as well as the main draft, starting here.
Draft Needs: All, beat to shit
Possible Pick: Marc Ekker Ottawa Bee-Bees OTT Lineman 24 5 +ST, Block
Thanks to those compensation picks, coach Dash doesn't have to settle for a merely 'ok' Blitzer, and can instead add a third St4 player to the squad. These Humans go to the gym!
19. Witchington Commies / Garcangel / Dark Elf
Much like Clampa Bay above/before them, the Commies got beat to hell last season. Unlike the fighting Robots, however, the Commies managed to make the playoffs despite the attrition suffered during their inaugural campaign. A few core players are left, but Garc can go with any number of positions to try and upgrade.
Draft Needs: Two Blitzers, Lino depth
Possible Pick: Devil Coleman Indiana Horrors UI Skilled 96 0 Block, Dodge, Tackle, Side Step, Mighty Blow
A solid Dark Elf Blitzer that also can deal some damage? It's no Guard but it's not bad.
20. Buffalo Chill / Jeffro / Dark Elf
Easily the most interesting squad in the league, the Chill have none when it comes to things like moderation and humility. They are going to load up on freaks and dare you to try and stop them.
Draft Needs: Moar Stats and Defensive. Also maybe Witches if desired again.
Possible Pick: Kuiying Chen Ottawa Bee-Bees OTT Lineman 23 4 +ST, Block
MOAAAARRRR STAAAATTTSSSS!!!
21. No-Skincinnati Bungles / Dutchlife / Tomb Kings
Coach Dutch finally broke through last season with his skeleton legions, not just overcoming the .500 mark, but making the playoffs as well. What can he do for an encore after another draft class?
Draft Needs: One Tomb Guardian, one Blitzer
Possible Pick: Jax Messchoro Texas Tech Red Reptiles TT Blitzer/Strength 37 4 Guard, Block, Stand Firm
Tough call here between a three skill TG and three skill Blitzer, but this is the ideal build for the large bois.
22. NOLA Powers From Above / BillBrasky / Pro Elf
The Fighting Braskies continued their surge from the second half of last-last season and made the playoffs this time; what can they add to help them get back again?
Draft Needs: ...best player available?
Possible Pick: Justin Fields Bro-hio State Buckeyes BRO Thrower 73 17 Cannoneir,Accurate,Sure Hands,Safe Throw
NOLA doesn't actually need much, with their core six players being above average or better, and relatively healthy. They could see if anyone interesting drops in the draft, or maybe take the best Thrower available to optimize their offensive attack.
23. New York Kroaks / ex-convict / Slann
The Kroaks got hot beginning in week 7 after a pitiful start, though they ultimately fell in the Wildcard round. With several key players now carrying injuries, can the Frogs make another run, er, leap at it?
Draft Needs: Scoring Catcher(s), maybe replace a permed Blitzer
Possible Pick: Jawaun Johnson California Golden Lizards CAL Line/Skilled 76 20 Sure Hands, Block, Side Step, Sure Feet
Coach Ex-con gets one of his former college players to fill a need for his pro team: another scoring option to diversify the offense. And now those damn General skills aren't costed as Doubles anymore!
24. Tijuana Charros / Amon242 / Nurgle
The Charros have become a pretty consistent team in the tough AFC West, though they have yet to truly make a deep post-season run. Is there anyone in the draft who can give them the necessary tools to do so?
Draft Needs: One Pestigor
Possible Pick: 31I-1 Ben Coleman California Golden Lizards CAL Blitzer/Strength 73 17 Block, Frenzy, Mighty Blow, Juggernaut
Getting another hitting-style Pestigor to even out the corps 2:2 between offense and defense could be a good move. Adding some Frenzy (which the team currently lacks) could make it a great move!
25. New Zigguratland Chariots / Wolvezzz / Chaos Dwarf
The Chariots were decimated last season but scrapped their way to a playoff appearance. Can they find a way to retool on the fly, or will they actually suck for a season or more?
Draft Needs: Lol...Two Bulls and FOUR Blockers
Possible Pick: Frankie the Friar St. Francis Dead Flash STF Strength/Big Guy 74 0 Guard, Mighty Blow, +ST, Stand Firm, Sure Hands
While this article is a Preview and not a set of Predictions, this is the one pick that we guarantee with 100% certainty! Absolutely no one else in the draft should be interesting in taking this strange player, but coach Wolvezzz has proven that project-Bulls that don't have Block are no obstacle! There is NO way this doesn't happen!
[Narrator: This did not happen.]
26. Los Angeles Glams / Stimme / High Elf
The Glams continue to be one of the most consistent teams in the league, with annual playoff appearances. It has been a while since they've been to the mountaintop, however; can they add a piece to help them get back?
Draft Needs: One Catcher, maybe a Thrower
Possible Pick: Dennis O'Neil Saint Louis Billikens STL Skilled 72 16 Block, Tackle, Dodge, Side Step
Getting a four-skill Catcher late in the first round seems like a win for the Glams.
27. Cleaved Land Bedlam / captainmalkor / Chaos
The Bedlam continue to be in the running for the largest team in the league (indeed, they rarely drop below 2nd), though they are slowly accumulating random injuries. Still, they are healthy enough to not "need" much at this point.
Draft Needs: Best Player Available
Possible Pick: Bonn Sir Northern Virginia CC Hawks NOVA Lineman 47 12 Block, Fend, +AG
With "only" two Ag4 Beastman left, this could be a great opportunity to get another one and mold him into something fierce by the playoffs.
28. Mean Fae Quackers / happygrue / High Elf
The Quackers have made the playoffs in their two first seasons so far; is it only a matter of time before Grue figures out the last part of the formula? And can he find it in this draft?
Draft Needs: One Blitzer, one Catcher, Guard Linos
Possible Pick: Jack Gray Gallaudet Deaf Bulls GD Blitzer/Strength 69 13 Mighty Blow, Guard, Frenzy, [Chosen Secondary]
Though he will be a bit pricey with three chosen secondaries, Mr Gray will provide a lot of useful tools to the Quack Attack (assuming the Chosen skill is Juggs).
29. Houston Treants / Bazakastine / Wood Elf
The Treants are slowly being pushed to the ledge where you suddenly drop off from competing for Super Bowls to instead rebuilding. Their legendary core has some hard-earned battle scars, and almost literally the rest of the team has been sacrificed to keep them alive. Who will Baz look at add as fodder to keep them going for at least one more season?
Draft Needs: Cannon Fodder
Possible Pick: Joe Dirte Ottawa Bee-Bees OTT Lineman 25 6 Guard, Block
Another year, another Guard player for Baz.
30. ChicagOrkz Borkz / asteflix / Orc
The Borkz have been blessed with good health during their run so far, and their core has developed into a fearsome group. Can coach Aste patch up the holes they have appeared?
Draft Needs: Two Big Un's
Possible Pick: Ulfi Hergilson Washington Huskarls WAS Strength 32 1 Block, Guard, Stand Firm
A shame that Aste actually needs to draft something this time.
31. Orkapolis Wargs / Xelron / Orc
The Wargs made a huge jump last season, going from merely making the Wild Card to making the Super Bowl. While they did not win, they now know what it takes to make the journey. What do they need to make it back?
Draft Needs: Replace permed player of choice
Possible Pick: Russell Zgota St. Francis Dead Flash STF Strength/Big Guy 41 8 Guard, Mighty Blow, Stand Firm
Yes, yes, I know: taking a Big Un 8 Spps from Block is a risk. But the team is so complete that you can afford to have one project player. Besides, the important thing isn't winning during the regular season, as Xelron has shown that he can do that. What matters is winning in the post-season, and if you can get Zgota to Block, you suddenly have a complete player ready to try and get that ring.
32. Szeattle Scimitars / Nelphine / Dark Elf
Little needs to be said about the Defending Champs, as they went unbeaten last season, overcame the nearly 28-season-long Ex-con Curse, and almost certainly didn't have the hottest dice of Nelphine's career for their playoff run.
Draft Needs: A tin foil hat to keep all those, uh, interesting ideas in his head
Possible Pick: Far Side UPike Pain Bearers UP Skill/Thrower 73 22 Accurate, Block, Dodge, Nerves of Steel
Toss Pass onto that thing and have fun. |
_________________
Part of the NCBB and the NBFL.
Don't drop the soap. |
|
ex-convict
Joined: Jun 28, 2005
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| Posted:
Jul 28, 2023 - 04:59 |
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NBFL Season 31 Draft Grades
Another offseason means another draft for NBFL teams: some of them brand new looking to build a foundation, others looking for the final piece to try and win the Super Bowl. Who best read the board and got value deep into the rounds? Who's team improved the most? Let's take a look:
1. Arizona Redbulls
Race: Chaos Dwarf
Coach: Klazam
Division: NFC West
Previous Record: 0-4-10
Draft Needs
-One Blocker, maaaybe replace an injured Bull or Blocker with a weird skill?
Draft Notes
-Traded up to #1 for #2 and #34
Draft Picks
Main 1 John "Murder Rat" Cannon Air Force Warpstone Falcons AF Blitzer 147 0 +ST, Mighty Blow, Guard, +ST Chaos Dwarf Blocker
Draft Grades
Ex-con: A
Dash: A
Waagh: A
2. Floridaman Drunkfinns
Race: Norse
Coach: Miyuso
Division: AFC East
Previous Record: 1-4-9
Draft Needs
-One Berzerker, a healthy Yhetee
Draft Notes
-Traded down from #1 for #2 and #34
Draft Picks
Main 2 Frankie the Friar St. Francis Dead Flash STF Strength/Big Guy 74 0 Guard, Mighty Blow, +ST, Stand Firm, Sure Hands Ulfwerener
Main 34 Chris E Ball State Crimson Birds BALL Blitzer 42 7 Guard, Stand Firm, Mighty Blow Norse Blitzer
Main 35 Bonn Sir Northern Virginia CC Hawks NOVA Lineman 47 8 Fend, +AG Norse Lineman
Draft Grades
Ex-con: C+
Dash: B-
Waagh: C
3. Illadelph Sunshine
Race: Chaos
Coach: charlie1331
Division: NFC East
Previous Record: 1-4-9
Draft Needs
-Best Beastman available, preferably a killer-type
Draft Notes
-Went for ST/MA over AG/MA/MA player in 'Thor'
Draft Picks
Main 3 Destiny UPike Pain Bearers UP Skilled 106 23 +ST, Block, Side Step, +MA, Tackle Beastman
Main 33 Michael Mafar Texas Tech Red Reptiles TT Blitzer/Strength 38 4 Block, Dodge, Guard Chaos Warrior
Draft Grades
Ex-con: B
Dash: B
Waagh: B+
4. Denver TBD
Race: Skaven
Coach: jmonforton
Division: AFC West
Previous Record: 1-5-8 (as Lizards)
Draft Needs
-All (new race)
Draft Notes
-Out of country, picking late from phone
Draft Picks
Comp 1.3 Line/Blitzer Line +ST, Guard, Tackle, Mighty Blow 107 0 Skaven Blitzer
Comp 2.2 line/skill/blitz Clyde Edwards-Helaire Block, +AG, Sure Hands 39 4 Gutter Runner
Comp 3.2 Lineman Jack Meathook Dirty Player, Wrestle, Guard 44 9 Linerat
Main 4 (technically made after the 11th pick was made) Z. Keen Mountain Union Raiders MU Skilled 56 3 Block, Sure Feet, Side Step, Sprint Gutter Runner
Main 36 C. Molanes ITBA Tinkerers ITBA Skill/Blitz 40 5 Tackle, Dodge, Sidestep Skaven Blitzer
Draft Grades
Ex-con: B
Dash: B
Waagh: B-
5. Baltimore Nevermore
Race: Khorne
Coach: KidCrestHill
Division: AFC North
Previous Record: 3-3-8
Draft Needs
-Two Khorngors, one for hitting and one with agility
Draft Notes
Draft Picks
Main 5 Gonzalo 'Thor' Ponzz Poli Puerkos POLI Blitzer 72 17 +AG, Tackle, +MA, +MA Khorngor
Main 37 SS Law R Grunts of ARMY ARMY Blitzer 23 4 Tackle, Break Tackle Khorngor
Draft Grades
Ex-con: B+
Dash: B
Waagh: B
6. Kansas City Geese
Race: Human
Coach: HyperboLemuR
Division: AFC West
Previous Record: 4-4-6
Draft Needs
-Two Blitzers, one Catcher
Draft Notes
-Traded up to #6 for #13 and #45
Draft Picks
Main 6 Tadeusz Piotrowski St. Francis Dead Flash STF Blitzer 100 3 Mighty Blow, Tackle, Frenzy, +AG, Juggernaut, Stand Firm Human Blitzer
Draft Grades
Ex-con: A
Dash: A
Waagh: A
7. Jakesonville Jortles
Race: Skaven
Coach: mrt1212
Division: AFC South
Previous Record: 2-6-6
Draft Needs
-Two Gutters, one Thrower
Draft Notes
Draft Picks
Main 7 Harold Floyd "Tina" Brooks Fayetteville Bronchospasms FAY Skilled 66 10 Wrestle, Dauntless, +AG, Leap Gutter Runner
Main 39 Garrett Wilson Bro-hio State Buckeyes BRO Skilled 28 9 Block, Side Step, Sure Feet, Leap, Fend Gutter Runner
Draft Grades
Ex-con: A-
Dash: A
Waagh: A
8. HEnnessy Titanic Hangovers
Race: High Elves
Coach: knine
Division: AFC South
Previous Record: N/A (new franchise)
Draft Needs
-All (new franchise)
Draft Notes
-Better/cheaper Pool 3 picks available
Draft Picks
Comp 1.1 blitzer/skilled Vin Riddick [CLE] Tackle, +AG, +MA, +ST 152 0 High Elf Blitzer
Comp 2.4 blitzer/skilled Steve Smith Sr. +AG, Dodge, Side Step 36 1 High Elf Catcher
Comp 3.4 Lineman Step On Titt Dirty Player, Sneaky Git, +ST 35 0 High Lineelf
Main 8 Dwayne Allen Fayetteville Bronchospasms FAY Skill/Blitz 91 0 +ST, Mighty Blow, Guard, Tackle, Side Step High Elf Blitzer
Main 40 Julian Fleming Bro-hio State Buckeyes BRO Skilled 56 5 Block, Side Step, Sure Feet, On The Ball High Elf Catcher
Draft Grades
Ex-con: A--
Dash: B
Waagh: C+
9. Pittsburgh Pirouettes
Race: Pro Elves
Coach: Keshdr
Division: AFC North
Previous Record: 4-2-8
Draft Needs
-One Blitzer, Two Catchers, and a Thrower
Draft Notes
Draft Picks
Main 9 Aria Grimm Oregon Waterfoul O Skilled 124 0 +ST, Block, Dodge, Side Step, Tackle Pro Elf Catcher
Main 41 Penei Pavihi Hawaii Warrielves HAW Skill/Blitz 72 16 Dodge, Tackle, Frenzy, Jump Up Pro Elf Blitzer
Draft Grades
Ex-con: A-
Dash: A
Waagh: A
10. Deadlanta Howlcons
Race: Necro
Coach: GotrekSlayer
Division: NFC South
Previous Record: 2-7-5 (as Nurgle in TEN)
Draft Needs
-All (new race)
Draft Notes
Draft Picks
Comp 1.2 line/skill/blitz Tyreek Hill Block, +ST, Mighty Blow, [Chosen Primary] 55 0 Werewolf
Comp 2.3 Strength Burry-Kiv'ren the Necrophile Block, Guard, Mighty Blow 37 2 Flesh Golem
Comp 3.3 Blitzer Jack Skittles Guard, Tackle 18 0 Wraith
Main 10 Jett Bender Ohio Wesleyan Battling Benders OW Skilled 90 0 +ST, Block, Dodge, Mighty Blow, Guard Werewolf
Main 42 Mike Degory Florida Rotting Gators UF Strength 22 3 Block, Guard Flesh Golem
Draft Grades
Ex-con: A
Dash: A+
Waagh: A+
11. Las Vegas Evaders
Race: Pro Elves
Coach: wintergreen13
Division: AFC West
Previous Record: 3-6-5
Draft Needs
-One Blitzer, Two Catchers, and maybe a Thrower
Draft Notes
Draft Picks
Main 11 Hill Mz State Bull Dawgz MzST Blitzer 62 11 Tackle, +MA, Mighty Blow, Frenzy Pro Elf Blitzer
Main 43 Sheamus Bolt SMU Mousestangs SMU Skilled 48 13 Wrestle, Tackle, Leap Pro Elf Catcher
Draft Grades
Ex-con: B+
Dash: B
Waagh: A-
12. Brew More Gents
Race: Dwarf
Coach: ryanfitz
Division: AFC East
Previous Record: 4-4-6
Draft Needs
-Two Runners, one Troll Slayer
Draft Notes
Draft Picks
Main 12 Rosy [IVCC] Ranchers IVCC Line/Skilled/Blitz 60 9 +MA, +MA, Block, [Chosen Primary] Dwarf Runner
Main 46 "Jingles" Polynski Northern Virginia CC Hawks NOVA Lineman 25 9 Guard, Mighty Blow Dwarf Blocker
Draft Grades
Ex-con: B+
Dash: B
Waagh: A-
13. Cryptolina Reapers
Race: Khemri
Coach: Waagh
Division: NFC South
Previous Record: N/A (new franchise)
Draft Needs
-All (new franchise)
Draft Notes
-Traded down to #13 for #6 and #45
Draft Picks
Comp 1.4 Skilled Jason Armstrong [FAY] AG, +AG, +MA, +MA, +ST 140 0 Thro-ra
Comp 2.1 Strength Onsi'Ded Shitsh'Ow Block, Guard, Stand Firm 46 11 Tomb Guardian
Comp 3.1 Strength Kent Taylor [KAN] Block, Mighty Blow, Break Tackle, Guard 59 3 Tomb Guardian
Main 13 Jack Gray Gallaudet Deaf Bulls GD Blitzer/Strength 69 13 Mighty Blow, Guard, Frenzy, Block Tomb Guardian
Main 38 Ulfi Hergilson Washington Huskarls WAS Strength 32 1 Block, Guard, Stand Firm Tomb Guardian
Main 45 Buddy Johnson Texas AM Les Agriculteurs A&M Blitzer 25 6 Guard, Stand Firm Khemri Blitzer
Draft Grades
Ex-con: A-
Dash: A
Waagh: B+
14. No-Skincinnati Bungles
Race: Khemri
Coach: Dutchlife
Division: AFC North
Previous Record: 6-4-4
Draft Needs
-One Tomb Guardian, one Blitzer
Draft Notes
-Traded up to #14 for #21 and #52
Draft Picks
Main 14 MIguelito UNAM Pumas Malditas UNAM Strength 73 17 Block, Mighty Blow, Guard, Tackle Tomb Guardian
Draft Grades
Ex-con: B
Dash: B
Waagh: B
15. Trans Fat Crisco Porky Miners
Race: Humans
Coach: Cervus
Division: NFC West
Previous Record: 5-2-7
Draft Needs
-Two Blitzers, another Catcher
Draft Notes
-23 Spps on 'Deadwards'
Draft Picks
Main 15 #30 Matt "Deadwards" Edwards (CB) U.Con. Huskies UCONN Blitzer 58 23 Mighty Blow, Tackle, Guard Human Blitzer
Main 48 Connor Lanfear Texas E n' M Banshees EnM Lineman 30 11 Dirty Player, Sneaky Git Human Halfling
Draft Grades
Ex-con: B
Dash: C
Waagh: D
16. Manglesota Lyc'ns
Race: Necro
Coach: Lorebass
Division: NFC North
Previous Record: 5-2-7
Draft Needs
-One Wraith, replace one Golem
Draft Notes
-Could have replaced Golem with MultiBlock and Piledriver with B/G Golem in 2nd
Draft Picks
Main 16 Rollo Chester Jr. Ottawa Bee-Bees OTT Blitzer 82 6 Mighty Blow, Tackle, Guard, Stand Firm, +MA Wraith
Main 47 Etino Miattraddi UC San Dogo Krytens UCSD Lineman 26 10 Block, Kick Necro Zombie
Draft Grades
Ex-con: B-
Dash: B
Waagh: "Lorebass-C"
17. Tijuana Charros
Race: Nurgle
Coach: Amon242
Division: AFC West
Previous Record: 7-6-1
Draft Needs
-One Pestigor
Draft Notes
-Traded up to #17 for #24 and #56
-17 spps on Coleman
Draft Picks
Main 17 Ben Coleman California Golden Lizards CAL Blitzer/Strength 73 17 Block, Frenzy, Mighty Blow, Juggernaut Pestigor
Draft Grades
Ex-con: A-
Dash: "F U"
Waagh: A
18. Clampa Bay Robotineers
Race: Humans
Coach: dashergeaux
Division: NFC South
Previous Record: 5-5-4
Draft Needs
-All, beat to shit
Draft Notes
-Granted two Pool 2 comp picks
Draft Picks
Comp 2.5 Skilled Deebo Samuel +AG, On the Ball 30 11 Human Catcher
Comp 2.9 Blitzer Allin Rage Mighty Blow, Tackle, Frenzy, +MA, Stand Firm 102 0 Human Blitzer
Main 18 Marc Ekker Ottawa Bee-Bees OTT Lineman 24 5 +ST, Block Human Lineman
Main 50 Keaton Upshaw Cantucky Wildcats CU Blitzer/Strength 38 0 Break Tackle, +MA Human Blitzer
Draft Grades
Ex-con: B+
Dash: B
Waagh: B-
19. Witchington Commies
Race: Dark Elves
Coach: Garcangel
Division: NFC East
Previous Record: 5-6-3
Draft Needs
-Two Blitzers, Lino depth
Draft Notes
-Granted one Pool 2 and one Pool 3 comp pick each
Draft Picks
Comp 2.6 Blitzer/skilled Dr. Demento Jr [UM] Dodge, +MA, Guard, Side Step 61 5 Dark Elf Blitzer
Comp 3.5 Line/Blitzer Hill Block, Guard 18 0 Dark Lineelf
Main 19 David ?Bubba? Brooks Fayetteville Bronchospasms FAY Skilled 60 0 Guard, +MA, +MA Dark Elf Blitzer
Main 51 Margus Hunt SMU Mousestangs SMU Lineman 23 4 Dirty Player, Sneaky Git Dark Lineelf
Draft Grades
Ex-con: A-
Dash: A
Waagh: A+
20. Buffalo Chill
Race: Dark Elves
Coach: Jeffro
Division: AFC East
Previous Record: 6-4-4
Draft Needs
-Moar Stats and Defensive. Also maybe Witches if desired again.
Draft Notes
Draft Picks
Main 20 Donovan Lackus Texas Tech Red Reptiles TT Blitzer/Strength 71 11 Tackle, Mighty Blow, Guard Dark Elf Blitzer
Main 53 High Pitch UPike Pain Bearers UP Lineman 28 9 Dirty Player, Block Dark Lineelf
Draft Grades
Ex-con: B-
Dash: B
Waagh: B/B+
21. Detroit Riots
Race: Chaos
Coach: HouseBlackfyre
Division: NFC North
Previous Record: 3-4-7
Draft Needs
-A 'Help Wanted' sign outside of team HQ
Draft Notes
-Granted one Pool 2 and one Pool 3 comp pick each
-Traded down from #14 for #21 and #52
Draft Picks
Comp 2.7 Strength Felton Capel "Da Turd" [DUKE] Break Tackle, Block, Tackle, Mighty Blow, Dodge 88 0 Chaos Warrior
Comp 3.6 Strength Michael Saffell [CAL] Block, Guard 23 4 Chaos Warrior
Main 21 Devil Coleman Indiana Horrors UI Skilled 96 0 Block, Dodge, Tackle, Side Step, Mighty Blow Beastman
Main 44 Hubert Zemke Air Force Warpstone Falcons AF Lineman 44 9 Mighty Blow, Block, Claw Beastman
Main 52 Oats Cantucky Wildcats CU Blitzer/Strength 53 18 Block, Dodge, Break Tackle Chaos Warrior
Draft Grades
Ex-con: B
Dash: B
Waagh: C
22. Szeattle Scimitars
Race: Dark Elves
Coach: Nelphine
Division: NFC West
Previous Record: 11-3-0 (Defending Champs)
Draft Needs
-A tin foil hat to keep all those, uh, interesting ideas in his head
Draft Notes
-Traded up to #22 for #32 and #64
Draft Picks
Main 22 Joe Dirte Ottawa Bee-Bees OTT Lineman 25 6 Guard, Block Dark Lineelf
Draft Grades
Ex-con: C+
Dash: C
Waagh: A+
23. New York Kroaks
Race: Slann
Coach: ex-convict
Division: NFC East
Previous Record: 7-3-4
Draft Needs
-Scoring Catcher(s), maybe replace a permed Blitzer
Draft Notes
Draft Picks
Main 23 Jawaun Johnson California Golden Lizards CAL Line/Skilled 76 20 Sure Hands, Block, Side Step, Sure Feet Slann Catcher
Main 55 Cameron Dollar Charlotte's Forty Normers UNCC Lineman 29 13 Block, Frenzy Linefrog
Draft Grades
Ex-con: B
Dash: B
Aste: F
24. Dallas Crowbar
Race: Dwarfs
Coach: OTS
Division: NFC East
Previous Record: 4-5-5
Draft Needs
-One Runner for us to kill again, also a Troll Slayer
Draft Notes
-Traded #17 for #24 and #56
Draft Picks
Main 24 Kuiying Chen Ottawa Bee-Bees OTT Lineman 23 0 +ST Dwarf Blocker
Main 49 The Great Gorian Fresno State Raiders FSR Skilled 48 9 Block, Side Step Dead Runner
Main 56 Demetrius Augustine Gallitzin St. Francis Dead Flash STF Strength/Big Guy 42 3 Mighty Blow, Guard, Stand Firm, Brawler Troll Slayer
Draft Grades
Ex-con: C+
Dash: B
Aste: B+
25. Orkapolis Wargs
Race: Orcs
Coach: Xelron
Division: AFC South
Previous Record: 8-2-4
Draft Needs
-Replace permed player of choice
Draft Notes
-Traded up to #25 for #31 and #63
Draft Picks
Main 25 Pascal Cantucky Wildcats CU Blitzer/Strength 47 12 Guard, Mighty Blow, Grab Big 'un Blocker
Draft Grades
Ex-con: B+
Dash: C
Aste: C
26. Los Angeles Glams
Race: High Elves
Coach: Stimme
Division: NFC West
Previous Record: 7-4-3
Draft Needs
-One Catcher, maybe a Thrower
Draft Notes
Draft Picks
Main 26 Far Side UPike Pain Bearers UP Skill/Thrower 73 22 Accurate, Block, Dodge, Nerves of Steel High Elf Thrower
Main 58 Rex Burningham [NCBB] BYU Cougars BYU Lineman 25 6 Kick, Block High Lineelf
Draft Grades
Ex-con: B
Dash: B (A?)
Waagh: B+
27. Cleaved Land Bedlam
Race: Chaos
Coach: captainmalkor
Division: AFC North
Previous Record: 7-5-2
Draft Needs
-Best Player Available
Draft Notes
Draft Picks
Main 27 Dennis O'Neil Saint Louis Billikens STL Skilled 72 16 Block, Tackle, Dodge, Side Step Beastman
Main 59 Mia Wang RMC She-Devils RMC Lineman 45 14 Block, Fend, Tackle Beastman
Draft Grades
Ex-con: C+
Dash: C
Waagh: C
28. Mean Fae Quackers
Race: High Elves
Coach: happygrue
Division: NFC North
Previous Record: 9-2-3
Draft Needs
-One Blitzer, one Catcher, Guard Linos
Draft Notes
Draft Picks
Main 28 Junior SayOw! Karak University KAMU Blitzer 46 11 Mighty Blow, +MA, Guard High Elf Blitzer
Main 60 Zoom Karak University KAMU Skilled/Thrower 44 9 Block, Tackle, Strip Ball High Elf Catcher
Draft Grades
Ex-con: C+
Dash: B+
Aste: B
29. Houston Treants
Race: Wood Elves
Coach: Bazakastine
Division: AFC South
Previous Record: 8-4-2
Draft Needs
-Cannon Fodder
Draft Notes
Draft Picks
Main 29 Justin Fields Bro-hio State Buckeyes BRO Thrower 73 17 Cannoneer, Accurate, Sure Hands, Safe Throw Wood Elf Thrower
Main 61 Caden Hilborn Hawaii Warrielves HAW Lineman 22 3 Kick, Wrestle Wood Lineelf
Draft Grades
Ex-con: B-
Dash: B
Aste: C+
30. ChicagOrkz Borkz
Race: Orcs
Coach: asteflix
Division: NFC North
Previous Record: 11-2-1
Draft Needs
-Two Big Un's
Draft Notes
Draft Picks
Main 30 Jax Messchoro Texas Tech Red Reptiles TT Blitzer/Strength 37 4 Guard, Block, Stand Firm Big 'Un Blocker
Main 62 Alfr Hergerson Washington Huskarls WAS Strength 19 0 Block, Guard Big 'Un Blocker
Draft Grades
Ex-con: A
Dash: A
Aste: A
31. New Zigguratland Chariots
Race: Chaos Dwarfs
Coach: Wolvezzz
Division: AFC East
Previous Record: 4-7-3
Draft Needs
-Lol...Two Bulls and FOUR Blockers
Draft Notes
-Granted a Pool 2 comp pick
-Traded #25 for #31 and #63
-That comp pick...
Draft Picks
Comp 2.8 Lineman Donovan Margonn +AG, Block, Tackle 41 6 Hobgoblin
Main 31 Russell Zgota St. Francis Dead Flash STF Strength/Big Guy 41 8 Guard, Mighty Blow, Stand Firm Chorf Blocker
Main 57 Kent John Chabotar St. Francis Dead Flash STF Strength/Big Guy 19 0 Guard, Stand Firm Chorf Blocker
Main 63 Harris Mz State Bull Dawgz MzST Strength 12 2 Block, Break Tackle Bull Centaur
Draft Grades
Ex-con: D+
Dash: C
Aste: C-
32. NOLA Powers From Above
Race: Pro Elves
Coach: BillBrasky
Division: NFC South
Previous Record: 8-1-5
Draft Needs
-...best player available?
Draft Notes
-Traded #22 for #32 and #64
Draft Picks
Main 32 Jason Matthew-Sharsh Hawaii Warrielves HAW Skilled 70 14 Dump-Off, Dodge, Block, Side Step Pro Elf Catcher
Main 54 Lauren Paolo RMC She-Devils RMC Lineman 40 9 Block, Dirty Player, +MA Pro Lineelf
Main 64 Cory Hothammer Texas E n' M Banshees EnM Lineman 31 0 Block, Dauntless, Dodge Pro Lineelf
Draft Grades
Ex-con: D
Dash: C
Aste: A- |
_________________
Part of the NCBB and the NBFL.
Don't drop the soap. |
|
ex-convict
Joined: Jun 28, 2005
|
| Posted:
Aug 14, 2023 - 05:32 |
|
NBFL Season 31 Preview
A new season is upon us! After watching the Szeattle Scimitars go unbeaten in the regular season, win the Super Bowl, and, most importantly, break the long-standing Ex-con Curse, surely coach Nelphine used up all of his luck? Let us predict the regular season standings before taking another swing at some playoff prognostications.
NFC West
1. Szeattle Scimitars / Dark Elf / Nelphine
2. Los Angeles Glams / High Elf / Stimme
3. Arizona Redbulls / Chaos Dwarf / Klazam
4. Trans Fat Crisco Porky Miners / Human / Cervus
NFC South
1. NOLA Powers From Above / Pro Elf / BillBrasky
2. Clampa Bay Robotineers / Human / dashergeaux
3. Deadlanta Howlcons / Necro / GotrekSlayer
4. Cryptolina Reapers / Khemri / Waagh
NFC North
1. ChicagOrkz Borkz / Orc / asteflix
2. Mean Fae Quackers / High Elf / happygrue
3. Manglesota Lyc'ns / Necro / Lorebass
4. Detroit Riots / Chaos / HouseBlackfyre
NFC East
1. New York Kroaks / Slann / ex-convict
2. Witchington Commies / Dark Elf / Garcangel
3. Illadelph Sunshine / Chaos / charlie1331
4. Dallas Crowbar / Dwarf / OTS
AFC West
1. Las Vegas Evaders / Pro Elf / wintergreen13
2. Tijuana Charros / Nurgle / Amon242
3. Kansas City Geese / Human / HyperboLemuR
4. Denver Bubonics / Skaven / jmonforton
AFC South
1. Houston Treants / Wood Elf / Bazakastine
2. Orkapolis Wargs / Orc / Xelron
3. Jakesonville Jortles / Skaven / mrt1212
4. HEnnessy Titanic Hangovers / High Elf / knine
AFC North
1. Cleaved Land Bedlam / Chaos / captainmalkor
2. Baltimore Nevermore / Khorne / KidCrestHill
3. No-Skincinnati Bungles / Khemri / Dutchlife
4. Pittsburgh Pirouettes / Pro Elf / Keshdr
AFC East
1. Buffalo Chill / Dark Elf / Jeffro
2. Brew More Gents / Dwarf / ryanfitz
3. New Zigguratland Chariots / Chaos Dwarf / Wolvezzz
4. Floridaman Drunkfinns / Norse / Miyuso
NFC Playoffs
1. ChicagOrkz Borkz / North
2. Szeattle Scimitars / West
3. New York Kroaks / East
4. NOLA Powers From Above / South
5. Witchington Commies / East
6. Mean Fae Quackers / North
7. Los Angeles Glams / West
NFC Championship Game: (1) ChicagOrkz Borkz vs (2) Szeattle Scimitars
AFC Playoffs
1. Houston Treants / South
2. Cleaved Land Bedlam / North
3. Las Vegas Evaders / West
4. Buffalo Chill / East
5. Tijuana Charros / West
6. Orkapolis Wargs / South
7. Baltimore Nevermore / North
AFC Championship Game: (1) Houston Treants vs (5) Tijuana Charros
NBFL Super Bowl 31: ChicagOrkz Borkz vs Houston Treants
Super Bowl Champion: ChicagOrkz Borkz
Too Much Bork. |
_________________
Part of the NCBB and the NBFL.
Don't drop the soap. |
|
wintergreen13
Joined: Apr 10, 2011
|
| Posted:
Aug 24, 2023 - 00:10 |
|
NBFL Season XXXI Week 1
A fresh season means a fresh start: whether you came out of the draft laden with expansion picks, a brand-new race, or even just managed to snag that crucial Block/Guard lineman, every coach steps up to their first game with expectations soaring. 90 minutes later? Well, things might feel quite different! In the spirit of fresh starts and full disclosures, the DOTW team would like to make a statement.
We here at DOTW stand with our sisters in the Writer’s Guild to say that we will absolutely not allow robots to take our jobs! While the DOTW staff does have to work out of the factory floor of an abandoned pickle packager (the office space was too pricey), occasionally leading to poor attendance due to “pickle migraines†(sadly, we cannot offer comprehensive healthcare to our staff; we do, however, have some vouchers for 10% off at Nick’s Naturopathy), we are steadfast in refusing to relinquish the extremely important work we do to automatons. Each bespoke DOTW missive drips with artisanal touches and would be ruined if chatbots and androids were to get their oily fingerprints all over them. So you, dear coach, can rest easy knowing the robots have all been barred from entering THIS venue.
Dead of the Week
Keegan La Stous: Illadelph beastman; Block, Guard
Ruvixad Ruth: Szeattle lineman; Grab, Block
Lundy ''Overburdened'' Dork [NSP]: ChicagOrkz big un; Block, Guard, Stand Firm, Mighty Blow, Tackle, Frenzy
Larry Wilson ''Asylum'' Dork [QUZ]: ChicagOrkz big un; Block, Guard, Mighty Blow, Stand Firm, Diving Tackle
Rekokhel Okwara [LVS]: Jakesonville gutter runner; Tackle, Leap, Side Step, Dauntless, Wrestle
Jimmy Nibbles: Denver thrower; Block
Rollo Chester Jr. [OTT]: Manglesota wraith; Mighty Blow, Tackle, Guard, Stand Firm, +MA
Death of the Week: Well now, what have we got here? DEAD ORCS??!!?!? *rubs hands greedily* A truly fantastic crop! 4 dead draft picks right out of the gate! The DOTW team spent almost an entire day debating which lucky player should receive the honor of Death of the Week. On the one hand, Rollo Chester Jr. is the only dead player with a stat increase, and played a valuable role for Manglesota. On the other, Jakesonville lost its best sacker – a crucial player for them. But in the end, the loss of THREE big uns pushed coach asteflix into the limelight for the first time. DOTW goes to Larry Wilson ''Asylum'' Dork! The loss of a diving tackler will no doubt hamper ChicagOrkz this season as they take on elves left, right, and Quacker (eh? Eh?).
Maimed of the Week
Cheese Richard: Denver linerat (-AV); Wrestle
Paris Ford [PITT]: Bungles blitzer (-AV); Mighty Blow, Side Step, Guard, Juggernaut, Frenzy
R. Scapula: Bungles lineman (-AG); Wrestle, Frenzy
Hubert Zemke [AF]: Detroit beastman (-PA); Mighty Blow, Block, Claws
Mac Steen [FU]: New Zig minotaur (-ST); Block, Break Tackle, Guard, Pro
Russell Zgota [STF]: New Zig chorf (-AV); Guard, Mighty Blow, Stand Firm
Donovan Margonn: New Zig hobgob (-AV); +AG, Block, Tackle
Joe Dirte [OTT]: Szeattle lineman (-MA); Block, Guard
Alfr Hergerson [WAS]: ChicagOrkz big un (-AV); Block, Guard
X-1 Palmer: Clampa Bay catcher (-AV); Side Step
Baun: NOLA lineman (-AV); Sneaky Git
Erica Flowers: Witchington witch elf (-MA); Wrestle, Side Step
Bobby Mitchell: Witchington lineman (-MA); Block, Defensive
Tre Hawkins III: New York linefrog (-AG); Wrestle
mrt Runs a Tight Ship: Mean Fae thrower (-AV); Hail Mary Pass, Dump-off
Total NI this week: 9
Total MNG this week: 28
Total stat busts this week: 15
Total deaths this week: 7
Grand total SI/RIP: 59 |
Last edited by wintergreen13 on %b %30, %2023 - %17:%Aug; edited 2 times in total |
|
wintergreen13
Joined: Apr 10, 2011
|
| Posted:
Aug 30, 2023 - 08:50 |
|
NBFL Season XXXI Week 2
Message from the Editor: some disquieting rumors have begun to spread that the DOTW offices have been infiltrated by robots due to confusing messages appearing on the NBFL private chat lines. I can assure you that this had nothing to do with robots at all, it was merely our newest intern, Rylandenstern, who was given the job of running our social media and got a little bit confused. These things can happen when the pickle fumes are especially heady, usually when the temperature creeps above 75 degrees. It was 115 degrees in the DOTW offices this week so you can only imagine what that will do to an intern’s mental capacity. You ever been in a pickle sauna with 20 random coworkers? As an INTERN? Do. NOT. Recommend. Anyway, you can all rest assured that robots are not, and will never, be allowed in DOTW.
NBFL certainly put the “kick†in their week 2 kickoffs, with a blizzard of #$>>$%1000110101>,>?$$# kills and serious injuries. I haven’t seen this much damage dealt since the <Reformatting Wars> back in the clawpomb era! Whoooo-ee! Let’s dig in, shall we?
Dead of the Week
Santana Moss III: Witchington lineman; Block
Nathaniel Dell: Houston catcher; Block
Dennis ''Another Way To Die'' Dork: ChicagOrkz lineman; Dirty Player
Ryan Wisniewski [UWW]: New York catcher; +MA, Block, Guard, Dodge, Side Step
Crius the Smooth: Hennessey catcher; no skills
Xavier Woods: Cryptolina lineman; Kick, Strip Ball
Owen Carney: Floridaman lineman; Brawler, Fend
Michael Phelps: Baltimore lineman; Sure Hands
Dennis O'Neil [STL]: Cleaved Land beastman; Block, Tackle, Dodge, Side Step
J. Patrick Allen: Buffalo runner; Pass, Kick, Nerves of Steel, Cannoneer, Safe Pass
Death of the Week: This week’s deaths posed an interesting dilemma. One dead player with very little in what would seem useful skills was seeing a boost in support due to a sense that they had been involved in a string of under-the-radar hits, so we sent out our newest team to investigate. The Major Crimes Unit wiretapped like a million phones in order to see if Dennis ''Another Way To Die'' Dork had put in the effort necessary to qualify for Death of the Week while serving as a lowly DP lineman. Their findings were the following: he killed Surfer Dude and Shane "Fraggin" Jones [BK] (I could have sworn he also did in Andre Tippett, but that was actually one of his teammates). He dished out SIs to Walter J. Ong [STL], Steve Tasker, and Kryten is to Blame!. In all, 5 major incidents on 58 fouls… it’s close, but not quite the murder spree the office had assumed. So, unfortunately for the Borkz, we have decided to give DOTW to Ryan Wisniewski, the crippled Kroaks catcher. So… congratulations? Congratulations!
Maimed of the Week
Darrell Green III: Witchington lineman (-AG); Block
Ralph Samuelson [UmGO]: NOLA catcher (-PA); +MA, Sprint, Sure Feet, Juggernaut, Dodge
CJ Stroud: Houston thrower (-AG); Dodge
Aiden Vythethi: Manglesota zombie (-AV); Wrestle, Dauntless
Baker Midfield: Los Angeles lineman (-AG); Wrestle
Lauret Magveil [UCSD]: Jakesonville blitzer (-AG); Tackle, Mighty Blow, Dodge, Guard, Side Step
Willis McGahee: Buffalo lineman (-AV); no skills
Marshawn Lynch: Buffalo lineman (-PA); no skills
Fred the Rock [KAMU]: Trans-Fat lineman (-PA); Guard, Mighty Blow, Grab, Block, Shadowing
Rat Smith: Denver lineman (-PA); no skills
Total NI this week: 17
Total MNG this week: 19
Total stat busts this week: 10
Total deaths this week: 11
Grand total SI/RIP: 57 |
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