21 coaches online • Server time: 08:32
Index Search Usergroups Profile
Log in
Recent Forum Topics goto Post Norse starting roste...goto Post Should I fire -MAx2 ...goto Post Replays
Post new topic   Reply to topic
View previous topic Log in to check your private messages View next topic

Joined: Jun 13, 2005

Post   Posted: Apr 23, 2007 - 02:27 Reply with quote Back to top

Ashbutter Wildwind hurriedly waddled down the long, dank corridor from the locker room towards the brightness of the stadium entrance ahead. As he shifted the heavy lantern from one hand to the other his clipboard slipped and papers spilled upon the floor. Ashbutter muttered a curse under his breath and grunted as he bent down to collect the mess.

The now nearer light of the lantern illuminated several roaches, one of which clung to a sheet. The accountant let out a girlish shriek and violently shook the balance sheet until the bug released and went sailing through the air back down the blackness of the hallway. “I should have listened to Father,” Ashbutter almost sobbed.

The year 2501 was one that every Blood Bowl fan remembers. During a press conference after a match between the Galadrieth Gladiators and the Elfheim Eagles both Lucien and Valen Swift, sick of being classed as second rate players amongst the now money filled High Elf teams announce their joint retirement effective immediately. However, as many retired players have found out, the cheers of the crowd and the sight and sounds of a crunching tackle or a glorious catch are difficult to stay away from. Two months later, the Swift brothers announce they are forming their own team without any backings from the Elven Kingdoms.

Finally walking out into the daylight of the midmorning sun, the accountant lowered the flame of his lantern and squinted at the several dozen elves spread across the dusty pitch of the old facility. Spotting the team owner pacing along the far sideline, he sighted a way around the action to deliver the bad news to her.

Ashbutter made his way down towards the pitch through the break in the bleachers. Once proud, they now were warped from the weather and saw very few spots where the paint had not peeled from them. He had to watch where he walked as the steps had also cracked and crumbled and his heavy footsteps made a crunching sound as he proceeded.

Investing their combined savings Lucien and Valen rent out a training ground and purchase 16 blue and orange uniforms (blue from the Gladiators and orange from the
Eagles). Immediately they are overwhelmed by many old team-mates and rivals as well as many younger Elves who do not want to play alongside the Princes of the High Elf
teams. After a gruelling summer training camp, the two brothers pick the 16 players to be the first to wear the Swifts uniform.

Several players turned their attention away from the drills being run on the field to the gasping, portly Ashbutter making his way behind the nearside bench towards the North endzone. Being so heavy was a rare condition for all but the oldest and wealthiest of High Elves and those waiting their turn to tryout nudged one another and snickered at the accountant.

Ashbutter didn’t hear any of the comments, but he could sense them as if they were a bad magic hanging in the air. Back over his shoulder he threatened them, “Let’s not forget who hands out the payroll around here!” The player’s attention quickly snapped back to the activity in front of them. “Much better, you cretins,” the accountant muttered to hisself.

During one of their first games Valen Swift notices a silver haired cheerleader throwing a rock perfectly at an unsuspecting opponent near the sidelines (which was on the other side of the pitch and resulted in a KO). Impressed by her throwing abilities, Valen offered the lass a try out for one of the Swifts' thrower positions. She aces the tryout and Lauriala Vinetree dons Valen Swifts old face mask and becomes the first female thrower for a non-Amazon Blood Bowl team. In her first game she throws two touchdown passes to Highelm Lyrpadre and runs for another against the Altdorf Underachievers.

As Ashbutter rounded the Northwest corner of the pitch, he heard a loud popping sound. One of those trying out for a catcher position caught the ball and made his move to escape the defender, only to blow out his knee in the process. The injured player writhed in pain as the apothecary grabbed his bag and brushed past the accountant.

Ashbutter reached out a managed to grab the back of his sleeve. Pulling him back closer to him he whispered in his ear, “Ith’thitz, nothing heroic out there. We’re not paying for the spell ingredients of someone who’s obviously not going to make the team!”

The apothecary starred back at Ashbutter in near disbelief and seemed to almost turn green in disgust. Ith’thitz yanked his sleeve away from the grasp of the accountant and hurried off to attend to the fallen catcher. “You’re a real piece of work, you know that?” he taunted the accountant over his shoulder as he ran onto the pitch.

Lauriala in only her second year breaks Harg Vainkill's passing record with 157 passes thrown for 2321 paces. All the passing records in Blood Bowl, however, cannot help the Swifts as they find themselves going into the Majors with a depleted squad due to old injuries catching up with many of the veteran players. The team is forced to drop out
of the Spike! Tournament to setup a training camp for a new generation of facemasks, spikes and mohawks. Now Continually setting the throwing world on fire Lauriala
Vinetree goes from strength to strength under the tuition of Valen Swift. In three years she has become the best thrower in the tournament circuit with her unnerving
accuracy. As many of her male opponents have found out, she has a bullet throw that will bring tears to any man's eyes. With Lucien Swift coaching the up and coming young
blitzers and with former Eagles catchers Highelm Lyrpadre and Ibrahim Goldawn, the team has become a dangerous combination of beauty, youthfulness and experience.

Ashbutter paused to catch his breath when he finally reached Lauriala. “A surprise seeing you down here, Ash,” she begrudgingly acknowledged the accountants presence. Lauriala slapped her clipboard across Ashbutter’s belly and blew on her whistle. “O.k. guys, that’s a wrap for this morning. I’ll see you all back here after lunch,” she announced to those trying out on the pitch. Lauriala turned her attention back to the accountant, “I take it the numbers aren’t looking good?”

Ashbutter still clutched the clipboard against his stomach as he brandished his accounting statements. “The team needs to tighten up, Lauriala,” he announced in his best stern voice. “By my calculations we’ll only have enough to sign two skill positions, and 11 players total will be all the club can afford. Oh, and no apothecary,” Ashbutter announced the last bit with a touch of glee in his voice.

“Eleven players and no apothecary?” Lauriala sighed. “I fear this team of mine may be finished before they ever get out of the gate!” She stared at the ground in a moment of reflection.

“Well, Lauriala,” the accountant broke the brief silence. “The E.L.F. is about to begin its next season. Anyone can stay on Ulthuan and play other elves. Only the best and bravest step out into the Old World to play for accolades and glory! And I’ve been told the cuisine of the Human realms is truly and experience…”

Lauriala’s laughter cut off Ashbutter mid-sentence. “No guts, no glory, eh Ashbutter?”

Background sources: Blood Bowl Background

"Don't expect mercy."

Last edited by pizzamogul on Jun 19, 2007 - 17:19; edited 2 times in total

Joined: Oct 07, 2004

Post   Posted: Apr 23, 2007 - 02:42 Reply with quote Back to top

/me stands and applauds. The first 2 paragraphs were great. Unfortunetly my A.D.H.D. provents me from reading anything more than that. Ill pop a couple Cocertas and return for the ending later.

The Drunker I get, the more I spill
"Keggie is the guy with the bleach blond hair that gives answers nobody else would think of."

Joined: Sep 05, 2006

Post   Posted: Apr 23, 2007 - 03:38 Reply with quote Back to top

Great fluff, I was thinking about playing my beloved pros in the ELF this season but I have to now, making a new team as I speak.

Joined: Jun 13, 2005

Post   Posted: Apr 25, 2007 - 03:20 Reply with quote Back to top

The E.L.F. accepts 4 new members into the fold:

Happy Hunting!

"Don't expect mercy."

Joined: Jun 13, 2005

Post   Posted: Apr 25, 2007 - 18:31 Reply with quote Back to top

Welcome to Texan coaching Synn's Academy of Infidels. Yeah, more Pro Elves!

"Don't expect mercy."

Joined: Jun 13, 2005

Post   Posted: Apr 26, 2007 - 15:23 Reply with quote Back to top

Two more Pro Elf teams have stepped up:
Don't miss out! Get your elf team joined up.

"Don't expect mercy."

Joined: Jun 13, 2005

Post   Posted: Apr 27, 2007 - 03:01 Reply with quote Back to top

Another pair of Pro Elf teams are set to go:
Keep 'em coming people!

"Don't expect mercy."

Joined: Jun 13, 2005

Post   Posted: Apr 30, 2007 - 05:42 Reply with quote Back to top

Less than 24 hours till the kickoff of ELF Season XIII!

Still plenty of time to get your elf teams signed up.

"Don't expect mercy."

Joined: Jun 13, 2005

Post   Posted: Apr 30, 2007 - 20:54 Reply with quote Back to top

The ELF welcomes Manbush and the Pro Elf team From The Mind Of John Waters.

Just a few short hours until the kickoff of Season XIII!

"Don't expect mercy."

Joined: Jun 13, 2005

Post   Posted: Apr 30, 2007 - 22:03 Reply with quote Back to top

Another Pro Elf team has signed up as the Kickoff of Season XIII draws near: Ebbw Vale coached by Elfspitter!

"Don't expect mercy."

Joined: Jun 13, 2005

Post   Posted: May 01, 2007 - 22:12 Reply with quote Back to top

One more Pro Elf team for your viewing pleasure: Stormbringers of Imrryr coached by Whitesun.

Don't just sit there reading this... get signed up!

"Don't expect mercy."

Joined: Jun 13, 2005

Post   Posted: May 03, 2007 - 01:15 Reply with quote Back to top

The ELF hails the arrival of another Pro Elf team: <3's of Oak coached by mistermurphy!

"Don't expect mercy."

Joined: Jun 13, 2005

Post   Posted: May 04, 2007 - 18:47 Reply with quote Back to top

PeteW is looking for a new challenge and has entered some Pro Elves: To Sleep, Perchance to Dream.

Still lots of time to play, get your team signed up!!!

"Don't expect mercy."

Joined: Jun 13, 2005

Post   Posted: May 06, 2007 - 14:04 Reply with quote Back to top

Another pair of Pro Elf teams offered up to the slaugh... er, show:
Still lots and lots of time for you to make a Pro Elf team and get signed up!

"Don't expect mercy."

Joined: Jun 13, 2005

Post   Posted: May 08, 2007 - 14:07 Reply with quote Back to top

E.L.F. Season XIII Snapshot Standings


51 active teams in the first week of play in Season XIII with 21 of them Pro Elves – a great start to the season!

8 of the top 10 teams in the standings are Pro Elves with Synn's Academy for Infidels (coached by Texan) in the early lead with 391 points in the 1st week of play! Popes of Mope sits in 2nd place with 357 points and From The Mind Of John Waters isn’t far back with 335. Altogether, 6 teams broke the 300 point mark in week #1. 3 more teams into the 200s and 7 past the century mark.

All 5 categories are currently held by Pro Elves. Synn's Academy for Infidels holds Category A. ELF Life Forms has Category B. Emperor's Own is in control of Category C. And Elf Stones skipped into Category D and E in week #1. Let’s see how long the Pro Elves can hold them all!

5 cycles completed in week #1 – surely a record! Congrats to Looks Hot in Leather – High Elves – and to woodland fawns – Wood Elves – for carrying the banner for these races against the tide of Pro Elves. Who will be the 1st Dark Elves to accomplish the feat this season? And seeking out the honor of having their names etched in the ‘Pro’ Hall of Fame, three Pro Elf teams completed the cycle in week #1:Image

Congrats to you all!

The standings are as follow:

1 Synn's Academy for Infidels - 391*
2 Popes of Mope - 357*
3 From The Mind Of John Waters - 335*
4 Elf Stones - 329
5 ELF Life Forms - 317
6 Boundless Spirits - 304
7 Looks Hot in Leather - 272*
8 Horrible Slaughter - 252
9 Emperor's Own - 234
10 Lords Of Purple - 159
11 Nous Sommes Ici Incognito - 146
12 woodland fawns - 146*
13 Pro Elf and I Vote! - 143
14 Fallen Angels of Enoch - 143
15 Champions of Nature - 141
16 Everything Fails - 110
17 Har Ganeth Hawks - 96
18 __Synndicate__ - 87
19 Stormbringers of Imrryr - 86
20 Copenhagen Royal Ballet - 83
21 Coulda Been A Contenda - 80
22 Nimtal - 75
23 Conquests by the Broken Sword - 68
24 Great Quest - 62
25 Forest Fools - 59
26 Cothique Cougars - 59
27 Woodburns E.L.F - 54
28 Hangovers ELF - 49
29 ...of a Dark Revolution - 45
30 KB - 35
31 True North Demagogues - 30
32 British Beauties - 30
33 L-Plates - 30
34 Fragile - Handle With Care - 30
35 City of Blinding Lights - 23
36 Kjoebenhavns Boldklub - 21
37 Philosophers Rocking Chair - 21
38 To Sleep, Perchance to Dream - 19
39 Fforestcyfrinachol - 19
40 Even Silence Speaks - 18
41 Ying Yang Girls - 14
42 Soul Caliburs - 12
43 Regal Critters - 12
44 Birch Bombers - 12
45 Ninja Rap - 10
46 Agenzia Alfa - 10
47 Ebbw Vale - 6
48 MK Chargers - 6
49 Microchoir - 6
50 ELF Fodder - 6
51 Sylvan Sentinels – 4

A Synn's Academy for Infidels (Elf) - 138
B ELF Life Forms (Elf) - 76
C Emperor's Own (Elf) - 68
D Elf Stones (Elf) - 87
E Elf Stones (Elf) - 82


In the race for the chance to sport the Golden Gloves Award – bestowed upon the Pro Elf team with the greatest positive touchdown differential among reported games – the standings are as follows:

Pro Elf Challenge
1 Elf Stones - 28
2 Popes of Mope - 19
3 ELF Life Forms - 16
4 Synn's Academy for Infidels - 13
5 Emperor's Own - 11
6 Boundless Spirits - 10
7 From The Mind Of John Waters - 10
8 Stormbringers of Imrryr - 7
9 Pro Elf and I Vote! - 5
10 Horrible Slaughter - 4
11 KB - 4
12 Everything Fails - 3
13 L-Plates - 3
14 British Beauties - 1
15 Coulda Been A Contenda - 0
16 Kjoebenhavns Boldklub - 0
17 To Sleep, Perchance to Dream - 0
18 Highland Harriers - 0
19 El Foro - 0
20 Games Workshop All-Stars - 0
21 Kopite Legends - 0
22 Sims - 0
23 ChanElf No. 1 - 0
24 Subtle Glory - 0
25 A Little Gaulish Village - 0
26 Voting is For Sissies - 0
27 Stinging Cherries - 0
28 Hawkheim Harlequins - 0
29 Marienburg Sea Elves - 0
30 Lamers R Us - 0
31 Stony Man Doctrine - 0
32 Gods of Midkemia - 0
33 Glory Daze - 0
34 Tor Anroc Talons - 0
35 Cloak and Dagger - 0
36 Ebbw Vale - -2
37 MK Chargers - -2
38 ELF Fodder - -2
39 Sylvan Sentinels - -4

Note: The touchdown differential is “straight points” for this challenge. That means no doubling for categories – every TD counts only as “1.”

Still lots and lots of time to get your team involved. Go to the group page to join. If you’re already signed up, start playing! Pro Elf teams encouraged to participate!

"Don't expect mercy."
Display posts from previous:     
 Jump to:   
All times are GMT + 1 Hour
Post new topic   Reply to topic
View previous topic Log in to check your private messages View next topic