| Poll |
| Who is teh sexiest OBBA star? |
| The Duke |
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49% |
[ 26 ] |
| The Duke |
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50% |
[ 27 ] |
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| Total Votes : 53 |
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mrbibitte3
Joined: Mar 28, 2013
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 Posted:
Nov 05, 2015 - 18:04 |
 
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MLS midseason analysis
At the midpoint of the 23rd MLS season, our analyst takes a brief look on each team.
 10 Philadelphia WAAAGH! (1-0-7)
Truly a season to forget for the WAAAGH! Only one win this season... against the Steamrollers ! They still got a chance to redeem themselves against the Crew and the Congs but don't expect much except some violence. With an overall CAS Diff of +74, the WAAAGH! certainly isn't a shiny shooting star, it's a meteorite. BAM ! Big showmanship ! As every fan will tell you, who care for the ball !? GO! WAAAGH! GO!
 9 St. Louis Steamrollers (2-0-4)
Here is a team we consider a strong possible wildcard. A 2-0-4 record isn't so bad considering the road traveled. The Steamrollers dutifully beat all the weakest teams and got systematically crushed by all the power houses, hinting it could have it's place in the middle-class. Now, upper-middle-class or lower-middle-class that's what's left to know but one thing is sure, they're gonna be heavily taxed !
 8. D. Cong United (1-2-2)
The Congs' top-end talent is elite, but the winds of luck often put extra pressure on chimpanzees Steady Eddie and Fabulous Fabian. But still, provided they stay injury-free, there's a real chance they could glide mid-standing and snatch a playoff spot if... and that's a BIG if... they find a way to distract the Walkers and the Pounders from beating the bananas out of them.
 7. FC Edmonton (2-0-4)
After a really disastrous start Edmonton bounced back against the Congs and the WAAAGH!... Not necessarily trophies to brag about to mommy, but still, a win is a win. Before that bounce, Edmonton squished real good and their players had sometimes difficulties to get back up running after the ball - the team werewolves' specialty. Face-offs against the Walkers and the Pounders are left for Edmonton. Do you really need a prediction ?
 6. Timisoara Dragons (1-0-2)
The Dragons managed to bag their usual seasonal win against the WAAAGH!. It could be good news if it wasn't that it could also be their last win since well-developped Count Masterlich smashed it's collar bone in the process. Talk about a Pyrrhus victory ! Just to add to their misfortunes, they still have to face the Walkers and the Chimps before season ends.
 5. Columbus Death Crew (2-1-3)
The Crew are living up to their jokers reputation, this season settling down on the 5th spot instead of 1st or last. Always closely contesting the best MLS team, they are still hampered by an absence of quality positionals... but hell do they have good supporting players !!! End of season should be positive, but hey, with the Crew you just never know !
 4. Milan Gladiators (3-1-3)
The Gladiators have a strong three-headed monster with O. Onyewu, A. Nocerino and D. Adiyiah. It's hard to stop three efficient weapons and only the Chimps, Walkers and Crew managed it this season. The Gladiators still have a big last test against the Pounders before their season ends... but it's not like an opponent is breathing in their neck.
3. Chimpanzee United (5-0-2)
After a very slow start, the Chimps finally found their strides and they are big ones with a 5 win streak! Having carved a comfortable cushion in the standings, they are now unlikely to be caught. The Dragons and the Steamrollers are left in their way and the Chimps are in position to prey on the Walkers in the unlikely event they get stopped cold.
 2. Vancouver WHITE Walkers (5-0-1)
This bunch of no-brainers is legit, but since ghoul The Bug! has been impacted by his fractured leg, there's a reasonable chance the Pounders will probably just extend their division lead. The Walker's end of season -should- be positive if not neutral with some games left against Edmonton and the Dragons. Seing how Vancouver fared until now, it should only be a formality.
 1. Seattle Pounders (7-0-0)
Skink Stefanotl steals balls like candies from a baby. They are the best team in the MLS, well sit behind a sneaky good (and brawly) defense. The real question is, can they keep going undefeated ? The pressure to crash the party is now on the Gladiators. |
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Village_Idiot
Joined: Mar 09, 2009
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Nov 05, 2015 - 18:57 |
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Cool writeup.
Yeah, it's been a rough year for the WAAAGH, points-wise. Some of that is inheriting the record of the pointless simyin team that preceded them. A couple of games got lost that shouldn't have been lost for any legitimate reason. That's how it goes sometimes.
Fortunately, we had a decent game against the pounders just recently, so that should set us up well to murder the snot out of the DC united. Our only goal is a TPK and the western shore. |
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DatMonsta
Joined: May 27, 2009
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Nov 05, 2015 - 22:18 |
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Premierleague, round 6
Game 1 CA Bloca Juniors vs Scourgehampton
Bashfactor: 0,9 vs 2,0; Scourgehampton showing what they are feared for: hitting hard
Ballhandling: 0,5 vs 0,8; Well, what did you expect of a game between necros and chaos?
Ballstealing: 1,0 vs 0,0; The Juniors had some good attempts... but where outmanned to profit from those
Fan-Selfamusement: 0,7; Just some regular brawls on the ranks, the fans did like what they saw on the pitch
Fan-Statement: Good game, good slaughter... but Scourgehampton is really weak in protecting their carrier
Game Summary:
Chaos received first and marched forward, but losing their Mino in turn 2 did not make it easy for them. A fast Wolve pushed through to mark the ballcarrier and snakes stopped the Scourgehampton killer Joes Fonte to slaughter him. Another Werewolf came through and they took down the Chaos ballcarrier and Raul Rivas ran in the 1:0 just when the first half was half over.
Not guarding their ballcarrier well enough ended the hope for the 1:1 in first half, the guy was surrounded right at turn 8 after Scourgehampton brought several players in goal distance. No chance to escape for a pass, half was over.
In the second half Bloca stated their offense with just 9 players, tried to push over the right flank but screwed up a hand-off close to the midline. Scourgehampton used that chance, surrounded the ball (while taking out some more opponents) and the Necros where forced to use their mercenry wizard to haul a huge fireball down the field... taking two beatmen to the ground. It wasn't enough, Baloce never got back the ball, being chopped down to six players quickly. They tried well... but had too few guys left and some not very good 1-dice-blitzes at the ballcarrier.
Speedy Rickie Lambert scored just when the final whistle blew.
Final result: 1 : 1
Game 2 Watford Hornhits vs Beitar Jerusalem
Bashfactor: 1,3 vs 1,5; Nice bloody match, with three ended careers
Ballhandling: 0,5 vs 1,1; The ball was like a doorhandle... touched by everybody
Ballstealing: 1,3 vs 0,8; The ball was more often on the ground than in someone's hand... kind of
Fan-Selfamusement: 0,0; Wow, that was a thrilling game with twists and turns over and over.. most fans even forgot that they could do anything else than watch the action on the grass.
Fan-Statement: Wow... just wow... the game is over and I still have a full cup of beer and all the rocks i brought... that was some intense s**t to watch
Game Summary:
Beitar started the first half and build a solid offensive wall... just to make it thick, not wide. Luther Blissett IV just circled around it, smashing the necro ballcarrier to the ground, laughing about their dumbness. But it was a trap! he was brought to the ground and a well placed boot from fouling ace Seanan Clucas delivered him to the ko-box. Both teams exchanged blocks and fouls for the next turns with Jerusalem being more successful, removing 3 Watfordians. They broke through.. and a guy with a pointy hat bombed the ballcarrying Dani Preda out of the game and into retirement. The ball was loose, a bullcentaur took it just to be flattened by the angry Werewolf legend Hen Azriel . Hen grabbed the ball, ran to the goalline... and tripped over his own feet. Pro-fouler Heidar Helguson II saw his (and his teams last) chance to prevent a necro score, picked up the ball and kicking the roaring Werewolf right in his jewels... off the furry dude was, packing icebags between his legs. Heitars afford wasn't enough... a big Golem came, blocked him to the ground and a lonely Beitar-fan threw the ball right in the open field, where Omer Atzili took it to score at turn 8.
Second half starting 11 vs 10 (Azriel still needing medical care at his private parts), but Watford missing their ag4 bull after that juicy boot in turn 2. Receiving wasn't the best for the Hornhits, their carrierprotection was weak and so mighty Cristian Alvarez popped the ball loose right in turn 10 after Beitar was down to 8 players. A huge fight about the ball started while, beside that, Kenny Jackett III took revenge at Seanan Clucas for fouling that hard in turn two. He smashed the zombie, ending his carrier.
Somehow Beitar managed to get the ball out of the trouble and racing it towards the chaosdwarves endzone. They were hunted but it took some turns to get that ball back into bullcentaurhands... too late to equalize, with just 6 Hornhit players left... and 4 of them being dwarves locked in fights close to the LoS.
Final result: 0 : 1
Game 3 Pro-Russia Dortmund vs Barmbek Bloodletic
Bashfactor: 1,0 vs 2,9; No one had mighty blow? Sure? Those Darkies are mean Mofos!
Ballhandling: 3,1 vs 1,7; Pro-Russia is simply the best ballerteam in the league. Period!
Ballstealing: 1,3 vs 0,8; With those teams on the pitch the ball is NEVER save
Fan-Selfamusement: 1,2; Fun match... but riots between the good and the bad elves all over the place
Fan-Statement: Have you seen Hummelskin... and... and ... and... that last Blitz? OMG!
Game Summary:
Barmbek was allowed to start the first half, witch a conservative offence meeting a conservative defense. The Darkelves moved slowly forward, fouling two good Dortmundplayers to the dugout. Dortmund tried to disturb them by putting a screen between the backfield ballcarrier and his teammates, but it was broken easily and Torureem Clawkiller cought a pass to run towards the endzone. But playing against and agile team meant he had to score fast... and tripped close to the endzone! Ball recovery from Bloods Hummelskin, but the planned receiver was out of range for a pass, so Dortmund tried to secure him and the ball with a screen... but they weren't able, Bloodletics agile master Torureem made it better than last turn, took Hummelskin down with one dice and picked the up the ball in the endzone... 0:1.
Now it was time for the offense of the Pro-Russen, and after Torurem made his next mistake by snaking a dodge early in the turn it was nearly too easy for Psycho Immobilitsch to score after a nice pass by Nuri Sawhinovitsch.
2 Turns left in the first half, the Darkelves receiving again. A hard block at the LoS by Nyvorlas Shadowslash III. ended the life of a first game rookie from Dortmund and Barmbek was abled to send three players in touchdown range and secure the ball in a strong cage behind the LoS. Then they realized that even a cage isn't a save place against Bloods Hummelskin, he dodged right in and downed the carrier with ease. After some scatters and pushes the ball landed right in the hands of Killvin Großkotzski and the Darkelves weren't able to get it back. It was again Torureem Clawkiller who failed, by not landing his Blitz-leap, and the ball was handed to Marco Reusoska to make it 2:1 for halftime.
2nd half, and Dortmund started with a OTTD by Psycho Immobilitsch after a quick snap. A little risky, but Barmbek had still a wizard in their back pocked. 3:1 after turn 9.
Another Kick-Off, another push by the Darkelves. This time everything went grat, and the three ag5-blitzers from them worked perfectly together... hand-off, leap, pass, catch, TD by Nanav Wisewolf VII.! 3:2, turn 10, game seemed to be quite open again.
The next kick-off came along with a massive riot by the fans, they stormed the pitch and lots of players were beaten up. 6 Darkelves stunned, only one Pro-Elf... that was a clear statement by the fans. Dortmund spread all over the pitch and even the brave attempt by a witchelf to cover Dortmund thrower did not help, again a good pass and the Pros stood directly close to the endzone of Barmbek, Hummelskin, holding the ball. Barmbek gave all to put some pressure on them, but wasted a their last Re-Roll. No more stalling, 4:2 in turn 13.
Barmbek in possesion of the ball again, same tactic as always, pushing over their left flank, thsi time with hurting an opponent. A unnecessary pass attempt made Gilgash Ghosthunter drop the ball (bad timing without a RR) and the backfield was swarmed by the usual suspects, Bloods, Psycho and Marco who picked up the ball. Finally the wizard came into play, shocking Marco to free the ball. But the Darkelf fails weren't over, Gilgash snaked the ball to pick-up the ball and it was more than easy for Bloods Hummelskin to run in his secont TD, the fifth for his team in turn 15.
Offense for Barmbek again, they rushed forward over their right flank with all players they had. Gilgash Ghosthunter with the ball, already in touchdownrange... but again it was Hummelskin who dodged liek a ghost through the opponents just to grab Barmbeks starplayer by the neck... and rip of his head. Tota silence in the stadium, no one expected such aggression by Dortmunds statfreak. The onrushing apothecary could do nothing, even black magic couldn't help. Super star Gilgash Ghosthunter was no more, even triple stat-upgrades did not help against such a brutal attack. Few people noticed that Dortmund secured the ball and the game ended 5:2, everybody was shocked or hyper-amazed by that massive Blitz.
Final result: 5 : 2
Game 4 Accrington Stanley Originals vs Tranmare Rovers
No working record available... all statements based on faninterviews
Bashfactor: incalculable; Hard hitting Khemris dominated the bashwar
Ballhandling: incalculable; Not really a highlight here, except the only scorer
Ballstealing: incalculable; Happend for sure
Fan-Selfamusement: incalculable; Khemri vs Undead... must have been boring
Fan-Statement: Sorry, really can't remember what happened... maybe I wasn't even there?
Game Summary:
Hard to tell how the game was... But let's try.
Accrington received first half but wasn't agile enough to score in 8 turns. Second half the Rovers where allowed to try their luck, but couldn't break the defense and where beaten up left and right. Outstanding player on the side of the Originals was Jimmy Armstrong with 3 cas.
The Rovers lost the ball somewhere in the brawl and Jimmy Anders somehow caught it to walk it in vs very few left Rovers. Another remarkable happening: Finally the career of Joe Thompson was ended with his fourth! permanent injury. Another Starplayer down.
Final result: 1 : 0
Game 5 Ragenham 'n Dedbridge vs Swampsea City
Bashfactor: 2,9 vs 0,3; Frogs lost too many players to compete with the Undead... a known tactic of Ragenham
Ballhandling: 0,3 vs 0,3; Yeah, some pickups... but that isn't proper ballhandling
Ballstealing: 0,4 vs 0,4; Mediocre show by both teams
Fan-Selfamusement: 1,2; Fans partying on the stands... and on the pitch
Fan-Statement: Nice fight... on the stands, not on the pitch
Game Summary:
The Undead received first and try to bring their ghouls forward. A very correct ref saw the very soft foul-attempt of Neven Suboticov and did send him right off...not a good day for fouling. Shortly after, Dedbridge tried to cage the ballcarrying Ghoul at the LoS, but ballhunter Neill Taylor II easily leaped in to ko the carrier and pop the ball loose. Now a rough fight began about the ball, some turns everybody tried to surround the ball. It took till the half was half over before another ghoul finally picked up the ball and moved it forward. he survived one more frog attack and brought the ball close to the endzone before being forced to score in turn 7. Well done Louis "Nom Nom" Suarez, the crippled Super Star of Ragenham.
Two turns Left for Swampsea but a pitchinvasion downed the dedicated Quarterback leaving the frogs without a possible passer who could pick up the very deep kicked ball. Swampsea wasn't able to pick it up and so the half ended 1:0.
In half 2 nothing remarkable happened till turn 11, when the first linefrog was hurt by the skeleton Joey "The Philosopher" Barton and mega-fouler Kevin "Dirty Boot" Davies showed what he is known for: trampling an opponet to death! The City-apoth was needed to save the life of Jose Canas II.
Having left just 9 players Swampsea wasn't abled to break through and was stopped right behing the middle line. Sung-Yeung Ki II had the chance to score, but failed to catch a hand-off to leave the ball quite open. It was his last fail ever... he was carried away in a coffin after Diego “The Beast” Costa rammed him his fist in the chest a minute later.
With just 7 frogs left, Swapsea had too few time left to try another offensive move, so the game ended with just the one touchdown from first half.
Final result: 1 : 0 |
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uzkulak
Joined: Mar 30, 2004
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Nov 05, 2015 - 23:02 |
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Im not quite sure how you did it with no footage, but that is a pretty fair write up of what happened in the Originals - Tranmare game.
Nice interesting write ups of all the games - great work! |
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Meanandugl
Joined: Feb 05, 2013
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Nov 06, 2015 - 00:02 |
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indeed very good write ups DatMonsta. Brought back the awful memory of our match and Gilgash' death. |
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Doofr
Joined: Nov 04, 2015
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Nov 06, 2015 - 05:04 |
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When start your new season? Im a new player on Fumblle, and i like the spirit of your league?
It would be possible to join your league next season? |
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Medon
Joined: Jan 28, 2015
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Nov 06, 2015 - 13:21 |
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Press release: OBBA officials will start an official investigation into one of the OBBA officials. There are rumors of supposed family ties between one of the referees active in League One, and one of the coaches active in League One. According to PSV coach Medon, Naoned coach Subs admitted last match to having a twin brother that would occasionally help him out. Suddenly it stroke Medon that there was a striking resemblance between Subs and the ref, whose name was Dubs. The fact that three elves were fouled to death without any interference by the ref was very suspicious indeed. Further investigation into Dubs history revealed he was also the ref in the match of Naoned versus Elverton BBC, in which three more elves were fouled to death. The investigation of fraud will not be investigated by George, because he is involved in various inquiries elsewhere. To ensure an honest investigation OBBA contracted a neutral external committee chairman, named Hubs. Hubs: "We take this investigation very seriously. We know Naoned Spiked Shoe always wears velvet boots during the match so the first conclusion to which we will jump is that the allegation of foul play by Naoned is nonsense. After that, we will perform gruesome experiments to show that elves are so squishy, they can spontaneously die on the pitch even when barely touched. This is surely the most logical explanation for the recent player losses by PSV and Elverton." |
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Medon
Joined: Jan 28, 2015
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Nov 06, 2015 - 13:38 |
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@Doofr: send a pm to pythrr, maybe you can still replace a drop out in the conference division for the last two rounds of this season. |
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Royston
Joined: Dec 05, 2008
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Nov 06, 2015 - 13:56 |
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Bath Rugby Pig has gone the way of Sam Burgess in this game. Never to play the beautiful game again.
In other news though, I am waiting on my thanks from Coach Throweck for absolutely demolishing Le Zebra Toro's attack for their round 8 clash. |
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Throweck
Joined: Feb 23, 2013
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Nov 06, 2015 - 13:59 |
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Royston
Joined: Dec 05, 2008
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Nov 06, 2015 - 14:34 |
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I expect repayment in round 9. Especially if I'm in the relegation zone. |
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Subs
Joined: Jun 12, 2013
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Nov 06, 2015 - 14:45 |
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Press release too:In response of the disgusting Coach Medon's accusations, Naoned Olympic Velvet Shoe is in touch with his lawyer to claim financiary compensation for defamation against both PSV and BBC elves teams.
The judge in charge of the trial would declare:
"Elves capacity of spontaneously die on the pitch(or wherever they want...)is a well know cultural line of this decadent people and, as long as i will be called Judge Zubs, the Naoned Olympic Velvet Coach's integrity will not be questionned!"
Coach Subs is waiting serenely the verdict and the money. |
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Medon
Joined: Jan 28, 2015
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Nov 06, 2015 - 16:25 |
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By the way, when I type 'Naoned' my phone automatically changes it to 'Maimed'. Coincidence? Or conspiracy? Who programmed TouchPal auto-correct? Dr. Cubs? The mob is everywhere! |
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Doofr
Joined: Nov 04, 2015
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Nov 06, 2015 - 17:00 |
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| Medon wrote: | | @Doofr: send a pm to pythrr, maybe you can still replace a drop out in the conference division for the last two rounds of this season. |
Thanks for your response.
Pythrr send me a pm, to tell me i had to wait for the knock out cup in december, so i will wait.
Im French, so sorry in advance for my english.
Doofr. |
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Cavetroll
Joined: Jan 21, 2009
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Nov 07, 2015 - 02:28 |
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In regards to the allegations by Medon against Subs, while I don't discount the possibility of the ref being his brother and favoring him in his matchups, it is a well known Blood Bowl fact that elves can and do die spontaneously every time they take the pitch. The LA Galaxy know this to be true. |
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nerf indigo 2016 |
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