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cowhead



Joined: Oct 22, 2006

Post   Posted: Feb 25, 2015 - 09:54 Reply with quote Back to top

Welcome to
On The Grind
Season 3 Play-off and Final

Sponsored by Cabalvision

B -"Welcome sports fans to tonight's episode of On The Grind, I'm Barty Silk."

T -"And I'm Thundgrim Ironside."

B -"Tonight we have spectacular episode."

T -"Aye, that's right Barty. We will be bringing you all the action from the South Eastern and North Western Divisions Play-off games."

B -"And if that wasn't enough for you. We'll have all the action from the final itself where the Season three Grind champion will be crowned."

T -"Let's take a look at how the teams line up."


South Eastern Play-off
Sartosa Shipwrecks vs Pavona Parole Program

North Western Play-off
Blighted Marshes Brawlers vs Skurvy Buccaneers

B -"So in the South East we have two Human teams. The reigning champions the Sartosa Shipwrecks against the only team to have ever beaten them the Pavona Parole Program."

T -"That's right Barty. These two teams have met twice before the first game ended in a stalemate and the second the Parolees came out on top. Do the Shipwrecks have what it takes to put past ghosts behind them."

B -"The game saw the Parolees receive first but some stalwart defending by the Shipwrecks held the Parolees at bay for most of the half. The Parolees tried to break down one of the wings but Ignacio of the Shipwrecks managed to pop the ball free and Pipes was there to spirit the ball away."

T -"Things started to go horribly wrong for the Parolees after that. As the talented Ogre Blasio took a horrific fall which cost him his life."

B -"The look of horror and glee on the crowds face as his body was hauled off the pitch is why I love this game Thundgrim."

T -"Aye, although the Parolees coach looked sick to the stomach."

B -"The Shipwrecks took full advantage of the Parolees misery and were soon one nil up. The Parolees never really recovered from that devastating blow and soon more players found themselves in the injury box."

T -"The Shipwrecks took no quarter as Pipes ran in a few more touchdowns securing a four zero victory for the Shipwrecks. The coach of the Parolees was seen leaving the stadium quickly after the game, some say he had a tear in his eye. Whether that tear was for his fallen hero Blasio or his teams disastrous performance only he knows."

B -"Next we have the North Western Play-off which sees two Skaven teams face off against eachother."

T -"These two teams are no stranger to each other having met twice before on the Grind Ball field. The first time saw the Brawlers come away with a fantastic four one victory."

B -"But they met again this season and it ended in a spectacular three all draw."

T -"The Brawlers started receiving and were quickly one up. Then some early mistakes on the Buccaneers drive led to another quick touchdown for the Brawlers. The Buccaneers hit back hard seriously injuring fearsome Rat Ogre Rirkz but another mistake allowed the Brawlers to steal another touchdown."

B -"The second half didn't really show any improvement from the Buccaneers who kept on making mistakes. this allowed the Brawlers to get a fourth. The Buccaneers finally pierced the Brawlers defence to get a consolatory touchdown and also managed to take out star gutter runner Fugrat one Ear."

T -"There was just time for the Brawlers to get a fifth and final touchdown. Final score five one to the Brawlers."

B -"Wow what a blistering performance by the Brawlers, but with both Rirkz and Fugrat missing for the final they will find it hard to breach the Shipwrecks Defence."

T -"They sure will Barty, and the Shipwrecks come into the game with full squad and what a strong squad it is."

B -"They sure have some great players. The Brawlers will definitely need luck on their side going into the final."


Championship Final
Sartosa Shipwrecks vs Blighted Marshes Brawlers

T -"Amazingly these two teams have never met on the Grind Ball field before."

B -"Is that right Thundgrim? Well I bet the Brawlers wish they were in better shape for this game."

T -"Aye, the injuries they suffered may well cost them the final."

B -"On with the game. The Shipwrecks lined up to kick the ball and before the Brawlers had even finished setting up the Shipwrecks were behind their defence and Pipes had the ball in his hands."

T -"The Brawlers tried to contain him but some space was made for him and one nil to the Shipwrecks."

B -"Can you believe it, the Shipwrecks have done it again. Those Rats really need to wake up."

T -"Not once but twice Pipes has managed to get in behind the Brawlers defence and catch Donatos' kick. not even a quarter of the first half is gone and the Shipwrecks already have a two touchdown advantage."

B -"The Shipwrecks set up to kick again, surely not again?"

T -"Not quite this time Barty, but the shipwrecks do anticipate where the ball will land and do a quick shuffle of their defensive set up."

B -"This is not going at all well for the Brawlers, with no choice but to try a long pass the ball is loose. A quick scramble and the ball ends up with Pipes who runs in his third of the game."

T -"The Brawlers are pretty shaken up, their coach has withdrawn to the dressing room and the team will have to make do without him."

B -"Again the Shipwrecks shift their defence with another perfect kick from Sergio Donato. This time the long pass plays off but Morbaag has no protection."

T -"Bam, Pipes takes him down and the ball is free once more. The Brawlers can't recover the ball and Pipes has it again. He'll need to stretch if he wants to make it four this half. Naldens on him, he can't shake him, he can't shake him, finally he breaks free. Four nil and the half time whistle sounds."

B -"Well this must horrible for the Brawlers fans, the team can't catch a break it seems."

T -"Aye, some of them are heading back to whatever rock they crawled out of already."

B -"The second half and a deep kick by the Brawlers. Captain Neri sits deep and draws in the Skaven. But a bad pass sees the ball loose. The ball is eventually recovered and is quickly thrown to Pipes, who makes it five nil."

T -"This is a total rout Barty."

B -"It sure is. The Brawlers are just going through the motions now, they want this game to be over. The ball is loose again and rare mistake from Pipes there. But the Brawlers cannot capitalize."

T -"Some back and forth action before the ball finally finds it's way to... Yep, you guessed it Pipes. Who runs in his sixth touchdown, final score six nil to the Shipwrecks."

B -"What a game they had especially Pipes. This game will long be remembered in Grind Ball history."

T -"Well let's face it Barty, the Brawlers never really stood a chance here. Their team was weakened and the Shipwrecks have Calypsos own luck."

B -"Indeed, well that's all we have time for. Join us next season for some more Grind!!!. I've been Barty Silk."

T -"And I've been Thundgrim Ironside. And remember all you Skaven fans better luck next year."

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cowhead



Joined: Oct 22, 2006

Post   Posted: Mar 10, 2015 - 13:20 Reply with quote Back to top

"Aharrr!!!

Th' Madratters kindly be steppin' forward t' give Ignacio his send off.

Th' game started great fer us as Pipes be injurin' th' Ratters Catcher. But he soon be recievin' a boot t' th' head which saw him seein' stars fer th' rest o' th game. He be havin' plenty o' opportunity t' wake but maybe he be feelin' he deserves t' have some rest.

Ignacio was on fine form fer his send off baggin' himself a touchdown 'n then injurin' a Ratter.

Little Vito also be showin' some talent as he be steppin' in t' fill Pipes position while he be restin' up. He be scorin' three touchdowns 'n it seems his pace be improvin' after th' game.

Oh 'n t' give ole Cap'n Neri a headache, Ignacio only gone 'n got himself more agile that one o' them thar' Elves."

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cowhead



Joined: Oct 22, 2006

Post   Posted: May 13, 2015 - 13:16 Reply with quote Back to top

Good morning sports fans and welcome to
On The Grind

Sponsored by Cabalvision

B -"Welcome back to On the Grind, I'm Barty Silk."

T -"And I'm Thundgrim Ironside."

B -"Tonight sees the kick-off of Grinds season four."

T -"On the show this evening we'll be having a look at all the teams and how they line up."

B -"First of all we would like to apologise for missing out on the second CAS tournament, but we were stuck in tough negotiations with the TGC and Cabalvision at that time."

T -"Ok, now lets get the show on the road and take a look at the teams and some players to keep an eye on this season."

B -"To help with this we have a veteran Grindball player in the studio with us."

T -"None other than Rocco Napolitano one of the Shipwrecks original players. Welcome to the studio I was a big fan of the way you used to take a hit."

R -"Thankin' ye Thundgrim, 'n ahoy thar' t' all ye Grinders out thar'."

B -"So lets take a look at some of the new teams first."

R -"Aye, first up be th' winners o' th' CAS th' Town Hall Tavern. This here team have been in fine form since they be formin' up. They have yet t' be facin' defeat 'n must be brimmin' with confidence. They be linin' up without one o' them thar' throwers 'n be usin' one o' thar' two Catchers t' do most o' th' handlin'"

T -"That's right Rocco although they line up in the South Eastern Division which has some big teams in it."

R -"Aye they'll be findin' a right hard time when they face off against me lads from th' Shipwrecks."

B -"Next we have the only new Skaven team, this years CAS runners up the Verezzo Blue Runners."

R -"Aye 'n they be lookin' in rough shape at th' moment Barty. With both thar' thrower 'n one o' thar' Blitzers still recoverin' from that thar' CAS final. I can see this here team strugglin' this here season."

T -"You could be right Rocco, but with three Gutter Runners on the pitch anything could happen. And they have a mighty fine looking star in the making in Hugruck, if he can survive that long."

B -"The War Dogs of Remas are our next new team. This team hit the Amateur open hard and have been getting in a lot of games."

R -"That be right Barty but they don't be havin' th' best record."

T -"They do have some talented players on their squad which could make a difference."

R -"Aye, Roque, th' Older 'n Selma the Cat be lookin' t' be right fine players."

B -"They surely do. Onto the Campogrotta Lions next."

T -"The Lions look like a solid side although they don't have any players that stand out."

R -"They be havin' a nice spread o' skills which be seein' them t' a decent record. But they have yet t' be facin' any o' th' big boys o' Grind 'n will most likely be strugglin' against them."

B -"I think the new boys will all struggle against the veteran sides."

T -"It will be a tough ask for them to get a result that's for sure. Our last new blood are a fine looking bunch out of Irrana."

R -"Yarr, th' Irrana Rangers. They be a sorry lookin' lot if ye be askin' me."

T -"Grrr, although they don't have the greatest of records and their form has been off of late."

B -"They do have a great looking player in Horgar, lets hope he can inspire the team this season."

T -"I'm sure he can. That's it for the new boys, now it's time to look at the old guard, the veterans of Grindball."

B -"First up we have the Black Company of Remas. This team have been quiet since season three only taking to the field once in the open, in a great three one victory over the Vercuso Pearls."

T -"The Black Company only just missed out on a play-off place last season due to touchdown difference. Let's hope with the new scoring system they can improve on last years placing."

R -"Th' Black Company be a fine lookin' side they be havin' nice experienced catchers t' be complimentin' that thar' excellent thrower Brett. They could be causin' a lot of problems t' them thar' other teams."

B -"What worries me about their team is their lack of hitting power. With only three blitzers and no Ogre they could well struggle against some of the stronger teams."

R -"That be a fact Barty."

T -"Next up we have one of the returning original Grind teams the Miragliano Red Pox."

B -"The Red Pox aren't in good shape at the moment and still need to fire a positional player to adhere to the TGCs new squad rulings for this season."

R -"They do be havin' some decent players on thar' team, but no one that really be standin' out. They could be findin' it hard goin' again this year 'n will be needin' t' get th' results against some o' th' new teams t' get a decent placin' in th' league."

T -"Also out of Miragliano are the Miragliano Madratters."

B -"The Ratters have had a torrid time in the open since last season failing to pick up a win, but they have some excellent players on their squad."

R -"Aye, Stinky Pete be th' pick o' th' bunch 'n they be havin' a right fine thrower-catcher combination in Duccio 'n Pisano."

T -"Next up we have the only Elf team in Grind this season the Vercuso Pearls."

B -"The Pearls have had a hard time of it recently with the loss of thrower Faervel and blitzer Delgarathor."

R -"Aye, but they still be havin' some mighty fine talented players on thar' squad. CĂșthor 'n especially that thar' Uthaestor. Although since he be pickin' up that thar' injury he be spendin' an awful lot o' his time gettin' knocked off o' th' pitch."

T -"Aye, if he wasn't already a target he sure is now. If the Pearls can keep there players on the pitch they will always cause their opposition problems. I expect a high placing from them again this time round."

B -"We have the Alessandria Titans who will be taking part in their first full season of Grind, although they have been taking part in the open scene for a while now."

R -"Yarr, them thar'Titans look t' be a formidable lot. They be havin' some talented players on that thar' team with a decent backbone in them thar' blitzers. If Jerry "Rev" Harris can be connectin' well with catcher Donald Faison then they be havin' the ability t' beat any o' th' teams out thar'."

T -"Aye, they are one of the teams I'll be keeping my eye on."

B -"We have the Blighted Marshes Brawlers up next. They have only played one game in the Open since the six nil drubbing at the hands of the Shipwrecks to decide last seasons champions."

T -"And they still look in good shape Barty. They have three outstanding Gutter Runners in Fugrat, Morbag and Nalden. Also if Rirkz the Claw is in form they could well chew through their division."

R -"Aye, we were expectin' a harder game against th' Brawlers but them thar' Buccaneers be doin' us a favour by takin' out Rirkz and Fugrat fer last seasons final. Without thar' two best players we be able t' run rings around them thar' rats."

B -"Yes they were really missing them in the final. Fugrat is such a talented player he could well have turned that game around for them."

T -"On to our last team now and they really don't need an introduction. The Grinds golden child, winning the title three years in a row the Sartosa Shipwrecks."

R -"Aharr!"

B -"Now tell me Rocco, how are things back on the Gilded Scythe? The crew must be in good spirits waiting for the season to kick-off?"

R -"Aye, we be itchin' t' get back out on th' field."

T -"It really is amazing how you've managed to keep the crew together for so long, without any losses. What do you put it down too?"

R -"It be Calypso who be keepin' th' lads livin' I tells ye."

B -"Lets take a look at some of the squad. Your defensive line is the most formidable we have seen on Grind with four excellent Blitzers and Stalwart Ogre Tiny."

R -"Aye, they are a fierce bunch o' lads 'n with th' increased salary cap we have been able t' keep all o' them."

T -"Your offensive line is as good if not better than your defence, with Captain Neri leading and Vito in support. And then you can add Pipes into the mix 'n you could say that your almost unstoppable."

R -"That be right Thundgrim, we be blessed t' have Pipes on our crew that be fer sure."

B -"Will you be able to hold onto the title again this season?"

R -"Aye, we be more confident than ever 'n th' rest o' th' league better watch out."

T -"Thanks for coming down here to help out today."

B -"Well that's all the teams it looks set to be a fantastic season. Now let's take a look at how the teams line up."

T -"First is the South Eastern Division where we have the Shipwrecks who look in fantastic shape. They will be joined by the Pearls and the Titans who will be trying to upset the champions."

B -"Also we have some new boys who are still hoping to make a name for themselves in Grind. We have the Town Hall Tavern, the Campogrotta Lions and Verezzo Blue Runners."

T -"And in the North Western Division we have the Blighted Marshes Brawlers leading the pack."

B -"The rest of the group is a lot tighter looking with the two teams out of Miragliano the Madratters and the Red Pox alongside the War Dogs and Black Company with the Rangers looking the wekest of the bunch."

T -"Aye it will definately be the more interesting of the two groups."

B -"Well that's all we have time for. I've been Barty Silk."

T -"And I've been Thundgrim Ironside."

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cowhead



Joined: Oct 22, 2006

Post   Posted: May 15, 2015 - 13:49 Reply with quote Back to top

Aharr!!!

Th' Shipwrecks be back on th' Grind Ball field against some fresh faced, pox marked, lice infested rats.

Th' first half be seein' Constante 'n Pipes runnin' in a touchdown a piece, with that thar' touchdown fer Pipes be seein' him t' Legend status. But Constante be havin' a right bad time of it on th' defence, lettin' them thar' rats past him twice.

Half time th' score be two each 'n I not be best pleased with th' lads. I be givin' them a right hard talkin' t', 'n they soon be gettin' thar' act together.

Th' second half be seein' Pipes take on th' defensive duties 'n he be showin' Constante how it be done. He be easily knockin' th' ball free 'n catchin' it in one smooth motion, 'before runnin' th' ball in.

'n then Pipes be doin' it again. But this time th' ball be gettin' loose 'n after a little scramble Pipes be gettin' th' ball t' be runnin' in his third.

At th' end o' th' game th' misbegotten rats be mishandlin' th' ball givin' Constante a chance t' redeem himself with a second touchdown.

A five two victory be a right fine start t' th' campaign. 'n them thar' Elves out o' Veruso best keep thar' eyes t' th' horizon as we be headin' thar' way next.

Aharr!!!

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cowhead



Joined: Oct 22, 2006

Post   Posted: May 20, 2015 - 08:32 Reply with quote Back to top

"Yarrr!!!

Th' Shipwrecks be showin' them thar' lily livered Elves how it be done again.

Pipes 'n Constante be runnin' th' show as usual with Pipes runnin' in another three of them thar' touchdowns.

That be makin' it fifty touchdowns fer th' lad now.

Looks like I be havin' t' up his share o' th' booty, th' lad be earnin' it.

'n me no good son in law be makin' a fool o' himself yet again when he failin' t' hold on t' th' ball. If it wasn't fer me daughter I would o' be havin' th' little toe rag flogged that's fer sure."

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Throweck



Joined: Feb 23, 2013

Post   Posted: May 20, 2015 - 10:22 Reply with quote Back to top

**************NEWSFLASH***************

In an odd turn of events, the recent Miragliano derby has been shadowed with controversy! Half way through the second half the match was called off instantaneously much to the bewilderment of the crowd and the coaches. With the score at 1-1 and the Madratters likely to score again, it only raises more concerns that Theobold Eck is more involved with the Pox than first thought. I believe an enquiry is pending and the ref is soon to be interviewed. We will bring you this breaking news as it happens. A new date has been set for 22.00 on Thursday. I am sure many of us will turn out to see what happens.

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Seventyone



Joined: Dec 02, 2010

Post   Posted: May 26, 2015 - 17:27 Reply with quote Back to top

Good evening sports fans! This evening sees my team, the Titans, taking on the Lions. Sadly I'm out with an injury as is all star catcher Donald "the Don" Faison. My team mates will be looking to make up for us missing with team work and sheer determination. We will be in the dugout offering coaches Yoast and Boone the benefit of our years of experience on the field.

Tonight, around 20:30 bbtime!

Gerry Bertier

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Seventyone



Joined: Dec 02, 2010

Post   Posted: Aug 11, 2015 - 08:58 Reply with quote Back to top

In a quiet cemetery on the outskirts of town the Titans gather, wearing ill fitting suits. Eight of them carry an enormous coffin which they struggle to lift. Behind them the coaches and remaining players look rather more comfortable with a more normal sized casket. Behind them much of the town walks in silence.

Once the brief service is over coach Boone is called forward to make an address.

"My friends, fellow Titans and fans everywhere. My heart is breaking over the deaths of these two young men. They didn't die nobly on the blood bowl field, or in their beds at a ripe old age, satisfied with a life full of achievements. Instead they were cruelly sucked from this world far too soon and in far too undignified a way. They have probably died in vain...

(Gasps of shock from the assembled crowd)

...the only good that can possibly come of this is if young men playing blood bowl everywhere take their deaths as what they are: and awful warning of the dangers of doping. It seems clear now that Lewis's superhuman strength was in fact superhuman: it came out of a bottle. Sadly the unlicensed world of doping products is fraught with risk as these two young men found out. It also seems that Lewis was supporting his habit by dealing to another member of the team: and he too has paid the ultimate price. While I understand what made these players do it, especially in the light of these draconian new team selection rules, I cannot condone what they did and players everywhere must learn that they can manage without these strength boosting drugs.

(Alan Derrick shifts uneasily in his chair)

The Titans must say no to drugs: we are a clean team!

(Alan looks even more shifty)

Without these two men the Titans are mere shadows of what they once were, but we will play on regardless in their memory.

Our next game will start with a minute of silence to commemorate their memory, if not the manner of their death ( no one wants to ember seeing grown men slumped on the toilet bowl, their innards leaking out of their... But I digress

We will remember them!

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