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Roland



Joined: May 12, 2004

Post   Posted: May 11, 2014 - 22:24 Reply with quote Back to top

Samuele: Good work guards! We finally manage to make more goals than the opposing team. Well done. Ugolino, you're promoted to kicker.

Orso: Wut? We have a ball?
Ugolino: Uh, make goals?

Concetta: Yes, we're playing blood bowl! No wonder we've not won a game before...

Samuele: *facepalm*
cowhead



Joined: Oct 22, 2006

Post   Posted: May 13, 2014 - 23:46 Reply with quote Back to top

Arrr!!!

Th' Shipwrecks have done it lads. We be takin' home th' prize, th' Grind Trophy. Don't look like much 'n it aint real gold, but we be champs none th' less. Th' boys done us proud, hurtin' them thar' guards real bad at th' start. They be more trouble than we be thinkin' but we done em in th' end.

We be gettin' th' ship ready t' sail fer distant shores. Booty a plenty t' be had, or so I be told. So let's celebrate tonight afore we weigh anchor 'n back t' th' open sea.

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mister__joshua



Joined: Jun 20, 2007

Post   Posted: May 14, 2014 - 14:36
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From the desk of Lord Borgia:

Current tour sign-ups are listed in the following categories.

Tour of Grudges:
Ironfist's Nomads
1 team undeclared

Tour of Badlands:
Unguths Vilesons
2 teams undeclared

Undertour of Miragliano:
Blended Men Of Tilea
Northern Hunting Party
Doges de Verezzo
2 teams undeclared

Tour not determined:
1 team

Results will be updated as team registration is completed


Should it occur that some tours are less popular, the tournament administrators reserve the right to combine multiple tours in a single location. Participants will not be refunded travelling costs.

*********************************************************

Please can all participants be aware that there will be several minor but significant changes to the rules ahead of the second season.

The Scrolls of Rules and Records are currently undergoing a complete re-write, but this is taking longer than planned due to the scribe accidentally brutally cutting his head off while combing his hair. A replacement with better credentials is currently being sought, but in the mean time the existing scrolls will be amended and scribbled upon in red dye to notify you of any changes.

I would also like to congratulate the Sartosa Shipwrecks on their recent victory in the Season 1 Trophy. A trophy will be hastily crafted and delivered. I would like to point out that the light weight of the trophy is necessary so that it can easily be dispatched by bird, and the lack of precious metals in the statue should in no way detract from it's sentimental worth. Also be aware that, despite this apparent lack of worth, the trophy is property of the TBBC and must be returned in-tact before the end of next season.
cowhead



Joined: Oct 22, 2006

Post   Posted: May 14, 2014 - 16:56 Reply with quote Back to top

That thar' bird be deliverin' our booty finally. That thar' Lod Borgia think we be givin' it back next year, he be barkin' mad.

Tiny send him back his bird.
Tiny, where be th' Bird.
Tiny, be that a feather hangin' out o' your gob?
Lord Borgia aint gonna be happy.


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mister__joshua



Joined: Jun 20, 2007

Post   Posted: May 15, 2014 - 17:12
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In his second order of business, Lord Borgia rules that the name Blood Bowl was too closely associated with the game played in the Empire, and that their vast rules deviations qualified as a new sport. Gridball was floated to the committee, but it didn't appeal. A name was needed that people could relate to, that demonstrated the harsh realities of life in the Tilean states. Grind Ball was decided upon, and the Grind league. The name fits, and minimal modification was required to the too-hastily-printed new advertising materials. The Committee was then renamed The Tilean Grind Committee, or TGC and it's members the G8. These 8 nominally important figures will henceforth meet at their new headquarters at the summit of the Irrana Mountains, north of Miragliano. Nobody knows why such an inconvenient location was chosen for the 'Summit Meetings', but Lord Borgia now takes residence there in what can only be described as a palace. There are rumours the location was chosen for its distant views, and that maybe Lord Borgia has designs on things beyond sport.


Last edited by mister__joshua on May 15, 2014 - 17:51; edited 1 time in total
cowhead



Joined: Oct 22, 2006

Post   Posted: May 15, 2014 - 17:25 Reply with quote Back to top

Arrr!!!

That thar' Lord Borgia be movin' th' Summit Meetin's t' th' top o' th' mountain.
How we gonna get all th' lords gold from way up there?
Best be gettin' th' rope out lads we be goin' t' climb us a mountain.
On second thoughts where be me rum!!!

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easilyamused



Joined: Jun 06, 2008

Post   Posted: May 17, 2014 - 19:37 Reply with quote Back to top

"I hear the Shipwrecks won the trophy in the first season. I don't buy it myself, they didn't play the Hope. Right strange that they were called away during the season."

"I heard that they got involved in some right nasty going ons. Right dastardly it was. Rats they say, big rats walking on 2 feet."

"Skaven!!! I thought they were a rumour!"

"Nah, they is real and the Hope needed to deal with them. I heard the Hope are coming back though, in time for the tour as well. Dietrich will do what needs to be done, you watch. The hope will get that trophy soon."

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Rabe



Joined: Jun 06, 2009

Post   Posted: May 19, 2014 - 09:29 Reply with quote Back to top

"Pirates?!"

"Yes, my Lord, pirates."

"No dirty pirates have ever set foot into our mountain halls! But if they're fancy a game of Blood Bowl, we will happily send them back to their ship with a bleeding nose and a spiked ball in their butt! Get the Steamhammerers..."

"My Lord, it's not Blood Bowl. It's 'Grindball', something invented in Tilea... No more than eleven player and only eight on the pitch, different rules - so I have heard."

"Not Blood Bowl? Bah. Who cares then? Well, still give them something to play with. Only
something, you hear me?"

"Loud and clear as always, my Lord. How about those ragtag mercenaries from the east? Ironfist's... Something."

"Splendid idea! They've been here for too long anyway. Give them something to do. Tell them, they can fight this one for us, get some coins and then LEAVE!"

"As you wish, my Lord."

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mister__joshua



Joined: Jun 20, 2007

Post   Posted: May 19, 2014 - 10:03
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"Right you bunch of wasters, listen up! We've been assigned to tour the Badlands." Officer Franco wasn't in the mood for this, and he wasn't having any trouble. It was bad enough having to go to the Badlands yourself, let alone escorting a chain gang.
"This'll be tough. Personally I think the league has just had enough of you and are probably hoping you don't return. I wouldn't be too bothered myself."

Gregorio de Mezzo, captain of the Parole Program spoke up in protest, only for the nearest guard to deliver a batton to the back of his head. Seething, he grabbed a rock and hit the guard square between the eyes. Franco looked at the team despondent. "Well, you can carry him. I'm not telling his wife we left the body on the road. We'll say the Orcs did it. Just behave yourselves from now on eh? It's hard enough finding people for this duty as it is..."
cowhead



Joined: Oct 22, 2006

Post   Posted: May 19, 2014 - 11:14 Reply with quote Back to top

Arrr!!!

Th' tour o' grudges? I thought we be going on a tour o' th' islands. This Lord Borgia be a right bilge talker. Now we be havin' t' go t' th' mountains t' see some o' them stunted goat lovin' Dwarves.

'n if that not be enough, he be sendin' th' bow-legged gasbags out o' Bronzio along t' help with the new bloods schoolin'.

At least thar' be more loot t' be had, 'n them thar' treacherous Dwarven ballast pigs have plenty o' booty. 'n th' skirt wearin' Elven milkmaids always be known t' carry a lot o' loot.

Weigh anchor lads we be headin' North, 'n we best be gettin' thar' before them thar' slovenly Gunners. We be wantin' first look at all that thar' booty.

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Last edited by cowhead on May 19, 2014 - 14:08; edited 1 time in total
mister__joshua



Joined: Jun 20, 2007

Post   Posted: May 19, 2014 - 13:58
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The TGC would like to inform the Sartosa Shipwrecks and the Galloping Gunners, along with all of our Dwarf and Elf participants that due to 'efficiency savings' their tours have been combined to form one large group that will play in the mountains of the Dwarfs.

The League is sorry for any inconvenience.

Apologies,

Percy Wantmore,
TGC Secretary

Disclaimer: The TGC takes no responsibility for any additional travelling costs incurred by the Elven participants, nor any hosting costs incurred by the Dwarfs. We also take no responsibility for any injury, damage or loss caused to or by any persons or property participating in the Grind tour.

Basically we're not responsible for anything, so don't ask
Rabe



Joined: Jun 06, 2009

Post   Posted: May 20, 2014 - 00:30 Reply with quote Back to top

"It says WHAT?!"

"We are expected to be a... 'welcoming and attentive host'..."

"Son of beardless orphan orc! I'll show this TCG some attention where they'll never see it coming-"

"TGC."

"What?"

"It's T-G-C. Tilean Grind Committee."

"BLAH!"

"My Lord..."

"Ohhh, you're right of course. I'm losing my temper. But this is an outrage! Pirates! Militia! ELVES! We'll CERTAINLY not cater for those!"

"We certainly won't. And?"

"And what?"

"What shall we do then?"

"Yeah, what? Keep the gates closed?"

"That would be very rude. We certainly shouldn't obey to those Tilean-"

"Obey! HAHAHAHAHAHA! HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!"

"...to those Tilean upstarts. But hospitality is a virtue on its own, my Lord."

"HAHAHAHA- what? Ah, yes. Well... hmmm... hmmmm... hmmm... Oh come on, think of something!"

"If I may suggest: We did plan to use the old Spikestone Pitch down by the road for those 'Grindball' games. There are some solid locker rooms, ambulance buildings and wurst stalls nearby. Let's sell them those as their accommodations. After all, our kind is known for low standards when it comes to comfort. No need to show them those standards only apply for foreigners. Sell it as dwarfish hospitality."

"I'm in awe. You, my friend, are a brilliant mind. I've chosen you wisely as my advisor. Am I not smart!"

"Indeed, you are."

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cowhead



Joined: Oct 22, 2006

Post   Posted: May 20, 2014 - 13:36 Reply with quote Back to top

"What kind o' lodgin's ye be callin' these?"

"Bad ones, Cap'n."

"Aye ye be damn right laddo. Thar' be no mattresses on th' beds, thar' be no windows 'n thar' be no rum.
Them thar' Dwarves be worse then I be thinkin' if they be livin' like this, a galley slave be havin' more comfort than this. That Lord Borgia be havin' a lot t' answer fer, sendin' us t' this lice infested hell hole."

"At least thar' be a pool out back Cap'n"

"That aint no pool lad, that be th' latrine"

"Ye best be tellin' Rocco then Cap'n, he's havin' a swim in it. 'n he be tryin' t' get th' rest o' th' crew t' join him, sayin' th' waters be right warm Cap'n."

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Rabe



Joined: Jun 06, 2009

Post   Posted: May 20, 2014 - 19:35 Reply with quote Back to top

"My Lord, the teams are arriving. They don't seem to be happy with their... accommodations."

"Very well! The sooner they will leave. I hope those worthless mercenaries get their job done soon. Make them get a move on!"

"I will, my Lord. There's more news though."

"What is it? I'm fed up with all this Grindball nonsense already... although I must admit the name appeals to me - but it's the name only! Blood, grind... good words..."

"Well, my Lord... it's a matter of vandalism actually. Three ancient trees near the Spikestone Pitch have been cut."

"Erm... that's... outrageous! I'm sure it's those pirate bastards... they steal whatever the can get their dirty hands on!"

"Unlikely. Into each stump a message has been carved. One states 'No dwarven wood for pirate ships!' - in our own alphabet."

"I see! Then it must have been the elves! They love trees!!"

"I'm afraid they are not to blame either. 'I ran away because I didn't want to get hugged by pointy-eared foreigners!' doesn't sound like elvish work to me."

"Hrmph."

"...and the last one says 'Dwarven steel kills. Beware!'. I'm just glad our guests probably won't read those signs."

"What? Why not?"

"They most likely don't speak Dwarfish."

"Oh."

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cowhead



Joined: Oct 22, 2006

Post   Posted: May 21, 2014 - 08:39 Reply with quote Back to top

Arr!!!

Th Tour o' Grudges be startin' with a right fine game. Shame about th' state o' th' pitch, it bein' th' most sorry excuse fer a Grindball pitch I ever be seein'.

Th' crew be doin' me right proud, showin' them thar' Dwarves how t' play th' game. We be startin' th' game fast 'n gettin' a quick jump on th' slow witted Dwarves, who were still tryin' t' figure out how t' set up. 'n some poor ball handlin' skills by their worm riddled runners allowed us t' score two quick touchdowns against th' wind.

Th' second half be seein' us score quickly makin' th' stunted sons o' goats look like a bunch o' fishwives. Th' Dwarves finally be startin' t' pick up how things be done 'n stated t' concentrate on th' violent side o' th' game. They even be managin' t' get th' ball relatively near our endzone, but "The Don" be doin' us proud 'n knockin that thar' Dimrod Ironfist t' th' floor. Him bein' t' only one o' them thar' foul breathed Dwarves who seem t' know they be needin' th' ball.

All in all it be a fine night fer th' Shipwrecks 'n a fine night fer a bottle o' rum.

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