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PainState



Joined: Apr 04, 2007

Post   Posted: Aug 07, 2014 - 21:49 Reply with quote Back to top

The second installment of Milfords Top teams.

The first installment was: Milfords top 25 Majors winners of all time.


Milfords top 10 list of most brutal FUMBBL teams of ALL TIME

It is time FUMBBL fans for my second installment of the the greatest teams in FUMBBL history. This time we will focus on who are the most notorious, low down, brutal and just down right nasty teams to ever take the pitch in the FUMBBL leagues.

Over the long course of FUMBBL history some teams have risen to the top as the most brutal teams to ever take the pitch. Teams that make their foe shiver in fear, weak in the knees, looking for the pull down menu searching for the conceeed button and just down right nasty.

I present to you FUMBBL fans my top 10 list of the most brutal teams in FUMBBL history. This list is up for debate, in fact, I encourage you to buy 5 rounds of beer, sit in your local pub with your fellow FUMBBL coaches and debate this list. For in the end that is what a top 10 list is all about. The never ending drunk debate on who is the most brutal, cut throat and down right nasty team to ever take the pitch.

Now the check list I used to determine who is the most brutal team ever, you ask?
1: The team has as a bare minimum a 3+ CAS inflicted per match average. That is the only baseline stat that I considered. Win % and tournament success were not factored into this list at all.

2: The team must have a rep for being bad boys. Coaches flame the forums about these teams, talk about them, flock to their matches to spectate the blood all over the pitch and in general gnash their teath and call them all kinds of bad names.

3: I looked at these teams and went through this check list. For ranked teams: You see them on game finder and you think to your self. "Do I really want to hit this big green button? Do I really want a knock down drag out fight for 16 turns? Do I really want to embark on what might be another big rebuild? Nah, I will just hit that red button and let another chump get retired or decimated."

For the Box teams I en vision this going on. "What da heck? NO!!!! Not another stupid random match against another "killer" who will just pound me into the pitch, give my squad a serious TV trim job and the box scheduler is whack man, WHACK I SAY!!!!!" Then they hit the forums with all the insight on how the Box scheduler is stupid and how to manipulate it so they never have to face heavy bash every stinking match!!!

And then in a last appeal they pull on the heartstrings by invocking the poor new coaches to FUMBBL. How they are getting run off, souring them on FUMBBL and just being down right mean and nasty. Think of the NEWBS FUMBBL fans!! How can you be so cold? Serious, so cold and heartless.

Now I will say during my examination of records, going back into the spider web infested crypt that is FUMBBL ancient past. Many teams surely went over looked, lost in the ancient tomes of FUMBBL history. So I will admit my choice of teams is in the last 7 years of FUMBBL history. Some teams jumped out at me because I'am very familiar with their killing ways. Some I never got the pleasure of squaring off against but my coverage of majors and so forth made me very aware of their evil ways.

So are you ready FUMBBL fans? Really ready to re live the brutality? The blood and gore stained pitches? The pure chaos and destruction that this glorious game brings to us and makes us feel alive?

Here we go....the top 10 list. I give to you the #10 and #9 team to make the list. I want you to be wanting more, anxious to remember the blood and gore that turned boxers into bikini thongs of rage against the top 10 ten list. Man I hate these guys!! But deep down, I love them, don't tell anybody, ok?


Image#10: Hosptial Starting off this list is a stunty team. These guys are at the pinnacle of their killing ways. Filling body bags and filling up the CAS boxes really deep. Yeah, they are stunty, yeah it is easier to get that CAS over in stunty BUT they rack up a mind boggling 5.33 CAS a match!!!.

You show up and watch their matches and you just sit back, eat that popcorn and drink that beer and cheer as the sweet sound of cracking bones, cries of pain and suffering and the crumbling bones come off the pitch.

How can you not love this? The carnage and brutality of stunty? These guys blow onto the list for being the most low down, cut throat and vile of all stunty teams. These guys are still active and if you see them playing a match you have to run on over and spectate, have to.
Who can every forget the legendary Dr. Knife? You talk about one nasty dude, man this guy stampeded through the Stunty League and left a trail of blood for miles behind his blood stained feet and razor sharp claws.


Image#9: Left my Heart in San Francisco 3.55 CAS for Average Another stunty team makes the top 10 list. Man are these flings cut throat. You see them on the game finder and start salivating at the CAS, the skill ups and man you are going to rip them to shreds. Then you sit back and go wait a minute, man these flings are brutal. Is the cost in pixel flesh worth the reward? What if they beat me? The humiliation and suffering. Plus, do I have enough gold to replace the guys about to get killed or retired?

These flings have a long and storied history of inflicting some serious pain. Lead by the legendary Mr. T back in the day these guys would actually get dodged on game finder. Coaches would refuse matches against them.
When a fling team on the Ranked Gamefinder makes coaches weak in the knees, dodging and weaving and ducking. That is what I call legendary fling bash power my friends. We all must respect the fling brutality and low down nature of these stunty creatures or else you might find yourself with a CAS box overflowing and you are screaming to the heavens imploring NUFFLE to STOP THE BRUTALITY!!!!!!!


************************

Tomorrow I will release the #8-6 most low down brutal teams in FUMBBL history.
For those wishing to play along with the Top 10 list I will give you a hint if you want to play the quessing game. The top 8 teams are all found in the Ranked/Box divs and no more stunties are on the list.

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WhatBall



Joined: Aug 21, 2008

Post   Posted: Aug 07, 2014 - 22:09 Reply with quote Back to top

Great idea, looking forward to the rest of the list.


PainState wrote:
Image#10: Hosptial Starting off this list is a stunty team. These guys are at the pinnacle of their killing ways. Filling body bags and filling up the CAS boxes really deep. Yeah, they are stunty, yeah it is easier to get that CAS over in stunty BUT they rack up a mind boggling 5.33 CAS a match!!!.

Hospital are currently in the second round of the Stunty Cup, and truly deserving wiht their history. If they win that match, they play my Dawson Creek Hellbillies, who are coming off an OT win against Azure's Squigs, a game where there were 20 casualties in total. It should be a blood bath.

And you made me go and check the CAS rate for the Hellbillies, 5.52, with NO Piling On or Dirty Players. Helps to have some doubles on the Big Guys... Twisted Evil

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Last edited by WhatBall on Aug 07, 2014 - 22:22; edited 1 time in total
WhatBall



Joined: Aug 21, 2008

Post   Posted: Aug 07, 2014 - 22:17 Reply with quote Back to top

On the subject of Stunty, I think Smashing To Oblivion really needs a mention, even if it is dishonourable.

CAS average per game? 8.23 *gulp*

Just saying William Wallcas out loud scares most coaches.

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JimmyFantastic



Joined: Feb 06, 2007

Post   Posted: Aug 07, 2014 - 22:26 Reply with quote Back to top

Team Fantastic gonna dominate this list ahhh yeahhhh!

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Chainsaw



Joined: Aug 31, 2005

Post   Posted: Aug 08, 2014 - 00:14 Reply with quote Back to top

JimmyFantastic wrote:
Team Fantastic gonna dominate this list ahhh yeahhhh!

#1 is obviously the Newscasters.

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DrPoods



Joined: Nov 14, 2013

Post   Posted: Aug 08, 2014 - 02:54 Reply with quote Back to top

Chainsaw wrote:
JimmyFantastic wrote:
Team Fantastic gonna dominate this list ahhh yeahhhh!

#1 is obviously the Newscasters.


Take off your shirt and wave it around like a helicopter!

And Newcasters will have to be top 3 for sure. But what about Brasky or KenThis? Surely WMD's in the Box and Nihonto make the list? Archetypal, stone cold killers.

Magic work Milford.

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Kam



Joined: Nov 06, 2012

Post   Posted: Aug 08, 2014 - 02:56 Reply with quote Back to top

Chainsaw wrote:
JimmyFantastic wrote:
Team Fantastic gonna dominate this list ahhh yeahhhh!

#1 is obviously the Newscasters.


Quote:
In four games between the Sammiches and the Newcasters, 61 players were injured. The two teams almost beat the site's record of the most casualties during their first encounter, with a grand total of 19 injuries.


FUMBBL will riot if the Newcasters ain't number 1.

EDIT - And Zed is a lamer. Very Happy

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fly



Joined: Aug 02, 2003

Post   Posted: Aug 08, 2014 - 03:35 Reply with quote Back to top

WhatBall wrote:
On the subject of Stunty, I think Smashing To Oblivion really needs a mention, even if it is dishonourable.

CAS average per game? 8.23 *gulp*

Just saying William Wallcas out loud scares most coaches.

double frenzy, that's what Fans of Frenzy want!
is it 4 blocks each block? or is it in some strange way maybe 4 cas per block?
Milford, tell us!

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PainState



Joined: Apr 04, 2007

Post   Posted: Aug 08, 2014 - 17:41 Reply with quote Back to top

Image#8:Schmerztal Dark Bones: Shambling onto the list is the dark bones. They will bushwack you and then find yourself swarmed by a horde of DP zombies as they boot you endlessly until you stop twitching. They have been known to eat fingers, brains, your boots and even your gatorade jug in the dug out.

These guys sport 7 of the top 10 ALL TIME most prolific foulers!!!! These guys never hit the pitch with out atleast 5 DP on the roster at all times. If they find themselves with under 5 they become discombobulated and start screaming out in rage and shambling about with no direction.

But lets not forget their inspired leader...Wulfmar von Schmerztal this golem is a real pro and is a master and knocking players over the head and getting them all woozy, they fall right into the laps of the zombie DP horde.

Then there is the leader of the zombie horde..Fernet a evil and vile zombie who some claim is a super zombie with memories of his past, which are grim my friends, a tale of a insane person with a dark past. Some claim in life he was a priest of the one of the Ruinious Powers and he is eating the souls of all he slays...chilling.

Needless to say when you run across these guys you need to take a few shots of whiskey to fortify your bravery as you blindly hit the accept match button. You are in for a long and bloody match against these guys.

DP ZOMBIE horde boots its way to the #8 spot on the list with a 4.15 CAS Average.

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Last edited by PainState on Aug 08, 2014 - 21:01; edited 1 time in total
liquidorange



Joined: Feb 08, 2005

Post   Posted: Aug 08, 2014 - 18:28 Reply with quote Back to top

It's hard to take Stunty Leeg teams seriously in this list. Sorry Hospital - not cutting it, even at #10. Left My Heart in San Francisco on the other hand? Totally deserving of an even higher spot, given the difficulty they have in acquiring any serious damage-inflicting skills. Dirty player is a double (and now nerfed), piling on is a terrible idea for ma2 trees, no claw, no block or tackle available without doubles. I'd rank them far higher based solely on degree of difficulty.
NerdBird



Joined: Apr 08, 2014

Post   Posted: Aug 08, 2014 - 18:47 Reply with quote Back to top

liquidorange wrote:
It's hard to take Stunty Leeg teams seriously in this list. Sorry Hospital - not cutting it, even at #10.


Seriously. Stunty...that's like saying you are a gamer but dabble only in Candy Land and Uncle Wiggily. I have only been here a few months and I have no desire to play stunty. My ranked teams fail enough as it is....

Is stunty even remotely balanced? It looks entirely lopsided for some teams...
NerdBird



Joined: Apr 08, 2014

Post   Posted: Aug 08, 2014 - 18:53 Reply with quote Back to top

I agree that the NewsCasters must be number one. Number 2 must be the WMD's in the Box?

Unless there are some teams that were really nasty back in the RSC/Claw days before I was here....but with aging? Maybe not?

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gamelsetlmatch



Joined: Mar 05, 2013

Post   Posted: Aug 08, 2014 - 19:06 Reply with quote Back to top

NerdBird wrote:
liquidorange wrote:
It's hard to take Stunty Leeg teams seriously in this list. Sorry Hospital - not cutting it, even at #10.


Seriously. Stunty...that's like saying you are a gamer but dabble only in Candy Land and Uncle Wiggily. I have only been here a few months and I have no desire to play stunty. My ranked teams fail enough as it is....

Is stunty even remotely balanced? It looks entirely lopsided for some teams...


Don't let the subtle fluff about Stunties being small, mean they don't rack up the casualties. Almost every game has at least 10+ combined..
Add to that, some of the coaches deisre on here to kill pixels and -----~ Deserved killing machine'nics
xnoelx



Joined: Jun 05, 2012

Post   Posted: Aug 08, 2014 - 19:23 Reply with quote Back to top

It's hard to take criticism of the glorious Stunty Leeg seriously when it comes from people who have never played a single game there. Hospital easily deserve their spot. When you have a team that've played over 860 games (more than the next 3 active most played S teams combined) in any division, let alone the one in which player survival is most difficult, you deserve kudos.

And yes, Stunty is balanced, at least as much as the regular leagues are. Which isn't all that much, now is it?

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DrPoods



Joined: Nov 14, 2013

Post   Posted: Aug 08, 2014 - 20:06 Reply with quote Back to top

WhatBall wrote:
On the subject of Stunty, I think Smashing To Oblivion really needs a mention, even if it is dishonourable.

CAS average per game? 8.23 *gulp*

Just saying William Wallcas out loud scares most coaches.


A piling on Doomwheel? Absolute magic.

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