polemarch
Joined: Mar 20, 2009
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 Posted:
Dec 27, 2015 - 14:43 |
 
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CROWD SINGS NEW SONG FOR MORGWEGIAN
The Waikikamukau crowd loves its ring-ins and todays match between the Ugly Tripods and Morgwegian found them in fine form. Yet another game that was over at half time with Morgwegian winning 2-1. Highlights are best revealed using the lyrics from captured from the crowd before the fun police moved in.
"He's big, he's round, he'll ram you in the ground, he's the Morg, he's the Morg"
Famous last words overhead by the effects mic, Mr Schlong trash talking Morg'n'Thorg , "Hey peanut #!<K, I hear you girlfriends a snot and that even she giggles at the sight of your member!" Well we all know how sensitive Morg is, so lets say his big foot definitely tripped up Mr Schlong where it hurt.
"They block like girls, can't fight out of a wet paper bag and they stood there waving their organs around like a bunch of sea anemones performing ballet in a coral reef" Coach BeefGoodness passing thoughts on his teams performance.
And from coach ramchop, "the guys might have unspellable names and tiny nobs (due to the cold, sic), but they have the biggest bollocks of all the teams here!" |
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Last edited by polemarch on %b %30, %2015 - %08:%Dec; edited 1 time in total |
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RedMaul
Joined: Jun 10, 2006
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Dec 28, 2015 - 13:37 |
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Foad
Joined: Sep 02, 2007
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Dec 28, 2015 - 14:02 |
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It's with polemarch. It's not fair to discuss it. |
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They see me Trollin', they hatin'...
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polemarch
Joined: Mar 20, 2009
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Dec 29, 2015 - 08:28 |
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Use of time outs in Waikikamukau is forbidden
This is as per all SWL based tournaments and I expect is generally known.
So.
1. If you think your opponent is playing too slow and is regularly going over 4 min then let them know, politely, using the chat function in game
2. Every coach should do their best to play within the 4 min limit and speed up play if asked too (i.e. you are regularly over 4 min and are asked)
If I had wanted to enforce the 4 min limit I would have selected it as a game option 
In regard to the game between Chavo and Balle2000 I will address a solution with them directly.
This is tournament is all about having a bit of fun and shouldn't be taken too seriously. So play it in the fashion it is meant to be played. |
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DrPoods
Joined: Nov 14, 2013
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Dec 29, 2015 - 08:49 |
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Oh dearie, dearie me... |
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"Gallifrey falls no more"
Do your part! Join the Adoption Agency NOW! |
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RedMaul
Joined: Jun 10, 2006
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Dec 29, 2015 - 12:00 |
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on a more serious note, is there a link to a wiki or a babelfish to show the correct pronunciation of our lovely tournament? |
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polemarch
Joined: Mar 20, 2009
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Dec 29, 2015 - 12:02 |
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Why kick a moo cow
NZ version of ,somewhere out woop woop. |
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Bobs
Joined: Feb 26, 2009
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Dec 29, 2015 - 12:39 |
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Didjabringabeeralong is somewhere else. |
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si non modo numquam pragmaticam
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RedMaul
Joined: Jun 10, 2006
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Dec 30, 2015 - 00:24 |
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btw. The Wrestling Dead rise again! |
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Toonie
Joined: Jun 03, 2004
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Dec 30, 2015 - 03:37 |
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| RedMaul wrote: | | btw. The Wrestling Dead rise again! |
That they did, even though Classy Freddy Blassie didn't seem to have the wight stuff and permanently retired at the games conclusion. |
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ramchop
Joined: Oct 12, 2013
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| polemarch wrote: | |
More please polemarch. This stuff is magic! |
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polemarch
Joined: Mar 20, 2009
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Dec 30, 2015 - 08:51 |
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STALL FAIL FAIL FAIL DAMN
The game touted as a showcase of the glorious resulted in the Waikikamukau crowd almost expiring from laughter.
Starting with a fortuitous kick off for the Celtics, the Deadmen Wrestling were forced into an early maul in the center of the pitch before skillfully evading the mass Chaos Dwarf assault and setting up a certain score in the corner. Zombie brain rot had obviously transferred to rest team, as this can be the only explanation for the retarded and inept play which must have left coach RedMaul scratching his scabby skull in frustration. Kiddies if you want to see an example of how not to stall, watch a replay of the first half. Nice use of Chopblock by coach Toonie, which when from being wasteful to brilliant as the undead couldn't pickup the ball, time after time, like Cyndi Lauper squealing like a dying pig.
The second half was equally entertaining with the old codgers showing equal parts of pure ass and the effects of old age. The Chaotic Celtics were set for a 1-0 win with an easy grind up the pitch but blew it with a rush of blood early in the half. To and fro, block and trip finally lead to a fantastic long bomb which would have broken open match for a Celtics win, only for it to be dropped and pickup up by Earthquake who took a leisurely stroll up the side line to score in the final seconds of the game. Realizing that the win was impossible the Dagda set his sites on the Wrestling's start wight Classy Freddy Blassie, and with a swinging arm decapitated him, proving that you cant regenerate without a head.
In a game that probably should have gone to overtime, the crowd is thankful that it didn't as the Waikikamukau paramedics were already overwhelmed by spectators with laughter inflicted hernias.
Deadmen Wrestling 1 - Chaotic Celtics 0 |
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Last edited by polemarch on %b %30, %2015 - %09:%Dec; edited 1 time in total |
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polemarch
Joined: Mar 20, 2009
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Dec 30, 2015 - 09:04 |
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Important Health Announcement
The organizers of the the Waikikamukau Festival would like to remind players that due to the average age of most players, GOING FOR IT is bad for your health.
Just remember what happens on the pitch stays on the pitch, but according to the nurses at Waikika ICU, players need take care during post game celebrations. Reports of players presenting to the hospital after "sinking just one more" at the bar or "going for it" again at Mamasan's Travelling Bordello, is putting the competitiveness of future rounds at risk. |
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polemarch
Joined: Mar 20, 2009
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Dec 30, 2015 - 09:30 |
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Bunyips Spurn Tournament Sponsor
Billabong Bunyips 2 v Port Macquarie Timberwolves 1
The Wizard's guild is up in arms over the behaviour of the Billabong Bunyips coach D_Arquebus. Before disappearing in an angry puff of smoke the guild spokesman exclaimed, "Who does he think he is? Not only did he refuse our magical doohickeys, his team then chooses to dismantle those poncy elves without them anyway".
This match was a clinical display of how to beat wood elves by the lizards. Line them up, through a sacrificial skink over the ball and then proceed to bash them out of the game. The Timberwolves had their moments and could have been 2-0 up at the end of the first half. However they couldnt convert on their turnover ball and perhaps played a little too conservatively. One thing was obvious, they forgot to avoid saurus tackle zones as 48 blocks against was 20 too many. |
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Toonie
Joined: Jun 03, 2004
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Dec 30, 2015 - 10:00 |
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Excellant stuff Polemarch, these reports are making the tournament into a top class event! |
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