Patdragon
Joined: May 04, 2016
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 Posted:
Jun 06, 2017 - 19:25 |
 
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Interview room at Reikland State
Interviewer: So Patdragon what makes you think you're good enough to coach the Scorpions?
Patdragon: Well that's an easy one. First I've had experience dealing with the Panthers and good but lacking team when faced off against the might of the other Imperial colleges, I know the All imperial league circuit and know the ropes on how to deal with the press with more prominent schools.
But lets skip to the crux if this interview shall we. Your previous coach just left right, plus I notice I'm the only one applying. Why is that exactly?
Interviewer: Eh well... your just the final applicant is all. We interviewed others during the week...
Patdragon:...Sure... and they all what? weren't a good fit?
Interviewer: Oh no, they fit plenty... but they decided they would rather coach lesser teams than try to fill the role of the previous coach. However WE must have a team presence every year so kept on searching for a coach until we got to you.
Patdragon: So I was your last choice?
Interviwer: Well not last choice but we are scrapping the barrel here, you do know that right.
Patdragon: Sure I know that but that does mean you want me more than I need you. I can always go back to the Panthers. What are you going to offer me to go with you.
Interviewer: What that's outrageous surely just the prestige of coaching the Scorpions is reward enough.
Patdragon: Well in this case no, no it isn't, I want a 10% raise over what the previous coach had and a 15% cut of the merchandise sold.
Interviewer: No way, that's way too much. A 5% raise and a 10% cut is the best I can offer.
Patdragon: Fine, But I want my own office with a coffee machine.
Interviewer: Deal! Welcome to Reikland State Mr Patdragon. |
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Tomay
Joined: Apr 26, 2008
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Jun 07, 2017 - 23:34 |
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Training Camp Runs Smoothly For Griffins
Debby Demonbreeder – Sports Reporter for the Altdorf Daily
There can be no excuses for the Griffins this season after Coach Tomay labelled their pre season training camp a "success". The Griffins travelled to Helmgart to hold trials for freshmen applicants as well as training drills for established players.
Coach Tomay has awarded the team captaincy to Karl Slevogt. "He's not the same sort of guy as Eagle Eye, he's more quietly spoken. He's certainly a leader though, everyone listens when he does speak and all the guys want to be as tough as he is."
"We have several freshmen who look like they could really make an impact right away. Walter "Pudge" Musche has tremendous power. Kluge is more of a project but has the speed and talent to be anything. Perhaps the most exciting though is Rolf Uhland who reminds me of Klopstock a lot when he was joining the team. These three guys could be the pillars of a CBBA Bowl in the coming seasons."
The Griffins are hosting the Diavoli in round 1 of the Touring Leg in a group which is reasonably tough. Certainly, the Griffins fans across the Empire are excited to see the new talent take the field. |
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Luohghcra
Joined: Nov 18, 2008
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Jun 08, 2017 - 03:00 |
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AVERHEIM UNIVERSITY GAZETTE
Completely Biased Reporting since Imperial Court Appeal, 17 Vorhexen 2516
A New Dawn
Galloping across the training field, young Hadebrand seems to flow through the air, her golden curls a stark contrast to the reddish-brown locks of her luxurious beard, both streaming out behind her in pilar waves as she weaves between rookie blockers Freidegund and Randaulf, leaving them flatfooted and stumbling.
While she is no Grinner, Hadebrand - Grim, as she is affectionately known to her friends and suitors - certainly has a style all her own. In trials, she has posted faster than Grinner; her turn of speed may well inspire a new, more dynamic style of play in the team. A big lass, Grim is a striking figure in her team kit, which was custom-sewn to fit over her broad chest and muscular arms. No stranger to the advances of the opposite sex, she has already put numerous would be suitors in their place - 'Rake' Steiger sports a spectacular black eye, while some of the coaching staff have had to take 'personal days'.
"She's one helluva a woman, and looks set to be an even better Blood Bowler!" Steiger claimed, while gingerly rubbing his eye with a rueful grin. "If she deals out that sort of a blow to teammates, imagine what she'll do to the other mobs!"
The rest of the team share his enthusiasm, almost unanimously claiming that the influx of fresh talent is already gelling well with the established players.
"It's an exciting time to be a Stallion!" exclaims last season recruit Volkbert Baumstein. "Coach's long term strategy looks to be paying dividends - our biggest rivals have seen yesterdays stars move onto the big leagues or go back to the family farm, while we're still trucking along with a good mix of seasoned players and keen rookies."
While this paper expects that the Stallions will easily maintain their superior winning percentage, some claim that the evolving roster plans of Coach Luo will never net the Stallions the trophy they deserve. Despite the naysayers in the pocket of Big CBBA, mood on the ground is that this season will be the one. One look at the strapping thighs - clad in the striped tights of the new team kit - of Grim Sensenmann is all the evidence this reporter needs... |
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DrPoods
Joined: Nov 14, 2013
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| Posted:
Jun 08, 2017 - 04:26 |
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@ClippersOfficial
- Athletic Department Statement -
Gefeliciteerd met DrPoods op zijn afspraak bij FCU.
Hij krijgt een contract van 5 jaar en we verwachten nu grote dingen, omdat Coach een echt team heeft met echte middelen.
#ClippersSetSail #Freedom #ImperialLapdogs
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*Congratulations to DrPoods on his appointment to FCU.
He has been given a 5 year contract and we expect great things now that Coach has a real team with real resources.* |
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Tomay
Joined: Apr 26, 2008
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| Posted:
Jun 09, 2017 - 08:50 |
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Diavoli Are A Bad Team
Debby Demonbreeder – Sports Reporter for the Altdorf Daily
The Griffins pre game press conference today got off to an interesting start when "Captain Karl" Slevogt was asked about his opinion of the Diavoli. The short spoken Karl replied, "they're a bad team, a terrible team."
Coach Tomay was quick to elaborate, "they are a bad team but they always seem to show up and put in extra effort against the big guns of the competition. They're definitely capable of an upset as we saw last season."
There has been speculation that the trip to Tilea was the catalyst for last season's poor performance. Sources close to the Griffins claim that the hospitality shown by the Diavoli in the lead up to the game proved to be a major distraction and that perhaps a riff developed in the team in relation to some "Tilean talent." Certainly, with Captain Karl leading the way and the fixture being held in Altdorf there is no excuse this season. |
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ramchop
Joined: Oct 12, 2013
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Trantio Campus Weekly
A Fresh Start?
by Peppe Bua
Mila Fiore Pisciotta
Assistant Coach - TRU Diavoli
Another season another preseason interview, as usual not with head coach Remo Chiappa, but instead assistant coach Mila Fiore Pisciotta. This year, despite widespread ridicule of the chances of a very green looking Diavoli roster, Mila greeted me in a very jovial and playful mood. Not at all her usual hostile self.
Mila: Peppe! Welcome, come in, come in.
Peppe: err, hello Mila. Let's kick this off with what everyone is asking. Why such a crap roster?
Mila: Crap? Haha Peppe, you joker. Why, Remo has bolstered the roster from the successful Miragliano Goats Tilea Cup team. Some very good players there yes?
Peppe: Well, maybe. Remo seems to have picked from the most junior Goats players. Why not the proven stars?
Mila: Of course many lesser coaches would take such a lazy option. But no, Remo has identified the fresh talent, that he can mould through a full college career. I see the makings of another Filipo in this crop
Peppe: Are you surprised that Remo hasn't selected any from the Sartosa Campus. After all, your three sons served the college very well over the past three years
Mila: Hoho, you didn't actually believe that there is a Sartosa campus? You don't? Peppe! Ha, surely you can't be so naive!
Peppe: umm, well. What about Kosmo? How can he be allowed to play. 21 years old. He has been at Tilea 3 years. He graduated last year, and is still on the team?
Mila: Peppe, have you not heard of postgraduate studies? Kosmo is a real scholar with a great future ahead of him. He only played for the Diavoli for one season, he'll be around a little longer. Anyway Peppe, this is your 4th year on the Campus newsletter, are you not also postgrad? Or perhaps a bit of a failure no? Aha!
Peppe: And the captain? Matteo Fugazzi, I don't think I've ever seen such a talentless player. Two years, and he's never even touched the ball, or hurt another player, yet this barely journeyman is giving the capt-...?
I was curtly cut off. Mila's eyes flickered with the hatred that I know so well
Mila: What do you know about leadership PaperBoy! Child! Arp Arp is a true leader! Gifted with an enormous talent. Quiet yes, but experienced in all things. He is strong, he has stamina, he is good see. Oh! so good. He has the charisma. He is a real man. He loves his, ...team, yes team...
Mila's rage had dissipated. She was smiling again, doe eyed, her face flushed rosy pink.
Mila: excuse please Peppe, I must go now. I have, ahh, tactics, yes tactics to discuss with my captain. |
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mushoomy
Joined: Oct 18, 2013
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Jun 12, 2017 - 09:22 |
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Nordrak College Newsletter - Issue #1 - A Brave New Team
It's a brand new year at Nordrak College, and yet it's already been chaotic! This is due to the humongous uproar centred around the Manticores making a return in the CBBA, under coach Mushoomy; who had previously brought a match won to the state of Mootland. Hundreds of students applied for the team, and assistant coach; Hilda Kummer, had officially announced the strating lineup for the Manticores last night:
"Gentles, perchance but wonder at this team!"
#1- Edgar "Macbeth" Sattler (c)
#2- Theodor "Titus" Ehmann
#3- Sven "Puck" Beutler
#4- Ronald "Romeo" Behr
#5- David "Shylock" Seckbach
#6- Eggert "Hamlet" Schnyder
#7- Olaf "Othello" Adler
#8- Ulrich "Caesar" Dahn
#9- Roman "Pericles" Landsteiner
"The team is looking a little rusty. But with time I believe the Manticores will be among the greatest teams in CBBA history" - Hilda Kummer
The team is now training hard in preparation for their match against the FCU Clippers on Wednesday 2pm SWL.
That concludes the Nordrak College Newsletter. You can read more about the team on their team page. Don't forget Wolfspeare club is straight after the game on Wednesday. Don't forget to bring candles! |
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Geoffro
Joined: May 25, 2014
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Jun 12, 2017 - 12:35 |
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Nuln Bring 1 home!
Coach Geoffro is ecstatic after his huge win tonight against the Yhetees. Some hard work in the off season has payed off.
It is rumoured the Gunners may be up for a big one. But for now the Gunners fans are taking to the streets. Bars are going crazy. Buildings are shaking. Things are Being blown up, CJ McCANNON is being spray painted through out the streets. The city is running riot with drunks. What has happened>?. Blackpowder is in the air and the feeling is BOOM BOOM POW. Will the city survive or are Gunners fans gona make a mess of this place?
Watch this space
Hank McMan - Nuln city times |
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Sharper
Joined: Nov 22, 2006
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Jun 13, 2017 - 06:31 |
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@Buccaneers
Appearing in a Press Conference yesterday, Coach Sharper faced the media for the first time since being appointed at the Buccaneers.
Speaking about the complete overhaul at Norscan Peninsula, he was adamant that the results should be seen in their first season. The Coach refused to speak ill of previous regimes and their lack of successes, saying that the past plays in their potential going forward.
The Buccaneers have released all players and staff, with Coach Sharper opting for a completely fresh start. |
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ramchop
Joined: Oct 12, 2013
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13/6/17 8:58pm
Wow, those Altdorf security guards are fuming. During the pregame entertainment a travelling group of fans from Trantio Design School invaded the pitch. Splash Mob I think they call themselves. Amazing how quick they were with the paint brushes. Security stood around like stunned mullets. Look at that pristine Griffins pitch now!
Of course the Diavoli had absolutely nothing to do with this. CBBA being strictly amateur and all.
We interrupt this chirpfeed with a word from our sponsor
Waaaaaaaaaay better than Reeborc
Anyway, game's about to start, time to get my kicking boots on. haha.
#Diavoli #Tila #SplashMob #CBBA |
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cdwat
Joined: Oct 29, 2013
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Jun 13, 2017 - 14:59 |
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Official statement from Reeborcâ„¢
Reeborcâ„¢ would like an explanation from the CBBA for today's events at the Royal Altdorf Stadium. The display of a rival manufacturer's logo on the pitch directly contravenes clauses in the contract signed between Reeborcâ„¢ and the CBBA.
As the exclusive uniform supplier for the CBBA, Reeborcâ„¢ expect the offending parties to be sanctioned. |
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DrPoods
Joined: Nov 14, 2013
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Jun 14, 2017 - 06:48 |
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@ClippersOfficial
- Athletic Department Statement -
Uiteraard bestaat er een samenzwering tegen FCU en Coach Poods. De administratie belooft een volledig onderzoek.
#ClippersSetSail #Freedom #ImperialLapdogs
______________________________
*Obviously there is a conspiracy against FCU and Coach Poods. The administration promises a full investigation.* |
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"Gallifrey falls no more"
Do your part! Join the Adoption Agency NOW! |
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mushoomy
Joined: Oct 18, 2013
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| Posted:
Jun 14, 2017 - 07:26 |
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Nordrak College Newsletter - Issue #2 - An interview with Puck
For this issue of the Nordrak College Newsletter, we had the opportunity to interview Elven student; Sven "Puck" Beutler, who was selected as MVP after the violent win against the Free State University Clippers. We had originally planned to interview Theodor "Titus" Ehmann, who dished out 3 casualties. However, Puck tricked him into thinking the interview was in the science department and proceeded to sneak into the limelight himself. However, there was a problem; he didn't have the strength of Titus. So he trained hard, got buff, and rolled up to the interview. Here's what he said:
Porky: Evening Titus. First of all, I'd like to congratulate you on your performance against the Clippers. 3 casualties! How did you do it?
Puck: Ah... you know... Kinda just hit them where it hurt. Managed to give their #10 a groin strain
Porky: Smashed hand.
Puck: Smashed hand yes... but let's not focus on me, as it was a team effort. Puck did extraordinary that game, don't you think?
Porky: I mean, I guess so. Which reminds me! Why didn't he score in the first half?! He was right there! You were on the field, can you tell me what happened?
Puck: Well you see, Puck ran an impressive 24 yards in that half alone. When he got to the TD line, he decided to take a rest.
Porky: And get the ball hit off him?
Puck: I don't think he took that into account. But he managed to catch our kick when we charged in! That's impressive right?
Porky: Yes, then he got hurt straight after.
Puck: Yeah, well he didn't take that into account either.
Porky: Alright, we're running out of time. Before we wrap things up, is there anything you'd like to say to the Clippers?
Puck: If we manticores have offended, think but this, and all is mended.
Porky: Oh nice Wolfspeare quote. I love Pu- Hey! That's one of Pucks lines!
And so the elf vanished |
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tussock
Joined: May 29, 2011
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Jun 14, 2017 - 13:55 |
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Erengrad University public statement on brilliance of Erengrad University
After many funding changes, is being improved music department. Arts also much appreciated by new administration committee, chiselling and such, very nice. Opera and other high arts, so much funding has been found. Debate club will tour Empire. Various dance forms widely celebrated with prises and free public performances at university cost.
Also for natural philosophies, Astronomy, Geometry, Alchemy, Algebra, Medicine, Churgury, and also other philosophies, logic, parsimony, divinity, basis for many debates for Debate club.
In other news, Yhetees make own way on tour, buy own uniforms also, support remains of wrestling program with any income made. Is said Streltsi families buy best uniforms, Kossars take leftovers from previous seasons, and wrestlers beg on street for cloth to make own. Who is knowing, is not important.
Also being unrelated to previous, Yhetees lose opening game on tour. Perhaps walking back to Kislev will help with learning good footing, should maybe have ball along to practice running with and not falling down. End statement. |
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HandyKaufman
Joined: Jan 08, 2017
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| Posted:
Jun 15, 2017 - 04:22 |
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Panthers Brawl Famous All-Star
Talabheim University Tribute
Panthers Beat Writer: Jorje Getwald pre-game newswire
Just hours before the Kick off of the 7th season Coach Handy Kaufman was preparing his newly recruited freshman and remaining upper classmen. The Panthers were enjoying a pre-match bloodweiser happy hour at the Black Lantern. Fate would have it an enormous brawl broke out resulting in a devastating quad RIP... The final RIP coming off of a gang foul. Senior Thrower Albert "The Rudder" Leonhard suffered a crushed throat delivered by Oistterloin "Cajun Spice" Freyedffissherman a 200 year old retired CBBA Halfling All-Star.
"It was incredible the boys had enough time to get one of the tables leaning up againts the dart boards," said Cajun Spice, "The Rudder was worthless! one of his arms had a bone sticking out of it and his eye was sown shut by his own swelling.. I thought to myself 'well he aint completing any passes in today's game' so I dispatched him to end his misery. The kitchen staff has got Alberto against the table holding him upside down.. See I got this cain here.. my ole planting foot is no good but this STOMPING boot still got eight kilos of lead shot in it!"
Some witnesses suggested that the Panthers had agitated the halfing cook staff into the brawl.
"Why would you do that? Those point five guys in that kitchen are all renown murderers!" said a witness who wished to remain anonymous.
Another witness believes it was about corruption in the CBBA.
"You know some of those young men are easy to influence and may have been bribed.... or threw a game for the wrong bookee" said Lorenzo the Owner of the Black Lantern.
When asked to be more specific Lorenzo declined to answer.
"The Panthers just suffered a major loss. You could hear the bucket spill..." Lorenzo (owner of the Black Lanter) tweet
"I was forced to hire the wait staff by Lorenzo..." said coach HandyK, " These are the guys we're going with this season...period... no "ifs" "ands" or "buts" about it.. Some people may not be happy with it.. well they will have to deal."
"Obviously quad RIP lunch just before Panther match with Eagles... smells ffisshy" ALU Great Eagles beat reporter Ooultran Gewsman tweeted just moments before kick off.
UPDATE!!! PANTHERS TOPPLE EAGLES 2-1 IN BLOOD STAINED THRILLER !!!
"Of course the boy with a girls name suffered a RIP," Coach HandK smiled, "We got the win anyway! I knew these Black Lantern boys could get it done!"
Turn Six of the second half Ottlia was surfed into the endzone crowd by 'Hootin 'Swoopin, the Eagles first season lineman.
"I guess the regular ticket holders down there behind the zone don't get too many opportunities to pummel a player," smirked 'Swoopin, "things got a little out of hand."
check evening issue for full story.. |
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