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ramchop



Joined: Oct 12, 2013

Post   Posted: Oct 02, 2020 - 22:13
FUMBBL Staff
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The Deserted Isles Blood Bowl Leeg is a weekly league for New Zealand based coaches. Coaches from elsewhere able to commit to NZ prime time (7pm - 9pm nzt) are also welcome.

Season 22 kicked off on 28th September with what will be another great season, wizards, cards and all. Three pools of 8, ending with 4 tiers of playoffs:
- The "Tickling" Playoffs (named to honour the old NZBBN forums' swear filter)
- The Participation Plate (as it's the taking part that counts)
- The Wobbly Boot
- and The Hardy Sole

The Leeg operates both Spiralling Expenses AND Expensive Mistakes to try and knee cap those monster teams.

Teams for S22

Pink 'n Scabby Division
Image World's Edge Hornets - Sharper Image
Image Otago Spirit - tussock Image
Image Ungirt Runnerz - smeborg Image
Image Yaphet Kotto - BlueMillionMiles Image
Image Back Alley Burglars - DustBunny Image
Image Coromandel Capricorns - mushoomy Image
Image Wellington Phoenix - blackcaps Image
Image Dustbunnies - pdarbs Image

Karaz-a-Karak Krakens Division
Image Da Freebootaz - D_Arquebus Image
Image Ashenhall Owls - JPM Image
Image Undercity Unlikeables - Felix17 Image
Image North Cape Crays - Wozzaa Image
Image Freezy Trees - ramchop Image
Image Mnajdra Solstice - claymore3981 Image
Image Settra's Sons - Boriz Image
Image Milking the Pigeon - Trickey Image

Blackwater Sting Division
Image Deserted Isle Buccaneers - Happy_Amateur Image
Image Old Murican Gods - Klazam Image
Image Madhead's Mountain Mob - Trickey Image
Image Brutal Beefcakes - dirtyjambo Image
Image Hauraki Horrors - DDAmAge112 Image
Image Valinor Football Club - Fool Image
Image Itsy Bitsy Locals - ArthurWynne Image
Image Blackwater Blitz - Foad Image


PM your opponents to organise your games. And post in this forum as much fluff as you like.
Trickey



Joined: Oct 10, 2018

Post   Posted: Oct 02, 2020 - 22:32 Reply with quote Back to top

Fox Meadows and the Madheads the first OWA team to play in the Deserted isles. More fluff on their page. Also let it be known the that Fox Meadows himself is the First Sporting Giant in Dibbl. For more info follow Fox News.

After a hard loss against the Cripple Creek Cavaliers. The Madhead’s find themselves in a tavern in Tableheim.

“So you are happy to sign on the dotted line Fox!”- Magoo says eagerly shuffling a contract under a confused Brisket's nose.

“More than happy!” says Fox before grabbing the parchment before Brisket swallowed it.

Harold Crumpetarse came charging in excitedly.

“I have found it!” he exclaimed.

“What” asked Fox.

“The Timelord’s hot tub it is through the back here.”

Overly excited the team all rushed through to soak after the tough match. Little did they know this was the infamous transportation device that the Timelords had used numerous times before. And vooom……………………..

Into the flux. The party wandered out to the vast shimmering lands of the Deserted Isles.

Hastily, Magoo set about lining up friendly matches for them.

Before a spritely devious league commissioner took what little gold thay had and placed them in their first League event. Within the Blackwater Sting division.

Lets see how they fare.
Wozzaa



Joined: Apr 23, 2016

Post   Posted: Oct 02, 2020 - 23:51 Reply with quote Back to top

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The Crays found themselves with the Lamburly Shield for the start of Season 22. Some suspect the Halflings of thievery, but however they got their grubby mits on it, they got it. And they don't wanna lose it.

Game One

North Cape Crays vs Ashenhall Owls

The Crays brought some friends, Rumblelow Sheepskin and the great Morg'n'Thorg, both of which were crucial to the retention of the shield.

In the first half, a tricky Wardancer stripped Morg of the ball, and the elves skittered away. The flings had one chance. To stop them. Rumblelow. Dodges into a tackle zone out of another to Ram the catcher, and stun him.

In the second, after the elves scored early, Morg ran the ball. And a great final blitz got him over the line.

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Last edited by Wozzaa on Oct 03, 2020 - 04:10; edited 1 time in total
Foad



Joined: Sep 02, 2007

Post   Posted: Oct 03, 2020 - 03:52 Reply with quote Back to top

The Blackwater originals have returned!!!

Blackwater has had a long history of notable SWL teams, including a couple that have made thr Tazman crossing to find glory, and now the Deserted Isles is home to the team that started it all, the Blackwater Blitz.

With their history dating back to the LRB days of the SWL, and Thunderdome accolades in the CRP era fringe, they have set themselves to rebuild to make a run at the Tickling Playoffs.

Don't expect much flair as this first season is truly a builder, and they will struggle as Coach Foad seeks to build the team back to it's operational level.

_________________
They see me Trollin', they hatin'...
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Wozzaa



Joined: Apr 23, 2016

Post   Posted: Oct 03, 2020 - 08:31 Reply with quote Back to top

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Game Two

North Cape Crays v Milking the Pigeon

Next up for the Crays was a bunch of Snotlings!

A good ol' stunty off.

The first half was full of snot shenanigans, tiny lil guys blocking the (surprisingly) bigger, stronger halflings, and still managing to knock the flings down. The snots managed to pop the ball, which the flings recovered. They then survived a close shave with a bomb, only for another snot to take down the ball carrier again.

The riotous rookie even managed to scamper off with the ball. Fortunately for the flings, they got a good hit, and Gallow was able to recover the ball.

The snots ridiculously strong armed bomber blew himself up, and Gallow was able to scamper down the field to grab the games only TD.

The Snots hid the ball inside a Pump wagon in the second, but a fortunate block managaed to pop it loose as the Crays went on to retain the shield again.

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Trickey



Joined: Oct 10, 2018

Post   Posted: Oct 03, 2020 - 14:07 Reply with quote Back to top

They got lucky! Hopefully the Pigeon Milkers will get another crack at the shield and the Flings. Wink
Trickey



Joined: Oct 10, 2018

Post   Posted: Oct 12, 2020 - 11:52 Reply with quote Back to top

“Mad heads Mountain Mob: Season 1 The Fox Hunt

Chapter 1 Day of the Jackal

"This is it"- bellows an over excited Harold Crumpetarse while tucking in to a grease ridden veal pie it's pungent aroma filling the changing sheds.

"What, the best pie you have had yet?" Asks Fox Harold has seemingly been on a quest ever since transporting across the Dibbl flux to these strange lands claiming the pastry here much better than that of the old world.

"No the best pie is always the next one. This is your big day Fox your first outing in the league".

It was true the local rags had been full of nonsense doubting Fox's pedigree. One unscrupulous paper even suggested his broken ribs from tripping in the bath were just a ploy to escape the clutches of the league big killers the Deserted Isle Buccaneers in the first round. Though nerves had been getting the better of him today he was excited to go out there.

Madhead Magoo came storming into the room seemingly in a bit of a panic as it was apparently seconds to kick off. The Blind dwarf coach had seemingly run a rousing team speech for the last 40 minutes. Unfortunately he was in the mop cupboard and just presumed the players were hanging on every word. His aides sheepishly followed him having yet again neglected there job.

"Right this is it men!" You hear me!" He waited for a response there was a faint murmur of Gibbletstorm saying "Well were did you put your shoes to Briskett" and the slurping sound of Harold sucking all the fat juice off his pastry.

"They are a tough outfit but story is simple hit them hard and fast and repeatedly you hear me!"

A quick Hurrah and out they charge.

The Mountain heads kicked off and as they set up they saw some hulking presences out there. Rock Johnson Ulfweaner of ill repute kept pointing at Fox and barking orders at Kick-Ass Taylor-Johnson and Jackal Chance. Something around the lines of "His skin is mine".

The break Fox kicked it soundly and hid behind Briskett. Roman Gibson gathered the ball and the line of scrimmage crumbled. Silus Rothorn foud himself off for an early bath and Jackal Chance burst through and quickly pounded poor Briskett into the ground to stand towering over fox. Luckily the clumsy thing fell softly on top of Fox. Ever the gent Cornelius Velvetfoot came over to boot the beast off of Fox. The Referee was quick to get Velvetfoot and eject him from the game taking Magoo with him for obscene gestures toward the goal posts.

Fox gathered himself and sprinted towards the cage with Brikett and Stanley Firebrand in hot pursuit. Enric 'the Flea' Stoolerbaker was able to get threaten the ball carrier but he managed to get a way.

Fox found himself on the ground again and with the ref seemingly embroiled in an argument about what an Obscene gesture looks like, a flurry of kicks landed on the peoples champion.

Intent on toying with their victims the Norse sat on the line threatening to score and show boating to the crowd. Briskett tried to charge at them but he to found himself in a bloody heap. Allegedly the next piece of action occurred when Magoo was firmly in the dungeon and he couldn't of possibly paid anyone for such a trick.

A great Fireball ripped from the sky and downed both Roman Gibson and Jackal Chance. This seemingly gave some hope to the Madheads. Alas it couldn't stop the inevitable score from Rock Johnson. Who spent the final minutes of the half signing autographs in the stands.

With a down left on the clock. It was up to Fox to pull something out the hat. He went to pick up the ball but greasy with the blood of Gibson he dropped it.

1-0 at the half and the eat playing havoc with the Norsemen's constitution. Fox had a whiff of Glory.

Right "Old Glory 21 Old Glory 21" he barked chasing the ball that was kicked deep hard.

Hot Wing, Enric, Gibbletstorm and Crumpet, somehow finding himself at the business end of the action all ripped up the pitch. Looking for space.

Unfortunately what they found is set of Norse full backs intent on removing all the Madheads Hot wing quickly leaving the field in a dazed heap. Enric though broke free and from deep Fox sprinted past Angry Max the OMG's captain to throw a perfect spiral to him. Or thats what he imagined happened after coming to in the dugout.

"What was the score?" he said to Harold Crumpetarse who seemed to of made an early start on the after match snacks.

"2-0 mate 2-0"

"How was I." he asked?

"well lets just say you had a foot in the game son." ”
ramchop



Joined: Oct 12, 2013

Post   Posted: Oct 14, 2020 - 07:44
FUMBBL Staff
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Rakhak's Hoof (aka "The Hoof", "The Rakhak")

Image

The votes are in (only 2 days week past the deadline).

Current player list:

ImageThe Mark: High Stakes Lockwood. mushoomy still hunts for revenge against a player (any player!) coached by Foad. This time it's a killer from the Blackwater Blitz! High Stakes looks dangerous though with all the nasty skills. Try to kill him and you may find yourself as the corpse.


Image The Brute: Lord Black Death Rotmaw. Armour 9 and Foul Appearance, this monster may be a tougher target than The Mark. 57 cas in 53 games, he's a danger alright (if your sense of smell allows you to get close enough). [6 votes]

Image The Greatest: Fox Meadows. Fox! Fox! Fox! This newcomer to the Leeg is truly the greatest. But the greatest what? Thrower? Publicist? or maybe the greatest Sploosh! We shall see. [5 votes]

Image The Legend: Hollie Fraser. Coach tussock isn't averse to a bit of publicity himself, casting two votes on his favorite scorer. The cloak of protection that a Hoof nomination is well known, will it keep her safe to see out her 100th game? [4 votes]

Rules:
Kill one of these lovely creatures and you can proudly display the Hoof trophy on your player bio, team bio, coach bio... wherever you see fit. Until someone takes it from you by killing another nominee.

The horseshoe, however is permanent, and may remain on your player's bio forever:

Image

Image Brian "The Bagman" Berlusconi killed Image Blue Suede Shoes Season 14

The Hoof harvest:
Image
ramchop



Joined: Oct 12, 2013

Post   Posted: Oct 14, 2020 - 09:52
FUMBBL Staff
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View from above - Season Preview from your unbiased incorruptible Commish

Three divisions this season. Let's name them after three champion foreign teams who have caused the locals so much pain by long denying us a title.
Pink 'n Scabby Division

ImageWorld's Edge Hornets (Sharper)
TV 1720k. If Sharper can win the Cup with rookie chaos, then surely the champs can go back to back now that they've put on the beef.
Player to watch: Gor'Vivax Block, claw, tentacles, and surely stand firm is not far away. This cow is a monster!
Prediction: 1st in pool, Champion

Image Ungirt Runnerz (smeborg)
TW 1720k. Rookie orcs made the Tickling Playoffs last season. But it wasn't these orcs. This time they'll qualify, however, like the Freebootaz will be bundled out in their first game.
Player to watch: Filbert is the only stat on the team, but this is a team team, so the speedy orc won't outshine his fellow players by too much.
Prediction: 2nd in pool. Exit first round of playoffs

Image Otago Spirit (tussock)
TW 2190k. The big zons will relish the scarcity of big bash teams this season. They'll embarrass a few other teams with severe hidings, but will just miss out on the finals.
Player to watch: Legend Hollie Fraser will speed past many a failed tackle. There's a Hoof on her head this season, she'll dodge that too.
Prediction: 3rd in pool

ImageYaphet Kotto (BlueMillionMiles)
TW 1490k. So much paper this season. This team have some lovely players and will look to take most team touchdowns for S22. They will lose a few of the close ones though.
Player to watch: The agility 6 elf should be the one doing all the scoring. Baraqiel also like to hurt things as he glides into cages and strips balls.
Prediction: 4th in pool

ImageBack Alley Burglars (DustBunny)
TV 1380k. Tragedies and Leeg taxes continue to hurt the big ogres but they still have some monsters. Ogres will do plenty of punching, grinding bones aplenty. Maybe they'll surprise and bounce back to their past top form - unlikley
Player to watch: Chop is the biggest ogre Ogre across all divisions in Fumbbl, and perhaps the known universe. What's left for him to achieve? Outdo the biggest human Ogre!
Prediction: 5th in pool

Image Coromandel Capricorns (mushoomy)
TV1420k. The repeated choking got the better of poor mushoomy and he parked his monster Nurgle. With the humans can it be considered choking when the expectations are so low?
Player to watch: Ogre's are rarely the star of the show for a human team, but Padys Riss is determined to change things. Block, Pro and 8 casualties in 9 games, he has made a good start.
Prediction: 6th in pool

Image Wellington Phoenix (blackcaps)
TV990k Stand up for the Phoenix! And then sit down again. Nothing to see here, they're too small this season.
Player to watch: How to pick a player to watch when nobody has played? Let's go with a blitzer Udri Meragrand
Prediction: 7th in pool

Image Dustbunnies (pdarbs)
TV1040k. Speaking of small. DIBBL welcomes snotlings into the Leeg.
Player to watch:You know you're in trouble when your best player is strength 1. So let's watch a tackling pump wagon instead. Go Kaylee Liban!
Prediction: Spoon
ramchop



Joined: Oct 12, 2013

Post   Posted: Oct 16, 2020 - 08:12
FUMBBL Staff
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View from above - Season Preview from your unbiased incorruptible Commish

All three divisions are named after teams who failed to win SWL but thrived in the fresher air clean green environment that DIBBL has to offer.
Karaz-a-Karak Krakens Division

Image Da Freebootaz (D_Arquebus)
TW 1870k. The successful orcs from S21, the Freebootas topped their division. They'll do so again this season with even harder greenskins at their disposal.
Player to watch: Ghazghkull Block, tackle, mighty blow. Nothing special, but it's enough in this division.
Prediction: 1st in pool, exit semis

ImageFreezy Trees (ramchop)
TV 1500k. Never amounted to much in SWL, the Freezy Trees have astutely observed fellow SWL failures cross the ditch to achieve glory. So the Trees return home. Without a yeti, without a Thunderdome S4 Chainsaw freak. They might not succeed this season, but they'll outdo the 'Muricans.
Player to watch: Unlike Lorax, Gox will make Legend. He's eyeing up a swarm of snotlings to make the grade.
Prediction: 2nd in pool, beaten finalist

ImageAshenhall Owls (JPM)
TV 2690k. Massive wood elves, with a massive bench, and a massive sack of injuries. The Owls have a long history in the Leeg. A big Shield reign (which they'll fail to repeat), and a big history of lower tier playoffs (which they'll succeed in qualifying for).
Player to watch: A screen won't stop Ag6 Flint Burrows from gliding through the T16 screen for a TD. But a Ma9 teammate might
Prediction: 3rd in pool

ImageUndercity Unlikeables (Felix17)
TV 1570k. Amazingly the rats survived a horrific pool of bash last season, they even grew a bit in TV. There's a lot to like about these unlikeables and they'll fiercely compete for a top 2 spot, but will fall a little short.
Player to watch: Only a philistine doesn't appreciate a Black Jellybean, and this one is the tastiest gutter runner in the line-up. Ma10 may not be FUMBBL legal for too much longer, make the most of it Jellybean!
Prediction: 4th in pool

Image North Cape Crays
TV1250k. The Crays stepped in midway through last season taking the place of a lost Russian. They made an impact, seizing the Wobbly Boot and were gifted the Shield for their fine efforts. They'll cling dearly to the Shield with their tiny fists but won't be able to hang onto it for the full season.
Player to watch: Come on they're flings! They're not worth watching! However, stick one on a goat and the party really gets going. Go Rumblelow Sheepskin
Prediction: 5th in pool

ImageSettra's Sons (Boriz)
TV 1500k. Yet another ex-SWL team crossing the ditch to the retirement tax haven that is DIBBL. After the entry fee trim, this one will take a while to get going, but will eventually dish out the pain.
Player to watch: Un'kahk the Unlucky a mere skeleton outshines the positionals on the team. Unluncky? Ag3 Ma6 Dodge. Blessed!
Prediction: 6th in pool

ImageMnajdra Solstice (claymore3981)
TW 1040k. With little time to build before the season kicked off, these vamps are near rookies. Vamps are hard work as rookies battling monster teams. Ordinarily they might be expected to take the sppon. Ordinarily you don't find yourself in a pool with Trickey, playing snotlings!
Player to watch: Ount Everit has Blodge
Prediction: 7th in pool

Image Milking the Pigeon (Trickey)
TV1030k. It's Trickey! Playing Snotlings!
Player to watch:You know you're in trouble when your best player is strength 1. So let's watch a tackling pump wagon instead. One day soon Randy Vomitbucket may be able to vomit!
Prediction: Spoon
ramchop



Joined: Oct 12, 2013

Post   Posted: Oct 17, 2020 - 04:35
FUMBBL Staff
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View from above - Season Preview from your unbiased incorruptible Commish

The final division is named after a member of SWL's famous Blackwater franchise. Glee Club have won SWL, Sting have won DIBBL, will the ancients from LRB4 see glory in DIBBL?
Blackwater Sting Division

ImageBlackwater Blitz (Foad)
TV 1500k. As new entrants they start fairly low TV compared to other teams in the Leeg. But most of the others in this pool are in the same boat. The Blitz will race to the top of the divsion but falter against a monster in the playoffs.
Player to watch: With a Hoof up for grabs there'll be plenty watching High Stakes Lockwood. Hooray for the CPOMB!
Prediction: 1st in pool, exit semi final

Image Deserted Isle Buccaneers (Happy_Amateur)
TV 2220k. Nurgle have never won DIBBL - come close, but never won it. Unlike the famous Scum chokers, the Buccs haven't really threatened before. This season they'll terrorize the Leeg and put up a decent fight in the playoffs.
Player to watch: The amazing Mash Kharnn is superceded this season by the foul Hoof Lord Black Death Rotmaw. Gives me nightmares he does.
Prediction: 2nd in pool, exit first round of playoffs

ImageOld 'Murican Gods (Klazam)
TV 1430k. The glass smashed all over the place last season (22 cas against), and the cannons fired (26 for). More of the same in S22 should see them fire another shot at the Plate.
Player to watch: The big, the mighty, the slightly cracked Rock Johnson.
Prediction: 3rd in pool

ImageItsy Bitsy Locals (ArthurWynne)
TV 1440k. A newcomer to the league ArthurWynne has brought a solid team of dark elves. The toughest of the elves will take a battering in the best Leeg.
Player to watch: Atrax leads the dark elf raid on the Isles, with speed, agility, and mighty blows.
Prediction: 4th in pool

ImageHauraki Horrors (DDAmAge112)
TW 1740k. The Horrors are back, and ready to pull limbs off elves, like wings off a fly. I predict they'll kill 2 elves in their first 2 games, and continue the murderous rampage throughout the season.
Player to watch: We really should be watching the Legend mummy, but there's another legend to be waiting in the wings, wight Roberts Revenge.
Prediction: 5th in pool

Image Valinor Football Club (Fool)
TV1440k More new elves. These will get squished a bit more than the dark elves further up the table.
Player to watch: With many ho-hum skills spread across the team, let's watch the hitter Drizzt Do'Urden
Prediction: 6th in pool

Image Madhead's Mountain Mob (Trickey)
TV1370k. If anyone could nab two spoons in the same season, it'd be Trickey. Sadly however, he'll fail in this quest just scraping above the orcs on a tiebreaker.
Player to watch: Fox Meadows!!!!!! what a... spectacle.
Prediction: 7th in pool

Image Brutal Beefcakes (dirtyjambo)
TW 1600k. Still building, into their 3rd season now. These orcs might just win the best painted award.
Player to watch: If the orcs struggle to hurt things, maybe El Chapo might convince the crowd to.
Prediction: Spoon
Trickey



Joined: Oct 10, 2018

Post   Posted: Oct 19, 2020 - 11:42 Reply with quote Back to top

Season 1 The Fox hunt

Chapter 2 Shock Horror

Fox meadows stares across the paddock what pedigree does he have was the Blackwater Bugle headline. Harold piped up. "Hater gonna hate Fox Haters gonna hate"

The article went on to say all mouth no Trousers.

"I will show them Harold I will show them all I tell you! Glory will be mine"

"Surely you mean ours Fox" Enric Stoolerbaker said piping up. "You know this is a team game personally I have no idea why you get all this press what have you ever even done. Everyone know this team is all about me and Hotwing. You go and stick with the Halflings and Dwarves where you belong."

The bad tempered Blitzer hated nearlyeveryone on the team and Fox's press was not helping.

"Oh and Fox" Enric said "Remember to pick up the damn ball."

Enric trotted off to practice is throwing hoping Magoo would let him take on the quarterback role.

"Don't worry bout them" said Harold, "lets get some food on board".

The Hauaki's tea rooms were deadly quiet with mostly lumbering Zombies looking for Brains to chomp on and skeletons staring at their soup bowls.

"Over here Fox this tea room is legendary" the eager halfling darted towards the deserted end of the hall with a hatch that said soul food.

A lumbering Ghoul was tending to a large bubbling caldron and the smell was actually rather tempting.

Harold grabbed three plates the first one didn't even make it to the table before he wolfed it down.

"What the hell are you eating?" asked Fox staring at the two full steaming bowls.

"It is the famous Ghoulash, a mix of Possum and wombat shipped in from the Southern Waste Lands. The best you will get this side of the new world".

Fox couldn't remember the last time he ate all this press had been putting him off his food perhaps it might settle his Stomach.

He quickly grabbed a bowl before Harold could get through the first one.

---------

Gathering in the sheds the talk had all circulated around Hulking Hauraki and how best to avoid the Mummy. The squad were eagerly awaiting Madhead Magoo's pre match thunder talk.

Suddenly his aides burst in the room again looking sheepish. Under there watchful eyes Madhead had apparently went into the wrong locker room and spent the last half hour explaining he short fallings of his own squad including a 35minute rant on reasons not to pick Gorrick Icehand. Luckily he had seemingly got all his negativity out and was back on task.

"Right lads, simple int it, just steer clear let them do the hits we look after ball."

With that the squad ran out on to the field.

It seemed the local fans were on the Madheads side all this negative press seemingly bringing out some of the fans to see what the fuss was all about.

The Horrors cut a formidable defensive line and certianily looked intimidating as they kicked off and quickly followed up.

Fox sprnted towards the kicked ball and went to pick it up. Reaching down with it almost in his mit suddenly a crippling stomach pain rattled through his body and he dropped the ball.

"What the hell" Fox thought to himself.

Though the line of Scrimmage was holding slowly the Ghouls were creeping into the Madheads half. This though was balanced with the Enric and Hotwing ripping deep into the Horrors half.

Fox attempted to pick it up again and his time it was successful he cruised past the oncoming traffic to shape to throw the perfect pass as the early score was on. Just as he looked to release the ball bang another deep pain in the stomach and the ball fell out his paw.

Grifter Gibletstrom shouted at him "What the hell is going on lad." As slowly the Horrors crept down the flank. They gathered the ball and formed a tight cage around it. n an ominous death march they shuffled up the pitch. Suddenly ahuge orange light came from the sky and a fire ball opened up this cage.

"What the hell was that." asked Harold.

Harold was having a notably strong game for everything that Fox had done wrong some how the halfling had done right including opportunistic fouls and an incredible diving tackle.

This though the arcane intervention and a scrambling defence could not hold back the horrors crossing for the opening touch down.

"Right Fox you are on" Screamed Magoo somehow unaware that he was in the starting line up as the Mountain heads lined up.

Travis Hotwing and Enric trotted past Fox and in unison said "One Job Fox! One Job!!"

Harold ran back on to the pitch saying to Fox "I tell you I feel amazing it is the Ghoulash mate".

That's it Fox tough the Ghoulash surely it couldn't be? Could it?

The Horros kicked deep and again the fleet Fox was quick to get to the ball, this time he Picked it up with ease.

"No cant be the Ghoulash" -Fox Thought to himself but let us just try something. He ripped forward and instead of the long spiral he shaped to make a small toss of the ball. Bang before it let his hand crippling stomach pain, he tried to regather the throw but to no avail. The ball landed on the ground.

The two teams went back into the sheds.

"Harold that Ghoulash it was poisoned or cursed mate I tell ya hey have done something to me."

Before Harold could say anything in stormed Enric and Hotwing. They were visibly upset.

"Out the way Harold" Enric said as he ran toward Fox and gut punched him between the armor plates.

"Stop making me look like a fool!" Enric said curtly.

"Is that all you got" Fox taunted.

Enric Swung again an as he did Fox lifted his arms exposing more of his midriff in a strange move. Enric's fist flew deep into Fox's stomach and a surge of vomit came out of Foxes mouth. On to Enric's shoes. At this point Briskett and Grifter came in Enric knew batter than to keep up the fight.

"Just do your damn job Fox Meadows." said Enric as he charged out the shed followed by his lacky Travis.

"Right I think that has sorted it." Said Fox smiling at the stunned room.
----

The rest of the match clicked along and though the Madheads couldn't quite get a handle on the game Fox was feeling better.

At 3-0 down there seemed little hope for the rabble but another huge kick and a chase from Fox saw him gather the ball and charge down the Field he lined up the pass and perfection thats what the crowd were here to see.

Unfortunately the whistle went and that was the end of the game.
Trickey



Joined: Oct 10, 2018

Post 7 Posted: Oct 21, 2020 - 12:02 Reply with quote Back to top

Season 1 The Fox hunt Chapter 3 A fools errand

Valinor Football Club new to the league could this be it could this be when the stars aligned. Fox sat in his spa sipping his lime cordial. These High elves were certianily living the High life here.

Madhead demanded that the whole team watched the Cabal vision replays of the Valinor's previous game. Problem being the dwarf coach, being blind from a mining accident instead had been playing some bizarre footage of what looked like an amateur ballet performed by Snotling side Milking the Pigeon recorded or a squig orphanage. Any complaints where met with a curt shut up and pay attention.

"Harold what do you know about these rookies mate" Asked Fox leaning over to Harold's bath.

Well the Bugel had nice things to say about Drizzt Do'Urden and Legolas" said Harold in between bites of a family sized pork pie. "Yeh, they had nothing to say about you this week. Oh apart from the letter section, yeh that was good it said Fox Meadows can wash My Ball's. Sign Gregor Paulsen, ohh isn't that nice."

"Are you still reading that damn Rag Harold I told you bloody ignore that stuff." Fox exclaimed.

-------------------------------------------------------------------------------

Pre match and this time Madhead was there on time with a large flipping parchment.

"Bloody got everything these elves I tell ya! Right everyone look his way." Said Magoo here is the plan.

Unfortunately the pages mostly had phallic symbols scrawled on them crudely and the way Jimmy Twicefried was rolling on the floor all bets were on the fact it was him who had done the scrawling.


"Lets go Fox" Harold said.

Could he do it could he finally put these nagging doubts behind him. The plan this time was to bash hit hard and early was Magoo's call.

The High elfs kicked and rapidly got around the Madheads, their bash approach not helping as these elfs looked up to the task. Harold was first to be stretchered off after being pounded into the ground.

Seeing his best friend stretchered off was the only excuse for dropping the ball that Fox could play out in his head. The elf's were all over the mob and they were out hitting the squad. Cornelius Veletfoot tried to even things up stomping on fallen elfs unfortunately the referee had a keen eye on him and removed the player.

The elfs quickly scored their first touchdown.

"What the Hell is going on!" Magoo screamed into the Ko box while the squad recouped.

"Get me the damn ball Fox!" said Enric with a snarl.

Resetting the drive Fox leapt o to the ball and the mob put up an effective screen in front of him. Enric and Travis flew forward with Briskett in close support. Right said Fox aiming to launch the ball towards Enric. The pefect Spiral jetted across the pitch Enric had his eyes firmly on the piece of leather but boom up leapt Legolas and plucked he ball out of the air.

"Oh Shit" Fox said to himself as the Valinor football squad Pushed forward up his flank.

Bravely standing in front of Fox the stream of Elves flooded forward battering him to the ground. There lay his lifeless body on the green. Things had got very real as the cleaning maidens dragged off his lifeless body.

Fox Sprinted and tried some covering defence to little avail. 2-0 at the half.

A stunned silence was at the halftime talk Fox staring deeply at the floor with no Harold to jolly him on he had never felt so lonely. The other humans gathered around Enric who was postulating and thumping his chest.

"Maybe they are right maybe I don't belong here." Fox thought to himself.

---------------------------------

It seemed to be going from bad to worse for the mob and there defensive drive was just as poor as their malfunctioning offence.

Linda Leadbelly was he next casualty the High elfs showing no mercy as they pounded her lifless body into the ground.

Tears of rage streaming down his face the rest of the match turned into a blur. Fox hobbled into the sheds. 4-0 what an embarrassment.

Fox sat there for an intangibly long time just weeping and thinking of home. "They are right" he kept sobbing.

Stanley Firebrand walked in quietly and sat next to Fox.

"Get the self together lad we have a double wake to attend." said Firebrand.

Fox lifted his head and pulled his tired body off the pine bench.

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Grifter Gibbletstorm leapt up on to the bar of the Fettered Calf and bellowed: "Right you lo we have experienced more loss than we have ever know."

"But we Moutain folk", he stared around at the squad that was there the only other human apart from Fox who had made the ceremony was Silus Rothorn, sitting on the front line with the dwarfs he had grown in his affinity with them.

"But we Mountain folk" Grifter repeated "Know out of Fire comes Steel! This is the very forge that sharpens our blades to strike deep". The squad started baying Briskett in particular hanging on all his master was saying let out a deep guttural roar.

"Now in common tongue so you humans can join in here is our traditional song to mourn the one an a alf that left us". With this Grifter started in a solemn deep tone into song:

It is time for you my son

It is time for you my daughter

To no longer have life

To no longer drink water

It is time for you to be dead

It is time for you to no longer be living

You're no longer with us

Everyone will mourn you for a time

Until they forget you

Until they forget you, which will be sooner than you think.

Cheers were raised laughter and jubilation. Harold danced a jig, but Fox sat in the corner feeling nothing.

Magoo sidled up to him led by his aides.

"Fox me lad I want you to meet someone" Said Magoo softly.
"This is Robert M. Nideffer, he is a doctor a er head doctor".

"A head Doctor?" exclaimed Fox. "I wasn't hit that hard!"

"No Fox I ain't that kind of doctor I am here to get the best you out of you." said Robert. "We will start early tomorrow."

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P.S note to readers I have no idea where this is going very much just a wim and apologies for the flitting in and out of first to third person etc, I have little discipline as a writer and even less as a coach.
Trickey



Joined: Oct 10, 2018

Post   Posted: Nov 01, 2020 - 04:31 Reply with quote Back to top

Season1 the Fox Hunt Chapter 4 Enter the Fox

"So tell me Fox, what is your earliest memory" asked Robert M. Nideffer as Fox lay back on the hard pine bench.
"I don't know...... I can remember running through a field, the wind rushing past my hair." Fox reminisced. “It...er.. I mean I just felt so free.”

“Hold that thought Fox, hold it you hear me hold it tight fox.”

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“Harold how the hell are you fairing mate those elfs gave you a fair pasting” Fox enquired as Harold sauntered into the changing sheds. Fox hadn’t seen him for any of this week's training sessions, though training would be a liberal term for the squabbling that was a Magoo run session.

“Oh I tell ya it has been tough the local infirmary only feeds ya three times a day” Harold chirped up. “They tell me you had to get your head put straight as well Fox! Did one of them Elfy buggers snap the”.

“No mate I have just been talking its all good”. Fox said feeling a burden lifted.

“Today is the day as well mate I tell ya, the Blackwater Blitz are in town and Highstakes Lockwood is out. It is ours fir the taking I tell the.” Said Harold frothing at the mouth.

Suddenly he leapt up and charged out the sheds, following him fox saw him tackle an elderly pi vender who was doing the rounds. Perhaps he wasn’t thinking about the game at all.

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Game day there was a feeling of expectation in the air as the mob started their individual pre match rituals. Grifter was feeding Briskett some live rats he had caught claiming it would give him the taste of blood the gentle giant seemed to have been missing this season. Enric was snarling in the corner exchanging words with Silus and Jimmy the Hammer, it seemed the talk was around possible shifts from this amateurish outfit, a regular favourite topic of the blitzers.

In walked Madhead Magoo himself uncharacteristically on time. “Listen up folks, here is our new player walking corpse apologies I mean Gogonfar Icehand. Make sure he is welcome.”

“Ieee will make a spot for him beside Gorrik an Golfir” Bellowed Enric. His entourage bursting into laughter.

The last two Icehands had short careers for the Madheads and their seemed to be a similar haunted look to Gogonfar. Fox had had enough.

“You bloody take that back Enric we are all one team here.” Fox said raising himself up off the bench.

“Oh the Fox ay, that shrink sorted you out have they you just pick up the damn ball mate and don’t worry about anything else.” Enric spat at Fox closing in on the quarterback.

Both men stared at each other neither wanting to back down. Luckily for Fox the standoff was broken by a semi digested rat hitting Enric in the side of the head. “Keep that damn beast under control” Enric barked at Grifter.

“Ok let's get out there and punch a few things that aint each other” said Madhead.

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The Mob ran out on the field looking across at the menacing looking rat folk. They were set to kick and looked eager to get on with the match.

They took the frontline by surprise kicking and chasing hard. Luckily Fox was quick on the ball and picked it up with ease he then stated a running play the Blocking line seemingly ready for the task of hitting things and the Skaven line was slowly dissolving under the pressure. Fox kept running he shaped to pass but Enric seemed more interested in hitting things and Tavis Hotwing was more interested in hitting the floor. So he kept his head down and ran and ran. And then crossed into the End Zone. Touchdown Fox Touchdown! Magoo quickly ran over to what he thought was a player but hugged the referee instead which did not go down well as the ref was busy removing Cornelius Velvetfoot from the game after one boot too many.

The Mob shaped to kick and continued with their combative approach to the game holding the Skaven off scoreless till the half.

“Great work lads now let's try and hold on” Said Harold between mouthfuls of the halftime snacks he had found. Poor Harold had seemingly been taking the brunt of the Skaven attack, an increasingly popular target in the league.

This time the Mob kicked deep and though Scott Goes-first was quick to get onto the ball the Skaven attack was somewhat stumbling as they inched up the field. Stoolerbaker Sprinted deep into the Blitz’s half trying to put pressure on to little avail. Fox held the back line as they advanced with Travis who increasingly was tasting the dirt. Bellowed “Leave this to me circling back to get the ball carrier. Charging forth he tripped and fell awkwardly he lay in a lump on the floor. Stretchered off and to see the apothecary he gave a coy thumbs up to the crowd as he went off.

Fox tried to continue to put pressure on the ball with Harold also in the last line of defence unfortunately they couldn’t hold out.1-1 and full time but a result! A draw and much rejoicing.
Happy_Amateur



Joined: Jan 14, 2019

Post   Posted: Nov 01, 2020 - 07:59 Reply with quote Back to top

Never apologise Trickey. You're magic xx
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